The "Why" Questions

Joel and I were talking about our journey over the past 58 months and reflecting on our experiences. \ It has been nearly 5 years since Holy Spirit shook up our world, since our veer we took to the right with Joel's overnight miracle. A veer is a change in course or direction and we definitely have experienced that.  Joel told me that while in this season of revelation he has asked God, "Why did this come to us so late in life?"  Yes, why now Lord?

Speaker and teacher Graham Cooke has stated that why questions are never answered here on earth, that why questions are asked from a victim stance.   He considers them invalid.  They make us invalids.......and often victims of our circumstances.  Something to think about.  Joel has often said to me that we have no answers for the "whys", so maybe we we would be better off asking God, "What does this mean? What do we do now?"

Looking back we know we began this journey with Holy Spirit 44 years ago when we went with persistent friends to their church in Duluth Minnesota.  We would go to Sunday morning services at our Lutheran church and with friends Sunday night to their Assembly of God congregation, The Tabernacle.  I really enjoyed going there and felt right at home, while Joel found it a bit uncomfortable......not knowing what to expect. Joel told me recently that we kept going because I wanted to.  I did not know that, but I knew I had been searching for a deeper relationship with God.

At the Tabernacle I recall their vast auditorium with wooden seats and a full orchestra for worship.  It was amazing to sing along with the piano and orchestra.  I also hold close two special God experiences while we were there.  One was an encounter with Jesus or an angel.  I cannot tell you who, but I can tell you it happened.  As I went up front to kneel at the altar in prayer, I had my hands folded and eyes closed.  I felt someone cover my hands with their warm ones, then my hands were taken apart and lifted up in the air.  I remember smiling and opening my eyes to see who was cradling my hands, and was completely surprised to find I was all alone at the altar. There was no one in the natural world holding my hands, "only" that special Someone in the spirit world.  

At that time in my life I was struggling with some childhood issues.  I was experiencing anxiety when Joel left home for work, whether day or night.  I struggled with fear and a deep sadness that a therapist was able to pinpoint as a grieving over my father's death.  I was 7 when he died, and my sister and mom were so worried about how distraught I was that we pretended my dad was away on a trip.  We pretended he would be home soon.....that pretending kept me in a place of grief that was showing up in my daily life when my hubby left for his own "trip" to work each day.  Once we were able to connect the grief in my 20's with my loss at age 7, the doors to that healing opened.  God knew I was in need of His touch on my life and it came literally at the altar one Sunday night.   I was hungry for something more during that season of growth in 1972 and God provided that.

Going to The Tabernacle also opened a door that took me 40 years to walk through.  As I have said before, this church is where I first heard the gift of speaking in tongues.  Several women went into a prayer room and I went along with them.  I sat on a chair and watched them all get down on their knees and pray....first quietly in English and then in their prayer languages.  While sitting there listening, I felt such a deep sense of peace come over me ~ which I know now was the presence of God.  Leaving the church that night, I began a quest for myself and spent a few weeks trying to receive this gift before coming to the conclusion that it must not be for me.  I was unable to seek more understanding with our friends, because Joel was assigned to Clark Air Base, so we left Duluth and headed across the ocean to The Philippines.

While living in The Philippines I also became involved with an Interdenominational prayer group of women who's husbands were in the military.  We prayed, sang, and while there I experienced my first healing.  I had been dealing with boils and had a large one under my arm.  The first time they lanced the boil and stuffed it with gauze Joel could hear me yell from down the hall.  I had to go back and have it drained again and repacked and two women prayed for me before I left the group. While the Dr. worked I never felt a thing.  The nurse who was holding my arm tightly over my head kept asking me if I could feel what they were doing......they had expected some reactions to the intense pain that comes with such a procedure.  I said no.  They were confused, but I told them..."I was prayed for and God took away the pain".  He certainly did!

Even with two of my friends in the Philippines having the gift of tongues, and even with the women's group I was part of sharing Holy Spirit, and even with my healing experience,  I did not walk through the door into my own encounters with Holy Spirit for so many years.  How grateful I am for His patience!

It was 40 years later that I did receive the gift of a prayer language.  It was 40 years later that I encountered Holy Spirit.  I find irony in the 40 year marker........seems like that is an important number in Bible history.

It was while looking back at all this that Joel and I pondered if God was patient and persistent with us, or if it was His timing.  Maybe a little of both.  When the "why" questions rise to the surface we try to leave them at the feet of Jesus, so we are doing that in regards to our own long journey through the wilderness.  We are receiving all that God has for us now in our adventures with Papa, Jesus and Holy. Grateful, so grateful for where He has led us the last 44 years and where He is leading us now.

Coloring Outside The Lines

My daughter Beth and her family gave me a great Christian, for-big-kids, coloring book for my birthday and I have been spending time off and on adding color to a few pages with my pencils.  I love paper....no news there.  I love writing on paper (or now keyboarding on the white pages of documents online).  I used to get excited when it was time to purchase notebooks for the school year~ all that crisp clean paper!  I did learn this week that I don't like coloring out of the lines.  I'm 68 years old and I get annoyed when I accidentally color outside the lines. I want the pencils to be sharp and the picture to look perfect~okay, I said it!  Perfect.

Now, I am very aware, that in regards to what we believe about healing and Holy Spirit, we have colored outside the lines of our Lutheran heritage.  Of many denominational "lines".  And I am loving our life in that regard. But am I still struggling with staying inside the lines?  Hmmmm

This aha moment with the coloring book took me way back to when I was an Interpreter for the Deaf in a special needs preschool in MN.  I had two little guys I worked with who were both named Charlie and both were profoundly deaf and needed hearing aids and an interpreter.  I was blessed to spend one school year with them..........they taught me a lot!  Ha....

Recently I heard someone say that by age 8-10 most kids have lost a large percentage of their creativity while going to school.  No coloring outside the lines, please.  And can you blame teachers when they have such large classrooms or standards to follow. Unlike some of my family, I am not a teacher, but I remember well the day one of my Charlies wanted to color the bird in the picture he was given a bright yellow.  The teacher was very upset because I let him color a bluebird yellow.  It just was not okay. He needed to know it was blue because it was a bluebird.  I did not know her argument behind it, and she could have been justified in her persistence to get it into his head, but it seemed over the top for me, and certainly stifled his creativity.  I can still see his face. He knew it was a blue bird. He was not being defiant, he just wanted it to be the color of sunshine.

How often do we stifle creativity in the church body?  During worship?  How often do we hear, "We have always done it THIS way."  How often do we look at someone a little different in their thinking, in their way of worshiping Jesus and we judge that.  How many of us don't want the judgement of others so we stop coloring outside the lines?  Yeah.....

When we were in Arizona we went to a large Methodist church in Gold Canyon.  We were worshiping in the contemporary service and I noticed the music leaders were raising their hands at times.....as were we.  But when I turned to the side and saw a few others raising their hands while singing to our Lord, I noticed I felt relief that I could be who I am and would not stand out.  Some stood to sing. Some sat.  Some raised their hands.  Some did not.  Some swayed with the music. Some did not. The sweet 80 plus woman sitting next to Joel often said, "Praise the Lord" and when we left she leaned over and gave me a big kiss on the cheek, saying, "I am sooooo glad you came. I hope we will see you again!"  And it was all A-okay.

In school we are taught to stay in the lines and learn all that is presented to us, but when we come before God to worship we don't all have to color in the lines of someone else's making. We don't all have to be alike, worship alike, dress alike, pray alike.  How boring would that be.

Don't we all see things differently?  Maybe we see things according to the gifts God has placed inside of us.  Sometimes those gifts are never revealed or used because we are kept within the lines of someone else's making. Gifts kept hidden because of judgement or our own insecurity.

Today I listened online to a young boy around 8 years old get up in front of a large congregation to share his story.  While singing God told him he needed to buy 20 Bibles and give them to the homeless. He decided that was too many to buy so he aimed for 15.  He did listen to God's voice, encouraged by his mom and dad, and he decided to have a race and people could donate money for the Bibles from the kids who were running.  He did so, and they raised over $1,000.  He was able to take not 15 Bibles, but 87 Bibles down to the homeless shelter and they were able to share the Gospel with several there.  A few came to know Jesus and a few were healed BECAUSE an 8 year old boy heard God speak to him and was allowed to color outside the lines and do what God asked of him.

Speaking for ourselves, Joel and I have been challenged to step outside of our comfort zones, not once but many times and it is not always easy.  God just keeps revealing more, asking more, showing up more in ways that sometimes color outside the lines.  For His purpose.  It is all for His purpose and His glory.   He loves all His creation so much He wants them all to know Jesus and He desires a close relationship with His children. Sometimes that includes coloring outside the lines.  Always it means using the gifts God has given you to worship Him, to serve Him, and to love others.  Lets not get in the way of others doing so by judging or limiting them from coloring outside the lines.

A Thank You To Those Who Protect And Serve

Matt with Dad and Mom 2014

It is National Police Week.  It is during this time of year that we set aside a few minutes to show appreciation to all the great officers in our nation that serve and protect.  It is especially a time for us to honor our son Matt who has been a police officer for going on 20 years now.  We are proud of all of our children and their callings, but today we share how proud we are of Matt and his determination to fulfill his calling to protect and serve as best he can in a world filled with brokenness.  

Thank you Matt for wearing your badge with honor and integrity.  Thank you to his partner Michelle and friend Steve who do the same.  Thank you to all officers who serve well, making difficult decisions every day while hoping to go home to their family at the end of their shifts. Thank you.

Happy Hens

I was sitting with a couple of people after services on Sunday morning as they discussed the egg crisis.  Seems they heard that eggs were being brought in from Denmark due to the Avian Flu epidemic in our corner of the world.  They were talking about how the price for eggs was rising.  I shared that we ate organic eggs so the cost was always high.  One of the women then asked me if I thought different eggs tasted differently.

We love to eat eggs...fried, omelets. boiled.  We used to buy farm eggs.  Across the board they taste much better than eggs that we buy in the store.  Eggs created by hens who never get outside the big metal buildings they are caged in, whether organic or regular, do not taste as good as farm fresh. When I was asked why I thought the eggs tasted better I said, 'Because the hens are happier".  I totally believe that.  Yep.  Happier hens produce tastier eggs!  And chicken.  And beef.  And.......

I can relate to those caged hens.  When we visited our friends Marge and Dick Johnson a few days ago, Marge commented that I must now feel set free from the cage of chronic illness that kept me a prisoner in my own home.  I do.  I feel so free thanks to the healing power of Jesus. 

"It is for freedom that Christ set us free,

so I will stand firm then,

and never again be burdened

by a yoke of slavery or bondage."

Galatians 5:1

(paraphrased)

I am so very grateful for the freedom I have now in my life.  Thanks to my courageous friend Katherine and her ear tuned to God, Joel and I have learned the truth about healing.  We are seeing healing in ourselves and in others.  We are free to live a healthy, happy life.  No more Lyme.  No more co-infections.  No more MCS.  No more CFS.  Oh, yeah, there are a few things we are standing firm for in my body, but we know that we know that we know.....Jesus died for sickness and disease too and He sets us free to live a life of freedom.  Restoration is His promise.  Here on earth as it is in Heaven.

And the eggs?  Well, I feel sad for those hens who never see the light of day.  I get it.  I think it is time to find another source of farm fresh or free range eggs.  Happier hens, tastier eggs!

The Easy Way Or The Hard Way

God has been speaking to me the past couple of days about freedom.  In Christ we have freedom from death, from sin, from the enemy who comes to steal, kill, and destroy.  This I know.  And as my body has healed through prayer and speaking to the mountain of disease, I have felt the truth of Galatians 5:1.  "It is for freedom that Christ set us free. So stand firm then, and never again be burdened by a yoke of slavery"  A yoke of slavery to sickness, to sin, to fear, to the enemy.  It is a verse I declare often to remember where I have been and how far I have come. 

This word freedom, and the scripture that goes with it, are not what I would have thought of to carry us through what is going on in our lives right now.  Yet God has been speaking to me through scriptures, books, and devotionals about freedom.  And today Ann Voskamp's blog post echoed what I had been reading about surrender in Heidi Baker's book, "Birthing the Miraculous".  Surrender and obedience bring freedom. But there is more.....

Ann said, "You were born for freedom.  You deliver into it through obedience."  And then, "No one ever enters into the rest of God by giving Him only half of themselves."   She continued to say, "The soundtrack for misery always is, "I did it my way".  Ann often hits the nail right on the head.  Squarely.

My cowboy preacher, Joel, brought a deeper understanding to me with his definition of surrender. He defined surrender to God as being a struggle when it comes from our body or soul.  But when we know who we are and Whose we are through our Spirit within, surrender releases into freedom.  And we know who we are because God tells us who we are.  We are a child of God.  We are made righteous through Jesus.  He delights over us with singing.  There are endless scriptures that tell us who we are!

Getting back to "I did it my way",,,,,,,,,Discerning what is God's will and what is only ours takes time, and even then we can get confused.   In the daylight hours when the sun is clearing out the cobwebs, it all looks good and right.  In the wee hours of the morning when darkness stirs the soul, doubt and fear can work their way in.  At 4:30 this morning I found myself in such a place......and asked the question, "How is this working for you, Renee? 

As I lay in bed tossing and turning,  I remembered what Jesus had spoken to me in the garden yesterday morning.  If you visit here often you know that I meditate most days on imagining myself in the garden of my heart where Jesus comes and speaks to me.  I call it divine imagining as I have learned over the past few years that 99% of what comes is NOT from me.  It is a precious time with God that I continue to be thankful for.  Joel and I are in the middle of a life changing decision for ourselves, and those we love and care about will be affected.  It has me struggling.  In the garden Jesus showed me an enormous bag on the ground that was moving around like something or someone was inside.  I knew it was filled with the thoughts and feelings of others.   Jesus asked me to give it to Him.  He said to me...."You can do this the easy way or you can do this the hard way." I knew what He meant.  I had a decision to make.   I gave Him the bag, and I did so with a sense of relief.

But at 3 this morning when I was wide awake, I knew I was dragging that bag around again,  and was doubting His direction.  I had surrendered, but only briefly.  So I began to release that worry and sadness I was feeling for myself and our family, as I whispered the name of  Jesus over and over with every breath until restful sleep returned.  It was a matter of trust. 

God wants us to trust Him, people.  If you are a follower here, you know this has been a reoccurring theme in my life.  Trusting Jesus.  He wants us to surrender self and embrace freedom in Him. We do that by remembering who we are and Whose we are.  God desires us to experience freedom and He knows that one of the ways that it is released is through obedience.  And obedience comes from surrender.  Surrender is possible when we know who we are and out of trust we rest in that.  I love this song by Bethel Music that speaks so well of being a child of God.  I hope you enjoy it too.

Not One Prison

 

"There is not one prison
that God wants you to stay captive in."

Abi Stumvoll

Falling asleep last night I prayed for quiet peaceful dreams to come.  I woke up at 2am from a nightmare where once again, safety was an issue.  We were in a car, my son Matt, who is a police officer in real life, was outside the car being shot at by a man dressed all in black wearing a ski mask and carrying an AK47.  Matt was unarmed, so he crawled around the side of the car and climbed in the back.  He told me to reach under the front seat and take out the 9 millimeter he kept there.  I did, and he instructed me on how to take the safety off.  For some reason, as dreams go, Matt could not get to the gun so it was in my hands.  As the man came up to the side window pointing the gun at Matt with the intention of killing him,  I lifted the gun up, aimed, and pulled the trigger, once, twice, three times.  As he lay dying I put my face in my hands and repented of killing someone while at the same time giving thanks that we were safe.  Double edge sword. 

Waking from the nightmare, my heart was pounding and safety alarms were starting to go off in my body, so I visualized Jesus with me, and spoke aloud Isaiah 26:3 until sleep came.  At 5am I woke up alert from yet another crazy dream, feeling the old unsafe fears wanting to resurface.  Really?  I prayed for peaceful dreams to replace the "always busy doing" dreams and ended up with nightmares!  I was ticked.  I am no longer captive to this stuff.  I know where these nasty dreams come from so I spoke aloud to the enemy.   "I refuse to partner with you anymore.  I am not believing your lies.  I send you to the foot of  the cross and I receive peace in place of fear.  Jesus is here and I am being held safely in His arms."  Satan slithered away, sleep came again and the nightmares stopped. 

Today I went to Bethels website and saw an unfamiliar face of a younger woman named Abbi Stumvoll, who had preached on Friday night.  I decided to see what she had to say, and as God often does, what she shared was just what I needed to hear.  She spoke about her own journey with inner healing.  Life had been difficult for her as she believed the lies spoken over her as a child and young adult.  Four years after discovering God's deep love for her and His desire to bring her healing she said,  "Being set free from fear, anger, or whatever chains hold you, seldom comes as the "suddenly" we read about in the Bible. We cannot force God to give us our "suddenly".  It usually comes as a process moving us to a place where we are fully persuaded God will do what He has promised in His Word.  It is our responsibility to hear and trust the truth....trust the process and step out in faith.  It is God who sets us free to be who He has always planned us to be."  Amen!!  This is good news for all of us isn't it!

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me

because he has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners

and recovery of sight for the blind

to set the oppressed free,

to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."

Luke 4:18,19

(Isaiah 61)

There is not one prison that God wants you to be captive in.  Not one.  He sent Jesus to set the captives free!!!  Free!!!  Sometimes it is difficult to face the pain so we run from it, but that only gives it more power.  The power we desire is the same power that raised Jesus from the dead and lives inside of us.  So, when we turn and face those fears...the pain......even pursuing them, God shows up with Heaven's armies to do battle with us, bringing us out of captivity.  It may not happen suddenly but it will happen.

It is for freedom that Christ sets us free.  No chains.  No prison walls of fear, anger, sickness, bitterness, unforgiveness, childhood trauma, poverty, or more.  Not one prison. 

"It is for freedom that Christ set us free.

So stand firm then and never again

be burdened by a yoke of slavery/bondage."

Galatians 5:1

Military Memories

Today is Veteran's day and it has had me remembering the 8 years Joel served in the Air Force and how much it shaped our lives.  When Joel was 18 he went to Junior College to get a two year degree in Wildlife management after which he decided to go to Bible College at The Lutheran Bible Institute (which became Golden Valley Lutheran College our second year).  We met while both attending, and were married just a few weeks after we graduated from their two year program. 

Joel was pretty sure he wanted to be a minister but when he received his draft notice right before our wedding, he did not feel right about getting a deferment.  He also knew he did not want to go into the Army, so he enlisted in the Air Force.  He went to basic training in Texas and then we moved to Rantoul, Illinois where he went to more training.  We then moved across the country to Albuquerque, New Mexico to work on the planes that were collecting data to be used for intelligence.  This is where our oldest daughter, Beth was born. 

While stationed in NM Joel heard about an education program he could apply for, which sounded great.  Even though they tried to discourage him, saying most of his credits from his 4 previous years of school would not transfer, he still applied and 96% transferred!  The program was set up so that if Joel qualified for further education, which he did, they would send him to get his college degree and then he would serve them 4 more years in the field of their choosing.  They asked what our first choice was for college.  .......we said  the University of Wisconsin.  They sent us to Salt Lake City Utah!  Pretty typical of the military at that time.  Salt Lake is where our oldest son Matt was born. 

The Air Force sent him to the University of Utah to be a meteorologist.  The math was tough, but he did well..  He enlisted as an Airman, then while in college they bumped him up to a sergeant.  When he graduated, he went to officers training and became a Lieutenant!  Unusual way to be promoted, but all part of God's plan.

After officers training we were stationed in Duluth MN where he forecast weather for pilots.  It was nice to be in our home state and spend more time with family, but after nearly two years there, Joel was due for a remote transfer where family would not be allowed to go.  Several times Joel was called by the office that sent out orders, and "asked" about certain openings they had.  We had never heard of anyone asking....just telling you where you would go, so we felt God was making sure His plan unfolded.  There was a place in Korea, one off the coast of Alaska, and one base in Nam but Joel said no to all of those since we could not go as a family.  It was at this time that we talked about him getting out early out to attend seminary, but when he went in to apply they told him he had orders for Clark Air Force Base in The Philippine Islands.  His only question was "accompanied or unaccompanied?"  It was a relief to hear the family could go with. 

We left Duluth in 1974, drove to CA and then flew to The Philippines where Joel spent 2 years forecasting weather for pilots, many of which were going to Nam.  We were at Clark when Saigon fell, and I helped in the Baby Lift when hundreds of children were taken out of the country to be adopted by families in the states and around the world.  It was a wonderful experience for me to be a part of.  When we first heard we were going overseas, we immediately began praying about adopting.  It had always been in our hearts to do so, and while we were in the P.I. God blessed us with our two middle children, Mark, and our daughter, N.  (she prefers to remain anonymous on my blog).  I just love how God works things out according to His plan.

After 8 years in the Air Force, Joel still felt strongly he wanted to go to seminary, so he left the Air Force and we headed back to MN in the spring of 1976. 

Those 8 years shaped our world in many ways.  We met so many people from different places and we experienced living in a third world country.  Our four older children were welcomed home through birth and through adoption during those years. We saw first hand how our soldiers were sacrificing to help others and keep our country free.   We lived in  4 states and 1 third world country during those years.  We are so grateful for it all.

So today, I give thanks for those who sacrifice to make our world here so much easier.  I/we give thanks for how God guided our lives every step of the way.  We give thanks for our family.  We give thanks for the life long friends we made during those years.  And we remember......with joy....with pride...with thankfulness. 

God Puts His Super in Your Natural!

Yesterday I stopped over to my friend Linny's blog, A Place Called Simplicity and read a deeply honest and heartfelt post on dealing with fear.  She shared how difficult it was for her to fly alone from Arizona to Uganda. She was immobilized and frightened as she dealt with a life long fear that rose to the surface-- being alone.  But God provided.  Over the years God has released her fears of being alone in her home to flying alone across the ocean.  Letting go became  "an obedience thing" and in obedience she has walked through them all into freedom.  Her story is a wonderful testimony to God's goodness and healing power. 

Over the years Linny has also helped me through my own journey with fear. When she shared yesterday that being alone for her means not being safe......that when you are alone bad things happen to you....  It caught my attention as that is exactly what I unknowingly believed.  God has been healing me from those beliefs and I have been walking in freedom, but recently Holy Spirit has been rooting out more of what needs releasing deep inside, and once again being alone at night has become challenging for me. I know in my heart Jesus is with me.....I understand I am not that little girl anymore.  I know I am safe, and yet my body wants to respond like the child I once was.

Last night Joel was gone for the evening and as soon as I closed up the house the old feelings surfaced.  The key here is that they are old feelings that no longer speak the truth.  They cannot be my focus.  So, I turned on praise music and decided to watch a teaching by Havilah Cunnington at Bethel Church.  I had to laugh when she said she was going to speak about fear!  Linny's post and Havilah's teaching!  Just what I needed......Only God!

2 Timothy 1:7 tells us we do not have a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.  Notice that fear is called a spirit.  A spirit sent by the enemy to cause us harm.  But the Bible rejects that and tells us we have a spirit of power....the same power that raised Jesus from the dead...right inside us.  And a spirit of love.....and a sound mind!  The Bible says "do not be afraid" at least once for every day of the year.  "Do not be afraid" was spoken to Moses, to Mary, Joshua and more!  Guess it must be pretty common to deal with fears of one kind or another, but out of love God does not leave us unprepared.

Whether you are afraid to be alone, afraid of spiders, elevators, or the dark, God wants you set free.  He knows the power fear can have in our lives and He reminds us to "fear not, for I am with you always."  And He means it.  

Fear is mostly just False Evidence Appearing Real.  It is a spirit.  It is an open door to the enemy.  Fear is used by the devil against us and is not to be tolerated.  Left alone, it just grows bigger until it consumes your life.

Ann Voskamp, who blogs at A Holy Experience, could not leave her home for years due to fear.  It consumed her life.  She still is challenged by it at times, but with God's help and out of obedience she trusts His Word, and is a mover and a shaker in the world.  As Havilah Cunnington said last night,

"When we obey God He begins to put the super in your natural! 

Figured out your fears?  Just remember, when we trust and obey God, He puts the super in our natural.  He sets us free to be who He created us to be!  Only God!

We Are Not In Kansas.....Or Iowa Anymore!

This was written on Tuesday morning, from the plains of South Dakota.

"It is for freedom Christ set us free,

so stand firm then,

and never again be burdened
by a yoke of slavery."

Gal. 5:1

It is 6:30am, I am sitting out in the van, and the sun is joining me in praising God with a Don Potter CD.  We are not in Kansas...or is it Iowa....anymore!  In the house my cowboy preacher, sister Jan, and BIL Lanny are still sleeping.  In need of some worship time and out of respect to those who can sleep, I am out in the van singing "Our God is holy...He's mighty holy......".  (I am loving Don Potters music!)

I am delighted to be here.  

 

Only God.

My sister has lived in her condo for 15 years and for the first time I am able to visit her.  We left after church on Sunday, heading north, then west, north again, and west one more time before arriving in north central South Dakota nearly seven hours later.

The woman who spent so many years like the boy in the bubble.  Unable to venture out into the world, viewing life from our living room sofa.  And now?  She has been set free by the healing power of Jesus.

This morning I am overwhelmed with joy and thankfulness for all He has done. 

Only God! 

Learning How To Live Free

This week Faith Barista's prompt was a question focusing on our faith journey......What are you learning about yourself?  My answer takes me back to the beginning, bring me into the present, and make room for the "something more" in my future!

After being sick 27 years with Lyme Disease and several co-infections, and spending 10 of those years housebound, I was healed by Jesus from the disease in March 2012.  Getting my body to recover and heal from other conditions such as chemical sensitivities, Lyme arthritis, and more has been a process, but I am seeing my health improve more every week.  I have also been set free from childhood abuse and PTS using Sozo Ministry and sweet Holy Spirit to guide me. 

For the first time in ten years I have been able to go visit our children and their families in their homes, attend church, shop in stores, and have people in our home without consequences to my heath.  Last October my husband Joel and I went on a long vacation for the first time since 1986. Thank you Jesus!  When God impressed on my heart to walk out my healing ~ literally ~ I could walk only 3 minutes without being exhausted, but now I walk 45 minutes nearly every day without fatigue setting in.  None of this was possible just 18 months ago.  I have been learning how to live free.

"It is for freedom that Christ set me free,

so I will stand firm then, and never again

be burdened by a yoke of slavery or bondage".

Galatians 5:1 (paraphrased)

The recovery of my health has been an amazing "only God" journey, but I would be remiss if I did not share what I am learning about myself through my relationship with Papa God.  His priority has been my relationship with Him.  Oh, I know He wants me whole and healthy, but He desires intimacy even more.   Saying yes to this "even more" has opened my heart to deeper healing and discovery
on a soul level.  A place of knowing more of God's love  and wanting others to know the depths of His love, too.

I learned that even though my faith was strong and I had great survival instincts and skills, I had trust issues.  I lived my life never feeling safe or secure, I lived my life on alert.  You cannot get much rest when you are always on alert to what might happen next.  It wearies the body and soul. 

Jesus says, "Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest...."  in Matthew 11.  We cannot rest in Him unless we trust Him, so in obedience I have been on a journey to discover more of His love.  Knowing how much God loves me has been the foundation for trusting Him, which results in saying yes to Jesus when He beckons....come...come....I will give you rest.   In entering that rest, I am finding freedom.  Freedom from a life on "alert", free to be who God created me to be, free to see myself as God sees me.  Knowing that even with my imperfections I am enough.  God delights in me.  This is really BIG.  Do we really get that?  God d.e.l.i.g.h.t.s in us.....in you...in me. 

I could say so much about what I am learning after 27 years of disease, 57 years of hidden childhood trauma revealed and released, and this continual journey into intimacy with Papa God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit.  I truly can't even describe it all, but experiencing it has let me begin to live free.  Free of disease, free of fear, free of PTS, free of self-condemnation or the condemnation of others.  ALL because of the Father's love, Jesus sacrifice, and Holy Spirit's empowering gifts.

It is for freedom I have been set free!