Bend Your Ear

We met through an email group that was made up of Christians with Lyme Disease.  Over 500 in the group who prayed for each other.  At times several would engage in phone conference calls where we would fast and pray together.  I became closer to two young women; Katherine who is now a dear friend.  We actually met in person at a healing conference in CT in 2013 and have continued to stay close.  The other young woman I have stayed in touch with mostly through Facebook.  When Joel and I attended that healing conference at a Lutheran church in CT, we took a commuter train to NYC to visit all the sights,  While there we were able to meet in person with K.F. at Grand Central Station where we had a face to face visit.  What fun it was to get together and actually hug the person I had been praying for.

K.F. is a mom of two now and married to a doctor who happens to be from Sri Lanka.  A man who has stories about the prejudice against him, even in the hospital, white coat or not.  But I am not talking about the racism he experienced. It is not my story to tell.  What I do want to share here is the boldness and courage K.F. has shown as she shared on Facebook no less, her journey of recovery from severe ongoing sexual abuse throughout her childhood.  What struck me about her writing was how little we listen, truly listen to others.  Especially when it does not fit into our own beliefs or agenda or it makes us uncomfortable.  What impacted me was the courage with which she spoke out on social media, one of the most judgmental communities of all.

You see, as a child she did what we are told to do, she told someone what was happening to her.  She told many as best she could describe it....and no one listened.  No one believed her.  Finally in her senior year of high school, she told a friend and he told his mom and that mom stepped in.  The many years of abuse and lack of help brought K.F. to a place of rage and anger and it was not until after a lot of therapy and knowing Jesus as her Savior that her healing began.  And now she is a mom of two daughters....a wife, and a child of God.

I understand her emotional turmoil in not being listened to.  Someone important and close to me did not listen or reach out to me when my six year old self told them as I best knew how that I was being sexually abused.  I was told with such intensity to never speak of it again, that I did not.  I hid it from others and even from myself until I was 63 years old.

Listening.  We all want someone to listen to us, don't we.  To hear us.  To do their best to understand and just listen.  Our world is groaning now.  America as we knew it is imploding on itself and everyone has an opinion as to why.  In the past I have defended the media, attempting to find the most neutral place to gather information, but in the past couple of months I have come to realize that every news station is bias or looking out for what sells.  When did every newscast become "breaking news"?  One day I watched each and every news station to observe how they "spin the news" and believe me each one has their own spin.   It is so difficult to get beyond what sells to what we need to hear.  So the past 11 days Joel and I have turned off the TV from any news and our home has become a much more peaceful place.   But I digress.....

Listening.  How do we have a listening ear?  How do we weep with those who weep, support all who are in the middle of this turmoil we call 2020?   How do we seek truth?   And for those who need it, how do we become their listening ear?  How do we face the hard stuff so that little children who speak about what has happened to them are not ignored.    Maybe we start by listening to the little children.

Not too long ago as I was dusting, I was speaking to God about how I desired to have a more intimate relationship with Him and wanted to hear His voice more often, and I immediately heard Him say, "make more time for me".   So simple as His child.   Make more time to not only voice our needs, but quietly listen.....in His Word, in what He shows us, what He whispers to us....yeah.....make more time.  There are many ways to hear the voice of God.  A close friend uses journaling as a way to hear from God.   Sometimes He gives us rhema words, they just stand out when we read scripture.  Sometimes He uses the voices of others.  For me at times it is visions that come up in my mind.  Sometimes it is a "knowing" that comes for people.   God loves to communicate with us.

We can learn from God how to be a listening ear for a hurting world.  Right now.  Right here.  Because the whole world is groaning.  And ALL of God's children have a story to tell.  We need to just bend our ear and listen.

Again, The Message Appears

I listened to a story Bill Johnson, senior pastor at Bethel church, shared recently about an unusual way God spoke to him many years ago.   He had been struggling with whether he should write a book or not.  He was not getting any clear direction from God, until one night he woke up to hear God say, "Isaiah 30:8".  That is all that was said, but when Bill looked up the verse it said, "Go now, write it on a tablet for them......."  That was pretty straight forward.  Just to affirm this to Bill, when he went on a conference trip his first hotel room was #308.  So was the second in another city.  Coincidence?  Not in God's world.  He asked God what he was trying to tell him and when he got back home and looked at his schedule he realized that he was so busy traveling over the year that he had no time to write.  He adjusted his schedule so he could be obedient to God's command.............Go and write!

There are so many ways God speaks to us.  Through devotionals, other people, His Word that seems to just jump off the page.  Sometimes there is that still small voice that resonates inside, a "gut feeling", or a sense of peace that overcomes.  He is patient and He is persistent in His pursuit of us.  He loves to communicate with us although so often His ways are a mystery.

For two years now I have been getting Exodus 14:14 in devotionals, on a plaque from our oldest, in scriptures, on Facebook!  It has come so often without me looking for it that I have started asking God what He wants me to hear and know in this message.  Evidently I am missing something here!  The last one was online from Jesus Calling and spoke loudly to me personally.  The mystery is unraveling.

 "I will fight for you; you need only to be still.  I know how weary you are, My child.  You have been struggling just to keep your head above water and your strength is running low.  Now is the time for you to stop striving and let me fight for you.  I know this is not easy for you to do.  You feel as if you must keep struggling in order to survive, but I am calling you to rest in Me.  I am working on your behalf, so be still, and know that I am God."

I remember when we were going to buy a house in the late 90's.  Joel was really stressed about whether it was the right thing to do or not because of an unforeseen circumstance that popped up.  That night as I was reading Billy Graham's magazine, there was a story so similar to ours.  A house to buy, a circumstance that came up, second guessing a decision but eventually standing firm on buying their house.  For us that felt like God speaking and we moved forward in our purchase.  All went well.

Sometimes when God speaks it is clear and swift, other times it is a mystery we pursue knowing God is guiding us and we can trust Him in the process as we seek understanding of it all.  During this season and with this one verse relentlessly pursuing me, I will keep asking God just what all He wants me to hear.  To know.  To embrace.  And I will intentionally be still to hear from Him.

God loves to communicate with us on an intimate level.  He wants to speak to us, have us speak to Him. And He does give us ample opportunity.  Sometimes it is bold and clear, other times it is surrounded in mystery.  We need only trust Him to do what is best for us as we bend our ear to listen.

Trimming Trees and Attitudes

I was watching Joel trim trees today as he climbed up a ladder and used his tree trimmer to cut through small branches.  When he could not reach a few higher ones he went upstairs, took the screen off the window and went to work. 

This project was unearthed after last night when we listened to branches rub across the roof as high winds moved everything around that was not tied down.  Today turned out to be a good day to trim away the culprits before they did any damage to the roof or to our sleep pattern.  We kind like the 8 hours of sleep we manage most nights. 

It was mostly an easy fix, but it took effort, especially balancing out the window to get to the higher branches. At least Joel agrees to stay off our steep roof and leave those limbs to the professionals.  We also had someone come aerate our yard recently before Joel put seed down for next year.   It is all part of the fall work.  Soon we will wash windows one last time, mow one last time, and grill one last time before......Before.  Before winter comes knocking on our door.  Winter is not very welcome here by the two of us, but we will tolerate it.  Meanwhile we enjoy the beauty of fall.

Just like the trees, sometimes there are things we need to trim away in our lives.  Maybe it is a mindset.  Maybe it is an attitude.  A grudge.   Unforgiveness. God revealed to me last night that I need an attitude change.  That what is going on for us right now is not about me or us, but for others.  It is not always easy to trim away or remove what Holy reveals to us.   Trimming and cutting away takes some effort, but it is worthwhile o let go and let God. There is "work" to be done to prepare us for a better life, to help us be the best we can be according to God's plan for us and for others.  Today was a good day to trim trees and attitudes. 

Saturday's Scribbles: Radon What?

Our world was shaken up this past week.  We found out we have high levels of radon in the house.  A safe level would be 4 and under.  The average here was 10.  Sobering.  We have lived for 14 years with high levels of radioactive gas  .  It causes cancer among other health concerns. I have had three different kind of cancers since we moved here.  Any connection?  Possibly.  We are in the process of getting a mitigater to come and vent the gas outside.  Then our air will be safe aga

The journey to this latest Dahlen drama is a story that has to be shared.  A friend was here and was thinking about all the health issues I have had.  When she was thinking about it, God impressed on here that "She needs to get out of this house!"  She did not want to tell me what she had heard, but she felt God's presence so strong she knew she needed to tell me.  So she did, and I said we would definitely pray about it.

To be truthful, we felt it could be a spiritual problem.  I called another friend and asked her to pray.  She felt God impress on her the word, radon.  Radon?  Yes, radon.  She said, "I think you need to get your house checked for radon!"  She felt so strongly about it she actually called the county health dept. before coming by to pray with us.  The next day they called and the day after they set up their equipment in our home.  Two days later we received the news.  Like I said, sobering.  The good news though is that something can be done to remove it from the house.  

I share this story for several reasons.  One:  radon is everywhere.  Have your county test for it.  If it needs attention, get it.  Life is too precious not to do all we can to make our homes and our bodies healthy.

The second reason I share it is as a testimony of God's goodness.  He used two friends to relay an important message to us.  My health is being affected by the radon here and something needed to be done about it.

The third reason I am sharing this is to keep us aware of how God speaks to us.  Sometimes is is through a word someone gets, sometimes an impression.  Sometimes a physical presence comes with the words to let us know it is from God.  Other times he uses the words of others.  For me I often have visual encounters or God sends me things in threes.   God wants to communicate with us.  All the time.  We need only open our hearts and make the way open to Him.  

We are more than grateful that our two friends were open to hear from God and share the words from God with us.  Our house will be safe for us again and since we plan to sell in the future, it will make it a safe house for anyone who buys it and lives here.  God is good.  All the time.

Try Again

On our first Sunday in Redding CA we spent 11 hours at Bethel church with worship services in the morning and at night, a class called Firestarters, and an afternoon prophetic session with two amazing people, Joel and Lori.  Yes, another Joel!

The free prophetic session for the two of us lasted only 12 minutes but certainly gave our world a spin.  We had struggled to make the appointment, having to go online at a certain time of morning to sign up ~while we were traveling.  With God's whisper in my ear to "TRY AGAIN" after I was told the sessions were full, I went back online and we were able to sign up for later in the afternoon on the 10th.  Yay!  Some of what was said confirmed for us that these were words from God. God likes to let us know He is in the midst of our seeking.   It was life changing..........did I say that already?

The prophetic is not something that is always understood in our world.  Even though it is one of the gifts, and Paul tells the churches they are desire it before some others, it can be misunderstood.  Prophetic words are given for wisdom, encouragement and confirmation.We are not talking about prophets here, like Elijah or Jeremiah.  We are talking about those with the gift of prophesy. Prophetic words speak of the present and the future, releasing God's purposes.  It is described as God speaking to us through others with pictures and words. 

We have not shared with many people what we received, precious gems given to us for this season of our lives.  Yet even with the trusted few that have heard our session, reactions have been from excitement to amusement, indifference and a few" uncomfortables" in between.  I was pondering this when God reminded me that these specific words were not for others, they were and are for us.  They would not mean to others what they mean to us.  God was speaking to our hearts.

Pastor Bill Johnson from Bethel has a spiral notebook filled with the words spoken to and over him.  Years of promises from God that build and encourage him daily and provide hope. It is what compelled me to listen over and over again to our recorded prophetic session when another health issue surfaced.

Have you noticed how our world seems a bit off kilter?  It can be scary.  North Korea alone can make us shudder.  The suffering of others is heavy in the atmosphere around us....the air if filled not only with the ash of fires, but with the grief of others.  Hurricanes, floods, threats, destruction, and death.  It is during these times that we have a choice to focus on the "what ifs" or the "we know's". 

We are given the opportunity to quiet our souls and remember what God has spoken over and to us.  We know God promises to give us beauty for the ashes....We know that all things work together for good...  We know that God sent His Son...........We know that Jesus came so that we may have abundant life......... We know His Word says He will give us back our health and heal our wounds......We KNOW and can stand firm on whatever promises He has highlighted and whispered into our individual lives!   The promises that encourage and release hope. Keep your own list of promises from God.  The Bible is full of them.  Pay attention to what is spoken to you and over you. Just hearing "TRY AGAIN" opened a door to others sharing God's words for us.  Be bold, listen for God's voice, and let the words penetrate deep into your heart.  They bring beauty for ashes in a much needed world. 

Invitations From God

Last week we shared our healing stories with the community church group we are a part of.  They have been gathering for nearly 2 years, but we joined just last fall.  We were asked to share our stories, so we did!

Sometimes it is difficult to look back at those dark times in our life.  Especially when Joel and I were both so sick.  Sometimes I listen to the lies that have me running from what is already gone.  Fear can creep in when I look back on the wrong thing.  Yes, Lyme is evil.  The enemy uses it to kill, steal, and destroy, and it nearly destroyed both Joel and my lives.  But God!  Once we opened our eyes to the revelation of His Word on healing........everything changed.

I'll soon be reading and reviewing a book by Bonnie Gray, entitled, "Whispers of Rest".  Her first book, "Finding Spiritual Whitespace" has helped many people walk through difficult times.  Bonnie was a well educated and successful business woman who suddenly was controlled by panic attacks due to childhood trauma that surfaced.....but God had other plans.  God invited her to open her heart to healing and she stepped out into the more He offered and is now empowering others with what she learned on her journey.  Only God.

My friend Katherine was battling Lyme disease and the many antibiotics, supplements and herbs she was taking did not heal her broken body.  She listened to a teaching about God wanting us well, felt led by God, and took a bold step in obedience ~ throwing out the many bottles lining her counter, relying on prayer for healing.  She is now a mom of 5 beautiful babies, active in her church and community, and doing so well.  She opened her heart and her eyes to seeing God's Word in a new way..........and everything shifted.  She also shared her journey with us and for that we are eternally grateful.

I listened to a woman share her story of how she ended up living in Redding California.  She kept having dreams where she would see a city surrounded by mountains.  She was living in the south and her life was challenging at the time.  She kept seeing this place but had no idea where it was.  She heard about Bethel, decided to go to a conference there, and as she came into the city it took her breath away.  Here was the city of her dreams.  Against any arguments, she knew she was to follow God's calling.  She moved there and attended their school of ministry.  Her life changed at God's invitation.

Recently I shared a story her about how Holy Spirit invited me into "something more" with Him. The many weeks that we walked together in a divine encounter is hard to explain, but I did attempt to do so here.  People may be uncomfortable with what I shared, but God told me clearly that I am not to worry about what others think, or try to please man in anyway.  I am to obey Him.  This is a challenging invitation from God........letting go of what people think.  The need for approval from others.  I can look back and see some of the ways it is beginning to happen..........in what I write.......in what I share......in my creative worship dancing....in Bible journaling.  Only God.

What is God inviting you into right now?  He is always welcoming us into something!  Whether it is a closer relationship with Him, obedience, a new art, a new land, healing, or more.  We need to be keeping our ears and eyes open to His guidance and direction, His invitation for the more.  Can you hear Him beckoning you into more?

Our Broken Country, And What Now?

I am going to be sixty-nine in a few months, one of the Baby Boomers of our country who has lived through several wars, the turbulent 60's, the assassination of a president and his brother, the murder of Martin Luther King Jr..  Hate crime.  I am not too old to feel the effects of Hitler and Nazi Germany, the Berlin wall, the Cold War, and countless other historic events that shook our world and changed us for better and for worse.

Joel and I have been through a lot of tough things together in our 48 1/2 years of marriage. The death of a son, of our moms, threats on Joel's life and on our family, hatred and racism thrown at us and our children because we are a family of many races.  We have battled Lyme Disease and I have battled cancer twice.  We have lived in 6 states and one third world country, had 18 major moves, 22 over all.  Like all of you, we have experienced life at it's best and at its worst.

Today we are mourning.  We are weary and grieving the division of America, our country.  We are grieving what we have seen and heard over the past 19 months of this debacle we have called a campaign for President.  We grieve over the hatred and discord.  The degrading of people because of their individual beliefs, "party" beliefs, color, ethnicity, and religion. The killing of innocent people, the ambushing of police. It has all sickened us.  This election process peeled back layers of skin to reveal the fear, anger, and hatred of "we the people".

This is not a political statement.  This is a statement of how divided and hate-filled our country has become again and how we have let fear of each other and of our differences come in the way of
"loving one another" as God has commanded us to do.  Not asked us, commanded us.

I have watched those on Facebook say horrible, hateful things "in the name of their God".  I have read awful things, like calling our current president a monkey, racial slurs, and more.  One man actually told his relative he was looking forward to the White House being white again.  This is to a woman who stood before him holding two of her bi-racial children on her hips.  I have observed online author Christie Purifoy speak from her heart about her Mexican American husband and seen people react in hateful ways.  I have read posts by people putting down anyone who does not think or vote like them.  Honestly, I have "unfollowed" many people on Facebook over the past few months because their words had such a negative affect on me.  "Lets love one another as long as they look, think, feel, live and vote like us.....and lets do it in the name of Jesus."

I think Joel and I are shocked at how angry and afraid people are on both sides of this red and blue divisonary war we have created in government and country.  We are shocked at the hateful things being said, and the hateful things being done.  Ugly has come out of us as a nation and it is scary.

We vote in all elections, but we do not voice our votes in public because we believe as a pastor and family it is not fair to use the pulpit to influence others.  We know  Republicans and Democrats alike who are believers, who love the Lord.  We believe we as citizens of the US have a right and duty to vote.  We, as Christians, love our Lord and our country.

We just don't know where to go with what this election process has uncovered not only in the candidates but in so many of the voters.  It may be something you expected..........I think we expected things had changed for the better in how we see each other, treat each other.  I guess we expected to see "the fruits of the Spirit" come out in people. This is a revelation we are stunned by and paying attention to.

What now?  Our country, our cities, our communities are in turmoil, so what now?  Joel and I feel so strongly that in this season of our lives we want to leave a legacy of not only faith in Jesus to our grands and great grands to come, but we want to leave a legacy of integrity, goodness, kindness, tolerance, acceptance, love and more love.  We want to speak life and not death into our small corner of the world.  We fail sometimes at this, but we get back up, repent, and try and try again to let Christ shine through us.

What now?  It begins with how we treat each other.  How we treat the person who shares our bed, our dining table, who lives across the street, who shops in our grocery store, who looks and believes different than us.  It begins when we get down on our knees, repent for our part in this mess we call living, and love on those easy to love and especially those hard to love.  It begins when we ask ourselves why we are afraid and angry and what would God want us to do about it?

We can change ourselves........others we can only love.  So we love the unlovable, we forgive the unforgivable, we reach out and do what God has commanded us to do............love our neighbors of which the whole world is...........we forgive, we repent, we pray.  Oh how we pray..........we ask God to heal us.  It begins with us.  We ask God to break our hearts for what breaks His.  We praise God for this country we live in, broken as it is.  We look around and see how unbelievably blessed we are to live in a democracy and not a dictatorship.  We give thanks..........we give thanks.......We open our gratitude journals and start remembering the thousands of gifts we have to be thankful for, starting with this country.  We pray for UNITY IN OUR DIVERSITY.  We pray.  We grieve with hope and we pray.

Transitioning

I was praying and meditating over Joel, when God showed me a picture of myself being taken by the arm and guided over to a line on the floor where Jesus told me to stand right behind the line~~ just the way Pat Sajak does when he takes the winner of Wheel of Fortune over to the line to stand for the final puzzle.  After positioning myself behind the line,  I looked up and saw that the letters on the board spelled “transitioning”.  That was all I saw and all I heard, but it spoke clearly and firmly to our present circumstances.

We are in a place of transition, and being challenged with becoming who God is calling us to be in this “senior season” of our lives.  It has at times been amazing and at other times it has been very difficult.  As I pondered what Holy Spirit had shown me, I heard the words that have come to me for Joel so often this year ~ “For such a time as this you have been created”.  (Esther 14).  It is helpful for us as we walk the "road less traveled".

We have been struggling a great deal with feeling like we don’t completely fit into the faith communities we are a part of.  We have found ourselves responding or reacting to the need to define or defend who we are.  This need to defend has distracted us from where God has placed us and what He is doing in us.  It took us awhile to realize that this is not about other people and their thoughts or beliefs, it is about us.  It is about a transition and new birth under the Master’s hands.  When you surrender all to God and ask for “more” He takes that seriously.
 

When I thought about the word transition I went immediately back in my mind to the Gospel Tabernacle in Duluth Minnesota.  The year was 1972 and Joel was forecasting weather for the pilots at the Duluth Air Force Base.  During this time we went to a Lutheran church Sunday mornings, and often with friends on Sunday night to the Tabernacle, a church connected to the Assembly of God denomination.  From there my mind jumped to the Philippines where we attended an inter-denominational church and were part of the Baptist Serviceman’s club off base from 1974-76.  I also belonged to a beautiful group of around 40 women during that time who came together once a week to worship, share, and pray.  There were women from many denominations and I know now that many had their own prayer language and believed in healing. It was there that I experienced my first healing through prayer.  Through that group of women, I saw prayers answered in powerful ways.  For others and for ourselves.  

Looking back I could see the path we had followed and how all those experiences had been quietly and firmly guided by God as He shaped us.  They came together in 2012, 40 years after God instilled in us the desire for something more, when we were healed through prayer from Lyme, and given our own prayer languages.  Our lives were shaken to the core, and it sent us on a quest for all that is offered by our God.   The quest has brought us to yet another season of transition for “such a time as this” now in 2016, 40 years after leaving the women's prayer group behind in The Philippines.

One friend mentioned to me that 40 is a significant number in the Bible. I had not thought of that, but I am receiving it as we wait with expectation and to be honest, some weariness for God to guide our next step. 

It has been a tough year that came together into a perfect storm.  Searching for God's guidance in the midst of it has had Joel saying no to several opportunities, and also has me stepping down from The Knee Team prayer group that I have facilitated for several years.  Some things seem to be ending for us and today I realized that these endings are opportunities for new beginnings.  

"What we call the beginning

is often the end

And to make an end is to

make a beginning

The end is where we start from

T.S. Eliot

We need to focus on hearing God's voice and trust Him in the process.  We need to rest in His hands and let Him "fight for us".  Let Him close doors, and open others while be willing to let go and start anew.

We all go through times of transition in our lives. Our hope is to come through stronger, wiser, and closer to God.  It is not often easy, it is not always fun.  It is, however, necessary as we lean into God and transition into who He calls us to be.  

  

Coloring Outside The Lines

My daughter Beth and her family gave me a great Christian, for-big-kids, coloring book for my birthday and I have been spending time off and on adding color to a few pages with my pencils.  I love paper....no news there.  I love writing on paper (or now keyboarding on the white pages of documents online).  I used to get excited when it was time to purchase notebooks for the school year~ all that crisp clean paper!  I did learn this week that I don't like coloring out of the lines.  I'm 68 years old and I get annoyed when I accidentally color outside the lines. I want the pencils to be sharp and the picture to look perfect~okay, I said it!  Perfect.

Now, I am very aware, that in regards to what we believe about healing and Holy Spirit, we have colored outside the lines of our Lutheran heritage.  Of many denominational "lines".  And I am loving our life in that regard. But am I still struggling with staying inside the lines?  Hmmmm

This aha moment with the coloring book took me way back to when I was an Interpreter for the Deaf in a special needs preschool in MN.  I had two little guys I worked with who were both named Charlie and both were profoundly deaf and needed hearing aids and an interpreter.  I was blessed to spend one school year with them..........they taught me a lot!  Ha....

Recently I heard someone say that by age 8-10 most kids have lost a large percentage of their creativity while going to school.  No coloring outside the lines, please.  And can you blame teachers when they have such large classrooms or standards to follow. Unlike some of my family, I am not a teacher, but I remember well the day one of my Charlies wanted to color the bird in the picture he was given a bright yellow.  The teacher was very upset because I let him color a bluebird yellow.  It just was not okay. He needed to know it was blue because it was a bluebird.  I did not know her argument behind it, and she could have been justified in her persistence to get it into his head, but it seemed over the top for me, and certainly stifled his creativity.  I can still see his face. He knew it was a blue bird. He was not being defiant, he just wanted it to be the color of sunshine.

How often do we stifle creativity in the church body?  During worship?  How often do we hear, "We have always done it THIS way."  How often do we look at someone a little different in their thinking, in their way of worshiping Jesus and we judge that.  How many of us don't want the judgement of others so we stop coloring outside the lines?  Yeah.....

When we were in Arizona we went to a large Methodist church in Gold Canyon.  We were worshiping in the contemporary service and I noticed the music leaders were raising their hands at times.....as were we.  But when I turned to the side and saw a few others raising their hands while singing to our Lord, I noticed I felt relief that I could be who I am and would not stand out.  Some stood to sing. Some sat.  Some raised their hands.  Some did not.  Some swayed with the music. Some did not. The sweet 80 plus woman sitting next to Joel often said, "Praise the Lord" and when we left she leaned over and gave me a big kiss on the cheek, saying, "I am sooooo glad you came. I hope we will see you again!"  And it was all A-okay.

In school we are taught to stay in the lines and learn all that is presented to us, but when we come before God to worship we don't all have to color in the lines of someone else's making. We don't all have to be alike, worship alike, dress alike, pray alike.  How boring would that be.

Don't we all see things differently?  Maybe we see things according to the gifts God has placed inside of us.  Sometimes those gifts are never revealed or used because we are kept within the lines of someone else's making. Gifts kept hidden because of judgement or our own insecurity.

Today I listened online to a young boy around 8 years old get up in front of a large congregation to share his story.  While singing God told him he needed to buy 20 Bibles and give them to the homeless. He decided that was too many to buy so he aimed for 15.  He did listen to God's voice, encouraged by his mom and dad, and he decided to have a race and people could donate money for the Bibles from the kids who were running.  He did so, and they raised over $1,000.  He was able to take not 15 Bibles, but 87 Bibles down to the homeless shelter and they were able to share the Gospel with several there.  A few came to know Jesus and a few were healed BECAUSE an 8 year old boy heard God speak to him and was allowed to color outside the lines and do what God asked of him.

Speaking for ourselves, Joel and I have been challenged to step outside of our comfort zones, not once but many times and it is not always easy.  God just keeps revealing more, asking more, showing up more in ways that sometimes color outside the lines.  For His purpose.  It is all for His purpose and His glory.   He loves all His creation so much He wants them all to know Jesus and He desires a close relationship with His children. Sometimes that includes coloring outside the lines.  Always it means using the gifts God has given you to worship Him, to serve Him, and to love others.  Lets not get in the way of others doing so by judging or limiting them from coloring outside the lines.

They Didn't Make It?

Yesterday Joel and I watched, via the internet, the funeral service of Officer Susan Farrell held at a church we have attended with our son and his family in the southern part of our state.  It was packed with officers from Iowa, surrounding states, and a few around the country and from Canada.  Officers honoring one of their sisters in blue. (Her partner who died in the crash will be laid to rest on Friday.)

The chief of police, Dana Wingert, gave a powerful and moving speech.  He began with these words....
"They didn't make it."  The words spoken  to him when he was informed of the horrific crash that killed  two of his officers.  He went on in his talk to speak about officer Farrell and her calling, and addressed her husband, a fellow officer, and the family.   At the end of his talk he brought it back to the words he first spoke...."They didn't make it."  And then he said, "I stand here before you to argue that statement because they did make it and now they reside in God's house.  And they will watch over us the rest of our days.  Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God."

Later one of Susan and her husband Jesse's friends spoke.  He is a friend, pastor, and police officer who was asked to talk about Susan,  and he also spoke to her husband and little daughter, the love they shared, and how God will continue to be with them.  I loved hearing these respected men in blue speak about our Lord, reading scriptures, praying, declaring faith.  Thank you Jesus.

"They didn't make it?"  No, they did make it......they made it to a life eternal and now reside in Heaven with our Jesus.....

Life is unpredictable at best.  Life is what happens while we are making other plans.  The man who hit them head on while going the wrong direction on the Interstate, was drunk and driving at an estimated 100 mph......  Yes, life is unpredictable, so it is very very important to be right with God....to not put off what God is asking of us......We think we have all the tomorrows before us so we often put off those things we know that we know that we know.  Maybe we need to commit to studying God's Word....to praying more......getting to church........speaking to that someone we have been angry at.  Seek to heal that relationship......lose that weight.......love that neighbor........forgive that person......spend time listening to our Lord.  Say yes to our Papa God at any cost.

God is always waiting to hear from us.  He never turns us away, but waits patiently for us to live the life he has planned for us.   Sometimes life gets in the way of that plan.  Sometimes death.  Bad choices result in bad consequences.  This 25 year old young man made a bad decision that ended innocent lives and his own, and changed the lives of so many others.  Lord have mercy.  Let us not put off listening to God's voice beckoning us to a life filled with His presence here on earth and in Heaven.

The Only One

 "God is the only One who has authority to tell you who you are."

Sarah Mae (InCourage)

This week I have been writing a speech about Joel's 35 years of ministry, getting ready to share it with those who gather on Sunday for his farewell and recognition at Faith Lutheran.  In doing so, I learned something new about my cowboy preacher.  It seems he has had dreaming about preaching long before he ever stepped into a pulpit.  He can remember being only 12 years old when he began to have dreams at night about preaching.  He also used to dream about being a warrior for God, protecting the church from harm.  I found this fascinating.  God was writing on his soul who he was ordained to be.  He was sharing His plan for Joel's life when he was still a child.  Whispering to Joel in his dreams while he slept, about who he was and Whose he was. 

When I saw the quote above I thought of the many different people who tell us who we are.  Starting with our parents, then those in our community, our schools, our churches, the world that comes into our home through that flat screen or our computers, iPads and phones.  The words spoken to us and over us have a deep and profound affect on shaping us.  So do the actions of those we come in contact with.  And lets not forget our personalities and how we perceive life.  Wow. 

I do believe that God speaks to us about who we are and His plans for our lives.  So, what gets in the way of us hearing God's plan...His still small voice...the dreams we have?  Sometimes it is understanding how God speaks, sometimes it is what I shared above....those who influence us speak loud and write on our souls words that are hard to change.  Sometimes it is our own fears, desires, or insecurities. 

We are not 12 years old anymore, but it is never to late.  Here's an idea.....Take a notebook and pen to bed tonight, and when you are falling asleep tell God you are listening...tell Him you want to hear what He has to say to you...you want to hear who you are and be reassured of Whose you are.  Ask Him to reveal His plan for you at this season of your life.   And don't listen to the voices who do not speak love and life over you.  God is the only one with authority to tell you who you are, and oh, my, the wonderful things He wants to tell you. 

My friend Linny has recently released her book, "Rescuing Ruby".  She talks often about how God speaks to her, whispering to her His plans.  Rescuing Ruby from death in Africa was part of God's plan.  Linny shares that she went through horrific abuse as a very young child, but by age 4 she knew that God was with her and that He loved her.  She let God write on her soul even while her days will filled with pain and suffering.  It took years of growing, some counseling, and a learning to trust and not fear, but she hung on to who God told her she was, and she is now a powerful woman of faith, advocating for the orphans, and changing the world with her words and actions. 

Knowing who we are and Whose we are, being willing to surrender our will for God's, rejecting anything negative that people speak over us, and focusing on His Word and His whispers.....you will hear:

"You are my beloved"    "I delight in you" 

"I love you with a perfect love" 

"You are a daughter of the King" 

"I have a plan for you, a plan for good and not evil" 

 

Let God be the only One who has authority to tell you who you are!

Staying In The River of God

Deeper water.....God beckons us into deeper water.  Ezekiel spoke of it when he described his vision from God in chapter 47 of his Old Testament book.  In the vision an angel measured the water in the river coming from the Temple of God...first ankle deep, then knee deep, waist deep....still manageable.  Still in his control.  And then Ezekiel said, "He measured off another thousand and by now it was a river I could not cross, because the water had risen and was deep enough to swim in~ a river that no one could cross."  Ezekiel 47:5

Way over his head.  The water.  The place where he had to depend on God to survive the deep.  It beckoned him....this place of surrender and trust.

I first reflected on Ezekiel's vision when we were planning a trip last fall to a conference on healing being held in CT.  With these and many other words from God on living waters and His provisions, I pondered what God was asking. As many of you know, a trip like this was a really big deal for me.  I had been homebound for 10 years, not traveling anywhere except to see the doctor treating me for Lyme Disease and other nasty bacteria.  Then God opened our eyes to His desire for us to be well, and my husband was healed overnight from Lyme and other health issues.  My healing has been  more of a process and I worried that I was not yet ready for such a big trip. 

Fear told me to stay home.  Just stay home.  Stay safe.....stay protected....stay within the borders.  The enemy also whispered lies, but God called me into deeper waters, asking me to trust Him.  I did.  He provided above and beyond what I could ask or think, and we had a life changing, powerful two weeks, making a vacation of it, traveling 3,000 miles, and attending a conference on healing.  Only God.

A few weeks ago, I began reading Heidi Baker's book, "Birthing The Miraculous" and came across the story in Ezekiel once again.  Deeper water.......where we cannot swim alone.  God calls us to a place of complete surrender.  While still reading the book, I also came across teachings on this vision that brought me to a "less of me and more of You" place  Deeper, deeper than I could ever imagined, my heart opened to Holy Spirit and I was immersed in His presence.  Undone by His love.

At times everything in me cried out......stay!  Stay on the bank of the river.  Wade don't dive.  It is safer here in the familiar.  You can manage your life as it is, and serve Him without full surrender.  Just stay, and avoid the risk.  My heart was willing and still is, but sometimes the flesh is weak.  Yet I am drawn to this "something more" He offers through intimacy, and I cannot resist His voice.  God is trustworthy, this I believe.  Holy Spirit knows what He is doing as He heals the inner crevices of my soul and offers more of God.  Trembling I whisper, "Spirit lead me to where my trust is without borders".

God calls us to a deeper relationship with Him and when we get past the fears and experience the deeper water we only want more.  Here we find life and healing as Ezekiel says in Ezekiel 47:6-9.  In the river, referred to in Ezekiel as the River of Healing,  we are immersed in His heart and He in ours.  We are cleansed, healed, blessed.  Blessed to be a blessing....

Stay. Come.  At times I still ponder the choices, but we are called to take a deep breath, dive in, let go, and embrace God.  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him ( surrender, obedience, immersion) and He will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:4,5

Staying safe in "Renee's world" is no longer really an option for me, because the truth is, the. truth. is. being immersed in the river of God, saying yes to Him IS the safest place to be.  This is where I need to be.  Where He beckons us all.......

I am linking up today with Bonnie over at Faith Barista.  Her prompt word for today is "stay".

The Great I AM

 Stopping over a few days ago to visit Anita's blog, did you bring your camera? I was drawn to the words by John Piper that she posted. 

This past week God has been instructing me in this, to acknowledge His glory and who He is. It seems every book I pick up or every teaching I tune in to online speaks of giving Him alone the glory, the honor and praise to the God who sees us, the great

I AM.

Last night Joel and I watched a teaching by Leif Hetland who spoke about the three chairs we live life from.  Chair #1 he calls the Spiritual Life where we rest in the knowing.  Chair #2 is the Soulish Life where we live by the senses, what we feel, see, taste, touch, and hear.  A place of compromise.  Chair #3 is the chair of the lost, who do not know Jesus.  If you sit in chair #1 you are saved.  If you sit in chair #2 you are saved.  If you sit in chair #3 you are lost and need a Savior.

He went on to say that in Chair #2 we do what we do for God.....it is where most of us live life striving to be better, do better, live better, help others and please God to receive His blessings we read of in the Bible. In chair #1 we do what we do because the blessings come from God.  It is in response to God, and what He has already done for us.  A place of peace and deep joy.  Oh, this is where I want to live and breathe.  What struck me so deeply was that in chair #1 we rest.  We rest in the knowing we have the answers to all our problems and needs. The answer is

I AM

We come to God with a disease.....His response is I AM the God who heals you.  We come to God with a financial issue.....He says, I AM your Provider.  If we are brokenhearted?  I AM your Comforter.  Are we feeling lonely?  I AM El Roi, the God who sees you.  Does fear run our lives?  He says, I AM your protector, I will fight for you, just stay calm.   Feeling lost?  I AM is the God who saves you and goes back for even one lost of His sheep. 

The Bible is filled with so many ways of defining who God is.   So many promises meant just for you, for us.  Lord we glorify You, the Answer to all our problems, all our needs. We give thanks and praise and honor and glory to

I AM

My friend Linny over at A Place Called Simplicity calls Him a miracle-working, mountain-moving, awe-inspiring, gasp-giving God!  AND if our God, I AM, is a miracle working God who moves mountains, if He is awe inspiring and takes our breath way, THAT God has the answers to all our problems and we can rest (in chair #1) in the knowing that He loves us that much.  How can we doing anything else besides speak of His glory!  How can we help but make known the great promises waiting for the world!  He is the great

I AM

Talking with Old Friends

Yesterday our old friends, Dan and Barb,  came by.  Joel and Dan met nearly 38 years ago while they were attending seminary.  They connected on several levels and the friendship with them and as couples has only strengthened over time.  Dan recently retired as a ELCA pastor and Barb retired as a school teacher.  They had planned to stay in northern Minnesota in their lake cabin, but their kids had other plans.  They asked them to consider moving down to the Twin Cities where two of their three daughters live, and of course their only grandchildren!  It did not take much persuading for them to find a new nesting place near the kids.  They now are "busy"  in retirement with their kids and grandkids, keeping an eye on Barb's mom who moved down into the area, travel, and living life in a big city.

It was great fun to spend the day with them....we talked steady for 6 hours while on a walk to the river, from  our cozy living room and during our meal at the dining table.  None stop chatter.

I am always amazed at how we can go a year or ten without seeing old friends and then when we do, it is like we just pick up the conversation right where we left off.  It was so energizing!

It got me thinking.

This is how it is with God too. He waits for us to connect and when we do, we are able to just pick up the conversation where we left off, talking none stop.  He is always willing to listen, and if we take time to be still, He speaks to us too. 

I remember a story about Pastor Rick Warren.  A man wanted to speak to him before services but when he went up to the room Rick was in he heard Pastor Warren speaking to someone so he waited outside, not wanting to interrupt.  Turns out Rick was having a conversation with God.  It did not sound like a typical prayer....it was just two old friends talking!  How refreshing!  That is available for us too. 

 I am reading a book by Faith Blatchford titled, Hearing 101.  It is a great little book on how to open our hearts to hearing God speak to us.  Holy Spirit is right inside of us and His voice can be heard if we quiet our minds and clean out the emotional baggage.  He loves talking to us and with us!

I am sure our conversations with our Friend  will be just as energizing and joy-filled as our friends Dan and Barb.  Maybe even more so~~ Can you hear God beckoning you?  He would love to chat.

"My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk to me." 

 And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming."

Psalm 27:8

Living Waters From God

When God sends me a Bible verse more than twice I pay attention, because this an important way God communicates with me.  If you are a follower of my blog you may recall that last fall I received Matthew 11:28-30 around 26 times from many different sources.   God was hitting me over the head with the living Word from Matthew~~ It truly held a message I needed to hear.  I.m.p.o.r.t.a.n.t.  I am still learning about resting in and trusting God from that time. 

Since July 31st I have received verses and writings on "living waters" nine times from nine different sources.  God is speaking loudly to me once again.  The first 4 times I was given John 7:38 through different devotionals and a book of scriptures.

"Anyone who believes in Me may come and drink. 

For the scriptures declare,

Rivers of Living Water shall flow from the heart

of anyone who believes in Me."

 

Then as Joel and I were reading aloud the book, "Healing For Today" by Pastor Paul Teske, I turned to the next chapter to read and it was titled, "Rivers of Living Water"!!! 

 

Tuesday I read two separate blogs that spoke of living waters and streams of waters.   One written by Heather Lewis Powell over at InCourage had a quote that resonated for me. 

 

 

"If I believe and trust in Him, streams of living waters will flow from me

and I will not fear the heat or worry

because I will be firmly rooted in Him."

 

 A second post by Lisa over at Lisa Buffaloe's site spoke of  "letting God's living waters flow in and through you.  Of us needing to put down deep roots in the Word."
 

I also came across a scripture that Linny over at A Place Called Simplicity shared personally with me over a year ago from Job 11:16...

"You will forget your misery.....it will be like waters flowing away!"

Number nine came yesterday morning in the Daily Light, a scripture where Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well:

"If you only knew who you were speaking to

 you would ask me and I would give you living water." 

John 4:10 

 

 Couple all this with my visit to the garden of my heart in meditation, and I cannot nor would I deny that God is in the midst of this.  In the garden I walked with Joel and Jesus to a pool.  Surrounding it on three sides were high rocks with waterfalls cascading down into the pool.  Jesus and Joel took my hands and I went into the pool with them.  I need to be honest here, during the meditation I saw myself somewhat resistant to Jesus wanting me to go into pool, but I cautiously went in at the encouragement of both, and Jesus poured water over me with His hands.

Yes, God is at work. 

How does God work in your lives?  Through His Word, devotionals, the voice of others you are connected to?  For Joel he is often through nature.  And one friend of ours says that whenever she sees or hears a cardinal she knows God is speaking to her that all is well.  However He comes to you, we can rest assured He comes in love.

Do I understand all that is being shown me? Absolutely not.  I do see some direction, though.  Words like roots, living water, flowing, and the Word are coming up with frequency, and I have heard whisperings from Holy Spirit. For now I am trusting God to reveal to me at the right time just what I need to learn.

It is an adventure in faithful living to walk with Jesus through this life!  Don't you agree?   

 



What Warms Your Heart?

Today I am in my recliner all decked out in my corduroy knit pants, hooded sweatshirt, and wool slippers.  I know.  It is June 4th and I am dressed for winter.  My body is in a "shut down" mode and when this occurs I need to stay warm.  The only thing missing is my wool comforter, affectionately named "Wooly", but that seemed like overkill, even with March temperatures on this cold rainy day in June.

After years of battling chronic illness I know how to warm my body.  But in my present frame of mind.............I needed to revisit the answers to the following question~~

"What warms my heart?"

Encouraging words, praise music, hugs from my hubby, porch sitting, a text or phone call from one of the kids......these are all things that warm my heart. Maybe your list is similar.  But we need more. We need to fill our hearts with the Word of God.  God's promises.  His voice.  Today I read a quote on Facebook by Stormie Omartian that spoke on this.

" The more you put God's Word in your mind, 

the more you will hear God's voice speaking you your heart."

Yes, God's voice will warm our hearts.  On cold days, seasons of change, or times of discouragement,  staying "warm" is a good thing. Spirit, soul, and body~ each has its own needs and God provides for them all.  So, if you are having a tough day, wrap up in comfy clothes, turn on your favorite praise music and open God's Word.  It will warm you heart.

Warrior Woman

This morning Joel and I spent time praying and meditating on a certain health issue I am dealing with on my healing journey. As I quieted my mind and entered into the garden of my heart I immediately saw myself in full armor wielding a sword.  This was a new vision for me and took me back somewhat.

I asked Jesus what this meant.  He replied, "Spiritual warfare. You are in a war. Guard your heart!"

I asked him how to do this, and He said, " With my Word."

Yes, I thought......Speak it, and use the Word of God as a weapon.

Joel finished meditating and as we talked he said he felt Holy Spirit tell him I was dealing (once again) with fear.  I needed to focus on God's Word.   I told him about my picture vision and he smiled and said, " I can see you in armor."  I asked him if it was gladiator style and he said, yes.  I told him that is was what I was seeing too!  It made us laugh.

Xena Warrior Princess morphs into Granny Warrior on a mission!  God's mission for my life.  We all have one.  A purpose, a plan, a mission from God, and He quips us for the journey.

That sword I was carrying....that sword I AM carrying......It is the sword of the spirit.  The Word of God that " is living and powerful, sharper than any two-edge sword..."  (Hebrews 4:12a).

It is important to wear the full armor of God, because the enemy does prowl around like a lion seeking whom he can devour.  He steals, kills, and destroys.  It is a war.  At times we are asked to let The Lord fight for us, and at other times we pick up the sword and fight, but we always wear the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, and the shoes of peace.  We carry the shield of faith, wear the helmet of salvation, and protect ourselves with the sword of the spirit!  (Ephesians 6).

I am still smiling over the Xena warrior attire, but I am not forgetting God's command to fight spiritual warfare with the Word.  That is one sword I plan to carry with me wherever I go.

Following His Voice

"He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out. 

After he has gathered his own flock he walks ahead of them,

and they follow him because they know His voice."

John 10: 3,4

Lately this verse from the book of John has been showing up!  I would think about it for a fleeting moment and then move on, not letting it really capture my attention.  Recently it came together for me as I read a guest post by Sheila Walsh over at Ann Voskamp's Blog.  She spoke about the sheep on their place in Scotland where she grew up.  Sheila talked of how the lambs rejected by their mothers are hand fed by the shepherd until they are strong enough to go out on their own.  When a shepherd calls his sheep, it is those orphan lambs that come running first.  Not because the shepherd loves them more, but because they believe they are loved!  They trust the shepherd and dare to believe they are truly loved. 

I have been meditating on Bonnie's word prompt for this week over at Faith Barista Jam.  The word "follow" has had me humming the chorus of a song our family learned at church in 1975 when we were living in The Philippines.

"Follow Jesus, I will follow Jesus

 Anywhere He leads me I will follow

Follow Jesus, I will follow Jesus

Anywhere He leads I will go"

~~~~~~

I often take time in the mornings to meditate by visualizing the garden of my heart, where I meet with Father God, Jesus, or Holy Spirit.  It is here that Holy Spirit uses my imagination to speak with me.  Today as I went walking through the garden I had the word "follow" on my mind.  I was carrying a backpack and wearing my hot pink tennies.   Jesus and I took off walking and soon we were in a beautiful meadow filled with wild flowers, tall grasses, butterflies and birds.   As I turned full circle I could see the meadow was surrounded by beautiful mountains and hills.  I asked Jesus if this was heaven and He said, "No, this is your freedom".  We sat down to have a picnic and lunched on fresh fruits.  After we ate we began the journey back.  I looked back wistfully, not wanting to leave such a beautiful serene place, but I knew I needed to be lead by Jesus back to another place that for now makes me feel unsettled. I asked Jesus about following Him and He said, "When you follow Me it is necessary to keep your eyes on me or you will get lost.  You need to keep your focus on Me and not on your problems". 

 Sometimes we find ourselves in places we are not so eager to be.......difficult places.  For a season we may feel lost or confused and just plain overwhelmed by what is going on around us.  Battered, broken, or fearful, we can become distracted and take our eyes off of Jesus our Shepherd.  Like sheep, who have little depth perception, we may loose sight of how much He loves us and we find it harder to hear His voice.  Yet, there He is~~Our Shepherd, who is never far from His sheep.  The Shepherd who offers us peace.  And as one of the Shepherd's flock, we know that we are loved and we listen for His voice so we can follow Him wherever He leads.  Isaiah 26:3 tells us  .....and I paraphrase it here for myself....

"I will be in perfect peace when I keep my eyes on Jesus

 (and listen for His voice)

because I trust Him."

~~~~~

 

 I am linking up with Bonnie and asking her question here.....

How is Jesus placing the word follow on your heart today?