The Pot Was Boiling

I have struggled with what I felt was Holy Spirit telling me to write about for my blog.  Seriously?  Putting our personal stuff out there?  Then at morning devotions the Guidepost story for today was about anger and how most anger could more accurately be labeled fear.  "Anger is usually fear wearing a scary mask".  My response was, "Okay.  Someone must need to read this............so here goes.

This week, in the late afternoon after a beautiful day spent decorating the house and tree...the boiling pot on the back burner of our lives boiled over.  Unexpectedly.  Surprisingly.  It was sobering. 

I used to tell our kids that often there is a pot on the burner of our lives that is simmering with "stuff" that happens.  Sometimes it gets closer and closer to boiling over and just one last drop in the pot can cause an eruption that makes a mess of things.  That happened to Joel and me this week.....It had us asking, what happened here and why?

Joel and I disagreed on what it meant to put ourselves at risk for a Covid exposure.  I felt he was taking a huge risk and he felt he was minimizing the risk well. We both thought we were on the same page , but turns out we were not and instead of handling it well, fear bubbled over and I became angry and found myself raising my voice.  He reacted and raised his voice and the argument brought us to the worst disagreement we have had in probably 20 years.  We just don't fight.  Yes, we disagree, but we never escalate, raise our voices, or carry on.  When we had Lyme disease we just did not have the energy to get into a boxing ring over anything.  Period.  And we liked it that way......it has worked well for us for the last couple of decades.  

And then...........the pot boiled over.   

Later that evening we sat down and talked about the question we both were asking, "What just happened?"  It is why God has asked us to be transparent here,  sharing it for the world to see.  Because I expect the past two years have had all our pots simmering on the stove at higher levels than normal.  The pandemic is something new for all of us.  The fear, worry, caution, isolation, division, death and disease, has taken a toll.  For us, add to it the continual medical marathon with my body and the daily managing of the lymphedema and fractured ribs and maybe we have reasons for the pot to be boiling.  Yep.  And I expect we all have more than one issue that has kept our pots boiling or at least simmering on the burner of life. It is obvious with the increase of violence in the streets and on airplanes alone that many are not handling it so well....this season of conflict, disease, death, and even loneliness.

So, how do we become more aware.  When we are thinking we are really handling it all so well.......being the stoic, independent, determined people we are.....we sometimes miss the warning signs of when we are at the point of "enough is enough".

In our circumstance, Joel and I first apologized to each other, forgave each other, forgave ourselves, and then took it before God and repented.  For us all those steps were important.  And then we sat down and discussed whether we had missed any warning signs that brought us to the "boiling point".  And just how are we taking care of ourselves in the midst of it all?  

Our journey is challenging some days, to say the least.  So is yours.  And yours.  And yours,,,,,,,,,,,, The scriptures tell us over and over...........'Fear not".........."I am with you"............  Don't let the sun set on your anger..........." Trust in the Lord your God".............

I don't begin to understand why this pandemic continues to bring sickness and death.  I don't begin to understand the political climate in our government the past decade,  On a personal level I don't understand why something else keeps coming up to fight in my body.  But I do understand that God is with us.  He is faithful.  He will work all things out for good.  This week the Advent candle is Peace.  We all need a little peace, don't we.  And our peace comes in Jesus.  He is our peace. 

There is someone who needs to hear my words today.  Holy Spirit has told me to put this out there for this person to read.  He loves you that much.  He wants you to hear...........:Fear not.  I am with you,  Let it go.  Release the fear and anger.  Receive His love and peace.  The pot will stop boiling..........Trust Me. (God)"

What are we all doing to keep the pot from boiling?  

Where Is Your Happy Place?

When I was a eleven years old, I lived in the front half of a small house with my mother.  Off of the bedroom was a small storage closet area with a window and attic access.  I kept my dolls and doll bed in that attic area and when I was home alone I would often go upstairs into the bedroom storage space and pull my dolls out of the attic to play with.  I loved the sunshine filling the cozy space with light, and I loved talking and playing with my dolls when I felt lonely.  I had seven of different shapes and sizes.  I still have one of those dolls and recently Joel pulled the doll bed out of our attic over the garage. Seeing it once again brought back memories of me in my "happy place".  

One of our children talks about a happy place they go to.. it is a bit bigger than the small storage space of my childhood,  it is a relaxing place that brings into the atmosphere a sense of peace, joy, and "all good things".  We visited there in May, and the sense of peace and contentment we felt there gave more definition to their description of this "happy place".  It could be felt by both Joel and myself.

One of our children lives in the country and Joel and I love sitting on their porch any time of the day or night.  There is such a sense of history and generations of the past that comes through.  It is quiet and nature is at it's best when we sit on this porch.  Another "happy place" that brings a sense of calm and peace to quiet the soul.

I expect that Heaven will be such a place.  Recently I watched a brief teaching by a philosopher that mentioned that those people who believe they will go to Heaven really DON'T believe that they will...they just use that to comfort themselves about what happens after they die.  At first it angered me and then it saddened me that this great "mind" was so lost.  Certainly when I think of my sister Jo now, I see her smiling, laughing and healthy with her bright blue eyes sparkling.  She is in a "happy place".  

I am not so sure that our secular world understands what is slowly ebbing away.  I just read that the chief chaplain at Harvard is an atheist.  That cannot even compute in my brain...chaplain....and atheist?  Something is so wrong about that......he would not be who I would turn to in time of need.

Getting back to happy places, I expect you all can think of one or two.  And if you cannot I suggest you create them in your imagination.....or right in your home.  God invites us into His "happy place" as He dwells in our hearts.  That peace that passes understanding.........or that Heavenly realm that awaits. We used to sing a song as a family called, "Heaven is a Wonderful Place"...........

Heaven is a wonderful place.............filled with glory and grace

I'm gonna see my Savior's face.....Heaven is a wonderful place.

I'm going there!

I am learning to quiet my soul by going back in my mind to places that bring me calm and peace.  That front porch, or that cabin, etc.  Places where my soul is quieted down and God's presence sustains.  I am hoping to create more of those places!  So, I ask again, Where is your happy place/

Do You Have A Need To Feed?

This morning as I was quietly meditating, Jesus came up to me in my mind and held my hand.  He said to me, "I've got a hold of you."  He then took His finger and made the sign of the cross between my eyebrows and on the bridge of my nose, saying, "Fear not."  I told Him I do not feel His presence with me lately and He responded with a question for me....."What are you welcoming into your home?"  I knew exactly where He was going....

I won't go into detail again, but since I was a young child circumstances kept me feeling unsafe so being safe became mighty important to me. To the extreme.   I also wrestled with the need to stay alert and informed because information is knowledge and I believed that knowledge kept me safe.  It is not completely faulty thinking but God has to stay in the middle of the equation.

So, here we are in a pandemic that is at this time turning our world, our corner of the world upside down.   Like many of you, I have had a hard time staying away from the news.......on TV especially, but also on Facebook where every scroll down the page is filled with headlines.  Granted there are many things that are positive and helpful too, but my eyes were drawn to what was written in the bold print.  And lets not forget those daily press conferences on TV that are filled with mixed messages.  As the numbers of cases and deaths rise it is hard to stay calm. I try to balance it out with remembering and focusing on our Lord and His Word and HIS promises, but often anxiety is sneaky, and becomes my unwelcome companion.

I confess I have not been doing a very good job of keeping the balance I spoke of.  Today Jesus let me know.  And when Jesus asks you, "What are you welcoming into your home?" I know I better pay attention.  He knows me so well.  He knows my inbuilt need to be safe, to be informed, to be alert......and He knows how poorly my body responds to stress after the past 18 months.   In His infinite love and patience He let me know fear is not my friend.  He reminded me to keep my home a place of peace and healing.   He truly knows us all well, and wants what is best for us.

Recently I heard one pastor talk about a difficult circumstance in His life and how he asked the Heavens, "Do the three of you (the Trinity) get together to discuss things up there?"  The present pandemic feels a little like that doesn't it?!  Do you see what is going on here Papa, Jesus, Holy?  Are the Three of you having a conversation about this?

With no room for theological discussion, I will insert here that in no way, shape, or form do we believe God caused this to punish His creation.  Nope.  Jesus came and redeemed our sins.  He suffered and died for us.  He IS the new covenant.

Today a long time friend called and shared some news that is turning their world upside down in the midst of this already topsy-turvey universe.  She shared a quote that she is holding on to.  "God feeds our faith and starves our fears.  When we turn to the One, our Papa God gives us a Peace that is not like any other.  His Word feeds our faith and His peace starves our fears.

Before God spoke to me, I was "limiting" myself to news 3x a day because things were changing so quickly.  And then there was Facebook.........and............and.............  Don't get me wrong, we need to have some understanding of what is going on in our world, but to be awash with the latest and the worst is going to take a toll on all of us.  For many of us, our need to feed ourselves Co-Vid 19 information will cause us harm if we let it.  Somehow friends we have to find a balance in this topsy-turvy world. Jesus reminded me of this.  We all need to make a decision to let God feed our faith and starve our fears.   That will look different for each of us.  People are stepping up and reaching out.  Just look at things people have placed on social media will make us laugh, smile, and encourage us to respond with hope.  Let us feed our souls.  Jesus is waiting to do that for us as our Friend, Protector, Encourager, Healer, Savior.   Shalom, friends.  Shalom.

Finding Balance

Like most of you, we are trying to find the balance between the extremes..... raiding the store shelves of toilet paper vs partying on Florida's open beaches.  America (and the world) is in a serious crisis. The results of this pandemic are far beyond our understanding.  Everything is continually changing and it is making people desperate, frustrated, fearful, angry, and more.

I am going to be blunt here.  It sickens me that when our President calls this pandemic the "Chinese Virus" it gives people who carry the spirit of stupid the idea that they can attack Chinese Americans.  There is no logic in this.  It sickens me that people hoard all the hand sanitizers with the idea of selling it for exuberant prices. .....and toilet paper?  Don't get me started!  The spirit of stupid and greed.  Yes, a situation like this brings out the worst in some people but it also brings out the best!

It encourages me to see people treating others with love and kindness.  People watching over their elderly neighbors, praying for others, checking in on each other.  This is what America can be.  Should be.  Pointing the finger at one race of people will not solve this problem.  Hoarding or price gouging will not help people or help solve this problem.  Ignoring the warnings will not help our country.

Siblings playing music for their

elderly neighbor who is self isolating.  Wonderful!

I confess that the need to stay informed is also increasing anxiety levels.  I think this week filled to overflowing on daily and sometimes hourly changes makes it really hard to keep our focus on the One.  Our decisions have even changed just from Monday when I went in for an assessment for physical therapy and set up a month's worth of treatments.  I was told by the two therapists that when I came for the bi-weekly sessions I was to walk straight back to the room which would already be sanitized and ready for me.  They did not want me sitting with the general population in the waiting room.  This did not register so much with me until yesterday's appointment for an eye injection.  When the doctor finished I left the room ahead of Joel.  The nurse stopped him and quietly told him, "Take care of her, she is high risk".  So, if I am at risk, how many more are at a higher risk?  In some ways we are all at risk!  This morning our dentist's office called and cancelled Joel's crown appointment for the end of March.  Nothing rescheduled for now.  Things were adding up quickly so Joel and I discussed our action plans and I also cancelled my next weeks appointments.

Each of us are probably doing the same dance, as we try to find the balance in every area of our lives.  For some of you, your employers have been told to shut down.  For others on the front lines ( and yes this is a war) you are concerned for your own health and the health of your loved ones as you fight hard to save lives, protect the public, calm peoples fears.  How do we even grocery shop when shelves and pocketbooks may be empty and the virus grows ?  Stores are working hard to keep shelves stocked and many are opening stores from 7-8 for those who are the most vulnerable, but people are scared.   Oh, Jesus, fill us with your peace.

What can we do when the world as we have always known it has turned upside down?  Hang on tight to the One.  Find your balance and take a deep breath.  One pastor suggested limited coverage on screens, more time spent going for a walk outside, listening to music, calling loved ones, praying, reading God's Word.  These kinds of intentional activities definitely will help us find balance.  And that would be a good "find" wouldn't it!

Shalom Calms The Chaos

The second Sunday of Advent we light the candle of Peace.   I could use just a little more of that.....couldn't we all......and it is available  right there in front of us as we ponder the birth of our Savior.  He is Peace.  Shalom comes from the One who is Shalom.

I recently read on Facebook Dr. Brian Simmons thoughts on Psalm 34:14 and the meaning of the word Shalom within this verse.

" This word here in the Hebrew means much more than peace.  It is wholeness, wellness, well being, safe, happy, friendly, favor, completeness, to make peace, peace offering, secure, to prosper, to e vicorious, to be content, tranquil, quiet and restful.  The pictographic symbols for the word shalom actually reads, "Destroy the authority that binds to chaos".  Also  in noun form it means to "restore".

Yeah.......it pretty much covers it all.

I heard Bill Johnson say today that he and his wife Beni have worked hard to keep their home a house of peace.  Enter in peace, live in peace.  Unless it was urgent, the stresses of the day were not discussed and conflicts were not hashed out until a chosen time when they could sit down together and in a calm manner share with each other.  They were intentional in keeping chaos out of their home.

I have prayed often for our house to be a place of healing and peace. This past year it has been easy to give chaos a place of residence as so many surprises and unwanted concerns popped up.  It is more a feeling of being unsettled or just plain fearful of what is coming.  I know I am not alone.  We do have a choice though.......

This morning I peeked over our upstairs railing to see the tree lights on and the fireplace glowing.  My hubby was in his recliner covered with a wool afghan, dozing.  He was a picture of peace...shalom.  He is so good about taking time to embrace the moments....making the most of His Presence.  Making the most of the good we can find in every day....even before the sun rises. 

During Advent we are reminded that Peace comes in the manger.  And that baby in the manger?  Lives in us,  Peace is within no matter what chaos shakes up our world.  I wish you peace.  I declare peace over you.  I give you the word Shalom and all it means in the Hebrew.  Let every breath inhaled be Shalom and every breath exhaled release that which unsettles.  In Jesus peace reigns.

John 14:27 speaks clearly His words..........

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. 

 I do not give to you as the world gives. 

 Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Steady

Yesterday afternoon I sat with Joel in the retina section of our eye clinic waiting for an eye injection. Every three weeks we come to this place, wait with many others (77 on this day had gone through) for the Dr. to numb the eye and inject a medication that is drying up a leaking vessel, and saving my retina from further damage.  The scan taken showed my eye was holding steady. Steady.

While sitting in the waiting room my phone rang and the breast cancer nurse manager was on the line with results from the Oncotype dx tumor tissue test and also the echocardiogram I had Monday.  I went into the hallway for quiet space and she told me that the number given to my results was low.  Surprisingly low (a good thing).  Because of the number of lymph nodes involved everyone thought it would be high.  The tumor is still a Grade 2....but not acting like a grade 2.  A mystery.  Because of 5 nodes showing some level of cancer, the chances of it returning in 9 years with only hormonal treatments would be 57%.  So even though the number on the tumor is low, we are thinking that the doctors will want to proceed with chemo.  Again, results are not clear, but better than expected.  The results of my echo had shown some change from last fall.  Still in normal range but hmmmmm...... Steady as she goes, right?

I went back to sitting in the waiting room and soon I was called in.  The doctor has to first put numbing drops in, then lidocaine with a needle and then come back several minutes later and inject the medication. He needs steady hands for this procedure.  Steady

At 5:30 this morning I awoke with a start and found myself thinking about the echo and wondering why it had changed and what could I do to improve my heart function.  I had not been able to truly exercise since last Dec. but have started walking again.  I googled what could be done ~ Diet, exercise, medications, and of course the stress factor.  S.t.r.e.s.s.      I knew my numbers were still normal but had decreased some.  As I lay and went over it in my head, I realized I was replacing trust with worry. The word steady came to mind again.  Steady.  Firm.  I found some Julie True worship music on my phone and began to soak in her soothing melodies.  Steady.

As I refocused I also sought Words of affirmation.......be firm....be still.........know.......I am with you..........I fight for you.  Steady, now.  Focus...........steady dear child.........You've got this because I've got you........Breathe....worship.   Give thanks.  Know that you know that you know.

Are any of you readers finding yourselves in need of hearing these words?  Are you struggling with staying centered in His peace?  Is worry replacing your worship?  Someone is in need of hearing these words today.  Remember, friend...........He fights for you. He shields you.  He loves on you.  Just be still.....stay calm and steady.  He's got you.  Steady, now.  Steady. 

Where's Your Happy Place?

Do you have a "happy place" that you retreat to where your surroundings bring about deep sighs and upturned corners in a smile?

Our oldest daughter and her family have a lake cabin amidst the trees and water in the middle of WI where they love to go year round.  Their "happy place".

I believe that our friends have a happy place they are living in as full time RV'ers.  They call Arizona home in the winter and travel to new places, experiencing new adventures the rest of the year.  Whether they are relaxing at a beach or giving of their time serving as volunteers where needed, they can return home each evening to their happy place.  They take it with them wherever they go!

In our younger married years we moved so often, our happy place was defined by those we were with....our family.  And I can't help but think that in this season of my life Joel is my happy place!

Our middle child lives in the country with her family, surrounded by the land they farm and decades of family history surrounding them.  I believe they have created a happy place space for themselves there.  I love to sit on their front porch and enjoy the quiet in the early morning hours.  As I have shared before, peace permeates the air there and relaxes me.

Pondering the many different kinds of happy places, I cannot help but question where ours would be now.  Would we want an RV to travel around in, or a lake home that would call us for weekends and vacations?  Would we love a front porch in the country where cars are scarce and fields are not?  Just where would our happy place be?

When Joel was young the outdoors was his happy place.  He enjoyed the woods and lakes of MN where he grew up.  When I was around 10 I lived with my mom in a small apt at the front of a house.  My bed was the living room sofa, but there was a larger closet/storage room upstairs with a window where the sun would come in.  I used to love to be in there, playing with my dolls or reading.  A small cozy warm place where I felt safe and happy. I still enjoy small rooms that have a cozy feel, and Joel still enjoys being outside in nature.

Neither of us are particularly eager for a lake home in the woods.........nor anxious to be full time RV'ers.  And it does not seem practical to have a country home as we look ahead to our senior years. Still, a "happy place" sounds so inviting. I told Joel maybe we need a home where we love it so much that we don't want to leave it for a cabin or RV.  Is that even possible?  I expect so.

So, again, I ask the question, "Do you have a happy place you retreat to where your surroundings bring about deep sighs and upturned corners into a smile?"  And I ask yet another....."Do you live in that place and call it home, or do you find it in someone you love?"  Happy places come in all shapes and sizes, and so many different places. Where is your happy place?

Cultivating Peace In Our Place

I was reading Sunday's column written by my favorite columnist, Sharon Randall as she talked about moving.  She had just moved from their 100 year old home withe long, steep staircases to a one level 20 miles away.  She said her knees were complaining from doing all the steps and she knew it was time to let go of a home that was filled with memories, and move to a place with a view of the mountains and all new memories waiting to be made.

We have moved 23 times in 50 years, with the longest we have ever lived being right here in our present home.  We purchased it 15 years ago this July and renovated it for a few months before moving in to it October 9th of 2004.  Before that we lived in apartments, a studio, a small airstream trailer, and a few houses, several of which were parsonages.  I can go back and place myself in each one, looking around the rooms in my mind.  Each place bringing up memories, both good and bad.

I have been reading a book by Christie Purifoy called "Placemakers" where she talks of each home becoming a place of comfort, beauty and peace when we are intentional about cultivating just that.  She believes God invites us to be placemakers in our homes, our communities, our environment.  A few years ago Christie and her family moved to a big, red brick home that was built in the late 1800's.  They have been restoring this old Pennsylvania piece of history while making it a place of comfort, beauty, and peace both inside and outside.  She sees it almost as an obligation, certainly a spiritual practice to take the houses we live in and make them a place we like to come home to.

With all the places we have lived I have noticed that when we move in, we can almost feel the peace or lack there of that permeates the walls, the furnishings, the home itself. Maybe at times we brought the peace or lack of it with us, other times it welcomed us in.  One of our children lives on a farm that has been in her husband's family for generations.  The first time I visited their place I was drawn to the front porch.  When we go there, one of my favorite things is to get up before everyone else and head to the porch to view a sunrise, or take in the smells of the surrounding cultivated earth.  I also get a deep sense of peace that I suspect comes from those who lived there and farmed the land long before this generation.  I cannot quite explain what I feel there, but I am always drawn back to it.  It settles my soul for reasons that remain a mystery.

Sharon Randall said that moving is not for sissies and she is probably right.  It is costly in more ways than one.  Starting over is never easy and embracing change can be challenging.  We have moved so often, and each house had its own personality.  Each house gave off its own vibes so to speak.  We know we will move again, our present house being too big with too many stairs.  I have not always liked living here with the radon and so many years of sickness being part of our memories.  Yet we love the area we live in, but .............some day we will need to let go, embrace change, and make memories in a new place. When the time comes to leave our home with it's own front porch, I only hope that we are able to find a place where we are drawn to a front porch that gives us inspiration and welcomes us to cultivate peace, comfort, and beauty as a placemaker.

Distractions = Opportunities

The other morning I heard Joel chuckling out in the kitchen, so I joined him and asked what he was laughing about.  It seems that three crows and three squirrels were doing some kind of "king of the hill" dance in the yard across the street while trying to keep their eyes on one of many corn cobs our neighbor throws out in his yard year round.  He has attracted plenty of deer, squirrels, crows, and raccoons with his easy access feast. 

As we both watched the antics going on, one squirrel held back and opted out of the fight ensuing before him.  In a quick move, he grabbed the nearest corn cob and took off across the street while the others continued their bickering!  Smart squirrel.  Distraction = Opportunity.

It brings me to a dream I had last night.  I do not have the best of dreams, and this one can be added to that category.  Someone had come to the door wanting Joel to hire him to do some work.  Joel said no, so he came back carrying a big shotgun and again insisted he be hired for the job.  With him were several of who he introduced as his people who barged their way into the house, all of them walking around.  The kids were getting into things so I was trying to watch them.  Before long I realized that the adults were pocketing some of our things....like house keys and money.  I was trying to keep my eyes on all of them and quickly realized we needed help.  While distracted by the large man and his shotgun, and the wild kids, the others had taken the opportunity to steal from us.  I picked the phone up and called 911.  I woke up pondering what it meant.

You know, the devil is in the distraction business.  He loves to get our focus off of Papa God and onto whatever he sends our way.  Maybe it is sickness, a financial worry, pride, or loneliness.  A distraction from the promises of God, His purpose, His guidance.  And that distraction gives the devil an opportunity to sow seeds of fear, worry, or maybe a lie about your current situation. 

The mission of the devil is to kill, steal, and destroy and he will uses anything in his means to do so.  Turn on the news and fear rises.......Scroll through Facebook and division is the name of the game whether in politics or religion.  Divide and conquer...divide and destroy more like it.  I read recently that with all the technology and all the ways to get connected in our world today, with how "busy" everyone is?   The number of people who feel isolated and lonely has only gone up. 

Isaiah 26:3 says,

 "I will be in perfect peace

 when my mind is focused on You Jesus, 

because I trust in you." 

(my paraphrase).

There it is, the key to all distractions in life........the key to staying in peace.  Trusting in our King Jesus. Following His commands to love, really love one another.  Following His Word that holds truth.   Seeking a close intimate relationship with our Papa.  Keeping our eyes off the distractions and unto the One who is Peace.  

It is He alone who provides.  He alone who heals.  He alone who strengthens.  He alone is our Peace.  He alone brings unity.  He alone.  Only God.  Only God.  

Saturday's Scribbles: This Moment Now

"Today the sun will set at 4:49.  

I can grieve the dying light, or I can admire the moon. 

Neither response is always right or always wrong. 

 Occasionally, we'll do both at once.  But sunset is yet to come.  

All I truly have is this moment now,

 and this moment now is gentle light and quiet shadow. 

 And it is beautiful."

Christie Purifoy

What Is Right With People?

We are saying good-bye to September today.  The months seem to blend together and yet are divided by the elements and events of our lives.  Last September I was one week out of cancer surgery and recovering well at home.  This past year has been a bit of a roller coaster ride and continues I must say with all that comes at us from the political arena and the shootings, the stabbings, the bombs, the train and plane crashes. The police, the lone gunman, the radicalized, the broken all fill our screens and our minds with images we would rather forget.  My words are often an echo from one day to the next..........."What is wrong with people!?!"

It is too easy to focus on the worst of the worst laid out before us, so today I need to ask, what is right with people?  I can't help but think about the people in the most recent tragedy in New Jersey, who reached out quickly to help others even though they believed the glass ceiling was coming down and could land on them.  I remember the Somali citizens coming together in St. Cloud to condemn what one of their community had done in the mall that night...stabbing innocent people as he acted out his own twisted thinking on people shopping.  I remember those who went around in their cars praying over Charlotte, N.C. while other church leaders came between the police and those protesting and rioting.  I even remember our family during this political season, who gather together as one, yet vote both "sides" in the elections.  We don't always understand each other's perspectives, but we do respect each other and the right to vote each person holds.

What is right with people?  On Friday nights Steve Hartman always has a short segment at the end of the CBS national news that warms our hearts as he shares a story of what is right with people in our country. Joel and I try not to miss it.  It leaves us with a smile and a renewed hope for our country.

Forgiveness, honesty, understanding, service, love, peace, respect, encouragement, and so much more.  This is what is right with people.  And we need to center ourselves in the midst of all that. There are so many good, honest, loving, faith-full, forgiving, serving, respectful people in our country, in our world.  Oh, Lord, let me be listed among them.

Today, as I deliberately shifted my thinking from what is wrong with people to what is right with people the world came into balance once again, and my equilibrium returned.  It is a good place to be.

Shoes We Were Made To Wear

A couple of weeks ago as I was praying, God gave me a wonderful vision.  I am always delighted when God unexpectedly shows up this way. I saw myself sitting on a bench in a beautiful garden, and Jesus bent down on one knee and placed on my feet very delicate and finely woven shoes made out of gold. He then looked up at me and said, "You were made to wear shoes of peace."

I have pondered those words ever since.  Certainly, inner peace is something I long for, that place of rest, as the Bible speaks of.  Joyce Meyers mentioned in one of her teachings that we do not need to seek peace or even ask for it, because Jesus lives in us and He is peace.  We ask for the peace to be released in us.  It is there, we just need to access this gift.

I also know the Bible defines shoes of peace as part of the full armor of God in Ephesians 6. Last April while reading and studying Rick Renner's book, "Dressed To Kill", I began to understand that when we are putting on the full armor of God to fight our battles with the enemy, the shoes we wear are very important.  In Roman times the shoes worn by those fighting in battle had long spikes on the soles that went deep into the ground, holding them upright as they fought. The soldiers were too vulnerable when falling down, so these shoes were used as an extension of their weaponry.  Paul defined the Word of God as another weapon because like the spikes, they provide us with a solid firm sense of peace in a battle.  We won't "fall down" and be vulnerable to the enemy, nor to the world when we wear shoes of peace.  The Gospel.

So it seems that reading the Word and staying grounded in it is what releases the peace we need.  It is easy to feel anxious or fearful in present times with so much tension and discourse palpable in the air, but when we encounter fear and the atmosphere of chaos and discourse, we can take a deep breath and remember what kind of shoes we wear! Our shoes are created from peace, and our peace comes from not only reading the Word, but relying on it and trusting that what it says is true. We remain calm in the promises of God.

Certainly, I was humbled by having Jesus put these shoes on my feet.  Such beautiful delicate but strong shoes, made from gold. The words He spoke to me I am declaring over myself on a daily basis.  I am not taking it lightly.  I was made for these shoes.  I was made to wear shoes of peace. We all are.  We.  all.  are.

The Shalom of Heaven

Sometimes I am stunned by the circumstances people are struggling with.  The storms that come against God's children are too many to name.   It is challenging to stay in a place of rest when we are buffeted around by the enemy, and it can be so difficult to stay centered in that place of peace with Jesus. Difficult but not impossible.  If we look back over His ministry we can see that He was always speaking peace over people during His ministry, reminding them to not be afraid.  He was and is the Prince of Peace and just where does He reside?  In us!  There it is, what we need to stay in peace!

Last week I watched a couple of teachings at Bethel Church that presented me with a fresh  perspective on peace.  That "Be still and know that I am God" promise put into action. Some of what I received from the teachings was so insightful.

"Jesus anointed us with peace and we are expected to use it.  He knew troubles would come, and He prepared us for it with peace.  We can trust His covenant of peace and live a full abundant life.  We are recipients of an endless supply of peace, so use it in all circumstances.!"

John 14 tells us Jesus gave us peace as a weapon of warfare.

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you.  

I do not give to you as the world gives.  

Do not let our hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

John 14:27

I have never thought much about peace as being something that God gave every one of us to use, release, or hold on to in tough times.  Another weapon of warfare.  He is the Shalom of Heaven and since He resided in us so does His Peace.  So simple, yet so powerful, this truth found in His Word.

Any of you dealing with circumstances that want to steal your peace? I know I am raising my hand. Well, don't stand with the enemy who steals, kills, and destroys, but choose to stand and agree with the Peace that passes all understanding.  The Prince of Peace.  Choose Peace, and have such a firm grip on that precious gift that no one and nothing can take it from you.

Lord,  You have told us to speak to our mountains, so I come before you in prayer for all of us who have been hearing the lies of the enemy and agreeing with them. I repent of believing those lies.  I speak to the mountains of anxiety, fear, and worry, and I command that each be broken off in Jesus name.  I speak Peace into the minds and hearts of us all, and I declare that we will receive a flow of the peace that passes all understanding.  We give you Praise for the Shalom of Heaven, and we rejoice that we can live out of a place of peace.  We speak Peace into the minds and to the heart sand souls of your creations.  In Jesus Holy and powerful name.  Amen

More Light, More Peace

It is almost dark outside as I put "pen to paper". The white snow is a stark contrast to the dark bare tree limbs that fill our windows, and fog and rain are adding another layer of ice to the road outside our home.  I have candles lit on the table in front of me, and the fireplace is not only bringing warmth to the damp air, but more light to the room......and my soul.

The land line phone rings often these days as Iowa gears up for the caucus.  I don't answer, nor do I read the fear or hate filled posts on Facebook or other media sites.  Already I see arguments spilling over and anger rising. The media loves drama.  And so, it appears, do we.  We know worst-case scenarios sell and garner votes. Mostly we are drawn in to the right or to the left because we agree with the words being spoken, or we are looking for answers to our many questions.  We want a world that will make us feel safe, protected, prosperous, and even superior.  Yeah.  Nothing brings out our humanness more that politics or the fear of death. Words hold power.

Words have held me captive for a few months now.  Doctor after doctor, pages and pages of medical reports, words spilling over giving me worst-case scenarios and and reports of percentages and what ifs or could-be's.  Words giving cancer a whole heck of a lot of power.  I got lost in all the alphabet letters spoken over me.  The daily trips to the cancer center, radiation burning out the "possibility" of other cancer cells lurking.  The radiation burning me.   Even with the kind and caring people I connected with, I was deeply affected in body, soul, and spirit.  I still cannot describe fully what happened to me inside, but in focusing and believing only what the medical world's best were telling me (which is their job) my soul began to shrivel up and my Spirit was silenced.   I got caught up in the desperate need to survive.  I  lost my power, or I gave it away.

This morning I began researching the medications the oncologist wants me to "try".  The side effects are major.  The doctor even told me, she was not sure I could take them, as they will increase my pain and other symptoms.  Thus the "trying" part.  I was looking for what was being said by patients and doctors about the drugs, and trying to made an informed decision on what to do.  Fear began to take up residence.  More bad guys might be coming.......  Even the medications can cause what we are trying to prevent.  Really?

Fear makes it hard to clearly hear the truth and live in peace, whether it is fear of ISIS, fear of who is in the White House, or fear of cancer coming back.  Us oldsters have seen many presidents come and go. We have lost friends in their 30's and watched others live long full lives after battling great adversities that should have killed them.  There have always been bad guys whether they are named ISIS, a political party, or cancer.  Even with so much more knowledge or weapons of warfare at our disposal, there are no definitive answers or results that bring us peace of mind.

So what does?  What gives us peace?

For the past few days God has been opening my eyes and ears to the word.  It has jumped out at me on Facebook, blogs, and in a teaching I listened to by Pastor Eric Johnson at Bethel Church in CA.
Eric made a few statements that caught my attention.  "The greatest weapon I have against the enemy is peace".  Hmmmm  "One of the ways peace comes to us is when we praise the Lord in spite of the battle going on around us.  When we can say, Praise the Lord, His mercies endure for ever,  it helps us win the battle before it is even over."  Victory.  Winning the battle before it is even over.

We are often confronted with the need to choose......peace or fear.  Maybe we can practice the sacrifice of praise in our lives concerning that which we battle because we know that we have the final victory!  Easier said than done, my friends.  It has taken me awhile, but as the wounds heal inside and out, my body becomes strong again,  and as I refuse to partner with fear, I am slowly coming back to life and lifting my arms in gratitude and praise.

It's dark outside now, and what I see out the window is a reflection of the light inside my home.  We are much the same.  Even when circumstances darken our world, we can make a choice to reflect God's light in our praise and in our refusal to let fear of cancer, ISIS, or the latest bad guy quiet our Spirit.  Let His light shine.......let peace come.

Shalom, Shalom

Last night Joel and I watched a teaching by Havilah Cunnington who is a preacher, teacher, and prophetess out at Bethel Church in CA.  She is a powerful speaker who is open and honest with her words.  Her sense of humor and way of teaching reminds us both a great deal of our oldest daughter Bethany, who herself, teaches Old Testament at her church.

Her teaching was based on Isaiah 26:3:

"You will keep him in perfect peace

whose mind is stayed on You

 because he trusts in You."

  

Perfect peace is translated, shalom...shalom.  Double peace.  Having peace that is so powerful that it is peace and then peace again.  Don't we all want that? 

Our world is in chaos.  ISIS is planning attacks on our country during this celebration weekend, and our cities, government, and law enforcement agencies are on high alert. That includes our son.  We could let ourselves be filled with fear, or we can let ourselves reside in peace. Perfect peace.  Shalom, shalom.

The murders of those faithful prayer warriors in Charleston shook our world.  How can this be?  How can people still hate others because they are of a different race?  How it must anger God to see His creations struck down as they were talking to Him in a house of God.  The response of other church members to this young man, has been amazing.  They are keeping their focus on God in the midst of such tragedy.  We are all a blended family of God.  That is where peace resides.  Our immediate family is multiracial.  Our children, in-loves, and grands bring together histories of African American, Puerto Rican Black, Filipino, Chinese, Korean, Hispanic, Caucasian, and Native American ancestries created by God.  Shalom, shalom. 

Our friends Deb and Dave are still struggling with a fungal infection that has attacked Deb's body.  Weeks in the hospital, drugs that went after her kidneys and caused high fevers and heart issues were tried and thrown out.  Pneumonia set in from the mucra.   There was one more newly approved drug to try and the doctors did.  She is now home, getting stronger, and tolerating the new medication.  Hundreds of people who have been praying are feeling a sense of joy and peace restored.  Added to that peace is a long fought for appointment with Mayo for next week.  Peace in the storm.  God is at work.  Shalom, shalom.

Here at home, a return of a nasty old symptom has caused me anxiety the past two weeks.  We have been praying, fighting for release, and listening to God's voice on how to procede.  What we have been hearing is "I've got this.  Rest in me.  Trust.  Focus on Me."   It is a small storm, but has attempted to take our peace.  Where do we turn to?  Jesus.  Shalom, shalom.

Storms will come to us in life.  The Bible tells us where to find the peace we need during these times.  Jesus is the answer.  When we bring everything to the foot of the cross, when we remember where our help comes from, when we trust in the Lord with all our heart, we can be at peace in the midst of it all.  We can have that perfect peace.  Shalom, shalom. 

"I will trust you with all my heart and not try to figure it all out". 

 

"Peace is the battleground for trust,
and trust begins in our mind.

Make a decision to not be in fear. 
A decision to trust"

 

"Perfect peace is translated, shalom shalom."

 

Peace, Peace from the Prince of Peace"

 

Havilah Cunnington

 

Our Path To Peace

The second week of Advent we light the candle of Peace.  Peace.  We all long for it.  That feeling of calm and serenity as the world around you vibrates like a hummingbird.  The sense of knowing that all is well when the enemy whispers in your ear a different message.

Peace.  Where do we find this elusive peace?  Isaiah 26:3 shares the secret with us. 

"I will be in perfect peace when my mind is focused on You, Jesus, because I trust in you."  (paraphrased) 

I have a dear friend who tells me that when anxiety rears it's ugly head, she stops and takes deep breaths, saying, "Jesus in.....anxiety out."  For her this practice shifts her focus.  It does not take long until the anxiety is just as she says.  Out... and gone. 

Some nights when I am unable to get back to sleep, I whisper over and over one word.  Jesus.  If my mind wants to continue on in motion, I visualize myself going into the garden of my heart where I rest my head on Jesus' lap, safe and secure.  Sleep comes when  my focus is on the One who is Peace. 

The One who is Peace listens to our petitions of the heart.  Prayer brings peace when we leave our concerns with Jesus.  Praise and worship keeps our hands lifted high.  To God be the glory. 

No matter where we being on our path to peace, we come full circle back to Isaiah 26:3:

"I will be in perfect peace when my mind is focused on You, Jesus, because I trust in You."

Washed By The Water

There is a chorus that keeps running through my head from NeedToBreathe, a music group......

"Even when the rain falls...

Even when the flood starts rising...

Even when the storms come....

I am washed by the water."

Our world seems to be rocking off its axis right now. Chaos reigns.  Iraq, Sudan, Ebola, Hurricanes, floods, drought, suicide.  The headlines are screaming at us day and night and we can almost taste the fear as brokenness and calamity cross over our personal boundaries from all directions.  We can become weary of the assault.  We need a center.  We need Christ.  It takes effort, but we need to stand in the eye of the storm where His stillness steadies us as He pours out His Word like rain.

"Let me pour down my Word on you like rain"

Deut. 32:2

We need Living Water.  To be washed in Living Water.  Cleansed by His blood.  Shielded by His love.  Empowered by His Word.  Saved by His sacrifice.  Jesus.  Jesus.  Jesus.

There are times when I wake in the early hours and my mind wants to ignore the body's cry for rest.  Taming the mind can be a full time job!  It comforts me to speak scripture in the hours before dawn.  His Word poured over me like rain.  But often what lures me back to sleep is to just whisper aloud over and over....His name.  Jesus.  Jesus.  Jesus.  Setting the world aside for His name.

We are washed by Living Water.  Made clean.  Refreshed!  Made whole.  Restored!  We need not fear the world's brokenness.  We need not fear death.  We need not fear the storms.  We are washed by the Water.

Advent Week Two: Peace

I have been reading Ann Voskamp's posts on Advent, and this week she shared a video on Peace.  You can watch it here....please take the time.  It is so powerful.  I have decided to share my thoughts on Advent also, so I am writing my reflections on peace that came to the surface today from a place deep inside.

Peace

This week holds powerful memories for us.  It was both a long and a short nine years ago that we received a phone call in the middle of the night telling us our son Kevin was in the ER and had "coded" and could we get to the hospital right away.  The problem was, we lived in Iowa an he lived in Colorado.  The nurse told me the medical team was "working on him", so I asked her to please call us back when she knew more information.  Joel and I lay in bed, stunned, and as we held each other we tearfully prayed for our son's life to be spared.  But I knew....a mother knows.   An hour later they had a social worker call and inform us he had passed.  He was 25 years old and died after a virus attacked his heart and he went into congestive heart failure. 

Why does this memory bring to mind peace during this second week of Advent?  That is a story that would take a long time to share,  so I will attempt to speak of it briefly. 

We adopted our son Kevin when he was three years old.  He was a beautiful boy with brown skin, black hair, and huge brown eyes.  He was our 5th child and we welcomed him with open arms, but being in a family was difficult for him.  We discovered over time that not only had Kevin been physically and sexually abused in his birth home, but also in his foster family.  He knew only pain and he did not trust love. 

Many of the years with our son were challenging for him and for the whole family, but we did what we could for him and to keep the family in tact.  So when he moved to Colorado to be near a friend he met at Job Corps we hoped for the best for him.  Soon after moving he met and married a young girl and they had a son. He and his wife soon separated  and he met another woman with whom he had a daughter.  He was not on a good path and we worried about him a great deal.  Sometimes when he would call and talk to us, we would converse about God.  He had been baptized at age three, and years later confirmed at his own request.  He understood God and what Jesus had done for him, but walked away from church as an adult.  He struggled with God letting bad things happen to him as he saw it ~ like the virus that damaged his heart beyond repair.  He had the faith....maybe the faith of only a mustard seed...but he did have faith.  When he died we held on to that tightly.  He had faith.

So, when we grieved and at times still grieve the early death of our son, we grieve with hope.  The hope of believing God prepared a place for Kevin and he is for the first time pain free....he now understands real love. Our oldest daughter said Kevin died from not only a damaged heart, but a broken heart.  In Heaven we know his heart is whole.  He gets it now.....the love of a Father .....the joy of being whole.  And that gives us peace.

It Is Well With My Soul

"It may not be well with our circumstances,

but with Jesus it is always well with our soul!"

Recently I read this quote in the comment section from a blog linked up to Spiritual Sundays.  It came to mind for me today as I recalled all the posts and emails I have read this week where friends have asked for prayers as they go through great trials and emotional and mental health struggles. Add to that news this week from a long time friend who has had her cancer return after 6 yrs. along with another friend who is once again battling cancer. It saddens us to know what these dear people are going through.  Our circumstances can shake us to our very core, and because we live in a broken world, we can expect life to hold more than a few of those shake-ups for each of us. 

Yet we know we are not alone.  We know that with Jesus by our side, we can do all things through Christ who continually pours His strength into us. (Phil.4:13)  We know that even though the world around us is in turmoil, and our own circumstances seem overwhelming, with Jesus ALL is well with our soul.

God loves us unconditionally.  His son, our Savior, died for our sins.  And accepting Jesus into our lives brings to us eternal life.  No matter what comes our way, eternal life awaits us at the end of our earthly journey.  It is well with our soul.  With Jesus it is always well with our soul.

  When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well with my soul,
it is well, it is well with my soul.

Please stop over and visit Spiritual Sundays to read inspirational posts or link up your own.

The Lord Is My Peace

A friend put this paraphrased version of Psalm 23 on Facebook today and it was so wonderful I thought I would share it with everyone.  Author Judy Booth paraphrased this version for times of anxiety in our lives.

The Lord is my peace,  I shall not live in anxiety.

He puts me under His wings of comfort and calms

My spirit within me,

He takes all my anxieties on Himself

 and helps me focus on Him.

Yes, though I walk through a time of grave uncertainties and fierce anxieties

I will not fret ~ for you are my God.

Your Word and Your presence calm me now.

You hold my uncertainties in the palm of Your hand

You soothe my anxious mind

You smooth my wrinkled brow

Surely serenity and trust in You

shall fill all the days of my life,

and I shall keep my mind stayed on YOU forever.

Psalm 23