Lime Green Tennis Balls

This week I have been sorting through some of the over 1250 articles I have written for my blog.  In the process I came across this one written in 2012, and decided to re-share it with you readers.  

In the dream I was sitting in my home church sanctuary, which was quite large. Behind me was a big balcony. While in the pew, probably the 5^th pew from the front on the left side where we always sat as a family, I kept getting hit with tennis balls. Lime green ones. I kept looking around to see where they were coming from but could not see anyone throwing them. Finally I asked aloud, "WHERE are these tennis balls coming from??" A voice answered, "Satan". I looking up behind me as another one came down and hit its target~ ouch! While glancing over my shoulder I also noticed that many of the tennis balls never made it down to me, but were stuck in mid-air!

In my sleep I immediately thought, "I really need to change this dream".....so as the tennis balls were reigning down on me, I heard myself say, "Satan, in the name of Jesus and by the authority given to me as a believer who is 1/3 wall to wall Holy Ghost, I command you leave this sanctuary! You cannot stay here!" Of course he left. He has to!

I awakened from the dream and as I lay in bed, I started pondering the meaning of it. Very quickly I heard a voice inside me saying, "YOU are the temple of God, YOU are the sanctuary of God and Satan has no authority over you. A light bulb moment ~ the sanctuary in the dream was actually me.

“You realize, don't you, that you are the temple of God, and God himself is present in you?

No one will get away with vandalizing God's temple, you can be sure of that.

God's temple is sacred—and you, remember, are the temple.”

I Corth 3: 16,17

The Message

I continued to lay quietly in bed and ponder the tennis balls. Satan was hitting me with tennis balls....hmmm What does that mean? First of all, tennis balls are not rocks! They can hurt but not really harm me. They certainly cannot kill me! Even if they could,  death has no lasting power because we have eternal life!!! AND all those balls stuck in the air?? I realized that they were the ones that God kept from reaching me. I was protected from many of Satan's "fiery arrows" that came in the form of lime green tennis balls!!

The Lord was taking care of me even when I did not know I needed it! God is always watching over us. I fell back to sleep thanking the Lord for his protection, thanking Him for giving us the Holy Spirit within and the believer's authority to tell Satan to take a hike. Thanking Him that Satan has NO authority and runs from the name of Jesus. Thanking God that I am being pelted by tennis balls and not rocks.

Lime green tennis balls? Who would have thought I would find comfort in such a thing....but I did. God can use all things for our good, even a dream about tennis balls!

** Much has happened since this dream eight years ago.  There have been more of those lime green objects tossed my way and I would say a few rocks too.  In fact, I would venture to guess that in 2020 we have all had more than a few tennis balls thrown our way, finding their target in the process.  But God is aware of every one of them.  And His Word still holds true.  It may be wise to carry around a tennis racket to return those balls to the sender!  We can do so as we speak to our mountains and remember, we are His sanctuary.  His temple.  His child.  And 1/3 wall to wall Holy Ghost.

Saturday: Heaven's Heartbeat

Papa..........Papa God?  Can I come sit on your lap and will You just hold me close?  I know you will.  As I lean my head against your chest will you quiet my rapid heart while I listen to the beating of the heart of your Spirit realm.  A Heavenly pulse is needed at this time to keep a steady firm beat in this chaotic moment.  Let me listen to Your rhythm, Your Voice, and what You are saying as I come to you.

"The moment we get tired in the waiting, 

God's Spirit is right along side,  helping us. 

If we don't know how or what to pray it doesn't matter.

 He does our praying in and for us, 

making prayer out of our wordless sighs,

 our aching groans."  

Romans 8:26  

The Message

Sighs come forth as I rest against you.  Sighs of relief and sighs of weeping and mourning.  You tell us in Your Word that when we don't know what to pray, Your Spirit prays for us.  We need that Papa God.  We need Your Spirit to intercede for us, for our families, for our cities, our country, our world.

I am worried, Papa....I am more than worried, I am scared for our children.  For your children.  I am especially worried for our sons.  Your sons.  Our son you created as a black man, who lives in the Minneapolis suburbs.  A man who loves You and wants the best for his own son.  He is especially feeling the pain, the frustration, the chaos.  Hold him close and let Him rest against You. And our son You created as a white man with a calling on his heart to be a police officer.  A man dedicated to serve and protect his community, and now seen by many as the enemy.  Hold him close and let Him rest against you. Shield them both.

Papa, so many people in our country are divided, so broken.  Divided politically, religiously, racially, financially, and in ways I can't even comprehend.  We have all contributed to this mess, and for that I repent, Papa.  Show me the way to go.  When I rest in Your arms, it smooths the edges, and gives me hope.  We need hope Papa.....we need You.  Let me rest in Your arms, yet a little longer.  Let us all rest in your arms as we hear the heartbeat of Heaven and seek Your kingdom here on earth. 

Light As Feathers

This morning Joel and I sat quietly after asking God to share with us something He wanted to tell each of us today.  Immediately I saw myself surrounded by white feathers.  They were swirling around me and I was standing waist deep in feathers.  I saw myself smiling as I reached out and put one in my hand.

As I pondered if these were angel feathers or God's sheltering feathers I heard these words:  "Your worries are as light as a feather...."  I was stunned by what God was saying.  I questioned, "All these white feathers are my worries?  Waist deep, surrounding and swirling around me.....worries?  God interrupted my thoughts with His words....."Your worries are as light as a feather when placed in MY hands." I saw God's enormous hand come down from the sky and then I saw myself putting a feather in the palm of His hand.   Of course!  What I had heard became clear to me when seeing His hand......

When we place our worries into God's hands, they become light as a feather in our lives.  They do not burden us or weigh us down.  God has often used feathers when He talks with me. Our oldest daughter reminds me of that with gifts focused on His sheltering feathers and a friend sends me text images of feathers periodically.  Feathers led us to Bethel Church nearly 3 years ago and scriptures on feathers helped me walk through cancer in 2015.  And today God used them to bring peace and assurance to an old worrier!   Psalm 91:4 has become such an important scripture for me over the past five years, that I want to share it with you today.

I would expect we all have a few worries weighing us down right now.  I know I do.  Being honest here, I struggle with worrying the cancer will come back.  I worry about Joel getting Covid-19...I worry I will get it, or our family members and what that could mean for them.  Do to childhood situations I experienced , being "safe" has always been at the top of my needs list.  Through Holy Spirit's guidance most of that has healed, but the last two years of cancer and surgeries and now the Covid-19 virus are whispering to me that the world is not safe, my world is not safe.  Yeah, I worry.......And many many times I am not even aware of how much those worries creep into my mind, body, and spirit.

But God is aware of how the enemy spends his time seeking to "kill, steal, and destroy", even in our worries.  In His deep love for us He wants us to know where our peace and courage lie.  It is in Him.  Today He opened the door for me to be aware that He is waiting for me to once again place all my worries in His more than capable hands.  All of us can place our worries in God's capable hands,  and by placing them in His hands, they become light as feathers!

ceramic feather given to me

by our oldest daughter

Where Is That Cabin In Alaska!

It has come to this............binge watching Life Below Zero and repeats of Death In Paradise and Magnum P.I.  Well, not really binging as we keep to our routine most days, while throwing in a game or two of cribbage or Scrabble.  But there are times when we (mostly me) escape through TV.  It has taken me back to a time when we were younger and had a house full of young kids "things" would sometimes feel overwhelming.  After seeing the movie, "Adventures Of The Wilderness Family" in 1979, whenever I felt like I needed a day away from it all, I would say, "It is time to move to that cabin in Alaska."  Of course I was not thinking about all the extra work involved in living off the grid, I just wanted to escape life in the moment!

Today I woke up and thought, "Nothing has changed since our world completely changed".  We are still in the nightmare to beat all nightmares.  We are still isolating at home.  We are still hearing from medical providers, including Mayo to cancel, reschedule, postpone, or set up video or phone appointments.  We are still searching for disinfectant in any way shape or form.  Still searching for cloth masks or figuring out how to make one that does not use rubber bands to hold it in place.  We are still watching the economy break, watching people we know struggle financially and in their jobs.   We are still unable to go anywhere but out for groceries.  We are still..............we are still...........

Yep, I woke up crabby and decided not to infect Joel with my poor attitude today. It is okay to be down and out, as someone very dear to me said, "We need to cut ourselves some slack....we are dealing with loss, with grief.  So very true.   Be kind to ourselves.....I was determined today to shift the atmosphere from darkness to light so I decided to take "action" this morning.  I cleaned a bathroom, did some mending, walked in the house 20 minutes,   Music played and my mind focused on what is "still the same" but now in a comforting way.  We still celebrated Easter.  In fact we watched 4 different Easter services on Sunday and Monday!  We still have a full freezer and fridge....plent of food, maybe too much?!!  We can still connect with our kids ~ on Easter it was by Zoom.  So fun to see there faces!  We still have everything we need and more in this season of our lives.  All I need to do is look around me....you too?  Yes.  And even though we are in the vulnerable category for this virus, we also are retired and have no job worries.  We are still able to reach out to God and He. Is. Here. For. Us. Never changing, always faithful.

Today may have had me thinking about that cabin in Alaska as I did so many years ago, but time and experience tells me that there is no need to be overwhelmed when we put our trust in God.  Joel and I read Psalm 91 this morning in several translations.  It is all about being safe and secure as we are tucked in the Secret Place under His wings.  He is bigger than any "pestilence" (virus).  Seeking shelter with God is truly better than any cabin I would want to escape to in the wilderness of Alaska!

Smack Dab In The Middle!

Is anyone else experiencing it?  There is a sense of foreboding, a fear or uneasiness about the unknown regarding the CoronoVirus.  It seems to permeate the air.  We may be experiencing a love/hate relationship with the media.......with the government........Conflicting statements, breaking news which is always breaking, and the daily change in numbers of cases and deaths.......where do we land in getting to the truth of it all when the truth is always changing?!  So unpredictable, so confusing, so dang scary.  Yeah......

As the pot called CoronoVirus is stirred, fear bubbles to the surface.  Granted, there may be a few of you who are not worried at all but as time passes we cannot help but be affected by what is happening in our own states, our country, our world.  Our hearts break for those who have lost loved ones, and our hearts might beat a bit faster for those we love who are in the middle of the "vulnerable" area for serious complications. And if we are one of the vulnerable?

Like all of you I have observed many different response to what is happening in our world.  Here we are with few options before us.  When I was diagnosed with advanced cancer in October 2018, we had options, the doctors we trusted had plans in place to fight a known disease  ~ Cancer.  Although we were told that there were no guarantees for a cancer free future, we had a plan that gave us some sense of control and actions to take.  I know many of you are nodding your heads in agreement, having gone through your own medical battles.  A plan and actions to take removes that helpless feeling and speaks of a future.

This time it is different.  It is a novel virus.  New.  It is a virus so antibiotics won't help.  It spreads quickly and according the experts it is more deadly for those ages 60-65 and older and those with underlying conditions such as Lupus, cancer, asthma, lung disease, heart disease, etc. etc. etc. We all want answers, action plans, and assurance that all will be well.  We want to be safe.

So, where do we turn when life is a roller coaster ride, whether it is due to the what ifs with the CoronoVirus, a diagnosis of cancer, or our finances bottoming out.  Do we minimize what we are facing?  Do we have a fatalistic outlook?  Whatever....it is what it is?  Do we just hang on tight with our fears and hope for the best?  Or do we take a deep breath, and remember God is with us.  Do we turn to the Word and find those verses that bring us God's truth and a sense of peace?

When I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease after 2 decades of sickness, I looked up everything I could on this debilitating disease.  I spent hours and hours becoming "informed" and ended up focused on the disease more than on my Healer.  I felt I had some control when I had knowledge.  Having knowledge is important, but for what reasons?  I began this CoronoVirus journey wanted to be fully informed and when information changed as data was gathered, I watched more, read more, picking certain experts to listen for.  It gave me some sense of control in a world that does not feel safe, but it was also exhausting and did not reduce my stress.  Knowledge is good, but only if we balance it with knowing Who we trust.   We can't always control our outcomes, so maybe we need to surrender our fears and need for control to Jesus.  God with us. 

The video seems to focus on one situation

but the words are for all of us!

It is important to keep our faith smack dab in the middle of this mess.  Prayer is not only smack dab in the middle of it all, but it is still our first line of defense for all challenges that get thrown at us.  As the Breaking New! continues to break, as the CoronoVirus currently continues to raise its ugly head, and as we filter out fears for facts let us remember to respond with faith.  The faith that Jesus gives us that lies smack dab in the middle!

Steady

Yesterday afternoon I sat with Joel in the retina section of our eye clinic waiting for an eye injection. Every three weeks we come to this place, wait with many others (77 on this day had gone through) for the Dr. to numb the eye and inject a medication that is drying up a leaking vessel, and saving my retina from further damage.  The scan taken showed my eye was holding steady. Steady.

While sitting in the waiting room my phone rang and the breast cancer nurse manager was on the line with results from the Oncotype dx tumor tissue test and also the echocardiogram I had Monday.  I went into the hallway for quiet space and she told me that the number given to my results was low.  Surprisingly low (a good thing).  Because of the number of lymph nodes involved everyone thought it would be high.  The tumor is still a Grade 2....but not acting like a grade 2.  A mystery.  Because of 5 nodes showing some level of cancer, the chances of it returning in 9 years with only hormonal treatments would be 57%.  So even though the number on the tumor is low, we are thinking that the doctors will want to proceed with chemo.  Again, results are not clear, but better than expected.  The results of my echo had shown some change from last fall.  Still in normal range but hmmmmm...... Steady as she goes, right?

I went back to sitting in the waiting room and soon I was called in.  The doctor has to first put numbing drops in, then lidocaine with a needle and then come back several minutes later and inject the medication. He needs steady hands for this procedure.  Steady

At 5:30 this morning I awoke with a start and found myself thinking about the echo and wondering why it had changed and what could I do to improve my heart function.  I had not been able to truly exercise since last Dec. but have started walking again.  I googled what could be done ~ Diet, exercise, medications, and of course the stress factor.  S.t.r.e.s.s.      I knew my numbers were still normal but had decreased some.  As I lay and went over it in my head, I realized I was replacing trust with worry. The word steady came to mind again.  Steady.  Firm.  I found some Julie True worship music on my phone and began to soak in her soothing melodies.  Steady.

As I refocused I also sought Words of affirmation.......be firm....be still.........know.......I am with you..........I fight for you.  Steady, now.  Focus...........steady dear child.........You've got this because I've got you........Breathe....worship.   Give thanks.  Know that you know that you know.

Are any of you readers finding yourselves in need of hearing these words?  Are you struggling with staying centered in His peace?  Is worry replacing your worship?  Someone is in need of hearing these words today.  Remember, friend...........He fights for you. He shields you.  He loves on you.  Just be still.....stay calm and steady.  He's got you.  Steady, now.  Steady. 

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday afternoon to you from our corner of Iowa where fog and rain has been hanging around.  Parts of Iowa are going to get a major snowstorm tonight and tomorrow, but so far, it is tracking to the south of us and we are not expecting any snow at all. 

Our Thanksgiving was a great celebration of family and good food.  And quite a few games of cribbage!  From the youngest to the oldest the table fills with kids, adults, and 4 cribbage boards.  In fact they usually take cards and a board back to the hotel at night.  We were able to celebrate with all but our Des Moines family.  The annual football game did not happen, but the family enjoyed a brisk walk after a meal of turkey, all the side dishes and pie, ice cream and bars.  Grandma Na spent more time on the sofa than she wanted, but it was fun to watch all the festivities.  We opened Christmas gifts Thursday evening as some people had to head back to other priorities.  Friday morning some of the grands decorated our Christmas tree, so we have been enjoying that already!  Everyone headed home Friday after Joel and I headed to the cancer center for labs, a Dr. appt. and more injections.  It was a good celebration with many memories to tuck away.

Kurschners

Mark and Noah

Sarah and Jonas

Our youngest daughter created a beautiful jar with lights and flowers for me.  Inside she had the family write notes of encouragement, Bible verses, etc. for me to take out and read when times are tough or I'm feeling sad.  It is a beautiful reminder of Who is with me, fighting for me, and who lovcs and prays for me. I am richly blessed.

Jar filled with love and encouragement

Saturday Joel and I went on a short adventure to a local store called Mason City Real Deals.  So festive!  We did not purchase anything, but it felt good to get out and do something that did not involve doctors.  Joel was going to put up outdoor lights, but a few were not working...... again....... so we decided to just trash the old lights and buy new ones in an easier style.

Our oldest daughter and her family gave me a plaque that sits on our coffee table within view.  A reminder for me that because God has me, I've got this.  Another family gave us a framed photo of their kids......a good reminder of why we fight for living.  Just being with family was such a blessing.  

I hope and pray your Thanksgiving weekend was filled with an abundance of blessings!  We have much to rejoice about.  So grateful!

Bumps, Bruises, And Hallelujahs

It could have been so much worse.  The what-ifs formed a long list, but the hallelujahs outnumbered them.  The story itself is funny, scary, and as old as time.  

On Wednesday afternoon I was taking something to the garbage bin in the garage, and as I walked briskly to the container I tripped.  I tripped hard over a solid plank of wood Joel has on the floor that guides him where to stop the SUV when he drives in.  I moved forward trying to keep my balance.  First one shoe fell off...........then the other.  As momentum gathered I went at least 10 feet ahead, slamming into the garage door as I went down.  I hit my right upper back and then my head against the garage door, coming down on my left arm and knee before rolling twice and coming to a stop on my belly and face.  My sunglasses flew off the top of my head, my glasses were half off my face, and I found myself laying in a puddle of rain water.  

Joel was watching from the kitchen door, and was frozen at first in fear as he saw and then heard me hit the door and floor.  He said he came over expecting to see blood or a broken limb, or even me laying unconscious.  Meanwhile, anger rose up in me.  and he heard me yell, "NO, NO, NO!  This is NOT happening to me."   It was just two weeks ago I walked into Joel's new office, forgetting you had to step down two steps, and I fell, this time landing on my feet and against a desk.  Now this??!?

If you found yourself giggling when you read my story, I get that.  Later on I did too, but Joel said it was not funny to watch.  It was really scary.........he checked me out before he helped me up and into the house.  It did not take long to be giving thanks that nothing appeared broken or badly hurt.  I got cleaned up, put on comfy clothes and we covered my back from top to bottom with essential oils mixed in coconut oil.  I immediately asked a few prayer warriors to pray and give thanks.  We watched and waited but nothing more came to light.  

Today we are giving thanks that only a few bruises are showing up.  My lower back is always an issue but it is holding and just achy like much of my body.  Stiff and achy, but nothing like we expected! We keep shaking our heads and giving thanks that this body is doing okay after such a bad fall.  Hallelujahs just keep coming!  I'm thinking a guardian angel cushioned my fall.  It could have been so much worse!  These bumps and bruises will fade.  Our hallelujahs expressed with gratitude and thankfulness will last forever!

And that plank of wood on the garage floor??  I have bumped into that before and this time, well, this time was the very last time that will be happening.  It is gone.  And a tennis ball hanging down from the ceiling of the garage has replaced it!  At least I can't trip over that!

Squirrels, Snakes, And The Thief

When Joel and I were first married he took me squirrel hunting.  Joel grew up with a gun in his hand, and hunting was a major part of his and his family's life (until he joined the military).  I had already experienced deer and duck hunting with him, but squirrels?  One fall day we went to the woods behind his Aunt and Uncle's farm, looking for squirrels.  We came to an area where the sun was shining brightly, and as we walked through, it was like the whole meadow was moving.  It was filled with garter snakes sunning themselves.  When we moved through the grass, they moved, When we stopped they would stop moving and lift their heads.  Joel had never seen anything like it before and I, well I was terrified!  It was the creepiest thing ever.  Ugh.  We did go home with squirrel and skinned and cooked it.  It tasted like skinny dry chicken.  It was my first and our last experience in squirrel hunting.  We never hunted, cooked, or ate squirrel again.  Seriously, a good decision on our part!

Today I was thinking about that warm fall day so many years ago and all those snakes.  They were pretty invisible until they raised their heads.  Of course it shifted my mind right to the big ol' snake that is so sneaky and slimy in our lives.  Satan.  He is invisible to the naked eye, but when he raises his head?  Yeah.....he lets us know he is there.  He is really relentless in pursuing God's children and in conquering the earth.

The thing is, he has already lost the war against God and His children.  We already have the victory.
The thief and his buddies work hard to "kill, steal, and destroy" but even in death the victory is ours in Christ Jesus!

I have learned that when the enemy comes against us, it is a good thing to take a position of standing firm.  "I see you (Satan) and I refuse to partner with you.  I send you to the foot of the cross in Jesus name".  He comes against us in sickness, disease, our thoughts, our feelings, and more.  Keeping our focus on Jesus and His goodness and putting on that full armor of God the Ephesians talks about helps us remember the battles are already over.  And we win!

I love looking back and seeing how God works all things out for good in our lives.  If I had been able to look ahead those first months of marriage and see all that would occur in the 50 years ahead I probably would have said, "Jesus take me Home now!".  Yet God has walked through it all with us.  And that ol' snake may look scary at times, but we are empowered by Holy Spirit to walk in victory.

Our Place Of Safety

It is National Police Week and with our son having served his city as a police officer for 20 years, we are proud to support the police and what they do for our cities, counties, and states.  So often the news only brings up the "bad" cops for us to view and some people tend to think they are all bad.  So not true.  Food for thought:  There are bad cops, bad teachers, bad pastors, bad factory workers, etc.  A percentage of "bad" can be found in every part of society.

We have been blessed to have had only good experiences with the police in our lives.  When Joel's life was threatened by a mentally disturbed church member, we were grateful when 5 squad cars showed up at our house and escorted us safely out of town.  We had plain clothed police officers sitting in our pews for a while as the threat was ongoing.  Spending over 6 years with an unpredictable, threatening parish member living blocks away from us in our town, we felt safer knowing the police were doing what they could to keep Joel and the family safe.

Over the years, more than once we ended up calling the police because of violent acts that we were observing. Being a pastor and family came with some unusual situations.  A few years ago a suspect the police were chasing ended up hiding in the attic of our garage.  Our dog Levi alerted me to something not being right......eventually I saw the man through a window and called the police.   While in Montana Joel officiated at funerals for 3 murder victims, when three California felons came through while trying to escape to Canada.  I have often said I should write a book about our experiences, but I would probably have to go into the witness protection program.  (wink).  Our experiences with the police have  been positive and we are grateful for them.

Safety is important to all of us I expect.  For me, as a child I did not feel always safe, and rightfully so.  But it carried over into adulthood and made my life stressful.  Even with all the healing that has taken place and the knowledge of God's deep abiding love for His kids, more often than I want to admit, I still have to remind myself that I am safe.  We are safe.  The world, the media, TV shows and movies all scream at us that we are not safe.  So, as Susie Davis, author of "Unafraid:  Trusting God In An Unsafe World", asks...."How do we live unafraid?"

Whether we are observing the chaos of the world, facing a medical crisis, or struggling with worry about our family or friends,  we have a choice.  Susie Davis says, "We can be aware of the terrible without forgetting the beautiful. We can look up with joy and realize the remarkable truth:  Jesus wants to take our fear and give us, in its place true peace."  And I would add His love.  "Perfect love casts out fear."

When Joel's life was threatened and the circumstances continued for years, we did what we could to keep the family safe, and we stepped out in faith trusting God's Word.  We remembered over and over that He was with us, and He was our shelter, our place of safety.

The other day I was meditating and I kept seeing the head of a cat.  I tried to remove the image and focus on Jesus, but Jesus interrupted my efforts with the word FEAR.  I immediately remembered hearing myself say....."I love cats but they carry tick Bartonella, a disease I suffered with for years.  Then I thought about what fears I had voiced regarding ticks.....and fears about health issues....and......and...... Jesus then took me to a mountain labeled FEAR and I saw myself putting bricks on it, building it up.  Jesus would take one off, I would put one back on.  Eventually I heard Him say with power, "FEAR NOT".  When he said those words the mountain immediately exploded.  It sounded and looked so real to me I physically jumped.  I heard Jesus say again....'Fear Not!"  Holy Spirit then moved on me making His presence known.

It was a wonderful reminder of Jesus being with us day in and day out.  A reminder of His promises, of His love.  One of my favorite verses is found in Psalm 4.

In peace I will lie down and sleep,

 for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe."

Psalm 4:8

We are blessed to have our military and our police who work hard in difficult circumstances to keep us protected and safe.  We are all blessed beyond measure to have our Lord by our side.  He has told us to "fear not" over 365 times in scripture.  He is with us in life and in death.  God is always our shelter, our place of safety.  So grateful.

Nevertheless.......

Joel has already put over 100 miles on his recumbent bike.  He is riding 10 to 15 miles at a time, working his way out of the winter slack and lack, and getting his legs back into the groove of his favorite past time.  He loves biking in nature and with the arrival of Spring he is on his way!

It is great to have this long winter finally behind us.  I love having the doors open, listening to the sounds outside......birds singing.......kids playing.....adults talking.  No longer cooped up in our houses we greet our neighbors and catch up on porch sitting.  Yards are being raked and fertilized, hostas and flowers nurtured.  Baskets and pots of flowers are brightening up the neighborhood.  We have not yet purchased any plants, but I'm hoping to find a black-eyed Susan vine.  I love their happy faces!

When winter lingered this year it was hard to remember that Spring was coming.  Snow piled high......nevertheless, we knew it would eventually melt...it would warm up....Spring would arrive.  And it did.

This morning I listened to Joel Osteen preach on TBN.  He is a bit of a dessert preacher....certainly not one that gives me much meat and potatoes, but he does bring truth to what he speaks.  Today he was talking about having a "nevertheless" attitude.  The doctor's report is not good.........nevertheless God's Word says_______.   Struggling with my finances.......nevertheless God will provide.  Things will improve.    Relationships are strained......nevertheless God's love heals.  We persist because we stand in the "nevertheless" of knowing God and His promises.

This winter season was tough and long.  In nature and in life.  It was hard to not dwell on the snow and cold still gracing us in the middle of April.  It has also been hard to not dwell on the health issues that have persisted for me. 

So what to do?  I'm thinking we add "nevertheless" to our vocabulary and to our attitude.  Nevertheless the snow will melt and Spring will come!  Nevertheless, God is walks with us through circumstances.....We are able to rest in this knowledge and persist in our belief.  We embrace the nevertheless.

Nevertheless shifts the atmosphere.  Nevertheless shifts our belief.  Nevertheless puts our focus back on Papa God and His promises.  Nevertheless helps us to remember.......God is faithful.  God is with us.  His Word is truth.  No matter what the seasons bring, nevertheless there is God.  Only God.  So grateful.

Let Me Tell You A Story

Recently we listened to Pastor Kris Vallotton speak about a very difficult time in his life.  A number of circumstances came together to put him into a deep depression.  It was 5 months before he saw a glimmer of hope,as he lay on the sofa day after day.  With medication and prayer he slowly improved.  He said, "The day I experienced one hour without depression I told the devil he should have killed me".............because now he (Kris) was going to tell the world how God saved him from the enemy's destruction."  From that winter season of his life came the book "Spirit Wars" which is still helping others.  Since this time of struggle he has used the winter seasons of his life to write books and bring God glory, making his story God's story.

Recently I read a story about a woman who felt it was her calling to help those God sent her way.  She was going to a store one day and as she pulled into the parking lot a young man came up to her window, put a gun to her head and told her to get out or he would kill her.  She him that he did not really want her car because so many things were wrong with it.  He replied, "Get out or I will shoot you."  At that moment Holy Spirit whispered to her, "He is suicidal."  She said to him, "You are  having suicidal thoughts" and with surprise in his voice he told her he was.  She told him to go around and get in the car.....when he did she shared with him about Jesus and prayed for him, also breaking off a spirit of suicide.  He left her car and walked away that day a different man.  Her story, this one story really speaks of her faith, boldness ( some people might think more.....rashness)  and God's glory.  Wow. Don't you just love this?!

Not all stories are so dramatic, for sure.  Yet I expect each of us has at least a story or two to share about how God has been faithful.............protective.............healing.............loving...........Whether we call them testimonies, faith stories, or "coincidences" they tell others how God is with us through the best of the best and the worst of the worst.

One of Joel's stories of protection has been written about here before. We were selling our car in the Philippine Islands before heading home to the states.  He received a call from a Filipino man who wanted to see the car in the hopes of buying it.  When Joel picked him up he had a buddy with him.  Joel drove them around Angeles City, a heavily populated city right outside the base.  As they drove the one young man started directing Joel where to go.  At one point he told Joel to turn left which would take them to a rural unpopulated area.  As Joel waited to turn he heard a strong voice in his head say, "Don't turn!"  When Joel hesitated he heard the voice again....."Do not turn!"  Joel knew it was God speaking to him and he immediately drove to a very busy area, stopped the car and got out.  He then told the two men to get out of the car and leave.  As they did, they stole his calculator but he firmly told them to put it back, keeping his distance from them. As soon as they walked away he got in the car and drove home.

It was only a couple of days later he heard about a man from the base who had been showing his car to two young men and these men had him drive to a rural area, where they stabbed and robbed him, stealing the car in the process.

Before Joel had gone out to try and sell the car we had prayed about it, asking for his protection because life was pretty chaotic in this third world country where people lived in such deep poverty and lack.  God heard our prayers and intervened that day.

Our stories are God's stories and I never tire of hearing them or sharing them.  It is always encouraging to hear the many ways God works in our lives.  Our stories becoming His stories.  They put the devil in his place of defeat and God in His place of glory. 

A Goalie, A Puck And A Battle Plan

I happened to come across the USA women's hockey team and watched for awhile.  I noticed the goalie is always on the defensive.  Always alert, looking for that puck to come into her path, as the opposite team attempts to score.  She is wearing lots of armor ~ protective gear, making her ready for the battle. The team is there working to stop the puck from getting into the zone, but the goalie is really fighting the battle alone as she guards the net.

I sometimes feel like that goalie......do you?  Always on alert when the enemy tries to "score" with sickness, trauma, even death.  We wear the armor of God and we have a battle plan, but sometimes we forget that we are not alone as we work hard to keep the opposite team from scoring.  Never alone.

That ol' enemy comes around like a roaring lion as we read in scripture.  James 4:7 tells us more of how to stand in the battle.  "Submit to God, resist the devil, and he will flee from you".  FIRST we submit to God.  In the Greek it is more of a coming close to God.  A good place to be, isn't it.  In the shelter of His wings.  Coming close suggests intimacy, relationship.  Having that relationship with God gives us what we need to resist the devil.  And when we resist....guess who has to flee?  He HAS to.  He cannot hang around.  What a great promise!

Aren't you glad we are not left to fight alone?  Most of us have family and a faith community to walk with us with prayer, support, and encouragement, but more importantly we have God.  The Lord fights for us.  Just rest in that.........

Wearing the armor and staying alert are important keys to walking a life of faith, but we are never to forget that God is with us.  Draw close to Him, in relationship with Him, and the results will be good.
We will dwell in the safety of His wings...........such a good place to be.  So grateful.

What Is Normal?

About 4 weeks after my first eye shot for a vessel leaking in the left eye, my vision went "wonky".  Reading was difficult because with that eye the sentences were wavy....and vertical lines were too.  Also, looking with my left eye, faces were distorted and vision was low. My right eye was having trouble tracking with this change.

Can I just say, this was so not okay?!  I was trying to stay in peace but was tossed about on a sea of emotions. I called the eye specialist on Monday morning and saw the retina doctor yesterday afternoon.  Side note:  When did doctors start looking like they are 12 years old to me??

After I was examined, I was told everything looked "normal".  No bleeding, no real swelling.  Probably just fluid from the leaking vessel that moved and caused these problems.  "Normal".  Seriously? He wanted me to accept that this is normal?  Maybe in his world, but not in mine.  It is difficult enough to be the youngest by far of anyone waiting to take their turns with tests, exams, and injections.  Younger most likely because of the damage from that $#%&@ Lyme.  I get that, and there was some relief to hear that even though symptoms are worse, damage isn't, but I don't think I will ever accept that this is normal. 

I don't like this one bit, and refuse to partner with the word, "normal" when dealing with this condition, but I am grateful right now for the medical help. I never forget, though, that my true Helper goes by the title Papa.....Daddy.....Father. When I was talking to God about it all, He blessed me via Facebook, with words from Brian Simmons of The Passion Translation.  Words that fit so well, I tucked them into my heart along with the promises God has placed on my life.

"What you call delay, God call's preparation.  Many times God is at work behind the scenes, yet you cannot discern it.  God is preparing others so that your destiny may be fulfilled and God is preparing you even as He prepared Joseph for his season of promotion.  Never judge God's works by what your eyes see but by the promises He has made to you.  He will fulfill His word, and your eyes will see the miracles of His hand."

Here is what I consider normal.......bringing your needs to God.  Speaking to your "mountains" with the authority Jesus has given us.  Letting Holy Spirit guide us in all areas of our lives.  God is so good to grace us with just what we need.  And He is so good to remind us of His promises.  His Word sets the normal setting for us in life. 

Miracles ahead!  I look forward to miracles being the norm.   We won't need them in Heaven, everything is perfect there, but when His Kingdom comes on earth as it is in Heaven?  When we do as he commanded...."Heal the sick....cast out demons....." ?  When miracles and healing are part of our churches, homes, communities?  Yeah......I look forward to that kind of normal.  Meanwhile, I stand on His promises and rejoice in the miracles we do see. I don't know how a person lives without our Papa God to depend on.  So grateful. 

Feathers From God

We have been making plans for our trip out West to Bethel Church in Redding CA.  As we prepare to drive 28 hours toward's the # 1 place on our "Adventures In God" list, anxiety has risen up in little ol' me. All the preparation to go, plus the what ifs, the finances, the hotels, etc.  God is not surprised by the worry that rises up.  He has made it perfectly clear that He is leading the way.

We will be sitting under Bethel's ministry for 10 days, staying in a church member's guest home called "His Healing Wings"......renting a room and having access to the living and cooking space, etc.  A new adventure to share a house with others who desire to sit under this ministry that draws thousands from around the world.

I have been asking God for a verse to hold on to during this time of planning, traveling, encountering, and experiencing new places and new people, and more of God.   The verse God gave me comes from Psalm 91....... He sent me this verse when I was going through radiation and I wrote about it HERE.  I printed off a picture sent to me by a friend in 2015 that brought this verse to light.  It still is taped to our cupboard.

 He has once again sent me verse 4 of Psalm 91 several times.  First on Facebook and then through a Pinterest email that sent me several different Bible journaling pictures of the same verse all at once AND not at my request.  I just know they came from God.

One of the Pinterest pins sent to me

God also reminded me of His promise this week when Joel came into the house carrying a big feather.  "Look what was outside the door", he said!  It was a feather from an owl that has been taking up residence in our yard.  Today, yet another feather, this one small and dainty. Do you remember that the name of the home we are staying in is "Healing in His Wings"?   Those same wings that cover us and keep us safe.    Isn't God just amazing?

God's reminders

God knows me well, and being safe is a big issue for me.  Sozo ministry has broken the chains that bound me to a fear that controlled my life in ways only Joel knows about, but there are still moments in time when it resurfaces.  God in His infinite patience and love keeps reminding me of His promises....He is my place of safety........

He is your place of safety too.  Your refuge as you experience your own adventures with life.....and new adventures with God.  It is a promise for every one of us to hold on to.

When we do head out the door and climb into our comfy new-to-us SUV, we will be bringing along the feather He provided, as a reminder that He does cover us with His wings.  He is our place of refuge.

Not So Much...........

Limb on our Roof

We woke up around midnight Sunday night to thunder, lightening, and some very strong winds.  The wind was "loud", making sounds like I have never heard before.  When I got out of bed and looked out the window I could see the trees bending to the ground and turning from side to side.  Just then something hit the roof hard, waking Joel and causing me to jump and duck.  In agreement we headed downstairs to a safer level.  The storm passed quickly, and Joel went out in the dark to assess the damage, commenting that the branch was not as big as he thought it would be considering the noise it made.  We decided it could all wait until morning and headed back to bed.

Split tree on walking path

In the daylight we woke to a mess of small branches and twigs covering the yard, driveway, and street.  Several neighbors had branches down in their yards and one had a large part of the tree that split down the side.  On our walking path I saw a thick limb that had split off......at least 25-30 feet long.  Just east of us a mile or so another association was hit hard.  Trees across the road, electrical lines down and lots of green debris, everywhere.  The newscaster said there were 75 mph straight line winds.  They did not look or act like straight line winds here in our back yard, but they sure were strong........and loud!  It took Joel 8 hours to pick up all the branches, leaves, and debris.

neighbor's tree

In the dead of night, it all sounded so scary, but the next morning when we opened doors and stepped out into the neighborhood along with others, we realized things could have been so much worse.  The branch hitting our roof sounded like a cannon going off.  We thought maybe a tree came down, but not so.  In the daylight hours we could see it was not as bad as it sounded and our house and roof were intact.

Today Joel was over to the neighbor's helping her cut up a big limb that split off her tree.  She had already removed all the branches off so Joel just took a chain saw to it.  She thanked him over and over, but his sincere response was "Hey, I was able to use my tools!"  Did I mention that she is 87 and still mows, mulches, landscapes, and tends her garden?  She can add cutting and carrying limbs to her resume now too.  Yeah.....J. is a powerhouse who loves to be outside and working!  At 87.  Wowza.

This storm reminded me of the storms that come suddenly in life.  We've had a few ~ you too?  One minute all is good and then suddenly it is not.  And sometimes the challenges we face sound sooooo darn loud!  They scream at us,  and look so powerful.  They shake us in the valley of darkness, but when God's light shines on them, we are able to see them differently. Do we tell God how big our problems are or do we tell our problems how big God is!  What looks insurmountable, is diminished when Jesus walks with us. What looks and sounds ginormous .....not so much in the Presence of Jesus.  Not so much.

In The Heat and Humidity, Memories Surface

It was hot and muggy here in our corner of the world, and this kind of weather always takes me back to the two years we lived in The Philippine Islands.  Joel, a lieutenant in the Air Force was forecasting weather for pilots at Clark Air Base and because it was an "accompanying" tour, we moved there in July of 1974.

Barrio in P.I.

 I can remember clearly the intense humidity, heat, and smells that hit us when we got off the plane. It seemed difficult to get a full breath, the air was so heavy.  Eventually our bodies adjusted enough to tolerate it, but these upper midwesterners never did come to love the climate, like some.

We did grow to love the Filipino people we met, though.  As part of an unspoken government policy there, we hired local Filipinos to work for us while living there~  doing yard work, making our clothes or even living with families as full time maids.  Most rental houses off base had rooms for maids right off the kitchen.  We became very close to our first maid, Ampharo (Amphy).  She was such a feisty, tiny, little thing whom we grew to love.  When we were there Marcos was President and Marshall Law was in place.  You could not leave your home after 10 pm or risk being shot.  Our maid Amphy whispered his name, if she ever talked about him.......fear was that embedded in the people.  He, like their present day leader was not someone you wanted to cross.  For the most part, caution came more for those who roamed the jungle.  I recall being at the Baptist Servicemen's Club off base and talking with some missionaries who were there.  They had been driven out of the area where they were doing mission work by those who were then called, "guerrillas".  What today we probably call terrorists.  Their lives were at risk so they had left the jungle village they called home.  Sometimes we could hear gunfire at night from our home off base.  These guerrillas would often shoot at our planes as they took off from the base airport where Joel worked.  I don't know who the Filipino feared most......their leader or those who roamed the jungles.  As Dorothy told Toto....."We were not in Kansas anymore!"  (Or Minnesota)

Living in a third world country with deep poverty and political turmoil had a profound affect on our lives.  The war was winding down in Viet Nam and Clark had an active part in what took place.  It was a chaotic and unpredictable time.  Two of our neighbors were in undercover work off base.  and some of the stories we heard from them were scary, although we never had any trouble to speak of.  I do recall our oldest daughter saying to me one day recently, "You know it was not normal to go to preschool with bars and wire on the windows of the school bus!"  Sometimes I wonder what we were thinking to let them go anywhere!  But off they went, both Beth and Matt and have their own stories to tell about their preschool days off base.

Everyone hired 24/7 guards who walked around with rifles.  I am not so sure they were helpful, but we also lived with bars on all our windows in the house we rented.  The house had a cement fence surrounding it and a metal gate that locked at night so no one could steal your car.  There was more than once that our son Matt woke us to tell us people were outside the window speaking a language he did not understand.  He was 3 at the time.  Security lights, thick heavy metal bars, and heavy doors with bolts that went into the floor helped us stay safe.  We had no phone.  No cells around at that time and no land line for us off base.  When Joel worked nights I did not sleep so well, but otherwise I felt pretty safe at home.  I will say, if your car stalled along the way to Clark Air Base, it was better to stay with it and wait for another American to come by than to find help among the locals.  At the time, many of the young Filipino men did not like Americans.  It was just the way it was.

I will repeat, though, that we loved the Filipino people we were friends with, and also their help to acclimate to the culture.  We visited Amphy's family in the barrio a few times and went to the home of our "sew woman" during Good Friday rituals down in Angeles City.  We shopped in a local open market, and traveled on 3 crazy journeys to Mania while in the process of adopting.  More than once we drove narrow winding roads up to a military resort area in the mountains.   I truly think God had special angels that followed us around when I look back and remember all the things that did, or almost did happen.  Lots of interventions took place, keeping us all safe.

Our favorite painting from the P.I.

A father and son..........

And maybe that is the point of this rambling blog post of memories that surfaced in the heat and humidity of summer.  God was with us keeping us safe. We had amazing experiences ~ the good far outweighing any of the bad.  Our family grew by two, and friends we met there still hold a place in our hearts.  God walked with us continually, and we know without a doubt it was all part of His plan for us~~ living in the Philippines those two years.  Forty-three years later, we still speak of it.  Only God.

A Firm Grip

  We had been visiting Joel's folks at the farm.  I woke up and went downstairs to find his mom getting ready to cut our son Matt's hair.  I was not brave enough to say anything, but turned around and ran upstairs to get Joel.  He let his mom know she was not to cut our son's hair.  It was long, yes.....it was the 70's and Matt was sporting a thick mop of hair.  Lots of bangs!  We were very grateful for that hair just a few months later.

Joel, Beth, Matt, and myself were visiting friends in the Canadian bush that summer of 1973.  We had rented a tent camper and were spending a week at their Christian camp in the bush country.  It was a sunny day when we set out to explore, using canoes to paddle our way.  We stopped to eat our picnic lunch on a large rock area.  After eating, our son Matt, age 2, went to play by the water.  Suddenly he fell in and I ran as fast as I could to the water.  He had already disappeared, so I reached down into the water searching, and found his long hair.  I grabbed hold, pulling hard to get him to the surface.  I don't think I stopped shaking for the rest of the day.

Matt age 3

It seems that this lovely picnic sight, with the beautiful water and level rock surface was the top of what continued to be a cliff underneath where currents ran strong.  He was being pulled underneath into an area where we could not reach him when I grabbed him by that thick mop of hair.  How thankful we were that my wariness around water got me to Matt in record time....how grateful we were that Matt's thick blonde hair gave me something to grip when I wrestled with the current to bring him back to the surface and into my arms.  Only God.

A good analogy of how God cares for us, don't you think?  We believe we are in a good place and everything looks great, but there is danger hidden from us.....yet not from God.  He knows what is coming and He keeps His eye on us.  He has a "firm grip" on us as we read in the book of Isaiah.  Our Papa God, as a loving parent, watches over us, often rescuing us when necessary.

"Do not be afraid, neither be dismayed, 

for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Joshua 1:9  

"I'll give you strength.  I'll help you.  

I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you."

Isaiah 41:10

Absolute Surrender

It began last fall..........the verse showed up in my vision through social media and I wrote my first post about it in mid September.....

"The Lord your God will fight for you......just stay calm."  

Exodus 14:14

This verse had jumped out at me in the questions I pondered.  And then my intuitive daughter Bethany and her family gave us a wall hanging for Christmas that resonated another translation of it.

Thus began God's persistence in bringing His Words to my attention.  Over the past four months that verse has popped up often ~ I' m thinking at least 9 times counting the one from this week that has me putting pen to paper.  

God is making a point, and as much as I don't always like the message I need to embrace it.  Just be still.... you need only be still......and let me fight for you.  

This is difficult for me....being still.   When I was sofa bound I had no choice but to be still in a broken body.  When I was set free, I vowed to never be on the sofa again, so it can be emotionally challenging for me to be still and let go.  Echoes of the past make it hard.  And speaking of echoes of the past, the "be still"l takes me back to the six year old little girl who fought against the abuse to her body.  I would resist, striving to get away, but eventually the strength and size of the abuser would overpower me.  It left an imprint on my brain.  When I could no longer resist, I was still, and bad things happened.

In my mind I know these are lies now, and Sozo has released me from most of the trauma surrounding these seasons of my life.  I know that I don't have to always be the fighter, the resistor, the striver.  I know I am safe now, but at times the old way of survival rises from the grave.  And sometimes my urge to fight my own battles gets in the way of what God is doing.  Just saying............

In the past, when God has sent me the same verses over and over again from different sources, he wants my attention.  I confess many of those times were connected to God trying to tell me to rest in him....be quiet in Him.....be still in Him. It is what I now describe as "absolute surrender"......words came to me from God as I meditated with Him this morning.  Absolute surrender requires absolute trust.  

Can you relate?  We hear all the time we are to fight to win the race....even Paul tells us that in the battle.  But in truth we cannot do this alone.  I'm sure God is not done showing me what he wants me to grasp from this subject, but today I am holding on to the comforting words that HE is my defender and I can trust Him.  I can lean back in His arms as the "little girl" and be safe.  I can lean back into His arms as an adult and trust Him to fight for me.  I don't need to always be fighting my way out of disease or distress.  God wants me to let go of the old way of living and trust Him.  He wants us all to trust Him with our past, our present, our future.  We look to Him alone.

When we trust God, when we believe His promises, when we understand Jesus as our healer, protector, provider, friend, warrior......then we can let Him fight for us and be at rest about it.  It is not that we stop doing our part, but we learn to stop striving alone, and walk forward from a place of knowing we have the victory through Jesus!  We give Him absolute surrender knowing that He fights our battles and that no one can stop the Lord almighty!   

                             

   

It Could Be Worse

With all the latest technology at our beck and call, we had known about the coming ice storm practically before it formed.  For days we were told to prepare for a major ice, sleet, rain, and snow event. We watched it raise havoc across the plains with damage to trees, property, and human life.

We did what we could to get ready......enough water~ ck.  candles~ ck.  bananas~ck.  (ok, that may sound weird but we get a bit crabby when we are out of bananas!) We planned on not leaving the house on Monday and settled in for the wait.

 For us the freezing rain started after midnight and continued.....and continued....until late Monday night.  It could be worse.  The roads are thick with ice and standing water in places too.  All schools cancelled.  No travel unless necessary.  Still, it could be worse.  We did not lose power in town, there was little wind and under an 1/8 inch of ice I think, so the branches are still all attached to the trees!

It could have been worse.  I think this is a phrase that somehow brings comfort to us..........whether in a ice storm or a storm of circumstances.  Things could be worse.  And I just need to say it.........things could be better too. And how about the phrase, "It is what it is".  I find those five words to be depressing for me.  When hit hard with a storm in life I don't want to hear or find myself saying, "It is what it is."  Back to the storms..............

Just how do we prepare for the storms in life?  The kind that make us weak in the knees.  Unfortunately, we often do not have prior warning of what is coming.  Something blindsides us.  Smack.  So it might just be a good idea to always be prepared for the storms.  Not in a fatalistic way, nor expecting the worst....but just knowing that the enemy would like nothing better than to hit us hard and lay us flat.  He works at it, believe you me.

So we prepare ahead of time.  We put on the full armor of God.

1.  Helmet of Salvation ~ ck.  We take care of that need for salvation.  Eternal life is ours!
2.  Breastplate of Righteousness~ ck.  We know we are sons and daughters of the KING!
3.  Belt of Truth ~ ck.  We wear it to hold everything up.  The Truth....His Truth!
4.  Shoes of Peace, Good news~ ck.  Where does our peace come from?  From Jesus and His Word.
5.  Shield of Faith ~ ck.  Keep it with you at all times....stopping the fiery arrows of the devil.
6.  Sword of the Spirit ~ ck.  His Word is powerful....Use it like a weapon!
7.  Prayer ~ ck.  Pray without ceasing.......
8.  Adding to the list..........Rest.~ ck.  Stay calm and let Him fight for us!!

These weapons prevent, prepare, protect.

And lets not forget the name of Jesus........the blood of Jesus........Scriptures declared.......and Praise!  All of this helps us be ready for the storms that come............or try to come against us.  God has not left us vulnerable.  No, He has not.  He has given us ways to prepare and stand firm and He fights for us. It could be worse.........and with the list above it will be a whole lot better!!!