About 4 weeks after my first eye shot for a vessel leaking in the left eye, my vision went "wonky". Reading was difficult because with that eye the sentences were wavy....and vertical lines were too. Also, looking with my left eye, faces were distorted and vision was low. My right eye was having trouble tracking with this change.
Can I just say, this was so not okay?! I was trying to stay in peace but was tossed about on a sea of emotions. I called the eye specialist on Monday morning and saw the retina doctor yesterday afternoon. Side note: When did doctors start looking like they are 12 years old to me??
After I was examined, I was told everything looked "normal". No bleeding, no real swelling. Probably just fluid from the leaking vessel that moved and caused these problems. "Normal". Seriously? He wanted me to accept that this is normal? Maybe in his world, but not in mine. It is difficult enough to be the youngest by far of anyone waiting to take their turns with tests, exams, and injections. Younger most likely because of the damage from that $#%&@ Lyme. I get that, and there was some relief to hear that even though symptoms are worse, damage isn't, but I don't think I will ever accept that this is normal.
I don't like this one bit, and refuse to partner with the word, "normal" when dealing with this condition, but I am grateful right now for the medical help. I never forget, though, that my true Helper goes by the title Papa.....Daddy.....Father. When I was talking to God about it all, He blessed me via Facebook, with words from Brian Simmons of The Passion Translation. Words that fit so well, I tucked them into my heart along with the promises God has placed on my life.
"What you call delay, God call's preparation. Many times God is at work behind the scenes, yet you cannot discern it. God is preparing others so that your destiny may be fulfilled and God is preparing you even as He prepared Joseph for his season of promotion. Never judge God's works by what your eyes see but by the promises He has made to you. He will fulfill His word, and your eyes will see the miracles of His hand."
Miracles ahead! I look forward to miracles being the norm. We won't need them in Heaven, everything is perfect there, but when His Kingdom comes on earth as it is in Heaven? When we do as he commanded...."Heal the sick....cast out demons....." ? When miracles and healing are part of our churches, homes, communities? Yeah......I look forward to that kind of normal. Meanwhile, I stand on His promises and rejoice in the miracles we do see. I don't know how a person lives without our Papa God to depend on. So grateful.