Faith May Be Spelled R I S K

Yesterday I listened to stories shared by pastors who have been following God's lead......in obedience they have taken risks not knowing what the consequences would be.  One pastor shared that he and his wife were called to a Presbyterian church outside of Denver.  During his time there they started to see miracles happen in their congregation.  They were not praying for miracles, nor sure that they believed healing was still for today, but God came uninvited and began to heal people.  The pastor decided he better learn as much as he could about healing and miracles since they were seeing them manifest in the church. He studied and prayed and decided one Sunday that out of obedience to God he would speak about healing to his congregation and call the sickest person forward for prayer.  The woman came forward and he prayed for her.  She "fell out" in the Spirit and lay on the floor.  When she rose up from the floor, she was not healed.  No healing, but Holy Spirit touched her soul.  This event eventually led to over 2,000 of the 5,000 members of his Presbyterian church leaving.  The experience was too far out of their comfort zone and beliefs and they left because of it.  This pastor obeyed God and the results looked catastrophic, but as time passed, people came to the church, received salvation and became part of the congregation.  The risky move was costly, but God had a plan and the pastor felt he had to obey, no matter the cost.  Healings continue on in their church today.  Sometimes faith is spelled R I S K.

I also listened to a man talk about the results of his own obedience to God.  He and his wife ministered at a church in Aurora Illinois, one of the top ten most violent cities in America.  Gang murders were epidemic.  This pastor worked with the gangs and decided that for every one person murdered, they would go down to that area where it happened to pray and minister to the people until three came to know Christ.  They were letting Satan know that he did not reign over this city.  The police chief actually called the pastor to ask him what they were doing because crime was dropping in the areas where the members of the congregation were praying and speaking to those in the neighborhood.  Were they fearless in their quest?  No.  They were not fearless, but they chose to trust God and be obedient to what they believed God was calling them to do.  The risk they took brought people to Christ.

I cannot help but think of a young girl who at age 6-8 began to pray for God to "let me be a missionary to the babies in Africa".  When she was 13 she talked her dad into taking her to Uganda to spend time ministering there in an orphanage.  Through this deep desire to help the babies in Africa, her parents began a non-profit to work with orphans in Uganda. International Voice of the Orphans was established.  This young girl, now a young woman, moved to Uganda and began working with children with special needs and The Gem Foundation was established.  A home that cares for those with the most difficult medically fragile needs.  Now, just a few years later, Emma  and her now husband Josh are building a the Gem Village where medically trained staff and house parents will care for the least "desirable" little ones in Uganda.  They have stepped out in faith, trusting God and being obedient to His calling on Emma's life.  They have held babies as they took their last breath, they have suffered sickness and hardship themselves, and at this point are in need of prayer for their 9 week old son who is in ICU in a Ugandan hospital.  He is very ill with pneumonia and a bacterial infection and in need of healing.  They have opened their hearts to God's calling that began when Emma was a young child.   Faith is often spelled R I S K.

Not all of us are called to such risks, such boldness, but we are all called to be obedient to God's calling on our lives.  We are called to step out in faith and do what Jesus did.  We are all called to live our lives for Jesus and often that requires us to put aside fear or our own desires, for His.  It requires us to trust Him.   You may not be called to Africa, but you may be called to care for a neighbor, or lead a Bible study, or ask someone to join you on Sunday morning.  It is a matter of listening for the Holy Spirit's prompting and being obedient in faith.  Even if it is spelled R I S K.

We Are The Storm

To use an old quote........March is coming in like a lion this year....I hope that means it will leave like a lamb!  We started yesterday with rain, then sleet, corn snow, and then snow with high winds adding to the mix.  All the snow that left with our 50 degree weekend weather, has been replaced by a few inches of the white stuff today. Ugh!  It is really pretty to look at the trees and bushes dressed in winter white, but still.....ugh!  Let winter be gone..........come Spring, come!

We also have birthdays that come in March.  Our daughter, our daughter-in-law,  and myself.  My birthday will be coming in like a lion for me ~~ 70.  Seriously.  When did I get that old?  And how?  Only by the grace of God.  To have a child close to 50 and finding myself facing my seventh decade is a bit sobering.

Recently we heard a story about a man who came to visit a place he used to work.  He drove up and got out of his car, a little unsteady on his feet.  He walked around inside the place he had worked in the 50's and reminisced about his life then.  People gathered to hear his story.  Someone offered to walk him back to his car, thinking this 80 plus year old guy may like having someone to lean on.  He said he would like the company and then shared how old he was.  He was 102 years old!  Still on the move! (And still driving?)

When I turned 60 it was a big deal for us.  Truth be told, not many people believed I would live to be 60.  Lyme was sucking the life right out of me.  And then healing came.  Joel keeps telling me we are going to live another 30 years.  I am not so sure I want to, but don't tell him that!  He has great plans for a long life, and we should have plans and dreams.  That is what keeps us going.  How old was Moses when he did his best work for God?  Over 80 I believe.  Yeah.......

I remember when I lost a college friend.  I had roomed with her our first year, and lived with her a couple weeks while working in Minneapolis.  Shortly after that she was killed in a car accident.  The same thing happened with another woman we knew from Bible college.  And another friend died in her early 30's from severe diabetes.  Cancer claimed a few others over the years.  So, I guess what I am saying is how blessed I am to celebrate 70.  Nearly 3 decades of Lyme, and three different kinds of cancer have not ended my life.  I. am. still. here.  So are you!  Life is worth celebrating!  Every minute of it.  So on the first day of Spring I will be dancing a happy dance and rejoicing at 70!

Sometimes it is hard to hang on to that when storms come into our lives.  Just like the snow storm we had yesterday, the winds blow, visibility is low, and there is nothing we can do but stay safe in our homes.  A storm of sickness, disease, or tragedy can do the same.......and we find there is nothing we can do but stay safe and secure in our Father's arms.   I found a wonderful image yesterday that gave me pause and helped remind me that when the enemy comes against us, and he will.......we need to remind him that we not only can stand strong in the storm with Jesus but that we ARE the storm!

Seventy is going to be an awesome year!  I'm so grateful to be here to celebrate and live it.  And if Satan whispers lies to me,  I will remind him that this soon-to-be-70 year old woman is the storm. Celebrate your life today.  You may be walking in divine health, you may be battling disease, or like so many laid up with a nasty winter virus that won't let go.  Wherever you find yourself, celebrate!  Sometimes life comes like this March ~ as a storm....but then the Lamb comes and we remember with Jesus we are the storm!  So grateful. 

If God Said It!

If God said it, then that settles it.  Reading these words in the book, "Stronger Than The Battle" by Havilah Cunnington, affirmed what God had been patiently reminding me yet again about His promises for healing.

Let me explain here.  Most of you have followed my health journey with breast cancer.  The surgery, radiation, and recovery from the latter took a long time.  Our move to Arizona was put on hold to be re-evaluated.  The cataract surgeries added to the mix.  The next year were two surgeries for malignant melanoma followed a few months later by a diagnosis of Lichen Sclerosis.  Honestly, it brought me to my knees.  Then in December my vision suddenly became distorted, and a quickly scheduled trip to a retina specialist had me going through a battery of tests to get a diagnosis of wet Maculer Degeneration.  I had my first eye shot on December 29th.  This last medical earthquake literally put me under the covers in bed, weeping.  Just being honest here.

In that moment in time I came to the end of my ability to keep fighting.   Exhausted and weary I fell asleep on December 26th asking God to somehow let me know that what we believed about healing was His truth.  Did you really say "by His stripes you are healed?"  Did you really promise to "give me back my health and heal my wounds?  Havilah explained my doubts with God very well in her book when she said,

"The enemy will always try to change 

God's periods into question marks"

Havilah Cunnington

I fell asleep that night and did not have my usual chaotic, intense dreams that have plagued me for years.  I had a dream that I was in a house in Redding CA.  Brian Johnson, musician and son to Bethel's father of the house, Pastor Bill Johnson, was laying on a sofa sleeping.  I went over and put a blanket on him just as a mom would.  Then Bill Johnson came up beside me and said, "Let's go walk together."

We then went outside and walked the city streets for a very long time, as he chatted to me and I mostly listened.  I woke up at 4 am from this vivid dream and knew that God was speaking to me.  Pastor Bill Johnson believes "by His stripes we are healed." I thanked him for answering my prayers so quickly, and for reminding me that what we believe about healing is the truth found in God's Word.  My experiences do not change the truth that God wants us well.  

A week later while I was reading Havilah's book I read, "If God said it, that settles it."  She went on to write about how exhausted we become when we fight our battles from a defensive position.  In a defensive mode our goal to is protect ourselves.  It is a place where we fight is response to fear.  Well, I certainly have responded in fear to what has been going on in my body and our world.  Reacting is not wrong, it is the way we were created, but if we continually respond and live on high alert, it is damaging to our bodies.  She explained that it is so much better to respond to our struggles from what she describes as a discovery mode.  A discovery mode means that we resist the enemy  but we do so from a place of knowing that if God said it, that settles it.  We have an assurance that we have all we need inside of us ~ that same power that raised Jesus from the dead who gives us the victory.  We have already won our battles because if God said it, that settles it.  We do not respond from a place of fear, because we know we are called to a place of victory.

Throughout all the medical garbage I have gone through, the 27 years of Lyme, the three diagnoses with cancer, the eyes, the skin.  Through it all I have never walked alone.  God has always been there for me.  I get that.  In the past nearly 6 years Joel and I have learned there is so much more that God wants to give us.  So much more of Him, of His purpose, of His healing.  My dream about Bill Johnson, who believes as we believe, was a gift from God to affirm that no matter my experiences, this is the journey we are on.  This is the truth He wants us to share.  Healing is from God, and it is available to all who believe and use the authority given to us by Holy Spirit who lives in us.  God's Word speaks of healing, Jesus healed ALL who came to Him, and He told us to go out and "Heal the sick, cast our demons, cleanse the lepers and raise the dead."  (Matt. 10)

It is coming up on the 6th anniversary of Joel's miraculous 4 am healing, so my writings will focus on that amazing time in our lives.  My words I am focusing on this year are "so grateful", so with that in mind I am grateful today for the healing that has taken place in my body and Joel's.   I am so grateful for the Word that teaches us about healing and salvation. I am so grateful for the close relationship Papa God wants with us.   I am so grateful for the dream He gave me.  I am so grateful for Havilah Cunnington's words written in her book that have affirmed for me............"If God said it, that settles it!"  No matter my experiences, no matter the battles I face, we all face, God's Word and His promises hold the answers for us.  If God said it?  That settles it!

Use It For Something Good

This past week the Harvey Weinstein story has exploded onto the front page of every source of media.  As it should.  It has been a long time coming and it blows my mind that he got away with doing the same thing over and over again to young and often vulnerable women ~ for decades.  The number of women affected by his behavior seems to be endless.

The "Me Too" movement that came from this is the "rest of the story"!  The movement actually originated several years ago with a young woman named Tara Burke who was a survivor of abuse and wanted to call attention to the fact of how limited the resources were to heal in underprivileged communities.  Alyssa Milano re-ignited it when she used the "Me Too" hashtag to give women a way to speak out after the Weinstein story broke.  For those willing to share on public media that they too endured sexual harassment and/or assault, bless your courage.  For those who have silently proclaimed their own "me too", bless your courage, too.  Not everyone has to speak out.

If you read my blog often, you know I am part of the millions who have gone through sexual misconduct.  I was abused as a young child by two different males at different times.  I also was sexually harassed verbally and physically by a peer for throughout middle school, and at 16 WAS molested in an elevator at a Lutheran youth convention, no less.  Unfortunately, my story runs parallel to so many others.

For me going through Sozo inner healing ministry to have Holy Spirit led counseling has released me from the trauma and the fears that were the result of the abuse.  Together Jesus and I walked through facing the fears, forgiving those involved, and receiving the healing needed. It was not always easy, but it was powerful.  That is the "rest of my story".  Jesus wants us whole and healthy ~ body, soul and spirit.

I expect that the many many women speaking out are making an impact on our world.  It is certainly my prayer.  As they speak out against the predators they are taking back their power, and giving courage to future generations to stand against such behaviors. 

Once a woman reader of my blog asked me "where was God" when I was being abused..........I told that I believed Jesus was with me, tears flowing down His loving face mixing with my own.  I have asked Him to use those experiences, just like the diseases I have battled, for something good.  Work all things out for good, Papa.  It is never His plan for His children to suffer, but we have been given a free will and at times that free will listens to the dark side and bad things happen to innocent people.  In this "Me Too" time of speaking out, use it for something good, Papa God. Be a part of "the rest of their story".  Use it for something good!

He Is Risen!

"As air is in the atmosphere of the Earth, 

glory is in the atmosphere of Heaven.  

It lifts us above the earthly, 

into the very presence of God."

Ruth Heflin

Yesterday was a beautiful day here in our corner of the world.  The sun was shining, the skies were blue and it was warm enough to open doors and windows, as we welcomed in the fresh Spring air.  It was also Easter Sunday, for Christians who celebrate our risen Savior.  Oh Jesus......we love you!

Our youngest daughter and her son went with us to church where we worshiped with friends and raised our hands in praise and gratefulness for God's goodness.  Praising God.......Worshiping our Lord from a place of victory, embracing His presence ~His glory....rejoicing in His eternal gift to us.  Amazing grace.

Sarah and Jonas

Papa and Gr. Na

Yesterday's "He is Risen" service reminded me of a book I recently began reading.   A book by Ruth Heflin, titled "Glory:  Experiencing the Atmosphere of Heaven".  It came about because I have been seeking answers to define more clearly the glory of God.  How do we experience it?  Exactly what is it?  I was reading a book by one of my favorite authors and this woman's name came up.  I googled her, found out she had written several books on God's glory, and the rest is history.

Ruth Heflin was a woman evangelist who did a great deal of teaching on praise and worship.  She makes several great statements in her book.  She believes that the greatest instrument of praise we have is our voice.  That there is greater change that comes about through worship than through any other means.  When we praise God it becomes a time of worship and worship opens the doors to His powerful Presence.  His glory.

For each one of us it may be expressed a bit differently, but the Bible tells us consistently that we need to praise God.  Scriptures tell us that praise is a powerful tool of warfare, that praise opens the doors to God's Presence.  The Psalms are full of praise!  Praise puts our focus on God and off of ourselves.  It reminds us of His goodness.  Praise ~ Worship ~ His Glory....His Presence.

Not only on Easter, but every day of the year, let us give thanks and PRAISE our Lord Jesus!  Lets praise and worship Him, and as you do so, receive His Presence and glory in you....in the room...in the sanctuary.  His is Risen!!

"Don't Give Up"

A few months ago I bought an African Violet at our grocery store.  Our niece Becky had been talking about the violets she had from her Grandma....Joel's mom.....and it took me back to their home in the country and one large window where many, many violets grew in pots.  Mom T definitely had a green thumb.  Soon after I spotted a few plants while shopping, so I picked up one $3.00 African Violet with the hopes that I would be able to keep this one going.  In the past......not so easy.

It was blooming when I brought it home but it was not long after that it stopped.  I researched how to water and care for it, and was faithful and patient in my task.............for weeks......and weeks............and weeks.  Then right before Christmas I noticed flower buds forming. Soon after it began to bloom and has graced our home with it's lavender flowers.  It is beautiful, and especially so as winter surrounds us and covers the ground with that cold white stuff.

Patience.  It has been a struggle for me at times to remain patient in many areas of my life, but especially in regards to my body healing.  At times I have wavered in standing firm, but I do believe with all my heart that God wants me, wants us well.  I don't believe He makes us sick or wants us to stay sick.  He died on the cross for sin and sickness as we read in Isaiah 53.  Not everyone agrees with what we believe~ so be it~ but we have seen it come to life...healing.  In Joel, in me, in others as we prayed and spoke to the sicknesses in Jesus name.  It has to do with that same power that raised Christ from the dead living in us.

This past fall when I went through several weeks of heavy sighing and one of the things I struggled with was not giving up hope for this body to walk healthy.  The last year beat us up royally in many ways, and hope was being crushed.  God spoke to us gently and lovingly, and then came a day I was reminded of the many times God has spoken to me through others with the words, "Don't give up".  The first time was through a man who was praying for me at a meeting in MN in June 2013.  He said to me, "You have been so faithful and God sees that.  Don't give up!"  I tucked that away and it was 6 months later in a church in CT. that an evangelist pointed to me in an audience of over 300 and said, "Don't give up. You are faithful.  God sees that."  Don't give up.  I have read those words, and heard them echoed often in the past three plus years.

Well, the past 15 months kinda took the fight out of me.  I never expected radiation to take such a toll on my body.  The "gift" that keeps on giving. And I did not expect as we prayed and spoke to this particular mountain, for the battle to continue.   As I watched Joel continue to walk healthy and compared myself to him, I began to despair.  I began to lose hope.  Shame wanted in.

Did I say shame?  Yeah....shame that I was failing at this whole believe-in-healing thing.  Joel has been writing a book on his experience and 45,000 words into it he asked me to share my healing story for his book.  I said no.  I felt what I had to share would actually take away from what others would believe on healing.  I am the one who still struggles with pain and fatigue so I believed I was the one who was a bad example of the message Joel is wanting to share with others~~ God wants you well.

When I saw the violet was going to bloom again, I took hold of that for myself.  For weeks that violet looked like it was not going to bloom again.  It was not showing any progress.  It even looked unhealthy.  I talked to that plant, I cared for that little $3.00 plant, and I prayed over it.  Now the violet is blooming once again and beautiful to behold.  So, I am telling myself again, "don't give up."  God wants you well.....where I find myself is not about God.  It is not necessarily all about me.  It is this broken world and the enemy that uses sickness against us.  So, no matter what I see, what I feel, what comes against me, I will continue to trust God for His promise....I will do what I can....care for myself, nurture myself in body, soul, and mind, and give thanks for those things which are healed.  The list is long.  And I will continue to pray and speak to the mountains that are before me.  God wants me well.  He wants me to bloom healthy like that violet,  giving Him glory in the process.  It will begin with a chapter I write in Joel's book.

Anyone else struggling with something you have prayed and believed for?  Something God gave you a promise for?  Don't give up.  Stand firm on His promises.  Please God, not man with your words, your thoughts, your actions.  Read and soak in His Word.  God never goes back on His promises.  They will come to pass.  Don't give up.

Living Life Outloud

"Live your life outloud so it speaks for itself about who you are."

Michelle Obama

What does our life say about who we are?  What do our words and actions say about us?  I have a sweet friend, Linny, and the way she and her husband Dwight live their life speaks volumes about who they are.  Volumes.

Many but not all of the Saunders family

To some their life looks a little to the right of crazy.  In their late 50's and early 60's, they are still raising nine children at home.  Five others are out changing the world and blessing them with grandchildren besides.  They homeschool, manage a full house, care for medical needs, run a non-profit for the orphans (International Voice of the Orphan), author books, speak across the country, etc., and Dw works part time as a professor of law at a college in Phoenix.  Add to this their many yearly mission trips to Uganda and you can understand why I say that they live their life outloud, so it speaks, no yells Jesus is my King! You can understand why people think they are a little to the right of crazy, but what a wonderful place to be!

They would be the first to say they are not special....just being obedient to God and the passion He laid on their hearts for the orphans.  Just responding to the anointing that was put on them over 20 years ago......before Dwight was a pastor.....before Ruby came into their lives and changed their direction forever.  You can read about Ruby in Linny's book, "Rescuing Ruby".  They said yes to God early in life and just kept saying yes as they surrendered to God's plan and embraced it easily.  The joy for what they do oozes out their cells affecting anyone who stands close to them.

You may not desire or be called to raise children younger than your grandchildren.  You may not desire to homeschool for decades or embrace children that will be "lifers" in need of care.  You   may not be called to go to Uganda, but I can almost guarantee that somewhere deep inside your soul you do desire to live a laid down life for Jesus that is "just a little to the right of crazy".  I know we do.

Life is an adventure........it is hard work, it involves sacrifice and struggles, sure, but it is beautiful, and amazing, and even delightful because of Jesus.  Because we say "YES LORD" and desire to live our life outloud for Him.

Live your life outloud so that that it speaks for iteself volumes about who you are.  Linny and Dwight do so on a daily basis.  We don't need to fully understand it......but I challenge us to seek to live our life outloud for Christ so that it speaks volumes about who we are.  Whose we are.  Thank you Linny and Dw for being that for us.  For Jesus.  For the orphans.  Thank you for living life outloud!

Our Broken Country, And What Now?

I am going to be sixty-nine in a few months, one of the Baby Boomers of our country who has lived through several wars, the turbulent 60's, the assassination of a president and his brother, the murder of Martin Luther King Jr..  Hate crime.  I am not too old to feel the effects of Hitler and Nazi Germany, the Berlin wall, the Cold War, and countless other historic events that shook our world and changed us for better and for worse.

Joel and I have been through a lot of tough things together in our 48 1/2 years of marriage. The death of a son, of our moms, threats on Joel's life and on our family, hatred and racism thrown at us and our children because we are a family of many races.  We have battled Lyme Disease and I have battled cancer twice.  We have lived in 6 states and one third world country, had 18 major moves, 22 over all.  Like all of you, we have experienced life at it's best and at its worst.

Today we are mourning.  We are weary and grieving the division of America, our country.  We are grieving what we have seen and heard over the past 19 months of this debacle we have called a campaign for President.  We grieve over the hatred and discord.  The degrading of people because of their individual beliefs, "party" beliefs, color, ethnicity, and religion. The killing of innocent people, the ambushing of police. It has all sickened us.  This election process peeled back layers of skin to reveal the fear, anger, and hatred of "we the people".

This is not a political statement.  This is a statement of how divided and hate-filled our country has become again and how we have let fear of each other and of our differences come in the way of
"loving one another" as God has commanded us to do.  Not asked us, commanded us.

I have watched those on Facebook say horrible, hateful things "in the name of their God".  I have read awful things, like calling our current president a monkey, racial slurs, and more.  One man actually told his relative he was looking forward to the White House being white again.  This is to a woman who stood before him holding two of her bi-racial children on her hips.  I have observed online author Christie Purifoy speak from her heart about her Mexican American husband and seen people react in hateful ways.  I have read posts by people putting down anyone who does not think or vote like them.  Honestly, I have "unfollowed" many people on Facebook over the past few months because their words had such a negative affect on me.  "Lets love one another as long as they look, think, feel, live and vote like us.....and lets do it in the name of Jesus."

I think Joel and I are shocked at how angry and afraid people are on both sides of this red and blue divisonary war we have created in government and country.  We are shocked at the hateful things being said, and the hateful things being done.  Ugly has come out of us as a nation and it is scary.

We vote in all elections, but we do not voice our votes in public because we believe as a pastor and family it is not fair to use the pulpit to influence others.  We know  Republicans and Democrats alike who are believers, who love the Lord.  We believe we as citizens of the US have a right and duty to vote.  We, as Christians, love our Lord and our country.

We just don't know where to go with what this election process has uncovered not only in the candidates but in so many of the voters.  It may be something you expected..........I think we expected things had changed for the better in how we see each other, treat each other.  I guess we expected to see "the fruits of the Spirit" come out in people. This is a revelation we are stunned by and paying attention to.

What now?  Our country, our cities, our communities are in turmoil, so what now?  Joel and I feel so strongly that in this season of our lives we want to leave a legacy of not only faith in Jesus to our grands and great grands to come, but we want to leave a legacy of integrity, goodness, kindness, tolerance, acceptance, love and more love.  We want to speak life and not death into our small corner of the world.  We fail sometimes at this, but we get back up, repent, and try and try again to let Christ shine through us.

What now?  It begins with how we treat each other.  How we treat the person who shares our bed, our dining table, who lives across the street, who shops in our grocery store, who looks and believes different than us.  It begins when we get down on our knees, repent for our part in this mess we call living, and love on those easy to love and especially those hard to love.  It begins when we ask ourselves why we are afraid and angry and what would God want us to do about it?

We can change ourselves........others we can only love.  So we love the unlovable, we forgive the unforgivable, we reach out and do what God has commanded us to do............love our neighbors of which the whole world is...........we forgive, we repent, we pray.  Oh how we pray..........we ask God to heal us.  It begins with us.  We ask God to break our hearts for what breaks His.  We praise God for this country we live in, broken as it is.  We look around and see how unbelievably blessed we are to live in a democracy and not a dictatorship.  We give thanks..........we give thanks.......We open our gratitude journals and start remembering the thousands of gifts we have to be thankful for, starting with this country.  We pray for UNITY IN OUR DIVERSITY.  We pray.  We grieve with hope and we pray.

Living in Obedience

"I don't want to preach or teach anything 

that does not make someone want to crucify me".

Bill Johnson

My response to Bill's radical statement is, "No worry there, Bill."  Some call Bill Johnson a healer. Some call Bill Johnson an anti-Christ.  Some call him a cult leader.  Some call him pastor.  It never ceases to amaze me how some "crucify" what scares them.....or what they don't understand, or believe. Verbal crucifixion......not to take away from what our Savior went through.   Whatever this 5th generation pastor is labeled, I think it comes from the filters the "some" use to live life.  We all view life through filters.  Joel and I have listened to him for 4 years now, and have not found anything that would make us feel he is not Biblically sound and authentic.  We don't always agree with everything he preaches, but we have seen a humble man who love the Lord with all His heart and is obedient to God.

But some are quick to condemn.  To criticize.  To judge.  Some are especially eager to judge if someone is sharing a new way of thinking, outside of their areas of comfort.  Joel and I have worked hard to be discerning when hearing something out of our comfort zone.  We ask Holy Spirit for guidance and affirmation of what we are hearing. God is always teaching us more and we are eager to learn, but it is not always easy to keep criticism out of the equation.

Getting back to what Bill Johnson said about what he is called to...............revival and the healing movement.  They have a membership of around 8,000 in Bethel Church, Redding CA, but also have people come from around the country and the world on a weekly basis.  Several of their staff speak and teach around the world.  It was not always so.  When Bill took over the church 20 years ago, he felt God tell him this church was about revival, Holy Spirit, and healing.  Many people in the church disagreed with him.  One long time elder told him, "I know that what is happening here is from God, but I just can't handle it."  He left along with about 1,000 other church members.  Bill stood his ground and slowly they saw the church thrive, healing come, and the presence of God respond in powerful ways.  Bill, Kris Vallotton, and others still take a lot of flak, but they prayerfully continue forward in their desire to serve God and His people.  What they teach as a whole is Biblically sound, but it would be a full time job to answer the questions of critics, according to Bill.  He is obedient to God not man.   I have to respect that.  We have seen that on a smaller level in another church out in CT.  Pastor Teske was healed by God and told to bring healing and Holy Spirit into his Missouri Synod Lutheran Church. He often had healing gatherings where no one showed up, but he continued to be obedient to God and now has a thriving congregation which even holds its own healing conference.  We went there in 2013.  Bethel is next on our list.

I believe Joel is like Bill Johnson and Paul Teske.  I know, I know, I'm kind of prejudice....but that is okay.  He is obedient in telling his healing story.  He is obedient in sharing his strong convictions about Holy Spirit, and on healing and deliverance being connected to salvation.  He has unwavering belief even when he sees his wife challenged by sickness. He does not let what others think or say get in the way of speaking his beliefs and praying for others.

When he feels a nudging by Holy Spirit, he obeys.  Like the time we were in a Amish touristy type store in southern Iowa and as we were browsing the aisles, Joel turns to me and says, "I have to go back and pray for that woman."  "What woman" I asked?  "The woman back there having lunch", Joel responded.  In all my great confidence and faith I replied...."Okay, then, you go ahead and I will wait here." Yeah.....not my best moment.  After wrestling a few minutes with my own thoughts, I decided to go support Joel.  He was already on his way back to me....... He had asked her if he could pray, explaining that he noticed her head shaking and that he felt God wanted him to pray for her.  She cautiously said yes.  So he did.  A brief prayer at which time her head shaking went down to barely noticeable.  It did not totally go away, but he felt he had done what God had asked him to do and he moved on.  Just like that.    He has prayed with a stranger in the aisle of Menard's.  He has prayed in tongues over someone who wanted speaking in tongues defined and then to hear it.  He prayed and the man felt heat go into his body.  Thank you Jesus.  He is always courteous and respectful, asking permission first.  He often tells his healing story.  He also tells people they can speak to their own health problems in Jesus name and by His authority.  He has had people think that we believe our prayers are better than theirs.  Not a chance of us believing that, but he does want to share what we learned about healing and prayer.  He has not had out right criticism to his face, here in the Midwest things come across sideways....but it would not stop him if he did.

So I have been pondering what Bill said today.  Do I write and speak in a way that would make others want to "crucify" me?  I know when I write about healing or Holy Spirit manifesting, people get stirred up, but sometimes I am too careful in what I say.......food for thought.

As Christians we know ISIS would love to kill us all.  Does it stop us from proclaiming Christ? What about Kayla Mueller who was kidnapped, tortured, and killed by ISIS over in Syria.  The second in command of that terrorist group told other captives she had converted to Islam but she adamantly denied it.  She was made a sex slave to this leader, and eventually killed when Jordan bombed the place she was staying. She would not give up her beliefs even to stop the torture. She died faithful to God.

We do not have to worry about such things here, and we may never be challenged as Bill Johnson and Paul Teske are, but maybe, just maybe, we need to step out boldly and speak what we believe without worrying about being criticized or "crucified" by the "some". Maybe we need to be a voice.   Maybe we need to speak and live out our faith with courage and love, and most importantly out of obedience to Jesus, who is not only our Savior, but Lord over our lives.

Be A Voice, Not An Echo

Somewhere in the depths of my captive memories I held tight to the lie that my voice held no power.  I expect it started in early childhood, but knowing the root cause may remain a mystery and is really not important.  What I do know is that it took up residence and I spent too much of my life echoing the thoughts of others, believing my voice held no power.

A great example of this was displayed early in our marriage.  During the first ten years,  I would always start opinions or responses with..."Joel says..........."  If Joel said something, that was the way it was. He did not demand that at all, I just believed his words held more weight than mine.  Then Joel's cousin Luther helped me understand what I was doing.  While he was getting his doctorate in the Twin Cities he used to come and spend a great deal of time with me and the family. Joel was working long hours at a hospital, attending classes, and studying hard at night, so he did not have much free time.  Luther saw this pattern I had of quoting Joel.  He began to say to me, "I don't want to know what Joel thinks, I want to know what YOU think!"  Things began to change inside, and honestly, it took some adjusting for both Joel and myself.  After 10 years of marriage I began to voice my own thoughts and give them value.

Even though I have been writing for others for the past 16 years, finding my voice and believing in it has continued to be a slow journey.  This growth process really excelled into the fast lane when I started Sozo Ministry for inner healing the end of 2012.  In fact, Sozo has played a pivotal roll in my healing story.  During my first visit, before I had ever met the women in charge of my session, they had prayed about me and had some things to tell me.  The first thing they shared was that Holy Spirit had told them to tell me~~ "You. have. a. voice."  They told me that God listens to my voice, He wants to hear what I have to say, and that He wants me to use my voice.  They went on to share a couple of Bible verses, the same ones God had been highlighting to me all week.   I was stunned by their words, but quickly realized that God was at work here.  Part of the inner healing that took place was finding my voice.  I am so grateful that God has asked me to use my written words to speak about Him.  Grateful I am to be a voice for God and not an echo for someone else. We all are called to be a voice.

The original quote, "Be a voice, not an echo",  is by Albert Einstein.  Kris Vallotton expanded on it in his book, "Heavy Rain", with words I wanted to share here.

"I have been called to be a voice, not an echo."  
"I refuse to be reduced to a political affiliation, a denomination, a generation, 
a geographic location, my sexual orientation or my ordination.  
I will not settle for becoming a cheap imitation of another 
instead of an original of myself.  ......" 
"On the other hand, it is not my desire to become a maverick 
who exchanges the solid foundation of time-tested truth
 for the test tube of isolation.  

Therefore I will allow the Holy Spirit 
to lead me, guide me, and correct me.....
......to be a voice and not an echo"

Recently I watched Diane Sawyer's interview with Jaycee Duger on ABC.  Diane asked Jaycee's counselor if she thought she should tell her it was time to move on and stop talking about what happened to her.  (She has written a second book about her long horrific ordeal. ) The counselor made a profound statement. She told Diane that Jaycee had been held captive with no freedom to make her own choices for 18 years.  She would not begin to tell her what to do.  Jaycee would know when it was time to move on.  Jaycee's voice had been taken away, all her freedom had be taken away for so long, and it was important that no one tell her what to do or say now that she was free.  It was important that she be heard.  She now had a voice.

Finding our voice is a true gift.  We are all unique and so are our lives, so is our journey.  We are all called to be a voice, not an echo.  Along the way it is easy to settle, to keep silent, to be an echo, but God has created us to rise up and be His voice.  His voice crying out in the wilderness....His voice proclaiming the gospel...........His voice speaking love and truth.  His voice. Our voice.  We are to be a voice, not an echo!