A Firm Grip

For the past 25 years I have lived with chronic illnesses. Two years ago my world shifted off its axle when I was told I had Late Stage Neurological Lyme Disease that had gone undiagnosed for 23 yrs. After 2 years of treatment progress has been made, but my doctor tells me I will be fighting this for the rest of my life along with CFS and other illnesses.

In early June of this year my husband, Joel, was also diagnosed with Neurological Lyme Disease. His illness probably dates back 10 years when he was fighting a mysterious sickness for 6 months that was labeled “Post Viral Syndrome” due to all blood tests being negative. Like me, no one ever checked for Lyme at the onset of our illnesses.

We are stunned and finding all this difficult to grasp. Joel is Senior Pastor of a larger congregation and due to my health issues he commutes to work an hour away. He is also my caregiver as I am housebound and mostly live my life from my sofa sanctuary. Our world has been turned upside down and at times I find myself worried about how we will get through this turn of events.

The morning after Joel’s diagnosis God comforted me with the familiar words of Isaiah 40:28-31.

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is an everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, the will walk and not be faint.”

As I clung to these verses and prayed for God’s strength, I picked up The Message to read a different translation, and my eyes were drawn to Isaiah 41 where God is speaking to Jacob.

“Don’t panic. I’m with you. There is no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you………….That’s right. Because I, your God, have a firm grip on you and I’m not letting you go. I’m telling you, don’t panic. I’m right here to help you.”

It became very clear to me that God was in the midst of our situation, and He wanted to reassure us that we could rely on His promises to be with us.

God being such a loving God, has continued this week to remind us of His promises in Isaiah through devotionals and a sermon I listened to live at Saddleback Church, where Buddy Owens spoke on “desert experiences” and how God meets us in the desert, giving us the strength we need to walk through them. He also promises a place of spiritual growth and God will be glorified in it. Isaiah 40:3-5 gives us that promise:

A voice of one calling: “In the desert prepare the way for the Lord……And the glory of the Lord will be revealed and all mankind together will see it. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken”.

We do feel we are going through a wilderness experience, but we have already found “streams in the desert” that God has provided which are nourishing us along with way. Joel’s gift of paid medical leave, a wonderful Lyme specialist, an allergy practitioner who is helping us heal, encouraging and faithful friends, my blogging and support groups who understand the journey, and the prayers of our family and friends have all nourished and strengthened us. We are truly blessed.

Throughout all our lives, there are times when we all have desert experiences. We don’t know what the future holds for us, but we do know WHO holds the future. And we also know who holds us in His firm grip. He has promised to not let go. He has promised to give strength to the weary and power to the weak. He will meet us in the desert and not only will we soar on wings like eagles, but God's glory will be revealed!! We are blessed.

Faith Expressed

"This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

Faith Expressed: New Beginnings!

I get very excited about new beginnings. I love opening a new book and cracking the cover for the very first time to explore what lies within. Reading something new sets my juices flowing! So does writing in a brand new journal or notebook. I used to like moving to a new place and having a fresh start, too, and would take great enjoyment in decorating a new house, meeting new people, and experiencing a different culture in a new area of the country or world. I like having a fresh new start!

Realistically, though, time passes quickly and January moves into February, a book comes to an end, and moving gets old. I make this statement after moving 22 times in 40 years of marriage! New beginnings eventually are no longer new....
There is one new beginning that does not come to an end. That most~important~of~all~new beginnings is when we accept Christ as our Savior. The Bible tells us that our old nature goes away and we are given a new nature. A new nature that gives us the desire to live a life as God's child. As a child of God, His love, forgiveness, and grace is available for us each and every day giving us a fresh start when we come before Him desiring His will, or bowing before Him in repentance. Through His love, forgiveness, and grace ~every day is a new beginning.

We may find ourselves on a journey today that is not one of great joy. Circumstances may have come into play and we may be dealing with the loss of a loved one, an illness, a financial crisis, unemployment, or more. We don't know what 2009 holds for us and we may be looking ahead with fear instead of excitement. What will the new pages of 2009 bring? Who can we turn to if things are tough?
We can turn to our Lord, the Creator of this world...Creator of new beginnings and of old endings, the Creator of hope.

When Christ is our Savior we can live in HOPE for a new beginning...a new day...for this day! We can open the pages of 2009 with HOPE. We can have HOPE for what God will do in our lives to bring us new beginnings.

Faith Expressed: Forgiving Misunderstandings

Ephesians 4:31,32 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

In Dr. Charles Swindoll’s radio Bible study entitled “Getting Through The Tough Stuff” he spoke on getting through the tough stuff of misunderstanding someone’s words or intentions. I believe it is one of the most important gifts we can give ourselves, both forgiving ourselves and forgiving others. Dr. Swindoll says, “Without forgiveness you will limp through life with bitterness. Misunderstanding someone’s words or intentions can breed deep seated bitterness which does not easily go away.” Forgiveness must occur if you ever hope to be free of experiences of misunderstanding in your past. Bitterness and forgiveness cannot co-exist. You cannot change the past – but your bitterness can change you!”

At times in our lives we need to take an “inventory” of our feelings surrounding bitterness and resentment and examine the misunderstandings that have caused hurt and pain to ourselves and to others. Then take the time to resolve these issue.

Dr.Robert Schueller, Jr. spoke on resentment recently, also. He said, "There is no room for resentment in our lives. No room for resentment with our friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, and the whole world." I agree that life is too short to harbor resentments, bitterness, and an unforgiving, conditional love lifestyle.

I once received the E-NCOURAGEMENT devotionals via email by Chris Courtney, and he also spoke on bitterness and forgiveness! “Listen”, he said, “all it takes is a tiny seed of bitterness to grow and spread until we go from “bitter” to “embittered”, hardened by our hurts (both real and perceived). All it takes is a little bit of un-forgiveness toward one person: one ex-spouse, one former employer, one parent, one individual who has wronged us or caused us pain and that little bit of un-forgiveness can grow within us and poison our whole outlook, our whole attitude towards family, friends, life in general, and toward God Himself.”

Susan St. James spoke about the death of her son in a plane crash and when a reporter her whether she was angry about his death at the young age of 14, when her older son and her husband survived the crash. Her response has been echoed around the world. “Having resentment is like taking poison and expecting someone else to die.”

Keeping resentments in your heart is deadly.. We may feel like we are getting back at others, or have the right to be angry and unforgiving towards someone because of misunderstandings that have occurred, but the resentments poison us. It will keep relationships from healing and we may cause others to be upset with our bitterness and revenge towards those who have hurt us or we have perceived have hurt us, but these misunderstandings and feelings of resentment will hurt us the most. God knows this, and that may be why he speaks specifically to this issue in the Lord’s Prayer. “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors..”

In Matthew chapter 18: 22-35(RSV) we find the Law of Forgiveness. Peter asked Jesus how often we are to forgive a brother who continues to sin against me – seven times? Seven times would have been more than Jewish law required, but Jesus replies that we are to forgive others seventy times seven. It seems like an overwhelming task and certainly “not fair”. God is not saying it is easy, but it is necessary.

Forgiveness is so freeing. Where would we be if God did not forgive our sins or our own “misunderstandings” with him?

In Matt: 14, 15 we also read, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” These verses are given to us at the end of The Lord’s Prayer, and they make it pretty clear how important the act of forgiveness is! Similar verses are found in the books of Mark and Luke also. I believe that God gives us these rules/laws on forgiveness as a loving Father who knows what is best for their child. He loves us so much that He wants us to follow His commands for our own sake.

Chris Courtney said, “God puts within each of us a beautiful garden. WE must tend to our gardens with love and nurturing. We have to pull out the weeds that would threaten our crop. The only way to weed ourselves (spiritually) is through love, through Jesus. Forgiveness pulls out bitterness by the root, and fertilizes the soil of our souls for what God wants to plant within us.”

When I first realized that God was speaking to me through so many avenues on forgiveness, resentment, and bitterness, I knew that God really wanted me to listen, to take this to heart, and search within myself to find those areas that harbor resentments – some hidden even to myself. It is a good time of the year to look within and also set new goals for ourselves. I pray that in sharing this with all of you, it touches your hearts. For I believe that God is asking us to look within and find those areas we need to weed out, those areas that would threaten not only the relationships we have with others or with God himself, but those areas that would keep Him from being able to continue the planting Chris Courtney speaks of – the plans he has for our lives and how we are to serve Him.

A Lowly Barn

My husband first began having Christmas Eve services in a barn in 1981, when we were living in Eastern Montana. They have continued for the past 27 yrs and are usually well attended. He will be officiating at 3 services tonight and 1 will be held in a barn. All our senses seem to be heightened when we worship in such a setting. Usually there are hay bales to sit on, and music is sung without accompaniment or with an acoustic guitar. Joel passes his cowboy hat around as an offering plate, and the altar consists of stacked hale bales and a background of stalls. A few animals gather with the congregation ~ a cow or two, maybe a horse, and sometimes sheep or goats. Dogs and cats often meander about hoping for a few strokes from their new friends, or they curl up at the feet of those in attendance. While worshiping in an unheated barn, the people dress in heavy winter clothing and often bring blankets to add warmth, as they celebrate the birth of our Savior. Over the years the locations, the barns, and the congregations have changed, but the tradition continues.

When we were living in central Minnesota in the eighties the media somehow got hold of this “new” idea of worshiping in a barn on Christmas Eve. A TV station from the Twin Cities came up to film our service. This did not go over very well with Joel, so he asked them to take their pictures and interview him ahead of time~ so as not to interrupt the actual service. We did not want to make this a big production. The AP picked up the story and friends in Alabama told us they read about Joel’s barn service in their paper! What we found so comical about the newspaper story was what they said about Joel…and I quote: “The pastor even dressed the part , wearing cowboy boots, jeans, and a cowboy hat.” What they did not realize is that this is how Joel dresses every day except Sunday morning ( and then it is his suit with boots) and this is how it has been for over 30 years.

I miss attending those special services, and so do our children now that they are grown and have moved on, but we have many special memories of years past. The barn service continues each Christmas Eve and more importantly so does the worship celebration of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas!

Faith Expressed: A Church In The Foothills

Zortman Church

When my husband was in the seminary we spent his internship year at a parish in North Central Montana. Malta’s Parish consisted of four main Lutheran churches, a hot springs resort chapel, and a tiny church in Zortman, Mt. ~ a historic mining town nestled in the foothills of the Little Rocky Mountains. Joel and his internship pastor ministered to these areas.

The services at Zortman were held once a month, with most people driving up to 75 miles across gravel roads from their ranches to attend church together. The small Catholic church sat on the top of a high hill and was one of the few buildings left in this small town. I believe at that time there were 9 full time residents in the village itself. People from the surrounding towns often came to enjoy what the Little Rockies had to offer, and the small café/bar offered nourishment when they visited the area.

We had the privilege of being a part of the Christmas service the year we were there, and it is tucked away in our memories forever. We drove the long distance through snow and freezing temperatures, arriving with many others shortly before the service. Everyone gathered at the local café beforehand. All of us were dressed for the bitter cold in snowmobile suits, snowsuits, insulated underwear, heavy boots, scarves, and warm mittens. When it was time for the services to begin, everything in the town closed up. It was dark outside as we left the cafe, and many of us were given lanterns to carry up the long hill to the church. We were one of the last families to leave, and in doing so we were able to watch the glowing lights move up the winding path to the church. As each person carrying a lantern entered the sanctuary, the church filled up with more and more light until it looked just like a beacon on the hill. What a beautiful sight to see! Once we arrived in the sanctuary, we all huddled together on benches to keep warm. The wood burning potbelly stove, which stood in the corner of the room, gave off a warm glow and provided the only heat in the church. Our hymns of Christmas joy were especially meaningful as we sang along to the old pump organ. For many reasons, the Christmas story of Jesus being born in a humble stable held special meaning for us that night.

When services were over, we all walked back down the hill guided by the lanterns and moonlit sky. All those who attended went into the café for coffee, dessert, and more fellowship together, before heading back out into the cold and traveling home.

The service in the Little Rockies is forever a beautiful memory for me. Here we were, coming together to worship our Lord and Savior and celebrate His birth. It did not matter whether we were worshiping in a big cathedral or a tiny “borrowed” church in a small, historic mining town in Montana. The focus was the same ~ to worship and celebrate the birth of Jesus our Lord.