Are We There Yet?

 

Anyone who has traveled with children in tow has heard the question at some time....."Are we there yet?  The long hours of a car trip can seem endless......no matter how much time you spend on social media or playing car games.  Yeah.......are we there yet?  

This season of our lives with a pandemic moving like a tsunami into 2022 probably has us saying....Are we there yet?  To the end of this craziness.......are we there yet?  

Today as I still heal from a virus that acts like Covid but tested negative for Covid, I have found myself weary and discouraged.  And today when the wind is blowing, the temperature is dropping, and pandemic and political chaos reigns in our country, the world............I am asking, "Are we there yet?  Is the shift coming?  

This morning when I started to wallow in the weariness of it all, God brought to my mind a few things He has given me in the past......nothing new for 2022......but words from God going back over four years.  

In August 2017 we went to Bethel Church in Redding CA for 10 days.  It was not a conference, or an event, just the two of us stepping into a world we had only experienced from our living room.  And while we were there God blessed us greatly.  He also spoke to us through the prophetic words of two people whom we had never met before, but who shared their gift with others in a structured, prayerful way.   For ten minutes or more they spoke over us and were spot on with what they were saying and they also gave us words for the future.  One person said, "I see you on your hands and knees moving forward.  It is a time of humbling for you.  You have always been strong and independent, relying on yourselves and your abilities and you have a great foundation under you.  But you will need to humble yourselves and depend on God alone.  He will eventually pick you up and you will leave this season behind but during this time, remember the joy of the Lord is your strength.   It was not what we wanted to hear, but it was only a year later that I was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer and the journey has been one we could not do alone ever since. 

A few months after this prophetic word, I  had a vivid dream one night where Jesus said to me, "I am giving you a new car:.  I replied "I don't want a new car.  We love our car."  He said firmly, "I am giving you a new car".  He walked over to the car in my dream and I said, "It looks just like the old car!"  He opened the backseat for me to get it, and then he climbed in behind the wheel and said, "Let Me drive"........

Today I find myself asking Jesus..........."Are we there yet?"  When is this humbling journey coming to an end?  As I look around our country I ask "Are we there yet?"  If you are driving Jesus, are we there yet?  

So what do we do, when we are NOT there yet.  When a pandemic continues to cover us like a tsunami.  When life knocks us around.  What do we do as we sit in the backseat of the car...........We rest.  

God has been highlighting the word rest for me this whole week.  Rest has always been a four letter word that I deeply dislike, basically because I spent so many years sofa bound with Lyme Disease.   But God's word tells us to come to him and rest....and within the word rest are so many other words we need to embrace. I heard yesterday a teaching that stated that rest is relational.  It is really about being in the Presence of God.  Where we trust..............praise........... worship...........have peace........... receive God's love...........and it is in resting that we let Jesus drive the car.   

So on this cold, windy 6th day of January 2022, if you are feeling weary and not feeling the "Yeah, this is a new year"  Whoohoo", I suggest you rest.  It is okay to not be okay, and it is okay to be okay.  Just rest in His Presence.  Receive. Trust.  Praise Him.  And let Jesus drive the car.

It Is Coming, Receive It

I had been journaling with God and sat back and closed my eyes to wait for His response.  I immediately saw myself on my knees.  All around me the ground was burned, blackened from fire and there was a layer of ashes everywhere, some still smoldering.  I heard God say, "I want you to visualize the beauty that will come from theses ashes."  I then saw myself lift my arms up into the air and heard the chorus of the song, "Rise Up".  I then saw myself stand up with my arms in the air, giving thanks to God.  

I have been praying Isaiah 61:3 lately, asking God for beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of heaviness.  The beauty for ashes has laid on my heart as a reminder that God does just that.  He turns ashes into beauty.  Have you felt the heaviness of our country, our world weighing you down?  In many respects this is a season of mourning, even despair for people, and sometimes ashes.  But God.   God promises to the city of Zion..........and to all of His children...........beauty for ashes.

There are many circumstances in our lives and the lives of those we know and care about that give us the need to hold tight to His promise.  There are situations with people we don't even know that need God placed right in the center, right now.  Is there anything you need God to bring beauty from?  Is there joy needed to replace your mourning?  Do you need a garment of praise covering you to replace the spirit of heaviness?  Yeah..........me too.

God's promises are for today.  Bring it on God!  That beauty for ashes, that joy, that praise that can clothe us.  Bring it on God!  I receive it.  We receive it.   We rise up from the ashes and receive the beauty coming.  It is coming.  Receive it.

My Papa God Is Bigger

"Faith does not deny a problem's existence, 

it denies the problem a place of influence."

Bill Johnson

Problems can appear so BIG.  They can be so BIG!  And so often I find myself telling God and anyone who will listen just how big my problem is.......when I need to remember and declare to my problem and to myself and others just how BIG my GOD is!  He is definitely bigger than any problem.

Recently  I heard Pastor Bill Johnson from Redding CA talk a bout a friend of his who was going through a terrible situation.  One day he placed two chairs facing each other and he invited the devil to sit in one chair and he sat in the other.  He then, said to the devil..."You are going to sit here and listen to me praise God. You are going to hear how faithful, good, and kind my God is!"  This man made the decision to focus on God and His goodness in the midst of, and despite his circumstances.

I would imagine the devil hates to hear us praising God.  Yes, I am sure of it.  I would expect God loves to hear our praises to Him.  It says in scripture that He inhabits our praises!  And I know that when we give thanks and praise, focusing on God and not our, at times, enormous circumstances, we find a sense of peace in the midst of it all. Praise is an offering for what we know to be true according to God's Word, even in the midst of hardship and loss.  It builds our faith.  As Bill Johnson said, faith does not deny our problem but it denies it a place of influence.


I am good at visualizing.  God has given me a gift of "seeing" in the spirit realm.  Sometimes that gift turns against me when I visualize worst-case scenarios.  And let me tell you, I am good at that IF I listen to the lies of the enemy.  I decided to do what Bill Johnson's friend does and put two chairs together.  I put my "circumstances" on the chair and I speak to it of God's goodness, faithfulness, healing power.  Funny thing about that........when you speak to your circumstances, or the enemy, you are also speaking to yourself.  You shift your focus and it shifts your perception. 

I have one family member who finds bedtime challenging at times because worry likes to visit.  This person has learned to pray the Lord's Prayer over and over and recently added singing "This Little Light of Mine" until sleep comes.  What a wonderful example of shifting the focus to WHO is this person's LIGHT....making God bigger than the problem!

It is not always easy, but it is possible.  Whether we put two chairs together and speak to the circumstance, whether we poke the devil in the eye with our praise, whether we sing a sweet yet powerful song over our worry, the result is the same.  God becomes bigger, things shift,  and peace flows. 

The Vein Whisperer

We were in the infusion center at the cancer center last night.......quietly praying as a nurse tried to get an IV line into my rebellious vein.  This journey with cancer has brought with it veins that don't want to give blood and even collapse at times.  The nurse tried, I gritted my teeth as she attempted.....but the vein collapsed so she had to start over.  She said, "You know, I am going to have A. come and do this.  She is really good at working with unruly veins."  And A. was.  She found a vein she liked, and quickly without pain got the IV line placed.  I received the first of a week's daily IV antibiotic injections and we were home by 6:15pm.  They work late at the Cancer infusion center.  When A. left our area, Joel said to me, "She is a vein whisperer...  she knows how to talk to the veins and get them to cooperate!"  She definitely had a gift and was using it to help others.

I have heard of horse whisperers.........even dog whisperers......but a vein whisperer was a new one.  I just love how God is in the midst of our circumstances.  He even provides the right nurse in a difficult situation.

Last Friday I saw the oncologist and because of how weak I was and the low white count, he did a few cultures.  Blood and urine....and an x-ray.  The urine showed two different bacteria growing so thus the IV antibiotics.  I was taken off the treatment pills, but given the monthly injections.  We have seen a bit of improvement with my energy.  I am now able to dress daily and get my own breakfast.  It was that bad.  I still nap twice a day and sleep 10 hrs at night, but then again, I am trying to heal from a surgery that went wrong, two bacterial infections, and I am fighting cancer,  Off the Verzenio I can taste food again, am not nauseated, and a bit stronger.  I expect I will go back on tomorrow, but we will see what the doctor has to say.

We feel like our cancer center here is a real gift.  The staff is helpful, kind, and very efficient.  Dr. Singh is treating my whole body which we feel is so important.  Yeah.  In the midst of this awful journey, we are blessed.

A song that has come to my attention is giving us hope and courage for each day. It is sometimes an effort and a sacrifice of praise we raise, but there is always  a blessing to be found.  Always a reason to give praise.    We are raising a song of praise for a "vein whisperer" today!  The song was created when a young boy at Bethel Church in Redding CA was fighting for his life a year ago.  I remember it well.  A powerful miracle saved this young child and the world rejoiced as the enemy was defeated!
I hope you enjoy it.............

1 1 3

I was laying in bed this morning "worry meditating" over all that would be going on in the next 48 hours.  For some reason I tend to believe the lie that I can control what will happen and how it will happen with my worrying.  I don't like to not have everything in place.  I don't like surprises, but the journey the past two months has been filled with surprises of the not so good kind.  While going over and over things in my mind, I saw the numbers 1 1 3.  They stood out clearly.  My thought was, that is a Bible chapter, so it must be a Psalm because you can't find 113 in any other book of the Bible that I was aware of.

Later when I was worry meditating once again, I remembered the number and looked it up.  Psalm 113 is a psalm of praise to our Lord.  Praise Him and praise Him again.

"Hallelujah!  Praise the Lord!

Go ahead, praise the Lord.

All you loving servants of God!  'Keep it up!  Praise Him some more!

For the glorious name of the Lord is

Blessed forever and ever.

from sunrise brilliance to sunset beauty

Lift up his praise from dawn to dusk!"

Psalm 113: 1-3  Passion Translation

Sunday night we went to a city-wide worship at the large Lutheran Church here in town where people from several denominations gathered to sing praise and Christmas songs together.  It was wonderful and while there a pastor from a church we once attended came and prayed for me a powerful Holy Spirit led prayer.  It was just what I needed.  Thank you Jesus. 

Two hours later while at home my eyes started acting funky.  I began seeing zig-zag colored lights shimmering and moving and they took up the right side of my vision.  Then faces on the TV became distorted so I could only see fractured faces.  It was scary.  This lasted about 20 minutes and then disappeared.  Monday we headed to the eye clinic for a thorough exam.......was it the retinas?  Was it a blood clot?  Was it from the antibiotic I am on, the eye injections, or the cancer drugs?  We don't know the answers concerning the meds, but they were able to rule out the retinas or blood clots, so are calling it an "ocular migraine" without a pain.  I did have a slight headache afterwards.  One more surprise that I did not need at this time of so many things on my plate. Seriously?  Needless to say this event worked to take away the beauty of the earlier event.

Today God brought my focus back on worship and praise.  Praising Him in the midst of it all.  Praising Him for being in control when I am not.  Praising this God of ours who is a miracle making mountain moving God who walks with us every step of the way through the valleys.  Through the lows and the highs.

It is not easy, this sacrifice of praise.  It may not change my circumstances, and it maybe won't change yours, but it does shift our focus off of it all and on to the Lord our God and in praising God something does shift.  Inside of us.  God's purpose for praise is not just for His glory....to pat Him on the back.  His purpose is for us to see His glory and the power of His love for us, His kids.  Praise is a weapon of warfare in a world where Satan works hard to destroy our relationships with our Lord. Praise shifts the atmosphere around us and in us, loosing fear and worry tentacles and kicking them out and filling us with God's peace no matter what we are walking through.  Again, I will say it is not easy, but it is possible.

So today as I prep for surgery, and tomorrow as I go through the tube insertion and then surgery, and as I recover I will be praising my God.  For His grace provides.  His love covers.  His hands heal.  I pray that this day, this week you find yourself praising God for His goodness in the midst of life and whatever circumstances come your way.   It is how we connect with God.  It is how we shift the atmosphere....... It is how we fight our battles.............

Warring Sandals and Words of Praise

I woke up with a feeling of anxiety anchored  right in the pit of my stomach.  When did I let go of my peace?  That is a question Pastor Bill Johnson asks himself when he feels any anxiety or undo stress.  Where did I leave my peace?  Anxiety and fear are really the enemy's tools to keep us separated from God, the Lord of Peace and Truth.

I sat quietly with Joel that morning and waited for God......immediately I heard a melody in my head but I could not come up with one word of the lyrics.  I hummed the melody to Joel and he came up with one word.....Lord.  Then eventually  a phrase...."Lord, listen to your children praying..."  With the help of google we came up with an old 70's song........

I closed my eyes again and saw on my feet, unusual sandals.  I asked Him what kind of sandals they were and heard the word "warring".  I then saw a sword in my hand, that turned into a Bible.  The pages of the Bible were turning on their own by a wind.....a Spirit wind I expect.  I heard "Jeremiah" and then "33".  I don't often get scriptures this way, but Joel and I read chapter 33 that morning and I am spending time meditating and studying the chapter and what God wants me to learn from it. I expect it has something to do with the words that jumped out at me in verse 11...."Praise GOD........"  and "sacrifice of praise".  

I confess that part of me wants to say, "enough already"!  Enough with the warring and the praise...but evidently I am still to use praise as a weapon of warfare in my current circumstances.  Get my focus off the problem and on to the solution.  Our Lord really has supplied so many tools for us to walk through life and praise is one mentioned over and over in the Bible.  

I have been reading Ana Werner's new book, "Seeing Behind The Veil" this week.  She mentions often the importance of praise and worship.  It seems to shake up the enemy and his crew of vultures when we praise the name of our God most high.  He hates it.  Not only does it have a devastating affect on Satan but it also centers us as we remember how great is our God!

In some ways, everything we do or say can be a form of worship.  Whether we are taking care of our family, working at a computer, teaching students, sweeping floors, or giving a sermon, we are God's hands and His voice.  We are honoring Him in all we do.  A form of worship and praise.  

So let's just praise the Lord......life our voice to heaven and praise the Lord in gratitude. Another old worship song!   Jeremiah spoke God's words in chapter 33...

" .......the voice of those who will say,

Praise the Lord of hosts

foe the Lord is good

And His mercy endures forever.

and those who will bring the sacrifice of praise 

into the house of the Lord......."

Jeremiah 33:11

A Little Country, A Little Rock and Roll

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a little bit country, and a little bit rock and roll when it comes to the music that touches my heart.  Of course, number one for me is worship and praise music.  So when I can combine worship and praise with country or rock and roll, I am all in.

Lately I have been more than a little challenged by fear as I manage the strange moving strobe lights that appear in my vision when I am in any kind of bright light.   So, when in need of shifting my focus I put worship music on our Bose speaker (from the kids).

This song has been at the top of my list.  I can't seem to hear enough of it.  I told Joel I was   wondering how I could incorporate this song into my funeral when the times comes.  It is for freedom that Christ set us free!

Anyone else feel in need of a good reminder of God's faithfulness?  A reminder of the freedom we have in Jesus Christ, a reminder that victory is already ours.  Eternal life is ours as Christians. 

Each of us have our own kind of worship music that lifts our spirits and touches our souls.  It may be a hymn, a praise song from the 70's or a worship song from today's vast choice of Christian songs.  It all works.  Even when it is a little bit country or a little bit rock and roll.  T!he message is the same.  Jesus is with us, He is faithful, He died for us, He set us free!   Hallelujah !!

A Steady Diet

When we were staying at the home of Bethel members in Redding CA, the hosts would have beautiful worship music on their TV flooding the house.  Our room was right up front, a sunroom made into a lovely bedroom, so we could hear the music by Julie True ~ so soft and soothing. 

Worship music that soothes and relaxes.  Joel listens to  "elevator music" whenever he is in the office working.  I decided since he is much more relaxed than me, I need to take his advice and find my own ways to bring peace into my days.

I love Bethel music but a steady diet of it is not relaxing.  I love Julie True, but a steady diet of it keeps me from getting things done.  I guess it is a lot like other things in our lives.  For instance, pancakes!  I love almond flour pancakes with almond butter, fresh strawberries and blueberries and topped with coconut whipping cream.  A steady diet of it would take my apple shape to a whole new level.  I like reading and watching murder mysteries, but a steady diet of them would have me jumping at every noise I hear.

There are a few things we do need a steady diet of.......you know where I am going here. We need a steady diet of God's Word, prayer, worship, and interaction.  We need a steady diet of Papa God in our lives, nourishing us.  Yes. 

A daily diet of picking up the love story that God wrote and fills our heart.  Do you remember writing or receiving love letters to or from someone special?  They warmed our hearts and put a smile on our face.  Well, God's Word is filled with love letters to His kids.  They touch our hearts, change our lives.

A daily diet of giving our Creator thanks and praise.  Praise is a way to communicate with our Father.  It is a weapon of warfare.  It shifts the atmosphere around us and in us.

A daily diet of prayer.  Talking to our God about all our needs, desires, dreams, hopes, and listening.  Quietly listening and looking for Him to show up.  He is always communicating with us, we just need to tune in.  Ask, seek, and you will find. 

A daily diet of worship.  Lifting our voices, our hearts, our eyes to our God.  It takes the focus off our our circumstances and on to the One who Heals, Saves, Loves. 

A daily intentional stepping into a relationship with Him.  He is always with us.  He lives IN us for Heaven's sake.  Well, really for our sake.  Share with Him just like you do your spouse or loved ones.  Let Him love on you...........

This is the kind of steady diet we need to be nourished ~ body, soul and spirit. 

Warfare Worship

This morning as I quietly mediated an angel appeared in my mind.  He was big and powerful and barefoot!  He turned around and began walking with purpose down a hallway.  As he walked he pushed with his right hand on a door to the right flinging it open to reveal bright light that hurt the eyes.  He continued forward and pushed open another door revealing the same light, and then yet a third where he stopped and stood quietly.

As he opened these doors I walked behind him and at the first door I stood and lifted my hands and said one word......Hallelujah.  At the second door I again stopped and lifted my arms and said, "We praise you Jesus".  At the third door the light was so so brilliant and powerful I got down on my knees and gave thanks.  I heard the words, "Worthy is the Lamb! Worthy is the Lamb!"  The angel then disappeared.

Over the past few months the concept of praise being a mighty weapon of warfare has continued to "hound" me.  In devotionals, on Facebook, during Bethel teachings, and as of late, in Havilah Cunnington's new book "Stronger Than the Struggle" due for release on January 9th.  Havilah is a leader, teacher, and pastor at Bethel Church and School, and I am part of her large book launch team,  I am enjoying very much an e-copy of the book. One thing she talked about "warfare-worship" and it certainly resonated within me.  Today's meditation during my quiet time only affirms to me the need for praise and worship.

Here is an idea (not mine)!  Everything we do is a form of worship to our Lord if we release it all to him.  From the mundane to the miraculous we worship our creator with our words and actions.  OR...we do not.  There are only two choices.   Besides the mundane or the miraculous, there are times we need worship to be a form of warfare.

When we were at Bethel and received the prophetic words at our private personal session, one of the people asking God for words for us told us that when mountains come to us (and we all face them ) we will laugh with joy when we stand before them BECAUSE we know what is coming.  We know that God's promises to us are on the other side.  We laugh because the joy of the Lord is our strength.  I confess that this year has sometimes been difficult for us with a few health mountains, and, too, the struggle to know where we belong.  My first reaction is not always to laugh with joy.  It is not to praise.  My words and actions do not always proclaim how good my God is.  Guess that makes me pretty human.   

But if praise is a weapon of warfare....if warfare-worship holds the power it did for Jehoshaphat to win a battle against many forces and for Jacob to break down the walls of Jericho, we best take notice.  If God tells us to intentionally worship and praise, we best be obedient.  "Praise is the highway to the throne of God".

Worship positions us for intimacy with God.  Worship positions us to keep our focus on the One, while doing battle because the Lord does fight for us.  Sometimes we are told to stand firm, sword in hand, alert and courageous in the battle with the enemy.  Sometimes we are told to rest and trust Him to fight for us.  Sometimes we are told to praise him, doing warfare-worship by lifting our voices, our hearts in praise to the One.  For, as I was told this morning....worthy is the Lamb!  Worthy is the Lamb!!!

WOWs

The dream was strange, to say the least.........but the message that came to me in the early morning hour was clear.  In the dream I was trying to find our grandson Noah.  I had been searching and searching to no avail.  Worry and fear set in,  and I decided to call a friend of his named Sosh.  I know, an usual name....The young man answered his phone with one word, "Sosh", and I told him I was Noah's grandmother and I was looking for him.  I lamented about what I had done while looking for him and how worried I was.

As I spoke, I noticed a cloud to my right and with every negative or fearful thing I said, a -$25 sign popped up.  Sosh was quiet but when spoke, all he said was "Wow" and again, "Wow".  With every "WOW" he said, a cloud appeared and a + $50 sign popped up.

Awakened by the dream, I lay in the dark and I thought about the meaning.  My dreams are unusual and sometimes disturbing, but this one held a message for me.  One I have been learning for a few years now.

It is the whole business of our thought life and what we say ~ We speak life or death with our tongue.......Proverbs 18:21.  Our words and our thoughts hold tremendous power over our lives and the lives of others.  Just ask any adult who suffered from childhood verbal abuse.  Words matter.  I believe the dream was telling me that when I speak fear or any other negative words, it takes away from the goodness God desires for His kids.  And when I speak  God's truth with awe and wonder...the "WOWs" of life and God, we are all more empowered.

The "WOW" word took me back to what had been spoken over us at Bethel......the words so powerful and personal that all Joel and I could say was...."wow"......"Oh, wow".......   Sometimes when we look at God's deep love and goodness for us, all we can do is be humbled and amazed....words just won't come except maybe just a "WOW". 

Are there times in your life when the "WOW" brings you to your knees in thankfulness?  Just this year I think of many, like my sister's recovery from a heart attack and 6 bypasses.  So many small but important things fell into place for her to live and not die.   Wow.  I think about our trip out west....so often we were amazed by the beauty set before us.  Joel told me I said wow often when we drove through the majestic mountains.   While sitting under the people and Presence at Bethel Church, we gave thanks repeatedly. Wow.  Wow again.  The things God shows me in the spirit realm....wow.  Even our new-to-us SUV that Joel has often said "Wow" about.  So grateful to drive such a nice vehicle.  Yeah.....the list of "WOWs" is long and appreciated.

The dream brought to light a gentle reminder to keep my thoughts and my words in the life column. Building a firm foundation on the goodness of God in our lives one "WOW" at a time.  It adds up.  Maybe not in dollars like I saw in the dream, but in living a full life~ definitely!

A Highway of Praise

It is no secret that I struggle with what appears to be the endless need for medical intervention in my life.  I have never liked going to doctors, and am often irritated when they are necessary.  My first choice is healing through prayer, then essential oils, and as a last resort I walk through the doors of the medical world.  The past two years I have had more than my share of people in white coats poking and probing and giving me reports I do not want to hear.  I am not sure why the world of doctors is traumatic for me, I expect it could be unraveled somewhere within.

So when I had to have a biopsy for a spot on my back, anxiety flared.  The results were good.....on the edge, but still good.  Still, I needed a surgical excision, so on Wednesday I had "more" removed around the spot.  We were surprised that such a small area is now a 3 inch incision with 7 stitches.  They needed to make sure that there were no more severe dysplastic cells left. Even those words sound menacing, don't they.

I believe that this "next thing" I went through is covered by the same verse that God has given me so many times. (28+)

"The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."

 It is also the reason that God gave me a flurry of devotionals and quotes about praise early this week.  Praise has the power to heal, to keep our eyes on Jesus, and to fight Satan's desire for destruction in our world......in our bodies/ Seriously, I know that sometimes a cold is just a cold, but sometimes the enemy uses sickness and disease to discourage and destroy God's children.  Praise and worship is a good weapon of warfare.  Evangelist Ruth Heftin said, "A voice of praise is always a voice of victory.  That is why the enemy hates it when we praise."

Praise is not only a weapon, it is a place we rest.  This praise, is a place of remembering who God is and how much He loves and fights for us,  It is where we can take a deep breath and just lean back into our Papa God's arms no matter what is going on around us.  I cherish these moments, while declaring this place will be a way of living for me, for all of us.

This procedure and results may seem minimal to you readers, and it has been expressed that way to me.  At first my response was that maybe this person has not walked in my shoes.  Then shame surfaced.  I could list a number of reasons and even excuses for the anxiety I have felt again in the past week.  I won't.  I also refuse to carry the shame that surfaces when fear rises.  They both are a lie from the enemy.  I will instead share honestly my continual journey with releasing fear and rising from those ashes into a spirit of power, love, and sound mind.  Transforming the mind.

God wants us to live a life connected to Him and His promises, so he provides the way for us to live in victory.  Praise is one of the ways Jesus has called me to counter the fear I feel in this area of my life.  And in praise I encounter God!  We all do.  Praise becomes worship, and worship brings us into the Presence. And in the Presence we find rest, trusting the One who is trustworthy.  We praise you Jesus that you are with us, in us, around us.  We praise you Jesus as our Healer, our Provider, our Protector. We praise you Jesus, we love you Jesus. Oh yes we do!

I love using music to praise God....Worship music that touches the soul, whether it be hymns,  praise music, or the latest from Hillsong or Bethel, which is where I lean mostly.  Praising through music creates worship and worship is a way to be intimate with God.  According to Ruth Heftin worship brings His glory~ His presence in many ways.  "Glory is to Heaven's atmosphere the way air is to earth's atmosphere."

Another form of praise is in prayer.....and using a prayer language if you have one.  Speaking in tongues edifies us and builds us up.  It also connects our spirit to God's in love and worship.

It is no secret that sometimes a person just does not feel like praising God and that is okay.  I will say though, that if God wants praise from us, it will only benefit us if we are obedient in giving Him praise.  Even if it is a sacrifice of praise like the Bible mentions.  It becomes a way of life, and the side effects of praise are all good!!

Yesterday I read from Dr. Brian Simmons a great Facebook "whisper" that mentioned being on a "Highway of Praise".  Can't you just visualize that?!  I love it.  We walk through life on a highway of praise.  What a wonderful way to live in His presence.  Praise is one of the keys that brings us into relationship with God in the now.  There is nothing more we really need beyond that, is there. Intimacy with our Papa God brings us into a beautiful relationship with the Him, and having a relationship with Papa, enables us to abandon ourselves to trusting the One who is trustworthy, no matter the circumstances.

He Is Risen!

"As air is in the atmosphere of the Earth, 

glory is in the atmosphere of Heaven.  

It lifts us above the earthly, 

into the very presence of God."

Ruth Heflin

Yesterday was a beautiful day here in our corner of the world.  The sun was shining, the skies were blue and it was warm enough to open doors and windows, as we welcomed in the fresh Spring air.  It was also Easter Sunday, for Christians who celebrate our risen Savior.  Oh Jesus......we love you!

Our youngest daughter and her son went with us to church where we worshiped with friends and raised our hands in praise and gratefulness for God's goodness.  Praising God.......Worshiping our Lord from a place of victory, embracing His presence ~His glory....rejoicing in His eternal gift to us.  Amazing grace.

Sarah and Jonas

Papa and Gr. Na

Yesterday's "He is Risen" service reminded me of a book I recently began reading.   A book by Ruth Heflin, titled "Glory:  Experiencing the Atmosphere of Heaven".  It came about because I have been seeking answers to define more clearly the glory of God.  How do we experience it?  Exactly what is it?  I was reading a book by one of my favorite authors and this woman's name came up.  I googled her, found out she had written several books on God's glory, and the rest is history.

Ruth Heflin was a woman evangelist who did a great deal of teaching on praise and worship.  She makes several great statements in her book.  She believes that the greatest instrument of praise we have is our voice.  That there is greater change that comes about through worship than through any other means.  When we praise God it becomes a time of worship and worship opens the doors to His powerful Presence.  His glory.

For each one of us it may be expressed a bit differently, but the Bible tells us consistently that we need to praise God.  Scriptures tell us that praise is a powerful tool of warfare, that praise opens the doors to God's Presence.  The Psalms are full of praise!  Praise puts our focus on God and off of ourselves.  It reminds us of His goodness.  Praise ~ Worship ~ His Glory....His Presence.

Not only on Easter, but every day of the year, let us give thanks and PRAISE our Lord Jesus!  Lets praise and worship Him, and as you do so, receive His Presence and glory in you....in the room...in the sanctuary.  His is Risen!!

What A Beautiful Name It Is

Sunday Pastor Bill Johnson shared a personal story about his son Brian during his sermon.  When Brian was around 10 he would consistently have night terrors.  He would often climb into bed with his parents and Bill would speak over him, pray for him, comfort him.  He told Brian there were 4 ways to fight the spiritual warfare coming against him in the middle of the night.  1. Fight back with the name of Jesus. 2. Fight back with the blood of Jesus.  3. Speak God's Word over the circumstance.  4. Praise God.  (the enemy hates praise).  One night Brian did not come into their room and the next day Bill asked his son if he slept well without any night terrors.  Brian said no, but he had asked God for a verse to speak over the terrors and God gave Him one.  Brian learned to use those tools for himself and the night terrors were resolved.

Jesus ~~Savior.  Healer. Friend.  Protector. Son.  The Way * the Truth * the Life. What a beautiful name it is!   I have spoken the name of Jesus as a prayer on those occasions that I cannot sleep at night....when anxiety or a wired mind has me tossing.  I breathe in Jesus and I breath out stress.....when I breathe in I say "JESUS"  when I breathe out I exhale anxiety.  95% of the time I fall asleep.  Speaking the blood of Jesus for protection comforts me.  And I know His Word is mighty to proclaim.  Praise.....well it not only causes the enemy to run, but it fills me with joy and connects me to God.  Now if I could just remember to use these tools all the time!

I remember a story that was told about a mom who was having stomach pain.  It was pretty bad and as she lay on the sofa, her little 3 year old son came over to her, laid his hand on her tummy and said. Mommy's owies, Jesus.  Gone.  I can't help but smile when I write this.....of course her pain left.  Her child had believed, prayed with child like faith, and his mommy was healed.  Bless his little heart!

Quite a while ago my friend called me while she was traveling through crowded Phoenix.  One of her children noticed her sister was not responding well, a sign of seizures coming.  We prayed together while on the phone.  Later she called me and shared that she had felt they were to sing praises.  So they all began to praise God and sing songs of praise over her little one. Quickly she was was back to being alert and the potential for a seizure was gone.  Praise is a weapon of warfare and believe me when I say, sickness and disease is a weapon the enemy brings against us.  God provides weapons, powerful weapons for us to use against him and here is an example of praise as one of those weapons. The victory in Jesus is always ours!

One morning recently I woke from a bad dream.....it had been going on for several hours so I started to think about what it meant.  I whispered, "The circumstances need to change, Lord.  Healing is provided."  A voice, His voice spoke back to me as I drifted off......"my child, pay attention to what I say...."

"My child, pay attention to what I say,  

listen carefully to my Words.  

Don't lose sight of them.

Let them penetrate deep into your heart 

 For they are life to those who find them 

and healing to their whole body."

Proverbs 4: 20-23

The Word is LIVING. POWERFUL. So is the name of JESUS.  The Bible tells us we speak life or death with our words...........Jesus tells us , "I have come to give you life and to give it to you more abundantly".

Yesterday I wrote about the weapons of warfare God provides.  Today it is still on my mind.   Are you in need of a few weapons of warfare?  Life throwing challenges your way?  Fear taking up residence?  Discouragement heavy like a yoke on your shoulders?

Turn to the weapons provided.....His WORD, His name, JESUS, His BLOOD, the action of PRAISE!  Add these to your arsenal along with Ephesians 6.....and victory is yours.

 "Mommy.  Owie.  Jesus.  Gone.

It Could Be Worse

With all the latest technology at our beck and call, we had known about the coming ice storm practically before it formed.  For days we were told to prepare for a major ice, sleet, rain, and snow event. We watched it raise havoc across the plains with damage to trees, property, and human life.

We did what we could to get ready......enough water~ ck.  candles~ ck.  bananas~ck.  (ok, that may sound weird but we get a bit crabby when we are out of bananas!) We planned on not leaving the house on Monday and settled in for the wait.

 For us the freezing rain started after midnight and continued.....and continued....until late Monday night.  It could be worse.  The roads are thick with ice and standing water in places too.  All schools cancelled.  No travel unless necessary.  Still, it could be worse.  We did not lose power in town, there was little wind and under an 1/8 inch of ice I think, so the branches are still all attached to the trees!

It could have been worse.  I think this is a phrase that somehow brings comfort to us..........whether in a ice storm or a storm of circumstances.  Things could be worse.  And I just need to say it.........things could be better too. And how about the phrase, "It is what it is".  I find those five words to be depressing for me.  When hit hard with a storm in life I don't want to hear or find myself saying, "It is what it is."  Back to the storms..............

Just how do we prepare for the storms in life?  The kind that make us weak in the knees.  Unfortunately, we often do not have prior warning of what is coming.  Something blindsides us.  Smack.  So it might just be a good idea to always be prepared for the storms.  Not in a fatalistic way, nor expecting the worst....but just knowing that the enemy would like nothing better than to hit us hard and lay us flat.  He works at it, believe you me.

So we prepare ahead of time.  We put on the full armor of God.

1.  Helmet of Salvation ~ ck.  We take care of that need for salvation.  Eternal life is ours!
2.  Breastplate of Righteousness~ ck.  We know we are sons and daughters of the KING!
3.  Belt of Truth ~ ck.  We wear it to hold everything up.  The Truth....His Truth!
4.  Shoes of Peace, Good news~ ck.  Where does our peace come from?  From Jesus and His Word.
5.  Shield of Faith ~ ck.  Keep it with you at all times....stopping the fiery arrows of the devil.
6.  Sword of the Spirit ~ ck.  His Word is powerful....Use it like a weapon!
7.  Prayer ~ ck.  Pray without ceasing.......
8.  Adding to the list..........Rest.~ ck.  Stay calm and let Him fight for us!!

These weapons prevent, prepare, protect.

And lets not forget the name of Jesus........the blood of Jesus........Scriptures declared.......and Praise!  All of this helps us be ready for the storms that come............or try to come against us.  God has not left us vulnerable.  No, He has not.  He has given us ways to prepare and stand firm and He fights for us. It could be worse.........and with the list above it will be a whole lot better!!!

"We Have Arrived In Hell"

In the winter of 2015 we took our first trip to Arizona.  A blizzard forecast for the mountains directed us farther south so we drove along the border, came up through Tucson and stopped in Arizona City where we visited friends Lyn and Marie.  When leaving their home away from home we got lost and ended up on a road to nowhere......surrounding us was nothing but desolate land.  Isolated and empty flat desert and more desert.   I remember turning to Joel and saying, "We have arrived in hell."

It is what I imagined hell to be like.  Desolate.  Empty.  Barren.  It came to mind today while thinking about where I had found myself the past three weeks.  All because of one decision.

The decision we had made resulted in me stepping into a deep cavern, a black hole, bottomless and sucking every dream, hope, and promise in to it.  There was good to come from this, but I could not get past what I saw as loss.  I grieved.  My body felt weighed down as a spirit of heaviness enveloped me.   I was two weeks into living in the barren desert of my emotions, when I identified it. Depression.  It stunned me. Everything an effort, tears washing my face, heart hurting.  Silence welcoming while at the same time deafening.  Frozen in place with graceful movements an effort.

I tried to focus on the family coming.  Thanksgiving was a bit of a reprieve, we do love being with our family. I thought I was pulling it off, the "everything is great" act until our oldest asked a question...."Are you happy, Mom?"  I had to think about it.  I paused and took a breath and replied..."Most of the time...." I knew as soon as I said it aloud that it echoed false.  I was not happy. Guilt crept in.

How can I not be happy!?!  I recovered from surgery, radiation is mostly a thing of the past.  My latest mammogram was good......I can see well now with cataract surgeries long behind me.  So much to be thankful for.....and yet.......I. want. more.  I want to see what I have been believing for. What we have been believing for.   I sense it so close, but I do not see it.  I see it not.

How can we not be happy?  Joel has fill-in work.  He is well liked in the pulpit and likes to be there, so there is enough Sunday preaching, he helps others out, it helps us financially.  Still, we. want. more.  This is not what we planned. We planned to be desert birds, or at least snow birds.  More importantly we planned for  a new adventure with God.  And we believed from what we were told and felt, that God had a new purpose awaiting us.  Weary of chair sitting we long for more.  Lately it had not seemed possible.  Not one promise of God is empty of power,  but I had forgotten that.

A perfect storm of circumstances and more had come together, releasing a deep spirit of heaviness over me.  In my mind this one decision was erasing our future dreams and God's promises. I found myself on that desert road to nowhere.  So many tears, so much sadness.  I was surprised by my reactions.   Here's the thing, though. My response opened my eyes....our eyes......because I usually don't experience depression...situational for a day or two, but nothing like the hopelessness that filled me.

I expect some would have said, "Suck it up buttercup" or "think positive".  "If you have Jesus than you can't be depressed."  "Be thankful!"  But Joel said to me, "It is okay, how you feel. Just feel it, walk through it, and it will pass."  Thank you, Joel.  For your prayers, your loving support,  and your wisdom.

Recognizing the heaviness for what it was, I started seeking insights from God ~ everything rang hollow.  But then an online friend, Michelle, who often speaks out prophetically,  posted something on Facebook that had my full attention.  She wrote (in general) that through the struggles, pain, exhaustion, tears, sorrow, etc. God has great plans for you.  Even if nothing makes sense, remember that God has great plans for you!  Simple and straightforward, for me it was profound and as I read it once, then twice ~  a weight began to gently lift off of me. A light began to appear.......so I asked God for more, but silence echoed.   Then a couple of days later while resting, His response washed over me with the words of Dr. Simmons in a Passion Translation prophesy,  and in God's written Word. "Praise Me.  Praise releases breakthrough. Praise.....praise....praise..."  In obedience we began to praise Him.

"To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion,

 to give them beauty for ashes,

 the oil of joy for mourning,

the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; 

that they might be called tress of righteousness, 

the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified"

Isaiah 61:3

We began to praise God, as Ann Voskamp tells her readers, by giving thanks for every gift in every moment.  It has not been easy for me, I admit, but it is releasing breakthrough.  And that decision?   I laid it at God's feet again and again as needed, and over the course of a few days He closed the door.  We released it to the One we can trust, praised God for His goodness,  and He closed the door.  We both now feel a sense of peace about it and God is replacing the spirit of heaviness with joy as we trust and praise Him.

Going through this valley of darkness opened my eyes to some vulnerable thinking, some "lies" I was believing.  It also opened my eyes to trusting not only God, but the gift of discernment He has blessed me with.  This experience has helped me to recognize once again that even in the desert when it feels like we have arrived in Hell, we are never alone.  Oh, friends, I hope this resonates for some of you as you read my words.  We are never alone.  We can give praise for that, can't we.  We can give praise for so many things.  Wearing a garment of praise is so much better than carrying around a spirit of heaviness.

The "Eyes" Have It!

There has been quite a bit of drama here in our small corner of the world regarding my eyes.  A week ago I went in for a check up, planning on setting up cataract surgery and hearing that I would be able to get off of the glaucoma eye drops.  It did not happen.

In fact, the eye specialist was surprised to see that my eye pressure was higher than ever and it appeared the laser surgery last fall only worked a short while.  He talked to us about me seeing a glaucoma specialist and having surgery to put drainage tubes into my eyes.  We were stunned to say the least.  He said he wanted me to come back in a week to have a recheck before we proceeded with the options he laid before us.

It was also a stressful time because one of the staff put the wrong drops in my eyes and to counter the affects, they put steroid drops in my eyes twice and then more drops to dilate.  Then my corneas were scratchy and rough from all the drops so I went home with refresh drops to put in my eyes every hour for a couple of days and then 5  times a day for 5 days.  Not cool. 

I spent the first 24 hours after this appointment crying, and cried off and on for a few days following.  I was so disappointed and also worried about a surgery like this.   I was confused and asking God why.  Never a good thing.  I took my eyes off of Jesus and on their condition.  Joel and I were both weary.

Then slowly I began to hear God speak....... 5 times I received verses of scripture concerning asking in His name, ask, seek, find....We had been speaking to the mountain, commanding the eyes to heal. but for this situation we were hearing something different.  So I asked. I asked for the pressure to go back down, healing to come.  And then I turned it over to Jesus.  It was now His responsibility.  He died for sickness, for this diagnosis.  It was really His diagnosis now, His burden.  Every time worry raised it's ugly head, I went back to turning it all over to Jesus.  Whatever came to pass, all would be well.

Yesterday was my recheck.  We were hopeful, but also knew surgery was possible and that Jesus would do what was best for me.  The pressure?  It was down.  Significantly down!  I asked the Dr. if this was good news and was he happy about this.....He replied, "I am ecstatic!"   Oh, my.  Oh my!
We are still doing a happy dance.  The doctor told me he wanted to see me in 6 months, but I asked him if I could come back in 3 months instead of 6 to see if my eyes were still good, so I could have cataract surgery.  He agreed.  I told him we were moving to AZ and he said, "You know, I trained at Mayo in Scottsdale and I will call my buddies there and find out who would be the best doctor for your case."  Another concern taken care of! 

I left there praising God and giving thanks that Jesus took the burden.  I literally felt relief when I made that decision and did as He asked.  It took the pressure off of me in more ways than one! 

Now, back to "the eyes have it".  Joel had an appointment too.  He used to live with recurrent corneal erosion and it was a very painful condition at times, controlling what climate we lived in and how Joel slept at night.  The doctor checked Joel's eyes and said they looked absolutely GREAT!  We knew that Joel was healed of the eye condition along with so many other diseases that January night in 2012, but the doctor gave a statement that seemed astonishing.  He said, "You have the eyes of a 50 year old!  We were giving thanks not only because he eyes were doing so well, but because when he was younger than 50 he was told he had the eyes of a 80 year old man!  GOD in His goodness had restored his eyes back to age 50!  Isn't God amazing?

So, the eyes have it in our house this week and so does praise.  Praising God for the good news!  For all the promises of God in His Word. 

We Are Called

Several years ago, before I began my healing journey I belonged to an online email group of women who were all chronically ill.  Dealing with MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivities), CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), Lyme and more.  Most of us were looking for answers to improve our health.  It was a good group, but when I began to experience healing in my body, I made the difficult decision to leave the group because I wanted to focus on healing and not on symptoms and sickness.  For me that meant stepping away from their support and into the world of "God wants you well!" 

Today I heard from a Louisiana friend in the group that another member had died in her sleep.  She had been a scientist at one time but ended up very ill from chemical exposures.  She lived mostly in isolation in Australia with the man she loved.  She was a Buddhist.  We used to email quite often, and also wrote a few letters back and forth.  Even though she knew I was a Christian I never spoke to her about my faith, she never spoke about hers.    I "respected" her decision to be a Buddhist and did talk to her about my faith.  Until 2 months ago.

This group member who died emailed me two months ago to see how I was doing.  I decided it was time to share with her our healing journeys and what Jesus has done for us.  What he wants to do for everyone.  I just want others to have what He has to offer.  I was not pushy, but I shared openly about what we have learned about healing, about Jesus dying for sins and diseases, how he had miraculously healed Joel overnight.  I shared about how much we love our Lord and Savior and that He has guided us our whole lives. 

I never heard back from her.

And today I heard she has died.  Oh, how it saddens me.  I can only hope my words or someone else's had an impact on her life.  I can only pray the Lord has mercy on her soul. 

I confess in the past I have let my cowboy preacher do the preaching, but we are all called to preach the gospel (in word and deed).  We are all called to heal the sick, cast out demons, raise the dead.  Jesus gave us these instructions and we all need to take them seriously.  It can be a matter of life or death.  It is a matter of life or death for each one of us, isn't it.

As I remember my friend, I am giving praise today that I know Jesus as my Savior.  I am so grateful for all I have learned and experienced with healing. I am so grateful for the Father's love.  So, so grateful.

Saturday's Scribbles: The Sacrifice of Praise Continues

It is cold, damp, and windy in our corner of the world today.  Our bird from hell continues his relentless torment on us and mosquitoes have already hatched making porch sitting impossible right now.  We are enjoying our flowers from the living room windows.  Welcome to the Midwest!

It has been a week where tragedy and sickness seem to be in abundance.  That stinks.  Like all of you I have been saddened by the loss of life in Texas and other states due to the flooding.  A prayer request came to me as leader of the Knee Team regarding a mom and young son who were killed in a tragic car crash after a wedding, taking with them the baby that entered the world and lived only briefly.  A woman from a former congregation died this week after a brief battle with recurring cancer.  A good friend of ours is battling a terrible fungal infection called mucra, that is in her lungs.  A pic line is delivering massive medications with nasty side effects into her body twice a day for at least the next seven weeks to combat a disease that came out of nowhere.  They are trying to trace the point of contact but are not making headway.  They are checking her whole body for cancer, wondering what has compromised her immune system.  I received two phone calls from people this week in need of prayer and encouragement for the journeys they are on.  It all makes my battles with health seem small, yet, the struggle is not.  A UTI that is gone, but symptoms linger, and now learning after this week's appointment with the eye specialist that the laser surgery last fall did not work very long, the pressure is up, and the Dr. is looking at surgery to make new drainage channels in my eyes to protect my sight.  Most of my optic nerve fibers are already gone and what is left needs to be protected.  It was a significant blow and I confess it has brought us to our knees. 

So, while on our knees, stunned and discouraged, we have a choice. We can live in fear and confusion, or we can lift our eyes and hands up to God in praise and thanksgiving remembering who God is.  We can give praise from our place of fear or discouragement for God being our Healer,  For God fighting for us.  For His great love.  For the many promises and truths we find in His Word. A sacrifice of praise while praying for all those who lost loved ones this week, for those who are hurting in our broken world.  Yes, God fights for us!

Today God brought to mind again, 2 Chronicles 20 that tells the story of Jehoshaphat and the armies that came against him.  He reminded God of His faithfulness, His guidance and direction and he pleaded for help to defend them against such a mighty army of several nations that were coming their way.  God sent a message to him through a prophetic word that told them to not be afraid.  God would FIGHT FOR THEM.  So Jehoshaphat put his SINGERS up front as the army of Judah marched forward to battle. Before they could even come into contact with the army, the warriors had all turned on each other and every single one died.  They all died as Jehoshaphat and Judah, in obedience to God, sang His praises with loud voices.  As they stood still and watched the Lord's victory.   In our battles we praise God for who He is and Whose we are.  We ask, we seek, we obey, we praise.  We STAND STILL, resting and trusting. 

Guess I am "sneaking in a preach" as our daughter Bethany would say!  It is as much for me as it is for anyone reading this post today.  As we wait, we are at times tossed about by the waves, and need to be reminded and give thanks for God's faithfulness. 

On a positive note we went shopping this week for a wedding we will attend.  My niece is getting married in a beautiful setting near the Mississippi River.  Joel will officiate.  We have been walking a mile daily, and hope to get back up to 1.5 miles soon. 

I have not been reading much this week..  At the doctor's office someone put the wrong drops into my eyes which caused quite a stir as they did not know how I would react.  It was written on my chart to not use them, but accidents happen.  They then put steroids in my eyes twice and other drops and that caused my corneas to be scratchy which required drops every hour for a couple of days and now drops 4 times a day.  Yep, it was a tough week.  The good news is I did not react as they thought I would to the first drops.  Expect that my body handles meds better now than in the past.

We have watched some TV and e njoyed a PBS special called Home Front that chronicled several military families as they deal with deployments and the damage caused by war.  Also watched several teachings on praise and worship that came up on Bethel TV.  Appropriate for this season.

Until next time.............

The Bird From Hell

Do you remember the robin that would not stop hitting our large window on the landing?  Joel eventually put up a screen over the 8 foot tall window to keep him from seeing his reflection.  That lasted a week and then he tore apart part of the screen!  We put it back up, but he still spends a great deal of his days flying against the window....over and over and over.  Seriously annoying.

We have tried scaring it away, keeping the curtain closed, commanding it to leave in Jesus name, putting up a screen, and at the suggestion of the neighbors, Joel shot a pellet gun at it.  I know.  For bird lovers this is painful to hear. My husband grew up with a gun in his hand but don't worry, the bird flew off leaving behind just a few feathers.  We felt so bad after that event, we eliminated that option.  And yes, we know it is against the law to shoot off even a BB gun in town.  We were desperate.  We still are. 

We have decided this bird has been sent from hell to torment us.  In fact, ever since we did the all day seminar on healing and Holy Spirit so many things have come against us that we are exhausted.  I am ready to lay down on the floor and say, I. give. up. 

But then the bird hits the window again, and even though you could say he is the perfect example of the definition of insanity (doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results), he is also an example of persistence, perseverance.  It depends on the situation. 

So now I have taken to blessing the bird.  Yep.  When it hits the window starting at 6am I cover my head with a pillow.  But when I am up and functioning I bless it for being persistent.  For being part of God's creation, for teaching us patience? For distracting us from our current circumstances.......

Today I read a post on Facebook that talked about the darkest times in our lives and that we need to praise God the loudest when it is the darkest.  Somehow this bird is part of that.  To praise God with the little things that come against us, like an annoying bird, and the big, like a health issue,.....because all sin, suffering, and even birds from hell, bow to God.  All praise...all glory.....to You our Savior, our King.

An Altar of Praise

"For I have not been given a spirit of fear,

but a spirit of power, love and a sound mind."

2 Timothy 1:7

A not so funny thing happened on the way to a urinary tract infection......minor symptoms popped up....we stood on prayer and hearing God's voice.....a serious infection took hold......then the color of rootbeer and pain sent me to the doctor.....and two courses of antibiotics, D-mannose, essential oils, and two cultures later I ponder how the doctor will deal with the test results that came today.

A not so funny thing happened on the way to a urinary tract infection......a spirit of fear settled in.  Fear that took me out of my place of rest and triggered the inner child in me to once again ask, "Who or what can I trust"?  When I hear His voice, am I really hearing His voice?  And if I cannot trust what I heard at the very beginning of this journey then can I trust anything He has told us? (dramatic sigh)

The fear is not really about a stubborn infection.  It is a trust issue.  We spend a great deal of time tuning in to hear God's voice.  And we both thought we were hearing the voice of God concerning the symptoms I was having.  We stood on that firmly, and I ended up quite ill with a "serious infection" as the doctor called it.  Okay then.  So, what went wrong?  How did the enemy's voice or our own get in the way of God's voice and how do we stop it from happening again?  And some of you may be asking, "Why do they think they can hear from God at all in these circumstances?....foolish people".

As confusion and fear came to visit, I have had to go back to what I know.  Honestly, more than once, sometimes many times a day I have turned to the Lord.  We stand on the Word of God, and we believe God's Word heals.  God's Word guides, God's Word tells us we can hear His voice, so I grab hold of what I know from the past....what I remember. I build an altar of stones as Joshua did after crossing the Jordan River to help the people remember ALL God had done for them.  I build an altar with praise.  Sometimes it is a sacrifice of praise because I don't understand, because in the midst of this journey I have been shaken and stirred....but I build an altar of praise for ALL the times we have heard His voice, were obedient and saw victory and healing.  I build an altar of praise that silences the inner child that says I cannot trust what I hear or see as being truth.  The lie that says, the enemy has more power than Jesus.  The lie that says I am still a victim of my circumstances.

No, this season of trembling is not about a urinary tract infection.  It is no secret that I hate going to the doctor, that I spent so much time seeing them in the past 30 years I avoid them like the plague.  Yep that is true.  But this season of trembling and fear is truly about something else.  This is deep in the core of me where Holy Spirit is rooting out that which holds me back.  God did not cause this infection, but He can use it to draw me closer.  I was building a foundation of trust with every whisper from Papa God, and then the enemy came in and said to me through sickness and lies...."Did God really say that?  Can you really trust that you hear from Him?'  "Who do you think you are?"

My response has to be, "I am a daughter of the King.  IT IS WRITTEN, "I will give you back your health and heal your wounds".  It is written, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.."  Just as Jesus responded to the enemy....it. is. written.....so can we. 

I build an altar of praise to our Lord for each time we heard His voice of truth.  An altar of praise for the Lyme, CFS, MCS, and thyroid disease that were healed.  I build an altar of praise for His faithfulness.  His healing.  His love.  I build an altar of praise out of obedience and because God is so worthy!  And oh how the enemy hates praise.

If you have visited my cyber home or if you know me face to face you know I am pretty direct about who I am and what is going on in my life.  It opens the door to criticism and judgment at times, but it is how God created me to be.  I have a deep faith in my Lord. He has healed me of the fears I lived with for many years surrounding "feeling safe".  He is  a good God.  Now I am in a place where I have to get out of the boat and trust I do hear God's voice. Sometimes we get it wrong.  We will.  We are human after all and we fight a war with a spiritual realm that does not want us to embrace our freedom in Christ.

I have been hearing over and over from friends, scriptures, in the garden of my heart, from a prayer minister:  PERSEVERE.  STAND FIRM on God's promises.  GOD'S WORD HEALS.  REST in the finished work. When I receive something more than once I pay attention.  The message is clear and there is no room for fear in this message. 

I believe God wants us well and that sickness is NEVER from God.  He heals our physical and emotional wounds when we open our heart to Him.  I believe we can hear God's voice and we can trust it.  And as I step out of the boat in this present situation to be obedient to what I hear now, I am determined to keep my eyes of Jesus with an altar of praise.   If I start to sink, He is there.  He is always there.  He is a good God.