Monday, December 31, 2012

An Adventure In Faithful Living



As many do, I have been reflecting on the past year as it comes to an end.  It has truly been an incredible year for Joel and me, and we have much to rejoice over and be grateful for as we close out 2012. 

As you who visit my blog have read ~more than once~ Joel was healed overnight on January 24th 2012.  It rocked our world and put us on a quest not only for my healing, but also to learn all we could about this new adventure God had for us.  A big earthquake-like shift took place not only in Joel's body but in our minds and hearts.  We could never go back to the before, after experiencing what what we are learning now in the "after".  It was one of those precious times that defines you.

In retrospect, we can see how God slowly guided us for 3 years, providing information through people, books, teachings, and the Bible. I think He must have sighed and shook His head more than once at us and finally just decided to shake our world upside down with His power, so we could move deeper into our relationship with Him and His will for us. 

Yes it has been quite a year.  Up and down, round and round, and often just being still, we have stretched and grown in faith and understanding, coming closer to Father/God in ways we did not know we needed. 

Joel has been healed of Lyme, Bartonella, Babesia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Sleep Apnea, Hypothyroidism, Arthritis, and a number of debilitating symptoms occurring with those diseases. Just writing all those nasty illnesses and conditions out gives me pause and I can only bow my head and give thanks to God!  Joel is active and working again and LOVING IT!  He is riding his bike again and LOVING IT.  Yes, it has been an amazing year.

2012 has also brought us to our knees in obedience and patience as we struggled with why my healing did not happen "overnight".  Yet when we look back, we have seen so many changes....mostly deep inside of me.  Dealing with and healing from some PTSD as a result of the surfacing of repressed memories of sexual abuse has brought me closer to God and changed my relationship with Him in many positive ways.  I am physically stronger, able to manage exposures fragrances, etc. much more, and we are seeing some big physical changes take place.  I am rejoicing in all that I have been able to do in the past 6 months.  I am also impatient, but learning to rest in the Lord (Matt. 11:28-30),  trusting Jesus in the process.  His plan is always best as are His ways. 

Our family has been blessed this year for the most part with good health, good provisions, and protection.  They live in faith, and for that we are so grateful!

Certainly, life is not all roses and sunshine.  Death comes to those we love and care about, and so does pain and suffering.  Our country struggles with paying its bills, our communities seem fractured, and as human beings we cannot grasp why innocent children die at the hands of others.  It is with effort that we move our eyes and focus away from those things and keep our eyes on Jesus.  It is with joy that we take hold of the many blessings we have and treasure each one knowing that in this broken and fallen world, God is with us.

Today, with the close of 2012, we give thanks that this year has been such a treasure chest of blessings for us and we rejoice that God walked with us through such a wonderful adventure in faithful living!  We hope and pray the same for all of us in 2013!

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Thursday, December 27, 2012

God Weaves The Patterns

On Christmas Eve day Joel brought the mail in and handed me a package from the state of Georgia.  I looked at him and asked, "Did you order me a gift?"  He shook his head no.  I did not know anyone in Georgia, so with interest I opened the envelope.  Inside was this beautiful matted writing of Matthew 11:28.



There is was again.....the verse that God has been sharing with me for over 3 months now!  I had just read a devotional that morning by Rick Warren that spoke about how God wants us to come home to Him this Christmas.... A place where we will find peace.  And then he quoted the first part of Matthew 11:28.  Now just a few hours later I opened a gift that arrived in God's perfect timing and read what has become a powerful message sent from God countless times for me.

This friend who sent me this beautiful creation of art?  I have never met her in person, but God brought us together.  About 2 years ago we belonged to a nation wide conference call prayer group who prayed for over 500 people who suffered with Lyme.  Kim was struggling with the same illnesses I was.  During a 40 day type of fast/prayer time that we participated in, God revealed to me something for Kim, so I emailed her and told her what I thought were words of knowledge from God.  She replied, and our friendship began.  Then I found her blog by "accident" and she started reading mine too. We connected on Facebook, and continue to pray for each other today. 

Kim is young, and I will be age 65 in March.  She just married, and Joel and I have been married over 44 years.  They live and work in the hustle and bustle of New York.  We live in the state of Iowa with its cornfields and farms.  She has cats and we have a dog.  :)  We are an unusual match I expect, except for what draws us together outweighs all the other differences.  We both desire to serve our Lord, live in obedience to Him, pray for others believing God hears and answers our prayers,  and also believe that He has a plan for our lives that includes healing. 

I just love how God weaves the patterns of our lives together for His purpose.   And every time I look over to my right and see this special creation of art sitting on the end table,  I give thanks for K. and the blessings she brings into my life.  I give thanks that God loves us so much He is in every detail of every day we have here on earth.  He is in the gift sent from a far away friend.  I am blessed.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

A Church In The Foothills

 

Zortman Montana Church

Every year about this time I reflect on a special Christmas service our family attended in 1978.  I have shared this before, but thought I would re-post as a story I wrote for our local newspaper a few years ago.

When my husband was in the seminary we spent his Internship year in North Central Montana. Malta’s Parish consisted of four main Lutheran churches, a hot springs resort chapel, and a tiny church in Zortman, Mt. ~ a historic mining town nestled in the foothills of the Little Rocky Mountains. Joel and his internship pastor ministered to all of these areas.

The services at Zortman were held once a month, with most people driving around 75 miles across gravel roads to attend church and worship together. The small Catholic church sat on the top of a high hill and was one of only a few buidlings in this small town. I believe at that time there were 9 full time residents in the place. People from the surrounding area often came to enjoy what the Little Rockies had to offer, and the small café/bar provided nourishment when they visited. We had the privilege of being a part of the Christmas service the year we were there, and it is stored away in our memories forever.

Our family drove the long distance through snow and freezing temperatures that December, arriving with many others shortly before the service. Everyone gathered at the local cafe beforehand, with all of us dressed for the bitter cold in snowmobile suits, snowsuits, insulated underwear, heavy boots, scarves, and warm mittens. When it was time for the services to begin, everything in the little town closed up. It was dark outside, and as we left the cafe many of us were given lanterns to carry up the long hill to the church. We were one of the last families to leave, and in doing so we were able to watch the glowing lights move up the steep winding path as the people walked the trail to the church. As each person carrying a lantern entered the sanctuary, the church filled up with light. What a beautiful sight to see!

Once we arrived in the sanctuary, we all huddled together on benches to keep warm. The wood burning potbelly stove, which stood in the corner of the room, gave off a warm glow and provided the only heat in the church. Our hymns of Christmas joy were especially meaningful as we sang along to thee old pump organ. Joel's breath was visible as he preached the Christmas message.  For many reasons, the Christmas story of Jesus being born in a humble stable held special meaning for us that night.

When services were over, we all walked back down the hill guided by the lanterns and moonlit sky. All those who attended went into the local bar/café for coffee, dessert, and more fellowship together, before heading back out into the cold and traveling home.



The service in the Little Rockies is forever a beautiful memory etched on our minds. Across the world people were coming together to worship our Lord and Savior and celebrate His birth. It did not matter whether we were worshiping in a big cathedral in New York City,  or a tiny “borrowed”  Catholic church in a small historic mining town in Montana. The focus was the same ~ giving glory to God for the birth of Jesus Christ, our Lord!

MERRY CHRISTMAS FRIENDS!

Friday, December 21, 2012

The Father's Love


With Christmas just a few days away, I cannot help but reflect on how much our Heavenly Father loves us. The visible proof of that love came in the form of a baby.  A baby born in a stable in Bethlehem for us.  FOR YOU AND FOR ME.

Knowing fully the love of my Heavenly Father did not really come to pass until this past week.  I knew He loved me, but I guess I did not "know that I know that I know?"....that kind of knowing that goes deep into your soul and fills you to overflowing.  The kind of knowing that has given me the trust needed to believe Him when He says, "I am with you." I want you to know how wide and how long and how deep my love is for you."  Going through the Sozo healing session was so amazing, and one of the most astonishing results was the deep unconditional love flowing through me from my Father.  It went from a head knowledge to a heart knowledge, and changed me.

Jesus does the same for each of us.  He came into the world out of love....created from a loving Heavenly Father....and He changed the world!   A Savior came for you and for me, and by His stripes we are saved and we are healed.


As we celebrate Christmas, may we each know and experience fully that great love ~ wider, deeper, and higher than we can ever imagine.  And may we turn around and share it with everyone we meet!  Wrap yourselves up in our Father's love and give thanks for that tiny baby, born of Mary, who came to change the world. And did.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

In Quietness And Trust

"In quietness and trust shall be your strength"
Isaiah 30:15

On Tuesday Joel and I drove through a nasty snow storm up to the Twin Cities in MN. to go to Sozo Ministry sessions for inner healing.  Joel did this as part of his training for Sozo Ministries which deals with inner healing and deliverance,  and I went because we believed this type of Holy Spirit/Jesus guided counseling would be very helpful for me in releasing any childhood trauma.  The people who meet with you meditate ahead of time on your names.  Both of us experienced a deep peace and confirmation when they shared with us (separately) what the Holy Spirit revealed to them to tell us.  They knew nothing about us, but GOD DID, and His words came across clearly. 

One of the three women who were with me shared a  verse and some words that came to her as she was meditating......."In quietness and trust shall be your strength"  which God has given to me one morning just a few days ago while I was meditating and visiting the garden with visualization.  Then she said, The Father says, "Come and rest.  Let me hold you, do not fear."

Well, needless to say, with having received Matt 11:28-30 twenty-three times this fall, I knew the "come and rest" was a confirmation that Sozo ministry was for me!  It was very helpful and a bit tiring since my session lasted 3 1/2 hours!  Joel had a good nap while he waited.

I am sharing some of my experience because I believe there are others who can find help, release, joy, healing, freedom, and a deeper relationship with our Father/God through this type of ministry.  It was so amazing, and the physical energy that came for me afterwards has  delighted us.  Healing took place and for that we are doing a happy dance :).

As we were leaving the session one of the women who helped moderate my session asked me to sit on the hard chair against the wall, so she could pray for me.  She had heard from the HS that I had been in an accident (which I had many years ago and then just a couple years ago).  She said she wanted to pray for my legs to be the same length.  Joel stood by her and watched as she prayed.  I felt my leg move from the hip and upper thigh area and Joel saw my right leg lengthen until it was even with my left.  She then said to me, "Jesus is the only chiropractor I need now."   Pretty cool!

God desires to make us whole.  Being whole, means we are healthy not only physically but emotionally and mentally too.  Every part of us is touched in some way when Jesus heals.  I certainly did find a new sense of quietness and trust on Tuesday and am so grateful my friend encouraged me to go.  In quietness and trust (in God) will be my strength.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Lord, Hear Our Prayers

My dear friend Linny, over at A Place Called Simplicity is having a day of prayer and fasting tomorrow for all those who are in need of prayer.  You can leave your own requests, pray for others who leave requests and continue to lift up in prayer those who lost loved ones in the Newtown CT shootings and the 22 children who were stabbed at a school in China on the same day. 

Speaking of Newtown, another blogger, Anita, shared a post that her friend from there wrote on her own blog about the kind of place Newtown is and why they love living there.  You can read about it Here.

It is one week until Christmas.  Our world hungers for peace  and comfort at this time and that is where we can find it.......in a manger, in the form of a tiny baby.  Jesus.... Our Savior, our Redeemer, our Healer, our Comforter.  He brings peace to our broken world.

We have the privilege of praying anywhere and any time in our country.  Let's continue to lift our voices to Heaven.  Lord, hear our prayers.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Sunday's Scripture

"Rejoice with those who rejoice,
weep with those who weep"
Romans 12:15b

This past week we received Christmas newsletters where sorrow and brokenness were shared. A friend Joel worked with in a former parish had died and his wife shared about his journey.  Dear friends shared that their two daughters are both fighting cancer, and another friend shared about the death of their loved one.  Yesterday Joel was visiting with yet another friend who is grieving the loss of his wife to cancer.  I just heard that an internet friend had a mild stroke after having dental surgery.  Our hearts break for them.

We also heard from others about the joys of new babies, grandchildren, new jobs, trips they have taken, and the good health they are enjoying.  There is much to rejoice about, too, but this week's news seems especially heavy on our hearts.



We weep with those whose children and loved ones died in Newtown CT.  We grieve with hope, knowing that they are being held in the arms of Jesus, while remembering that families will be united again in Heaven. It gives us comfort during difficult times.

We weep for the violence that permeates our communities.  We weep for those who are tormented and disturbed, and for the devastation it causes in the lives of others.  We weep for the innocent.

Let us remember in prayer all those whose Christmases might not be so joyful this year.  When Christ lives in us, it is what we are called to do.  Love one another, rejoice with those who rejoice and grieve with those who grieve.  We are called to reach out in prayer, encouragement and support.  We rejoice that God has given us this privilege.  We rejoice that God is faithful, and loving, delighting in us......rejoicing with us.......weeping with us.  We are blessed.

Friday, December 14, 2012

God's Heart Is Filled with Pain


"The Lord was grieved that He had made man on the earth,
and His heart was filled with pain."
Genesis 6:6
 
The tragedy in Newtown CT is beyond our comprehension.  It has stunned the world that someone could go into a classroom of precious little children and methodically kill them.  Innocent little ones with only a few years of their lives lived.  So much lost.....so much pain and sorrow.  So much trauma in those left behind. 
 
Lord have mercy.

I could not help but think of this verse today.  I expect at times God still grieves that He ever made man on the earth.  His heart must fill with pain at the horrors we humans inflict on each other.  And He has a special place in His heart for children.
 
Today many little children were welcomed into the Lord's arms.  Not only in CT. but around the world.  Evil takes many forms........But today we focus on the shocking tragedy that unfolded before our eyes.. The children.  Who could do this to children.   It is pure evil.  E.V.I.L   Only cowards go after children.....and Satan is a coward.
 
Today we are all angry over this senseless act of evil.  There will not be any answers that satisfy us as the story of this gunman unfolds.  Today we are saddened and mourn the loss of so many innocent children and the teachers who loved them.  Our hearts break and we hug each other a little more and a little longer.  
 
This tragedy is NOT God's will.  He did not ordain this.  God grieves as we grieve the loss of life here.  This happened because we live in a fallen world.  God grieves with us all this day and His heart is filled with pain.
 
 
 
 


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Levi's Worst Case Scenario

Levi with our youngest grandson Jonas


Whenever we are going to broil turkey burgers, our dog Levi gets nervous.  We put the kitchen fan on, put the burgers under the broiler, and Levi heads for the smallest room on the main floor to hide~ the bathroom.  If I am in my chair he heads over to me, jumps up and shakes so hard he has us both vibrating.  Oh how he hates to hear that kitchen fan going.......He is expecting the worst.

It seems that more than once in the past the broiler has set off the fire alarms.  All three on the main level.  It is a bit challenging for our human ears, yet alone a dog's.  He hears the fan, he smells the meat, and he is expecting the alarms to pierce his ears. He is sure the worst is coming and his body starts reacting well before the alarm goes off.

We talk to him in a soft voice, we coax him, soothe him, but to no avail.  All he can think about is that piercing noise that is coming......2+2  always =4  ~ right??

I think we can relate to this scenario at times.  Something comes up, and we are right back into the past and expecting the worst to happen.  The past warns us.........and we are so ready to listen, expecting bad news.   God whispers in our ear, soothes our soul and tells us it will be okay, but we have a difficult time taking our focus off the circumstances.  We may even react before the dreaded "thing" arrives....we just know it is going to rock our world again and we respond from a place within that is connected to our past, to our humanness.

The difference between our dog Levi and us is the ability to reason things out.  The ability to turn to God's Word and trust His promises.  We can make that choice!  We know that all will be okay because God tells us it will. 

"All things work together for good for those who love the Lord."
Romans 8:28

We can find the peace we need because God tells us how in Isaiah.

"The Lord wil keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed upon Him
because he trusts in Him."
Isaiah 26:3

We need not let fear rule our lives.  We know we have what we need for every situation.

"We have not been given a spirit of fear,
but a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind."
2 Tim 1:7

 We need not expect the worst to happen.   God has promised us the best!

"For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord,
plans for good and not for evil,
to give you a future and a hope."
Jeremiah 29:11
Levi, our "little guy" turns to us for safety.  Who do we turn to for safety?  God of course!  We find assurance and peace in His Word and His promises.  Always. 

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

PTS Revisited



Recently I came across an article written by Bonnie Gray, a writer for (In)Courage, a wonderful site where women share devotionals and encouraging words with their readers.  Bonnie had written a post referring back to another post she wrote on her own blog, Faith Barista.  It is a powerful story of how after years as a successful career woman with a love for the Lord, she found herself in the depths of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from re-surfacing childhood trauma. I recommend you take the time to read it.

She held my attention as she shared how her body responded physically to events that had occurred in her childhood.  Events she had kept hidden inside.  The top notch therapist she saw told her that PSTD happens not only to vets, or others who go through physical or sexual abuse or events in their lives like 9-11, but that it occurs in those who experience emotional or verbal abuse also.  He told her that PTS and anxiety attacks like she was experiencing usually happen in the strong.  In those who have conquered life in spite of what they went through.  It usually comes up in their 40's and is triggered by another person or event.  This world expert therapist told her it was good news.  WHY?  Because, as he stated, "God is loving the hidden parts of you back to life."

I know that I know that I know God guided me to this post by Bonnie Gray. It was as if  this therapist was speaking to me, or more importantly GOD was speaking to me.  Lately He has been walking me through the traumas of my own childhood, most of which I thought of as minor.  I believed that the abuse was the only cause of the PTS my doctor diagnosed me with,  until she told me that I was not only experiencing issues from the abuse, but from some of those "minor" events too.  My argument was that others had it so much worse.  My argument was that I knew I was loved.  I blamed myself for my reactions and  tried to erase the diagnosis of PTSD itself.  Really?  Come on!  Yet time and time again something would come up and is still surfacing, and I am always stunned by how my body reacts and then shuts down in response when it does not feel safe.  In my head it is all reasoned out and understood and my faith is strong. I get it.  I move forward in courage knowing this is not real for today, but the body's response?  Over the top! 

Reading Bonnie Gray's open and honest post of her own journey has helped me to understand, accept and share with transparency some of my own journey, hoping it will help others the way Bonnie's story has helped me. 

Just like in Bonnie, God wants to heal the hidden and broken parts of me too.  It is why I am to rest in His love.  It is one of the reasons He brought to my attention Matthew 11:28-30 more than 23 times in 6 weeks.  He desires me to give Him my burdens.   God wants to heal the broken parts of all of us.  You may not struggle with PTS, but we all need restoration in one way or another.  It is not easy but with God's love and guidance we find the courage to heal and be free.

"It is for freedom that Christ set us free. 
Stand firm, therefore, and do not let yourselves
be burdened again with a yoke of slavery."
 
Galatians 5:1

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Advent: Waiting



It is the first Sunday in Advent and having been raised in a Lutheran church and being married to a Lutheran pastor for over 44 years, Advent has been an important part of the Christmas season for me as long as I can remember.  Advent....a time of waiting in anticipation for the coming of our Savior. 

When our children were at home we focused on Advent every night, lighting candles, opening the individual "doors" on an Advent calendar, reading our advent devotionals, and singing Christmas hymns and praying.  Our nest has been empty a long time now, but Joel and I still open the doors of an Advent calendar~~an online one sent from Jacque Larson's site by our friends Marie and Lyn , and we have daily devotions bringing Advent into that time with God.  It returns our focus to the reason why we celebrate Christmas.  A tiny baby in a manger.

Advent is a time of waiting and preparation, but I admit I have felt like this whole year has been a time of waiting.  Ever since we started on this healing journey with Joel, I have been waiting for my full healing to come to pass.  All my striving has not brought me to wholeness, but it has brought me to a place of rest because God has been telling me the past few months to rest in Him...rest in His love.  Waiting...trusting.....letting go of the notion that my healing will be accomplished by my own effort. 

So this year for Advent I am doing a study on resting in God's love as I continue to draw closer to the Healer and take my focus off of healing.  I started my adventure last week when I watched a video at Wommack's ministries on resting in God's love,  and today I decided that, like my friend Kim, I was going to combine my study on God's love with Advent. The Bible has quite a bit to say on God's love and on resting, and they often cross paths.  Today He already began to bless my journey.

I usually watch Rick Warren on Sunday mornings since I am still unable to attend church.  I could not get the online service feed to work for me so began searching for something else to watch.  By accident(?) I came across a Heidi Baker video on Lavish Grace.  The first time I ever watched Heidi Baker I was completely freaked out.  She was way out of my comfort zone, but I have come to realize that she is the real deal, even when her actions seem over the top.  I have never been one of the "frozen chosen" as I have heard Lutherans so biasly described, but I have not been a Heidi Baker either.  Somewhere in-between.  In fact, 2 yrs ago when I read her book "Always Enough" I could not finish it.  I tucked it behind some other books on a shelf and just recently I found myself searching for it  She certainly is a mighty servant of God with a heart for Jesus. That is evident in the 10,000 churches she and her husband have planted in Mozambique.

Today she talked about having a father-daughter relationship with God. When we say yes to God we are no longer orphan spirits, but daughters and sons of God. She talked about how much He loves us, and how we can rest in that love.

Which brings it right back to being a matter of the heart.  A matter of trust. Resting is a matter of trust and so is waiting.  Whether we are waiting for a healing to manifest, a relationship to heal, or a baby in a tiny manger.  It is a matter of trusting God. 

And I would challenge you in your waiting............do you think God is waiting for us too?  Waiting for us to come to Him, lay down our burdens and take on His yoke?   Accept His plan for our lives?  Is He waiting for us to trust Him?  To climb up on His lap as His child and say, I love you Father/Abba/Daddy.  To rest in His arms knowing that He loves and delights in us, His daughters and sons.  Advent..........centered on love and a time of waiting......our waiting and God's.

"The Lord your God is with you
The mighty One will save
He will rejoice over you
You will rest in His love
he will sing and be joyful about you." 
 
Zephaniah 3:17
NCV
 

  

Friday, November 30, 2012

Yoking Up: God's Love

Then Jesus said,
'Come unto me all of you who are weary
and carrying heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you. 
Let me teach you
because I am humble and gentle at heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.'" (NLT)
"My yoke is easy
and my burden is light.'" ( NIV)

Matthew 11:28-30

Today I watched for the second time a Biblical teaching on resting in God's love that I had first watched in September.  At that time I was in the midst of a downward spiral with my health and my heart was closed to much of what I was hearing.  Today, the title of this teaching caught my attention once again, and I opened my heart to what God had to say as the speaker talked about resting in HIS love.

The woman who spoke  had done an in depth study on God's love and its connection to our heart.  These words resonated for me:

"Whatever we think we know about God's love, there is more!"

 
It was nearly two years ago that a dear friend shared with me words of knowledge from God. Along with other things, she shared these words ~ "God loves you, Renee.  God wants you well."  It was 6 months later that the leader of a prayer group I belonged to told me the same words of knowledge~  "God wants you well."  I have held those words closely to me and so when they came for a third time in the the title of a teaching on healing yet another friend encouraged us to watch last January, I knew we were being led down a new path.  God Wants You Well was the teaching we watched that changed our lives forever and opened a new way of believing to us that resulted in Joel's overnight healing. 

I have shared in the past few weeks the 23+ times Matthew 11:28-30 was given to me by God, which put me on a quest of resting with Jesus....seeking the Healer more than the healing.  It has been a daily journey, with setbacks and breakthroughs, as I have struggled with keeping my focus on Jesus and His Word instead of how I feel.  Now I am hearing about rest once again~ this resting in God's love.  A matter of the heart.  A matter of trust. 

It is in God's love that we find salvation and eternal life.  It is in God's love that we find forgiveness.   It is in God's love that we find healing.  In God's love we find acceptance, assurance, worthiness, peace, and so much more.  And God cannot and will not ever withhold His love from us.

"For God so loved the world
that He gave His only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish,
but have everlasting life."
John 3:16
 
Resting in God's love means we trust Him with our whole lives, knowing that we know that we know He wants the very best for us.  Knowing that we can always trust Him.  Knowing that having an intimate relationship with God is His desire, too.  We find that "knowing" in His Word.  Here is where truth and Spirit meet, showing His deep love for us.

"May you have the power to understand,
as all God's people should,
how wide, how long, how high,
and how deep His love is."
Ephesians 3:18
NLT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"My child, pay attention to what I say
Listen carefully to my words
Don't lose sight of them
Let them penetrate deep into your heart
For they bring life to those that find them
And healing to their whole body." 
 
Proverbs 4:20-23 
NIV

 
 I am linking up to Spiritual Sundays today.  Stop over and read more posts or link up your own.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Letting God Define You

I was watching Joel Osteen this morning...I often call his preaching the dessert of my Sunday services menu.  My meat and potatoes come from Rick Warren, Charles Stanley, and others, and then Joel   Osteen gives me the personal boost I need...the dessert.  Today he was talking about the power in the words "I am".  We know in the Bible that God uses those words to describe Himself.  I AM.  Powerful!  

We also release power in our lives with these words.   I like what Joel Osteen says, "What follows the "I am" will follow us!" We can bless or curse our lives with our words!  And what we say about others also affects our own lives.

It is not "positive thinking" that I am talking about here.  The Bible speaks often of the power that is held in the tongue...for good or for evil.  In Proverbs 18:21 we are told "there is life and death in the power of our words."  We need to take that verse very seriously. 

Don't let anyone define us but God!  We insult God when we speak negative about ourselves or believe the negative things others say over us. We are in affect telling God He did not do a good job creating us! He created you and the Bible says in Zephaniah 3:17 that God delights in us! 

He knew us before we were formed in our mother's womb.  God created us with unique and special gifts for His purpose.  It would be a very sad and stunted world if we all were alike.  God loves us enough to make each of us unique and one of a kind.  Ask yourselves these questions: Who does God say you are?  Who does God's Word say you are?  This is what needs to come out of our mouths.  This is what we need to meditate on.

Let God define you.
He delights in you!
~~
I am loved by God
I am unique and special
I am a mighty woman/man of God
I am who God and His Word says I am
I am God's Masterpiece!

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Sunday's Psalm

 
 
"Let them praise the Lord for His great love
and for all the wonderful things He has done for them."
Psalm 107:8
 
 
WIshing those who celebrate Thanksgiving
a day filled with all the bountiful blessings
that God provides.
 
 

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Your Word Is Truth



Reaching out to God for clarity, for insights, for a better understanding of everything and anything in our lives, I find myself always coming back to His Word.  No matter what path I start out on, I always end up at the same place.  His Word.  Maybe because everything we need in life is found in the pages of the Bible, and it is there that we find the truth.  How do we know that?  The Bible tells us so!  God does not lie.  He cannot.  He will not.

Need advice for a situation?  Go to His Word.  Need encouragement for your circumstances?  You will find it in the Bible.  Need to learn about healing?  It is right there in the pages of this precious book.  Do you need someone to rely on?  Search out a few of the over 7000 promises from our Lord and hold them tight.  Remember that God does NOT break His promises!

If you want to learn about how much God really loves you, you can open the pages of your Bible.  If you want to know about salvation or forgiveness, it is all there.  From Genesis to Revelation this book is power-packed with ALL we need  GOD"S WORD IS TRUTH!  We are blessed.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Sunday's Proverb

Healer
 
I love this song by Kari Jobe.
 Jesus is our Healer.  Praise God!
May God touch you today deep in your soul
 with these verses from
Proverbs 4:20-23
 
"My child, pay attention to what I say.
Listen carefully to my words
Don't lose sight of them
Let them penetrate deep into your heart
For they bring life to those who find them
And healing to the whole body."

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Yoking Up: Light And Easy

Last Thursday I watched a man from Australia speak on healing.  During his hour long talk he mentioned......yes, you guessed it, he mentioned Matthew 11:28-30.  AGAIN!  Then Friday, it happened while I was a video on a blog....and Saturday I was reading the forward of a book by Lillian Yeoman's entitled The Balm of Gilead. She concluded her forward with Matthew 11.  I have stopped trying to find closure with this adventure....It will be over when God says it is over!

So in the past 6 weeks God had brought me to these verses 23 times from 23 different sources.   I am speaking the truth here.  I have never had this happen before nor has my husband.  What is going on??  I cannot help but ponder the meaning behind these encounters.  Either I am thick headed and unable to "get" what Jesus wants to tell me, or I am being given a special gift here from God and am soaking in His blessings.  I am going with the special gift idea!  I do know this is empowering my life.  

Thursday's teaching on Luke 4 gave me something new to ponder, as the teacher talked about how Jesus came to heal the broken-hearted.  That He came to yoke together with us, and root out those unhealthy emotions and thoughts that hold us captive, so we can walk free from bondage.  This man shared he has a plaque in his office that says, "Light and Easy".  I would love to find one of those.  He went on to share that we will be blessed when we take on Jesus' yoke.  Some other words from this teacher to think about ~~~If your yoke is not light and easy?  Maybe you are not in God's will or you have taken on His yoke but are trying to do things your own way.

On Friday I watched a video that was for those people who are feel called into a healing ministry.  The teacher shared that we need to remember we, ourselves, don't add anything to God's presence.  God does the healing, we are just a tool..and we do not want to get in the way of what He is doing in the life of another.  We need to relax in His presence and let Him fill our soul.  Rest as he has called us to do in Matthew 11.

Lillian Yeoman wrote in the forward of her book, "Even if we have forgotten or ignored the "Physician of Gilead" he has not forsaken us and His sweet voice, like bells of evening pealing, still calls over land and sea  'Come unto me all ye..........heavy laden and I will give you rest.'  This small book is a faint echo of this gracious invitation.'"

A friend of mine sent me an email today telling me she had just heard a whole sermon on
Matt. 11:28-30 this past Sunday at her church, and when it was available online she would send it to me!  It seems the journey continues.......and I am grateful for it and learning to rest, relax, move aside, stay focused, and yoke up with Jesus along the way.  After all, he has sent me a gracious invitation.....23 times!

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Sunday's Psalm

"But Thou art holy, O Thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel."
Psalm 22:3
KJV
 
Thank you Lord for
dwelling in the praises of
Your people.
 
You inhabit
our
praises.
 
What an
amazing
concept!
 
What an
amazing
truth.
 
Thank you Lord
for
dwelling
in the praises
of
Your
people!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Yoking Up: Staying In Intimacy

Then Jesus said,
'Come unto me all of you who are weary
and carrying heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you. 
Let me teach you
because I am humble and gentle at heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.'" (NLT)
"My yoke is easy
and my burden is light.'" ( NIV)
Matthew 11:28-30

Tuesday morning I was watching Todd White speak online about our relationship with God.  Todd White is an unorthodox "street minister" who has the gift of healing and in obedience to God he uses this special anointing to heal others and introduce them to Christ.   As I listened to him speak, I became aware of God's presence in his words.  He was talking about those who desire healing so much that that is all they focus on.  Seeking healing becomes not only their main goal, but also their identity.  Even though Jesus healed all who came to Him, what He truly wants is a close relationship with us.  He wants us to "stay in intimacy" with Him. 

The first thing that popped into my head were the verses from Matthew 11.  Twenty encounters later, these verses are still speaking to me and today they settled in my heart with a new awareness.  "Come to Me....."  Yes, Lord.  "I will give you rest....."  Yes, Lord.



Just stay close to me Jesus is saying.  Stay in intimacy with me, and You will find peace and security as "My yoke is easy and My burden is light."  You will be loved with My perfect love. THIS is what God wants for us.  He delights in us.  He rejoices over us as Zephaniah 3:17 tells us.  God wants to have a close relationship with His children and He desires us to want the same.  As God's children our identity comes from the cross. 

Staying in intimacy with someone or the Someone requires trusting them.  God often reminds us in scripture to trust in Him beyond our understanding.  Staying in intimacy means we not only share our own thoughts, feelings, dreams, etc. but we listen.  Intimacy with another or the Another requires communion and communication. 

God does not seem to be done with teaching me all I need to learn from Matthew 11.  It is astonishing how much is held within just a few words from Jesus.   I am blown away by all that I have been shown so far in these few verses.  Intimacy, security, peace, trust, releasing burdens, perfect love, and casting out fear.  I am so blessed to be loved by my Heavenly Father.  I am so grateful.  Yes, so grateful while entering into rest with Jesus.

FOR HIS WORD IS TRUTH
 


Monday, October 29, 2012

The Joy Of The Lord



We were fixing supper tonight.......squash, sweet potatoes, and grilled turkey burgers.  While Joel was watching the burgers, I went up to the office to get something and noticed all the lights on the printer flashing....I yelled at Joel and he came up to try and fix it.  We were focused on the machine when suddenly the smell of broiling burgers came into the room.   I went downstairs to check on supper.  I peeked in the oven just as the fire alarm in the kitchen started going off......then the one in the dining room...and finally the one in the entry chimed it.  Joel ran downstairs and started dragging a chair from alarm to alarm to take the batteries out while I took care of the burgers and closed the oven door.

Finally the house was quiet except for the exasperation we both felt.  I looked at Joel and said, "The joy of the Lord is our strength."  The joy of the Lord is our strength!   He joined in ~ the joy of the Lord is our strength!

In the past couple of weeks this verse has been helping us through more than a few frustrations, a day or two of feeling down and out, and a few moments of life just not being fair.  It has also been the icing on the cake for some good times.  Sound familiar? 


Joy is defined by the dictionary as an emotion evoked by well-being and a source or cause of delight.

I know if you look at the context of this in Nehemiah it seems to relate to sorrow or grief......but I find it applies across the board.  Knowing who God is, knowing how much He loves us ~ His joy for us....THIS is our strength.  It seems to take the air out of frustration, supports us in our grief, and gives us peace during tough times.

 God's joy, His delight in us puts everything else in perspective. Even when the fire alarms are singing in unison, the printer is doing it's own dance, and the burgers are a bit chewy! 

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Sunday's Psalm

 
"Let all that I am praise the Lord,
with my whole heart, I will praise
His holy name.
Let all that I am praise the Lord;
may I never forget the good things
He does for me.
He forgives all my sins
and heals all my diseases.
He redeems me from death
and crowns me with love and
tender mercies.
He fills my life with good things.
My youth is renewed like the eagle's!"
 
Psalm 103:1-5

Friday, October 26, 2012

Yoking Up: Laboring To Enter

"Then Jesus said,
'Come unto me all of you who are weary
and carrying heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you. 
Let me teach you
because I am humble and gentle at heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.'" (NLT)
"My yoke is easy
and my burden is light.'" ( NIV)
 
Matthew 11:28-30
 
I am still meditating on the above verses, having received them now 18 times.   Now that I have passed the 5 week mark, I am officially no longer counting!  Seriously, I am blown away by this.  Even a friend has emailed me to let me know she has come across the verses a few times and thinks of me each time she does.  It seems to have taken on a life of it's own.  No matter,  I am so grateful to God for the love He has been showering on me and what I am learning as we walk together along this path!  Like it says in the above verses, "let Me teach you.."

Recently I was watching a teaching at Andrew Wommack's Ministry.  As the leader of their healing ministry was speaking, he brought up Matthew 11:28-30, and  made this statement ~
"We labor to enter into the rest of what Christ has already done for us. When we strive to do what He has already done for us, it is exhausting.  We either labor into resting with Jesus or we labor at everything else." 

Come unto me all ye who labor the King James translation says.  Laboring~ I knew in part what God was saying to me as soon as I heard these words.  I have been laboring to make my healing happen n.o.w.  The Lyme was dead and gone so I wanted all the symptoms to be gone too!  The abuse and fear connected to those memories had surfaced and been acknowledged and I wanted that part of my life to be over and done with.  Come on God, Joel was healed overnight, how about me?  Maybe if I do this............maybe if I do that..........I will......I can......I must.  My laboring. For 6 months now.....laboring.

Isaiah 53: 5b tells us "By HIS stripes we are healed."  The healing here means healing from diseases.  It is mentioned again in 1 Peter 2:24b and in Matthew 8:17.   In trying to simplify this I may complicate it, but Joel and I believe that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and for our diseases and that He wants us well.  Period. I won't muddy the waters by saying more, but as you know I am not seeing complete healing for my body.  In fact I have had a setback.  Yet.......we have seen it come to pass with the Lyme dying.  We have seen it come for a precancerous sore on my arm that disappeared after Joel prayed over it.  We have seen healing in my body and soul from the abuse.  We have seen my eye pressure go back to normal.  We have seen my thyroid heal enough that I am now taking 1/10th of the medicine I was taking for the past 27 years.  We believe we will see more of God's healing. To God be the glory.

I know these verses hold treasures for the battle I have been waging to heal.  He has provided all I need, so I rest in it.  I find rest in what He has already done for me, rest in the peace of knowing Him as my Savior and my friend, rest in letting Him be in control, rest in His promises found in the Word only. 

Jesus says, "My yoke is easy and My burden is light."  So I have had to ask, what am I yoked up if not Jesus?  Yoked up to fear, yoked up to symptoms, yoked up to doing it all on my own?  As long as I can remember my perception has been that I need to do what I had to in order to survive ~ abuse...other childhood stuff.....CFS....Lyme....MCS....cancer......Taking it to the Lord, but then taking it back and carrying it around as I labored to survive.  A backpack or two filled with heavy burdens yoking me in bondage! 

"I will give you rest."  This needs to be enough.  T.R.U.S.T.I.N.G in His Word, His promises, His plan, His rest.  A couple of weeks ago I began to worry the Lyme was coming back.  When I prayed for God to speak to me in His Word I was led to these verses. 

Moses told his people, 'Don't be afraid. 
Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. 
The Egyptians  you see today will never be seen again. 
 The Lord Himself will fight for you.  Just.  Stay. Calm.
Exodus 14:13-14

For me, the Egyptians are the Lyme bacteria. They are like a might army destroying the bodies they invade. I can stand on this and along with Matthew 11, resting in the knowledge of what He has already done for us on the cross. "It is finished". No matter what tomorrow holds, it is finished and we can heed His call to "come to Me....and rest".

So, here I am, still soaking in these verses that God has blessed me with 18 times.  Still taking time to meditate on them and giving thanks for all I am learning on the journey.  I hope that as I have shared my own God-guided steps along the way that you have gleaned something from them too.  God loves us so much, and wants a close relationship with us.  He desires to speak to us as much as we desire to speak to Him.  He delights in us! Knowing that, we can understand and take comfrot in the words below~


 

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Yoking Up: Defining Rest

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened,
and I will cause you to rest.
[I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]
 Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me,
for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart,
and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment
and recreation and blessed quiet)
for your souls.
  For My yoke is wholesome
(useful, good—not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant),
and My burden is light and easy to be borne
Matthew 11:28-30

Amplified

As of Monday, I have now received the verses Matthew 11:28-30 fifteen times.  Fifteen times in the last 4 weeks from fifteen different sources.  A couple of days ago I heard a speaker say if you get the same scripture twice in a row, you better listen.  So, what does it mean when you get it fifteen times?  Serious business I expect.

I am still trying to figure out all the meaning behind these verses. I might be making it more complicated than it is, but about three weeks ago I decided to start meditating on what God was trying to tell me.  The first thing I did was look up the Greek meaning for some of the words....most importantly for me, the word REST.  If you recall I was rebelling because I was back in my recliner, and I was wondering whether the meaning of rest in this scripture was literal~ like,  kick-back-in-your-recliner-and-rest real. Resign yourself to your recliner. 

As I searched for the Greek definitions of rest in Matthew 11, I found this.

From BibleTools.com
The New Testament. The primary Greek words are the nouns anapausis [ajnavpausi"] and katapausis [katavpausi"], and the verbs anapauo [ajnapauvw] and katapauo [katapauvw].

In the Gospels the theology of rest is most clearly articulated in the words of Jesus: "come to me and I will give you rest and you will find rest for your souls" ( Matt 11:28-30 ). The rest he promises is certainly for the world to come, but it is also for this world. It (THE REST) is the sense of security and peace that flows from a right relation with God, the Father, through obedience to his Son, , and membership in his kingdom.
~~~~~~
(Rest for the soul.)

The words I highlighted resonated with me. Security and peace....I have come before God more than once this year seeking both at higher levels in my life. It seems God is telling me...loudly...and often...... that living a life of peace and security is found in my relationship with God and His Son Jesus. Come to ME Jesus is saying. He and HE ALONE will give us the sense of peace and safety we desire when we draw close to Him. Part of that resting in the Lord is to surrender to His plan for your life.  Resting....letting go....surrendering....trusting.  God truly wants to be in a relationship with us . It needs to be our top priority, everything else flows from that. His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

When I read the amplified translation, it confirmed for me that the resting I needed was for my soul.  Weary, carrying heavy burdens~ these are not necessarily physical...they very well could be the soul burdens that make us so tired.  What we carry around that we could leave at the cross.  What we carry around that we need to trust Jesus with.

Let's define our souls. We are made up of body, soul, and spirit. The Spirit of Christ lives in us, the same power that raised Jesus from the dead.  Our body is the outer shell that carries us, that keeps us alive. Our flesh.  The soul is our mind and our emotions. It is here that the battle often lies. The enemy loves to deceive us by wrapping up our mind and emotions, twisting the truth, but we need to remember that the truth lies in God's Word.  Jesus promises us in Matthew 11 that when we come to Him, loving and learning from our relationship with Him, that His yoke will be easy and His burden will be light. 

Come to me Jesus whispers......come to me He beckons.....and when we don't hear Him the first time nor the second....or even the third....He is persistent in His love for us and continues to say......come to me.... surrender in Me, let go, don't try so hard.....just rest in Me. 


 

Monday, October 15, 2012

MBM: Because I Prayed, Mommy!



Memorial Box Monday was created by Linny over at A Place Called Simplicity as a way to remember what God has done for us.  The stories we share remind us of God's faithfulness and provision.  To learn more about it, read the posts others have shared, or link up your own stop over and visit Linny.  My story takes us back many years to a time when we had a young family.

We were stationed in The Philippine Islands where Joel was forecasting weather for Air Force Pilots. It was 1975 and we were getting to know our second daughter N. whom we adopted when she was 4 months old. She brought great joy into our family; Dad, Mom, older sister B. and brother M. were excited to bring home a new sister. Along with N. came a number of health problems of which staph was one. She had boils from the staph infection that filled her body which often gave her fevers of 104-106. Three of us contracted the infection and were dealing with boils ourselves. Boils of this type do not come to a "head" and would need to opened with a knife and drained. A painful procedure.

Our 5 year old daughter, B. ended up with a boil in the corner of her eye. Once it was ready to be lanced we took her into the ER at the base hospital for the procedure. We were concerned how this would go since it was in such a delicate area. We prayed for her before the doctors took her in to the surgical room, but truthfully we expcted to hear her cries and waited with bated breath.

Nothing.

No crying.

Just silence.

When they brought her back out to us, the boil was gone and she was doing just fine. We asked B. if it hurt when they lanced the boil. She replied, "No."  This worried mom probed a bit deeper...."Did it hurt at all?" I asked. Her reply humbled us. "No, mommy, it did not hurt. I knew it wouldn't because I prayed, Mommy. I prayed it would not hurt."

She prayed.

She believed.

God answered.

Her parents were humbled.

We rejoiced.

Often boils come back in the same areas and refill with infectious puss. This one did not. It was gone for good. The pain non-existent and the boil healed by our loving God.

God is our provider. He provides healing, restoration, financial needs, and yes painless lancing of a boil on the eye. God is faithful. He hears our prayers. He answers, and we rejoice!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Ponder These.......

"Fears
are stories
we tell ourselves"
 
~~~~~~
 
"Fear
is the
thief
of
dreams"
 
~~~~~~~

"Fear 
is having faith 
in the power of the devil 
to hurt you"
~~~~~~~~~~~


"Fear
only becomes
powerful
when you
give it
power."
~~~~~~~~~~


REJOICE!!!

"There is no fear
in love.
Perfect love
casts out
fear."

I John 4:18

Monday, October 8, 2012

Conversatons In The Garden: Yoking Up Burdens



"Then Jesus said, 'Come unto me all of you who are weary
and carrying heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you. 
Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.'" (NLT)
"My yoke is easy and my burden is light." ( NIV)

Matthew 11:28-30


About two weeks before I started hearing the verses above over and over,  which now number 13 by the way, I started hearing from God about burdens while in the "garden".  For over a year now I have entered into the garden of my heart nearly every morning, where I visualize spending time with Jesus and my Heavenly Father.  During this particular visit, I noticed to the right of the garden gate a pile of rocks of different sizes. Behind the rocks I could see only the base of a cross, but I knew that this was where I was to lay down my burdens.  At the foot of the cross.  (Eventually this became part of my daily routine, to go into the garden, cast all my cares in this area and move forward to wait for Jesus.)

Immediately I noticed or rather felt a heaviness weighing me down.  I was carrying a backpack and as Jesus stood before me He said, "You cannot walk carrying that.  It is holding you back."  I took action to remove the backpack and it was so heavy it hit the ground with a thump.  I asked Jesus, "What is in that backpack....It is so heavy...?"  He did not really reply, but as I looked down at it I could "see" fears, unforgiveness, worries, traumatic memories, etc. spilling out of the top. 

The burdens
I
think
I
need
to
carry
 
The
burdens
I
choose
to
carry
 
Jesus then took my hand and we began walking.  We came to a big mountain.  It was not the large boulder representing the abuse like before.  No, this was a mountain.  On the mountain I could make out the words  F E A R.  I sat down at the base and studied it.  I knew I needed to find a way over the top.  Each attempt to climb it ended with me on the ground.  I would go up the face of the mountain a short way and then fall back down.  Climb again and fall back down! 

That is where I left the garden that day....with me sitting at the base with my knees bent, contemplating how to get past this mountain, realizing that the foundation of all my present struggles came from fear.
 
 Another day after the bombardment of Matt. 11:28- 30 began, I went back into the garden and ended up back at the mountain, so I asked Jesus how I could conquer the fear?  Immediately I saw boards with words written on them that were being placed on it.  The face of the mountain now appeared to be magnetic, and the boards could be placed on the front of it.  One said, PRAYER, another, PRAISE, and yet another PROMISES OF GOD which I knew I were to be spoken aloud.  Speaking God's Word has great power and never returns void.  Then I noticed that these boards could be the steps I needed to climb the mountain and I saw myself climbing the mountain.  When I would put my foot on one of the boards, the mountain would shrink a little......then the next step up and it shrank a little more.  Here was the key to conquering my fears and laying down my burdens.  Prayer-Praise-Promises of God-Speaking His Word.   Taking my focus off my problems and putting it on God!
 
I know I still have much to learn on this journey with "My yoke is easy, My burden is light", so daily I have settled in with a listening ear, alert mind, my Bible, and my pen.  When God sends you a message so strong that you are even HEARING the verse on a TV commercial while switching channels, I KNOW it is important.  S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y. 
 
God gave me these verses too, while meditating and asking for a word of knowledge.  I think He is telling me to pay attention, girl.  In obedience, I did and I am.
 
"My child, pay attention to what I say
Listen carefully to my words
Don't lose sight of them
Let them penetrate deeply into your heart
For they bring life to those who find them
And healing to their whole body."
Proverbs 4:20-23
 

Friday, October 5, 2012

Defining Humility

 
 
God is continuing to teach me concerning humility.........
 
Humility
is
not 
putting
yourself
down
 
 
Humility
is
being
honest
about
your
weaknesses
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Rick Warren
~~
 

 


Thursday, October 4, 2012

My Yoke Is Easy: Humility

Then Jesus said, 'Come unto me all of you who are weary
and carrying heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest. 
Take my yoke upon you. 
Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.'" (NLT)
"My yoke is easy and my burden is light." ( NIV)
Matthew 11:28-30
 

It was a month ago on Sunday, September 2nd that I received Matthew 11:28-30 the first four times.  First in my Daily Light devotional before even getting out of bed, then while reading two blogs that morning, and later while reading Rick Warren's blog post for that week. 
I did not want to hear it.

I did not want to hear the word
REST

I was worried about what it meant.  At first I took it literally, and oh how I wanted to hear something different.  My response was~~NO!  I have done nothing but rest for years of my life...viewing the world from my sofa sanctuary.  Having had a taste of life outside my home on a daily basis during the summer, I was NOT ready to go back to viewing the world from my blue recliner.  I began to desperately search for answers...Why?  What did I do wrong?  What can I do to change it?  God told me three times He wanted me well, didn't He?  Why couldn't I be healed overnight like Joel??  My emotions were all over the board, hopeful and determined one minute, discouraged and grieving the next. It was all about m.e.   I was certainly responding with fear instead of faith knowledge.  Those verses....?

I ignored them
for
another week



 Let me jump ahead to last night.  I was watching a Biblical teaching on healing and the speaker was talking about humility and pride.  As he went into his teaching, with scriptures to back what he was saying, I began to feel convicted by God as I identified myself with lack of humility in this area of healing~ there was pride. 

He shared that when we question God's timing, when we get upset that our expectations have not been met, when we feel we am in charge and need to make things happen, etc. that all comes from a place of pride.  Hmmmmmm

I wanted the healing of my body to be like Joel's....mostly overnight and quick!  I wanted to SEE the manifestation, be able to make leaps and bounds in my progress and have the life I wanted.  Whole and healthy.......N.O.W.   Things done according to MY understanding.   Pride.

Jesus is my Lord, not my understanding.  God is God.  We are not.  His ways are mysterious and yet they are good, right, and fair.  He loves us and wants the best for us. Letting go of our own understanding brings us to a place of being humble.  Being humble is a good place to be as it lets God work in our lives without resistance. 

So, 4 weeks after my ranting began it is ending.  I have seen it as it is, and am on my knees in repentance and humility, once again letting God work in my life and in my body in His way and His timing. I have learned so much in the past 3 weeks, and more surprises are in store if I go by what I learned last nigh

I had written a post on my reactiong to the relapse before I watched the teaching on humility, but God had other plans and I had to come back and rewrite it, sharing what he taught me just last night with His gentleness, love, and firmness. 

Humility?
or
Pride