A Pulse? Then A Purpose

I have always been honest here in my writings, and that has not changed.  Yesterday morning I woke to a deep blanket of heaviness over me.  The treatment meds were causing me to be weak and tired, nauseated, I had stomach pain with cramps and diarrhea, and at times when I would stand we think my blood pressure was dropping.  Everything would get "bright" and close in on me.  I was also having symptoms of a UTI which were causing pain and frequent trips to the bathroom.  I could not stay up past 8:30 pm and have never desired more to be in a one level house.  The 17 steps to our bedroom at night completely exhaust me.

I woke up thinking..............why am I still here?  Heaven sounded so good.  No more pain, suffering, or fighting.  Just freedom.  I lay with my eyes closed and God gave me a short visual encounter.  Jesus and I were walking down a hallway with gold dust on the floor.  I knew we were in Heaven and Jesus opened a door and ushered me inside a big room filled with angels.  There were beautiful globes standing around and large maps of the world on the walls.  Angels were busy making plans for people around the world.  I noticed a small red heart in the middle of a large world map and as I focused on it everything moved in and I could see it was a heart right in the center of northern Iowa where we live.  It was a heart representing me.  I thought, "Well, God's angels are fighting for me."  Ok.  How could I not fight for myself if God's angels were fighting for me."

Soon I received a text from my sister Jan asking how my day was going.  I shared with her how discouraged I was and she sent out a prayer request to her prayer warriors, then sent me some of their and her encouraging words.  Later in  tihe day I listened to a voicemail from our oldest son, which gave me another boost of courage to keep going.

Joel requested I not take the pills yesterday, to give my body a break and see if symptoms subsided.  They did and I could actually eat a full meal at supper and stay up until 9pm.

Later in the day I received a book and card from my friend Katherine in New Hampshire.  The words she shared with me had me weeping.  They came on a day I really needed them.

In fact, God knew what I was going to be feeling and he sent messages from Heaven, from my sister and her friends, from our son Matt, and from Katherine.  I felt the spirit of heaviness lift some.  Today as we read devotions, Ana Werner said that a friend told her, "If we have a pulse, we have a purpose." I don't begin to know the purpose in all this, but I do still have a pulse and I can't help but see that God is aware of what I am going through.  That He is there with the encouraging words and prayers he has sent, not only yesterday, but throughout this journey.  Words from old friends, new friends, family, siblings, and last but never least, my Joel.

Today is a new day, the first day of 2019.  I woke up with a pulse......still here, still breathing.....still fighting.  In fact Joel and I played a game of Scrabble from the sofa.  It really tired me out, but we did it!  Yippee.....The pills are still knocking me for a loop, the antibiotics for the UTI are talking to me, the need to rest and nap is strong, but the fight goes on and most importantly the promises of God are holding us. 

I truly pray that 2019 is a year filled with "new things" that God brings your way.  Isaiah 43:16-19. Prayers for blessings, good health and much happiness for each and every one of you.  This is the day that the Lord has made......let us rejoice and be glad in it!