Saturday's Scribbles

 

Good Saturday to you on our last weekend in October.  A beautiful day here in northern Iowa with temperatures forecast for 55-60 degrees before a cold front moves in.  There is a chance of seeing the Northern Lights tonight here due to a solar flare.  Having lived so many years in six different places in Minnesota where the lights are more common,  we have missed the beautiful Aurora borealis, and are hoping tonight is the night for us "southerners" in the upper Midwest to get a glimpse of them.  

Speaking of glimpses, deer have been coming through this week.  We had one yearling settle down right outside our living room window one morning for a half hour rest.  This morning Joel watched a buck meander on through the neighbor's yard.  We have noticed a lot more geese flying in formations too.  Fall.......

Speaking of fall, this past Monday Joel was able to accomplish his long time goal to ride the trails around Lanesboro MN again.  He drove 2 hours to his destination and then rode 35 miles enjoying mostly a solo ride, as few riders were out on a weekday or this late in the year.  He then drove the two hours home, tired but happy.  He has managed a couple of local rides, and a lot of wood project work this week. Once a month he meets with his colleague group that has been together for 24 years.  Pretty amazing that that many pastors have stayed in the area churches....a couple pastors are retired now and Joel is the oldest.  He has thoroughly enjoyed the group...it is a safe place to go and share and encourage and be encouraged.  Just the same 5-6 guys getting together to nourish their souls and of course eat lunch at their favorite places!  A good thing.

I have had a week where my body has demanded more rest.  Not where I want to be, but trying to be ok with it.  This morning I did make some homemade honey whole wheat bread with our Sunrise Mill "special" flour. I seem to digest it much better than regular whole wheat.  Joel grew up with homemade bread as a staple, and during the early 80's I made all our bread with a Bosch bread mixer making it a lot easier.  Now, it is more of a treat, although it is quick to put together with a mixer and dough hook!  I do enjoy the crust/heel of the loaf warm from the oven with a little butter and apricot fruit sweetened jelly!

I wrote a post this week on breast cancer awareness and my own journey.  My sister Janelle sent me a site that talks about research that shows that those women with dense breasts benefited much more from an abbreviated MRI's than mammograms.  An abbreviated breast MRI can see the dense breast tissue in ways a regular or 3D mammogram cannot, making detection earlier.  I believe it would have made a difference in how soon I was diagnosed the second time around.  Prevention is the best cure of all.

Joel and I went shopping this week at a Christmas Open House in a local store that carries all kinds of fun and unique decor.  lt was nice to get out and of course we found a good deal on a Fall decoration (40% off) and a Christmas decoration (20% off your highest price item).  Always like a good deal!  We headed to Joann Fabrics too, where I purchased a new mask to "match" anything navy or denim that I wear, cuz that's important to accessorize and for me a mask is just a necessary accessory right now.

Picture of new Fall tin I purchased.

BTW:  the wooden walking cane behind

 the chair was purchased in the Philippines 

in 1975 and has caribou bone inlays.  

Harvest blessing!

My sister Jan flew to her and her hubby's winter home today and I found myself praying for them to be safe.......not unusual..........but to be safe from any people who get angry quickly over the littlest things.  This week another flight attendant was injured when a man punched her in the face and broke bones......yes broke bones in her face.  People like that need to be banned from flying.  Period.  No excuse.  So, like I said, I not only pray for Jan and Lanny to have safe travel with planes but with people.  Sad state of affairs we are in.  Warning bells are going off every day for us in malls, in work places, on airplanes, etc.  How disappointed Jesus must be at times. 

We had planned to get our Moderna boosters later this week but realized we were heading to Mayo on Monday so thought we better wait.  Last time I had a fever and flu like symptoms for a few days and we don't want to have to cancel my appointment.  Looking forward to what Mayo has to say........well, mostly. 

The past couple of weeks Joel and I have been watching the show "Castle" on the Lifetime channel.  We had forgotten how much we enjoyed the show and how much humor was in it.  A detective show with humor?  Always a good thing in my way of thinking.....I actually try to avoid the beginning which will often show the murder or victim....and just watch the solving part.  We have tuned in to an Amazon Prime show on Britbox also.........kind of like a British House Hunters, but better.  You get to see alot of the United Kingdom's countryside and landscapes, which is fun.  What have you been watching?

So this week I am grateful for Joel's bike ride in MN, a cozy sofa when needed, new decorations for the house, good "deals", the show Castle that makes us laugh, walking 20-30 minutes most days and fresh air while walking, sweatshirts on a cool morning, homemade bread, deer visiting our yard, phone calls, texts, and pictures of grands,  warmer weather holding on, the possibility of seeing the Northern Lights, and so much more...........

Enjoy your weekend!

The Journey

 

As I watched a woman speak about her journey with breast cancer this morning on the Today show,  I was reminded once again of my own journey, and that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month.  There are over 300,000 women every year diagnosed with breast cancer, and one out of five are under the age of 49.  Those numbers are staggering.  And the answers to why are not forthcoming. With detection and treatments the number that die from this disease has gone down over the years, but there are just too many women...........too many.  

In my family, my mom, Gr. Jo, and my sister have all been diagnosed.  And of course me.  My mom was 70 and lived to be 92.  Gr. Jo was 60 and lived to be 87.  My sister's diagnosis was the "best case scenario" for breast cancer and she is cancer free for several years now.  My diagnosis of breast cancer at age 67 was said to have an "excellent prognosis" and yet just three years later l was diagnosed with a more aggressive and advanced form of breast cancer in the same breast.  As you know a double mastectomy and chemo and radiation followed. 

I have shared much of my journey here, but today when I heard other women, 20-30 years younger than me, talk about the hard journey beyond the treatments and surgeries, it brought to mind so much of what I, too, have and am going through.  One woman said, "Going through surgery and treatment is just the beginning for most. There is no roadmap." 

Being honest here, this past year has been very challenging with my reactions to the arimidex, the brain MRI, endoscopy and colonoscopy, and CT scan with contrast to "rule out" cancer for the "new" symptoms I experienced.  They are always looking and I am always holding my breath until the results come in.  And now one more challenge...........lymphedema....another chronic illness as a result of the treatments,  in a body that has fought hard to survive. 

Every day is different in how I feel physically.  Every day is different in the how medication affects me in body, mind and emotions.  Every day is spent with the reminders of what I have been through.  The scars, disfigurement, compression sleeves, meds and vitamin routine, exhaustion, and other side effects that ebb and flow are all a daily reminder.  

In the segment I watched today one young woman was diagnosed a second time now with metastatic breast cancer and yet she appeared so calm and at peace.  When asked about how she handled what was happening to her she said, "Cancer stole enough from me, I am not letting it steal anymore of my life."  

So, why do I share this today?  Because we women ( and some men) have a choice BEFORE cancer ever would come knocking.  GET a mammogram....a 3D mammogram.  And if any of us have a family history?  Get a MRI of your breasts.  Stay on the offensive because the sooner you are diagnosed, the better it is for us.  W need to take care of our bodies the best we can.  Friends, during October, of which few days remain, do something for yourselves.  Get examined.  Get tested.  Be proactive.  

Remember, breast cancer and the treatments don't just take from you..........they take from the ones you love, too.  Think about your family, your loved ones, your future and be proactive.

I am still learning how to live this life after BC.  After 4 battles with cancer, it is hard not to see it as a Goliath in my life.  But then David was a young teenage boy and took down Goliath with one smooth small stone.  The truth of that story is that David listened to GOD and trusted God to provide what he needed.  And He did.   Every day I wake up and decide how to live for the day ahead.  Don't we all?  Some days I live well, other days, not so much but I am working on not letting how I feel physically determine my level of joy for a new day.  AND I remember that I am never alone.   Cancer has taken away enough of my life, too, and yes, there may be no roadmap, but there is a guide as I move forward, as we all move forward in our journeys.  He is the One who is a "lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path, " and with Jesus I can live my best life.  We all can.  

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday to you from our corner of Iowa where Fall continues to grace us with all that comes with this season.  We have a beautiful colorful tree in our cul-de-sac that brings joy to all of us who live on this street!  Colorful leaves, geese gathering, squirrels getting their food supply stored up, the crisp morning air, warnings of overnight frost, our favorite tree, and the smells and sounds of Autumn ~ Love it.

Our neighbor took this photo of our 

neighborhood tree.  So beautiful!

Speaking of Autumn, we traveled back home from the cabin on Monday afternoon, stopping at the LaCrosse WI rest area where we could overlook the mighty Mississippi River.  So beautiful to view.  There are many parts of Minnesota we enjoy seeing, and this area with it's views of the Mississippi are at the top of the list.  

This weather has me thinking of puzzles.....so I took out one of the three new ones I purchased over the summer.  For some reason the colder it gets the more I think more about staying inside and working on a puzzle.  

This has been another week of tests, doctors and thankfully, good news.  On Tuesday I emailed "my team" at radiology oncology at Mayo for a referral regarding the Lymphedema.....and quickly received a phone call and within 1 hour I was given an appointment at their Lymphedema Clinic for November 1.  That is fast........although honestly I wish it was faster!  Things are not improving.   I saw the urologist on Tuesday afternoon....all looks the same.....on Friday I had a CT with contrast and just 3 hours later my doctor's office called to tell me the scan of my chest wall did not show any signs of cancer.  They were checking due to lymphedema.....just in case.  Also, my fractured ribs (from quite awhile ago) are healing.  Love good news!  

Joel is off to "gabby grandpas" this morning after we took an early trip to the grocery store.  He has been biking when he can, but it has been really windy.  He still is working on woodworking projects, getting a few Christmas gifts done for this year.  He did go walking with one guy at the mall on a particularly windy day.  I'm still walking 20-30 minutes a day and keeping busy with house stuff.  Day to day blah blah blah....  haha  We noticed that neither of us were into cooking much this week....oatmeal became the supper of choice more than once!

I watched a conference this week put on by Randy Clark and the Voice of the Apostles.  My friend Katherine from out east is there with two of her older children.  It is always good to soak in the words of God's servants.  I managed a podcast by Kris Vallotton and Ana Werner too.  Always a blessing to fill our souls with good things.  

Speaking of good things, yesterday when the nurse was getting my IV line in and ready she asked about my family...our family.  It got me thinking.  Today is one of those days I miss them soooooo much.  Once in a while I ponder what it would be like if we had lived in one spot ( instead of 23) and our children lived and worked where we live.  Even though our lonely days would be few and far between, our children have made such good lives for themselves, I could really not wish anything different for them. 

 Being in our seventies and having to deal with life threatening illness shifts your perspective a bit.  You treasure the days, the hours, the moments more.  What you have and what you make is not as important as who you love and whom you embrace.  God made us for relationships with Him and others. Treasure those......don't take them for granted.  I once asked Joel what he would do differently in his 40 years of ministry and he said, "I would have put my family before my calling more often than I did".  As you can tell, I am doing a lot of reflecting today.  Partly it is due to yesterday's CT results,  The last kind of cancer I had likes to show up in the chest wall.  As I waited for the results of the scan, I thought "The results of this one test could change our lives, our future".  (Been there, seen that.)  So hearing the good news, I am giving thanks often, wanting to reach out and hug our kids, in-loves, and grands.  Grateful for more time with them........for the "guide us" and  "what now, Lord's" that are ahead.  With family.  With others.

So, today, I am giving thanks for clear scans, good x-rays, kind nurses, Autumn, phone calls, texts and pictures, my loving, supportive husband, laughter, tears, our family, prayers of good friends, Dr. S. and his quick responses, our cul-de-sac neighborhood tree, a conference live stream, fall squash, a full fridge, a new puzzle and so much more...........

Enjoy your weekend!

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday to you from the north country, where we are waking up to a lake view on this bright and sunny fall day in Wisconsin.  We were hoping for a few more colorful trees this far north and we have not been disappointed.  Sitting in the living room of our oldest and her hubby's cabin, we are blessed to take in a beautiful picturesque scene before us.  It calms the soul.

early morning view

Speaking of calming the soul, Joel and I both felt the need for that after a roller coaster week with lymphedema challenges at rehab and in my body.  By Friday when rehab unexpectedly canceled my appointments for next week, we felt the need to "get out of Dodge". (An old Gunsmoke reference).  We decided to see what was available to us......and low and behold our daughter and son-in-law graciously said their cabin was free...."start packing".  We decided this at noon and by 2:30 were on the road.  It was not all smooth sailing and makes for a few funny stories to tell.

The first part of the drive was easy peasy...........then we hit construction.  No big deal just put us behind a half hour or so.  By this time I needed a bathroom and Joel needed coffee...........But my phone GPS had us going the "quickest" route, which turned out to be a lot of twists and turns through wooded areas on 2 lane roads.  No bathrooms.  No coffee.  Once we got on the main two lane road heading east we were good....but still no bathrooms or coffee. A local bar and grill was packed so we opted out of that.  We came to a town of about 900 people and thought surely there will be something.  There was...........a dingy little A-frame station.  I think the guy behind the counter was about as dirty and the bathroom I stepped into.  Desperation has you do desperate things and i covered the seat with tissue pretending not to see the dirty floor OR door I had just come through. Would it sound judgmental to say the clerk looked like he just got out of prison and was into illegal substances?!   I came out of there praying for protection from germs, Joel got  his coffee which turned out to be old and lukewarm but we kept going.  Here's the kicker!  Just 2 blocks further.......2 blocks...........and we saw a beautiful brand new Quick-Trip station!!!!!!  An oasis in the desert! Seriously?!?!?!?  

We headed to the cabin in the dark and were pretty proud that we found it on the first try!  Joel headed to where the keys were to be hidden.............and only one key was there.  It did not open the cabin.  Joel searched the hidden location and no other key.  We finally called our daughter who was in the middle of driving 20 confirmation kids to a retreat....so we called our son-in-law who was out east on business.  He made a couple of calls and told us the key was put back after the A/C guy had been there, so it must have fallen on the floor.  Joel spent the next half hour unloading the hidden area and searching the floor to no avail. Then another few minutes putting stuff away.  Another phone call had us in the car driving to their friends cabin on the other side of the lake where our son-in-law talked us into the house,,, we put a code into their side door and went inside where we were instructed to go to a place where spare keys were kept to each other's cabins.  Can I just interject here and say how weird it felt to "break in" to someone else's cabin and dig through a bunch of stuff to find the keys to our daughter and son-in-law's cabin???  And can I then tell you how grateful we were that they had spare keys for us?! I do confess that we were both more than a little tired after this mini crisis.....

This sign seems appropriate when we 

finally got in the cabin!

An hour and a half after arriving, we entered the cabin.  YAY!  When we finally got in we found the keys we were originally looking for on top of the fireplace!  Not exactly accessible from the outside and not where they were supposed to be!  The A/C guy.........Ha...... We sat down to a quick supper at 9 pm and then crashed for the night.  What a day!!

So today we woke up to a new day and we are really hoping that all the chaos and craziness is behind us for a few days. We are just grateful to be here.  The year itself has held too many challenges and a lake view just soothes the soul.

Last week and weekend our days were full.  First our oldest grandson came for a two day visit on his way back from Utah.  What fun to spend so much one on one time with our grown up grandson!  Then our middle daughter and her kids came and our house was full to the brim that night for sleeping.  Thursday our oldest daughter and son-in-law came, along with our second oldest son and his son, our grandson arrived and while we were at the wedding rehearsal our granddaughter arrived from college.  We came home to a full house and lots of chatter!  What fun!  They were all here because our youngest daughter got married,  and most moved to hotels Thursday night.  The wedding was outdoors at a beautiful country venue,  and the day was warm and beautiful!  There were a few last minute glitches just like at most weddings, but we are very happy for the newly married couple.  Praying for God to bless them on their journey together.

Sarah and Derek

As I look out over the lake this morning I am seeking that peace I see before me.....letting it soak in and soothe our weary souls.  I'm grateful today for that view, our youngest getting married, a new son-in-law, the option of heading to Mayo for the lymphedema, dappled sunshine, funny adventure stories, the generosity of our daughter and son-in-law, phone calls from friends and family, trees showing off their fall colors, crisp fall mornings, safe travels, laughter, tears, my amazing husband, hot coffee, white grape juice, country stores and so much more........

Enjoy your weekend!

Anyone Else Hearing the Fire Alarms?

 

So Joel was grilling burgers and we had everything else ready, so I stuck my bread in the toaster to toast.....and promptly forgot about it.  A bit later the fire alarm by the open stair case that goes either up or down went off.  We looked around, did not see any smoke, so Joel went downstairs to check the dryer.  Then the fire alarm in the dining room went off so now two were screaming alerts to us.  Joel ran upstairs and checked while I did a sweep of the main level.  Nothing.  Then the fire alarm in the kitchen went off and Joel checked the walls to see if they were hot before heading back into the kitchen.  He promptly said, "It is your toast!"  The toaster had not popped it up and it was very very burnt, and smelling enough to set off alarms in three rooms without us smelling it.  Since it started in the entry we did not think the problem was in the kitchen.  We were fooled by the alarm in the kitchen going off last.  After we got it taken care of I said, "Well, THAT was stressful and exhausting.."

It reminded me of other times in life where an alarm is going off, an alert to warn us but it takes awhile to figure it all out.  One simple example is this journey with lymphedema...I did not notice my upper arm slowly growing until I noticed my hand was puffy.  Then my arm drew my attention.  It was such a slow subtle growth it did not draw my attention until my hand alerted me..."Houston, we have a problem."  Stressful and exhausting.  Putting aside health or house issues, there could be other things in life that send out warning signals we may not catch right away.  I would say that one of those is the major issues with out government.  I am NOT speaking about the red or the blue here but how over many years things have slowly changed and become so divided, and half truths are thrown around by both parties, and those supposedly representing the people are more concerned about being reelected than being honest, and really caring about those they represent.  And lets not get started on how we expect our president to be our savior..........we already have one of those, His name is Jesus.  

Another subtle erosion of humanity is social media.  I think there is a lot of good in social media and I am on Facebook and Instagram.  I am careful what I read or watch, but it is not all bad to be connected.  Unfortunately it has also made it much easier to speak hate or division in such things as politics, science, and just how we do life.  Different opinions should be welcome, not trashed.  Again, a slow and subtle change caused a spiral down in how we treat each other.  It is a sad state of affairs we are in.  Stressful and Exhausting..

Most of what I have shared here is pretty negative, so where is the upside?  For sure there is one.  And it begins with us being more aware of what is going on around us, whether it is with something medical, political, social, or more.  It begins with seeking out the Word of God and what we can gather from the Bible to live a life filled with love and grace, forgiveness and peace.  I begins with how we treat each other, how we speak to each other, our neighbors, our community, etc.  And so much more.

Our fire alarms going off today were confusing at first, but eventually we figured it out. We are smart people created by an amazing God,  and we can figure out these other issues in our country too as we become aware and notice the "fire alarms" going off around us.  It's not too late. 

Today we are giving thanks for our fire alarms working so well..........and for our own inbuilt alarms that make us aware of what is happening around us, in us, and through us.  

Saturday's Scribbles

 

Good Saturday to you from our corner of Iowa where morning fog and clouds greeted us today.  The ground is coated with leaves after yesterday's "gust front" and we are seeing a lot more gold and orange in surrounding trees as the leaves began to change or let go.  It has been a week of beautiful weather except for a couple of days in the 80's.  I'm so over summer and ready for the crisp fall temps to take hold.....it may be awhile.

Speaking of "so over" and "may be awhile" this has been quite a week for this old body.  I have always been open about my journey with life and that includes health issue of which....I have had a few.  This week I was at rehab for lymphedema three times.  The first picture is of me on Monday...........the second picture is of me yesterday.  So here's the story.......I went in Monday and they "wrapped" my arm to bring down the lymph fluid in my hand, wrist, and arm.  It was cumbersome, and down right painful for me.  I live with chronic pain, especially nerve pain and the layers of wrapping and the firm foam used triggered high levels of pain which made for tough days and tougher nights with a few tears and lots of "I can do this!"   Anyway the fluid started going down in my hand and wrist right away which is good news.......but the therapist was concerned about the pain, and on Friday as we talked about the upcoming wedding she thought maybe we should try a compression sleeve for now with a hand glove.  Thus the second photo.  The pain levels decreased right away with the compression sleeve due mostly to the smoothness and less cumbersome padding, BUT the glove she had for me to try is too loose and my hand started filling with fluid again later on.......arm good, hand not so much.  We will see what Monday brings. At least right now I remove it at night and can shower then....and use my right hand to eat, scratch my nose when it itches and all the other stuff a right handed person does!  The breast cancer journey?  It is a "gift" that just keeps giving.......

Arm wrapped with foam, etc.

Compression sleeve and glove

Speaking of gifts, someone we knew and cared about went to be with Jesus on Monday.  He and his family were a gift to us when we moved to Medicine Lake Montana in 1980.  Roy and Cheryl are some of the nicest people we have ever met.  Roy was a big gentle giant of a man with, as his obituary described, "a heart of gold".  He was 75 when he died........way too young.  This week our family has been flooded with many memories about our short three years there with Joel as pastor of their three point parish.  We seldom made it back there to visit with life, too many responsibilities, health issues, etc. but we have never forgotten the people and the community.  Especially Roy and Cheryl and their two kids.  We spent a lot of time with the family and cannot help but feel their loss.  I know Jesus welcomed Roy home with open arm

Joel is off riding a bike trail about an hour north and east of us.  It is a trail that goes about 14 miles before he will turn around and head back.  It takes him through farmland, prairie land, woods and more.  He was planning on Rendezvous days in S. MN today, but Covid seems to have put a stop to that....his favorite event of the year.  It is still happening, it is just happening without Joel.  His usual bike trail is finally back in operation here too so he is getting out a bit more in-between getting me to therapy, picking up the slack because of my arm limitations, and preparing for the wedding.  

Speaking of the wedding, do you remember when I talked about my trusty sewing machine last week?  Vintage 1976 and never needing repairs?  Yeah......I am better off not speaking things out loud~ it broke the day after!  I managed to get done most of what I needed for the wedding but it is definitely in need of repairs.  I have also been walking, resting too much, reading, and watching too much TV.  Some days are like that.

So, this week I am grateful I can use my right hand to type today, grateful for fall colors, smells, and sounds, grateful for memories of a good man and wonderful family that shaped all our lives, grateful for Joel getting to bike a longer trail today, grateful for texting, phone calls, and emails, for our oldest son starting to feel better from a Covid breakthrough, for the power of prayer, for God's promises to hold on to, Hallmark movies (some days you just need a happy ending!), packages in the mail, and so much more..............

Enjoy your weekend!