Living In The Extremes

Today I heard the word extreme used to describe what has been happening with the weather lately.  Definitely extreme......fires....floods.....hurricanes.......winds.......hot spots and cold spots....dry and wet.  Yeah, definitely a good definition of our weather.  Extreme.

I looked up the definition of extreme in the dictionary and was told "existing in a very high degree....or going to great exaggerated lengths....or exceeding the ordinary, usual, or expected. "It came to my mind that we could use the word extreme to help define most of life right now.  We have not only extreme weather showing up but we have the extreme in our politics. Just listen to the ads on TV.  There is not one politician including the President that does not use extreme language, extreme fear, extreme untruths to get you to vote for them.  It is sad, scary, and worrisome.  If you look at Washington DC and those who we have elected in the House and Congress you cannot help but see the extreme polarizing "us against them" mentality. It has spread into our states, cities and communities.  It sickens me. The  extreme also shows up in this virus.  If you read any of the stories of those who have fought hard to live after getting Covid, you can only define it as extreme.  I would add a few other words like nasty, unpredictable, relentless.  It is not something to brush off as minor no matter what your age, religion, or beliefs.  This is yet another issue that has been made political and people are dying because of it.  No one can deny that 2020 has been a year of extremes......financially, politically, socially, economically, with weather and with peoples health.  

It is hard not to focus on it all, but it came to me today that the Bible is full of extremes too.  Some bad and some ugly, but some that are soooooooo good.  Maybe our focus needs to come back to the good extremes.  Let's start with the best one of all......Jesus dying on a cross for us.  God giving His only Son to die for our sins and to make salvation available for us all.  Pretty extreme!   And think about Peter walking on the water......oh yes, he doubted and started to sink, but he and Jesus were walking on the water. Amazing. Jesus showing up after His resurrection!   Pretty extreme!  Joel and I are studying the book of Acts and there are some pretty extreme happenings with Holy Spirit in there.  And lets not forget Noah and the flood.  He was pretty radical to build that huge Ark and bring two of all God's creation on board.  And Moses and the parting of the Red Sea?  Oh, yeah...........extreme!  One of my favorite stories comes from  2Chronicles 20 where Jehoshaphat steps out with a radical faith and believes that God will protect them from the large army coming against them.  They went forth singing!  Yes singing....and watched as all the enemies coming against them turned on each other....and died.  Extreme faith and obedience in a situation that looked hopeless.  

Today has found me praying for an extreme faith to believe for peace and civility in our country, for healing and unity for our nation, for this virus to die, for miracles to abound in our lives, for health and wellness, for the weather to shift, for prosperity for the many hurting financially, for complete healing for those I love and care about.  We are living in the extremes.........but we can face them all with our "extreme" faith in God and His promises.

What is Our Job Right Now?

When our children were young Joel would tell them that being in school and doing the best that they could at the time was their "job".  They went to school to "work" on getting an education.  We all had our jobs to do and their job was going to school.

In the way my mind works, what Joel told our young kids came to mind when I thought about what is happening all around us.  Obviously, our world has changed, and each governor has issued instructions for their states to follow to attempt to stop this virus from infecting and killing large numbers of people, thus overwhelming our medical communities.  Most people are compliant with what they are being told but others, for reasons beyond my understanding, choose not to comply.

So I have been asking, "What is our job right now?"  How do we do our part from the confines of our home where we have chosen to stay?  My response to my own questions is, "Our main job right now is to take this seriously.  Stay home when we can.  Self-isolate.  Act like the virus is in us or all around us and stay a safe distance from others.  We live less than an hour from Minnesota, here in northern Iowa.  Minnesota has issued a stay at home, shelter in place order, only going out for essentials.  Our governor is not putting any stay at home policy in place as she feels Iowans are smart enough to do on their own.  One of only a few states who have NOT requested residents stay safe and shelter in their homes.

Our job right now is to make good choices for ourselves, protecting ourselves and others in the process.  God gave us faith to stand on, and He also gave us wisdom.  We need both right now as a nation, so we are following the Minnesota guidelines and have been sheltering in place for 15 days.  Recently, the scientists have given us some pretty gruesome data to digest, and it affirms our decision to shelter in place.  Most people we know are doing so if they can.

Those of us staying home and not on the frontlines, feel helpless when it comes to "doing something" to help.  Of course our first line of defense is to pray.  It is vital to reach out to God at this time and pray for others.  Some still have to go to work, our two sons are on that list.  Our medical workers, first responders, etc. are doing all they can to serve and save lives.   Others are shopping and checking in on their elderly or health compromised neighbors.  There are many who are making homemade masks to deliver to hospitals and nursing homes at their requests.  Social media is lit up with people sharing their musical abilities online, and there are many church services and Bible studies available on your phone or laptop.  There are more cute and funny videos out there to make us smile and laugh at than ever before.  Laughter is good medicine.   People want to do something to help and connect as we live in cocoons, practicing social distancing and self isolation.

So, as I reflect on what Joel told our kids decades ago, I am applying it to myself, to all of us. It may not be what we want to do right now........but may I suggest that social distancing and self isolating is our job.  And doing our job cuts down on the risk and the work loads our medical people, police and first responders have to do.  Staying strong in our faith is our job right now. Remembering and touching base with those we love and care about is our  job right now.  You may have other things to add to your job list.

As each of us "do our jobs right now", doing the best we can in the process, we lift you in prayer.  Prayers for our family, friends, loved ones, our neighborhood, our community, our city, our state, our country, our world.  We will get through this.

A Story To Be Pondered

Yesterday we had pancakes for supper.  Shrove Tuesday, "Fat Tuesday", the day before Ash Wednesday is a time to "feast" as 40 days of lent means for many a time of sacrifice.  We do not practice that ritual of giving up something for Lent, but we do celebrate Shrove Tuesday with pancakes covered in almond butter, fresh strawberries and blueberries, pure maple syrup and coconut based whipping cream.  Any excuse for pancakes in this house!

Today is Ash Wednesday, a time when many protestant denominations fill the pews of their churches for a service of worship.  Where they receive communion and ashes on their foreheads as a reminder of our mortality.  Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.  Lent is a time to reflect.

I read a story over on Ann Voskamp's Blog about a woman named Ndubaayo, whom she met in Kenya.  This woman had walked 26 miles taking 8 hrs, barefoot across hills so that she could hear the Word of God.  She learned to read in her language and was able to hear and read the book of John at a church so many miles away..  She did this 5 days a week for 2 years.  Take a moment to think about that.

When this Kenyan woman became very ill and eventually bedridden her neighbors wished her to be dead and gone.  But she talked to God about those who said she was ill because she gave so much time to Him, and she asked for His courage.  As she talked to Him, she heard a voice say, "I hear you and I see you, and I know the goodness that your are doing."  And then she heard words she had never known in her life:  "Galations, verse 9".  She had no understanding of what it meant so when the "church mamas, 40 of them, came to see her she shared it with them.  They did not know either since they only had the book of John that had been translated into their language.  Someone there actually had an english Bible and they eventually realized Galations was a book in the Bible.  They went through all the chapters until they came to 6:9.  One woman could read enough English so she translated what it said.  "Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow wearly."  It confirmed what God had told her.  She became well and recently Ann Voskamp was able to sit in a church in Kenya and listen to her tell 1,000 people about her story.   Only God.

When I read this story to Joel over lunch I could not stop crying.  It still brings me to tears.  Oh, people, we are so spoiled here in America.  We have so many Bibles within our reach and not one of us has to walk 26 miles barefoot to hear the word of God.  This woman, Ndubaayo was hungry for the Word of God.  She was willing to sacrifice much of her day, her energy, her life to be able to hear it.  She understood the importance of God's Word and His presence.  Ann Voskamp said when she met Ndubaayo her face was radiate with God's love.  Recently the whole Bible became available to Ndubaayo and so many others to read in their own language.  When she first received her own Bible?  She slept with it on her pillow right next to her.

So here it is, Ash Wednesday.  A time when we focus on those days before Good Friday.  A time when we focus on God's love for His people and Jesus sacrifice for us.  A time when many give up something for Lent....whether it is a food you love or a TV show you just can't miss.   Ann Voskamp's story about Ndubaayo, in a small village in Kenya, is there for me, for us to reflect on during this Holy season.  I am undone by it.  Humbled, repentant, and hungry for more time with God. Shaken by this woman's faith and willingness to sacrifice so much to hear and read God's Word.

As I walk up to the front of the church tonight to receive communion and the pastor puts the sign of the cross on my forehead with ashes, I will hear the words, "Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return"  Without Jesus those words would be frightening,wouldn't they, but with Jesus we know that our bodies may be mortal but eternal life awaits us.  God's Word came alive in Jesus.  I don't think I will ever look at Lent quite the same way again as I think about  Ndubaayo's sacrifices for God and His response to her.  Would I be so willing?  Would you?

Spiritual Blinders

Have you ever seen a horse with blinders on?  They are worn so that they are not frightened by what is beside or behind them.  The blinders keep the horse moving forward without incident and with the right perspective.  No panicky horses.  Lately I feel like I need those blinders .....just need to keep my eyes focused on moving forward.  Just stay focused on Jesus.......just keep walking forward one step at a time.....no worry.....no panic setting in.

It has been just over a year since this journey began.  It is easy for me to slip back to those early months and the turbulence involved in every test, every report, and what seemed like all bad news.  It shook our world and it can still bring about a physical response if I go back and think about all of it.  Like Lot's wife in the Bible, I want to look back over my shoulder, but I know that it will not be helpful.  I won't turn into a pillar of salt, but the distractions and emotions wrapped up in the past year can keep me frozen in place.  Especially since this November is filled with appointments and tests.  Chemo will be done after this Friday, and  I move on to the next phase......radiation.  Before that happens there are tests, a port removal, a visit to the urologist and dermatologist, and.......yeah......"Distractions!" Give me those blinders!  I need a new perspective.

So a horse with blinders, we know it is for its own good.  The blinders keep the horse steady, focused, and calm as it does the job set before him. Makes sense.

Makes sense for us too.  There are times in all our lives when we need to intentionally focus, stay steady and calm and just "do the job" set before us.  Keeping our eyes upon Jesus and His plan gives us the best perspective, and is a good way to accomplish all those things.  Of course blinders are not literally what we need, but knowing God is guiding us through life keeps us calm and less distracted by the world around us.  There are benefits to having spiritual blinders!

"Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light unto my path."

Ps. 119:105  NLT

One Brave Step Up The Mountain

"It is a new week and you just keep being brave

 because blessed is the one who perseveres, 

who does the hard thing and puts feet to the floor and just begins, 

who doesn't stop putting one brave step in front of another.  

Because tough times never last

 but those who hang on tight to God always do."

Ann Voskamp

Today I read a few powerful thoughts from Ann Voskamp, the author of One Thousand Gifts.  She spoke about doing the "hard things".  About putting our feet to the floor and just beginning.  She wrote about taking one brave step and starting up the mountain we face.  That God will take the mountain, all we need to do is take courage and take the next step.  She reminded us to lean in and take that next step.

I have been hearing a lot about leaning in lately.  It began last week when I faced the fact I needed surgery again for this large ugly kidney stone that is one big mountain of trouble in my right kidney.  Between the stone and the stents I am fighting infections and my body is already dealing with a lower white count from the breast cancer treatments.  I did not want to deal with it, but it is what it is.  And God is who He says He is!  Through devotionals He keeps reminding me to lean in to Him.  Trust Him in this season.

A week ago I had a visual encounter where I was standing arm in arm next to Jesus, leaning against Him.  I was shaking from head to toe but I was standing firm with Jesus keeping me upright.  I remember thinking, well if Jesus is on my right, who is on my left side then....and when I turned I realized Joel was linking arms with me too.  Of course, he has always been my support.  my earthly rock provided by God.  Beyond Joel, much to my surprise, I saw Dr. M, the urologist.  It shocked me.  My thought was, okay, he is part of this healing journey too.  Then I looked around and saw faded out faces of who I knew to be friends and family.  Those praying and sending their love.

The mountains can look so big.  They can be so big.  BUT GOD......... We need to have the courage to take the first step up the mountain.  Maybe for you it is a financial burden.........or chemo........or trusting someone when it is hard to trust. For me this time it is yet another surgery this Wednesday afternoon to rid the stone from my kidney.  (Going up through the urethra to laser the stone) Everyone's mountain is different, but the source of our strength is not.  Our strength comes from God.

"The great ones are simply the ones who believe God can.  

In Him, you. can. do. this.  

The hopeful stare up the steps.  

The faithful step up the stairs."

I am always amazed at the courage people display in difficult circumstances.  Ordinary people, living ordinary lives, who are hit by circumstances that are in no way ordinary.  Ordinary people who dig deep, finding courage and strength to face the worst of the worst and who do so with hope and faith in their God, in our Lord who tells us to lean in.  "Lean in, trust, and see Me move mountains".  

Today I am asking for your continued prayers for the surgery Wednesday afternoon.  Praying that the long tedious process of lasering the large stone into small ones will go well and swiftly.  That I will come home that evening and recover well.  I also ask for prayers for all those who fight their own battles with God by their sides. Those who persevere and faithfully keep taking that one brave step up the mountain they face.  

Christmas 1968

As I was listening to Christmas music today, I remembered our first Christmas together as a married couple.  It was 1968, Joel was a lowly airman in the Air Force, stationed at Rantoul Illinois for 9 months of tech training to work on air testing in airplanes.  We lived in a small Airstream trailer that was not wide enough for me to lay across......and I am under 5' 3" tall.  The bathroom was small enough that we could sit on the stool and wash our hands in the sink at the same time!

It was our first Christmas away from our families, we were living on $200 a month, and had little to spend on gifts.  But we bought each other 1 gift.....I bought Joel a pair of western boots and he bought me a bathrobe.  Joel has worn boots for as long as I can remember.  I love wearing robes, and still do enjoy having a robe to change into in the evenings.  We had a tiny tree with presents from my family under the tree, adding to our own gifts for each other. I had made cookies like we did at home........ending up with so many different kinds, we actually took most of them out to the barracks to share with other airmen who could not go home.  I don't recall, but I am thinking we had the traditional turkey dinner.

We were lonely for family, but we were so thankful to be together to celebrate.  We attended a local Lutheran church not far from our trailer house for Christmas Eve services.  I don't recall if we phoned home.  We could not afford a phone so if we did it would have been a collect call!

We have spent many Christmases far from our extended families and eventually as our kids grew into adults we have spent them far from our own family.  But we have always had each other.  For 50 years now we have never missed a Christmas together.  So grateful.  Our holidays have been celebrated in Illinois, New Mexico, Utah, Minnesota, Montana, Iowa, and The Philippine Islands

This year we will spend a quiet Christmas together, and our focus will be the same...........the waiting and anticipation with four weeks of Advent, leading up to the worship on Christmas Eve, and the focus on Jesus our Savior.

As we prepare to enter the Advent season, this year I am especially grateful for the love that sustains us as husband and wife.  The years behind, the present season, and the years to come.  I am thankful for the Presence of our Savior in the midst of our celebration.  We no longer live in a small Airstream, poor as "church mice" and newly separated from our families.  We have fifty years behind us, a foundation of faith and family to sustain us.  We are blessed.

The Yellow Brick Road

I was quietly sitting with my eyes closed, having asked God to speak to me through what I call a visual encounter.  Letting God use my mind/imagination to show me things He wants me to see.  This day I saw round brown stepping stones scattered around in front of me.  I watched myself step from one to another, back and forth, in no real order.  When I looked up I saw a large beam of yellow light coming towards me in a straight line.  Suddenly a huge  being came down out of the sky landing on the ground a few yards in front of me.  The earth shook when he landed.  I questioned if this was God, but he turned around and I saw several wings on his back.  This giant angel started walking towards the source of the light and with each step the ground shook.  I then heard the words........"Follow the yellow brick road." 

The yellow brick road.  I love it when God uses the familiar to get His point across.   Sometimes Joel and I feel like we are just hopping from one stone to another with little direction.  And then God sends us a clear message of what His plan is and we find ourselves saying..."Are you sure, Lord?"  Are you sure this is what you want us to do?  Maybe we will just go back to what  was comfortable, wandering from stepping stone to stepping stone, a bit like the Israelites in the wilderness.  Is this the right path....maybe this is.......And then God says, "Follow the yellow brick road".  Follow that beam of light beckoning to us from God Himself.

Have you heard the story about a man who fell off a cliff, but was able to hang on to a branch sticking out of the side to keep himself from crashing.  He asked God for help and heard.........."Let go of the branch".  He asked again and got the same answer.  The man then said, "Is there anyone else out there?"  God's response required some big time trust and made no sense.  Maybe someone else had a better idea?

Sometimes God requests us to do something that does not make a lot of sense at the time.  He asks us to trust Him whether we understand the purpose or not.  In His word we read................."For I have plans for you, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."  (Jeremiah 29:11).  That is what we hang on to.

I remember when we were sure God wanted Joel to get an "early out" of the Air Force, move to St. Paul and go to seminary.  We visited friends at Luther Sem and were so sure it was God's plan we spent time looking for a house to buy and found one by a grade school and close to the Seminary.  We almost put in an offer but decided to wait until Joel got the papers releasing him from the Air Force.  We went home and Joel went it to fill out the paperwork for an early out.  The clerk, said, "You can't get an early out, you have orders!"  Joel was surprised to say the least, but asked...."Where am I going?"  The clerk said, "The Philippine Islands."  Joel was overdue for a remote one year tour without his family, so he asked if he was going accompanied or unaccompanied.  The clerk said, "Accompanied".  We then began the process of moving overseas to experience what turned out to be two of the most amazing and life changing years of our lives.  We thought we had the path all figured out and were sure we knew what God had planned, but the "yellow brick road" led us to expand our family, meet friends for life, grow our faith, and experience living in a third world country.

The yellow brick road looks different for each of us, and at different times in our lives.   God sees beyond ourselves to His plan for His children and He asks us to follow Him.  Sometimes it is risky, sometimes it is confusing, sometimes it is glorious, but always it is best because His plan for us and for His world is good, not evil.   Do you find yourself on a yellow brick road?  If so, remember that God is leading the way.  He asks us to follow him and trust him on our journey as we listen and watch for His directions.  Just follow the yellow brick road....................

Do You Want A Real Internship Or Not?

It was a discussion like we had never had before.  Married 10 years, Joel and I were looking at where his one year of Internship would be located during his third year of Seminary.  We owned an old house, full of bats and things that needed fixing, but it was ours and gave Joel a sense of security.  We were a family of 6 so there were only three places available for our crew to go on Internship unless we stayed right where we were in St. Paul, MN.  One was in far northern Minnesota.  It just did not feel right so we eliminated that one.  The second was a larger church in my home town of Austin MN.  That seemed too easy with family in town and everything familiar around us.  The third option was a 4 point parish in Malta Montana.   A new adventure.  Montana seemed like the right place for us, but Joel was worried about selling our house, that also had a rental income coming in, and not having a home to return to for his final year of Seminary.  Taking care of our family was Joel's priority.  It made sense.

 I can still see us sitting around the dining room table discussing it all one early Spring evening..  Joel, his cousin Luther who was a good friend, and myself.  Joel had his heels dug in as Luther and I encouraged him to consider the opportunity ahead of us.  Finally I said to Joel, "Do you want to have a real Internship or not?  Are you going to let fear get in the way of what I believe is God's plan for us? "

It was unusual for me to hold my ground on something so important, but I truly just knew deep inside that this was part of God's plan for us and He would work it all out.  Joel let out a big sigh as he realized he was letting fear get in the way of trusting God.   He said to us,  "Let's do it."

It did not take us long to sell the house and before we knew it we were packed up and heading with our four kids and two cats to Montana.  Our year in Malta changed our lives forever.  We fell in love with Big Sky Country and the people who inhabited the northern part of the state near the Missouri breaks and Little Rockies.  It shaped our lives and Joel's ministry.

Sometimes we need to step out in faith, when it does not seem practical or make a lot of sense to us or to others.  We step out because we can trust the One who leads us.  His plans for us are always good.  And remember how worried Joel was about a place for us to live his final year at the seminary?  About two months before we would be heading back to St. Paul we received a phone call from a man who was going with his family on internship that coming summer and was looking for someone to live in their home for the year they were gone.  He told us that if we paid the mortgage,  he would give us the profits of that year with us when they sold their home.  We not only had a sweet little house to live in, but made  some money.  God certainly blessed our obedience.  He loves to work things out for good to those who love Him.

I Have Been Talking To You All Night

I was determined to hear her speak, the author of two books that we had read.  Judy Franklin is an assistant to pastor Bill Johnson and shares her gifting of visions from Holy Spirit as a speaker and author..  She understands the spirit realm and has written about her own experiences.  It is powerful the way God can use our imagination for His own purposes.

She was so interesting! Part of her lecture was to have us sit back and visualize Jesus in front of us.  Then listen for what he wants to tell you and see what he wants to show you.

As I leaned back and closed my eyes Jesus came right up.  Eyes so vivid and hair a reddish brown, thick and wavy.  He took my hand and I noticed the scar on the top of His.  I leaned down and kissed the scar.  He urged me to walk with Him so I did. We went to a meadow by a creek and he sat down leaning back on His hands with His ankles crossed.  I sat beside Him.  He suddenly scooped His hands up from the grass and lifted them high in the air.  Feathers went up and then fell down all around us.  So many small white feathers!  As I stood up and started gathering the,, He said, "You don't have to collect them, there will always be more."

That was the end of what I saw as the speaker then invited some of us to share what we had seen.  I am not completely sure what the feathers represent but they have come to me often over the past 2 1/2 years.  It started with breast cancer surgery and the verses and feathers showing up in images, etc.  Shelter-of-His-wings feathers, healing feathers.  Then when we went to Bethel Church last fall they showed up before we left after we asked for them as affirmation for our trip.  This time from an owl who was gracing us with his nightly presence.  Now once again I am seeing feathers.  I am praying for clarification and meaning to fully come, but for now I am grateful there will always be more.

At the end of Judy Franklin's teaching, she pointed her finger at me and told me she had been "looking at me and talking to me the whole night".  She went on to speak some amazing words over and about me that touched my heart and has had me pondering their meaning ever since.  I was one of 3 people she spoke to in a room of 75-100 listeners, so I am so grateful to hear from someone who has helped me to understand the things I see and hear. 

There are so many ways that God speaks to us.  Through our devotionals,  the scriptures, worship songs, the words of friends and family, books written by others, prophetic words, and much more.  More, like God using our minds/imagination for His divine purposes. 

God Of Angel Armies

I was quietly meditating, asking Holy to guide my thoughts and show me anything I needed to see for Joel and myself.  I immediately saw us in Heaven, standing on the sidelines, watching a battle taking place.  To our right were slate colored horses with riders wearing slate armor, whose faces were obscured by armor.  Swords were drawn as the horse and riders thundered forward.  To my left were the angels on white stallions, they wore no armor but carried large silver swords.  As we watched the fighting taking place, I asked Holy Spirit if we were to join in.  He said yes and immediately Joel and I were pulled up on the back of horses behind the angels riding them.  I could actually hear the horses snorting, and the swords clashing as the fight continued on.  I could feel the horse underneath me, strong and muscular.  I felt safe with the angel in front of me.  I knew he was fighting from a place of victory.  I glanced at his face and saw he had longer blondish hair and a square jaw.  His face was set firm and his eyes were on those he was fighting with, the enemy.  This is where my vision ended.

I connected what I saw with what Ana Werner spoke of a week ago.  She sent out an email to her readers , sharing that Jesus had told her to "sound the alarm". Let everyone know that there is a battle going on against full healing for people and God's angels have joined the battle.  Our part in this battle was to "KEEP praising in the midst of the battle.  Keep praising because praise carries more power than we realize."

A couple of hours later I was on Facebook and saw that Dr. Brian Simmons had given a prophetic word from God.  "I have set My armies in place, they are battle ready and prepared to fight for you......Watch the miracles break forth as you step forward in faith.  I call you to march with My Heavenly armies and see great victories for you."

I love it when God connects the dots.  When I receive something three or more times I pay attention. I have been quite discouraged by this latest medical drama with Vitamin D toxicity.  As I struggle with symptoms that keep me close to the sofa, I am more than a little weary.  Yet, God.

I have a dear friend who has been dealing with a problem in her body that is causing great anxiety.  Our brother-in-law is dealing with chemo side effects as he journeys ahead.  A dear couple we have known for over 40 years is coming to grips with the doctor's words.....terminal.  Many of you are carrying your own burdens.  Life is at times so challenging.  Yet God.

God tells us we are never alone.  He fights for us.  He wraps His wings around us as a shelter.  The words I have received and what He has shown me let me know that He is very aware of what is going on and He is sending out His armies to fight.  In this situation I believe our job is to give God praise.  To step out in faith knowing He has this.  To praise Him and trust that He has it covered.  He hates sickness and suffering as much as we do.

If you find yourself in a battle.....or sitting exhausted on the sidelines.....remember that "The Lord with fight for you and you need only to be still."  Remember that praise is a mighty weapon of warfare.  Remember that God's Heavenly Armies rise against the enemy!  The God of Angel Armies Is Always On Our Side!

A Steady Diet

When we were staying at the home of Bethel members in Redding CA, the hosts would have beautiful worship music on their TV flooding the house.  Our room was right up front, a sunroom made into a lovely bedroom, so we could hear the music by Julie True ~ so soft and soothing. 

Worship music that soothes and relaxes.  Joel listens to  "elevator music" whenever he is in the office working.  I decided since he is much more relaxed than me, I need to take his advice and find my own ways to bring peace into my days.

I love Bethel music but a steady diet of it is not relaxing.  I love Julie True, but a steady diet of it keeps me from getting things done.  I guess it is a lot like other things in our lives.  For instance, pancakes!  I love almond flour pancakes with almond butter, fresh strawberries and blueberries and topped with coconut whipping cream.  A steady diet of it would take my apple shape to a whole new level.  I like reading and watching murder mysteries, but a steady diet of them would have me jumping at every noise I hear.

There are a few things we do need a steady diet of.......you know where I am going here. We need a steady diet of God's Word, prayer, worship, and interaction.  We need a steady diet of Papa God in our lives, nourishing us.  Yes. 

A daily diet of picking up the love story that God wrote and fills our heart.  Do you remember writing or receiving love letters to or from someone special?  They warmed our hearts and put a smile on our face.  Well, God's Word is filled with love letters to His kids.  They touch our hearts, change our lives.

A daily diet of giving our Creator thanks and praise.  Praise is a way to communicate with our Father.  It is a weapon of warfare.  It shifts the atmosphere around us and in us.

A daily diet of prayer.  Talking to our God about all our needs, desires, dreams, hopes, and listening.  Quietly listening and looking for Him to show up.  He is always communicating with us, we just need to tune in.  Ask, seek, and you will find. 

A daily diet of worship.  Lifting our voices, our hearts, our eyes to our God.  It takes the focus off our our circumstances and on to the One who Heals, Saves, Loves. 

A daily intentional stepping into a relationship with Him.  He is always with us.  He lives IN us for Heaven's sake.  Well, really for our sake.  Share with Him just like you do your spouse or loved ones.  Let Him love on you...........

This is the kind of steady diet we need to be nourished ~ body, soul and spirit. 

What Is Normal?

About 4 weeks after my first eye shot for a vessel leaking in the left eye, my vision went "wonky".  Reading was difficult because with that eye the sentences were wavy....and vertical lines were too.  Also, looking with my left eye, faces were distorted and vision was low. My right eye was having trouble tracking with this change.

Can I just say, this was so not okay?!  I was trying to stay in peace but was tossed about on a sea of emotions. I called the eye specialist on Monday morning and saw the retina doctor yesterday afternoon.  Side note:  When did doctors start looking like they are 12 years old to me??

After I was examined, I was told everything looked "normal".  No bleeding, no real swelling.  Probably just fluid from the leaking vessel that moved and caused these problems.  "Normal".  Seriously? He wanted me to accept that this is normal?  Maybe in his world, but not in mine.  It is difficult enough to be the youngest by far of anyone waiting to take their turns with tests, exams, and injections.  Younger most likely because of the damage from that $#%&@ Lyme.  I get that, and there was some relief to hear that even though symptoms are worse, damage isn't, but I don't think I will ever accept that this is normal. 

I don't like this one bit, and refuse to partner with the word, "normal" when dealing with this condition, but I am grateful right now for the medical help. I never forget, though, that my true Helper goes by the title Papa.....Daddy.....Father. When I was talking to God about it all, He blessed me via Facebook, with words from Brian Simmons of The Passion Translation.  Words that fit so well, I tucked them into my heart along with the promises God has placed on my life.

"What you call delay, God call's preparation.  Many times God is at work behind the scenes, yet you cannot discern it.  God is preparing others so that your destiny may be fulfilled and God is preparing you even as He prepared Joseph for his season of promotion.  Never judge God's works by what your eyes see but by the promises He has made to you.  He will fulfill His word, and your eyes will see the miracles of His hand."

Here is what I consider normal.......bringing your needs to God.  Speaking to your "mountains" with the authority Jesus has given us.  Letting Holy Spirit guide us in all areas of our lives.  God is so good to grace us with just what we need.  And He is so good to remind us of His promises.  His Word sets the normal setting for us in life. 

Miracles ahead!  I look forward to miracles being the norm.   We won't need them in Heaven, everything is perfect there, but when His Kingdom comes on earth as it is in Heaven?  When we do as he commanded...."Heal the sick....cast out demons....." ?  When miracles and healing are part of our churches, homes, communities?  Yeah......I look forward to that kind of normal.  Meanwhile, I stand on His promises and rejoice in the miracles we do see. I don't know how a person lives without our Papa God to depend on.  So grateful. 

If God Said It!

If God said it, then that settles it.  Reading these words in the book, "Stronger Than The Battle" by Havilah Cunnington, affirmed what God had been patiently reminding me yet again about His promises for healing.

Let me explain here.  Most of you have followed my health journey with breast cancer.  The surgery, radiation, and recovery from the latter took a long time.  Our move to Arizona was put on hold to be re-evaluated.  The cataract surgeries added to the mix.  The next year were two surgeries for malignant melanoma followed a few months later by a diagnosis of Lichen Sclerosis.  Honestly, it brought me to my knees.  Then in December my vision suddenly became distorted, and a quickly scheduled trip to a retina specialist had me going through a battery of tests to get a diagnosis of wet Maculer Degeneration.  I had my first eye shot on December 29th.  This last medical earthquake literally put me under the covers in bed, weeping.  Just being honest here.

In that moment in time I came to the end of my ability to keep fighting.   Exhausted and weary I fell asleep on December 26th asking God to somehow let me know that what we believed about healing was His truth.  Did you really say "by His stripes you are healed?"  Did you really promise to "give me back my health and heal my wounds?  Havilah explained my doubts with God very well in her book when she said,

"The enemy will always try to change 

God's periods into question marks"

Havilah Cunnington

I fell asleep that night and did not have my usual chaotic, intense dreams that have plagued me for years.  I had a dream that I was in a house in Redding CA.  Brian Johnson, musician and son to Bethel's father of the house, Pastor Bill Johnson, was laying on a sofa sleeping.  I went over and put a blanket on him just as a mom would.  Then Bill Johnson came up beside me and said, "Let's go walk together."

We then went outside and walked the city streets for a very long time, as he chatted to me and I mostly listened.  I woke up at 4 am from this vivid dream and knew that God was speaking to me.  Pastor Bill Johnson believes "by His stripes we are healed." I thanked him for answering my prayers so quickly, and for reminding me that what we believe about healing is the truth found in God's Word.  My experiences do not change the truth that God wants us well.  

A week later while I was reading Havilah's book I read, "If God said it, that settles it."  She went on to write about how exhausted we become when we fight our battles from a defensive position.  In a defensive mode our goal to is protect ourselves.  It is a place where we fight is response to fear.  Well, I certainly have responded in fear to what has been going on in my body and our world.  Reacting is not wrong, it is the way we were created, but if we continually respond and live on high alert, it is damaging to our bodies.  She explained that it is so much better to respond to our struggles from what she describes as a discovery mode.  A discovery mode means that we resist the enemy  but we do so from a place of knowing that if God said it, that settles it.  We have an assurance that we have all we need inside of us ~ that same power that raised Jesus from the dead who gives us the victory.  We have already won our battles because if God said it, that settles it.  We do not respond from a place of fear, because we know we are called to a place of victory.

Throughout all the medical garbage I have gone through, the 27 years of Lyme, the three diagnoses with cancer, the eyes, the skin.  Through it all I have never walked alone.  God has always been there for me.  I get that.  In the past nearly 6 years Joel and I have learned there is so much more that God wants to give us.  So much more of Him, of His purpose, of His healing.  My dream about Bill Johnson, who believes as we believe, was a gift from God to affirm that no matter my experiences, this is the journey we are on.  This is the truth He wants us to share.  Healing is from God, and it is available to all who believe and use the authority given to us by Holy Spirit who lives in us.  God's Word speaks of healing, Jesus healed ALL who came to Him, and He told us to go out and "Heal the sick, cast our demons, cleanse the lepers and raise the dead."  (Matt. 10)

It is coming up on the 6th anniversary of Joel's miraculous 4 am healing, so my writings will focus on that amazing time in our lives.  My words I am focusing on this year are "so grateful", so with that in mind I am grateful today for the healing that has taken place in my body and Joel's.   I am so grateful for the Word that teaches us about healing and salvation. I am so grateful for the close relationship Papa God wants with us.   I am so grateful for the dream He gave me.  I am so grateful for Havilah Cunnington's words written in her book that have affirmed for me............"If God said it, that settles it!"  No matter my experiences, no matter the battles I face, we all face, God's Word and His promises hold the answers for us.  If God said it?  That settles it!

Catching Up

Yesterday we met with long time friends at a restaurant off of the Interstate.  They were on their way back home after a short trip to visit family, and to give us more time to catch up we met them about 20 minutes from our home.  It had been a few years and even though we knew our friend Allen was having many health challenges now, we were still surprised. He is just shy of turning 90, a retired Methodist pastor from the deep south who was sent first to Iowa and then to Minnesota to serve congregations.  In the Methodist church you are assigned congregations. 

Joel met Allen when we were living in Zimmerman Mn in the mid 80's and they soon became friends.  When he married Susan, Joel was his best man.  They have now been married 30 years, she being several years younger.  They adopted children to add to his older grown sons, and with our adopted children we had yet another connection.  Allen is a gentle man with compassion that runs deep.  When our lives were threatened by a man who wanted to end Joel's life, one who did not like our multi-racial family, Allen was there for us.  The man who threatened Joel had a restraining order so could not come within a certain number of yards of us.......so he started going to Allen's church.  We found irony in that, since he was such a prejudice man and Allen is African American.  I think God wanted to teach that broken, hateful man a few things!

Seeing Allen and Susan again has had me thinking about old friendships.   We have a few long time friends that we have stayed connected to for many many years, mostly from a distance.  Our hearts are warmed when thinking about John S and others from our time at the Lutheran Bible Institute, Marge and Dick from our time in Utah, Montana friends from the early 80's, Marilyn from Mn, Dan and Barb from seminary days, Jim and Linda from my high school days, George and Helen from the Philippines.  And many more.  It is one of the reasons I love Christmas~ cards and letters, pictures and packages fill the mailbox and we get to hear how they are doing. 

We are all aging.  Life has been kinder to some than others.  Some have spent their lives in one place while others have moved around the country, the world.  Everyone of us has a different story to share, but what unites us all is our faith.  We all are believers in Jesus as Savior. I like that. 

We are so grateful for our visit with Allen and Susan.  So grateful for long time friends.  So grateful for a faith that unites and a love that sustains.  As the Christmas season begins, our trips to the mailbox hold more anticipation.  Connections with family and long time friends.  A time for catching up!