Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday morning to you from our corner of Iowa where Spring has arrived......although today our temperature will not leave the thirties!  The snow is gone, and everyone's yard look like they need a good raking. It is that time period where everything is still brown and drab, as the earth awaits sunshine and warmer temps.  Soon things will turn green, bud and bloom and the drab landscape will be replaced by some of nature's best colors.

It has been a quieter week for me.  I did go to the cancer center for labs, an appointment and injections.  I also fractured a molar so will head to the dentist next Monday.  Eye injection scheduled for Tuesday.  Surgery for left kidney stone the following week.  Are we having fun yet?  Joel has been busy dealing with the winter season of people's lives.  He officiates today at a funeral for a 50 year old man who battled brain cancer.  He has another congregation member in hospice and a third from one of his churches died.  Over the years we have noticed that quite often deaths come in threes.  A mystery for sure.

About a week ago I received a beautiful blue prayer shawl in the mail from a ministry located in a town abut 35 miles from here.  Joel's college roommate's wife asked me if I would be interested and of course I said yes.  The people who make the shawls pray over them and pray for the people they send them too.  A blessing all the way around! 

We have started reading a book by Beni Johnson titled "The Power of Communion".  Joel and I often have communion at home.  We know God is present in the bread and wine/juice.  There is forgiveness in communion as we come before God to confess and partake.  What about healing?  And deliverance?  There is a lot to contemplate in this book and we are looking forward to going deeper into its pages.

I was excited to see that one of my favorite movies is on Netflix.  "5 Flights Up" with Diane Keaton and Morgan Freeman is now available to watch.  It is a movie I have mentioned here before.  The story of getting older and feeling the pressure to move from their apartment 5 flights up (with no elevator).  It deals with their past, present, and future as "seniors".

Our granddaughter Abbi went with her HS choir to Nashville this past week where they performed at the Grand Ol' Opry and later cut a cd at Studio B.  What an amazing experience for them.  Things have changed since I was in HS choir.  Our big trip in 1965 was to go up to Mpls., 2 hours away, to attend the opening of The Sound of Music at a large screen theatre.  That was a big deal!  Now? What amazing experiences kids have.

It is really windy here today.  The sun is shining but the winds have brought in cooler weather. The wind will dry up the ground and the small piles of snow that are left . Oh, I am looking forward to all that spring brings.  Spring offers us a new thing!  It helps us to remember that God works all things together for good.  It helps us remember that winter does end.  Just like the earth having a fresh look, it gives us hope for change and healing, and a fresh look at life. 

Relentless

One of the meanings of the word relentless is to be oppressively constant, incessant.  Synonyms for this word include persistent, lasting, unstoppable, 

There is an drug ad on TV that speaks about metastatic breast cancer being "relentless".  I have noticed it is the new j"buzz word" used by pharmaceutical companies.  The woman in the ad also speaks of being relentless in her treatment of the disease, but cancer can seem relentless.

The enemy, Satan, is also relentless in his pursuit to destroy God's children through disease, destruction, and the lies he whispers into the ears of those who love the Lord.  It can feel like an endless battle of good vs evil.  He is out to "kill, steal, and destroy".  The enemy is relentless.

I believe God is relentless in His love for His children.  He, too, pursues us, but He pursues us because of love.  He wants us to have a close relationship with Him.  He wants us to accept Jesus into our lives so we can live forever with Him.  God is relentless with His endless grace for us.  He continually welcomes us into His arms.  God is relentless!

We are asked to be relentless, too.  Relentless in our desire to love and serve our Lord.  Relentless in sharing that love God has for us with others.  Relentless in remembering that God so loved the world.  Relentless in standing firm in our faith!  Relentless in trusting our Jesus.  Relentless in prayer.  We, too, are required to be relentless. 

I am so grateful for a relentless God.  So grateful for His unfathomable love, His unending grace, His passion for His children.  God being relentless?  It is a good thing. 

The Tug-of-War

It has been like Christmas all over again as we recently dug out the gift cards we had received in December!  With so much going on we had put them out of our minds.  One of my favorite places to shop is Amazon and I always ask for gift cards to the online giant.  There were three, plus a couple of restaurants, Fleet Farm, and Target.  What did we do before gift cards?

We shopped in brick-and-mortar stores.  We still do, but sadly, here, so many of our stores have closed.  K-Mart and Sears, JC Penneys, American Eagle, Younkers, 2 Hallmarks, and most recently Shopko joined the "going out of business" train.  Sad.  And yet I have a part in their closings too with my online shopping.  It is a bit of a tug of war, isn't it.  The convenience and cost benefits of online shopping can't be beat, but supporting our local communities is so important too.

Our world, it is a changing.  Technology at it's best and the aftermath of it? Bankruptcies and closings.  There is something to be said for having the item we are looking at in our hands.  Getting a good feel for it, and a good look at what we want to purchase.  That tug-of-war of brick-and-mortar and online shopping.

I chuckle at the fact that you can tithe online, through your church's website.  You can livestream a church service and worship from your living room.  Convenience.  Yet, I argue there is something necessary and special about gathering with other believers in fellowship to worship our Lord. Face to face, interaction with a living human being.  Uniting together to worship in His presence. 

Our relationship with God can be a bit of a tug also.  It is easy to draw near and then far in our daily lives depending on our circumstances.  It is too easy to breathe in and then breathe out in trust, in rest, and in connecting with our Jesus.

How do we embrace the future while holding on to what is important in the past.  How do we keep intimacy in our relationships, when so much communication is online. How do we support our communities while getting the best deal for our money.  How do we stay close to God?   It is a tug-of-war in some ways.  A tug-of-war that involves intentional effort to maintain balance. 

Random thoughts..............

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday morning to you from our corner of Iowa where Spring has arrived!  The snow is melting quickly and the temps are seasonal.  Yeah!  We survived another winter, and this one has been a challenge to say the least.  Soon spring flowers will start to bloom!.  The resident ducks are looking for a place to nest, and the robins are coming back!  Spring brings with it hope.  We can all use a little more hope.

Our state is one of a few in the midwest where flooding has spread destruction.  Mostly in the southwest corner of our state.  It will take a long time and a lot of determination and hard work to restore what has been lost.  I saw one story where pig farmers lost over 600 of their hogs to flooding.  The wall of water came quickly and there was no time to evacuate.  Sad.  Weather has really taken it's toll the past year with fires, floods, tornados, and more.  I'm hoping summer will be quiet and uneventful.

I turned 71 this week.  Very grateful to still be here, but can't help but wishing I felt a bit better.  Each day is different.  I received a phone call from our grandson Eli, who lives with his family in Arizona.  What a nice surprise.  He will soon be 17, hard to believe it.  His dad, our son Kevin, died in December 2004.   We were happy to hear from Eli. We are so grateful for all our grands and the gifts they bring to our family.  Each one of them is unique and special, and we are blessed to have them in our lives.

I was watching an HGTV show this week and found myself amazed by how particular people are when house hunting.   The McMansions that have so much space, you hardly ever have to run in to each other!  Blows my mind.  It took me back to all the parsonages and houses we lived in and the adjustments we made to things that were not really our style.  That had Joel and me discussing the different bathrooms in the many different houses.  We have never had double sinks, and only one house with a "master bath" that was so narrow we both could not be in there at the same time.  We adjusted.  One bathroom we had was covered in turquoise and black tiles, another had a lime green clawfoot tub.  We had one with pink tile, and another that was just a stool with two pocket doors.  It was located between the kitchen and our bedroom.  Funny thing is, that was everyone's favorite bathroom!  Our present bathroom is in need of a complete renovation.  It is a 80's black and white explosion...black and white tile on the floor, on the shower walls.  A bit too much in the early morning!  ha!    Just can't decide if we want to put the money into it when we don't plan for this to be our "senior" house.  Too many stairs.....too large......Anyhow.......

For me the houses I am most fond of have a warm history behind them.  We absolutely loved the "Internage" in Malta Montana.  A small, old house that sat next to the church.  That is the one with the lime green tub and a makeshift shower in the unfinished basement.  The kitchen was an add on and the space between the dining room and kitchen slanted down a few inches.  There was an enclosed porch, and two bedrooms upstairs.  Our oldest slept in the large hallway and loved that because she could read by the downstairs light at night when she  was supposed to be sleeping!  We loved that house.  Not because of it's many great features...........but because of its history.  We were the 19th intern they welcomed at Malta ( if we remember correctly) and many of them had lived in the Internage as we called it.

Enough rambling.  Are you living in a place you love?  Do you "feel" the history of it.  Maybe you have created a history in your home.  Houses are just that, but when we make them our own they become a home.........whether they have a turquoise and black bathroom or not!

Spring Is Bursting Forth

It is the last day of winter, or so we keep hearing!  Tomorrow is the first day of Spring and hope rises just like our temperatures.  It will be in the 50's by the end of the week.  I look forward to opening our windows and sitting on our front porch again.  Winter has let go of it's grip and Spring is bursting forth.

I have thought back on the winter seasons of our lives.  Certainly the great losses we experienced for so many years while battling Lyme Disease.  A threat on Joel's life, resulting in a risk to our family that lasted over six years.  The death of our son Kevin at age 25 due to congestive heart failure, and the loss of another son to his destructive lifestyle and choices.  And of course the winter season we are stumbling through right now with yet another cancer diagnosis plus more in my body.  Winter seasons.  We all experience them to varying degrees.  Some may be a result of our own choices, but most are unexpected events that come our way in life.  That come with living in a broken world.  Still, these winter seasons are only part of our story.  God works all things together for good.....Joy comes in the morning!

The recent flooding in the midwest is really beyond our comprehension unless we find ourselves in the midst of it.  The governor of Iowa flew over the destruction in SW Iowa and said the farmland looks now like a vast ocean.  Record storm..........record flooding.  You can read story after story about the devastation, but you can also read story after story about the goodness of people.  Those who reached out to help others.  I love that.

When I think about Lent I cannot help but think about how God has rescued us from our own winter with Jesus.  The goodness of God in sacrificing His Son to save us.  I love that.  What kind of love is this?  So difficult to comprehend.   To understand.  And maybe we don't.  Maybe we don't use up our energy trying to understand or analyze the winter seasons of our lives, nor comprehend this unfathomable love given to us.  Maybe we just believe and rest in the knowledge that the goodness of God will prevail.  Winter will end.  Spring will burst forth!  We are seeing signs of it in nature here in our corner of the world.  And if we look hard enough with observing eyes, we will see the signs in our own lives, our own winter seasons.  Spring is bursting forth!

Saturday's Scribbles

Iowa ice jam

Good Saturday afternoon to you from our corner of Iowa where seasonal weather has returned after temperatures reaching near 50 this week.  The warm temps have caused some major flooding in this state, among others.  We are watching the river here, but so far it is not causing too many problems.  I heard that the Racoon river went from 9.6 ft to 19 ft in just 4 hours.  Wow.  Most rivers have big slabs of ice causing jams and increasing flooding.  Winter seems to be reluctant about leaving and making sure we know it!!

This week I picked up some yarn so I could pass the time knitting.  I am making a simple scarf that I hope I won't need until next winter!  Going to Joanne's Fabrics was only the 2nd place I have gone that was not medically related in 3 months.  Today we headed to the library where I picked up a few easy reading fiction books.  Felt so good to get out and do something normal. 

Lacking energy takes me back to my years with Lyme Disease.  Confined to my home, sometimes the sofa, never going anywhere for weeks and weeks.  Joel would try to get me out for short drives so I could get a different view.  Lyme was slowly killing me just like so many others.  I know a family on the MN/IA border who all have Lyme to varying degrees.  Mom, Dad, and 4 kids.  Devastating.  We hear so many stories of those who suffer from this debilitating disease that is misunderstood and under diagnosed.  I cannot count how many people speak to us about Lyme once they know we both had it.  Sobering.

Joel had a good chuckle today when he took a letter to the mailbox.  A man was trying to get his short-legged white ball of fluff dog, Ralphie, to mind him.  The dog was having a blast and totally ignoring his master's voice.  When Ralphie saw Joel he ran quickly to his side, tail wagging.  Joel talked to him a bit and then held on to his collar until the man could get him back on his leash.  The man quietly said, "Ralphie is such a naughty dog."  Joel got a good laugh over Ralphie and his antics.

Speaking of laugh......Joel was in the Target parking lot when he noticed a little girl talking to her mom and pointing at Joel's cowboy hat.  He asked her if she liked cowboy hats and she nodded her head.  Her mom told him she loves boots too and would never take hers off is she had the choice.  Joel asked if they had horses and the mom said no, just a dog that weighs 105 lbs!  The little girl in all her innocence said, "Yeah, he farts a lot!"  Joel had another good chuckle over this. 

Our youngest daughter was in town today and stopped by.  I am often stunned by how beautiful she is.  Recently she and her guy gave us a 50 inch smart TV!  What a nice gift!  She joined our family when she was two years old.  Where have the years gone?  Our oldest is 49 and youngest soon to be 33.  Our oldest grand is 20 and youngest grand is 10.  Time passes swiftly. 

It is pancake night here in our house.  Every other Saturday we have almond flour pancakes, covered in almond butter, freshly mashed strawberries, fresh blueberries, pure maple syrup and coconut whipping cream.  Pancakes hold a special place in our house.  First of all, on our first date we went to Uncle John's Pancake House in the Twin Cities.  Pancakes have always been a favorite of mine and years and years ago we started having them Saturday night while listening to Garrison Keillor on the radio.  There is something comforting about routine and tradition isn't there. 

Enjoy your Saturday night, whether it involves eating pancakes or not! 

Again, The Message Appears

I listened to a story Bill Johnson, senior pastor at Bethel church, shared recently about an unusual way God spoke to him many years ago.   He had been struggling with whether he should write a book or not.  He was not getting any clear direction from God, until one night he woke up to hear God say, "Isaiah 30:8".  That is all that was said, but when Bill looked up the verse it said, "Go now, write it on a tablet for them......."  That was pretty straight forward.  Just to affirm this to Bill, when he went on a conference trip his first hotel room was #308.  So was the second in another city.  Coincidence?  Not in God's world.  He asked God what he was trying to tell him and when he got back home and looked at his schedule he realized that he was so busy traveling over the year that he had no time to write.  He adjusted his schedule so he could be obedient to God's command.............Go and write!

There are so many ways God speaks to us.  Through devotionals, other people, His Word that seems to just jump off the page.  Sometimes there is that still small voice that resonates inside, a "gut feeling", or a sense of peace that overcomes.  He is patient and He is persistent in His pursuit of us.  He loves to communicate with us although so often His ways are a mystery.

For two years now I have been getting Exodus 14:14 in devotionals, on a plaque from our oldest, in scriptures, on Facebook!  It has come so often without me looking for it that I have started asking God what He wants me to hear and know in this message.  Evidently I am missing something here!  The last one was online from Jesus Calling and spoke loudly to me personally.  The mystery is unraveling.

 "I will fight for you; you need only to be still.  I know how weary you are, My child.  You have been struggling just to keep your head above water and your strength is running low.  Now is the time for you to stop striving and let me fight for you.  I know this is not easy for you to do.  You feel as if you must keep struggling in order to survive, but I am calling you to rest in Me.  I am working on your behalf, so be still, and know that I am God."

I remember when we were going to buy a house in the late 90's.  Joel was really stressed about whether it was the right thing to do or not because of an unforeseen circumstance that popped up.  That night as I was reading Billy Graham's magazine, there was a story so similar to ours.  A house to buy, a circumstance that came up, second guessing a decision but eventually standing firm on buying their house.  For us that felt like God speaking and we moved forward in our purchase.  All went well.

Sometimes when God speaks it is clear and swift, other times it is a mystery we pursue knowing God is guiding us and we can trust Him in the process as we seek understanding of it all.  During this season and with this one verse relentlessly pursuing me, I will keep asking God just what all He wants me to hear.  To know.  To embrace.  And I will intentionally be still to hear from Him.

God loves to communicate with us on an intimate level.  He wants to speak to us, have us speak to Him. And He does give us ample opportunity.  Sometimes it is bold and clear, other times it is surrounded in mystery.  We need only trust Him to do what is best for us as we bend our ear to listen.

When Life Gives You Lemons

My sister Jan has a beautiful lemon tree in her back yard at their winter home in Mesa.  It produced so many lemons this year she put an add on their community email for people to come and take as many as they wanted.  Her hubby loves lemon pie, so he gets his fill as the tree flourishes.  She is making something good from all those lemons,

When life gives you lemons........make lemonade or maybe lemon pie.  Make something!  Don't let yourself get bogged down in the sourness of the season. Don't be chewing on those lemons.  On a side note, we had a good friend in New Mexico and she used to suck on lemons the way you would an orange.  It was actually eating away the enamel on her teeth! 

Life has been more than a little challenging for myself and so many others I know.  As I lay on the sofa it feels like lemons have piled up around me, stacked high.  Just what can I make with all these lemons?

I was sharing with my friend Katherine what has been going on in my body lately.  A lament of sorts as I grieved the life I lost for the one I have now.  So many issues, so many struggles.  She asked me  a very important question that gave me pause.........."How are you feeding your soul?"

Joel and I have both described this journey as one that seems to be stuck in time.  Just going in circles like the Israelites wandering in the wilderness.  There has to be purpose for this season.  These lemons thrown my way eat away on the soul just as the acidic fruit eats on tooth enamel.  Need to feed the soul.

How do we make something good from all the lemons?  Each one of us would have a different answer to this question.  Jesus tells us He will work all things together for good for those who love the Lord.  There is the Word on that.  Solid.  Trustworthy. 

So when life gives us lemons, let's squeeze every ounce of juice out of those sour little things the enemy sends our way, and lets make an effort to make some lemonade.  Or a great lemon pie!  It won't always be easy, but it is not impossible with God.  Feed your soul 

Saturday's Scribbles

Our weather continues to be wild and filled with snow, rain, ice, and wind.  Seriously, this winter has been long ...........long and endless.  Our corner of Iowa is piled high with snow and today's rain is adding to the mess.  Joel was out yesterday using the snow rake to lower the burden on the roof and make room for the rain.  North of us they are getting heavy snow again.  I am not sure what is worse, sleet and ice or snow?  I saw a quote that said, "It is like winter stormed out of the room angry and then came back in saying.......and another thing!"

The past 10 days have been a journey..........again.  I had a scan that showed the large stone in right kidney is gone with a few fragments left we hope will keep quiet. Yay! In an office procedure the urologist took out the stent in that kidney.  Uncomfortable, but the symptoms after were more challenging.  Turns out I still have the "complicated UTI" and those symptoms ramped up as I waited for insurance to approve IV antibiotics.  I started those IV's Wednesday.  Again.  The IV is in my hand so it is hard to do much.  Awkward.  The day after the urology appointment I had injections and saw the oncologist.  I keep feeling frustrated by my lack of energy and tiredness and Joel keeps reminding me of all that is going on.

Speaking of going on, last week my sister Jo, who helped raised me, ended up going by ambulance to the hospital and eventually after some pretty scary symptoms she ended up getting a pacemaker and new blood pressure meds.  Yesterday she ended up repeating the same scenario and is being checked out at the cardiac unit.  Hopefully it is only a medication glitch.  I hate that we cannot be up with her, but she is in our prayers.

Life continues to be what happens while we are making other plans.  We like to think we are in control and forge our own journey through life...........that works some of the time until things get messy.  I think about those who went through tornados this week.  Such devastation.  The medical tsunami that hit my sister was so unexpected.  A diagnosis, an accident, a death, a financial loss.  Everyone has a story to tell of a time or two when life threw a wrench in best laid plans.  In the middle of a good life comes the bad.  No one escapes it.  It is just a matter of what we do with it.

Some days we do well, other days weariness sets in. Good thing we know where to turn.  A place where the facts meet the truth.  Jesus.  Praying your days are filled with few storms, filled with Jesus and His truth.  Even as winter continues on...............let us not forget that Spring WILL come.  This too shall pass.

Birthday Blessings

It is our oldest daughter's birthday today.  She turned 49 although that seems impossible.  How can that be?  As our first born she was a "guinea pig" of sorts as we learned how to parent.  I think she has forgiven us the mistakes we made as we learned and grew with her.  I was 21 when she was born, Joel 23.  We were married in June of 1968 and I was wearing maternity clothes when we celebrated our first anniversary.  I did not need them, but I was so excited to be pregnant I couldn't wait to put them on.  She arrived 3 1/2 weeks after her due date.  At 8 1/2 lbs she had the most beautiful skin, and was healthy as could be.  We lived in a 2 room apt. in Albuquerque N.M. with too many roaches and too little space.  Joel was getting training in the Air Force at the time.  We really had no clue what we were doing.  There was a woman who mentored me as she had given birth to her 7th child when I gave birth to our first. She was a big help!

We have watched Beth grow and develop, using her musical gifts, graduating from H.S. and college, earning her own masters in Old Testament theology,.  More importantly she married a solid Christian man and raised her own kids to adulthood, We have been amazed and so very thankful.   So very thankful for the precious gift we were given so many years ago, for the woman she has become.  In spite of us and because of us.

Today we say Happy Birthday to our oldest!  Happy Birthday Beth!  May this year be overflowing in abundance and joy~love and blessings!  And just when did you get to be 49?!?!