Smack Dab In The Middle!

Is anyone else experiencing it?  There is a sense of foreboding, a fear or uneasiness about the unknown regarding the CoronoVirus.  It seems to permeate the air.  We may be experiencing a love/hate relationship with the media.......with the government........Conflicting statements, breaking news which is always breaking, and the daily change in numbers of cases and deaths.......where do we land in getting to the truth of it all when the truth is always changing?!  So unpredictable, so confusing, so dang scary.  Yeah......

As the pot called CoronoVirus is stirred, fear bubbles to the surface.  Granted, there may be a few of you who are not worried at all but as time passes we cannot help but be affected by what is happening in our own states, our country, our world.  Our hearts break for those who have lost loved ones, and our hearts might beat a bit faster for those we love who are in the middle of the "vulnerable" area for serious complications. And if we are one of the vulnerable?

Like all of you I have observed many different response to what is happening in our world.  Here we are with few options before us.  When I was diagnosed with advanced cancer in October 2018, we had options, the doctors we trusted had plans in place to fight a known disease  ~ Cancer.  Although we were told that there were no guarantees for a cancer free future, we had a plan that gave us some sense of control and actions to take.  I know many of you are nodding your heads in agreement, having gone through your own medical battles.  A plan and actions to take removes that helpless feeling and speaks of a future.

This time it is different.  It is a novel virus.  New.  It is a virus so antibiotics won't help.  It spreads quickly and according the experts it is more deadly for those ages 60-65 and older and those with underlying conditions such as Lupus, cancer, asthma, lung disease, heart disease, etc. etc. etc. We all want answers, action plans, and assurance that all will be well.  We want to be safe.

So, where do we turn when life is a roller coaster ride, whether it is due to the what ifs with the CoronoVirus, a diagnosis of cancer, or our finances bottoming out.  Do we minimize what we are facing?  Do we have a fatalistic outlook?  Whatever....it is what it is?  Do we just hang on tight with our fears and hope for the best?  Or do we take a deep breath, and remember God is with us.  Do we turn to the Word and find those verses that bring us God's truth and a sense of peace?

When I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease after 2 decades of sickness, I looked up everything I could on this debilitating disease.  I spent hours and hours becoming "informed" and ended up focused on the disease more than on my Healer.  I felt I had some control when I had knowledge.  Having knowledge is important, but for what reasons?  I began this CoronoVirus journey wanted to be fully informed and when information changed as data was gathered, I watched more, read more, picking certain experts to listen for.  It gave me some sense of control in a world that does not feel safe, but it was also exhausting and did not reduce my stress.  Knowledge is good, but only if we balance it with knowing Who we trust.   We can't always control our outcomes, so maybe we need to surrender our fears and need for control to Jesus.  God with us. 

The video seems to focus on one situation

but the words are for all of us!

It is important to keep our faith smack dab in the middle of this mess.  Prayer is not only smack dab in the middle of it all, but it is still our first line of defense for all challenges that get thrown at us.  As the Breaking New! continues to break, as the CoronoVirus currently continues to raise its ugly head, and as we filter out fears for facts let us remember to respond with faith.  The faith that Jesus gives us that lies smack dab in the middle!

Angel Food Cake In The WIlderness

I have been reading Dr. Brian and Candace Simmons book, "In The Wilderness:  Where Miracles Are Born".  In one chapter they talked about the Israelites wandering in the desert and how God provided daily manna for them.  They never went without food....bread of a sort.  God provided them with the bread for life.

Simmons tells us the manna is described in different ways in scripture.  When the Israelites asked Moses what it was, he told them it was bread from Heaven.  A mystery of sorts as the people asked...."What is it?"  In Nehemiah it is called "God's manna", and in Psalm 105 it is called "Heaven's bread".  In Psalm 78 it is described as "angels food"!  I love the idea of it being angels food.  The food of angels fell from the sky on a daily basis.  Pastor Simmons described it as angel food cake from Heaven!

We, as Christians feed upon the bread of life....Jesus IS the bread of life, provided for us by our Father.  Jesus as our Manna.  We cannot help but see the parallels of the Wilderness story in Exodus and our own wilderness stories.  Our need for Jesus was provided for us.........even or especially in the wilderness. 

We all go through seasons of wilderness, keeping us on our knees before God.  We live, trusting He will provide...........whether we call it "angel food cake" from Heaven or the "Bread of Life".  At times the wilderness looks endless, challenging, and yes, even hopeless, but God is always watching over us.  He provides......love, healing, hope, encouragement and the prayers of others, His Word, and Wisdom.  He provides the Bread of Life, and even angel food when needed.  Sometimes we may question, "What is it" just as the Israelites did, but we learn to step out in faith trusting His provision.  And in doing so, it may turn out to be angel food cake!

Love Notes From God

She entered my room at 5:30am, greeting us quietly as we blinked and tried to adjust to the light.  Joel had slept in the recliner close to my hospital bed where I rested in between compressions on my legs and the smiling faces of nurses doing their jobs throughout the night.  The beautiful young woman who came in was there to draw blood.  We chatted a bit, learning she had experienced a health scare herself recently....and that she was adopted from Guatemala.....we talked about all of our kids.......and as she left the room with my blood she said, "Ill be praying for you."

A love note from God.

Early the morning before a nurse had prepared me for surgery.  The IV line in, clothes exchanged for a gown, info gathered.  We chatted some about the usual topics and chatted about her granddaughter who was dealing with childhood arthritis.  As I left for the OR later she patted my arm and said, "God bless you." 

Another love note from God.

As I entered the OR I was introduced to two nurses in the room.  One said to me, I did not expect to see you here, it is usually in our neighborhood we see each other.  Turns out the nurse anethesist was our neighbor at the end of our cul-de-sac.  Tuesday I received a card from her and a wish for my healing.

A love note from God.

The morning after surgery the Breast Cancer Nurse advocate came in and talked to us.  She provided us with a sweet Teddy Bear and heart shaped pillow she gives all women who are battling breast cancer.  She had some good advice for how to care for the arm they took so many nodes from......and how to care for the chest incision.

A love note from God.

When we were in the hospital a woman we knew from the church Joel is Interim at came in and talked to us about having home health care, paid for by Medicare.  We said no at first, as we felt we could take care of ourselves.........but as she talked I felt Holy Spirit nudge me to say yes.  So I did.  We have had nurses coming 3 times a week to check my vitals, change my dressings, and answer our questions.  Saying yes to their support was the best thing we could have done with this surgery.

A love note from God.

Yesterday I was laying on the sofa and someone knocked on the door.  Joel was gone so I slowly got up and made my way to the door.  The woman immediately asked me if I was ok so I told her I had had surgery last week.....a double mastectomy.  She said, "I had one two years ago.  You need to rest a lot for sure."  As we visited I learned she is a neighbor a couple blocks from us, so I said, "My name is Renee....and she replied, My name is N___"  As she left she turned and said, "I will pray for you Renee."  No co-incidence that this woman who had the same surgery as me two years ago came to my door to deliver an invitation.  I did not know her, but she offered to pray for me.  Only God.

His love notes continue....

Throughout this surgery and recovery God has been showing up in His people.  It has been especially comforting to have all these love notes from GOD  as we learned that 5 of 26 lymph nodes were positive for cancer  The "good news" within the bad is that the cancer was contained in the nodes and had not broken out of the nodes.  As I recover from surgery and continue with the three drains another week, we wait to hear from the Oncologist and Oncology Radiologist about what is ahead. We were hoping the battle was over, but it is not.   So many people have been praying and we are so grateful for their/your support.  And as we wait, rest, pray, and trust without understanding, we look for those special notes from God that remind us of His love.

Follow The Yellow Brick Road....

Yesterday we traveled northeast to see an endocrinologist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester Mn.  My doctor here wanted me to see someone who understood Vit D toxicity better.  I expect if anyone knows how to deal in rare problems, it would be a place like Mayo.

I received a phone call from Mayo on Sunday morning ~ Mother's Day ~ to set up an appointment for me and they wanted me in right away so, after I protested that they were calling on a Sunday morning???  We scheduled for this week.  An hour before my appointment we arrived at the large building with enough people to fill a small town, and promptly ran into our daughter's sister-in-law who was working there that day!  Small world.  As we headed to the 3rd floor, and Desk 3D as instructed, they could not find me in the system.  Oh boy.  Nope.  Nada.  I was not listed as a patient and it turns out I was not even sent to the right location.  After a couple of phone calls they found out the doctor I was scheduled to see had just gone over to St. Mary's Hospital a couple of miles away so she would meet with me there.... We had already spent 20 minutes trying to find a parking space in a nearby ramp, so we went to get on a shuttle. After getting to St. Mary's we walked.....and walked.....and walked.....arriving at the right desk where we were escorted in to a hospital type doctor's office where we waited to see the endocrinologist.

Not the relaxing start I had envisioned.  The doctor was good and very informative.  It seems that they don't usually see patients with this level of Vit D unless they have been hospitalized for symptoms first.  My calcium levels are still in the normal range which is rare for the amount of Vit D in my body and blood.  She thinks the large quantity of water I drink every day along with salt water a few times a week have washed the calcium out of my blood and kept it from damaging my liver, kidneys or heart.  I am now on a low calcium diet , drinking water and salt water, and waiting for the D to go down.  According to her  it will take months.  But God.......

I am excited to share how God has been moving in the midst of this journey.

We like to talk with Holy Spirit and before we even knew about the Vit D we were asking Holy just what was needed for my body since the "flu" just was not going away.  Strange as it sounds, I was told to drink salt water.  Now in the past I have had low sodium which would cause a funky feeling and my Lyme doctor at the time had me drink salt water.  I don't eat processed food nor salt my food much so don't often get enough sodium.  We listened to God's guidance and I have been drinking salt water once a day or every other day and unbeknownst to us, it was getting rid of the calcium in my blood!  Only God.    When I look back on how the doctor decided to ck for LOW Vit D and did a full blood panel coming up with the toxicity and one "slightly off" liver test?  An answer to our prayer that if there was something going on, the doctor would find it. And helping rid my body of calcium building up in my blood?  I did not even know I had that, but God did and told me to drink salt water.

The symptoms of fatigue and weakness have continued to hang around, but this past Tuesday Joel felt the need to pray for a "spirit of weakness" to get off my body..........and I began to improve.  Tuesday night people in our group lay hands on me and a woman prayed over me, declaring somethings was going to change tomorrow. and I would know it.....and it did and I did.  For the first time in 3 months I felt close to normal.  Only God.

I just love how God intervenes in the lives of His children.  We cry for help and He answers.  I am still on the yellow brick road to recovery, but God has led the way, breaking off anything in the spirit realm, guiding the doctors, and answering our prayers.  He truly desires to help us.  We just need to keep following the yellow brick road.  It will lead us Home.

Not So Much...........

Limb on our Roof

We woke up around midnight Sunday night to thunder, lightening, and some very strong winds.  The wind was "loud", making sounds like I have never heard before.  When I got out of bed and looked out the window I could see the trees bending to the ground and turning from side to side.  Just then something hit the roof hard, waking Joel and causing me to jump and duck.  In agreement we headed downstairs to a safer level.  The storm passed quickly, and Joel went out in the dark to assess the damage, commenting that the branch was not as big as he thought it would be considering the noise it made.  We decided it could all wait until morning and headed back to bed.

Split tree on walking path

In the daylight we woke to a mess of small branches and twigs covering the yard, driveway, and street.  Several neighbors had branches down in their yards and one had a large part of the tree that split down the side.  On our walking path I saw a thick limb that had split off......at least 25-30 feet long.  Just east of us a mile or so another association was hit hard.  Trees across the road, electrical lines down and lots of green debris, everywhere.  The newscaster said there were 75 mph straight line winds.  They did not look or act like straight line winds here in our back yard, but they sure were strong........and loud!  It took Joel 8 hours to pick up all the branches, leaves, and debris.

neighbor's tree

In the dead of night, it all sounded so scary, but the next morning when we opened doors and stepped out into the neighborhood along with others, we realized things could have been so much worse.  The branch hitting our roof sounded like a cannon going off.  We thought maybe a tree came down, but not so.  In the daylight hours we could see it was not as bad as it sounded and our house and roof were intact.

Today Joel was over to the neighbor's helping her cut up a big limb that split off her tree.  She had already removed all the branches off so Joel just took a chain saw to it.  She thanked him over and over, but his sincere response was "Hey, I was able to use my tools!"  Did I mention that she is 87 and still mows, mulches, landscapes, and tends her garden?  She can add cutting and carrying limbs to her resume now too.  Yeah.....J. is a powerhouse who loves to be outside and working!  At 87.  Wowza.

This storm reminded me of the storms that come suddenly in life.  We've had a few ~ you too?  One minute all is good and then suddenly it is not.  And sometimes the challenges we face sound sooooo darn loud!  They scream at us,  and look so powerful.  They shake us in the valley of darkness, but when God's light shines on them, we are able to see them differently. Do we tell God how big our problems are or do we tell our problems how big God is!  What looks insurmountable, is diminished when Jesus walks with us. What looks and sounds ginormous .....not so much in the Presence of Jesus.  Not so much.

When God Called Us To Go West!

In 1976 Joel left the Air Force and began attending Luther Seminary in St. Paul MN.  We moved with our 4 kids and 2 cats near Como Park not too far from the seminary, living in a big, old house that we bought contract-for-deed.  After two years of study, Joel would be sent on an Internship, where he would be given a church to work in for his third year.  The pastor there would be his supervisor and mentor. After Internship he would return for his final year at the seminary.

 At that time there were not many second career seminary students, so there were only 3 locations available to a family of six for Internship.  One was a very small town up in Northern Minnesota, another was in my home town in southern MN and the third was located in Malta Montana.  We ruled out my hometown right away, as everything would be too easy....too familiar with family there.  The northern MN Internship did not feel right for us either, so we chose the Montana Internship, heading out West for a new adventure.  It was the best thing we ever did, but it almost did not happen.

Joel was dragging his feet about leaving the financial security of the home we owned.  I had no ties to the house that harbored a professionally estimated 250 bats in the attic.  I also strongly believed that if we were going to learn all we could from the Internship available to us, we needed to take this Internship and head West.
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 Joel had a list of logical reasons why we should stay, worrying about where we would live when we came back for his final year.  It took quite a bit of persuading by his cousin Luther and myself to get him looking at things differently.  It was when I challenged him about his reasons for staying put, that his fear lost the battle.  I reminded him of his calling, and that if he really wanted to be a minister and go to new places, he needed to trust God and GO.  I believed God was guiding this decision and selling our house and moving West was the right thing to do.  God moved in his heart too, he agreed, said yes to the Internship, and we sold our house, and headed West.

So that summer of 1978 found us driving through Minnesota and North Dakota and into the middle of Montana for one of the greatest adventures of our lives.  Because we did not let fear or worry get in the way,  and because we said YES to God's plan for our family, our lives were richly blessed with all He had in store for us.

Malta was a small town of about 2,000 in northwest central MT.  The Malta Lutheran Parish consisted of 4 churches in a 150 mile radius, with services also being conducted at a hot springs and at the small mining town of Zortman up in the Little Rockies.  Joel was assigned the two churches farthest north in Whitewater and Loring MT.  He/we would drive up north 75 miles into beautiful scenery with eagles and deer in abundance.  Often we would never see another car.  Whitewater was off the beaten track on gravel roads and people came from over 50 miles away to worship.  A skunk lived under the church, so at times the aroma was a bit overwhelming, and often church started "when people got there".  Loring was located right off a paved highway, a bit bigger, with a cafe and bar in town!  Once a month he served the churches of Malta and Dodsen.   He had a great mentor in Pastor Merv Olson who became, along with his family, long time friends.

We moved into what we affectionately called "The Internage" which was next door to the Parsonage.  It was an older house they had moved in from a ranch, and it had an add on kitchen.  When you walked from the dining room to the kitchen you went down about a foot on a slant.  There were not enough bedrooms so our oldest, Bethany, slept in the large hallway on a twin bed.  She liked that since she could read by the downstairs light at night when she was supposed to be sleeping.  There was a makeshift shower in the basement and a lime green claw foot tub in the upstairs bathroom.  A porch made for a nice place to sit on summer days when mosquitoes were in abundance outdoors. There was always a warm feeling in that house that held so many memories of the families that had lived there.

Joel was involved in every aspect of ministry; preaching, teaching, counseling, and more.  The only part of ministry Joel did not have any prior experience in was officiating at funerals, but early that fall tragedy struck with 8 funerals taking place in less than 3 weeks.  Three were murder victims from the northern churches Joel served.

Three men from California were trying to escape the crimes they committed there, and while driving through Loring to the Canadian border they went into the bar where they raped and murdered a woman, then killed her husband and another man who was in there at the time.  It was devastating to the town, and when they were caught the men were kept under 24/7 armed guards in Malta by many officers because there was some fear of vigilante justice.

One of the first weekends we were there the fair and rodeo was going on, so Joel went with Pastor Merv to help at their Sunday "church".  It was a bit chaotic with bull riding going on nearby ~ one rider being knocked unconscious, a cat chasing a rabbit, a small plain flying overhead,  and the train making itself known as it traveled through.  Joel was definitely not in the Midwest anymore!  He  rode horseback with a wagon train and preached at their Sunday service where a drunk cowboy came through on his horse.  He also participated in a round up while we were there, and as a family we helped new friends brand cattle.

Joel in the red hat

Our favorite Christmas service has been written about before...........Christmas Eve at Zortman in the Little Rockies where we climbed a hilly path up to the church.  A pot bellied stove was our only heat source on a bitterly cold night as we sang familiar hymns with lantern light reflecting off the walls.  Beautiful memory.

We learned so much there about serving a congregation.  We were the 19th Intern the Parish had welcomed into their community, they knew how to take care of their Interns.   It was one of the best experiences of our entire lives, and we are so grateful that God led us to this small town in Montana.  It is a reminder that when we listen to His voice, and heed His calling, amazing things happen!

And Joel's concern about a place for us to live during his final year?  We received a phone call a couple of months before going back to the seminary from a student who was going on his Internship and he wanted to know if we wanted to rent his house while he was gone.  He told us he would share the profits when they sold their home, for the year we were there.  Only God!

Gelatos, Pigment Pens, and the Resurrection Story

Proverbs 31

About a year ago a younger woman at church shared with me the art work she was painting in her Bible.  I was amazed at the beauty of it, but never thought it was something I could do.  I did not even know that it had a name......"Bible Journaling", nor did I imagine I would find it one of the greatest ways to meditate on the Word. Recently a friend mentioned that she was taking a class in Bible journaling, which sent me researching Google, Pinterest, and more.  The result of that first google search has turned into something delightful for me. The next day I began to freehand drawings in one of my older Bibles.  Taking a verse or verses from the Bible, then creating art on the pages of the Bible, has opened a door for me to a new kind of meditation on God's Word.  It feels like a form of worship.  All of our daily living is a kind of worship, as we work, play, read, connect.  It is all a form of worship as we connect with our Creator.  Today I am grateful for Bible Journaling, not doing this from a place of performance, or perfection ( as you can see!), but from communion with God and reflecting on His Word.

You are a lamp unto my feet

and a light unto my path....

Lately I have received 9 "open door" references, and I have been looking for those doors to open in areas I had already preconceived in my brain.  I quickly realized Bible Journaling is an open door from God that has totally surprised me.  I love it!  It brings me closer to my Lord, helps me soak in the Word, and gives me an expression of worship.  Thank you God!

On a side note, after visiting a few blogs I have come to realize that there are a few people out there who would never write or draw in their Bibles.  Others write all over their Bibles ......and now they draw what they see when reading God's Word.  I am in that latter category and so thankful for this way of visualizing God's Words.

Anyone can do this!  I am not an "artist" but I can visualize what God shows me.  I do need "help" in getting it drawn out so I have used Pinterest and other places to give me something to look at when I draw....I pray and think about what the verse means to me, to others......and then I pick up a pencil to pdraw....then use gelatos (not ice cream) and watercolor and colored pencils, pigment pens, etc.  Oh what fun!

So back to the open doors.....I wonder how many times God has sent me a message and because of my preconceived idea of what that should look like, I miss what He is showing me....giving me.....

My chains are gone....

I've been set free......

As I drew what I saw about Galatians 5:1 above, I was drawn back to Holy Week.  A week of great importance in the life of a Christian.  The last days before Jesus was crucified.  As we walk through this week let us sing with praise....let us speak with love.....let us worship in all we do.........focusing on the Resurrection Story........My chains are gone!

Welcome Home!

I was reading a post written by my favorite columnist, Sharon Randall, and she asked questions that she asks of many she meets, "Where are you from?"....and...."How do you define home?  It set me thinking.  It has been on my mind in this senior season of our lives, a time of wanting roots while hungering for the more.  Desiring something new while making the effort to embrace what is.  Where is home?  What is home?  Randall defines home as where her people and land co-exist.....so I pondered.

Joel grew up on the family farm, 1/8 mile from their country church.  Surrounding him were family and friends as far as the eye could see.  Yet at his mother's suggestion he left home at age 20 and headed down to The Lutheran Bible Institute smack in the middle of a big city.  We met there, graduated, married and headed out and away from anything or anyone we knew.

I moved a lot as a child, from house to house, town to town, state to state.  When I was three I called the car "home".  I expect it was a familiar place for me.  From age 12-18 I lived in a small three bedroom 1950's house with my newly defined family.  I moved in with my older sister and her husband in 6th grade and her children became my siblings while my two sisters remained my sisters. Complicated?  Not for me.  Even though I left home at 18 and have not lived there is 51 years, I can visualize every room, every closet, every corner of that house where I felt safe, loved, and happy. More than a few years ago now, that house was demolished along with many others that stood in a flood zone.  It rests in my memories.

After Joel and I married the Air Force sent us around the country and across the world.  When Joel became an ordained minister we continued to travel to new houses, new churches, new towns.  We enjoyed friends and congregations very much, but always put down shallow roots because we knew what the future held ~ another move.

Our children endured many moves with their parents.  I am not sure where our children call home, since none of them live where we reside.    Is it when we gather as a family once a year, or is is where they live and where each of them has put down roots, bypassing childhood visions of "home", for their people and land where roots run deep?   It makes sense.   Home is where the heart is............

And where does that put us?  We are coming up this month on the 21st year we have lived in this town. Joel has preached in 24 of the churches in the synod.  We have lived in three houses here, the last one for nearly 13 years.  Yet, our roots are still not very deep.  If a stranger asks us where we are from, my reply is "We are from Minnesota, but we live in Iowa for now."  No offense to those we know well here, but we have never felt this was a permanent place for us.

If you read my writings here, you know that this topic of where to call home, defining home, and seeking roots has pulled and tugged on us for awhile now.  Sharon Randall's questions stirred the waters, although to be honest our friends who, too soon for us, will venture out into a new definition of home, have inadvertently got us thinking again.  It does not take much.

So how do we define home?  Familiar land take us back to our hometowns, but we have been gone for over 50 years, only visiting briefly at times.  Mostly for us, home is defined with the people we love and care about.  Remember the siblings that came into my life at age 12?   "Home" has come with texting.  Crazy?  Maybe not so much.  When my older sister broke her back she was isolated often at home.  We all began texting to get information, but it continued on long after with a way to connect. We share pics, talk politics (we all lean one way), pass on information, and just chat.  A way to connect that has given me a feeling of "going home".   Roots run deep with them and my sisters who helped raise me.  Doubly blessed.

Joel and I talked yesterday about Randall's question, "Where do you call home?"  We both feel that home is where we both are.  Together.  There are always family roots that draw us in, on the farm, and in houses that reside now only in our memories.  There is always our family that brings a definition of who we are, and yet with circumstances and miles between,  in this season of our lives we are most drawn to each other.

I visited with the massage therapist today about her story.  I asked here if she has always lived here and she told me yes.  She even bought the house she grew up in and has lived there nearly 65 years.  I tried to fathom that.  I cannot, and honestly, it would not be on my bucket list.  Even thought it is not all roses by any means, I prefer a life of new adventures.  I guess we are all unique in the way we do life and where we live, but are we unique in how we define home?   I think my favorite columnist has it right.....home is mostly about the people we love and for some the land beneath our feet.

Where are you from?  How do you define "home"?  For some it may be an easy answer....for others complicated.  Whether you are are well rooted, or feel the pull and tug of desiring more,  we know without doubt our final home will be a place of continual joy, rest, glory, and Presence.  And when we arrive we will hear our Papa God say....."welcome home!"

Scrabble: A Saving Grace

The Scrabble game never left our dining room table the winter of 2017.   It was not that other things did not get accomplished, but Scrabble was the saving grace we turned to as winter blanketed not only our neighborhood, but our souls.  Scrabble was provided by our Papa God out of love,  to distract and even teach us while we spent 1-3 hours a day focused on creating words from little wood tiles.

With the first snow storm we took out the game and began to play.  Our skills were a bit rusty, but over time we improved at making words and adding up points.  Then sickness came to visit, what we called The Coughing Crud....first I went down and ten days later when I was coming back from the dead Joel got hit hard.  Unusual for my "walking in health" hubby.  We were napping, coughing, groaning, and eating a lot of chicken soup.  A. lot.  That sickness from hell forced us to cancel a trip to our oldest and her family's.  Again.  And to add to it all, I broke my little toe. Really??  Then there was the world, which seemed to be in chaos and still is, our country at the center of it all.  We slowly sank into a funk, missing Arizona weather, weary of politics, conflict, and coughing.  Enough said.

The corner of our dining table became a place of retreat.  A place we gathered when the world made us weary.  It was where, I believe, God called us to play Scrabble........letting us know He had other things, important things, covered.  It became almost sacred to us and a daily ritual we are still practicing right along side our devotions, prayers and praise, and writing.

It is not the first time God has brought our focus onto the simplest of things.  In the early 80's when Joel's life was threatened, involving police, courtrooms, and several years of trusting God with the outcome, a bright orange half-grown kitten showed up in our yard one day and decided to stay. We named him Garfield and he provided great comic relief with his antics.  Soon after we brought home a pup named Jake who gave us even more enjoyment during a tough season for our family.
Looking into your own mirror reflections, I imagine you, too, can find times when God intervened with distractions of His own making.

So, during this time, Scrabble gave us a place to focus as we put effort into winning at a board game, even when it did not feel like we were winning at life. Scrabble also opened our eyes to the lens we were seeing through, the emotions that rose to the surface. The game began to reveal how we were responding to this season of our lives, and it came forth in how we played.  God was using Scrabble to peel back the layers and uncover a few things we needed to adjust.  Like our attitudes.  

Scrabble has become so much a part of our routine, that when we were taking care of our three treasures recently we purchased them the game, so we could all play together. Home now, we again returned to the ritual, not yet ready to let go of the board and tiles.  Eager for Spring, but holding on to winter's distraction.  Scrabble.

Isn't it funny how God can use something as simple as a game of Scrabble to bring grace into our lives.  God used a board game, made sacred by Him, to care for us in a season when winter blanketed the ground and our souls.  He loves us so much and cares deeply about the details of our lives, He weaves His goodness into all we do...including a game or two....or twenty...of Scrabble.  

It Could Be Worse

With all the latest technology at our beck and call, we had known about the coming ice storm practically before it formed.  For days we were told to prepare for a major ice, sleet, rain, and snow event. We watched it raise havoc across the plains with damage to trees, property, and human life.

We did what we could to get ready......enough water~ ck.  candles~ ck.  bananas~ck.  (ok, that may sound weird but we get a bit crabby when we are out of bananas!) We planned on not leaving the house on Monday and settled in for the wait.

 For us the freezing rain started after midnight and continued.....and continued....until late Monday night.  It could be worse.  The roads are thick with ice and standing water in places too.  All schools cancelled.  No travel unless necessary.  Still, it could be worse.  We did not lose power in town, there was little wind and under an 1/8 inch of ice I think, so the branches are still all attached to the trees!

It could have been worse.  I think this is a phrase that somehow brings comfort to us..........whether in a ice storm or a storm of circumstances.  Things could be worse.  And I just need to say it.........things could be better too. And how about the phrase, "It is what it is".  I find those five words to be depressing for me.  When hit hard with a storm in life I don't want to hear or find myself saying, "It is what it is."  Back to the storms..............

Just how do we prepare for the storms in life?  The kind that make us weak in the knees.  Unfortunately, we often do not have prior warning of what is coming.  Something blindsides us.  Smack.  So it might just be a good idea to always be prepared for the storms.  Not in a fatalistic way, nor expecting the worst....but just knowing that the enemy would like nothing better than to hit us hard and lay us flat.  He works at it, believe you me.

So we prepare ahead of time.  We put on the full armor of God.

1.  Helmet of Salvation ~ ck.  We take care of that need for salvation.  Eternal life is ours!
2.  Breastplate of Righteousness~ ck.  We know we are sons and daughters of the KING!
3.  Belt of Truth ~ ck.  We wear it to hold everything up.  The Truth....His Truth!
4.  Shoes of Peace, Good news~ ck.  Where does our peace come from?  From Jesus and His Word.
5.  Shield of Faith ~ ck.  Keep it with you at all times....stopping the fiery arrows of the devil.
6.  Sword of the Spirit ~ ck.  His Word is powerful....Use it like a weapon!
7.  Prayer ~ ck.  Pray without ceasing.......
8.  Adding to the list..........Rest.~ ck.  Stay calm and let Him fight for us!!

These weapons prevent, prepare, protect.

And lets not forget the name of Jesus........the blood of Jesus........Scriptures declared.......and Praise!  All of this helps us be ready for the storms that come............or try to come against us.  God has not left us vulnerable.  No, He has not.  He has given us ways to prepare and stand firm and He fights for us. It could be worse.........and with the list above it will be a whole lot better!!!

Pathways Defined, Insights Revealed

Joel and I have been reading a book called Sacred Pathways by Gary Thomas.  It is an in depth look at defining our spiritual temperaments, which in turn helps us understand what feeds our souls in worship and in our relationship with God.  There are nine different temperaments Thomas presents to his readers and through studying and answering some basic questions you can see what defines you. It has been very helpful for us!

We have definitely learned more about ourselves and what we are drawn to in worship. We have a strong foundation of faith in the Lutheran Church.  Baptized, confirmed, married, all within it's doors. I graduated from a Lutheran Bible College where I met Joel.  My great grandparents gave the land for their Lutheran church.  Joel's did the same!  We raised our children in the Lutheran tradition, with Joel being an ordained pastor for the past 36 1/2 years.

Still, back in 1972 we would find ourselves at the Lutheran church on Sunday morning and an Assembly of God Tabernacle on Sunday night.  They were certainly different forms of worship, and I felt completely at home with both.  The Philippines found us worshiping in an Interdenominational Church on Clark Air Base and I was involved in a large group of women who gathered to pray for the needs of others, and for healing on a weekly basis.  We sang songs, sometimes chanting Psalms, we prayed and received prayers. We were a group of women who came from different parts of the US and who came from different denominations, but with two things in common.  We were military wives and we believed in Jesus. Women who loved the Lord.  I loved this group!  I still long for such a gathering of diverse Christians who just love on each other and welcome Holy Spirit to be in the midst of it all.  After Joel became a Lutheran minister, those diverse groups were behind us.  Over the years periodically I would find comfort in the familiar and yet struggle with it at the same time.  When I expressed what I was feeling it would sometimes hurt those whom I loved the most.  I did not know how to justify or appropriately share what I felt.  I did not know how to combine the two of me into one style of worship....the enthusiast with the traditionalist.

And then I was introduced to this book that identified temperaments like the traditionalist, enthusiast, sensate, and more. Our friends Mary Lou and Keith brought the book to our attention, we began reading it and it all started to make sense to me.  My spiritual temperament fits into a church that raises it's hands to the Heavens, sings loud praise music, and looks for the supernatural and Holy Spirit to show up and shake up the scheduled service .......or at the least. my heart.  It would be why my top spiritual temperament is as an "enthusiast".  There I was.  Right there in print.  A typical enthusiast.  This is what feeds my soul and awakens my heart in such ways that I could burst with love for my God.  God always works things out!

I began to find this form of worship online at Bethel Church when I was first on the road to healing. And last summer we found a church here in town that fed both our souls in worship and teaching.  As time went by though, we realized we did not quite belong as Lutheran charismatic prophetic Christians.  So easy to find, right?  So we have been going to mostly Lutheran services again, especially when Joel is filling in.  Great people, great churches, and solid traditional services.

So, this place in our journey found us three Sundays ago at our son Mark's church in Lakeville MN. Hosanna is a "once upon a time Lutheran" congregation of 20,000 members with their own coffee shop, book store, assisted living buildings, and more.  Mega.  As we worshiped with Mark and our grandson Noah, and Jada,  I immediately felt my soul fill up once again with God's presence.  I quietly wept with joy that I could be in a "sorta Lutheran, prays for healing, charismatic, hands raised in praise" Sunday worship.  It. nourished. my. soul.

And because of the book God placed in front of us through dear friends, I was able to understand that this is exactly how I meet with God best, not only in church, but in devotions and prayer.   I need not criticize other forms of worship or desire others to be "like me".   I also need not feel guilty because my Lutheran heritage has widened its boundaries and is nourished more by a different form of worship, as an enthusiast who loves to encounter Holy Spirit and the supernatural.  My soul gets fed through relationships, enthusiastic worship, supernatural encounters, and feeling what I experience with Holy Spirit.  There is definitely room for all forms of worship in God's world.  We are all Christians....having unity in our diversity.

I am still exploring how to blend it all together.  The most important thing may not be where we worship, for God, after all, called Joel to be a Lutheran pastor.  The most important thing may be to learn how I relate best to our Papa God and make sure I take those minutes or hours to nourish my soul as an enthusiast.  I find it so amazing that God in His infinite wisdom created us all unique not only in body, but in soul and spirit. He created each of us, so our spiritual temperaments are also from Him and for His purpose.  And he created us to stretch and grow from other temperaments as well.  I have seen that with Joel, who scored high as a person who relates to God and worships well in nature.  I was not into nature much when I met him, but certainly seek it out now.  It is not at the top of my temperament list, but it has its place in my life.

Certainly, as with all books, we discern and glean from what we read, deciding what applies for us as individuals.  It was fun and enlightening to see our spiritual temperaments defined, revealing deeper insights and some inner peace as to what nourishes our souls.   I love how God guides us along the path He has for our lives, making all things work together for good as He shapes us.  Isn't He amazing!

A Friend Indeed

Lana and I at their cabin, 2014

As the time for my 50 year high school reunion nears, I have been thinking a great deal about my years in what I call my home town.  I moved so often as a child, but spent 8 years there....the longest I lived anywhere until our last move to Iowa.  It is a mixed bag of memories.....good, bad, and ugly.....Mostly good memories, but a couple of tough years before moving in with my older sister and her family.

During those tough times, a dear friend and her mother took me under their wings.  Dear sweet Lana used to bring me home for lunch, as we went to grade school together.  Lana and her mom loved on me with kindness, and I would stay there once in awhile too.  I am sure they noticed my clothes were not always clean, nor did they fit properly.  In fifth grade I skipped school more than I want to admit, and did not always have lunch money when I did go.  Although they never said anything to me, they knew things were tough at home and they alone reached out to me during those two years. We have been friends ever since. We don't often see each other, but when I think about that time in my life and the past 57 years of friendship, it warms my heart.  God placed her and her mom in my life and I am forever grateful that they responded to God with a yes.

Lana also played an important role in me accepting Jesus into my heart.  I can see Lana and myself sitting together in a large recliner at a friend's home.  She was talking about Jesus to me.  Somewhere in the conversation she asked me if I wanted to accept Jesus as my Savior and I said yes.  We prayed together and so began my journey in earnest of walking with God.  It still is amazing to me that such a young girl would be bold enough to share the gospel and ask me the most important question of my life.  Only God.

I am sure over the years there have been many other people that Lana has reached out to and still does.  She has lived a life of faith, often going through her own tough times.  Very difficult times, in fact, where her faith sustained her and she was an example for the rest of us to follow.

Do you have people in your life who have been a pivotal part of your journey? Someone who has a heart for God and a heart for others?  Today I honor my friend Lana, and give thanks to God for her faith, her friendship, and her big heart.  She is the definition of friend, a friend indeed!

Celebrating The Day Lyme Died

It was three years ago today we called Andrew Wommack's prayer ministries and asked for someone to stand in prayer with me for the Lyme and co-infections to be gone from my body.  A woman named Rachel prayed with me.  To clarify that, she spoke to the mountains in my body.....27 years of Lyme bacteria that had entered every organ, tissue, bone, and nerve, slowly destroying my life.  Antibiotics and herbs could not kill it all off.  But prayer did.  Rachel spoke directly to the Lyme, cursing it and commanding it all to die in the name of Jesus.  She spoke to my body commanding it to rise up and be healed in the name of the One who gave authority to believers.  She spoke scriptures over my body, and she praised Jesus the Healer for the weight of sin and sickness He carried on the cross for us.

That day the Lyme, Bartonella, Babesia, and Ehrlichia died.  How do we know?  For the next three weeks while the bacteria died and left poisons behind, I was in horrible pain.  If you know anything about Lyme, you know that die off is worse than the daily living......It is called "herxing".  Two months later my two doctors confirmed that the Lyme was gone.  Praise Jesus.

Are all my symptoms gone?  Not yet. My full healing has been a process.  More crockpot style than microwave, like Joels.  But the crockpot healing has also released me from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Multiple Chemical Sensitivities and allergies, thyroid disease.  Bringing my chronically ill body back to full health has taken me through a season of inner healing too.  A journey guided by Holy Spirit.   Seeking healing has brought me into a closer relationship with God and Jesus, and amazing life-changing encounters with Holy Spirit.  All ordained by my Papa God.  The One who delights in me.  In you.

Thinking back on the many years of horrific pain and sickness that are behind me, brings me to my knees in gratefulness for where I am today.  What we have learned about healing and Holy Spirit has taken us out of our comfort zone and into a life God has ordained.  We can never go back to our old way of living or thinking.  We have experienced the "something more" that Catherine Marshall talked about in her book of the same title I read over 40 years ago.  It has wrecked us.  And we love it.

So, today we celebrate the day I was healed from Lyme and it's nasty friends. Today we celebrate the day the enemy lost a big, long battle in my body.  And we celebrate the freedom that has come with Jesus.  We celebrate the victories yet to come.  We give praise to the One who holds our every moment!

 

 

I am linking up with Bonnie over at Faith Barista

 



 

Rescued From The Unexpected

"The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack

and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom.

To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen."
2 Timothy 4:18NIV

This past weekend we experienced heavy rainfall here in our corner of the world.  In less than an hour we received over two inches of rain.  Three teenage boys were driving through the downtown area of our city to meet a friend at a local McDonalds.  They were wearing baseball uniforms, as they were heading to play a game out of town.  All of a sudden the underpass they drove through filled with water and they found themselves submerged up to their car windows in a lake with whitecaps.  Totally unexpected.  Stunned, they sat in the car wondering what to do. 

A man was on his way to work and came upon this scenario.  He parked his pick-up sideways on the road to stop other cars from driving into the flooded area and then he walked into the water.......to the car holding the three teens captive.  He helped them get out and get back to his pick-up before calling for the police.  The young driver was worried about leaving his car, but the older man told him, "A car can be replaced.  Human lives cannot."  I can imagine there were some pretty grateful parents giving their kids extra hugs that day!

This incident reminded me so much of our lives.  We are going along, filling our days with activity, family, and friends.  Just doing life.  All of a sudden, the unexpected happens and we find ourselves in deep water, not knowing what to do or where to turn.   It can be overwhelming, and anxiety comes to visit.   We wonder what to do. 

Suddenly we see someone coming towards us.  Someone who has a plan to rescue us from our circumstances.  Someone we can trust.  That Someone is Jesus.  He may use people or other means to help us, but our help all comes from God.  The Bible is filled with stories where God came to the rescue of His people.  God is not only our Provider and our Healer, but He is our Rescuer!  He rescues us from our "suddenly"  with His Suddenly.  Expect, trust, and depend on Him to rescue. He will, He does.  The Bible tells us so.  Give Him praise and expect to be rescued from the unexpected!

The Lord Will Provide And Today That Is With Water!

We woke up today to frozen water pipes.  Four of our neighbors have been without water for up to 6 weeks.  Six weeks of no running water to shower, wash clothes, dishes, or the body.  Six weeks of carrying water to the house to flush toilets.  Six weeks of finding places to shower or even stay when weary of the efforts.

We were one of two around us who still had water.  We prayed, and our water angel kept the earth warm while we ran water 24/7 inside the house.  Then this weekend the temperatures were near 50 and our water temperature when tested was at 45!  So we lessened our vigil and stopped the 24/7 water trickling down the drain along with our money to keep it running.  Just one day...then two. 

Joel woke at 4am today and checked the water temperature.  It was down to 42 but for weeks it had been at 39 so he thought we were good.  At 5:30am I was up when nature called and there was still water to flush the toilet.  But at 7 am every tap in the house was dry.

Before Joel announced the news, I woke up and as is my pattern, I reached for my Daily Light book that shares morning and evening scriptures for each day of the year.  The first scripture for March 10th was "The Lord will provide."  I read through the scriptures for the day and just as I finished Joel came into the room and said, "I have bad news. No water."

Now, I need to add a side note here that every single month for the past 5 months we have had some kind of water crisis.  Seriously.  Every month for 5 months.....but back to this morning....

The first thing I said was, "Oh, no.  What will we do?  No place to shower, do dishes, wash clothes....Where was our water angel?"   After a few minutes of woe, I reached for our scripture book and read the one at the top of the page.  "The Lord will provide."

We knew we needed to be deliberate about how we responded to this.  GOD WILL PROVIDE.  We grabbed hold of this to stand on.  Joel began the day by walking house to house to tell neighbors one more of us had come up dry, just in case others were thinking the warmer weather would keep liquid flowing from the tap.   I put on praise music and went to my daily blog friends to see how God would reach out to us through His faithful believers.

A post from Linny over at A Place Called Simplicity restored calm as I read about how God told her to pray with expectancy, that HE WOULD PROVIDE.  Yes, provision was coming.....so I began to give thanks to Jehovah Jireh, the Lord who provides, waiting to see how things would play out.

Before the next hour was up the neighbor behind us offered water to flush toilets and their home for showering.  Another neighbor down the block offered their place to shower in.  My BIL called in response to our early morning SOS, and said we could use their home while they are gone.  And then the provision doubled when our next door neighbor, the only one in us six who still had water, called and told Joel to just run a hose from his house to ours for water to come right into our home!!  Joel graciously said, thank you and stated he would pay for the water bill costs that would go up.  And I found myself giving thanks for the first time ever that the neighbor on that side is so close to us  :-)  making this easy to do.

THE LORD WILL PROVIDE!

We are so grateful that God has answered our needs before we knew we needed them with His Word,  and that He has provided above and beyond what we could ask or think today just as Linny shared.  He is amazing!

We are giving thanks and praise as we count the blessings today.....with humility and joy.  Counting the gifts along with Ann over at A Holy Experience, praying with expectancy, and rejoicing for the  more that came in the form of precious water!