Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday to you from our corner of the world where the weather has been great!  Partly cloudy skies, temperatures in the low 80's and no humidity to complain about.  The low 70's are forecast for this coming week, a lovely way to welcome August~ with September temperatures!

We had to put our pitiful garden to rest this week.  No sunshine, no growth, no veggies.......We tried but we failed.  So it goes.  I think next year we are going to put climbing flowers that like the shade in the structure Joel made.  My black eyed Susan ivy died this week too.  That was another learning curve.  It was dying so I trimmed it back where it was dead and the next day, literally the next day my favorite plant was mostly dead.  Note to self:  Don't trim back the Ivy! When Joel took it out of the hanging pot he said he had never seen such a root bound plan before, so that added to it I am sure.  I will say, our many sturdy geraniums are doing well and keep blooming.  Thank heavens for geraniums!

Speaking of thanking Heaven, I was able to visit this week with a friend I have known for 61 years.  She is walking through the death of her husband after 50 plus years together.  She and all of us take great comfort in knowing he is in Heaven now!  Her faith, courage, and determination were inspiring, and don't we need some inspiration now days?  It reminds me of a simple song we learned with our kids while living in the Philippines decades ago.........."Heaven is a Wonderful Place".

Heaven is a wonderful place for sure, yet here we are on earth embracing each day, right?  So, besides spending too much time talking with my Mayo doctor about the "after Zometa" life I am living, it has been a good week here.  Joel has been busy doing projects including, to my excitement, getting the windows washed!  Love to see them sparkle.  He is riding his bike 10-15 miles most days and has over 800 miles in.  I am doing a little baking since our #10 of blueberries arrived from the Mennonites. Physical therapy is going well.  Always enjoy visiting with my therapist.  I finished a 1,000 piece puzzle that had been a bit challenging and have now started another.  We discovered a "new to us" show on Amazon Prime that originated on public broadcasting, "Frankie Drake Mysteries".  Takes place in the 20's and is about two women detectives in Toronto.  Quite light and enjoyable!

Our oldest son turned 49 last week.  My goodness!  Just seems like we were 49 ourselves.  Our oldest is 50, our youngest 33.  We are so grateful for how well they and their families are all doing ~~sure love and miss the grands!  It has been way too long since we have seen any of them.  We did some reminiscing with our oldest son this past week as he has an amazing memory.  As he brought so many things back to us, it was great to remember and reflect on good times......

Speaking of good times, we kind of need to look back and remember good times as we face this uncertain world.  Division reigns.  Conspiracy theories stink up the air. Facts and lies get blended together and confusion rises.  People spend a great deal of time on social medias pointing the finger at each other, ripping each other apart.   It is all exhausting.  Sometimes we just need to sit back, take a deep breath and remember when............remember when people could have different opinions and still be friends?   And then there is the coronavirus that continues to kill, steal, and destroy.  It seems we are all flying on the seat of our pants (an old saying) on this one.  What is right changes, what is wrong changes, and what we know for sure we don't know for sure! When things look dark, scary, confusing, irritating, and all those other adjectives, it may be time to take another deep breath, be still, and remember that everything else may change but Jesus is the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow.  Yes He is.  He is our Healer.  He is our Protector.  He is our Provider.  He fights our battles.  Just be still in His Presence.

So on yet another weekend in a season where we can lose track of the days, we give thanks.  So grateful for our too far away families, for great weather, projects getting done, puzzles to distract, long time friends, new TV shows to get lost in, God's Word at our fingertips, sturdy geraniums, and of course delicious blueberries!

Enjoy your weekend!

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday to you from Iowa where this time of year heat and humidity are in abundance.  So are flowers, corn on the cob, and watermelon.  Loving the watermelon!

Speaking of watermelon it reminded me of one summer when we lived in St. Paul, MN.  We were close to Como Park, Zoo, ad Conservatory.  We had a family picnic one day at Como park and held a "watermelon seed spitting" contest  For some reason I could spit the seed really far that day.....maybe it was all my practice of spitting out sunflower seeds.  When our kids were young and first played sports I was always nervous for them and did not want to embarrass the kids with blurting out anything.....so I would crack the shells, separate the seed itself and spit out the shells from my mouth to keep my tongue busy!  So talented!  Okay then.......back to the watermelon!  Watermelon is soooo good for you and we are now spoiled by the seedless ones.   A delicious snack or with a meal.

Speaking of food, yesterday I fixed fried liver for the first time in decades.  No onions since I can no longer tolerate them..... but I now remember why I used Ketchup to eat it in the past.  While I ate it I told myself it was medicine for my body and medicine is not supposed to taste good!  You see, the Covid test came back negative, yippee, so I could go to my first oncology appointment with a PA here in town.  My original Dr. who knew my body well, retired.  This woman did not think my symptoms were from the Zometa and did every test known to mankind to figure out why I was struggling so much.  So, that was important to rule things out, right?  Every test was good except thyroid was a bit low (may be from the radiation on right side of neck) and my iron was one point from too low.  I read at the Mayo site that Zometa commonly causes anemia.  I don't have that but do have iron deficiency so thus the liver.........and organic beef.  For someone who has eaten beef only 4-5 times in the past 2 1/2 decades, and mostly our brother-in-law's amazing Akaushi beef at that ~ it is a big deal.  Besides ordering a sublingual, made in America, all good stuff iron supplement I will be adding beef to the menu.  And more liver.  Maybe.  Joel says, "the body remembers the taste but the mind wishes it didn't!"  It is all medicine, right?

Fixing liver had me remembering when I fixed it for our kids.  There are only two meals that they still have traumatic memories about  as adults.......one was the liver I fixed and the other was when I was gone and their dad took asparagus he had picked in a Montana ditch and mixed it with everything he could find in the fridge........then threw it in the oven and called it a hotdish, the Midwestern word for casserole.  According to the kids it was awful and when I came back home they begged me to never leave them to their dad's cooking again!  He has gotten a lot better since then, although he will still fix himself a tortilla and put everything leftover in the fridge in it!  Needless to say, he is easy to cook for when I'm in the kitchen!

We don't get to see our family often, nor extended family for that matter.  But one thing we can count on is praying for each other and I just love that.  If something comes up, the texting starts and the prayer chain expands to siblings, to our kids, to grandkids and if needed church prayer chains.  It is such a comfort to know that people are praying!  What an amazing gift to have.  Prayer.

Speaking of praying, we could sure use it here in our country.  A turning to God in unison.....intercessory prayer and praise. Not for what we think is right or good or needs to be done, but I'm thinking a surrendering prayer asking God to step in and do His work in our country, our states, our cities, and in the hearts of people as we all attempt to live in this "new normal".

Speaking of that, how are you filling your days?  Besides too many Dr. appointments this week, I have been working on a 1,000 piece puzzle.  The first 1/3 of it was NOT relaxing, but frustrating and slow but I soon realized that I needed to take my time, relax, enjoy, and celebrate small successes!  ha!  The last 2/3 has been a better go with the flow approach.......and that has been fun.  It is kinda like life right now........go with the flow.  "Don't worry, be happy...."  While making good choices for yourself.  We have noticed that some people have gone back to the old way of living, with their own reasons for not masking, or taking precautions.  Others, like us, are still being very cautious, masking, sanitizing, and social distancing.  Last night I watched a TV show of home videos that have popped up since people are social distancing or staying home.  There are so many creative people out there!  Finding fun and the positive in the midst of a not so fun pandemic!

With gratitude this week I am giving thanks for air conditioning, watermelon, worship music, connecting with family, praying and being able to pray for others, liver (?), Amazon that delivers so quickly, our amazing dermatologist, laughter with Joel, puzzles that teach me about how to do life, and good memories to look back on.  How about you?
Enjoy your weekend!

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday to you from hot and humid Iowa where dew points are in the mid to high 70's and the heat index is going to be in the 105 range today.  Are we having fun yet???  It is just plain oppressive.  It is windy which is a really good thing for anyone having to be out in this weather.

Speaking of that my husband is one who starts a project and has this inbuilt need to finish what he starts sooner rather than later.  Today when he told me he was going out while it was "cool" to work on his project I pulled rank (do I even have that?) and told him that is great but you are not going out the door until you promise me, I mean pinkie swear promise me that you will close up shop and be done by noon.  About 20 minutes to 12 I opened the garage door and told him he had 19 minutes left.......cuz that is what good wives do, they take care of their husbands when they don't take care of themselves!

It has been another week of crapola.  Yep.  My attitude has not been too great about it all.  I am still waiting for the Covid test results.  There are times I wish we were back "home" in Minnesota and this is one of them.  Covid testing results take less than 24 hours up in the Twin Cities, and 4-6 DAYS here.  Seriously?  At this point in the pandemic that seems absurd.  But then a lot does seem absurd in our present world, doesn't it.  So in a moment of frustration I decided to forget resting, cuz I am not very good at it and pushed myself hard on Thursday to do just some normal stuff.....yesterday I could not function at all....I actually felt I needed to be seen by a doctor due to how sick I was..........and not one clinic anywhere in town would see me.  Nope.  Nada.  Urgent Care............when you have a Covid test pending?  Not urgent enough.   I actually talked to 4 different nurses or staff people, two  because of their concern over my symptoms.  I was told to go to ER.  Not a safe place when our numbers have quadrupled in last 3 weeks and deaths here are up 1,100 %.  So I rested, prayed and now today is another day.  And today I am doing just a little and resting a lot.  Can I just say it?  This sucks!  We will be relieved to know it is not CoVid but then we will still be left with what the Zometa has done to me.

Okay, enough of that.....

Some early mornings I join Joel out on our porch for a little porch sitting.  The birds are singing, the breezes are flowing and sometimes our chimes join in.  Today God reminded me once again that He has not forgotten me.....Let me explain.  Yesterday morning I told Joel I was having difficulty not feeling forgotten by God as I struggle with so much weakness and fatigue.  Soon after we had devotions and 2x it came up that "God has not forgotten you.  He has not forgotten His promises He gave you."  Those two reminders went along with the one I saw on Facebook with the same "theme".  When I get things in three's I pay attention.  God is speaking.  Today as we sat on the porch a beautiful cardinal came up and sat on the shepherd's hook holding one of our planters.  It was in full view for us to enjoy.  We had not seen one yet this summer and it happens to be my favorite bird of all.  I had to smile.  God was reminding me......He is here, loving on me, and helping me to remember He has not forgotten me.  That lie I was speaking?  It is just that.  A lie.  Don't you just love when God shows up at just the right moment of time.  He is a good good Father.

I saw this posted on Facebook which made me think about the family theme song my extended family sings for any reunions...."You Are My Sunshine".  In present times, let's all make the effort be someone's sunshine when their skies are grey.  And lets remember, too, that when Jesus is our SONshine, skies are never grey for long!

When we were sitting outside I asked Joel if that truck that just drove by was the new "witness protection" people?  He laughed....You see not too far away from us a house sold about 18 months ago to some people from Florida or somewhere like that.  Joel intentionally went to meet them,  but after that we never saw them.  Outside.  Nada.  Driving by.....seldom.  And then all of a sudden a moving van pulled up and some other people moved in.  When did the other couple move out?  (Can you tell we have way too much time on our hands here ???)  Another neighbor came by one day after a walk and said he thought those people that left were in the witness protection program and that is why they were invisible most of the time.  And just disappeared.  Hmmmmmm   We still laugh about that!  I think we all need our lives back so we too busy to notice such things!  (giggle)  Those are the benefits or not? of living in our friendly neighborhood!

Speaking of benefits, lets think about all those things we are grateful for!  For us it would be chatting with family members and friends on the phone and with texting, talks with each other. Prayers of others.  Thankful for those we know who are doing so well after surgeries.  So grateful for cardinals, laughter, homemade cookies, comfy furniture, Joel's garage shop, TV, books, teachings, mysterious going on's, Joel's many bike rides,  breezes, A/C , sunrises and sunsets, and another day of sunshine and SONshine!  What is on your list this week?

Enjoy the weekend!

Well, That Was Just A Little To The Right Of Crazy!

I have waited in lines for as many years as I can remember, especially when in the military. One that comes to mind is when we lived in the Philippines and I would go grocery shopping after payday.  The line would sometimes wrap around the building as we stood outside in the oppressive heat and humidity to get a cart and move inside.  When inside I would shop with the hope that not everything I needed was already scooped up by others hoping the same.  When shopping was finished there would be a long line to check out.  This happened most every time I went to the Air Force commissary in the P.I.

Yes, I have stood in line for a number of things over the years,  but I never thought I would be in line so someone could stick a swab far up my nose as a test for Covid-19.  Before I tell you how it came to that, let me tell you that Joel and I will be absolutely shocked if it comes back positive.  Even so, in the past I have been surprised by test results often enough to be cautionary with my thinking I know the answer before the lab does.

The past 5 days I have felt worse that ever since the Zometa infusion three weeks ago.  When I emailed my Mayo doctor about all the symptoms and how they had progressively gotten worse, I received an email within two hours saying my doctor wanted me to be tested for Covid ASAP.  I was stunned, and when I told Joel he reacted the same way.  She had her reasons, so after a short discussion I decided I better rule it out.  That way we will all know whether all my symptoms are from a virus or a drug that helps your bones but hit this body hard!  And, I admit, I need to work at letting the doctor be the doctor......So that is how I found myself showing up for my "appointment",  in a short line of cars, all with occupants waiting for testing.

When our oldest daughter went to Texas with her hubby they saw a sign that reminded them of us....we had just experienced Joel's overnight healing and our gifts of a prayer language and the sign said...."West of Weird, Texas".  Another friend's husband, when hearing our story said to us, "Well that is just a little to the right of crazy isn't it!"  We laughed and laughed over his response.  Not offended at all, in fact Joel's book about his healing, which will soon be self-published, is entitled, "A Little To The Right Of Crazy".  It is how we define our lives a lot now, and today when the test was finished and we drove away, I turned to Joel and said, "Well, that was just a little to the right of crazy wasn't it".

How did we get to this place in 2020?  I can guarantee that people will talk about this year for decades to come.  It was the year that......................... Yeah.  Since there are still 5 months left I'm not holding my breath or making any predictions that it will get better.  I believe we just need to hang on, it is going to be a bumpy ride.

Speaking of hanging on, today the nurse said to me, if you need to grab someone's arm when I am doing this test, grab "his", not mine.  And just like me grabbing hold of Joel's hand for support, we all know that God would love to hold our own hand as we walk through life.  He wants us to grab on, and He will see us through. He promises to hold us with His "righteous hand".  Yes, Lord.  West of weird?  Yep.  To the right of crazy?  Oh yeah. 2020........Maybe at the end of this year we will all say, "That was just a little to the right of crazy"......

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday to you from our corner of the world where heat and humidity have covered us like a suffocating cloud all week.  Stifling.  That is the word.  Extra grateful for our air conditioning and not having to be out in the 90-100 heat index.  Thursday afternoon we had a storm roll in and our area got over 2 1/2 inches of rain.  The temperature cooled off and we took advantage of it, sitting on the porch and enjoying the cooler breezes.  So nice..........

Thursday Joel decided to get a little "domestic" work done.  He got Nora going to take care of the floors on the main level before taking the steamer mop to them.  Who is Nora?  Nora is our iRobot Rooma our oldest son and his family got us a couple of Christmases ago.  We named her Nora after our faithful maid we had while living in the Philippines.  She would clean and do many household chores with a baby on each hip.  Some of the weekly cleaning had to be done every day there due to the bug population. She was heaven sent.

While we were talking about getting Nora busy on the floors I tried to remember the official name. of the robot.  A Roomba?  Maybe a Zumba?  It had me thinking about all the confusing words that are being thrown around out there.  There are Zubaz those colorful sweatpants that our son-in-law K. liked to wear in the 90's.  There is Zumba the latest exercise craze too.  And then there is Roomba.........that round robot with a mind of it's own that does the floors for you.  Maybe you can see how I might get confused on a bad health day and forget what Nora's official name is!

Speaking of a bad health day, I could use some extra prayers concerning the side effects from the Zometa infusion nearly 3 weeks ago.  I have been struggling with some nasty symptoms that have me spending way too much time on the sofa.  I see the oncologist on the 20th but I know they can't really do anything for this.  It is in me to stay for awhile.......Prayer is my first "go-to" guys, so thanks for praying.

Speaking of praying, last week Joel cut my hair at my urging.  He was not too excited about doing it but since it is mostly curls what was the harm?  I cut the sides and he cut the back.  It feels better and looks more uniform, but I am still hanging on to hope that it will grow more on top.  Like soon...........yesterday even!  If not?  A plan B will be put into affect.......a new normal I guess.

Speaking of normal, does anyone else feel there is nothing much normal about 2020?   A year where we looked forward to having a normal life again exploded, imploded, and regurgitated.  It has released fear, anger, hate, confusion, exhaustion, loneliness, weariness, and wariness, in people, and I'm thinking a whole lot more c.r.a.z.y.  It kind of feels a bit like the picture above...........if 2020 were a train ride!  But it does not end there.  I keep clinging to the verse in Romans that tells us God will work all things together for good.....He will.  He does.  It looks like the train has derailed and the tracks cannot be put back together again, but they can.  It is kind of like singing that song............"Jesus Take The Wheel".  Jesus, get us on the right train tracks again Lord as we move slowly into a new normal.  We are relying on your promises!

This early morning we sat on the porch enjoying the weather before the temperatures rise.  We watched squirrels chasing each other, a rabbit graze in our yard, and several kinds of birds greeting each other to start the day I'm thinking!  There was no sign of the doe and her baby fawn around today.  Then we ventured out for a drive.  I just had to get off the sofa and out of the house and so we went to a little town nearby and visited their organic store.  Then headed back to our micro-city to the garden center/market we go to and Joel went in and picked up fresh watermelon, peaches, and corn on the cob.  The last purchases were so good we needed more!  Yesterday Joel shopped for groceries too buying large quantities of the things we use a lot.  We are trying to stretch out the store shopping again since the cases in our country, although small in comparison to big cities, have quadrupled in the last three weeks!

Joel was busy this week with woodworking, biking, shopping, and a bit of cleaning.  I was busy with attempting to walk daily , cook a little, do a puzzle, write, read, and rest.  Rest seems to be my middle name although that is gonna change! I refuse to partner with that way of life!

Speaking of life, I sure hope yours is going well in mid July.  All is good here where the Iowa corn is tasseling as the heat is rising.  We are grateful we live with some space around us so we can be out and enjoy nature. 

Enjoy your weekend!

Saturday's Scribbles

It is raining and windy here this Memorial Day Saturday with temperatures hoping to reach 70.  Rain is forecast for the weekend with some heat and humidity "blessing" us tomorrow.  It began raining heavy in the night so Joel got up and 3:30 am and went downstairs to sit on the front porch and enjoy the rain.  Everything looks so very green, many shades, with bursts of red, yellow, pink, and more everywhere.  This year especially, I am soaking it up. It's great to be alive, isn't it?!

Speaking of green, Joel made a mini-garden for our back deck in the hopes that we can grow green beans and cucumbers without the deer and rabbits coming to nibble.  He did a good job, using my nephew Bill and his wife Deb's own container garden as an example to follow.  The rabbit family that lives under our deck is so cute with their babies hopping around now, but they are eating our hostas!  Hopefully not our veggies!  The price we pay for nature.  The deer love to come through our yard on their way to the river so they graze on our lilies upfront.  Ugh....I don't like the deer because deer mean Lyme ticks and ticks mean Lyme Disease.

Green beans, cucs, and potted basil

Joel also managed to get a big dead branch down from a locust tree that hangs over our deck   yesterday.  It was up pretty high but our neighbor suggested he use a weighted rope to get it instead of standing on a ladder and sawing with a long extended sharp clipper on one end.  To risky.  It made me nervous to watch anyway, so I went inside and kept busy, telling him to just let me know when it was done!

This weekend we remember those who died serving our country.  We also remember those we loved who have died.  Too many to number at this time of our lives.  Grateful for them and how they shaped our lives. 

So this past week we ventured to the garden center once again, adding a couple of flower baskets to our few outside.  Tuesday was my eye shot again and I got a phone call Monday telling me to wear a mask and that my driver had to wait outside.  I was not happy about that since I cannot remember the last time I went without Joel, well, anywhere except the radiation room.  When I got into the clinic the staff ( who see me every 3 weeks and in some ways have gone through this cancer journey with me also) asked me where Joel was.  They are used to visiting with him.  I told them about the phone call and they said that is not our policy, must be a Des Moines policy.  My response was "Oh, good.  You know how people have therapy dogs?  I have a therapy husband!"   Just like in the past, they keep me separate from others and try to "whisk me in and out".  It makes me uncomfortable to say the least, but the nurse will have it no other way.

This morning one float with High School senior band members came through town and into our association playing their instruments.  This is Band Festival weekend where bands come from all over to play in a parade.  It is Meredith Wilson weekend here!  It has been cancelled but I expect the seniors got creative and paraded around town playing, being this is their last year.   There have been so many great ways people are connecting and having special experiences as they have had to set aside the normal things we have all taken for granted.

We are giving thanks today that my sister Jo who raised me, Gr. Jo to our family, is now home from the hospital after spending nearly a week there alone.  Alone.  No one could visit her, and she was too weak to spend more than a few minutes on the phone.   It is a strange and sad season we are in the midst of.  My sister Janelle advocated for her with nurses and doctors via the phone as they tried to take care of her and figure out her health issues with her lungs and heart.  Thankfully, two Covid tests were negative, they have gotten a few answers, and she can now be home with Janelle caring for her and Home Health Care in the picture.  It would not be safe for her in rehab with so much Covid-19 in her area and in care facilities.  Please keep her in prayer.

Mayo Clinic called this week as we made the decision I would go to their breast clinic for my after cancer care.  They are so diligent and thorough, and like our oldest son said, "Mom if you have to be seen every three months and followed for surveilance and after care you might as well have the A-Team."  So I head over mid June for a consult and exam and probably infusions for my bone care. I will also need to go back for physical therapy due to issues returning where nodes were removed and radiation took place.  It seems that the bi-lateral mastectomy, chemo and radiation are the "gifts" that keeps on giving.

We continue to mostly shelter in place, social distance, and just plain avoid people, places and things that are not necessary.  It is not easy, but we feel it is the best way for us to live right now.  We do not make our choices out of fear.  We miss life as it was, but just don't feel God is telling us anything different right now. We are so grateful for online worship that you can go to, any time any place anywhere.  We have been doing that for years and now all the services we attend are at home.

Joel and I have both been reading more lately....another Covid blessing.  Joel is reading his friend John Skipper's memoir and I am reading a book our oldest daughter sent me for Mother's Day...the best seller "The Nightingale".  Both are so good!  What are you reading?

Grateful.  We are so very grateful for being able to have a mini garden, enjoy some beautiful flowers, listen to the rain, even in the middle of the night from the front porch.  We are grateful our family is doing well, we can walk or bike, chat with neighbors across the street, pick up a phone and call loved ones, have the doors and windows open and smell Spring!  What are you grateful for this weekend?

Enjoy your Memorial Day Weekend!

Leave Nothing Unsaid

Monday I read a story about a woman who wrote about the death of her father from Covid-19.  He had gone into the hospital for a problem that had come up, as easy fix, especially since her dad was a healthy 76 year old.  Just two days later he was diagnosed with Covid-19.  She believed he would make it through the virus, he was strong and healthy for his age....for any age.  But very quickly he ended up alone in the hospital, dying as the virus destroyed his lungs.  Even though she lived just a few minutes away, her only communication with him was when the nurse laid his phone on the pillow by his ear and she talked to him....even though he could not talk to her.  She talked for hours, and listened to him breathe for hours.  She set up a conference call with her siblings and they all spent hours talking to him about their good memories with the father they loved.  Eventually his breathing labored, but he hung on.   They finally took a break from their phone conference, and soon after he died.  In a hospital, alone while his family grieved their great loss.  Less than 10 people at the funeral as allowed, they buried the father they loved.

THIS is Covid-19 at it's worse and it is happening over and over again every day somewhere in America.  I could not help but shed tears reading her detailed story that began as emails to friends and family and eventually was posted on Facebook.  Tragic, painful, and so real and raw, just as death is.

Yesterday a sweet friend, Linny Saunders from Place Called Simplicity wrote on Facebook about the death of her mom from Covid-19. She was very open about it, and I am sharing only what she shared online.   Her heart is broken, like so many others as they are separated from those they love.  Linny was able to be on Face Time with her mom for two hours, saying everything she wanted to say to her....she left nothing unsaid.  Her mom could not respond, but did make enough sounds twice for Linny to know she was being heard.  From thousands of miles away Linny poured out her heart, telling her mom that she wanted her to stay on earth and come live with them, but if she wanted to go home to Jesus and the loved ones who have gone before her.....that was okay.  There is deep comfort in knowing where her mom is and Who welcomed her home, but the pain and sadness are real and we mourn with her the loss of her mom.

As a pastor, my husband has been by the bedside of many people as they took their last breath.  He has stood vigil with families, prayed with families, grieved with families.  We both stood with others by the bedside of my mom when she took her last breath.  Many of you have stood by the bedsides of those you love as they left this world and God welcomed them home.   With this monster Covid, I am not sure who it is more difficult for right now, the patient or the family.   This dying alone separated by a virus that has no boundaries and no mercy.  The isolation so palpable.   I believe both the victims and families can hold on to the hope that Jesus is with them in the hospital.  They are not alone as they appear.  Sometimes it is the nurses that are physically with them, but we also know that Jesus and His ministering angels are right there in the room.  It may not feel like it is enough for those who grieve, but it is something.  Something and Someone to hold on to as loss overwhelms.

Recently one governor told people to be sure to let your loved ones know how much you care about them....."leaving nothing unsaid."  During this unsettling time, I find that Joel and I discuss dying more.  What we would do if one of us gets Covid, and if God forbid we do and one of us ends up in the hospital, then what decisions will we make.  We hug each other more. We intentionally laugh more together.   We are more grateful for each day together..........even more so than when I battled cancer this past couple of years.  As a pastor and pastor's wife, as a 4 time survivor of cancer, as elderly who have lost loved ones in death, we understand it as much as we can I guess, and are grateful for each day we wake up to.  At least that is our intention.  We are trying to leave nothing unsaid............

And maybe that is one thing we can all do. One thing we can learn from this virus pandemic.   Put aside differences, grudges, fears, and what more?  Just leave nothing unsaid with those you love and care about.  Make things right with God, and then make things right with family and friends.  Because life is unsettling and unpredictable right now.  We hope for the future, we believe there will be a future, but we also live and breathe in the reality that we have just today.  Today we can reach out and leave nothing good unsaid.  It is a good way to live even when there is no destructive virus eating away at our country.  Let us leave nothing unsaid.

Where Is That Cabin In Alaska!

It has come to this............binge watching Life Below Zero and repeats of Death In Paradise and Magnum P.I.  Well, not really binging as we keep to our routine most days, while throwing in a game or two of cribbage or Scrabble.  But there are times when we (mostly me) escape through TV.  It has taken me back to a time when we were younger and had a house full of young kids "things" would sometimes feel overwhelming.  After seeing the movie, "Adventures Of The Wilderness Family" in 1979, whenever I felt like I needed a day away from it all, I would say, "It is time to move to that cabin in Alaska."  Of course I was not thinking about all the extra work involved in living off the grid, I just wanted to escape life in the moment!

Today I woke up and thought, "Nothing has changed since our world completely changed".  We are still in the nightmare to beat all nightmares.  We are still isolating at home.  We are still hearing from medical providers, including Mayo to cancel, reschedule, postpone, or set up video or phone appointments.  We are still searching for disinfectant in any way shape or form.  Still searching for cloth masks or figuring out how to make one that does not use rubber bands to hold it in place.  We are still watching the economy break, watching people we know struggle financially and in their jobs.   We are still unable to go anywhere but out for groceries.  We are still..............we are still...........

Yep, I woke up crabby and decided not to infect Joel with my poor attitude today. It is okay to be down and out, as someone very dear to me said, "We need to cut ourselves some slack....we are dealing with loss, with grief.  So very true.   Be kind to ourselves.....I was determined today to shift the atmosphere from darkness to light so I decided to take "action" this morning.  I cleaned a bathroom, did some mending, walked in the house 20 minutes,   Music played and my mind focused on what is "still the same" but now in a comforting way.  We still celebrated Easter.  In fact we watched 4 different Easter services on Sunday and Monday!  We still have a full freezer and fridge....plent of food, maybe too much?!!  We can still connect with our kids ~ on Easter it was by Zoom.  So fun to see there faces!  We still have everything we need and more in this season of our lives.  All I need to do is look around me....you too?  Yes.  And even though we are in the vulnerable category for this virus, we also are retired and have no job worries.  We are still able to reach out to God and He. Is. Here. For. Us. Never changing, always faithful.

Today may have had me thinking about that cabin in Alaska as I did so many years ago, but time and experience tells me that there is no need to be overwhelmed when we put our trust in God.  Joel and I read Psalm 91 this morning in several translations.  It is all about being safe and secure as we are tucked in the Secret Place under His wings.  He is bigger than any "pestilence" (virus).  Seeking shelter with God is truly better than any cabin I would want to escape to in the wilderness of Alaska!

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday to you from our corner of Iowa where Spring is playing hide and seek with the Upper Midwest. Rain, snow, wind, and more wind arrived Thursday.  Today it is supposed to rain with serious accumulating snow forecast for tomorrow!  It is mid April and we are in a winter storm watch......What?

Thursday Joel decided to ride, even with very blustery winds.  As he bundled up and got his bike ready, we suddenly had snow.  Swirling blizzard like snow!  It was brief enough he could wait and try again just a few minutes later.  The sun would be shining one minute and the next it would be snowing!  Strange.  He did manage 10 miles in 36 degree weather with winds steady at 22 mph and gusting to who knows what.  Cabin fever had him ignoring the elements and heading out into the weather!

This has been another shelter in place week.  We did venture out for my eye injection and I wrote about that on Wednesday.  I had to use a bandanna and rubber bands for a mask!  Otherwise, we stay within the four (or more) walls of our house or 4 corners of our yard except for walks and bike rides in our association.   We have started cleaning and purging one room at a time.  The office was first ~~ one down and 8 rooms to go!  Joel is thrilled about it.......(grin)   It is nice to have clean curtains and ceiling fans, etc.  We are trying not to gain the "15 quarantine" pounds I have read about on Facebook,  I wonder how many people are eating more........or drinking more?  We don't drink alcohol, but we do eat!

This past Monday Joel was drilling something in the garage and was distracted, forgetting to clamp down the object he was drilling.  The object moved and the drill slipped and ripped into his thumb.  He lost a chunk  of the meaty part of his thumb!  It bled a good 18 hours and then began to heal.  No stitches needed since a wide patch of thumb is just plain gone.  And no way he was going to an ER or Urgent Care at this time!  That was enough drama for the two of us!

Speaking of drama, our world continues to be so unsettled as the Covid-19 virus continues to ravage our country.  I often find myself whispering, "Lord have mercy"......There is a bit of hope rising from the ashes and we hang on to that knowing what happens on the east and west coasts eventually comes to the center of the country.  The good and the bad.  We continue to shelter in place with social distancing the name of the game.  And here we are in the midst of it all, attempting to focus on Holy Week.  Holy Week and Easter are a wonderful time to reflect and renew.  We have continued to watch church livestream but last night chose TBN's Chris Tomlin worship with pastor Max Lucado.  It was a blessing for us both.

Of course I have been thinking back on when our home was filled with kids.  Easter weekend was always a very busy time.  On Saturday everyone's clothes had to be ready for Sunday and with raising up to 8 kids, that took time.  Then there were the eggs to get boiled and decorate.  With so many of us, we boiled several dozen to dip and dye, using wax color crayons to write and draw on them the names of those we loved and cared about. We also baked and decorated an Easter Bunny cake and prepared for our traditional Cure 81 Ham dinner ( I am from the hometown of Hormel!) which always meant a spiced cherry sauce topping and a few other special dishes.   Of course once the kids went to bed the Easter Bunny would always ask for our help to fill and hide the baskets for our household. They would be filled with candy, gum, eggs, and books.  In the middle of this Joel was busy getting through Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter services.  Sometimes for three churches, a couple of times for two  and a few for just one.  It just depended on where he was serving. Yes, Easter was a very busy time.......of course that has changed over the years.  The kids grew up, left home, created families and traditions of their own.  We are used to being alone for most holidays now, but this year is unusual to say the least.  We try to remember, it is not forever, but just for now We are blessed to be able to worship from home!  Celebrating together through technology that Christ has risen! 

On this unusual Easter weekend, we look back on so many places we have worshiped with family, friends, parishners in Illinois, New Mexico, Utah, Montana, The Philippines, several places in Minnesota, and now Iowa.  Tomorrow Easter churches may be empty, but Easter celebrations continue.  We pray your Easter is filled with the joy of knowing Jesus!  Oh worship the King!!!