Those Moments in Time

There are moments in time which we hold precious.  They are often brief and require us to delve right in while quietly praying they won't end.  Lately one of those moments has come to my mind over and over.

It was a holiday gathering.  Most of our grands come with their parents for 2-3 days once a year, maybe twice.  During one of those times that 3 of our 5 families were still hanging around, our oldest told us that a couple of the kids had some questions about faith, the Bible, and God Himself.  We sat around the dining room table that evening and listened to their questions and their thoughts, responding as best we could.  The parents were within hearing distance and a couple of them joined in once in awhile.

There were some hard questions that we did not have the answer for.  Like, "If someone does not believe in Jesus before he dies, will they always go to hell......or will they have another chance"?  One of our granddaughter's had a seriously important and hard question that she was struggling with.......and the answer was not there in black and white.  Only mystery.......we believe God's word so we go back to His Words, His promises and we step into trust.  We just don't have all the answers do we?!

Our one child says they have a notebook they are putting all the unanswered questions in so when they get to Heaven they will be able to ask God for the answers!  There is the thought that in Heaven those unanswered questions won't matter anymore.

We have learned over the years that we can take all our questions to Jesus and He listens.  From scriptures we see His answers are often told in stories, rather that cut and dried.  In my own experience there are questions that immediately are answered and other that just don't get answered to my satisfaction.  And in those times I try to find peace with that whole rest and trust action that God seeks from us.

I hope and pray that our honesty with our grands was a blessing for them.  We know what we know and we express that to them...our beliefs after 70 plus years, but there are also those questions we do not have a firm answer for.  And that is where we seek God more and rely on His word.  And when we can't make sense out of some of those Bible passages, we rely on His love.

In a few congregations Joel has taken the sermon time for questions. Even as adults we have plenty of questions don't we.  Joel's responses are usually what "the Lutheran Church believes, what the Scriptures say, and also a few "Joelisms".

I hope we have more of those precious moments with all our grands.  They are growing up so quickly, and shaping their own minds, while, as is our prayer,  standing firmly on the foundation their parents have laid out before them.  We are so grateful for those precious moments in time.  So grateful..............

Who Knows Where The Time Goes

It was 50 years ago, in 1968 that our lives changed dramatically.  We were married June 30th of that year after we graduated from Golden Valley Lutheran College, significant in so many ways, but not the only event that occurred for us.  It was a time of change for our country, for the world.  It is the year that Martin Luther King Jr. and Bobby Kennedy were both murdered.  It was a tumultuous time.

And here were are 50 years later.  The legacy of King and Kennedy live on and still shape us so many years later.  Who knows where the time goes........

And here we are, 50 years later and soon to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary.  We are no longer the 20 and 22 year old kids who stood before family and friends saying "I do".  We are seasoned people in the autumn season of our lives.  Who knows where the time goes............

We can all look at events in our lives and question the passing of time. Whether births, deaths, graduations, marriages, we hold them dear and ponder.  Our son Kevin would have been 39 on June 1st.  He died when a virus attacked his heart causing congestive heart failure.  It has been 13 1/2 years since that early morning phone call waking us.  His then toddler son will soon be 16 now.  Who knows where the time goes...............

It feels like our grands were just born and yet we are watching them walk into college and high school doors, with the youngest two leaving single digit birthdays behind.  Who knows where the time goes............

Joel and I are now in our 7th decade of life.  We both are healthier than we were in our early 60's but we cannot look in the mirror without pondering where we are now.  Who knows where the time goes...........

It is no secret that we cannot hold time back.  No matter how many wrinkle creams, fad diets, exercise regimes, or surgeries people invest in to look and feel young.....we cannot hold time back.  We can only hold gently each sunrise and sunset, using the hours in-between to live a life worth living, embracing what is important, letting go of that which is not.

What do we hold precious?  What dreams do we still have tucked in the corner of our hearts?  What do we fill the hours between sunrise and sunset with?  Can we embrace the mundane and the precious, enjoying what makes up our lives.....because.......truly........who know where the time goes!

Nevertheless.......

Joel has already put over 100 miles on his recumbent bike.  He is riding 10 to 15 miles at a time, working his way out of the winter slack and lack, and getting his legs back into the groove of his favorite past time.  He loves biking in nature and with the arrival of Spring he is on his way!

It is great to have this long winter finally behind us.  I love having the doors open, listening to the sounds outside......birds singing.......kids playing.....adults talking.  No longer cooped up in our houses we greet our neighbors and catch up on porch sitting.  Yards are being raked and fertilized, hostas and flowers nurtured.  Baskets and pots of flowers are brightening up the neighborhood.  We have not yet purchased any plants, but I'm hoping to find a black-eyed Susan vine.  I love their happy faces!

When winter lingered this year it was hard to remember that Spring was coming.  Snow piled high......nevertheless, we knew it would eventually melt...it would warm up....Spring would arrive.  And it did.

This morning I listened to Joel Osteen preach on TBN.  He is a bit of a dessert preacher....certainly not one that gives me much meat and potatoes, but he does bring truth to what he speaks.  Today he was talking about having a "nevertheless" attitude.  The doctor's report is not good.........nevertheless God's Word says_______.   Struggling with my finances.......nevertheless God will provide.  Things will improve.    Relationships are strained......nevertheless God's love heals.  We persist because we stand in the "nevertheless" of knowing God and His promises.

This winter season was tough and long.  In nature and in life.  It was hard to not dwell on the snow and cold still gracing us in the middle of April.  It has also been hard to not dwell on the health issues that have persisted for me. 

So what to do?  I'm thinking we add "nevertheless" to our vocabulary and to our attitude.  Nevertheless the snow will melt and Spring will come!  Nevertheless, God is walks with us through circumstances.....We are able to rest in this knowledge and persist in our belief.  We embrace the nevertheless.

Nevertheless shifts the atmosphere.  Nevertheless shifts our belief.  Nevertheless puts our focus back on Papa God and His promises.  Nevertheless helps us to remember.......God is faithful.  God is with us.  His Word is truth.  No matter what the seasons bring, nevertheless there is God.  Only God.  So grateful.

Six Years Of Celebrating

Six years.  It has been six years since Joel woke up at 4 am, sat up in bed and said, "I am healed."  A miracle had manifest itself in every part of his body.  He was healed of Lyme Disease, and the co-infections Bartonella and Babesia.  He was healed of Sleep Apnea, Thyroid Disease, Recurrent Corneal Erosion, Arthritis, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Gluten Intolerance, and something our doctor called Pre-Parkinson's.  God did a complete overhaul of Joel's body.  And the confirmation of his healing was something he never expected.....he spoke in tongues.

Joel went to bed on January 23rd and prayed in a way he never had before.  He spoke to the sicknesses, commanding them to be gone.  He addressed the Lyme and co-infections and told them that they had no authority to be in his body, they needed to die and leave his body immediately.  Then he lay down and went to sleep.  He woke at 4 am healed.

After being on disability for 3 years, spending 9 hours a night sleeping and and 4 hrs a day napping, unable to physically exert himself nor work full time, he was able to work, go back to regular sleeping hours, walk an hour at a time, and ride his bike again.  It was an amazing over the top miracle that could have only come through God.

He went to his eye doctor and was told that what a doctor had called his "80" year old eyes (from an eye disease) were now the eyes of a "50 year old"!  Our Lyme doctor tested and examined him and could find nothing of Lyme or other diseases and conditions left in his body.  Even the arthritis bumps on his joints were all gone.  He was healed.

He has told his testimony as often as he feels led to do so.  Why?  Because only God could do this.  It was His miracle and we need to give him the glory.  Because Joel (and I)  believes that God wants us all well and he is one example of what God does.  We celebrate every year, the reminder of God's goodness for His children.  It is a reminder to us of the healing we have seen in Joel and myself and it brings hope for the healing that is to come.

The past six years have been quite a journey for us with healing and Holy Spirit.  We are so grateful.

If God Said It!

If God said it, then that settles it.  Reading these words in the book, "Stronger Than The Battle" by Havilah Cunnington, affirmed what God had been patiently reminding me yet again about His promises for healing.

Let me explain here.  Most of you have followed my health journey with breast cancer.  The surgery, radiation, and recovery from the latter took a long time.  Our move to Arizona was put on hold to be re-evaluated.  The cataract surgeries added to the mix.  The next year were two surgeries for malignant melanoma followed a few months later by a diagnosis of Lichen Sclerosis.  Honestly, it brought me to my knees.  Then in December my vision suddenly became distorted, and a quickly scheduled trip to a retina specialist had me going through a battery of tests to get a diagnosis of wet Maculer Degeneration.  I had my first eye shot on December 29th.  This last medical earthquake literally put me under the covers in bed, weeping.  Just being honest here.

In that moment in time I came to the end of my ability to keep fighting.   Exhausted and weary I fell asleep on December 26th asking God to somehow let me know that what we believed about healing was His truth.  Did you really say "by His stripes you are healed?"  Did you really promise to "give me back my health and heal my wounds?  Havilah explained my doubts with God very well in her book when she said,

"The enemy will always try to change 

God's periods into question marks"

Havilah Cunnington

I fell asleep that night and did not have my usual chaotic, intense dreams that have plagued me for years.  I had a dream that I was in a house in Redding CA.  Brian Johnson, musician and son to Bethel's father of the house, Pastor Bill Johnson, was laying on a sofa sleeping.  I went over and put a blanket on him just as a mom would.  Then Bill Johnson came up beside me and said, "Let's go walk together."

We then went outside and walked the city streets for a very long time, as he chatted to me and I mostly listened.  I woke up at 4 am from this vivid dream and knew that God was speaking to me.  Pastor Bill Johnson believes "by His stripes we are healed." I thanked him for answering my prayers so quickly, and for reminding me that what we believe about healing is the truth found in God's Word.  My experiences do not change the truth that God wants us well.  

A week later while I was reading Havilah's book I read, "If God said it, that settles it."  She went on to write about how exhausted we become when we fight our battles from a defensive position.  In a defensive mode our goal to is protect ourselves.  It is a place where we fight is response to fear.  Well, I certainly have responded in fear to what has been going on in my body and our world.  Reacting is not wrong, it is the way we were created, but if we continually respond and live on high alert, it is damaging to our bodies.  She explained that it is so much better to respond to our struggles from what she describes as a discovery mode.  A discovery mode means that we resist the enemy  but we do so from a place of knowing that if God said it, that settles it.  We have an assurance that we have all we need inside of us ~ that same power that raised Jesus from the dead who gives us the victory.  We have already won our battles because if God said it, that settles it.  We do not respond from a place of fear, because we know we are called to a place of victory.

Throughout all the medical garbage I have gone through, the 27 years of Lyme, the three diagnoses with cancer, the eyes, the skin.  Through it all I have never walked alone.  God has always been there for me.  I get that.  In the past nearly 6 years Joel and I have learned there is so much more that God wants to give us.  So much more of Him, of His purpose, of His healing.  My dream about Bill Johnson, who believes as we believe, was a gift from God to affirm that no matter my experiences, this is the journey we are on.  This is the truth He wants us to share.  Healing is from God, and it is available to all who believe and use the authority given to us by Holy Spirit who lives in us.  God's Word speaks of healing, Jesus healed ALL who came to Him, and He told us to go out and "Heal the sick, cast our demons, cleanse the lepers and raise the dead."  (Matt. 10)

It is coming up on the 6th anniversary of Joel's miraculous 4 am healing, so my writings will focus on that amazing time in our lives.  My words I am focusing on this year are "so grateful", so with that in mind I am grateful today for the healing that has taken place in my body and Joel's.   I am so grateful for the Word that teaches us about healing and salvation. I am so grateful for the close relationship Papa God wants with us.   I am so grateful for the dream He gave me.  I am so grateful for Havilah Cunnington's words written in her book that have affirmed for me............"If God said it, that settles it!"  No matter my experiences, no matter the battles I face, we all face, God's Word and His promises hold the answers for us.  If God said it?  That settles it!

So Grateful

Our oldest daughter and her family were at their cabin with friends.  It was bitterly cold and they had been using the gas fireplace to bring extra warmth into their living space.  Our granddaughter and family friend had often laid on the floor in front of the fire, staying toasty and warm.

Then suddenly......while they gathered to eat supper on New Year's Eve, the fireplace exploded.  Glass shattered and was strewn out into that same area where our granddaughter and her friend had been.  Glass that was so hot it melted and stuck to the carpet.  No one was hurt.  No one.

So grateful.   So very grateful.

Another daughter and her treasures were in a terrible car accident.  The car was totaled.  Our daughter and the grands walked out of the car alive.  The grands physically unhurt, and our daughter able to recover from home.

So grateful.  So very grateful.

I have been praying for the son of one of Bethel Church's leaders, Joel Taylor.  A nasty strain of ecoli has nearly taken their son Jaxon's life and they continue to believe for his kidneys to function, his lungs to heal, and the organs to restore fully.  The other morning as a small worship team came to the hospital and prayed praise music over Jaxon as a declaration of healing, they saw a shift in his medical status.  He started to slowly and steadily improve.  He continues to need more healing, but the journey has begun.

So grateful.  So very very grateful.

Our whole family gathered together on December 28th.  This does not happen very often at all.  It was only for a couple of hours that our five, the in-loves, and ten grands were in our home at the same time, but our hearts were so full as we observed, participated, and embraced family and all that means.

So very grateful.

I was sitting in yet another doctor's office, this time in West Des Moines Iowa.  I was having a battery of tests to see why my vision had become wavy.  It was obvious it was connected to macular degeneration but where were the blood vessels leaking?  I had so many numbing drops I lost count.  I had dialating drops, iodine drops and a florescine dye IV.  before being given a shot of novicaine and then a shot of Lucentes in my eye.  In the past I would have been reacting with some pretty scary symptoms.  I did have a couple "minor" things arise but my body has recovered and healed enough in the past few years that I tolerated all the chemicals being poured into my body.  Thank you Jesus.

So grateful.

It was while I sat in that office that I realized my mantra of late has been the words...........so grateful.  So grateful for the many blessings, the gift of family and friends, and even the doctors who are at this time playing a part in my journey.  When I looked in my Christmas stocking this year I found a small magnet for the fridge that speaks of having a grateful heart.  It resonated.

So, I have taken my "count your daily blessings" journal off the shelf and am making 2018 a year to put in writing the "so grateful" things.  There are so many.   Like the doctor who suggested a medication to me and then told me to go home and pray, and ask Holy Spirit about it.....(I had never mentioned Holy to her, but evidently He whispered into her ear.........  Or my dear friend Katherine who lives so far away but knows my heart.  God brought us together for such a time as this.  Or the amazing story that can be told with how we bought our latest car.  Or the blessing of having a warm house on a cold day.  God is in the midst of it all.

Recently someone told me they are having a difficult time being thankful.  I told them, I understood.  I got it.  But at times we need to be grateful and praise God before we SEE things change.  That is why it is called faith.  That is why it is sometimes called a "sacrifice of praise".  Because no matter how difficult our circumstances we can find the many "so grateful" moments if we take our eyes off of the problems and unto the solution.  Our Savior.

So very grateful.  It is a good way to begin 2018.