Tuesday, August 27, 2019

He Is Glued To My Side



Yesterday the nurse called me from general surgery and told me they have managed to get me in to have a port placed at the hospital on Wednesday.  I was sooooo excited.  "Oh, this is wonderful news" I said.  After I said it, I told Kris, the nurse on the phone, I can't believe I am excited about yet another surgery or surgical procedure ~ #6 in 10 months.  She said, "I know.  You have been through so much in the past year."  I had been praying for God to get me in on Wednesday.  My surgeon is on maternity leave so someone I have never met would need to do this for me.   I would start to worry about it, and then tell Papa God, "It is in your hands.  If that is the right day, work it out!"   He did.  God is good.  He is faithful.  He is glued to my side on this journey called life. 

My world has changed the past 10 months in ways I never thought about.  I have never liked going to doctors, avoided hospitals, limited medications I took, and having surgery was not on my radar.  But life has a way of readjusting our perspectives.  Now I see things differently.   I find I am grateful for doctors, good hospitals, and even medications that help along the journey.

Lately I have been reading more of Ann Voskamp's writings and one theme that she speaks about often is gratitude.  And gratitude shifts our perspective, and a different perspective makes all the difference in how we do life in the good times, and bad times, but especially the "bad".  Because no matter what we are going through in body, soul, or spirit, God is good.  He is faithful.  He is glued to our side on this journey we call life. 

So today I am thankful for a surgeon "working me into his schedule on short notice" and I am thankful for a good hospital and caring staff.  I am thankful for the "chariots and horses" ( a former post I wrote HERE) that God is using to help me fight my battle.  And I remind myself and all of you, God is good.  He is faithful.  He is glued to our side on this journey we call life!

Saturday, August 24, 2019

Saturday's Scribbles



Good Saturday to you from our corner of Iowa where August has felt more like September with cooler temps and dryer air.  It has been so nice!  Everything is still green and flush though, and the  lowers are still blooming and some of our resident birds are still singing.  We are taking in the last days of summer, while looking forward to my favorite season, Autumn.

I follow a page on Facebook called "The Northern Life" which posts amazing pictures of nature at it's best and sometimes worst.  We love seeing the Northern Lights and miss them down here in the "south" where they only rarely show up.  Having spent many years in our home state of Minnesota we still miss what it has to offer.  Between the two of us we have lived in 7 different towns/cities in the land of 10,000 lakes!

This was a week of visiting with family and friends.  Monday my sister Kay took me to pick up the prosthesis that we ordered from rehab.  We had a nice visit!  We saw family last Thursday on our way to Rochester and this past Tuesday we drove 4 hours round trip to visit my older sister who helped raise me along with my sister Janelle.  A complete surprise was learning our oldest daughter, her hubby and daughter were heading home from our middle daughter and family's place.  We were both in the cities at the same time so they came to see Gr. Jo. and we got to hug on them too! What a nice bonus!  Thursday our old friend we have known since seminary days came by.  His dear wife died last November.  He stayed in his 5th wheel Thursday night and then Friday morning Dan and Joel went for a bike ride.  It was great to see him again.

Joel was planning to take off this week and ended up with 3 in the hospital and a funeral.  Best laid plans..........  Still, we got in a trip to the Twin Cities in MN and a visit with Dan.  Yesterday we headed to the cancer center here and got things set up for chemo to start next Friday.  I will be getting a port put in next week hopefully.  And so it begins..........I already ordered one head covering for when the hair goes, and I am getting some ginger/peppermint oil mixtures together for the nausea. My brother-in-law used this combo for nausea when he had chemo and it helped him greatly.  We have to take a "chemo class" on Monday to get us prepared.  Looking at the warnings and information given about the drugs that I will be given is very scary.  Good thing God is fighting for me.

I saw that Mayo Clinic just published a study that shows having a dog is very beneficial for people's heart health.  Isn't that great?!  On that note, we struggle with not having a dog anymore. They are a lot of work and if you travel?  But we miss having a pet.  They do bring an added blessing to their human families.  Pretty sure God planned it that way!

I have been reading another fiction book by Dave Rosenfelt this past week.  As a mystery writer, he always has a dog or two involved in his plots.  The more I read his books, the more I want a dog! Oh boy!  What are you reading?

Sunday, August 18, 2019

Mayo, "Med City", and Moments with God


It was early Friday morning and Joel and I had come down to eat breakfast in the small dining area of the hotel where we were staying in Rochester MN.   Joel was off getting food while I sat at our corner table.  There was one couple to our left and across from us was an older man with his two adult daughters, would be my guess.  The man said quietly, let's pray.  They joined hands and prayed for their loved one who was in the hospital....asking for healing, for Jesus to be with her during surgery, for no viruses to attack her body.  I quietly closed my eyes and silently added my Amen.  The woman on my left got up and went over to their table and said, "Thank you.  You blessed me too."  I chimed in, 'YES!  I am blessed too."  One of the daughters got up, came over and laid hands on me saying, "Bless you." This encounter brought with it peace.  God had provided just what I needed before we headed to my appointments at Mayo Clinic.  He was with us every step of the way.

I also noticed that the couple on our left prayed before they ate just as we did.  Our little corner of a small dining area in a hotel in "Med City" was calling upon God that morning.  Three families knowing where there help comes from.  It made me smile.  Such a divine moment from God.

My two appointments went very well.  The Fellow working with the oncologist I was seeing spent two hours with us, explaining, answering questions, examining, and encouraging me.  He and the oncologist had a plan for me and what would work for my body.  We came out of there feeling peace and relief.  I will be having chemo, a lower dose every 3 weeks for 4 cycles.  They will call my current oncologist because they would like it done here, close to home.  Hopefully it will start ASAP.

We ate lunch in the large cafeteria and then walked through the subway level over two blocks to my next appointment.  We sat in a lounge outside of the clinic I was to go to next.  Joel went inside to check if we were in the right area,  and then came back out to sit with me as we were way early.  Soon we heard a voice say, "I thought I recognized that cowboy hat!"  A woman from our former church in our current town was standing there.  Her husband was getting treated for a recurring cancer and she had been in the waiting room when Joel went in to check.   We visited awhile and then her husband came out so we talked with him too.  He encouraged me to be treated at Mayo and talked about the newer radiation that he was being treated with called proton radiation.  We prayed together before we headed inside and they left for home.  Another God moment.

My appointment with the radiology oncologist was about 1 1/2 hours long.  The Dr. had a student get general info but the doctor spent the entire time with us explaining, asking questions, examining, and answering our questions.  Very thorough again.  Turns out he wants to use the new proton treatments for me also.  He wants to avoid damage to the heart, lungs, thyroid, and upper nerve in chest wall.  This kind of radiation is only done at two places in America.  Mayo Clinic Rochester and in Chicago.  This would mean we would have to spend 5-6 weeks in Rochester during the week.  The American Cancer Society has a lodge where you can sign up to stay.  We will move forward with this treatment after the chemo.  Both the plans given to me at Mayo are different than the plans brought forward in our cancer center here, but we feel at peace about Mayo due their experience and expertise.  Going to Mayo was definitely a blessing.

It is a long journey ahead, but we heard words, heard treatment plans that will give me the best advantage to this being "curable".  Their words.  We felt so blessed to have two great doctors, one a Fellow and the other the radiologist who were excellent, kind, caring, and very knowledgeable.  We  know we cannot rely on these "chariots and horses" for my healing, but we can trust God who is using the medical world and these doctors and treatments to give me what I need to live and to live well.  Thank you all for adding your prayers to our journey.  They carried us through the day!  We are grateful.

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Chariots and Horses



God likes to speak to me in "videos" that play out in my mind.  When I sit back, close my eyes and ask God to be present, ask Holy Spirit to speak to me in a "vision", He often does so.  Sometimes it is just one snapshot and other times I see scenarios that play out.  This is one of the ways He speaks to me.  I love it.

A few weeks ago Joel and I sat quietly and asked God's presence to fill the room.....for Holy to show us what He wanted us to see and know.  I immediately saw a big horse with an unusual coating of gold, like caramel.  This horse was not the Palomino that I see at times, it was more like a Clydesdale draft horse.  In the vision I walked up to the horse and then walked around it.  As I did so I noticed a chariot....very ornate and covered in gold.  I walked around the chariot pondering how it looked.  Immediately I saw a Roman type soldier covered in armor and head gear which was shiny and gold in color.  I then heard "Some trust in chariots and horses (but we trust in the Lord our God)."  I immediately knew that the chariots, horses and soldiers represented the doctors, treatments, and procedures, tests, surgeries, etc. that were filling up my daily life.  What did it mean?  Certainly we had seen healing come through the power of prayer alone, and we have seen healing come from surgery in the past.  What was God saying here........

I googled the words I had been given and up came Psalm 20:7  so I began reading this verse in several translations.   In the NIV it says,

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, 
but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."
Psalm 20:7 NIV

One translation that stood out for me was from The Passion Translation of the Bible......

"Some find their strength in their weapons and wisdom, 
but my miracle deliverance can never be won by men.  
Our boast is in the Lord our God 
who makes us strong and gives us victory."
Psalm 20:7,8  TPT


At first I wondered if I was to let go of all those tools available to me in the medical world, but after  thinking about it and praying over it, I did not feel that is what the vision meant.  I reached out to a dear friend who hears from God in many ways, and she shared with me her/their thoughts on what God had showed me.  It confirmed what I felt Holy telling me.  The chariots, soldiers, and even the horses were coated in gold....God's color.  They are valuable to my recovery.  BUT I cannot trust in them alone.  We trust in God who uses men and their "tools".  That is where our strength and miracles come from!  Jesus the Healer!  Jehovah Rapha!



Some pretty tough words have been spoken over and to me by my doctors here and now I will be heading to Mayo Clinic in Rochester MN for appointments Friday with first a medical oncologist and then an oncology radiologist.  I expect we will hear more words that could discourage us or bring fear into the equation.  We are hoping for the best of course, but preparing for the other side of the coin also.  What we need to remember is that God walks with us...He fights for us! 

I don't begin to understand why God healed the Lyme through prayer and the cancer through doctors.  I don't begin to understand why a completely different cancer invaded my breast or why it was in the nodes when the turmor was drastically reduced from the meds.  I don't begin to understand this battle for my life when prayer has been our most important tool in our toolbox.  I don't have answers for any of those questions, but I do have God speaking to me continually about fighting my battles.  I do hear Him telling me to trust Him in this season of my life.  And if He wants me to use "chariots and horses and men in armor I will do so, but never without prayer and the knowledge of where my healing comes from.  I will be trusting the outcome to Him.

We would love your prayers as we head to Mayo Clinic........for the doctors to have the wisdom.....for us to have the courage..... for however God directs you to pray.  Recently I heard Kris Vallotton say that we need to P.U.S.H. forward with prayer.....Praying Until Something Happens.  I also heard another pastor say that every time we pray something happens!  Prayer is a mighty weapon as we fight the battles that come.   We thank you for yours!

Friday, August 9, 2019

The Simple Things


Our resident rabbits live behind these hostas
under our deck.  Lunch is a couple hops away!

Good Friday to you from yet another beautiful week of dry warm weather here in north Iowa.  Today we have the windows open, and a gentle breeze is pushing out the stale air and refreshing what we inhale inside the house.   I can hear a lawn mower in the distance, and crows have gathered in our backyard.  Our resident rabbits have been sunning themselves below our living room window.  A squirrel ran across the roof much earlier, which happens almost daily.  I have decided that must be his early morning routine....jogging across the roof, leaping into the trees and then scurrying across the ground.  What a workout!

Last night we took an evening stroll down to the river and walked along the road.  It had been a long time since I could manage this, and I felt like the river welcomed be back with it's rushing water saying hello!  We saw two owls flying through the near dark sky, and one lone man rose up from the river bank and walk slowly up the path behind us.  We stopped to take in the views and smells, grateful for the chance to do something so normal.

That is where my gratefulness lies lately......just doing that which is normal.  Cleaning the bathroom, making blueberry cobbler, ironing a shirt, watering the plants, walking down to the river.  Just taking in the blessings and letting go of the limitations that have held me captive for so many months.  We will delve back into the world of doctors next week, but the past couple of weeks have been mostly a vacation from all that ails me.  So thankful.

With the turmoil and heaviness in our country right now, perhaps we all need to take time "to smell the roses".  And if you don't have roses....how about petunias, violets, fresh cut grass?  Just sit quietly and soak it in.  All the beauty God has created for us to enjoy.  The simple things, uncomplicated by conflict and negativity.  Maybe you have your own squirrel who does a morning workout......or a rabbit that feeds on your hostas.  Maybe you have flowers to view that fill your world with color.  And I am sure we all have some daily "mundane" tasks to accomplish.  When you do your thing as your job, when you scrub, sweep, fold, or shine at home......give thanks that you have the energy to do so.  A privilege.

Love these flowers....purple Mexican wedding plants

Enjoy your Friday.  Seek the grace to be found in another day here on earth.  Look around, listen, and soak in this day that the Lord has made.  Abundant with the sounds and smells of nature in August.  Oh, we are so blessed!


Sunday, August 4, 2019

The Heavens Weep


I woke up today thinking about the mass shooting at a Wal-mart in El Paso TX yesterday where families were school shopping.  Another domestic terrorist went into a busy area filled with innocent men, women, and children, and began taking their lives with a powerful weapon.  The reason is still being investigated, but it is being called a hate crime.  Soon after waking, I read online that yet another mass shooting occurred in Dayton Ohio overnight.  And last Sunday it was a festival in Gilroy CA.  And before that?  And that?  According to what I read, there have been 22 mass shootings in 2019 so far.  It is overwhelming.

I am so weary of reading about the mass shootings. I am so weary of hearing the arguments, political or personal that do nothing to solve the problem we have in our country with violence and hate.  When God''s creations, His own children, are murdered in the name of hate, racism, anger, and more, the Heavens weep.  Jesus was clear on how we are to treat others.  His message has not changed since it was written in the most important book ever.  The Bible tells us clearly to love one another, forgive one another, care for one another.  Jesus told us the most important commandment of all was to LOVE one another.  And it begins at home.  It begins in our hearts.  It begins with what comes out of our mouth.  There is serious power in our words.

Our family is multi-racial.  We were blessed to adopt children who brought with them a variety of backgrounds.  Chinese, Filipino, Hispanic, African American, Northern Cheyenne.  Our grandchildren are a beautiful blend of these ethnicities along with Korean, Norwegian, Danish, French, Irish, English, and more.  We are so proud of our "rainbow family" as Joel's Aunt Ruth used to call us.  And members of our family have been told "go back to where you came from" in one way or another, have been called derogatory names, been bullied, and mistreated by children and adults alike.  It saddens me greatly.  And the power of those words spoken hurts our family.  And it should hurt you, too.  And the violence and death of so many in our country?  It hurts you too.  What is said and done to others affects us all.

It sickens me when I read and listen to Christians speak hate, prejudice, and bias over others who do not look like them, live like them, believe like them, agree with them.  I don't see that there is just one answer to America's problems with violence and hate.  I certainly don't hold the answers, but I do believe that if each of us not only believe in Jesus but follow Him and truly become more "Christ-like" as the Bible says,  we will be led to live out God's commandment to love one another.

We are called the greatest country in the world for many reasons, one of which is our diversity.  I don't want "the greatest country in the world" to become the worst place to live due to the violence and hate that is spewed out over the country, the cities, our communities, us.  On days like this I turn to Jesus, and I can only ask for mercy on our country, on the loved ones of those who died.  On all of us. 

Today let's bend our knees in prayer.  God be with us all.

Saturday, August 3, 2019

Saturday's Scribbles



Good Saturday to all of you from our corner of Iowa where we have stepped into August with a beautiful week of dry, comfortable weather.  Having the A/C off and the windows open has been delightful.

Speaking of A/C, we are very grateful for it, having gone without it for most of our married life.  We never lived in a parsonage where A/C had been installed, but many had it installed after we left.  We just were not demanding enough I guess!  I can remember one awful hot summer night in Zimmerman MN where Joel went out on the deck and slept on top of the picnic table to get some kind of breeze.  He preferred the mosquitoes to the heat!  When we lived in Montana it was not a big deal as it always cooled off at night and the air was so dry, making it easy to deal with.  Again I remember painting a bedroom one summer day, thinking...."wow, I am sweating, must be a little warm out.  It was 103 degrees~such a difference when humidity is below 20%.   Ahhhhhh the good ol' days.

Speaking of Joel, he had a routine colonoscopy this past Thursday.  Why would I share that?  Because he had me shaking my head by his continual announcement when he was coming out of the sedation.  My brother-in-law Danny was with us and we had to chuckle over his continue message..."I want a hamburger!  Burget!  Burger!"  He would not remember he had already mentioned that he woke up craving a hamburger and would doze off and then bring it up again.............and again...........and again!  The thing is, we don't eat beef at home, maybe 2x a year.  We don't really like the taste or texture that much.  Joel would much rather have Mexican food that a beef burger but he woke up craving a burger so when we left the hospital Danny went in to McDonald's and got him a Quarter Pounder with Cheese.  Once Dan got him settled in his recliner at home he ate his burger and then slept for a few hours!  Of course he remembers eating the burger but thought he ate it in the car!  Later he mentioned how weird it was that he just had to have a hamburger!  Yep.  Weird.......The mind does strange things when messed with.

This morning we went to the local library where I picked up a few more mysteries by Dave Rosenfelt and Sarah Graves.  I find it fascinating how Rosenfelt can bring humor into a mystery that will make me laugh out loud.  He has actually written a non-fiction book called, "Dogtripping" about his adventures with their 25 rescue dogs when they brought them in a RV from California to Maine where they moved.  Great stories to share!  I am reading one of his fiction books titled "Unleashed" now.  What are you reading?