The Tug-of-War

It has been like Christmas all over again as we recently dug out the gift cards we had received in December!  With so much going on we had put them out of our minds.  One of my favorite places to shop is Amazon and I always ask for gift cards to the online giant.  There were three, plus a couple of restaurants, Fleet Farm, and Target.  What did we do before gift cards?

We shopped in brick-and-mortar stores.  We still do, but sadly, here, so many of our stores have closed.  K-Mart and Sears, JC Penneys, American Eagle, Younkers, 2 Hallmarks, and most recently Shopko joined the "going out of business" train.  Sad.  And yet I have a part in their closings too with my online shopping.  It is a bit of a tug of war, isn't it.  The convenience and cost benefits of online shopping can't be beat, but supporting our local communities is so important too.

Our world, it is a changing.  Technology at it's best and the aftermath of it? Bankruptcies and closings.  There is something to be said for having the item we are looking at in our hands.  Getting a good feel for it, and a good look at what we want to purchase.  That tug-of-war of brick-and-mortar and online shopping.

I chuckle at the fact that you can tithe online, through your church's website.  You can livestream a church service and worship from your living room.  Convenience.  Yet, I argue there is something necessary and special about gathering with other believers in fellowship to worship our Lord. Face to face, interaction with a living human being.  Uniting together to worship in His presence. 

Our relationship with God can be a bit of a tug also.  It is easy to draw near and then far in our daily lives depending on our circumstances.  It is too easy to breathe in and then breathe out in trust, in rest, and in connecting with our Jesus.

How do we embrace the future while holding on to what is important in the past.  How do we keep intimacy in our relationships, when so much communication is online. How do we support our communities while getting the best deal for our money.  How do we stay close to God?   It is a tug-of-war in some ways.  A tug-of-war that involves intentional effort to maintain balance. 

Random thoughts..............

Trimming Trees and Attitudes

I was watching Joel trim trees today as he climbed up a ladder and used his tree trimmer to cut through small branches.  When he could not reach a few higher ones he went upstairs, took the screen off the window and went to work. 

This project was unearthed after last night when we listened to branches rub across the roof as high winds moved everything around that was not tied down.  Today turned out to be a good day to trim away the culprits before they did any damage to the roof or to our sleep pattern.  We kind like the 8 hours of sleep we manage most nights. 

It was mostly an easy fix, but it took effort, especially balancing out the window to get to the higher branches. At least Joel agrees to stay off our steep roof and leave those limbs to the professionals.  We also had someone come aerate our yard recently before Joel put seed down for next year.   It is all part of the fall work.  Soon we will wash windows one last time, mow one last time, and grill one last time before......Before.  Before winter comes knocking on our door.  Winter is not very welcome here by the two of us, but we will tolerate it.  Meanwhile we enjoy the beauty of fall.

Just like the trees, sometimes there are things we need to trim away in our lives.  Maybe it is a mindset.  Maybe it is an attitude.  A grudge.   Unforgiveness. God revealed to me last night that I need an attitude change.  That what is going on for us right now is not about me or us, but for others.  It is not always easy to trim away or remove what Holy reveals to us.   Trimming and cutting away takes some effort, but it is worthwhile o let go and let God. There is "work" to be done to prepare us for a better life, to help us be the best we can be according to God's plan for us and for others.  Today was a good day to trim trees and attitudes. 

God's Mysteries Require No Explanation.

For the past two months I have been having encounters with Holy Spirit which is resulting in more inner and physical healing and most importantly a closer relationship with God.  It is humbling and empowering as Holy Spirit makes His presence known to me in a physical way every day.  Counting it all joy.  I have tried to describe it to a few people, but it has been difficult to explain.

A few days ago while listening to a podcast at a church in CA, the pastor spoke of an amazing encounter he and three friends experienced with angelic presence during a worship and prayer time at church. He went on to say, "What I saw I do not need to explain....I can't really explain it.  It is the mystery of God.  When we talk about these encounters or experiences with God it is important not to try to explain what we do not understand."  Relief settled over me.  The pastor then reminded listeners of the healing of the blind man in the Bible.  The Pharisees heard about the man's healing and  were determined to get an explanation of what had happened.  They spoke to the man who had been blind more than once and even questioned his parents but they refused to talk about it, fearing for their lives.  When the Pharisees questioned the man who had been blind one more time and asked him what had happened he replied, "I don't know.  I only know that I was blind and now I see."   I was blind.  Now. I. see. 

It can be as simple and yet as profound as that. We are one way, encounter God, Jesus, or Holy Spirit, and then we are another way.  Similar to when we become Christians.  We are one way, but when we receive salvation and Holy Spirit comes, everything changes within.  There are mysteries of God we cannot explain, but encountering them does change us.  We cannot really explain the Mystery, so instead of explaining or analyzing, we lift our voices in praise to God, trusting Him in the experience.  Counting it all joy!

You know, sometimes we are frightened or disbelieving when we observe how others experience God's presence if it does line up with our own experiences. It may take us out of our comfort zone or challenge our beliefs. We have observed this at times when sharing Joel's story of overnight healing.  Most people are happy for Joel, but some are weary of us talking about it, even thinking we are bragging...while others try to make it fit into their own experiences.  Recently after Joel shared his miraculous healing with a pastor's wife, she then said, "So what do you attribute to you getting well?  Joel was astounded, but just said one word as explanation.  "Jesus".  Only Jesus.  Counting it all joy.

We are amazed and undone when we open up to the mysteries of God.....and there is such goodness to be found in them.  He has so much to show us, so much to share with us!  Today I have learned through the grace of God that I do not need to explain these personal encounters, just embrace
them.  Live in the mystery, and count it all joy.  When it involves God, the Mystery requires no explanation.


Linking up with Ann today over at A Holy Experience,  counting the gifts and counting it all joy.

What God Requires

In our relationships, do we love other people in their brokenness?  Especially if it involves those who hurt us?  If we did we would then have to accept them where they are.  We would need to forgive them, and if we forgive them then we would not be able to assign blame or hold on to our own hurts that we may feel are justified.  We would have to face our own brokenness.  I acknowledge and sense resistance within myself and others.

And yet this is what God requires of us.

And then there is the difficulty we have in letting others change.  If we have been hurt by someone's words or actions once, twice, even three times, we then see all future encounters with that person from a "guarded" protective perspective. No matter what is said, it is colored by the past.  It can become a "damned if you do or damned if you don't" situation.  They or we never say or do the right thing. Whether it is with a friend, a neighbor, our boss, or our children, it is often difficult to see the change, be the change, or through love, grace, and forgiveness accept and embrace the change.

And yet this is what God requires of us.

Do we try to hide our brokenness from others?  Do we hide it from ourselves by shining a light on the brokenness of others?  Does the shame we feel permeate the atmosphere around us?  And why is it often so much easier to embrace and help strangers in their imperfection than it is to help and embrace those closest to us?  Is it because our own shame, hurt and disappointments get in the way?
Resistance?

And yet this is what God requires of us.

Why is it so easy to point out the sins of others?  Why do we put ourselves on a higher plain judging others in their brokenness, making decisions on what is forgivable based on our own experiences or understanding instead of God's Word.

And yet this is what God requires of us.

Loving and forgiving those who have hurt or disappointed us is not denying their actions, it is being obedient to God.  Being willing to let go of past hurts while opening our hearts to the positive changes in people does not necessarily mean we forget the past, but it does mean in obedience to God we embrace the future with expectancy.  Acknowledging our own brokenness does not shame us, it empowers us. Refusing to judge others from a throne of our own making let's our God be God.

This is what God requires of us.

"Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those

 who trespass against us."

Matthew 6:12

 

~~~~

"So now I am giving you a new commandment: 

Love one another. 

Just as I have loved you, you need to love one another."

John 13:34

Broken Down By Life And Broken Open By God

For everything there is a season

a time for every activity under heaven...

Ecclesiastes 3

I have been struggling for months to write here on my blog...or to express myself in the written word as I have done for so many years.  I have been going through a dry season where life has broken me down.  So many health issues, so many diagnoses, so many worries, so many changes and challenges. 

I have been dealing with stomach issues since the end of January.  I have gone through several doctors appointments and tests to rule out cancer and seek answers.  All tests came back normal which we are so grateful for, yet the stomach keeps complaining!  A month ago I started a new treatment and it was just too much for my body to handle.  I ended up sitting in my recliner or laying in bed, feeling at times like I was dying.  After 3 weeks, I began to function once again at a very low level, but function I am.  Still, the stomach issues continue.  My Lyme doctor believes that one of the co-infections that came with Lyme has entered into the lymph nodes in my stomach and that along with the Lyme have caused me to be unable to digest normally....and nerve pain is now in my stomach too. I could go on, but you get the idea....Not fun and not going away, for awhile at least.

Broken down by a tiny tick.  Broken down by my fears.  Broken down by shattered dreams and expectations.  Broken down physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

I am a person who likes to know what I am dealing with, fix it, and move on.  This is not an easy fix.  There is mystery involved with no rhythm or reason behind the ups and downs of symptoms.  Each day is a surprise and out of my control.  Ahhhh, there is the catch.  Control.... I cannot make it go away. 

God has allowed me to be broken down in order to be broken open.  It is a slow and sometimes painful process.  It is also an opportunity to grow, stretch, and become closer to my Lord Jesus. I am hanging on to His promises and the knowledge that He loves me so much that He would never leave me broken without using it for good and His glory.  He is reshaping me, renewing me, restoring me.  In due time this dry season will produce fruit.

Winter Blues

I just heard on the news that January 17th is the "saddest" day of the year for the general population.  Really?  How do the powers that be know that?  A survey?  A scientific study?  I guess it makes sense that the end of January can be pretty challenging.  Especially if you live in snow country!

As I pondered this news flash, I thought about how easy it is to feel joy and excitement during the holiday season.  Thanksgiving brings a feast and football!  Christmas is a time of more family gatherings and unexpected gifts.  Then we celebrate the end of the year with New Year's Eve and often January 1st finds us making resolutions ~ fresh starts! Yet, by the middle of January, many have become disheartened.  The endless cold weather adds to the discouragement we may feel.  Here in the upper Midwest, we call it the "winter blues".  Maybe even "cabin fever". 

Through the winter blues God lovingly anoints us with many fresh starts that can turn any January sadness into joy!  Each day we open our eyes is a fresh start!  Forgiveness of our sins gives us a new beginning.  The gifts of worship, inspirational music and books, and the gifts of places like Spiritual Sundays are available to help turn our sadness into joy.  The love of family and friends, and God's unconditional love and grace can fill us with so much joy that there is no room for anything else.

When the news tells us we are experiencing the saddest days of the year, don't take their word for it, just lift up your voice in praise and smile.  After all, every day is a new beginning! 


Please join Charlotte and Ginger at Spiritual Sundays to read inspirational posts or link up your own.  www.bloggerspirit.blogspot.com      

Incredibly Human

The other day I was reading a blog and came across the words "incredibly human". I don’t remember the blog, the posting, or even the writer….just the words…incredibly human. They jumped out at me and grabbed my attention at just the right time.
I must confess…..it has been difficult for me to accept myself as I am ~ imperfect. I wanted to be the perfect wife, a wonderful mother, beloved grandmother …..a person who would make a big difference in the world……an INCREDIBLE human being who would be remembered for her goodness and great accomplishments. A bit over the top, right? Still, these were my goals. BUT, alas, I have tasted failure in every area I mentioned ~ more than once. It has been hard to let go of these failures and sometimes I get stuck in the sludge of my own self-criticism.

I have spent a lot of time looking at what it means to be incredibly human. According to my husband, I am good at beating myself up. I like the term incredibly human as it has a place within it for forgiveness, kindness, and understanding. It reminds me that self criticism is self defeating. Because I am incredibly human I am going to make mistakes. Dwelling on my mistakes has at times given me little room to enjoy a full life. It is time to shed that negative pattern of thinking. All I have is the present. I plan to take this “present” ~ this gift of today and clean out the cobwebs of focusing on my life as an imperfect person so I can truly enjoy the life I am living now….as one who is incredibly human while being an incredible human.

I also gave thought what makes someone an incredible human being. I think my definition has been flawed. Always striving to be someone else and not accepting who I am is exhausting! With new insight I believe we are all incredible humans because we have been created in God's image, we are loved, and we have been wonderfully made. These are words we need to wear like a warm blanket.
Incredibly Human + An Incredible Human ~~~A good combination for us to embrace.

Seasonal Changes

I woke up to something new this morning! It's snowing...big fluffy gentle flakes of snow falling from a gray sky. The ground is still too warm, so the snow is melting, but as usual I always enjoy the first snowfall. By the end of January I will be ready for it all to be gone, but for now I am enjoying the new landscape. Our hanging geraniums are still outside my living room window ~ they froze last night and will soon be gone, but today they look pretty with a blanket of snow on them. It is nice to have a fresh view and I look forward to another season~ winter. Kind of like life, too. A change is often what we need to give us a fresh outlook.
I think this is one reason I like the holidays. It is a change, and we can focus on something besides our daily humdrum of living. It is a time to celebrate and give thanks.
Soon we will have a new president. No matter how you voted, it cannot be denied that this is a big change for our country. To be at a place in history where an African-American man can be elected president is a giant step forward. And let us not forget that a woman was also in the running as the first woman vice president. We may need time to really grasp the significance of this, but it does give me hope for our country's ability to truly say and mean that all men(women) are created equal. Having grown up in the 60's, having raised a multi-racial family, and having lived around the country and in a foreign land, I have observed and experienced "secondhand" some of the unhealthy ways people think. I know how important this election is to not only black people but ALL people. We can only hope that this "seasonal change" will unite us.
Today I am enjoying the view once again from my sofa sanctuary. The landscape has changed ~ it is now a view of roofs blanketed with snow and colors turning from vibrant reds to subtle grays~ then in a few months spring returns along with vibrant colors that lead us into summer. The seasonal circle continues.Just like life, the seasons change and I am going to lay back under my Woolie (my wool comforter), and enjoy my view.