Leaving Normal For Amazing!

This past week Maya Angelou died at age 86.  She will be missed greatly for the many gifts she shared with the world, even as her legacy continues.  One of her quotes I heard this week has given me pause.

"If you are always trying to be normal,
you will never know how amazing you really are"

It was only a couple of weeks ago that I was lamenting to my cowboy preacher about not being "normal",  or feeling normal.  Okay, maybe I was having a bit of a pity party over it.  I will spare you all the birth to age 66 details, but suffice to say, the path I was taken down as a kid and the path Joel and I have traveled as adults has not been close to "normal".  Or at least the world's idea of it. This day I pondered the direction God has been taking us the past two years.  This new journey with supernatural healing and encounters with Holy Spirit. The one that has us just a little to the right of crazy!

Don't misunderstand me, at this time in our lives we are delighted to have our faith stretched and shaped by new experiences and a deeper relationship with Papa God.  But there are moments I desire to just fit in.  Moments I long to be among others with skin on who "get" where we find ourselves.  Others who think that just a little to the right of crazy is "normal".  Less lonely?  Ready for that.  We would never sit down and refuse to go where God is calling us, but in our mainstream denomination we no longer blend in.  We are not just Lutherans.  We are Lutherans with an add on.  We speak in tongues, believe God wants you well and that sickness was covered by Jesus' death on the cross.  (Please note that I am fully aware that most mainstream churches don't embrace these ideas or gifts either.)

So far, the only place where I have felt normal in the sense of blending in was at St Paul's (Lutheran) Westport in Westport CT.  A long, long drive to church from northern Iowa!   I don't think a move East is in our future, so maybe what I need to be do is let go of the need to be normal....which comes with the need for approval.  Both are destructive.

"If you are always trying to be normal,
 you will never know how amazing you are!"

Maya

I am amazing......in God's eyes.  And if in God's eyes then I better embrace it!  I am amazing.  YOU are amazing!  We can shake off the need to be normal...the need for any one's approval but God's.   I am still holding on for friends who echo our journey and I believe God will provide them, but normal is just a setting on my dishwasher.  I'm ready to leave it there, embrace our just a little to the right of  crazy 100%, and move into amazing!

Yesterday I was upstairs getting ready to change when my hubby came up barefoot, wearing shorts, a red windbreaker and his cowboy hat.  Yes, he looked a bit silly.  He invited me to go outside with him and slosh through the rainwater running fast and deep down the side curb of our street.  I declined, but he coaxed me out into the rain, and we walked up and down the street as the water washed over our feet and the thunder rumbled overhead.  Once I quite worrying about what the neighbors would think and let myself remember how much I loved this as a child, I had a delightful time playing in the rainwater!  

"If you are always trying to be normal

you will never know how amazing you really are"!

Maya Angelou

 I am giving thanks today for the supernatural, for not being normal, and for being amazing in God's eyes.  I am counting it all joy as I link up with Ann over at A Holy Experience.

Created, Grafted, and Morphed Into Family

This past Saturday afternoon we attended a graduation party for my sister and brother-in-law's grandson.  As I observed their family I could not help but be amazed.  My sister Kay is now a great-grandmother. Younger than me....there she and her hubby are with their son, granddaughter and great grandson, with only the matriarch missing....Great-great Grandma Jo, age 81, who was so disappointed she could not attend.  Family means everything to her and missing a gathering of any kind saddens her heart.   Watching the family together I once again realized how blessed my sister is to be graced with not only a tightly knit family, but a deep love that has been created by our Papa God and has blossomed into five generations. 

Since then, I have been pondering all that encompasses family.

No one can drive us as crazy as our loved ones, and no one can connect us more than the deep roots that grow, are grafted, or created to morph into what we call family.  God created family for a reason from the beginning.  The Bible also speaks about marriage being sacred, the birth of babes, the caring for elders.  Just look at the fourth commandment....the first one with a promise.  "Honor your father and your mother....so your days may be long. "  The Bible talks about loving others, even our enemies...Have any family members that you would put in that category?  (giggle)

We all have them....or we are them...you know,  the family members that make Thanksgiving a story to tell.....the Aunt or Uncle or sibling or distant cousin....the one who shakes up the house, shifts the atmosphere or raises the level of annoyance to fingernails on a chalkboard height.

Today I embrace them all.  The family members that build character or maybe bring character to a gathering.  Those that shake the house or maybe liven up the house.  Yes, even those who cause tension or maybe they give us cause to laugh and release tension.  The good, the bad....still not so sure about the ugly.  Ugly can be unhealthy.....raise safety issues.

I do give thanks for what makes a family....generations of characters brought together in so many ways to tell a story. Family that makes us who we are and reminds us of Whose we are....created by the Creator.

I give thanks to our Papa God who adopted us into His family, making us children of God.  All of us with so many different personalities, so many gifts and yes, flaws.  I give thanks to God who understood we would need to know about forgiveness and love and taught us all about it in His living Word.   Loving others....loving ourselves and forgiving the same.  Wise and perfect in His love, we embrace the family of God, and we embrace our own families.  Generations of family trees created, grafted, and morphed together to be connected in love, ours and His.  I am counting it all joy!


I am linking up today with Ann over at A Holy Experience
 

We Love Our Life and We Love Telling His Story

Since Joel and I began this latest adventure in faithful living, God has turned our world upside down.  As most of you know by now, Joel was physically healed overnight.  A microwave healing...instant!  Joining in with the middle-of-the-night healing wake-up call from God was another surprise.  As a solid traditional Lutheran Joel had told me more than once that he would not know what to do with the gift of speaking in tongues and had no desire to have it.   God had other plans ~~~~Joel was also given a prayer language along with his healing, which spun him around 360.  In fact, that night changed both our lives forever.  My healing has been mostly crockpot style, but I eagerly welcomed and received the gift of a prayer language shortly after Joel.  We wonder now how we ever lived without having this amazing spiritual gift and we are so grateful for where God has led us on our healing journey.  For the two of us there was no going back.  Two years and four months later there is still no going back.  We love our life.

We also love to tell our story.  That was evident again today when we went stove shopping. We ended up at Menards and while Joel finished up our purchase I went out to the car to wait.  And wait..... and wait some more.  After a text from me asking where he was....I received a two word reply.  "Healing story."  Okay then.  It seems the clerk was hearing Joel's story and had questions for him.  Before he left they prayed together.  Right there in Menards.  That would be my cowboy preacher husband.  Sharing his story with the world.  I was very annoyed as I waited in  car, until he shared with me what I am sharing with you.  He was doing what God calls us all to do.  Speak of Him in our storytelling.

"I love to tell the story

Of unseen things above

Of Jesus and His glory

Of Jesus and His love."
(old hymn)

I heard a pastor preaching today and his words affirmed for me why God likes us to tell our stories.  You see, God loves being known and recognized by others as your God.  And when you tell your story of how God has moved in your life, He is glorified and your faith is strengthened.  Besides giving God glory and building our faith, it draws others to Him. 

Joel's microwave healing is only a part of his story....of HIS story.  My crockpot healing is just a part.....the gifts of the Holy Spirit and Holy Spirit "hugs" He blesses me with are only a part of our story.  We have a long HIStory with our God and many stories we share.

Not everyone wants to hear our story.  Not everyone believes our story. But in obedience we keep speaking about a God who heals.  A God who loves. A God who desires a close relationship with us. A God who saves.  We all have a story to share, and I believe God smiles when we voice it.  He smiled today when Joel shared his story and HIS story with the clerk in Menards.  He delights in hearing us tell our story.  His story. 


I am counting it all joy as I link up with Ann Voskamp today at A Holy Experience. 

All God's Promises

On Monday I woke up thinking about the year 2007.  It was a difficult season and I really did not want to look back and remember, but I have found myself doing quite a bit of that lately.  Joel and I seldom talk about that time in our lives.  We have been through really tough circumstances in our years together .....a threat on Joel's life that continued on for over six years......a son who died at age 25, and more years lost to sickness than I care to count.  The year 2007 could also be defined as tough~ and here it was, resurfacing and gaining momentum, as memory after memory surfaced.

Joel had taken a new position as Senior Pastor at a church located in a small town 50 miles east of where we lived .  Accepting the call was Spirit led so therefore, easy, but finding a house to live in was not.  Six months later Joel was still commuting and was gone 12 hours days.  We were desperate to find a place and bought a house too quickly, putting thousands of dollars into renovating it so it was "safe" for me.  I was very ill, home bound and reacted to nearly everything.  We eventually moved in mid April 2007,  but a hidden chemical spill in the basement and our error in the finish we used on the floors kept me confined to a 9 by 10 bedroom with a heavy foil barrier on the floor to protect me.  During the day I would lay in bed or sit in the van at the church while Joel worked.  At night we were confined to the small space that held a bed, night stands, radio and TV.  It. was. horrible.  After a long month we moved back with just a small trailer full of belonging to our former home with where the sale had fallen through.  Three months later we brought all our things back and put them in the garage where they had to "outgas" the chemical smells from the other house for several months.  We eventually put the "unsafe" house on the market and Joel commuted, one hour each way, sometimes sleeping at the church, for three years.

 In May of 2007 I was finally correctly diagnosed with Lyme Disease after 23 years of  illness.  In June 2007 we were in a bad car accident with both of us taking our first ambulance ride together.  In August Joel had emergency eye surgery. After 15 months of double mortgages, we sold the home I couldn't live in at a major financial loss. Lyme treatment was expensive and commuting was costly and lonely.  We were so weary, but God sustained us with His love and promises.

"I will heal the brokenhearted

and bind up their wounds, says the Lord."

Psalm 147:3

God was amazing in how He helped us through that difficult season.  Without God in the picture the memories are painful, but then we are never without God are we?!  This day I was able to look back and give thanks for all the wonderful ways God moved in our lives that year. 

"For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. 

Plans for good and not for evil,

to give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29:11

~The people at the new church were unbelievably generous and kind.  They helped get our house ready before we moved and were supportive even while unhappy when we had to leave.  One couple wanted to pay for my first doctor visit, which cost a few thousand!    Several people gave Joel fuel gift cards for Christmas.  It filled up the tank when gas was at premium prices.  Another man helped us move some of our things back to our former home.  People were constantly praying for us.  The associate pastor helped a great deal.  We are forever grateful to them all.

~Remember what I said about our other home having sold, but then the buyer backed out?  THAT was ordained by God.  We had somewhere to live and it was wonderful to have a whole house to live in again where I was "safe".  We have live here ever since.

"All things work together for good

for those who love the Lord."
Roman 8:28

~Remember the car accident?  We were both okay!  We were a bit beat up and Joel had minor neck issues for a few months, but nothing serious for either of us.  This was not the driver's first accident with his company truck and besides all medical costs, they wanted to pay us a settlement even though we were not planning on any action against them.  That money was such a blessing and also helped to put much needed siding on the house.  Only God. 

~Getting a diagnosis of Lyme Disease meant many challenges ahead, but it would also keep me in the land of the living.  And we were blessed with an amazing Dr. who kept us in prayer during our five years of treatments.   We both ended up needing them!

"I will give you back your health

 and heal your wounds says the Lord."

Jeremiah 30:17

~Joel having to commute to his Senior Pastor position at the church was unfair to all involved...us and the congregation.  Then in 2009 Joel was also diagnosed with Lyme and ended up on disability for 2.5 years, having to resign from his position.  It is not how we wanted things to resolve, but once again God was in the details. The enemy tried to leave us brokenhearted, but God had other plans.

"This is my command ~ be strong and courageous/ 

Be not be afraid or discouraged. 

For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Joshua 1:9

This morning when I talked to God about these memories coming up, I realized it was seven years ago this May that we moved back to our home.  I was so thankful for how it all worked out.  God had a message for me just a few minutes later when I found  myself humming a song I have been singing a lot lately........."The best is yet to come....the best is yet to come.....All of God's promises are yes and amen....the best is yet to come!" 

We all have stories to tell of God being in the details.  Stories of God rescuing us from the schemes of the devil.  Times when we stood on the promises of God.  Looking back and remembering, we are able to see how God weaves His blessings into the fabric of our lives, relying on all His promises!  We are loved by an amazing God!

I am linking up with Bonnie over at Faith Barista  for Whitespace Thursday.

A Passionate Journey

It has been over two years now that Joel and I have been on a quest.  A quest to learn all we can about healing, since Joel's overnight miracle.  Digging into the Word, communing with Holy Spirit, and truly opening the eyes of our hearts to the something more that God has been waiting to share with us for so long.....so patient is our God. 

We have spent countless hours studying everything we can find on the subject, a subject that seems to live and breathe with Holy Spirit wind.  We have taken correspondence courses, watched teachings from several churches and ministries, read many books, studied in depth what the Bible says on healing, attended healing services and then a conference on healing 1280 miles from home.  Distance did not matter to us.  God said go, we went, and our world changed.  A deep desire for something more took root and exploded.  A passion that has opened the Spirit realm to us, breathing new life and shaking us to the core.

I expect some have been weary of our endless talk and our need to share our amazing journey, but we have been told by several people we hold close that we are passionate and it seems to vibrate from every pore.   It has fascinated, frightened, and intrigued.  We won't address the annoyances.  When pleasing people was more important than being real and pleasing God, I worried often about the annoyed.  I knew I had a choice to make. My good friend Linda and I talked in depth about this.....she told me, "Renee, don't lose your passion!"  Don't let others get in the way of what God is doing in your life."  Linda,  who enjoys Arizona warmth year round, sent me a birthday card this year that had Joel and I laughing.   On the outside of the card it says, "Friends like you come along once in a lifetime......"  Inside:  "Which is good because you're a real handful!"  I love this card and keeping it close as we journey forward.

It may be hard to imagine, but we did not really see it as a passion until the word reached our ears several times.  Excitement yes, maybe bordering obsession.....okay we acknowledge that, but this word caused us pause as we recognized it did not come from us...but from God.  And we are counting it all joy.  The quest, the struggles, the victories, the passion, the journey planned by God  All joy.  With grateful hearts we thank you Jesus.

It is Holy Week and all our eyes are on Jesus and His journey planned by God.  Jesus our Savior, our Healer, our Provider, our everything.

His parables, His healing touch

His Words holding life. 

 Thank you Jesus.

His entry into Jerusalem,

His broken body and blood shed for us. 

His cross. 

We tearfully thank you Jesus.

His empty tomb.  His resurrection.  

We rejoice
And give you thanks Jesus.

His Living Word.   His Comforter. 

His power.    His promises.  His passion. 

We humbly thank you Jesus,
Counting it all Joy.
~~~~~~

"But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed."

Isaiah 53:5

Counting it all joy today as I link up with Ann Voskamp over at A Holy Experience

The Tides,They Ebb And Flow

The Tides are here again, they ebb and flow, but they are back and bringing with a flood of sadness and a yearning that longs for more.  Not more things.  As Ann Voskamp shared today with her readers, "We don't need more things, we need more meaning".  No, this wanting of more brings with it a deep ache....in the heart.  We long with intensity to hold our family close.  There is a grieving that comes in with the Tides~ for that which we do not have, that which we miss.

None of our children, in-loves, or precious grandchildren live where we call home.  They are scattered near and far, lives full.  Unlike many of our neighbors, family, or friends, we cannot jump into the car to take in a sports event or concert.  We do not gather for Sunday dinner or birthday celebrations.  Our relationships are mainly nurtured via text, email, phone calls, or a rare "FaceTime" event on iPad. 

Our loving five families are all working at good jobs, active in community and school, have great friends and four of five are very involved in their churches.  And in all but one family the grand kids have other grandparents who are able to spend a great deal of time with them.  Having that comfortable interaction that comes with the familiar.  The "extra" is found in the ordinary, as Ann Voskamp says.

Our lives have changed a great deal lately, with the return of our health now making it possible for us to visit our family more.  Not weekly, not monthly, but being able to travel has made it possible for our once or twice a year in person connections to increase.  We are grateful.  Yet the Tides still come and we struggle with staying joyful in the loss of what we desire for what is real.  At times we are challenged to find the "extra" in the ordinary

What really stops the flow of sadness and brings the extra into the ordinary is counting it all joy.  Looking back and remembering......looking ahead and planning.....centering on the now.....and counting the many blessings with gratitude.

Giving thanks that our children are so blessed with full, healthy, vibrant lives....loving spouses, beautiful children, good jobs and nice homes.  We count it all joy that they have a strong relationship  with Jesus, their family, grandparents that are familiar, and good friends.  Full lives.

We count it all joy that technology, whether a phone or an iPad, makes it possible  for us to connect with loved ones.  And as I look over at my husband of nearly 46 years sitting in his favorite chair, I count it all joy that we have a deep and loving relationship with each other, a strong relationship with God, our health returned, and a future that raises up the opportunities for the extra in the ordinary.  Counting it all joy.   And with the counting the Tides of grief will ebb....and joy will replace the sadness.

I am linking up with Ann today....

God's Mysteries Require No Explanation.

For the past two months I have been having encounters with Holy Spirit which is resulting in more inner and physical healing and most importantly a closer relationship with God.  It is humbling and empowering as Holy Spirit makes His presence known to me in a physical way every day.  Counting it all joy.  I have tried to describe it to a few people, but it has been difficult to explain.

A few days ago while listening to a podcast at a church in CA, the pastor spoke of an amazing encounter he and three friends experienced with angelic presence during a worship and prayer time at church. He went on to say, "What I saw I do not need to explain....I can't really explain it.  It is the mystery of God.  When we talk about these encounters or experiences with God it is important not to try to explain what we do not understand."  Relief settled over me.  The pastor then reminded listeners of the healing of the blind man in the Bible.  The Pharisees heard about the man's healing and  were determined to get an explanation of what had happened.  They spoke to the man who had been blind more than once and even questioned his parents but they refused to talk about it, fearing for their lives.  When the Pharisees questioned the man who had been blind one more time and asked him what had happened he replied, "I don't know.  I only know that I was blind and now I see."   I was blind.  Now. I. see. 

It can be as simple and yet as profound as that. We are one way, encounter God, Jesus, or Holy Spirit, and then we are another way.  Similar to when we become Christians.  We are one way, but when we receive salvation and Holy Spirit comes, everything changes within.  There are mysteries of God we cannot explain, but encountering them does change us.  We cannot really explain the Mystery, so instead of explaining or analyzing, we lift our voices in praise to God, trusting Him in the experience.  Counting it all joy!

You know, sometimes we are frightened or disbelieving when we observe how others experience God's presence if it does line up with our own experiences. It may take us out of our comfort zone or challenge our beliefs. We have observed this at times when sharing Joel's story of overnight healing.  Most people are happy for Joel, but some are weary of us talking about it, even thinking we are bragging...while others try to make it fit into their own experiences.  Recently after Joel shared his miraculous healing with a pastor's wife, she then said, "So what do you attribute to you getting well?  Joel was astounded, but just said one word as explanation.  "Jesus".  Only Jesus.  Counting it all joy.

We are amazed and undone when we open up to the mysteries of God.....and there is such goodness to be found in them.  He has so much to show us, so much to share with us!  Today I have learned through the grace of God that I do not need to explain these personal encounters, just embrace
them.  Live in the mystery, and count it all joy.  When it involves God, the Mystery requires no explanation.


Linking up with Ann today over at A Holy Experience,  counting the gifts and counting it all joy.

The Atmosphere, Captain Phillips, And Our Words

Ann, over at A Holy Experience, wrote today about the benefits of giving thanks.  She is the author of One Thousand Gifts, which tells her story about  how writing down all the blessings every day has changed her life.  Sounds so simple, and it is......but the effect is profound..

A professor asked his students to write letters of gratitude...it changed their lives.  A dying woman wrote down all she is grateful for and still lives.  The stories Ann receives about how her book changed the lives of others would have you picking up your pen and paper to write down your own list of gifts that grace your life.  It has and I do, counting it all joy.

Proverbs 18:21 says their is the power of life and death in our words.  Our words speak life or death ~ our choice.  It is the same for the written word.  Do our words change the atmosphere in our home?  Do our words put a smile or a frown on the face of a child?  Do our words bring peace or anger into the hearts of others.  Count it all joy.

Joel and I watched the movie Captain Phillips late yesterday afternoon.  Based on a true story, it was 2+ hours of sheer tension.  Excellent movie but oh my goodness, it is not for the faint of heart.  When it was over we put on our tennies and went for a long walk, discussing the movie while releasing the tension we felt.  Then last night we watched the second episode of the new series "Resurrection".  The difference in the two was profound, but not for reasons you may think.  After watching the slower paced Resurrection I turned to Joel and said, "I don't like this show.  There is something about it that makes me very uncomfortable....an evil undertone that we could feel sitting in our comfy chairs.  It was like watching this show shifted the atmosphere in our home in a very negative way.  That is what Hollywood does, it shifts the atmosphere around us with fast car chases, or romantic comedy, or tension filled scenarios like Captain Phillips.  One show made both of us tense but exhilarated while observing the humanity of all involved and the survival skills and goodness of the captain.  The other made us both feel a sense of evil and foreboding. 

We made a decision not to watch this TV show again.  Grateful that we can just turn off that big unsightly rectangle that lures us into complicity.  We have a choice.

Just like making a choice not to watch all that comes across our screen, we make choices about what comes out of our mouths too!  IF we believe the Scriptures, then we believe there is the power of life and death IN OUR WORDS.  So what are we speaking?  What are we writing?  What are we watching?  What are we allowing others to speak into us?

Today I am counting the blessings of  our US Seals rescuing Captain Phillips, a remote that has an off button, the power and guidance in God's Word, and the pen and paper within my reach to count the gifts and give God glory.  In doing so, joy reaches out to embrace me, and in return I am able to bless others.  Full circle, this gratitude thing.  For that, too, I count it all joy.

The Lord Will Provide And Today That Is With Water!

We woke up today to frozen water pipes.  Four of our neighbors have been without water for up to 6 weeks.  Six weeks of no running water to shower, wash clothes, dishes, or the body.  Six weeks of carrying water to the house to flush toilets.  Six weeks of finding places to shower or even stay when weary of the efforts.

We were one of two around us who still had water.  We prayed, and our water angel kept the earth warm while we ran water 24/7 inside the house.  Then this weekend the temperatures were near 50 and our water temperature when tested was at 45!  So we lessened our vigil and stopped the 24/7 water trickling down the drain along with our money to keep it running.  Just one day...then two. 

Joel woke at 4am today and checked the water temperature.  It was down to 42 but for weeks it had been at 39 so he thought we were good.  At 5:30am I was up when nature called and there was still water to flush the toilet.  But at 7 am every tap in the house was dry.

Before Joel announced the news, I woke up and as is my pattern, I reached for my Daily Light book that shares morning and evening scriptures for each day of the year.  The first scripture for March 10th was "The Lord will provide."  I read through the scriptures for the day and just as I finished Joel came into the room and said, "I have bad news. No water."

Now, I need to add a side note here that every single month for the past 5 months we have had some kind of water crisis.  Seriously.  Every month for 5 months.....but back to this morning....

The first thing I said was, "Oh, no.  What will we do?  No place to shower, do dishes, wash clothes....Where was our water angel?"   After a few minutes of woe, I reached for our scripture book and read the one at the top of the page.  "The Lord will provide."

We knew we needed to be deliberate about how we responded to this.  GOD WILL PROVIDE.  We grabbed hold of this to stand on.  Joel began the day by walking house to house to tell neighbors one more of us had come up dry, just in case others were thinking the warmer weather would keep liquid flowing from the tap.   I put on praise music and went to my daily blog friends to see how God would reach out to us through His faithful believers.

A post from Linny over at A Place Called Simplicity restored calm as I read about how God told her to pray with expectancy, that HE WOULD PROVIDE.  Yes, provision was coming.....so I began to give thanks to Jehovah Jireh, the Lord who provides, waiting to see how things would play out.

Before the next hour was up the neighbor behind us offered water to flush toilets and their home for showering.  Another neighbor down the block offered their place to shower in.  My BIL called in response to our early morning SOS, and said we could use their home while they are gone.  And then the provision doubled when our next door neighbor, the only one in us six who still had water, called and told Joel to just run a hose from his house to ours for water to come right into our home!!  Joel graciously said, thank you and stated he would pay for the water bill costs that would go up.  And I found myself giving thanks for the first time ever that the neighbor on that side is so close to us  :-)  making this easy to do.

THE LORD WILL PROVIDE!

We are so grateful that God has answered our needs before we knew we needed them with His Word,  and that He has provided above and beyond what we could ask or think today just as Linny shared.  He is amazing!

We are giving thanks and praise as we count the blessings today.....with humility and joy.  Counting the gifts along with Ann over at A Holy Experience, praying with expectancy, and rejoicing for the  more that came in the form of precious water!

Trust Without Borders

 

The group Hillsong, from Australia, has a beautiful song called "Oceans" that our son Mark introduced to us over the holidays.  A portion of the words in one verse have been speaking so powerfully to me lately that it keeps playing over and over in my head, even waking me in the early morning hours.  For three of the past five nights I have awakened around 3:30am with these words playing in my mind. 

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

 

Trust without borders...........this is my prayer.  In deepest waters, Holy Spirit, lead me into the resting place of trust~ the arms of Jesus.  In her book, Birthing the Miraculous, Heidi Baker talks about how Jesus asks us to get deep into the river, immersed in His heart, surrendering to His plan ~ always a journey that cannot be accomplished without Him.  In Ezekiel 47 Ezekiel describes the River of Healing that he saw in a vision.  He was first in ankle deep water, then knee deep, waist deep, and finally in water he could not swim across alone.  It frightened him, but God sent an angel to take him across.  Who do we trust when we are in deepest waters of our own making or of God's beckoning?  God calls us to go deeper still, taking us through the death of self to a kiss of life from our Savior. 
 

Trusting without borders does not come in a moment but a million moments found in the resting, in the counting, in the surrender, in immersing ourselves in the living waters of the One.  Deeper still...Yes Lord, in the Presence let me walk with you upon the waters.  Ann Voskamp says that one of the blessings she has received from counting the gifts is that she trusts her Savior more.  She had "trust issues" until she started counting the gifts moment by every day moment ~ realizing how blessed she was, how much God was there for her. 

 

 Over the past two years Jesus has been healing me of my own trust issues.  He has beckoned me into deeper water, encouraging me to leave the safety of the ankle or knee deep places where I held control and thought I was secure.  Just in the past two weeks I have been on a journey into new, uncharted waters where Spirit has lead me and I have had to trust Him.  He has both shaken and empowered me and whether the waters have been calm or stormy, I have only wanted more of His Presence.  I do not begin to understand the mystery of it all, but I know that it is a beautiful place to be, a place to trust without borders.  

 

 

 

 

Less Of Me Lord, More Of You

"He must become greater and greater and I must become less and less."

John 3:30(NLT)

I found myself wide awake today at 5:10 am with an urgency deep inside to praise Him, the One who grants us rest, sleep, morning.  My heart was so full, words bubbled forth.  Words of praise, words of thanksgiving, words that did not begin to cover the gratitude I was feeling in the pre-dawn quiet of another day. 

Time moved forward, and my mind was without rest as I thought about the past seven days..  It had been quite an amazing week filled with Holy Spirit highs while getting low.  Less of me Lord, more of You.  These Holy Spirit meetings for two were of such depth I could only bend my knee in humble thanks, chanting over and over...less of me Lord, more of You.  I surrender self.  "I surrender" ~ the words leaving my heart created an infilling of joy and presence of the Presence, releasing praise from my lips to God's ears. 

At 6:45 am I let go of the notion of sleep returning and opened our Daily Light scriptures book to February 3rd, where I read the words I had written in the margins on this day two years ago. 

"Just praise Me"

2012

"Just praise Me".  These were words of knowledge shared with me by my friend Linny in 2011.   "Just praise Me.", words shared again in 2012 from Holy Spirit to Joel.  A message repeated so often in Papa God's loving ways throughout times of sorrow and of joy.  There are so many ways to praise the One, through counting a thousand gifts, through remembering His faithfulness, through surrender, through trusting Him.  From our hearts to God's we worship and praise the One.

So, it was no surprise that when I went to visit Ann Voskamp's  cyber home early today, what jumped off the page for me was this statement:

 

"The song is always found in the surrender."

Yes, it is in the surrender where we find the most joy.  Heidi Baker, a controversial missionary/speaker who lives her life for Jesus in Mozambique, says in her book, Birthing The Miraculous, " "Deeper still" is a place of both death and of life.  The Lord wants to love you to death and kiss you to life."  Less of me, Lord, more of You. In the death of self we find life.  What  joy!  Can we help but wake in the wee hours with praise on our lips, even while the warm wool comforter beckons us back to dream?

We have endless opportunities to lay down self and uplift Jesus.  Ann Voskamp said today that it is in the losing that we win.  In death to self we gain life with Jesus. Truly, dying to self is a daily walk, but there are moments, hours, and surprisingly even days where sweet surrender to the power of Holy Spirit's beckoning Presence is all there is.  Is all we desire.  All He asks for.  All we need.  Less of me, Lord, more of You. 




Counting the gifts today with Ann Voskamp

Sacred Gatherings

We sat in the surgery waiting room in a small circle of 3 then 4.  Brought together for no other reason than the woman in the operating room.  She was daughter, friend, and girlfriend to those of us present.  We talked, stared off into space, checked our phones, read magazines and books.  Time went by painfully slow as we waited and watched the digital board flash green, blue, pink.....in surgery, finishing surgery, in recovery.   Joel and I prayed quietly inside and I took comfort in knowing others had God's ear, including 150 Knee Team members.  I silently wondered where the other two present found their comfort. 

I looked around the large waiting area and noticed to our left a room with glass windows and open doors where at least 20 people crowded together in chairs and on the floor.  They were there when we came in and they were there when we left.  As I studied the faces of young and old I wondered about the person who drew such a crowd. A nurse approached the door and said, "Oh you are all here just for him?!"  A male....that much I knew.  We left with our good news before they received any, I prayed all went well for them too.

The room full of people reminded me of when my older sister, Jo, had a mild stroke.  By the time my husband Joel and I drove the two hours to the hospital that Sunday, her room was filled with people.  Three generations gathered around this 80 year old woman sharing love and laying hands as we prayed over her and waited for the doctors reports.  Stroke is a word we don't like to hear, but the word "mild" softens the blow.  Her amazing recovery testifies to God's healing power in the laying on of hands and strong genetic code that pulses through her body.

I reflected back even farther to another time, when after 6 hours of driving we arrived at a hospital room with loved ones gathered around a bed where upon my mother lay in a coma.  It was near her time to go home with Jesus, and we stood around her in unity while she struggled with what held her earthbound.  Joel leaned in close and told her it was okay to go to the light...go to the light Ann....and then she did.  We gathered three days forward united by family ties, grieving with hope and celebrating a life fully lived.

 Many events bring us together ~ birthdays, weddings, funerals, holidays.  But there is something more that is present in those hospital rooms while waiting...for surgery to end, for doctor's reports to come, for death's last breath and a forever life to begin.  Watching the digital surgical boards, laying hands on a loved one, saying goodbye or celebrating a hello~~there is that something more. For me the waiting holds a sacred quality.  A form of quiet, sometimes unsettled worship knowing the one for whom we gather is not held in our hands but His. 

Joining with Ann Voskamp today over at A Holy Experience.  Counting gifts in the moments of our lives