Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday to you from our corner of the world where mild weather has been welcomed by those of us in the upper Midwest.  Today we are supposed to hit the mid 40's!  So unusual for this time of year, with Christmas just 4 days away.

Speaking of Christmas, we are looking forward to seeing most of our family the weekend after when they gather at our home.  It will be wonderful to hug on them all!  Christmas will be as usual, the two of us, but thanks to an adjustment in my treatment schedule at Mayo we will get to be home for both days instead of in a hotel.  Yay!

Speaking of Mayo yesterday was filled with appointments before my first treatment at 4 pm.  I was so anxious about the face mask, but it is less tight after they removed the shims that were placed behind my head orginally when they were shaping it to me.  I listened to contemporary Christian music during the time I laid in wait for the beam to reach our treatment room.  The treatment does not take long, it is the waiting, 30 to 45 minutes, as one machine is used for 4 treatment rooms.  This machine is three stories high and the beam goes the length of a football field.  Proton radiation.....look it up.

As we traveled to Rochester yesterday morning I asked God to send us moments that would brighten our day and remind us of His Presence.  He did not disappoint.  We first entered one desk area just in time to see a man "graduate" from his treatments by ringing a loud bell.  His wife and children were there and cheered him on!  It was touching.  Then the woman we saw about a research study was so nice and helpful, even walking us to our next appointment. They often go above and beyond at Mayo.  Later I had 6 tubes of blood drawn, and the nurse was again so nice and chatty.  When we were waiting for my appointment to see another nurse who would apply a thin special film on my skin to help protect it for treatment, we watched as another woman was cheered by her family as she went in for her last radiation treatment.  Joel said later (when I was in treatment) she also rang the bell and around 10 people surrounded her cheering her on.  Brings tears to write about it!  While we waited for my treatment, a volunteer offered to give me a hand massage.  I did not think it would relax me but it really did!  Then there was Oscar, one of the proton radiation techs who came for me, walked me through the first treatment and helped during the treatment.  This young man was gentle, kind, and relaxed which relaxed me.  And I can't forget the young woman in her early twenties with her bald head, waiting with me to go to her own proton treatment.  So young to be going through so much.....but with a smile on her face!  ALL of these moments provided by God  to remind us that He is in the midst of each and every person's journey.  That He is always with us.  It helped make our day better!!

This coming week is a roller coaster ride with treatment times from 7am the earliest and 9pm the latest, Christmas arriving, lots of traveling for us, and then our family coming.  We are in hotels or at home until we get a spot at Hope Lodge in Rochester.  It is established by the Ameriacan Cancer Society.  We are learning that we need to be flexible when it comes to this journey at Mayo.  Things change.  Alot.  Still, we find them very efficient, caring, and helpful wherever you go.

Something that does not change is our Lord and His faithfulness.  About a week ago I was talking to God and told Him I wanted to be obedient and follow Him where He led me...........I immediately saw in my mind Jesus take my hand and to my surprise walk me into the radiation room and have me lay on the table.  He stood by my left side and put is hand on my shoulder.  I knew he was telling me to follow Him through radiation and that He would always be there with me.  Then the night before we left for Mayo my sister Jan texted me and said that Jesus would be sitting right beside me through the treatment!  She knew nothing of my vision......I know her words were a reminder from God that Jesus was there in the room and all would be well.  "The Lord is fighting for you, you need only to be calm."

So, for all of us let us remember to be calm, and to be aware of the moments God provides for us no matter our circumstances.  Yes, let us be still and look around us, because especially this year, as Max Lucado said in a powerful message he wrote, "We need Some Christmas this Christmas".  That needs to be our focus.  Christmas and the Christ Child.

Enjoy your weekend!

Joy In The Waiting

So this week the Advent candle represents joy.  There is a favorite Bible verse for Joel that speaks of joy.  It is found in Nehemiah 8:10. 

Joy.  Joy runs deeper than happiness.  Happiness is fleeting, momentary.  Joy comes from deep within and is a choice.  In the midst of any circumstances we can still lock our eyes on Jesus and muster up joy.  Joy in knowing what we know.  That Jesus is our Savior, our Healer, our Protector, our Strength.  When we choose joy that comes from our Lord, we receive his strength.  During this season of waiting we choose joy.  Knowing what we know, believing what we believe.  Receiving what we receive from our Lord.......joy to the world the Lord has come!

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday to you from our corner of the world here in Iowa.  It has been a mild week weather wise, although the temperatures have been on their own roller coaster......December has it's own way of doing things.

Speaking of December, it has been a quiet week medically, except for a few phone calls, physical therapy sessions, and one trip to the doctor for yet another infection.  We got the list of times for my radiation treatments and were pretty happy that night time treatments were few and far between, and then they called and told me they are tentative times!  We do know for sure the 20th will be the first along with a few other appointments.  One day at a time, right?

Our son Matt came up yesterday for another visit.  To my delight he set up Britbox on our smart TV for a year.  My Christmas present from him and the family.  Yay!  I have been eying that channel for awhile.  We do enjoy British TV and we definnitely enjoy having our son come to visit!

We decorated the tree early this week and Joel and I made a triple batch of pumpkin bread on Wednesday.  It freezes nicely and it is a tradition to make it and send it home with our kids after our family gathering.  One year it is on Thanksgiving and the next the first weekend after Christmas.  As the years go by it is harder to get all of us together at one time, but we stay hopeful.  We don't plan on too much baking this year, but I plan to bake one of my husband's favorites.....cinnamon logs made mostly with butter and sugar.  Delish!

Thanks to the creation of gift cards and online shopping, we managed to get most of our Christmas shopping done in a couple of hours on Thursday.  There are times I miss looking for those special gifts for each person, but energy and time are limited this year for sure.  And speaking of limited, Joel and I cannot come up with a Christmas list for or from each other.  We like opening gifts on Christmas morning but when you don't have a list of wants or needs that can be purchased?  I expect it is partly due to age and partly do to circumstances.

Once again another week has passed with little reading getting done on my part.  I did get out around 90 Christmas cards/newsletters and could mark that task off the to do list.  I have always enjoyed writing letters and cards.  We enjoy hearing from others and look forward to the mail arriving during the month of December.

We hope your month of December is going well.  Whether you are dealing with a packed schedule or wondering how to fill your lonely days, I pray you find God's peace within, and deep joy in expressing gratitude.  I am so grateful this week for time with Matt, texting with kids, a decorated tree, laughter with Joel, devotions that resonate, Christmas music, and catching up with friends and family through the mail.

Shalom Calms The Chaos

The second Sunday of Advent we light the candle of Peace.   I could use just a little more of that.....couldn't we all......and it is available  right there in front of us as we ponder the birth of our Savior.  He is Peace.  Shalom comes from the One who is Shalom.

I recently read on Facebook Dr. Brian Simmons thoughts on Psalm 34:14 and the meaning of the word Shalom within this verse.

" This word here in the Hebrew means much more than peace.  It is wholeness, wellness, well being, safe, happy, friendly, favor, completeness, to make peace, peace offering, secure, to prosper, to e vicorious, to be content, tranquil, quiet and restful.  The pictographic symbols for the word shalom actually reads, "Destroy the authority that binds to chaos".  Also  in noun form it means to "restore".

Yeah.......it pretty much covers it all.

I heard Bill Johnson say today that he and his wife Beni have worked hard to keep their home a house of peace.  Enter in peace, live in peace.  Unless it was urgent, the stresses of the day were not discussed and conflicts were not hashed out until a chosen time when they could sit down together and in a calm manner share with each other.  They were intentional in keeping chaos out of their home.

I have prayed often for our house to be a place of healing and peace. This past year it has been easy to give chaos a place of residence as so many surprises and unwanted concerns popped up.  It is more a feeling of being unsettled or just plain fearful of what is coming.  I know I am not alone.  We do have a choice though.......

This morning I peeked over our upstairs railing to see the tree lights on and the fireplace glowing.  My hubby was in his recliner covered with a wool afghan, dozing.  He was a picture of peace...shalom.  He is so good about taking time to embrace the moments....making the most of His Presence.  Making the most of the good we can find in every day....even before the sun rises. 

During Advent we are reminded that Peace comes in the manger.  And that baby in the manger?  Lives in us,  Peace is within no matter what chaos shakes up our world.  I wish you peace.  I declare peace over you.  I give you the word Shalom and all it means in the Hebrew.  Let every breath inhaled be Shalom and every breath exhaled release that which unsettles.  In Jesus peace reigns.

John 14:27 speaks clearly His words..........

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. 

 I do not give to you as the world gives. 

 Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday to you from our corner of Iowa where snow is scarce and today's high will be in the 40's before Canada sends a winter blast our way.  Most of our snow is long gone so Joel has been able to get out to walk some days.....and I have walked for a short distance.....really short.....out in the fresh air.  Oh, it smelled so good! 

Our house is decorated for Christmas, with a tree in the corner and a few decorations around the main living area.  The Christmas newsletter is written and I am getting a few out every day.  Joel had the outside lights on in mid November, but we did not turn them on until the day after Thanksgiving!  There is nothing like lights or candles to bring a smile to your face and joy to your heart, right?

On November 25th I saw the radiology oncologist again.  What I thought would be 1 appointment was 4!  The last was a "CT simulation therapy" session which should have taken 30-45 minutes and took 2 hours.  They were trying to figure out how I could lay for up to 45 minutes with my arms above my head.....after all the lymph node removal that was not happening so they are using a special prototype they created for people like me and my arms will be below the chest wall level so radiation can get to where it needs to.  I also have to wear a mask on my face to keep it in a certain position.  They put a hot silicon material over my face with openings for eyes, nose, and mouth.  Then it cools and as it cools on your face in shrinks to fit tightly.  Did I mention tightly?  To my surprise after about 15 minutes I started to get very anxious and had to talk myself out of panicking.  And I thought this part of the journey would be easier?  

I will be starting proton radiation about 10 days later than I thought, on Dec. 20th.  This will be a Christmas where this quote will definitely come into play...."Christmas is what you make of it."  I am one month out of chemo and still having some side effects.  The most challenging is the pain and weakness in my muscles.  Improvement is slow but it is coming.  For so long I could not get up the stairs without Joel's support or stand in one position for more than a couple minutes.  It was slow and difficult, but healing is coming more and more.  One ineresting side effect is my nails.  On my feet they plain hurt.  My fingers?  Have deep ridges around the half moon moving out.....looks like one ridge for every chemo treatment!  The nails tear easily too, and hurt at times.  Eye still funkier, still having therapy for scar tissue, dealing with some numbness in fingertips and toes, and energy level is too dang low BUT  baby steps....baby steps.  One day at a time!

Speaking of one day at a time, Joel is transitioning into his 4th "retirement" of not working.  He is busy catching up on office work and house needs.  He is not good at sitting around.  I watch him run up and down our stairs, work in the yard, kitchen, or office and I am envious of all his energy!  There is great benefits in staying active.  The body responds to it with better health!

Yesterday I was surfing on the TV and stopped briefly on the Hallmark Channel....Joel got up from the chair and said, "I am going to the office.  I cannot tolerate another Hallmark Christmas movie right now!  Giggle....They have been showing them 24/7 since October and it is too much!!!  We are going to get set up for BritBox TV.  I love British TV shows and there are so many available with BritBox.  Do any of you have it?  

I saw the sweetest segment on TV and Facebook this week.  A young boy was being adopted and had to go to court with his new family for the final decree.  His whole kindegardent class came to the courthouse for it!  They held up hearts on sticks  and cheered when the judge decreed this lttle guy officially had a new forever family.  So great to see!  It took me back to when we went to court for our son Kevin's adoption finalization.  We all went along and celebrated at Dairy Queen.  Everyone could order whatever dessert they wanted which was a big deal in our financially strapped family.  

I find myself rambling, so will end this little chat with gratitude for your friendship, love, and prayers  Gratitude for lights, decorations, trees, Christmas music, and the color red!   Enoy your weekend....

Pitching My Tent

"I am glad from the inside out, ecstatic.  

I have pitched my tent in the land of hope."

Acts 2:26  Message Bible

It is the the middle of the first week of Advent, a time that we are focusing on hope.  H.O.P.E  And don't we all need a little hope in our lives.  Hope for today, hope for tomorrow.  Hope for the coming of a baby.  Hope for healing.  Hope for a miracle.  And isn't God the God of miracles?!  Isn't the birth of a Savior, our Savior, a miracle? 

When I read this verse, I cannot say that I am feeling really glad from the inside out, or ecstatic in any way.  Just saying.......but I have pitched my tent in the land of hope.  During the storms of life, that tent needs some deep stakes to stay upright.  It shakes and the tent flaps whip about in the wind and rain, but faith keeps it grounded.  I visually can see myself pounding those stakes in hitting each one harder and harder, deeper and deeper.  And with metal hitting metal hope rises and faith is strengthened. 

Maybe what Ann Voskamp says holds some truth.  "Hope isn't about thinking something will get better.  Hope is about believing Someone better is already here"  We have the privilege of knowing the end of the story of Christmas.  Of knowing about the baby born in a manger, the son of God and of man.  A carpenter's son and yet God's only Son with three years of ministry that healed the sick, cleansed the lepers, brought the dead to life, cast out demons and offered eternal life for all.

Hope sustains.  Life may be challenging, but because of Jesus we can keep our tent pitched in the land of hope., knowing there is hope for today, and in the waiting for tomorrow.  Knowing there is hope for eternity.