Saturday, December 21, 2019

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday to you from our corner of the world where mild weather has been welcomed by those of us in the upper Midwest.  Today we are supposed to hit the mid 40's!  So unusual for this time of year, with Christmas just 4 days away.

Speaking of Christmas, we are looking forward to seeing most of our family the weekend after when they gather at our home.  It will be wonderful to hug on them all!  Christmas will be as usual, the two of us, but thanks to an adjustment in my treatment schedule at Mayo we will get to be home for both days instead of in a hotel.  Yay!

Speaking of Mayo yesterday was filled with appointments before my first treatment at 4 pm.  I was so anxious about the face mask, but it is less tight after they removed the shims that were placed behind my head orginally when they were shaping it to me.  I listened to contemporary Christian music during the time I laid in wait for the beam to reach our treatment room.  The treatment does not take long, it is the waiting, 30 to 45 minutes, as one machine is used for 4 treatment rooms.  This machine is three stories high and the beam goes the length of a football field.  Proton radiation.....look it up.

As we traveled to Rochester yesterday morning I asked God to send us moments that would brighten our day and remind us of His Presence.  He did not disappoint.  We first entered one desk area just in time to see a man "graduate" from his treatments by ringing a loud bell.  His wife and children were there and cheered him on!  It was touching.  Then the woman we saw about a research study was so nice and helpful, even walking us to our next appointment. They often go above and beyond at Mayo.  Later I had 6 tubes of blood drawn, and the nurse was again so nice and chatty.  When we were waiting for my appointment to see another nurse who would apply a thin special film on my skin to help protect it for treatment, we watched as another woman was cheered by her family as she went in for her last radiation treatment.  Joel said later (when I was in treatment) she also rang the bell and around 10 people surrounded her cheering her on.  Brings tears to write about it!  While we waited for my treatment, a volunteer offered to give me a hand massage.  I did not think it would relax me but it really did!  Then there was Oscar, one of the proton radiation techs who came for me, walked me through the first treatment and helped during the treatment.  This young man was gentle, kind, and relaxed which relaxed me.  And I can't forget the young woman in her early twenties with her bald head, waiting with me to go to her own proton treatment.  So young to be going through so much.....but with a smile on her face!  ALL of these moments provided by God  to remind us that He is in the midst of each and every person's journey.  That He is always with us.  It helped make our day better!!

This coming week is a roller coaster ride with treatment times from 7am the earliest and 9pm the latest, Christmas arriving, lots of traveling for us, and then our family coming.  We are in hotels or at home until we get a spot at Hope Lodge in Rochester.  It is established by the Ameriacan Cancer Society.  We are learning that we need to be flexible when it comes to this journey at Mayo.  Things change.  Alot.  Still, we find them very efficient, caring, and helpful wherever you go.

Something that does not change is our Lord and His faithfulness.  About a week ago I was talking to God and told Him I wanted to be obedient and follow Him where He led me...........I immediately saw in my mind Jesus take my hand and to my surprise walk me into the radiation room and have me lay on the table.  He stood by my left side and put is hand on my shoulder.  I knew he was telling me to follow Him through radiation and that He would always be there with me.  Then the night before we left for Mayo my sister Jan texted me and said that Jesus would be sitting right beside me through the treatment!  She knew nothing of my vision......I know her words were a reminder from God that Jesus was there in the room and all would be well.  "The Lord is fighting for you, you need only to be calm."

So, for all of us let us remember to be calm, and to be aware of the moments God provides for us no matter our circumstances.  Yes, let us be still and look around us, because especially this year, as Max Lucado said in a powerful message he wrote, "We need Some Christmas this Christmas".  That needs to be our focus.  Christmas and the Christ Child.

Enjoy your weekend!

Thursday, December 19, 2019

Joy In The Waiting

So this week the Advent candle represents joy.  There is a favorite Bible verse for Joel that speaks of joy.  It is found in Nehemiah 8:10. 



Joy.  Joy runs deeper than happiness.  Happiness is fleeting, momentary.  Joy comes from deep within and is a choice.  In the midst of any circumstances we can still lock our eyes on Jesus and muster up joy.  Joy in knowing what we know.  That Jesus is our Savior, our Healer, our Protector, our Strength.  When we choose joy that comes from our Lord, we receive his strength.  During this season of waiting we choose joy.  Knowing what we know, believing what we believe.  Receiving what we receive from our Lord.......joy to the world the Lord has come!


Saturday, December 14, 2019

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday to you from our corner of the world here in Iowa.  It has been a mild week weather wise, although the temperatures have been on their own roller coaster......December has it's own way of doing things.

Speaking of December, it has been a quiet week medically, except for a few phone calls, physical therapy sessions, and one trip to the doctor for yet another infection.  We got the list of times for my radiation treatments and were pretty happy that night time treatments were few and far between, and then they called and told me they are tentative times!  We do know for sure the 20th will be the first along with a few other appointments.  One day at a time, right?

Our son Matt came up yesterday for another visit.  To my delight he set up Britbox on our smart TV for a year.  My Christmas present from him and the family.  Yay!  I have been eying that channel for awhile.  We do enjoy British TV and we definnitely enjoy having our son come to visit!

We decorated the tree early this week and Joel and I made a triple batch of pumpkin bread on Wednesday.  It freezes nicely and it is a tradition to make it and send it home with our kids after our family gathering.  One year it is on Thanksgiving and the next the first weekend after Christmas.  As the years go by it is harder to get all of us together at one time, but we stay hopeful.  We don't plan on too much baking this year, but I plan to bake one of my husband's favorites.....cinnamon logs made mostly with butter and sugar.  Delish!

Thanks to the creation of gift cards and online shopping, we managed to get most of our Christmas shopping done in a couple of hours on Thursday.  There are times I miss looking for those special gifts for each person, but energy and time are limited this year for sure.  And speaking of limited, Joel and I cannot come up with a Christmas list for or from each other.  We like opening gifts on Christmas morning but when you don't have a list of wants or needs that can be purchased?  I expect it is partly due to age and partly do to circumstances.

Once again another week has passed with little reading getting done on my part.  I did get out around 90 Christmas cards/newsletters and could mark that task off the to do list.  I have always enjoyed writing letters and cards.  We enjoy hearing from others and look forward to the mail arriving during the month of December.

We hope your month of December is going well.  Whether you are dealing with a packed schedule or wondering how to fill your lonely days, I pray you find God's peace within, and deep joy in expressing gratitude.  I am so grateful this week for time with Matt, texting with kids, a decorated tree, laughter with Joel, devotions that resonate, Christmas music, and catching up with friends and family through the mail.















Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Shalom Calms The Chaos


The second Sunday of Advent we light the candle of Peace.   I could use just a little more of that.....couldn't we all......and it is available  right there in front of us as we ponder the birth of our Savior.  He is Peace.  Shalom comes from the One who is Shalom.

I recently read on Facebook Dr. Brian Simmons thoughts on Psalm 34:14 and the meaning of the word Shalom within this verse.

" This word here in the Hebrew means much more than peace.  It is wholeness, wellness, well being, safe, happy, friendly, favor, completeness, to make peace, peace offering, secure, to prosper, to e vicorious, to be content, tranquil, quiet and restful.  The pictographic symbols for the word shalom actually reads, "Destroy the authority that binds to chaos".  Also  in noun form it means to "restore".

Yeah.......it pretty much covers it all.

I heard Bill Johnson say today that he and his wife Beni have worked hard to keep their home a house of peace.  Enter in peace, live in peace.  Unless it was urgent, the stresses of the day were not discussed and conflicts were not hashed out until a chosen time when they could sit down together and in a calm manner share with each other.  They were intentional in keeping chaos out of their home.

I have prayed often for our house to be a place of healing and peace. This past year it has been easy to give chaos a place of residence as so many surprises and unwanted concerns popped up.  It is more a feeling of being unsettled or just plain fearful of what is coming.  I know I am not alone.  We do have a choice though.......

This morning I peeked over our upstairs railing to see the tree lights on and the fireplace glowing.  My hubby was in his recliner covered with a wool afghan, dozing.  He was a picture of peace...shalom.  He is so good about taking time to embrace the moments....making the most of His Presence.  Making the most of the good we can find in every day....even before the sun rises. 

During Advent we are reminded that Peace comes in the manger.  And that baby in the manger?  Lives in us,  Peace is within no matter what chaos shakes up our world.  I wish you peace.  I declare peace over you.  I give you the word Shalom and all it means in the Hebrew.  Let every breath inhaled be Shalom and every breath exhaled release that which unsettles.  In Jesus peace reigns.

John 14:27 speaks clearly His words..........

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. 
 I do not give to you as the world gives. 
 Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Saturday, December 7, 2019

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday to you from our corner of Iowa where snow is scarce and today's high will be in the 40's before Canada sends a winter blast our way.  Most of our snow is long gone so Joel has been able to get out to walk some days.....and I have walked for a short distance.....really short.....out in the fresh air.  Oh, it smelled so good! 

Our house is decorated for Christmas, with a tree in the corner and a few decorations around the main living area.  The Christmas newsletter is written and I am getting a few out every day.  Joel had the outside lights on in mid November, but we did not turn them on until the day after Thanksgiving!  There is nothing like lights or candles to bring a smile to your face and joy to your heart, right?

On November 25th I saw the radiology oncologist again.  What I thought would be 1 appointment was 4!  The last was a "CT simulation therapy" session which should have taken 30-45 minutes and took 2 hours.  They were trying to figure out how I could lay for up to 45 minutes with my arms above my head.....after all the lymph node removal that was not happening so they are using a special prototype they created for people like me and my arms will be below the chest wall level so radiation can get to where it needs to.  I also have to wear a mask on my face to keep it in a certain position.  They put a hot silicon material over my face with openings for eyes, nose, and mouth.  Then it cools and as it cools on your face in shrinks to fit tightly.  Did I mention tightly?  To my surprise after about 15 minutes I started to get very anxious and had to talk myself out of panicking.  And I thought this part of the journey would be easier?  

I will be starting proton radiation about 10 days later than I thought, on Dec. 20th.  This will be a Christmas where this quote will definitely come into play...."Christmas is what you make of it."  I am one month out of chemo and still having some side effects.  The most challenging is the pain and weakness in my muscles.  Improvement is slow but it is coming.  For so long I could not get up the stairs without Joel's support or stand in one position for more than a couple minutes.  It was slow and difficult, but healing is coming more and more.  One ineresting side effect is my nails.  On my feet they plain hurt.  My fingers?  Have deep ridges around the half moon moving out.....looks like one ridge for every chemo treatment!  The nails tear easily too, and hurt at times.  Eye still funkier, still having therapy for scar tissue, dealing with some numbness in fingertips and toes, and energy level is too dang low BUT  baby steps....baby steps.  One day at a time!

Speaking of one day at a time, Joel is transitioning into his 4th "retirement" of not working.  He is busy catching up on office work and house needs.  He is not good at sitting around.  I watch him run up and down our stairs, work in the yard, kitchen, or office and I am envious of all his energy!  There is great benefits in staying active.  The body responds to it with better health!

Yesterday I was surfing on the TV and stopped briefly on the Hallmark Channel....Joel got up from the chair and said, "I am going to the office.  I cannot tolerate another Hallmark Christmas movie right now!  Giggle....They have been showing them 24/7 since October and it is too much!!!  We are going to get set up for BritBox TV.  I love British TV shows and there are so many available with BritBox.  Do any of you have it?  

I saw the sweetest segment on TV and Facebook this week.  A young boy was being adopted and had to go to court with his new family for the final decree.  His whole kindegardent class came to the courthouse for it!  They held up hearts on sticks  and cheered when the judge decreed this lttle guy officially had a new forever family.  So great to see!  It took me back to when we went to court for our son Kevin's adoption finalization.  We all went along and celebrated at Dairy Queen.  Everyone could order whatever dessert they wanted which was a big deal in our financially strapped family.  

I find myself rambling, so will end this little chat with gratitude for your friendship, love, and prayers  Gratitude for lights, decorations, trees, Christmas music, and the color red!   Enoy your weekend....

Thursday, December 5, 2019

Pitching My Tent

"I am glad from the inside out, ecstatic.  
I have pitched my tent in the land of hope."
Acts 2:26  Message Bible

It is the the middle of the first week of Advent, a time that we are focusing on hope.  H.O.P.E  And don't we all need a little hope in our lives.  Hope for today, hope for tomorrow.  Hope for the coming of a baby.  Hope for healing.  Hope for a miracle.  And isn't God the God of miracles?!  Isn't the birth of a Savior, our Savior, a miracle? 

When I read this verse, I cannot say that I am feeling really glad from the inside out, or ecstatic in any way.  Just saying.......but I have pitched my tent in the land of hope.  During the storms of life, that tent needs some deep stakes to stay upright.  It shakes and the tent flaps whip about in the wind and rain, but faith keeps it grounded.  I visually can see myself pounding those stakes in hitting each one harder and harder, deeper and deeper.  And with metal hitting metal hope rises and faith is strengthened. 



Maybe what Ann Voskamp says holds some truth.  "Hope isn't about thinking something will get better.  Hope is about believing Someone better is already here"  We have the privilege of knowing the end of the story of Christmas.  Of knowing about the baby born in a manger, the son of God and of man.  A carpenter's son and yet God's only Son with three years of ministry that healed the sick, cleansed the lepers, brought the dead to life, cast out demons and offered eternal life for all.

Hope sustains.  Life may be challenging, but because of Jesus we can keep our tent pitched in the land of hope., knowing there is hope for today, and in the waiting for tomorrow.  Knowing there is hope for eternity. 

Saturday, November 23, 2019

Saturday's Scribbles


Good Saturday to you from our corner of Iowa where warmer temps are once again keeping winter at bay.  Yay!  So far we have had rain only, although they keep talking about this big storm that may or may not hit.  Okay, then.  It must be the week of Thanksgiving!  Always snow somewhere causing delays.

 I remember one Thanksgiving decades ago when we were supposed to head north from our place in central MN to spend the day with Joel's family.  We got a huge snow storm and could not go anywhere.  We also did not have any food to prepare a Thanksgiving meal at home!  We were rescued when Joel's secretary at the time invited all of us to her home for the meal......so very nice!  Another time in the Philippines a typhoon came through and knocked out our electricity.  At the same time our propane ran dry and so we sat on Thanksgiving day without electricity, eating a meal of half cooked turkey, jello, and potato chips!  And of course pie.  We will spend a quiet Thanksgiving here, planning on most of the usual food choices,  but the number one priority for us will be pie.  Joel's choice is pumpkin and mine is sweet potato.  My pie crust is made with almond flour......Joel's is a Pillsbury Crust!

It is very strange, but since the chemo treatments, I have craved food I have not eaten in years!  I have a very limited diet, which eliminates sugar, most grains, and processed foods.  I have been craving tomato soup and grilled cheese, caramel rolls, old fashioned glazed donuts like Target's original bakery had years ago, and lately fried chicken!  I have not eaten oil laden fried food for decades.........SO I had this hair brain idea to make fried chicken using olive oil and almond flour for a crust.  I am still weak and fatigued, so Joel helped me out.  It turned out terrible.  Joel, who eats anything, said it tasted bad........and made the whole house smell of fried oil!  We have had a good laugh over it.  I certainly lost my taste for it as soon as I ate a bite.  I am not sure why the chemo has triggered old taste buds, but I am trying to ignore them!  Well, except for the fact that I have been craving salads too! 

Speaking of salads, what is with the Romaine lettuce recalls?  I am wondering why romaine has the most issues with bacteria?  Of course it is my favorite lettuce! 

Update:  Two weeks since the last chemo and I am still struggling with weakness in legs and fatigue. I nap 2x a day and sleep 9-10 hrs a night.   I am happy to report that last night I could get up the stairs to bed on my own again so baby steps!  This coming Monday we head to Mayo for a follow up with the radiology oncologist and will get more info on when the next phase of this journey begins.  I had good news with both the dermatologist and urologist appointments this week.  All is well, so no return to them for 6 months.  Yay. 

Joel will give his last sermon Wednesday night at a community service and then he is done with his Interim.  He is ready for a break, but will miss all the people he has gotten to know in the past 15 months.  There are some great people at the churches and they will be missed.

I have not had the brain power to read this week so have been watching too many Hallmark movies or HGTV shows.  What are you reading?  Hope your weekend is filled with sunshine! 

Saturday, November 16, 2019

Saturday's Scribbles


Good Saturday to you from the upper Midwest where seasonal temperatures have returned making it possible for Joel to get in a 10 mile ride yesterday.  Quite a difference from much earlier in the week when I glanced outside to see him mowing in his fluorescent orange parka that alerts hunters and car drivers of his human presence when he rides in the fall.  He was mulching leaves while it was snowing!!   The next couple of days will be in the low 40's.  Yesterday we opened the back door to get in some cool fresh air.  So nice to enjoy the last few days of Fall.

Speaking of Fall, Thanksgiving will soon be upon us.  Joel will preach his last sermon the evening before at a community service.  His Interim will end Dec. 1st.  He has had three calls to either fill in or serve other churches, but he is taking a much needed break and plans to do so at least until radiation ends sometime in January.  Radiation in Rochester should began about a month after chemo ends.

Speaking of chemo, this last one really knocked me off my feet for the past week.  Today I feel more human again and plan to just keep getting stronger day by day.  I dropped nearly 8 lbs in 6 days, but know from past experience that it will come back.  (it is not needed nor wanted but it will return!)I am looking forward to leaving chemo behind.

We now have gone over 2 weeks without a microwave and I confess it is has been more than a little difficult.  We usually like to fix a good amount of food....meat and veggies......and then warm them up in the microwave at mealtimes, saving time and energy.  So no microwave?  No quick warm-ups.  After too many meals of yogurt, eggs, or even smoothies, our bodies were needing meat protein so we made a good meal and tried warming things in the oven......it dried out the ground turkey.  Live and learn.  Joel has searched high and low for a replacement as it is a small over the range space and most stores have to order ..........a friend is trying to fix the old one.  IF not, for now we will by a inexpensive counter model to tide us over.  Also, our appliances are white and you pay more now for white!  What is up with that?

Joel's cousin Charles died this past week.  Joel and his two brothers grew up with Charles and his two brothers and often spent time together as kids.  Joel's mom and Charles mom were sisters.  Harriet is still alive at age 107 I believe.  I remember visiting the "M." farm  when we were first married.  It is where I saw my first cow milked the old fashioned way.....sitting on a three legged stool using hands.  We went squirrel hunting in their woods one fall day and I kept hearing rustling in the fallen leaves when we walked.  As we stopped, all around us snakes lifted their heads up from the leaves!  Garter snakes were out sunning themselves and we were disturbing them.  It freaked me out!!!  That is the one and only time I ate squirrel too.  Yes, it tasted like chicken but I would rather have chicken.  Enough said.

Joel has many fond memories of swimming in the river by their house, sliding down their big hill in the winter, and skating on their pond. They spent many many hours outside year round together!  We went on to connect in other places and stay good friends with Joel's cousin Luther, Charles brother, through the years.  He holds a special place in our family's hearts.  We pray for them all in their time of loss.

No reading done this week.  Chemo brain and eye issues made it hard to focus.  Hope you have all had a good week and are looking forward to another week of fall weather!

Saturday, November 9, 2019

Saturday's Scribbles


Good Saturday to you from our part of the world where winter has arrived too early.  We thought we had escaped the snow that tracked more north, but Wednesday afternoon we got a good inch on the ground and woke up Thursday to a balmy 4 degrees.  Seriously.  Not ready for this.  Actually never ready for winter.  How we would love to be in Arizona during the winter months!  But here we are, so I will say that the trees look pretty coated in the white stuff.  And our house stays warm with an efficient furnace and gas fireplace.  Our car blesses us with heated seats that keep us toasty warm.  Definitely lots to be thankful for as winter settles in too early this year.

**In full disclosure, I have written much of this blog post On Thursday knowing the aftermath of chemo would be coming.  I am glad I did as this time around the chemo crap storm came early!

Thursday we cooked up some homemade chicken veggie soup to tide us over the weekend.  Friday was chemo day which means I will be laying low for awhile.  Saturday will be our warmest day in the next couple of weeks so Joel is planning to put up Christmas lights outside on the garage roof and porch roof and railings.  I would love to keep them up until Spring but the association would frown upon that I expect.  I have found myself pulled in to the Hallmark Christmas movies on the Hallmark and Hallmark mystery channels.  Our decorations will not be out until after Thanksgiving though!  Nor the Christmas music.  But the day after?  Probably!'''

Did you hear about the 6 year old boy who have his teacher $15 of his birthday money?  He wrote here a note that said he knew teachers did not get paid enough and he wanted to help her out!  She did not accept the money but thanked him for his kindness.  His mom found out about it when she saw the note in his backpack.....and she posted it online.  I just love stories where the hearts of children are so giving.  We could all learn a lesson from this little 6 year old "teacher" in his own right.

It is Veteran's Day soon and it always brings to mind the eight years Joel served in the Air Force.  He received his draft notice when we graduated from Bible college, so decided to enlist in the Air Force so he would not be expected to carry a gun and use it.  He grew up with a gun in his hand and was an expert in marksmanship they told him, but he did not want to be that expert on the front lines.  We were married in June and he went off to basic training in early October.  In eight years we lived in Illinois, New Mexico, Utah, Minnesota and The Philippine Islands, meeting some wonderful people and experiencing some amazing things.  We found those eight years to greatly shape and impact our lives.  So thankful and proud of Joel's service and for ALL who serve/served. 

Speaking of thankful, I am giving thanks for my last chemo treatment.  I rang the chimes when it was done, the sweet chemo nurses clapped and hugged us and as I told them, we will miss all of you, but hope we don't have to see you again in this place!  Also so thankful for a clean house, Joel's endless support, the prayers of others, and the privilege to pray for others.  For visual encounters with God, for His faithfulness and persistence in sending me new and continual reminders that He fights for me...for all of us on our journeys.  Grateful for a bowl full of colorful leaves that graces our table, for a TV with Hallmark movies, for books at my fingertips.

Speaking of books,  I am reading a light mystery by Laurien Barenson and a new book written by Ana Werner (and Larry Sparks) called, "Accessing the Greater Glory".  One is light reading, the other stretching my faith.  Both necessary.  What are you reading?






Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Spiritual Blinders


Have you ever seen a horse with blinders on?  They are worn so that they are not frightened by what is beside or behind them.  The blinders keep the horse moving forward without incident and with the right perspective.  No panicky horses.  Lately I feel like I need those blinders .....just need to keep my eyes focused on moving forward.  Just stay focused on Jesus.......just keep walking forward one step at a time.....no worry.....no panic setting in.

It has been just over a year since this journey began.  It is easy for me to slip back to those early months and the turbulence involved in every test, every report, and what seemed like all bad news.  It shook our world and it can still bring about a physical response if I go back and think about all of it.  Like Lot's wife in the Bible, I want to look back over my shoulder, but I know that it will not be helpful.  I won't turn into a pillar of salt, but the distractions and emotions wrapped up in the past year can keep me frozen in place.  Especially since this November is filled with appointments and tests.  Chemo will be done after this Friday, and  I move on to the next phase......radiation.  Before that happens there are tests, a port removal, a visit to the urologist and dermatologist, and.......yeah......"Distractions!" Give me those blinders!  I need a new perspective.

So a horse with blinders, we know it is for its own good.  The blinders keep the horse steady, focused, and calm as it does the job set before him. Makes sense.

Makes sense for us too.  There are times in all our lives when we need to intentionally focus, stay steady and calm and just "do the job" set before us.  Keeping our eyes upon Jesus and His plan gives us the best perspective, and is a good way to accomplish all those things.  Of course blinders are not literally what we need, but knowing God is guiding us through life keeps us calm and less distracted by the world around us.  There are benefits to having spiritual blinders!

"Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light unto my path."

Ps. 119:105  NLT



Saturday, November 2, 2019

Sataurday's Scribbles

Good Saturday to you from northern Iowa where chilly temperatures and nighttime frost have joined us as we enter into November.  Halloween was cold, and we had about half the kids we used to see here in our neighborhood.  Others said the same thing........fewer kids....more leftover candy.  We had one young teen here on stilts who came right up our porch steps, trick or treating.  Joel always enjoys having the kids trick or treat, and I think he was a little disappointed to see fewer young kids coming to the door.  It was cute though, when one young boy came and as Joel opened the door with the candy bowl he said to Joel...."I like your costume!  You are a cowboy!"  Of course Joel was just dressed in his normal attire but this young guy thought he was dressed up for Halloween! I guess he dresses for Halloween every day!


The frost brought with it a heavy blanket of leaves.  Joel ended up raking, mulching, and bagging from after lunch until supper on Saturday.  And it needs to be done again!  Joel took the above picture from our living room sofa.....it is a beautiful view of our backyard and the neighbor's colorful tree.  We have certainly enjoyed it!

Joel headed to Mpls. on Monday to attend the funeral of an old friend we have known since we met at church in Salt Lake City in 1970.  When the Air Force moved us to Duluth, they ended up moving to a suburb of Mpls.  We kept moving.......and moving..........but we stayed in touch mostly by mail with a few visits thrown in.  Dick died at age 89, having lived a full life of faith and love for family and friends. We are blessed to call them friends over the years.

 I was able to vote early this week and make a brief stop at the library.  Both my PT sessions for the scar tissue were cancelled due to my therapist being sick with the crud.  She was at work but coughing away and on antibiotics so cancelled our appointments.  Good idea........It is less than a week until my final chemo treatment.  Some of the symptoms have been less intense this time around. I'll take it!


I decided to keep an ongoing gratitude list for November.  So much to be thankful for........This week I have been missing nature......being able to get out and walk, pet a dog, just smell fall.  I am grateful to have the views we have from our home..........but looking forward to some fresh air!  Joel took me for a drive down by the river and today or tomorrow I am planning on a short walk there.  So grateful for where we live, having the river so close, and  for Fall....my favorite season!

Enjoy your weekend!

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

When The Bowl Is Full



My prayer bowl sits in front of me, as a reminder to pray for others.  Today it could be filled to the top with the needs of my family.  And then there are those friends who carry heavy burdens.  Some seasons are like that.  Packed so full of sickness, disease, death, financial struggles, wayward kids, and more.  Yeah.  And I confess that when my own needs are vying for my attention, there are times I struggle not to feel overwhelmed as I think and pray  about the needs of others.

But, you see, we are not meant to carry the burdens of others.  We are meant to encourage, to stand with, to pray for, but not to carry.  Jesus is meant to carry....... He already carried.   He not only carried He suffered.  He died.  He sacrificed His ALL because of His love for us.  We bring the needs of others before Him,, TRUSTING that He fights for them.  TRUSTING His promises.  TRUSTING His death to have meant something.  Everything.  His death meant everything.

We have a close friend, Dan, that we have known since our seminary days.  When Joel and I both were ill with Lyme Disease he would take the time to call, even with his busy schedule as a senior pastor with a family.  He would ask how we were doing and always listen.  A year ago his wife died from cancer.  We were on our own journey ( it has been a year now) and the phone calls between us were brief and not as often, but we knew that his love and prayers continued as did ours for them.  Since Barb's death, we have continued to hear from Dan as he checks in.  He is a true friend indeed.  How can he shift his own grief to pray for others?  It is who he is, but he also does not try to carry the burdens of others.  He TRUSTS Jesus to do that. 

And so must we.  TRUST our Lord to fight for others as we lift them up in prayer.  TRUST our Lord to walk with others on their own journeys of suffering and need.  TRUST our Lord's promises....Trust that He always hears our prayers, never feels overwhelmed, and keeps us ALL in the shelter of His wings. 

At times our prayer bowls are full.........but we empty them at your feet Jesus knowing they are not ours to carry.  In gratitude we remember and TRUST You, Jesus. 




Saturday, October 26, 2019

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday to you from our corner of the world where Autumn has been showing off it's beauty!  Love all the colors.......Amazing!



Speaking of beautiful, our oldest son brought to my attention the tree at the end of our cul-de-sac which he noticed when he came to visit.  He swears the tree fully turned color in the short amount of time he mowed and mulched leaves.  I was in the beginning of the chemo crap storm, but was able to step out on the porch and view it myself.  Our favorite tree did not disappoint this year!


If you take a walk right past this tree you will come to the association path and it will take you down to the river and the road we love to walk on.  Or you can curve to the right on your way down and walk through the association on paved paths.  A blessing we enjoy living here.

Speaking of blessings, Joel enjoyed his very brief visit to MN for our granddaughter L's confirmation.  So thankful he could go and leave me in very capable hands.  He had a nice time with the family, all 24 hrs of it!  He was back home by 8:30 Sunday night.  I had already been sleeping for an hour, but woke up to catch up and then head to bed.  

I had a very horizontal week with the usual nasty symptoms keeping me miserable.  I know it lifts about 6 days later and so there is that light you hang on too.  As my friend Linda says, "It is ugly until it isn't".  Hope at the end of the tunnel, right?  

Our middle daughter N. turns 45 today.  Where do the years go?  She has a brother, Mark, and a cousin K. who all turn the same age each year.  Mark and N. are 4 months apart.  I can still see the day we brought her home, gathering with family and neighborhood kids around this precious bundle God had placed in our arms in miraculous ways.  Loving memories......

And leaving you with your own..........Hope you have been able to enjoy yet another week of Fall.  






Saturday, October 19, 2019

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday to you from our corner of the world where today's temp is going to be 65 !  A warm fall day starting with rain but ending with sunshine. I will be enjoying the weather from my sofa sanctuary due to yesterday's chemo treatment.  So thankful for our big windows, and the fresh air coming in.

It is also the weekend of our granddaughter L.'s confirmation.  Joel and I feel that a time to confirm and confess your faith in Jesus as your Savior is very important......just as important as graduating, but for different reasons.  It breaks my heart that I cannot be there to celebrate.  He was struggling with whether to go or not because I crash, especially the Sunday after chemo and often need his help.  He had just decided not to go when our oldest son, Matt, surprised us with a phone call telling us he was going to come up Saturday afternoon and stay overnight, going home Sunday afternoon so his dad could go and I would not be alone!  What a gift for us!

Speaking of gifts, as I sit or lay on my sofa I can see a ceramic plaque that says, "You Got This" from our oldest daughter.  I see a beautiful card with heart felt encouragement from our middle daughter, an angel from our son Matt, wife Michele, and kids, and a prayer bowl from my sister Janelle. I give thanks for the phone that brings in calls from our son Matt....to check in with us.   I have a stack of cards to reread and a jar full of encouraging notes and Bible verses our youngest daughter Sarah made for me last Thanksgiving when I started this long hard journey.  She had everyone who was here write them for me.   All visual reminders of God's love notes sent by those I love and care about.  It makes me smile...........\

Speaking of smiling, yesterday I had a roommate for chemo.  A very small room with a cotton cloth screen between chemo patients.  They were full and my scheduled appointment did not happen until just two days before hand.  My roomie liked to watch old westerns.  It reminded me of my sister Jan who also likes old western movies.  A discussion with my siblings brought up the fact that most do enjoy old westerns.......especially Bonanza was a favorite!  All of us are over 60.....probably has something to do with it?  Or maybe the simpler life when the violence shown on TV was kid's play compared to today!

I am reading a David Rosenfelt mystery again.  I took a break for awhile as they sound the same after awhile.  I really need to expand my reading choices, but right now between chemo and steroid brains this is the best I can do.  Speaking of steroids, when I am put on them, I have several side effects including weight gain to the tune of gaining 4 lbs in just 24 hours.  Six pounds in 2 days.  I quit getting on the scale until this leaves my body.  It is fascinating to me....I lost 7 lbs the first 10 days of chemo last time and gained it back the final week........and then more.  Now, in my way of thinking a person should get rewarded for this journey, like weight loss if needed.  Don't you think?

The political drama is over the top and even though I hate to watch it or let it pull me in on any level, I am drawn to it in a strange way.  Drama.  The what can happen next?  Boundaries and limitations? Necessary.

The Hallmark Mystery Channel has gone to Christmas Movies ALREADY!  What is up with that?  Do that have a pact with businesses to get people to buy more stuff or are they just wanting to spread some joy early on....like before Halloween!  We don't decorate for Halloween but do have pumpkins for Fall!

Hope you all have a good weekend filled with all good blessings!










Tuesday, October 15, 2019

My Papa God Is Bigger

"Faith does not deny a problem's existence, 
it denies the problem a place of influence."
Bill Johnson

Problems can appear so BIG.  They can be so BIG!  And so often I find myself telling God and anyone who will listen just how big my problem is.......when I need to remember and declare to my problem and to myself and others just how BIG my GOD is!  He is definitely bigger than any problem.

Recently  I heard Pastor Bill Johnson from Redding CA talk a bout a friend of his who was going through a terrible situation.  One day he placed two chairs facing each other and he invited the devil to sit in one chair and he sat in the other.  He then, said to the devil..."You are going to sit here and listen to me praise God. You are going to hear how faithful, good, and kind my God is!"  This man made the decision to focus on God and His goodness in the midst of, and despite his circumstances.

I would imagine the devil hates to hear us praising God.  Yes, I am sure of it.  I would expect God loves to hear our praises to Him.  It says in scripture that He inhabits our praises!  And I know that when we give thanks and praise, focusing on God and not our, at times, enormous circumstances, we find a sense of peace in the midst of it all. Praise is an offering for what we know to be true according to God's Word, even in the midst of hardship and loss.  It builds our faith.  As Bill Johnson said, faith does not deny our problem but it denies it a place of influence.


I am good at visualizing.  God has given me a gift of "seeing" in the spirit realm.  Sometimes that gift turns against me when I visualize worst-case scenarios.  And let me tell you, I am good at that IF I listen to the lies of the enemy.  I decided to do what Bill Johnson's friend does and put two chairs together.  I put my "circumstances" on the chair and I speak to it of God's goodness, faithfulness, healing power.  Funny thing about that........when you speak to your circumstances, or the enemy, you are also speaking to yourself.  You shift your focus and it shifts your perception. 

I have one family member who finds bedtime challenging at times because worry likes to visit.  This person has learned to pray the Lord's Prayer over and over and recently added singing "This Little Light of Mine" until sleep comes.  What a wonderful example of shifting the focus to WHO is this person's LIGHT....making God bigger than the problem!

It is not always easy, but it is possible.  Whether we put two chairs together and speak to the circumstance, whether we poke the devil in the eye with our praise, whether we sing a sweet yet powerful song over our worry, the result is the same.  God becomes bigger, things shift,  and peace flows. 

Saturday, October 12, 2019

Saturday's Scribbles


Good Saturday to  you from our corner of Iowa where we woke up to our first frost of the season.  We do not have snow, like Minnesota, South Dakota, and other states.  We do have the cold with wind chills but are avoiding the white stuff which is fine by us!  I am now enjoying my "Woolie", my wool comforter which keeps me nice and cozy throughout the cold seasons.  Like I have said many times, wool has some healing properties.  Joel has some arthritis in his hands/fingers and wears wool gloves which helps!  Love the wool!

Speaking of loving something..........did any of you see the video a mom took of her three year old son on his way to school.  When he was 2 she taught him an affirmation she hoped would stick in his mind.  It did.  On his first day of school he started to repeat the affirmation on his own.....

I am smart!
I am blessed!
I can do anything!

He is adorable and has a message for all of us!  I found myself adjusting the affirmation to...I am strong.  I am blessed!  And with God I can do anything!




Speaking of I can do anything, this journey with chemo is so unpredictable.  I like to say every day is different and sometimes every hour.  Like Tuesday I had trouble getting downstairs without feeling like I would pass out.  I rested awhile and by 11 am felt good enough to make a small batch of cookies!  I walked twice around the driveway that evening and crashed after.......unpredictable. Thursday I went to physical therapy, three stores for cards, and the library!  No problems.....and that was fun.

I was supposed to have chemo yesterday but it has been postponed for a week.  Last Monday I called the clinic and left a message for my doctor that I was having neuropathy in my feet and some in my fingers.  The doctor was gone once again and the nurse called me and said another doctor on call said I needed to see a palliative care team for pain control.  I was NOT looking for meds, I was looking to ask the doctor about this side effect as I know it can be permanent.  I was going to be contacted by the team....but nothing.....Finally on Wednesday I called again and said I wanted to talk to the doctor after finding out I was not even scheduled to see him before chemo on Friday.  At Joel's persistence I also called Mayo and left a message with my oncologist there.  The Doctor from our center here called me and decided to postpone chemo a week........and shortly after that the Mayo doctor called me....less than 2 hours after my call to him.  2 hours.  Not 2 days.  He felt waiting was okay but did not think my symptoms were telling him the neuropathy would be permanent so go ahead with the chemo .....only 2 treatments left.  So for now I am in limbo waiting for symptoms to go down and for next week.  I expect this is quite common but it was not part of the plan and I struggle with not pushing through it.  We have been praying about it of course, and twice in one day from different sources I heard words I had not heard before............WHEN YOU ARE GOING THROUGH HELL, JUST KEEP GOING!  Yep.  Just keep going!

Speaking of keep going........Yesterday we headed to the local grocery store to pick up some pumpkins for our deck and front porch.  After paying $5 for each one, no matter the size, I decided we would seek out a pumpkin patch next year!  There is just something about pumpkins that speak of fall and warm my heart!  Halloween is my least favorite day, but Thanksgiving is definitely a plus!  The colors, the smells, the food, the gatherings, the gratitude expressed.  It is the only holiday where our family celebrates on the actual day, and the only holiday where Joel does not have services on the day, so of course it is my favorite! 

Speaking of favorite.........last night we watched the first episode of the original Magnum P.I. series on Amazon Prime!  That show was a favorite in our house in the 80's.  It is amazing that I remember so much of that first episode!  Our minds really store a lot of information.......a reminder to fill it with GOOD things!

I have been reading again this week, picking up a Rita Mae Brown mystery at the library.  What are you reading? 

Saturday, October 5, 2019

Saturday's Scribbles



Good Saturday to you from our corner of Iowa where the word of the week has been RAIN!  Rain, rain, and more rain.  Dark and dreary days mostly with water water everywhere.  I'm guessing we have had 4-5 inches.  We could use a little sunshine!  It has been nice to turn on the gas fireplace!

Speaking of sunshine, we were hoping for sunshine today as Joel headed off to his "national holiday" of Rendezvous Days about 45 minutes from here.  He has gone nearly every year, life and weather cooperating!  The weather has not cooperated this year.  He called me a couple of hours in and said there was water everywhere.  Sloshing was the way he described walking through all the tents, food places, etc.  Sounds like he will top off his breakfast flatbread with lunch before heading home early.  So disappointing.

Today is our granddaughter Abbi's birthday.  Next week our son-in-law Greg will add a year.  Our oldest son Matt and his wife Michele celebrated their wedding anniversary this week, too.  We have a lot of family birthdays and anniversaries in the fall.  I enjoy fall so much, but sure miss being with our family for special occasions.  For any occasion.  If you live close to your kids?  Treasure it.

There has been so much political drama on TV this week.  It is like a soap opera where each day brings more craziness than the last.  Years and years ago I used to watch those daily soaps......I quit and I am glad I did!   Too much drama.....just like now.  No matter which side of the aisle you are on, or whether you walk down the middle, it is all a mess.  There are times I am not only shocked or disgusted, but also embarrassed by it all.

This week I made it to physical therapy twice as planned.  The scar tissue is breaking up and my muscles are stretching more and more.  That is good news.  I have had more energy, but what we have noticed is that I can feel fine and then instantly not be fine and in need of laying down ASAP.  It just leaves or changes so quickly.  I wish the pain would go away as quickly!  Six more days til we head back to the cancer center for another infusion.  Oh, joy.

Speaking of joy, I have been working on that intentional gratitude again.  I am thankful for texting!  Such a fast way to be in touch.  I am so grateful for kids who walk in faith.  Grateful for feeling stronger, being able to taste some foods again, and knowing there is an end to the chemo.  Grateful for a warm house, a gas fireplace, the TV to distract, online ordering,and grilled pork chops and baked squash made by my hubby.  Delish!  What's on your list?

Thursday, October 3, 2019

Chemo Chat

I have debated with myself over how much to share of my journey with chemo.  I have learned in the past few weeks that each person has their own story to tell.  I expect one day chemo will seem barbaric as a treatment for cancer, but for now it is one of the weapons used by doctors against a formidable foe ~ cancer.  One doctor told his patients, "I don't know what chemo will do to your body, but I do know what will happen to your body if we do not do what we can to get rid of the cancer."   I was told by the Mayo oncologist that for me the chemo is for prevention purposes.  Having the double mastectomy is the number one thing I could have done to rid my body of cancer.  Chemo should take care of any random cancer cells, etc. in the body.  Chemo is part of the battle plan.

Chemo affects each of those who reluctantly join this club in different ways.  Yes, there is knowledge that how the chemo drugs affect the body is in some ways universal ~ thus the  extensive Chemotherapy Resource Guide I was given.  But in other ways how the chemo drugs affect the body is individual.  There is a "we don't know" aspect to pumping poison into your body. 



When we had our "chemo class" the nurse went over all the side effects and how to manage them.  What side affects were dangerous, what ones required a trip or phone call to the doctor.  What was considered "normal."  I listened, but tried not to keep a running list in my head.......or heart.  I tried to take a "wait and see" approach.  Four weeks in I ordered a short book entitled, "Chemo: Secrets to Thriving".  It pretty much covered what was in the spiral notebook I had been given, plus a few more side effects that were in the "hard to talk about" category.  Both guides have been helpful.



It was not until the second treatment that I was hit hard with a number of side effects that kept me horizontal.  When the 2nd infusion knocked me off my feet, I began a google search for those who had personal stories to share.  I did this because the few people I knew who had gone through chemo either did not talk about it, or said "it was not so bad".  I did know of one person who spent a lot of time in bed and someone else who's only symptom was severe fatigue.  I needed more info.

I learned that there were plenty of people who were suffering through the treatments.  One younger woman remembered feeling so ready for chemo to get started!  She had a fighting spirit!  And then she became extremely ill and remembers that after one session where she spent 6 days in bed, she walked into the kitchen and said something to her husband and he actually cried to see her up and hear her talk.  Everyone has their own story to tell and the one who "breezes through" is no different than the one who suffers greatly.  Getting to the other side............that is the goal.  Just getting through to the other side.

One of the biggest symptoms I have had to deal with is pain.  I was told by a nurse that I would not have pain.  She was completely wrong and even though it is not one of the more common symptoms, it is a side effect of the chemo I have been given.  And then there is the OnPro injection that helps your body produce white cells in the bone marrow.  The bone pain from that was intense.  After three days of it I called my doctor and was told to take Claritin.  It seems the On Pro produces high histamines in the body and the Claritin reduces those, thus reducing pain.  That has been helpful to take the edge off of the bone and joint pain so I can sleep at night.  The muscle and nerve pain fluctuate.  There is a concern that the nerve pain will be permanent so that is watched closely.

Another continual side effect has been fatigue and exhaustion.  For the first 6 days it has been major to the point that I needed help getting around, my legs would not hold me at times.  After day 6 (so far) weakness improves enough that I can be up more, help myself more.  Eventually energy has steadied 2 weeks in so that I have one week that is more normal before the next treatment.  Will that continue?  We are hopeful. 

A variety of other side effects have popped up.  Nausea was minimal with the first treatment but pretty strong the first week of the second treatment.  I have not vomited at all and felt like I was eating enough, although I lost 6 lbs during that time.  Smells are strong to me, taste is mostly bland.  Textures are difficult.  You find what you can tolerate and you eat it.  Food is medicine for your body! For me, the essential oils of ginger and peppermint put into a carrier oil has helped.  I rub it on my stomach as often as needed.  There are meds that can be used also.

I started losing my hair just 10 days after the first treatment.  We shaved my head 5 days later and I have been wearing headcovers since.  My eyebrows are thinning out and most hair is gone on my body. 

Tinnitus has increased and in my right ear at times there is a "tweeting bird" sound.  Not kidding.  My vision is blurry and I blink a lot.  That should improve later.  I have had "chemo brain" to some degree.  I can tell mostly when I try to pull up words or I am watching Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy!  Slowwwww reactions.  I can tell when I sit down to write on my blog.  The words don't flow as easily.

I have had sore throats, runny nose, sore mouth, oral thrush, and everything, including water tastes metallic. There are salt/soda water gargles, meds to kill thrush, and I put just a small amount o 100% white grape juice in my water to make it drinkable.   I have had mild fevers, headaches, soreness on skin from chemo leaving my body through urine and stools, nightmares, and sadness and anxiety.  The short amount of time I am on steroids, sleep is hard to come by.......so I am thankful it is brief.  After the first few days, I sleep 9-10 hrs a night and usually take two naps daily.  My skin has reactions to the chemo and the dermatologist was helpful for me as I had radiation "memory" reactions plus the severe reaction to the tape used during surgery to have the port put in. 

Mostly, this is my journey with chemo so far.  One thing I am learning?  It changes from day to day and often hour to hour.  The body is doing what it can to function and I am doing what I can to help. For me the first 6 days are the worst, and I try to just breathe, rest, and pray my way through it. It is good to remember, this too will pass!  We will get to the other side.

What helps to get to the other side?   Information is a good place to start.  Good support, a loving caretaker, and the prayers of family and friends are so important.  And be sure to advocate for yourself.  Be kind to yourself.  Make sure you keep your eyes on that light at the end of the tunnel.
In the midst of the last "chemo crap storm", as our oldest daughter calls it, Jesus reminded me I was not alone with this image and message.   

He is the Light


I hope this has been somewhat helpful for those who are curious and for anyone who is going through, has been through, or will be going through treatments.  Our daughter Beth's words, "chemo crap storm" define it quite well, but like any storm, it will end.  In the midst of it all it we may be tossed by wind and waves, but it will end.  This too shall pass.

Saturday, September 28, 2019

Saturday's Scribbles


Good Saturday to you from our corner of Iowa where fall is showing off and bringing us a beautiful day.  Oh how I love fall.  I am in my living room sanctuary with the back door open just loving the sounds, smells, and sights of fall. 

It is nice to be back in the land of the living.  I am in the midst of jotting notes when I can to have a little "chemo chat" in the future as this past 5-6 days has been a test of my endurance.  The infusions went well but by Sunday I was sleeping off and on all day and waking every hour of the night.  Chemo hit me harder than the first time around and the next few days are a bit of a blur.  Times where I thought I was going to die and other times where I was thinking Heaven sounded sooo good.  I remember repeating often, " Lord have mercy".  Friday I woke thinking something feels different.  This morning I was strong enough to shower.  It took all my energy, but I did it!  I felt my brain could put a few words together so I picked up my laptop to do a little scribbling.

Our granddaughter Grace celebrated a birthday this week, along with our sister-in-law Betty.  Joel's brother has a birthday coming up and our oldest daughter Beth and son-in-law Kevin will soon celebrate their 25th Anniversary.  When I think about that beautiful fall day in Duluth, MN it makes me smile.  It was such a great celebration with family and friends.  I can still remember the two of us walking Beth down the aisle into the arms of a man who has loved her well.  So grateful.

Grateful.  So what are you grateful for this day?  I am grateful for a phone call, a bowl of cereal, a TV to get lost in, the sounds outside the door, a hubby who walks with me, the prayers of friends and family,  animal videos, silence, the laughter of children, and so much more.  Enjoy your Saturday.  Practice intentional gratitude. 




Thursday, September 19, 2019

I Love To Hear The Stories!





A couple of weeks ago I closed my eyes and quietly waited for God to show me anything He wished me to see.  I then saw myself sitting on a hillside looking down over bay and could see small boats and sailboats in the water.  On my left Jesus sat next to me and I linked arms with Him.  On my right was Holy Spirit, a swirl of colorful energy spinning around.  I felt heat against my leg and foot and when I looked the Lion of Judah was leaning against me.  I asked where God was and heard Him say, "I'm behind you.  I've got your back."

This was all I saw but it gave me great comfort.  Surrounded by the Trinity, protected as I move forward in this season of my life.  I liked knowing that Jesus, the Lamb is also the Lion.  He sacrificed His life for me, for us.  He also fights for us as the mighty Lion of Judah.  It was a good reminder for me.

Recently I reread the story of a couple who experienced an angel coming to the husband's need as he went through a terrible ordeal when a freak accident resulted in him being medivaced to Mayo Clinic.  Several people saw this guardian angel in men's clothing with unusual happenings affirming that it was an angel!  Such a beautiful story of how God shows up for His children.  Stories, or testimonies shared give God praise, but they also build up our faith. We realize how much God loves us and remember His goodness. 

When Joel was 16 years old he was outside one morning and looked up in the sky.  There he saw three crosses.  His thought was, "That is someone's cross..."  It was just a few days later that his dad died suddenly and unexpectedly.  He believes God spoke to him that morning with a visual of three crosses in the sky.  This event profoundly shaped Joel's faith.

My friend Linny Saunders and her hubby Dwight have so many stories to share of God's faithfulness that she even wrote a book called "The Memorial Box".  They have an actual large curio type box where they keep visual reminders of stories where God intervened in their lives.  With 14 children, and 9 still at home, they have many stories to share.  She keeps a memorial box because of what it says in the book of Joshua where God's instructions were that Joshua build a memorial so when future generations look at it and ask what it is for, they will hear the many stories of God's faithfulness as they ventured into the promised land.  We all have those stories to share too!

A few years ago when Joel was interim at a small church in a small Iowa town, he asked if people would share their "Faith stories"with the rest of the congregation.  They were willing to take 5 minutes during Sunday morning services to share and listen to how God has shown up for His children.  It was wonderful!  So many had great testimonies of how God intervened, spoke, or showed up in the lives of His children.  Those stories we heard benefited and blessed us all!

It is good to hear how God works in the lives of His children and it is good for us to look back and remember how He has blessed us during different seasons of our lives.  He is a good good Father. Someone today may need to hear your faith story.  We all have them.  I love to hear the stories~  I am sure you do too!

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

A Bowl Full Of Prayers


I received a beautiful "prayer bowl" this past week in the mail.  What a delightful surprise! (Thank you Janelle)  One of my favorite verses is written on the outside and inside is a colorful bird.  A packet of cards came with the bowl where you can write the names of who you are praying for.  You place them in the bowl as a reminder to pray.  There is a verse in scripture that says our tears are collected in God's bottle or a bowl?  ...........and our prayers are too, I expect.

Recently I heard Kris Vallotton say we need to remember to  P.U.S.H in our prayers.  Pray Until Something Happens!  You may have prayed the same prayer over and over....for healing, for restoration in relationships, for finances.  So what do we do when you pray and nothing seems to change?  We keep praying.  We pray and we give thanks believing something will happen.  In the Bible it is called "fervent prayer".

On the large sofa table in front of where I rest is a plaque that says "You Got This" that was given to me by our oldest daughter.  Now on the other side of this table is the prayer bowl with this scripture...

"He will cover you with His feathers,
 and under His wings you will find refuge."  
Psalm 91:4

Both are reminders from God.  Whether we speak to the mountain, rebuke the enemy, use a prayer language from Holy, ask and seek, or give thanks for what is coming, a close relationship with God is the gift given to us when we pray.  And certainly it is not just about us, as there are so many in need of our prayers.  I am sure, like you,  I can easily fill up the prayer bowl.  Lord hear our prayers this day, and let us never forget............

Saturday, September 14, 2019

Saturday's Scribbles



Good Saturday to you from our corner of Iowa where fall continues to make itself known.  I love fall, so I am taking in all the colors, sounds, and smells.  The other day we were sitting on the porch watching a squirrel try to maneuver an ear of corn from the neighbor's yard, across the street into our yard.  He tried carrying it in his mouth, but kept dropping it.  He actually pushed it with his nose rolling it on the street, before picking up one end and dragging it the rest of the way.  Determination.

Speaking of determination, I am mustering up what I can here, determined to walk through chemo to the other side.  Energy is sparse, nerve pain and tinnitus talking, and this week my hair started to fall out.  It was coming out in handfuls yesterday so I decided today was the day.  I cut off as much as I could, Joel took over and cut as much as he could, and then he shaved my head.  We have been through this long journey together and he wanted to be part of this too.  It was a bit shocking to look in the mirror, and emotional for both of us,  but it only made me more determined to ride this storm out.  I am blessed to have a good, loving soulmate to walk with me.

Speaking of blessings, we have enjoyed visiting with our friends, who came back to visit the place they lived for 30 years.  They have been willing to accommodate my need for "short" visits and we have been delighted to catch up on their new adventures. 

Another blessing ~ smart phones!  It has been such a blessing to have pics of the grands as they start their sports, get their awards, begin school.  Just doing life, and we are missing out on so much of it.  With smart phones photos are sent so quickly and we can keep up to date on what is going on.  I think my mom would have loved this!  I used to send her tons of pictures over the years, and she would come for a two week visit every year, but instant pics would have been a blessing! 

Hope you are experiencing your own blessings in life and treasuring each and every one.

Thursday, September 12, 2019

Sprinkle Kindness


When I look out on the back deck I see a display of fall flowers.  Two different people, members of one of the churches where Joel is Interim, have given us mum plants.  One is covered in buds not yet blooming, the other is covered in a mass of bright yellow and gold flowers.  They sit next to a very large flower container we purchased in June that is still showing off it's beauty.  Every time I get up to head to the kitchen or bathroom, when I come back to my sanctuary my vision is brightened by color.  A good reminder of not only nature at it's best, but of the kindness of others.



I have not been able to go with Joel to church since last November.  I have missed out on getting to know the people in the two churches where Joel is an Interim.  They have been nothing but kind and caring in praying for their pastor and his wife.  This past Sunday someone sent home food for Joel that lasted for 3 meals. What a blessing!  We so appreciate their prayers, cards, food, and the mum plants!

Kindness.  It goes such a long way in this world.

I ended up at the dermatologist's office Monday due to severe reactions on my chest that were not healing with what I had been told to use.  Our Dr. whom we love, and his staff worked me in and he was able to diagnose the issues quickly....two separate ones.  An ointment is already healing up a chest wall full of nasty stuff.  What Joel and I like about this doctor, is not only his expertise, but the kindness and compassion that he and the staff show his patients.

Kindness.  It goes a long way in this world.

Kindness makes us better people.  It opens our hearts to not only give, but to receive.  We have dear friends who are full time RV'ers in their retirement.  They also have a ministry to serve God where He guides and directs them.  Whether they are laying flooring, feeding the homeless, or working in shelters they are giving out of the kindness of their hearts and in obedience to God.  They combine their love for traveling and camping with their love for serving,  and the world is a better place for it.

Kindness.  It goes a long way in this world.

                                 Jesus was a good example for all of us to follow.  In Ephesians 4 we read.........

 "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, 
forgiving one another as God in Christ forgives you."


Kindness.  It goes a long way in this world.








Saturday, September 7, 2019

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday morning here from our corner of Iowa where September has brought with it some beautiful weather.  I love listening to the trees rustle with drying leaves, and I have heard geese flying overhead more than once from my place on the sofa.  We had a small field just down the block which has provided for them yearly.  Sadly, change has come, new houses are being built and the farmer no longer comes to remind us of Joel's childhood.  It is called progress?

Speaking of progress, we have been marching through the first week of chemo.  Okay, not marching, more like managing and navigating through what is  indescribable  and unpredictable.   Last Friday I was given IV steroids and anti-nausea meds first and then a slow drip chemo drug to see what would present itself.  They did stop and flush the line once, but after things settled a bit and my blood pressure went down some we started again.  The second chemo caused heart palpitations which lasted off and on for three days.  BUT we got through, and were sent home,  I was given a computerized patch just like on TV commercials of Nulasta which injected a drug in me Saturday afternoon to go into bone marrow and help make white blood cells.  ( I think) Sunday afternoon and for 3-4 days the bone pain was intense,  I finally called the clinic and was told to take Claritin!  For some reason it helps.  I took it,  It is helping especially for night sleep.   I just need to keep remembering that help is available to minimize the symptoms.  I am not so good at asking for help in the medical world.  Some of mine have been eye migraine and visual light shows at night when trying to sleep (weird) nerve and bone pain, exhaustion, nightmares, visual and texture issues with food, some thinning of hair, brain fog. dizziness and balance issues, etc. etc etc.

Saturday I woke up to major rash on chest around port and neck incision.  It got worse and worse covering my left side of chest and neck with red welt like reactions.  Then Oral thrush appeared and rash on rt side so a visit to the doctor has me loaded up on steroid creams and anti fungal stuff.  I am calling my dermatologist Monday as no one knows for sure what this is.  It is a bit better now.  Phew.
Thursday's visit brought with it news that my white count is very low.  So I am to check temp. several times a day and head to ER if a fever arises (over 105.5)  Friday I woke up strong enough to shower and visit with our dear friends who are full time RV'ers.  After too short a visit Joel went with them out to eat.  Laughing with old friends was just what I needed....we both needed.  It is good medicine.

What we were told to look for such as nausea and vomiting has not happened..  Food textures keep me from eating much, but I get down what I can,, unfortunately having to stop eating my favorite food right now ~ watermelon, so as to not feed the yeast.  The yeast was a surprise...... so was the reactions on skin.   But remember, my body often does things it's own way,  I could go on, but seriously, enough said.

Chemo is not for the faint of heart and my heart goes out to all of you in the midst of it.  My sister Jo told me to remember what her oncologist told her over two decades ago.  The way the chemo goes after your white cells is also the way it is going after cancer cells!  Again thank you for your prayers.  A true blessing.

Fall is my favorite time of year, and I found myself saying,  next year it will be better......next year.  But what about this year?  I am trying to grab hold of the small moments of fall I can enjoy now in the midst of this journey.  The sound of geese, rustling leaves, kids getting off the school bus, squirrels running across the roof.  I found a place on Facebook that shares nature in the northern Midwest, especially WI and I have enjoyed looking at fall flowers and even some trees turning color in the photos they post.

I love fall.  That has not changed.  I plan to embrace it, even if it is mostly from my sofa.  Welcome September!  Bring your beauty to our world!  We are ready for it.  I have only one request.....could you last a little longer?