Saturday's Scribbles

 

Good saturday to you from our corner of north  Iowa on this first day of November It has been such a warm fall, although this week, we were able to get my wool comforter out and put that on the bed.  I know I sleep better when I use my woolly.  I ordered it from Shepherd's Dream years ago.  

Joel has been doing yard work and woodworking projects, taking care of the house and me.  My mother used to tell me that he was a saint and I think she's right.  He has gone on only one bike ride. Unfortunately other things get in the way. 

On October 23 I saw the orthopedic surgeon and the thoracic surgeon over at Mayo clinic.   The news was what we expected, except even more so.  Bottom line is that the surgery would not work for me.Because even if I survived the 8 hr surgery, the recovery would be brutal, and there's still a fifty percent chance of the sarcoma coming back.  The tumor is against three ribs pushing on the right lung, on the diaphragm and leaning on the liver.So you know it's big.  The only option is immunotherapy, not to shrink it or remove it, but to try to keep it from growing at its fast pace.  I have never been so sick in my life as on immunotherapy. For me chemotherapy was easier.But I was younger and stronger.  In the past, I would  just push my way through things.But I cannot do that now.And find any.... activity ..any activity exhausting.  At the end of the day, I am still here, and I am believing that God is fighting for me.  

Joel really enjoys Halloween because of the kids..  He likes to sit on the porch and hand out candy.  Last night even with the rain, we had eight bags of candy disappeared.  Joel ended up getting a bunch of teenagers, skipping up, and down the street with his different variety of skips that he has.  One of the kids said you're really cool... Another said you made my night.   He had great fun.  

We continue to need to thank so many for their thoughts, their messages and their prayers.  This is a hard journey and one where you can ask questions like, why?But with effort we can say God, we don't understand but we trust you

Grateful today to still be here and to be able to enjoy my husband's fun time with the teenage trick or treaters.  Grateful for all the doctors who looked into all the research of what to do for me. Grateful for all those who believe in the power of prayer.  Grateful for homemade chicken soup that brings comfort.   Grateful for all of you. 

Enjoy your weekend!