Saturday's Scribbles: Alex and Ruth

I just finished watching the movie, "5 Flights Up" starring Morgan Freeman and Diane Keaton.  It is a rather low key movie about a senior couple, and their struggle with whether or not to sell their 40 year old apartment in Brooklyn NY. and move to a place with an elevator.   Of course it is about much more, and this 93 minute drama has drawn me in more than once.  In truth, Thursday I watched it for the 4th time, using a notebook to take down some of the gems that were shared by either Alex or Ruth, the characters in the movie.  I always enjoy Diane Keaton and Morgan Freeman, but besides that this little "sleeper" movie seems to keep speaking to me.  Thus the notebook.

More than one of their conversations gave me pause.  Like Alex telling his wife she had to stop worrying!  Her reply....."I like worrying, it keeps me calm." (giggle) There are more than a few of us that believe that lie.....worrying makes us feel like we have some control over what is happening or could happen and therefore it may bring with it a false sense of calm.  Just maybe.

Another conversation towards the end of the movie ended with Alex saying "We are like everyone else today. Getting worked up over nothing.  Why are we moving?  What are we chasing?  Haven't we built a good life?" They had built a good life together, comfortable in their community and surrounded by friends.  They were connected to their people, their tribe.

And Ruth responding, "I don't care if we live in Brooklyn or in Moscow.  I just want what is best for you....for us."  Sometimes our families and friends think they know what is best for us.....sometimes we ourselves think we know what is best and then something shifts and our vision becomes clear and we see what we need to see....and we know that we know that we know.

Alex narrated the movie at times, and he concluded his narration by sharing that the adventure in the selling-buying process brought them right back to their beginning, full circle.......... The situation "Reminded us of who we are, what we have."  There are seasons in our lives that do exactly that.  Remind us who we are and what we have. I would add that those times also remind us Whose we are, where we rest.

We are blessed to have God guiding us.  I did not see any evidence of that in this movie....nor any time spent praying about what was best.  May be that they felt God would close doors if they made the wrong decision or maybe they did not believe God played any part in their lives at all.  That was left a mystery.

I expect that the characters in the movie were ages around 75 for Ruth and 80 for Alex, although again, that was left to us to decide.  What was not a mystery is the difficulty in managing changes in life as we age and the decisions that eventually come because of that aging.  Still, how blessed to be able to even be seniors and in the midst of what it entails.  "I don't care if we live in Brooklyn or Moscow, I just want what is best for you....for us."  That says it all, doesn't it.

A Christmas Connection

InCourage, a Christian web site for women,  has just published their first book, "Craving Connections".  Several authors have shared their own stories surrounding our need to be connected.  I'm thinking I will be reading this book, since my "word" for 2017 is Belonging/Connections.

While thinking about the word belonging, I have been reflecting back on a time in my life when I was going to college to be an interpreter for the deaf (in a medical setting).  Part of our requirements was service to others, and I volunteered to visit a high rise nursing home in Minneapolis.  Through my instructor I connected there with a woman who was both blind and deaf.  I communicated with her by finger spelling with American Sign Language into the palm of her hand. She could talk to me since she had not gone deaf until she was a teenager. Helen loved to "hear" from me what was going on in the world and would often ask me to sign summaries of articles out of news magazines or the newspaper. I was sent to help her, but she blessed my life richly.  I also visited with a woman who was bedridden and confined to a dark room.  I could only stay briefly and talk quietly to her.  She was once a missionary and had gotten ill on the mission field.  They both stood firm in their faith in very challenging circumstances, and with grace opened their lives to a stranger because of their need for connection with others.

On Christmas Day that year, our family went to church in downtown Minneapolis before heading to a family Christmas gathering.  At the end of the service the pastor asked for volunteers to deliver poinsettias to members in the same nursing home where I volunteered, so we picked up a few of the plants and headed over to deliver them.

This decision greatly impacted our family.  So many people on floor after floor of the high rise...their loneliness palpable.  I'm sure many had family coming to visit, but what we noticed is that people were hungry for connection that day.  After going into the dining room to deliver one poinsettia,  we had a difficult time leaving.  Our family of 7 plus one ~ my mom~ were quite the "hit" during our brief visit.   At that time, I had never seen so many people who needed to connect with others.  Not just desired....but needed.  Of course our kids were the attention grabber!  Who doesn't love kids!?!

When we lived in the Philippines we noticed that in most cases several generations lived together in the same small house or a Nipa hut.  They respected the elderly and cared for them.  I'm sure this was partly out of necessity, but it was also cultural.  The elderly stayed connected all their lives with their family, as the central figures within.  No strangers needed to provide companionship and connection.

We were created for connection......with God and others.  The new InCourage book "Craving Connection" states,  "We all long for meaningful relationships, the Colossians 3:14 kind that fulfill our desire for unity and connection with God, our friends, and our community. "  Kris Vallotton, pastor at Bethel Church in CA calls this search for meaningful relationships, the need to  "find your tribe".  

This need for connection is rooted in the core of our souls.  It was obvious to us that Christmas morning when we walked the halls of the nursing home and it is still obvious today.  Our world is more connected than ever through social media..........but also more lonely.  How does that compute?


We have a deep ingrained need to belong and to connect. God is waiting................and so, too, is our tribe.

"Above all, clothes yourselves with love, 

which binds us all together in unity."

Colossians 3:14

A Horse, A Repo Guy, and Grapevines: What Do They All Have In Common?

Connection

Joel and I recently watched a news segment about wine being grown in Tuscany.  It had drawn national interest because of what they use to grow sweeter and bigger grapes.  Their secret?  The music they play in the vineyards.  Classical music plays and the vines and grapes respond in a positive way.  The vines even grow towards the sound, leaning in to it so to speak. One man decided to play music over his well cared for vineyard and they responded.  For what ever reasons they responded....this one act by one man changed how vines produced. Scientists are now studying this phenomenon.  I love it!

Sunday morning I watched a story about a "crusty old man" who had befriended a horse.  The horse was not eating well, so he was slowly wasting away.  The man spent a great deal of time getting him to eat and discovered in the process that he had stopped eating because he was so lonely.  Once this elderly man gave him attention and the horse learned to trust him, they became friends.  The horse lived and thrived.  Later when the man had a heart attack, he was weak and struggling to recover....but he credits the horse with getting him moving again, with giving him purpose.  They continue to be best friends.



Another story on CBS Sunday Morning caught my attention also.  A man who works as a repo guy is is known as a "guardian angel: and wears that label proudly.  He discovered when he was repossessing peoples cars, etc. that there were a lot of tragic stories attached to them.  The morning show shared about one couple where the wife was having to help her husband in the early stages of Alzheimer's.  They had so many medications to buy they could not afford the payments on their 1998 car and the guardian angel came to repossess it.  When he heard the story, he called the bank, was able to keep the car for the couple, and then start a go fund page.  He ended up paying the car off and giving the couple money to help them stay afloat.

What do these stories have in common?  Well, besides seeing God interwoven in all three, it tells me how important it is to connect.  Even the grapevines seem to need connection and responded to music being played over them.  That may be a stretch, but what happened is truly amazing.  The horse thrived when he was no longer lonely.  And the heart of one man changed the lives of two others just because he took the time to reach out to a struggling elderly couple.

Saturday morning we listened to Brene' Brown's widely watched TED talk on vulnerability.  It has been viewed over 27 million times and resonates in the hearts of those who listen.  She learned in her decade of research about our basic need to connect.  Kris Vallotton carries it a step further stating that we have been created for connection with God.  It is really the way God made us, with the desire to belong to Him and with others.

When I watched Pastor Householder preach at Lutheran Church of Hope Sunday morning, his sermon was about......you guessed it!  Connection and our need to do life together.  I had to laugh as God impressed on me one more time the importance of this message.  I love when God brings something to my attention over and over.

Needless to say, after praying for a word to focus on this year.....reflecting on both rest and breakthrough.....I am settling right down in the midst of the word BELONGING.  It was six months ago we left a church we enjoyed very much because we felt like we could not fully be ourselves there.  We were trying to fit it....instead of belonging.  A great church, but not a great connection for us.  As Joel has worked like an itinerant pastor over the past many months, we struggle with not belonging anywhere permanently.  We don't have a church home.  Our community has always been found in a church.  For many people their community gathers in school, neighborhood, a local coffee shop, the theater, or even a bar, but for us it has always been a church, so we now are missing that major part of our lives.  Belonging has become a priority.  We believe that God is guiding us to a place where we will belong.

Has God given you a word to focus on this year?  We are looking forward to what God brings to mind in 2017 concerning this word.....and I'm not forgetting about the words rest and breakthrough either. Somehow they are all connected.  And there is that word again!

Connections are so vital to our well being.  Everyone needs a sense of belonging.  Whether we have a connection to others through our work, through an animal like a horse, through our neighborhoods, our families, our friends, or through our church communities, the need is there and God is willing to be a part of it.  He created us for connection with Him and others.  A place where we feel we belong, a peaceful place to be.