A Firm Grip

For the past 25 years I have lived with chronic illnesses. Two years ago my world shifted off its axle when I was told I had Late Stage Neurological Lyme Disease that had gone undiagnosed for 23 yrs. After 2 years of treatment progress has been made, but my doctor tells me I will be fighting this for the rest of my life along with CFS and other illnesses.

In early June of this year my husband, Joel, was also diagnosed with Neurological Lyme Disease. His illness probably dates back 10 years when he was fighting a mysterious sickness for 6 months that was labeled “Post Viral Syndrome” due to all blood tests being negative. Like me, no one ever checked for Lyme at the onset of our illnesses.

We are stunned and finding all this difficult to grasp. Joel is Senior Pastor of a larger congregation and due to my health issues he commutes to work an hour away. He is also my caregiver as I am housebound and mostly live my life from my sofa sanctuary. Our world has been turned upside down and at times I find myself worried about how we will get through this turn of events.

The morning after Joel’s diagnosis God comforted me with the familiar words of Isaiah 40:28-31.

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is an everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, the will walk and not be faint.”

As I clung to these verses and prayed for God’s strength, I picked up The Message to read a different translation, and my eyes were drawn to Isaiah 41 where God is speaking to Jacob.

“Don’t panic. I’m with you. There is no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you………….That’s right. Because I, your God, have a firm grip on you and I’m not letting you go. I’m telling you, don’t panic. I’m right here to help you.”

It became very clear to me that God was in the midst of our situation, and He wanted to reassure us that we could rely on His promises to be with us.

God being such a loving God, has continued this week to remind us of His promises in Isaiah through devotionals and a sermon I listened to live at Saddleback Church, where Buddy Owens spoke on “desert experiences” and how God meets us in the desert, giving us the strength we need to walk through them. He also promises a place of spiritual growth and God will be glorified in it. Isaiah 40:3-5 gives us that promise:

A voice of one calling: “In the desert prepare the way for the Lord……And the glory of the Lord will be revealed and all mankind together will see it. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken”.

We do feel we are going through a wilderness experience, but we have already found “streams in the desert” that God has provided which are nourishing us along with way. Joel’s gift of paid medical leave, a wonderful Lyme specialist, an allergy practitioner who is helping us heal, encouraging and faithful friends, my blogging and support groups who understand the journey, and the prayers of our family and friends have all nourished and strengthened us. We are truly blessed.

Throughout all our lives, there are times when we all have desert experiences. We don’t know what the future holds for us, but we do know WHO holds the future. And we also know who holds us in His firm grip. He has promised to not let go. He has promised to give strength to the weary and power to the weak. He will meet us in the desert and not only will we soar on wings like eagles, but God's glory will be revealed!! We are blessed.

Spiritual Sundays

Lately I have been spending quiet time with my Lord and visualizing a garden where I go to sit quietly and wait for God to speak with me. The first time this happened the words "be content" came to mind but I did not want to hear them. I was not content with our current situation and wanted things to change. The second time I heard the words, "Be willing".......Willing, Lord? Willing to be, to do, what Lord? Willing to be content? Today as I visualized sitting in the garden the words that came to mind were..."be silent".

I think know what God is trying to tell me. I need to be content with our circumstances, be willing to let God's plan unfold before us, and accept our tomorrows ...but God, this is not what I had planned! Be silent.

And with the words, be content, be willing, and be silent, Psalm 46:10 comes to mind:

"Be still and know that I am God."

You can find Spiritual Sundays at www.bloggerspirit.blogspot.com

Encouragement Award

Jan Lyn over at Off The Beaten Path awarded me this "true heart award".

"Those who receive this award are of the sweetest nature. They are kind, friendly, funny, loving, eager to share their love for Jesus with others, and brave in their efforts to reflect Him to this darkened world. They are the kind of folks you're blessed to know, even if it's only in the bloggy-sphere."

How nice of you Jan Lyn. Thank you so much for thinking of me. I would send it right back to you. A blessing you are to everyone who visits you! I would also award this to Lisa at Lisa Buffaloe. I know I can always find serenity, hope, and encouragement interwoven within their love for the Lord expressed in the written word.

Prayed Together

Our 41st anniversary is this week. 41 years! I feel so very blessed to have Joel as my soulmate. It is one of the reasons why I know how much God loves me! He brought Joel into my life.

Speaking of God, the story of how we met and married is a good one. In 1966 Joel and I both attended The Lutheran Bible Institute which later became Golden Valley Lutheran College. On parents weekend my older sister who raised me came to visit with her good friend from our church where they worked together. They visited the dorms and campus on their own and then met me at the commons building. As we talked from the second floor balcony, they said to me, "Oh, Renee, we met the man you are going to marry! He wants to be a missionary in Africa and we can just see the two of you working there together." I was curious and asked who it was.... Just then Joel walked through the downstairs door. They said, "There he is!" My reply? "You have got to be kidding! He is loud and obnoxious, and he wears boots!" They both just smiled and said, "We will pray about it."

Just 3 mo. later we started dating, 9 mo. later we became engaged, and 6 mo. after that we were married. A farm boy who wore cowboy boots married a city girl who wore suede go go boots! It was a match literally made in Heaven and 41 years later we still rejoice in the prayers that brought us together. It was not part of God's plan for us that we go to Africa, but it was part of His plan that we spend our earthly lives together.

Oh, by the way, Joel still wears cowboy boots...but I gave up my suede boots a long time ago!

Parched

Lately I have been walking through the desert feeling as prickly and dry as the cactus in this picture. I cannot seem to pull up anything inspirational to write about. I read or hear something inspirational and pick up a pencil and paper...and that is far as I get. I am definitely in a dry spell. I have tried to figure out why, and lately feel God has me in a dormant state of stillness to teach me. I believe He is asking me a rhetorical question...."How can you write and inspire others when you do not quench your own thirst with my Word?"
I am in need of spiritual waters. I am dry and prickly because I do not nourish my own soul.

Isaiah 35:6 says, "Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy. Water will gush forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert.

I am clinging to this verse today. God is waiting for me to feed my soul in His waters. He will make streams in the wasteland....streams in the desert when I am obedient to his teaching. My "muted tongue" will once again shout for joy, and I will return to my deep desire to write again with inspiration.

Worth The Wait

We lived in the Philippine Islands from 1974-76 while Joel served as a meteorologist in the Air Force. He forecasted weather for the pilots flying to such places as Japan, Viet Nam, or the U.S. Clark Air Force base had a population of about 40,000 at that time. It was a small town with its own college, churches, library, etc. All our food was brought in by plane, or on big ships to Subic Bay and from there came on trucks to Clark. There was only one grocery store for the whole base and going shopping on pay day was more than a challenge! It was a waiting game. First of all it was important to get there early because it took about an hour just to get in the door to shop. With the heat and humidity it was always good to bring along something to drink....and a good book! Shopping was not so bad, but when it came time to check out, the lines were yet another hour long. And yet knowing we needed food to sustain us, it was"worth the wait". Somethings in life are worth the wait.

There are important times in our lives that require patience and remembering that "all good things come to those who wait". Times when we just need to bring along a "good book" to read while we wait in line....Those circumstances in our life when God answers our prayers, not with a yes or no, but with wait. We know that God wants what is best for us~ the "Good Book" tells us that he has a plan for us...a plan for good and not for evil....that God loves us so much he gave His son to die for us....so if we focus on what His Word tells us, we can trust that the answers to our prayers will come...and they will be worth the wait!