A Pulse? Then A Purpose

I have always been honest here in my writings, and that has not changed.  Yesterday morning I woke to a deep blanket of heaviness over me.  The treatment meds were causing me to be weak and tired, nauseated, I had stomach pain with cramps and diarrhea, and at times when I would stand we think my blood pressure was dropping.  Everything would get "bright" and close in on me.  I was also having symptoms of a UTI which were causing pain and frequent trips to the bathroom.  I could not stay up past 8:30 pm and have never desired more to be in a one level house.  The 17 steps to our bedroom at night completely exhaust me.

I woke up thinking..............why am I still here?  Heaven sounded so good.  No more pain, suffering, or fighting.  Just freedom.  I lay with my eyes closed and God gave me a short visual encounter.  Jesus and I were walking down a hallway with gold dust on the floor.  I knew we were in Heaven and Jesus opened a door and ushered me inside a big room filled with angels.  There were beautiful globes standing around and large maps of the world on the walls.  Angels were busy making plans for people around the world.  I noticed a small red heart in the middle of a large world map and as I focused on it everything moved in and I could see it was a heart right in the center of northern Iowa where we live.  It was a heart representing me.  I thought, "Well, God's angels are fighting for me."  Ok.  How could I not fight for myself if God's angels were fighting for me."

Soon I received a text from my sister Jan asking how my day was going.  I shared with her how discouraged I was and she sent out a prayer request to her prayer warriors, then sent me some of their and her encouraging words.  Later in  tihe day I listened to a voicemail from our oldest son, which gave me another boost of courage to keep going.

Joel requested I not take the pills yesterday, to give my body a break and see if symptoms subsided.  They did and I could actually eat a full meal at supper and stay up until 9pm.

Later in the day I received a book and card from my friend Katherine in New Hampshire.  The words she shared with me had me weeping.  They came on a day I really needed them.

In fact, God knew what I was going to be feeling and he sent messages from Heaven, from my sister and her friends, from our son Matt, and from Katherine.  I felt the spirit of heaviness lift some.  Today as we read devotions, Ana Werner said that a friend told her, "If we have a pulse, we have a purpose." I don't begin to know the purpose in all this, but I do still have a pulse and I can't help but see that God is aware of what I am going through.  That He is there with the encouraging words and prayers he has sent, not only yesterday, but throughout this journey.  Words from old friends, new friends, family, siblings, and last but never least, my Joel.

Today is a new day, the first day of 2019.  I woke up with a pulse......still here, still breathing.....still fighting.  In fact Joel and I played a game of Scrabble from the sofa.  It really tired me out, but we did it!  Yippee.....The pills are still knocking me for a loop, the antibiotics for the UTI are talking to me, the need to rest and nap is strong, but the fight goes on and most importantly the promises of God are holding us. 

I truly pray that 2019 is a year filled with "new things" that God brings your way.  Isaiah 43:16-19. Prayers for blessings, good health and much happiness for each and every one of you.  This is the day that the Lord has made......let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Trimming Trees and Attitudes

I was watching Joel trim trees today as he climbed up a ladder and used his tree trimmer to cut through small branches.  When he could not reach a few higher ones he went upstairs, took the screen off the window and went to work. 

This project was unearthed after last night when we listened to branches rub across the roof as high winds moved everything around that was not tied down.  Today turned out to be a good day to trim away the culprits before they did any damage to the roof or to our sleep pattern.  We kind like the 8 hours of sleep we manage most nights. 

It was mostly an easy fix, but it took effort, especially balancing out the window to get to the higher branches. At least Joel agrees to stay off our steep roof and leave those limbs to the professionals.  We also had someone come aerate our yard recently before Joel put seed down for next year.   It is all part of the fall work.  Soon we will wash windows one last time, mow one last time, and grill one last time before......Before.  Before winter comes knocking on our door.  Winter is not very welcome here by the two of us, but we will tolerate it.  Meanwhile we enjoy the beauty of fall.

Just like the trees, sometimes there are things we need to trim away in our lives.  Maybe it is a mindset.  Maybe it is an attitude.  A grudge.   Unforgiveness. God revealed to me last night that I need an attitude change.  That what is going on for us right now is not about me or us, but for others.  It is not always easy to trim away or remove what Holy reveals to us.   Trimming and cutting away takes some effort, but it is worthwhile o let go and let God. There is "work" to be done to prepare us for a better life, to help us be the best we can be according to God's plan for us and for others.  Today was a good day to trim trees and attitudes. 

A New Thing In Old Wrappings

A scripture given to us at Bethel Church

Joel has accepted a call to be a part time interim at two churches south of Mason City.  He began this past Saturday, preaching yesterday at St. Peter and St. Paul Lutheran churches in two small towns about twenty minutes apart. We left the house before eight and arrived home half past twelve.  It felt familiar, the routine of Joel up front and me in a pew.  As I said before, it was not on our radar.........or our bucket list, but it was on God's.  The journey to this decision was orchestrated by God.  It is a story to be shared.  

A few weeks ago a friend told me God had spoken a word to her for me.  "Tell Renee; to get ready.  I am going to be speaking to her."  I began praying, telling God I was ready and if I was not, then make me ready.  It was only a few days later that God showed up in my dreams.......

But first let me back up a bit.  A few weeks ago Joel told me that a pastor we knew had retired early to help out her brother, so at the time I wondered aloud if they had gotten an Interim yet.  He felt the people would be hiring a lay person who was helping out at the church already.  Then we ran into someone from that church In Rockwell IA where Joel was once an Interim.  After visiting with her  I remember thinking "They are going to want Joel for their Interim" since he had worked there before and they enjoyed him so much.   This did not really bring up any feelings for me since Joel was not interested in doing any Interim work.  He liked the "fill-in" Sunday work, leaving most of the week free for other pursuits.  But God......

A few weeks later Joel and I had just finished listening to the prophetic session we had experienced while at Bethel Church and were discussing the words spoken to us about doing a "new thing" , a new ministry, when the phone rang.  When Joel answered it an Asst. to the Bishop of our synod was on the other end asking if Joel was interested in being an Interim for the Lutheran churches in Rockwell and Thornton.  Joel looked at me and I said, "Say yes", then wished I could take back those words.  This would not be a new thing but more of the "old" ministry and that is exactly what I expressed to Joel as we discussed the possibility.  
During this time period is when our friend, who knew nothing about our current situation,  told me to "get ready".  Now...............the dream............

About 4 in the morning I woke up from a dream I had.  In the dream I was looking at what I thought was our SUV.  I heard God say, "I am giving you a new car."  I immediately began arguing with God...."We don't need a new car.  We like our car".  Joel was there and chimed in....."We like our car, we don't need a new car."  God said a second time, firmly..."I am giving you a new car!"  Then I woke up.

The next morning I told Joel about the dream and felt we were to meditate on it.  As soon as I closed my eyes Jesus was there taking my hand and saying, "Come with me."  I asked Him where we were going and He said, "For a ride."  Then he got into the driver's seat of what I believed was our SUV.  I got in the seat behind Jesus and Joel got in up front on the passenger's side.  I said, "Is this a new car?  Jesus said, "Yes."  I said, "It looks like our old car, but it is a new car?"  Jesus said yes and then threw his head back and laughed and laughed.  He then turned to me and said, "Let me drive."   I immediately found myself outside the car with Jesus.  I said, "Ummmm, thank you?"  And Jesus said, "Yes!  That is what I wanted to hear!"

This visual encounter and dream made things pretty clear to Joel and me.  So, out of obedience Joel interviewed with the churches and accepted a call to work part time as they transition and search for a new pastor.  This Interim position looked to me like something "old", not a new ministry.......but God was telling us something different.

A week ago we drove to Rochester MN, about 1 hour and 40 minutes from us, to attend Destiny Church, which is somewhat based on Bethel church in CA.   After church you could meet with someone who may have a prophetic word for you.  Three women met with Joel and me and once again God came through about us doing a new thing.......wrapped up in an "old package".  

It often amazes me how much God wants to speak to us and uses others to do so. I love hearing stories about how God has made His voice heard for His purposes.   For us there was no way to avoid what God was saying through our friend, the dream, the visual encounter and the prophetic words at Destiny church.  His message was clear.  We are grateful for how clearly God spoke to us about this position, grateful for the opportunity to serve others, grateful for God's guidance. We don't fully understand it, but God does.  Sometimes a "new thing" comes in old wrappings and we look forward to how God will unwrap this opportunity before us.  

Keep Rocking The Boat

Sunday we were to attend a celebration but it was cancelled,  so we headed to church at a local congregation.  We sometimes go with friends to their church ....other times we go to a large Lutheran church downtown, which is where we found ourselves yesterday.

After services a man we have known for over 20 years came over to me and expressed how good it was to see us there.  He then said, "Say, didn't you go to _______ Church for awhile?"  Even though this was not the first time he had brought this up to us, I replied, "Yes we did!  For over a year."  He asked, "So you go to this service on Sundays now?"  I replied, "Joel is still filling in most Sundays, but when he is not filling in somewhere. we go to _________church with our friends, or attend a Lutheran church like this one.  We like variety.  "  This man's reply was "OH!" _______ church?  "Well, it is really good to see you here."   He had a smile on his face, but a question or two left in his eyes.

The sermon we had just listened to talked about stepping out of our comfort zone and about being open to new things God wants to show us.  In hindsight I would have brought that into the conversation.  As it was, I had "rocked the boat" a bit I expect.

Not too long ago Joel and I listened to people speak about places of worship.  The tone was quite clear......"them vs us".  We found ourselves once again defending mainline churches.  It has been the reason we have with sadness walked away from more than one place of worship or a group.

Jesus is to be the center of our places of worship.  The rest is interpretation, doctrine, and individual needs.   In the past five years we have found that no matter what church we are worshiping in,  we seem to rock the boat when it comes to being Lutherans who believe and walk in the prophetic, speaking in tongues, and God-wants-you-well healing.  It is not often a comfortable position to be in.

The term "rock the boat" did not come from us but from God.  When we were at Bethel church in Redding CA  we went to a personal prophetic session, where we were asked a question by one of the leaders that made us laugh.  He said to us, "Do you two rock the boat?"  It is so strange but God is showing me a picture of you both in a boat, rocking it!"  We expressed our thoughts on this, responding that we do rock the boat in the fact that we are Lutherans who believe and walk in God-wants-you-well healing, speaking in tongues, and seeing the prophetic come to light.  The man said, "Well, God told me you are to keep rocking the boat.  Don't stop rocking the boat.  Keep rocking the boat with love.  When you do stop rocking the boat, that will be when He calls you Home."  So.......we all three said together.....Keep rocking the boat!  (not really ready to go home to Heaven.)

As I told Joel about this conversation with the man we know while on our way home Sunday, he said, "I think you were rocking his boat, Missy."

I pondered this, as I really do get weary of explaining our way of worship, or defending mainline denominations like the Lutheran church for their form of worship or doctrine.  It is frustrating.  I keep thinking there is unity in diversity and it should start in the pew first!  In my search for a church home  for us I found a congregation in Huntington Beach CA that an ELCA pastor started.  He defines himself as a Norwegian Lutheran pastor with incurable Pentecostal tendencies.  That would be a long Sunday morning commute......but it is nice to know that there are others like us out in the world.

Today I realized it probably won't end until God calls us Home.  It seems we are boat rockers.  Evidently God has placed us in this position.....whether sharing healing stories, defending "others" in the them vs us way of thinking, or answering the questions of those who just don't get us.   I cannot say I like it, but I do receive it.  We will keep rocking the boat with love, Lord, as you direct us, until you call us Home.

I Have Been Talking To You All Night

I was determined to hear her speak, the author of two books that we had read.  Judy Franklin is an assistant to pastor Bill Johnson and shares her gifting of visions from Holy Spirit as a speaker and author..  She understands the spirit realm and has written about her own experiences.  It is powerful the way God can use our imagination for His own purposes.

She was so interesting! Part of her lecture was to have us sit back and visualize Jesus in front of us.  Then listen for what he wants to tell you and see what he wants to show you.

As I leaned back and closed my eyes Jesus came right up.  Eyes so vivid and hair a reddish brown, thick and wavy.  He took my hand and I noticed the scar on the top of His.  I leaned down and kissed the scar.  He urged me to walk with Him so I did. We went to a meadow by a creek and he sat down leaning back on His hands with His ankles crossed.  I sat beside Him.  He suddenly scooped His hands up from the grass and lifted them high in the air.  Feathers went up and then fell down all around us.  So many small white feathers!  As I stood up and started gathering the,, He said, "You don't have to collect them, there will always be more."

That was the end of what I saw as the speaker then invited some of us to share what we had seen.  I am not completely sure what the feathers represent but they have come to me often over the past 2 1/2 years.  It started with breast cancer surgery and the verses and feathers showing up in images, etc.  Shelter-of-His-wings feathers, healing feathers.  Then when we went to Bethel Church last fall they showed up before we left after we asked for them as affirmation for our trip.  This time from an owl who was gracing us with his nightly presence.  Now once again I am seeing feathers.  I am praying for clarification and meaning to fully come, but for now I am grateful there will always be more.

At the end of Judy Franklin's teaching, she pointed her finger at me and told me she had been "looking at me and talking to me the whole night".  She went on to speak some amazing words over and about me that touched my heart and has had me pondering their meaning ever since.  I was one of 3 people she spoke to in a room of 75-100 listeners, so I am so grateful to hear from someone who has helped me to understand the things I see and hear. 

There are so many ways that God speaks to us.  Through our devotionals,  the scriptures, worship songs, the words of friends and family, books written by others, prophetic words, and much more.  More, like God using our minds/imagination for His divine purposes. 

Defining Normal

Joel and I are reading aloud the book, "The Supernatural Power of a Transformed Mind" by Pastor Bill Johnson.  It has given us a new perspective on the definition of "normal Christianity".  Always love the way God opens our eyes to more of Him.

I remember when we told a friend about our adventure in healing and speaking in tongues.  My friend's hubby replied...'Well, that is just a little to the right of crazy, isn't it."  It was just not normal in his mind.  We had a good chuckle over that and have used the term ourselves....cuz we have observed things that made us feel that same way.   What is normal to one is not necessarily normal to another!

Have you heard of the book, "Hillbilly Eulogy"  by J.D. Vance? I had to be put on a waiting list to get the book from our local library.  As I read into the book, I found it  not to my liking so I did not finish it.  I did think about Vance growing up in a hillbilly culture, though, and how our environment defines what is normal and familiar for us, at least until we observe something different.

Normal:  it used to describe a setting on our clothes dryers .........until computers and sensors made our washer and dryers into amazing machines.  Remember when it was normal to have a phone attached to the wall, when you had to get up to turn the TV channel?  Back in the day,  no one could comprehend soaring through the air.  I am sure that many thought the Wright brothers were just a little to the right of crazy!  And maybe they were.  Stepping out of the box moves us forward!

Lets look at our bodies.  When I was so very ill, walking across the room or up the stairs was exhausting for me.  My body adjusted and pretty much was comfortable with being so sick.  Then I was healed of Lyme and I started to walk....5 minutes...  10 minutes was a major milestone for me. The body had to be coaxed back to life.  Exercising then became normal to the point where if I don't walk daily I feel sluggish and out of sorts.   My body's perspective of normal has shifted.  It is still a work in progress, but walking is normal now.  Thank God.

So all this to contemplate that what Jesus commands in the Bible..........GO preach the gospel, heal the sick, cast out demons, raise the dead, speak in new tongues................I am thinking that these commands from Jesus are to be followed and defined as normal Christianity.  The supernatural power of God for us is normal.  It is food for thought.  Bringing the kingdom to earth....."They kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven".  Yeah.  On earth.  Wouldn't it be amazing if we saw the works of Jesus come through us..........remember He lives IN us..........remember He said we would do greater things than He did with Holy Spirit in us.....Normal Christianity.  Wow.  Just sayin'

When God Called Us To Go West!

In 1976 Joel left the Air Force and began attending Luther Seminary in St. Paul MN.  We moved with our 4 kids and 2 cats near Como Park not too far from the seminary, living in a big, old house that we bought contract-for-deed.  After two years of study, Joel would be sent on an Internship, where he would be given a church to work in for his third year.  The pastor there would be his supervisor and mentor. After Internship he would return for his final year at the seminary.

 At that time there were not many second career seminary students, so there were only 3 locations available to a family of six for Internship.  One was a very small town up in Northern Minnesota, another was in my home town in southern MN and the third was located in Malta Montana.  We ruled out my hometown right away, as everything would be too easy....too familiar with family there.  The northern MN Internship did not feel right for us either, so we chose the Montana Internship, heading out West for a new adventure.  It was the best thing we ever did, but it almost did not happen.

Joel was dragging his feet about leaving the financial security of the home we owned.  I had no ties to the house that harbored a professionally estimated 250 bats in the attic.  I also strongly believed that if we were going to learn all we could from the Internship available to us, we needed to take this Internship and head West.
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 Joel had a list of logical reasons why we should stay, worrying about where we would live when we came back for his final year.  It took quite a bit of persuading by his cousin Luther and myself to get him looking at things differently.  It was when I challenged him about his reasons for staying put, that his fear lost the battle.  I reminded him of his calling, and that if he really wanted to be a minister and go to new places, he needed to trust God and GO.  I believed God was guiding this decision and selling our house and moving West was the right thing to do.  God moved in his heart too, he agreed, said yes to the Internship, and we sold our house, and headed West.

So that summer of 1978 found us driving through Minnesota and North Dakota and into the middle of Montana for one of the greatest adventures of our lives.  Because we did not let fear or worry get in the way,  and because we said YES to God's plan for our family, our lives were richly blessed with all He had in store for us.

Malta was a small town of about 2,000 in northwest central MT.  The Malta Lutheran Parish consisted of 4 churches in a 150 mile radius, with services also being conducted at a hot springs and at the small mining town of Zortman up in the Little Rockies.  Joel was assigned the two churches farthest north in Whitewater and Loring MT.  He/we would drive up north 75 miles into beautiful scenery with eagles and deer in abundance.  Often we would never see another car.  Whitewater was off the beaten track on gravel roads and people came from over 50 miles away to worship.  A skunk lived under the church, so at times the aroma was a bit overwhelming, and often church started "when people got there".  Loring was located right off a paved highway, a bit bigger, with a cafe and bar in town!  Once a month he served the churches of Malta and Dodsen.   He had a great mentor in Pastor Merv Olson who became, along with his family, long time friends.

We moved into what we affectionately called "The Internage" which was next door to the Parsonage.  It was an older house they had moved in from a ranch, and it had an add on kitchen.  When you walked from the dining room to the kitchen you went down about a foot on a slant.  There were not enough bedrooms so our oldest, Bethany, slept in the large hallway on a twin bed.  She liked that since she could read by the downstairs light at night when she was supposed to be sleeping.  There was a makeshift shower in the basement and a lime green claw foot tub in the upstairs bathroom.  A porch made for a nice place to sit on summer days when mosquitoes were in abundance outdoors. There was always a warm feeling in that house that held so many memories of the families that had lived there.

Joel was involved in every aspect of ministry; preaching, teaching, counseling, and more.  The only part of ministry Joel did not have any prior experience in was officiating at funerals, but early that fall tragedy struck with 8 funerals taking place in less than 3 weeks.  Three were murder victims from the northern churches Joel served.

Three men from California were trying to escape the crimes they committed there, and while driving through Loring to the Canadian border they went into the bar where they raped and murdered a woman, then killed her husband and another man who was in there at the time.  It was devastating to the town, and when they were caught the men were kept under 24/7 armed guards in Malta by many officers because there was some fear of vigilante justice.

One of the first weekends we were there the fair and rodeo was going on, so Joel went with Pastor Merv to help at their Sunday "church".  It was a bit chaotic with bull riding going on nearby ~ one rider being knocked unconscious, a cat chasing a rabbit, a small plain flying overhead,  and the train making itself known as it traveled through.  Joel was definitely not in the Midwest anymore!  He  rode horseback with a wagon train and preached at their Sunday service where a drunk cowboy came through on his horse.  He also participated in a round up while we were there, and as a family we helped new friends brand cattle.

Joel in the red hat

Our favorite Christmas service has been written about before...........Christmas Eve at Zortman in the Little Rockies where we climbed a hilly path up to the church.  A pot bellied stove was our only heat source on a bitterly cold night as we sang familiar hymns with lantern light reflecting off the walls.  Beautiful memory.

We learned so much there about serving a congregation.  We were the 19th Intern the Parish had welcomed into their community, they knew how to take care of their Interns.   It was one of the best experiences of our entire lives, and we are so grateful that God led us to this small town in Montana.  It is a reminder that when we listen to His voice, and heed His calling, amazing things happen!

And Joel's concern about a place for us to live during his final year?  We received a phone call a couple of months before going back to the seminary from a student who was going on his Internship and he wanted to know if we wanted to rent his house while he was gone.  He told us he would share the profits when they sold their home, for the year we were there.  Only God!

Adventures in Africa or Suburbia

My friend, Linny, has used YWAM's (Youth With A Mission) books about missionaries for many years, reading them to all their children.  Recently she talked about one book on her blog, A Place Called Simplicity and YWAM heard about it.  They offered her readers a special price on a set of 5 books, with 10% of the profit going to Linny and Dwight's ministry, International Voice of the Orphan.    There are some great stories about missionaries!

Today I listened to a man share his story on the Hillsong channel.  He and his wife had been missionaries in Saudi Arabia, starting many underground churches during the time that they lived with their family there. They were from India, but felt God call them to start underground churches in a Muslim country.

Years passed, their churches multiplied, and then the government found out what they were doing, and told them they would have to leave the country. The man and his wife sent their kids back to India right away, and they stayed behind to pack up.  Unfortunately, the man was arrested and taken to prison just 10 days before he was scheduled to leave.  He was in solitary isolation for 1 month, interrogated for hours at a time nearly daily, and spent 6 more months in prison before they released him.  He has no regrets because he did what he felt called to do.

It took me back to our days at The Lutheran Bible Institute.  Many of our teachers were once missionaries and one in particular had suffered greatly in a Japanese POW camp.  His fingers were all broken and not re-set so they now bent at angles....he had his finger nails removed too.  As a Christian he suffered greatly for his faith.  He was a faithful man of God who empowered all the students who sat in his classes.

I remembered Gracia and Martin Burnham, who were missionaries in The Philippines.  They were captured by terrorists and held captive for a year.  They survived many difficulties, but her husband died and she was shot when the Filipino military found the terrorists and assaulted the camp.  Gracia and her family loved living in the P.I. and felt called by God to do so.  Their son is in mission work, flying the same kind of plane his dad did.  Jim and Elisabeth Elliot went to South America in the late 50's where Jim and others were massacred by some of the tribe they had hoped to reach.  Later Elisabeth went back with her family to work with the very people who killed Jim.  There son has worked among them also.

Of course, Linny's daughter Emma and SIL are missionaries in Uganda where they take care of orphans with many special needs.  They are in the process of buying land to expand The Gem Foundation.

Joel's cousin, David Simonson, is buried on the land the Masai gave the family.  David and his wife Eunice spent over 50 years bringing Christ to the Masai tribe.  They started the first girls schools also. His wife and I believe 4 of their 5 kids still live and work in Tanzania.  Jim Klobuchar wrote a great book about their story, entitled The Cross And The Acacia Tree.  I am always so blessed by these stories. What courage to follow their calling.   Ordinary people who have changed the world by being obedient in God's plan for their lives.

There are times like today that I still "wish" we had gone into the mission field, but we believe it was not God's will.  God has a plan for every single one of us, and that plan is to help change the world.  It may not be across the seas.....it may not be as a pastor or a missionary.  It may be as a business man, musician or homemaker.  It may be you are the one in the kitchen serving others at the church....or in a shelter.  Whatever the plan, it is for His purpose.  What is required of us is obedience to that plan, that leading, that purpose.  We are all destined to fulfill His calling on our lives.  Whether on African soil, in the jungles of the Philippines, or in your own backyard in suburbia.  We need only lift our hearts and voices and say..........."Yes, Lord."  The adventures will follow!

"We Are Family"

They gather once a week.  Each family bringing their own personalities to the table.  As food is passed, conversation ebbs and flows, sometimes voices rising in conflict but nearly always with respect. There is an unspoken rule to be present at these gatherings and three members of the family are their in memory ~ two matriarchs and a son who lost his life on the job.  This is family.  Family is always important, and in this case the family business, law enforcement, also connects them.

I love this family.  I love how it works together as a unit, but keeps it's individuality.  Love how it operates well even in their imperfections, because of a firm foundation in faith and love. Through love expressed comes forgiveness, respect, and diversity.  Unity in diversity.

By now you may have figured out that this family I am describing is found on Friday night TV.  Blue Bloods in a show about cops, but it is much more.  The people in this show are portrayed pretty real, as far as how complex family can be.  How humane...how difficult.  It is a family drama.  And isn't that what life is about?  Relationships and of course within that, drama.

There is a song our whole family sings at wedding celebrations.  "We Are Family" unites us as we celebrate welcoming one more into the clan.  We don't all live our lives in parallel forward movements, nor do we all agree on such topics as faith or politics, but hopefully we see each other through a lens of love, the way God commands we do.  The way He views us through the Lens (Jesus) of love.  

And isn't that how we all need to see each other?  Not one of us is exempt.  We are required to see others through this Lens, this One that God placed in us as we reached out to Him,
believing...receiving.  

We gather at a table together in our homes, in restaurants, in schools, offices, and places of worship.  We gather, we give thanks, we pass bread, we lift glasses of pure liquid to our lips, and we unite over food and fellowship.  We unite as a family, as a community, a country, our world. Unity in diversity.  

I am not always comfortable with the intensity of the show Blue Bloods, but when the family gathers as they always do, a smile graces my face.  Family.  My heart aches for our family, but it also fills with warmth as I think about their own gatherings around their own tables.  We don't have the privilege of having weekly dinners.  Yearly dinners are all we can hope for, but in our hearts we still sing the song ....."We are family....." and we give thanks for that.

God has given us the way...the truth.....whether with our family or our community...to view each other with love.  It is through His beautiful Lens, Jesus.  Through that lens we are all family. 

And God Stepped In

Joel and I watched a beautiful segment on CBS today, created by Steve Hartman. We like that man and the stories he tells speak hope.   He, himself, was in tears as he shared this story of goodness, and so were the two of us.  A man in his 80's was grieving the death of his wife.  He struggled with depression and not feeling he had any purpose for his life now that his wife was gone.

And then God stepped in.

While in the grocery store one day a little girl noticed him and said...""Hi old person!"  She then insisted her mom take her over to him so she could give him a hug!  He told her mom it was the first time he felt happy in a long time.  Thus began a relationship that defies understanding.  She has grandparents close by....he has grandkids although all grown up and gone.  The two of them forged a bond that has continued since their first encounter.  She visits him at least once a week, and there are a lot of hugs and 4 year old chatter that goes on.  He feels like he has purpose again.."To watch her grow up." He told Steve Hartman that she is an angel in his life, and that God definitely had something to do with the two of them connecting is such amazing ways.

Yes, God stepped in!

When we lived in Salt Lake City Utah our children had "adopted" grandparents.  We lived far from family in Minnesota. and a couple we met at church became mentors to us and grandparents for our two oldest, who were not much more than babies.  They were retired Air Force, Joel was in the Air Force......we inherited their "old" furniture and boy did we need furniture!  They were active members of the church we attended......they encouraged and supported Joel as he filled in as their pastor on Sundays for 9 months.  And they loved on our babies as grandparents do!  I only hope and pray they received half as much from our relationship as we did.

Definitely, God stepped in.

God was present when He connected my friend Katherine and me through a conference call prayer group for people with Lyme.  About 40 of us prayed for over 500 with the disease.  This brief encounter during the conference call moved into emails, then brief phone calls and then one day after about a year Katherine suggested we watch a man we had never heard of speak about healing.  We did so, Joel was miraculously healed overnight, and I began healing soon after.  This relationship reached a deeper level when Katherine, Joel and I met at a healing conference in CT in 2013.  We even were able to meet her family.  A young mom in her 30's came from New Hampshire and a couple in their 60's drove from Iowa to unite in our passion for healing, and God's perfect planning made it all possible.  It still makes me smile and brings tears to my eyes.  He is so amazing.

And God stepped in.

I cannot help but share again about how Joel and I met.  We both came to The Lutheran Bible Institute in the fall of 1966.  My older sister and her friend arrived later in the fall for parents weekend and took a campus tour.  They then told me they met the man I was going to marry.....when they pointed him out to me my reply was less than nice, but they told me they would pray about it. Just 18 months later we said our vows before family, friends, and most importantly our Lord who brought us together.  God stepped in and one confused, insecure woman barely 20 married one lonely, self-assured young man of 22.  Our faith in Jesus united us and 48 1/2 years later we continue on in this adventure called life.  So grateful.

Yes, God stepped in.

I am sure all of you are remembering your own special times when God stepped in.  God sees us, people.  He sees us where we are......He sees us in our brokenness.....and He loves us so deeply He reaches in to make us whole and fulfill His purpose for our lives.  We are His beloved.

Lord, thank you for stepping in and connecting us as your children.  Thank you for "being the God who sees us" and who with your unfathomable love heals us through Your power and the people you bring into our lives.  Let us always be open to your perfect plans for us and for others.  Thank you that we are your beloved.  In His name..............

And God stepped in............

Friday Photo Reflection: Walking

Our daughter took this photo as we were walking to our car after the wedding and reception of our niece and her husband.  It reminds me so much of our life together.  We met in the fall of 1966, and began dating in January 1967.  We married the end of June 1968, and what a journey we have been on! 

It is truly a surprise to me when I see our images reflected in a photo or the mirror.  We are so different that those young kids who said I do.  I was 20 and Joel just 22 as we walked down the aisle of my home church and out into the world.  And here we are, 48 1/2 years later, still walking out into the world and still crazy about each other.  I cannot image this journey with anyone else.

So many years stretched out together to make our marriage, so many joys and sorrows, laughter and tears.  Sickness stole time, death bruised our hearts, loss grieved us deeply..........but God.  God never left us.  God gave us beauty for ashes, He restored health, He showered us with His love.  He blessed us with children and then in-loves, and the grandchildren that grace our home and bless our lives.  He gave us purpose and so many great adventures in the many places we have called home.  He offered His Son and Holy Spirit.  

We are so grateful that we are able to continue to walk together on God's path for us.  Never alone.  God always guides and directs us.  He lights the way!  

"Your Word is a lamp unto my feet

 and a light unto my path."

Psalm 119:105

What More Am I Here For, God?

I was listening to a teaching two weeks ago where the pastor talked on the popular topic of how God has a purpose for each of us.  This is not news, of course. The pastor went on to say that often the purpose is revealed after an encounter with God, the testimony someone shares, or how we observe others living.  Experiences shape us, whether ours or someone else's.

Last week Pastor Eric Johnson from Bethel talked about the fact that as we seek our purpose, we are  "building a house" every day of our lives, using Luke 6 to base it on.  It was an interesting perspective on a well known scripture~ building our house on rock or sand.  He stated that we, ourselves, make the decision on how to build our "house" for God.   Are we sitting at home watching too much TV? Are we spending all our time on ourselves or the things of the world? Then that is what we are building.   Have we identified our passion and are we moving forward with a sense of purpose in our God given passion?  Are we building our house on that purpose?  On the desires of our heart?  Another thought.....our lives affect the next generation whether we are building our house on a rock or on the sand, so what legacy will we leave our grandchildren, great grandchildren....future generations. We are always building our "house" so we need to decide where we are going to establish our house...on the Rock, or on sand.

I am also reading the book, "Lioness Arising" by Lisa Bevere and she, too, talks about our unique purpose, as daughters of the King.  Each of us have a purpose and play a part of God's plans for His world.  As she wrote about those who have the courage to move into the legacy God has for them, I could not help but think of examples in my life.  One is my friend, Linny.  You want an example of a Godly woman who arose from the ashes of a life of fear, abuse, and illness to find her passion, her purpose and an unbelievably strong faith in her sweet Jesus?  That is Linny, mom to 14 (so far), several married with children of their own, and 9 still at home.  Some "lifers".  Her hubby left a career as a lawyer to go back to seminary to be a pastor....they both were working as pastors, but knew that a prophecy given over their lives years before would eventually come in God's timing.  That prophecy came into fruition when they decided a few years ago to begin a non-profit organization for the orphans. International Voice of the Orphans feeds thousands of kids in Uganda and other places, and one of their daughters and her hubby parent and care for many special needs kids as missionaries in Uganda at The Gem Foundation. Linny and Dw are seriously passionate about their calling.  At. any. cost. What Linny and her husband Dw do. what their daughter and her husband do,  all stems from prayerful obedience. They would be the first to say they could not do what they do without God providing in all areas of their lives.  They are building their house on a rock!  THE Rock.  He beckoned, they answered and they have never looked back.

I have known others with the same God given passion, those who do "give up their lives to find it". It may not require opening your home to over a dozen kids in your "retirement years", but God has a purpose for you.  For me.   Sometimes people have a passion for helping their neighbors, or volunteering at a shelter.  It may be they are called to care for loved ones, or bring comfort to others.  Our passion does not necessarily light up the sky with a thousand stars....it may be one light in the darkness.  The point is, we all have a purpose and what lights your fire is often part of God's plan!

Joel and I experienced some of that passion when we were healed from Lyme Disease.  We learned all we could about healing through prayer and the gifts of the Holy Spirit.  It consumed our lives for over 3 years before breast cancer. During the past year of surgery, radiation, and two eye surgeries I confess that my passion waned due to the distractions.  I began to question what God had in store for me.

As I pondered, I started writing about our lives and while looking back I began to ask God "what am I here for"?  Not in a negative way, but in regards to the 27 years of Lyme, two bouts with cancer, and the struggle for healing of my damaged body. Because I am still here, praise God, I am seriously asking, "What am I here for, God"?  "What do you want to build in me, in us?"  And I am asking myself, "In my choices, what kind of house am I building?"  I know some of the answers, but what more, Lord....what more??

One of our daughters tells me I "think to much".  I have no doubt that this is true, but God works with it.  He knows me well.  He is in the midst of the questions I am asking...."What more am I here for, God?"  He has a purpose, and many plans to get us there.  His purpose for each of us are often subject to change, too.  They may be only for a season of our lives. Yet His love for His children is always the same along with His desire that we build our house on a rock.  On THE Rock, Jesus Christ.

Have you ever found yourself asking God these questions?  What is my purpose now in this season of my life?  What is Your plan?  A good place to start is focusing on what we know.  What passion drives us?  What desires fill our hearts?  What is God's voice saying to our hearts?  Who does God say we are?  How does He want to use our unique gifts?  Am I building my "house" on the Rock?  Right now, in the present, what more am I here for, God?

Cruise Control

I have listened twice this week to a Sunday sermon on faith by Eric Johnson at Bethel Church. The Hebrews 11 faith we read about in the scriptures.  During his teaching he asked this question ~ are we living our lives on cruise control?

When Joel and I went to a conference in CT in 2013 we quickly realized that even after spending our lives believing and serving, there was so much we still needed to learn about God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, faith, healing, and more.  It is now 2016 and we are still in the process of learning more. It is a life long process.  Some of what we have learned has come through sitting under the teachings of others, whether online, in church or in a book.  Some of our learning has come through seeking God, and some has come as a result of circumstances and challenges that have caused us discouragement, confusion, and more.  In Eric's sermon he said that when challenges from the enemy come into our lives, we need to ask God to "increase our faith".  If we are feeling defeated, turn that around and use it as a motivator to move forward in our faith journey. And don't make continually living on "cruise control" an option.  Increase our faith, Lord. As we learn, as we seek, as we face challenges.......increase our faith.

Eric's teaching reminded me of the book "The Prayer of Jabez" by Bruce Wilkerson.  It has been around for many years but recently God brought it to light once again..  We were at my sister Jan and BIL Lanny's home in Mesa and Joel was looking for the magazine he kept in the bathroom.  I had confiscated it to read for myself, so he picked up a small book on the back of the toilet.  It was the book, "The Prayer of Jabez".  He began to read it once again with new eyes and was so drawn in that when we got home he took it our copy off the bookshelf to read.  We have been going through it here at home for devotions, while praying the prayer of Jabez on a daily basis.

"Oh that You would bless me indeed!  

and enlarge my territory, 

that you hand would be with me, 

and You would keep me from evil
that I may not cause pain."
I Chronicles 4:9,10

This is a simple prayer that seeks God and desires to live beyond any limits.  It is an insightful, deeply honest request from a Biblical character who is only mentioned once and who's name means "to cause pain". Jabez felt he was living a life on cruise control, and he wanted more.  He was seeking more of God.

I believe we all have an inner desire to seek God.  An inner desire to have a closer relationship with Him, on all levels.  But life gets in the way.  Fear gets in the way.  I feel the need to repeat that one......fear gets in the way.  False Evidence Appearing Real gets in the way. I think pastor Eric Johnson is right on when he says to use those challenges or difficulties as a motivator, asking God to increase our faith as we walk forward through life.  No more cruise control!  Increase!  And like Jabaz we can pray.......Oh that you would bless me indeed!

A Fork In The Road?

The birthing process is made up of stirrings, contractions, discomfort, pain and effort.  And at the end of the process emerges the gift of a life, created by God with the help of mom and dad, of course.  A beautiful gift that has made the waiting and the journey worthwhile.

We go through a similar process when God works in and through His people, pruning us, stretching our beliefs and renewing our spirit. This birthing, this being reborn, and renewed in Christ to be more like His image, is a process that we take part in.  We open and surrender ourselves to Holy Spirit, so that we can be all He has created us to be.  Our unique selves, made for His purpose.

Joel and I have been in transformation the past 4 years, but especially the last 7 months. Our journey began with Joel's overnight microwave healing and continued on with my own healing journey.  We developed a deep passion for healing through prayer and could not learn enough about it. In the past 7 months the journey has involved healing through surgeries and radiation, and more recovery time than I want to admit.  But this is not the whole story.  This season has also been about way more than healing, it has been about having a closer relationship with Papa God and about being open to His continued purpose for our lives. It has been and still is about removing God from a place of our own understanding and saying with our whole being............We want more of you God........at. any. cost.

I recently saw a picture in my mind of a road and ahead were two forks.  I identified one fork as our Lutheran heritage, where we have been rooted our whole lives.  The other fork in the road was all that we have learned beyond our Lutheran beliefs, a place of more of Holy Spirit manifestations, more of the prophetic and a different understanding of healing.

As I looked at this picture it became a person with arms raised to God in praise. The fork in the road was really not a place of decision....do we go to the left or to the right......it was a blending of who we were and who we are now and finding peace with how both are molding and shaping us into who God desires.  In this process involving effort, discomfort and even pain, our focus needs to remain on God.....who in His infinite wisdom is creating something new~ someone new.

I don't think this process is unique or a one time event, but is an ongoing part of everyone's lives. We are transformed and renewed by a loving God who does not want to leave us where we are, but encourages us to grow and be shaped into the image of Christ for His purpose as long as we take breath into our bodies.  This birthing process is not always easy or comfortable, but it is an adventure we don't want to miss out on, that's for sure.  So we continue to ask with expectation and even some anxiety for something more...........at. any. cost.

The Life She Had Imagined

Ever since God sent me the promise found in the Psalms that speaks of being covered by His feathers, I have held it close as my own.

"He will cover you with His feathers 

and under His wings you will find refuge."

Psalm 91:4

When I asked God for confirmation on going ahead with radiation after surgery for breast cancer, I asked Him to send me a feather as confirmation.  I looked everywhere we walked last fall, seeking that feather. Then one day when I went to Facebook, there it was.  A friend had posted a beautiful photo of a feather and written a powerful post to go with it.  It spoke to me.   I carried this promise and virtual feather close to my heart through six weeks of radiation and all that came with that.  I held the promise close through my slow recovery and even the two cataract surgeries. Even though I have not had a feather fall from the sky............yet......., I seem to have them show up in other ways.  Yesterday it was this quote that got my attention, at first because of the feather, but then the words drew me in.

And so, she decided to start living the life she'd imagined.  

How would I incorporate these powerful words into a my journey where I'm the "she"?  As I thought about it, my story formed quickly.

~~~~~~~~

Jesus whispered quietly to her, "I have come so that you may have life, and have it more abundantly." (John 10:10) I have healed you (Is. 53:4) and set you free from the life of isolation you existed in, because it is for freedom from cancer, Lyme, MCS, and more that I set you free. (Galatians 5:1) I love you, My child, with a deep abiding love. (Ephesians 3:18)  I want you with Me and My Father. (John 3:16) My Father created you with a unique purpose.  He has placed dreams upon your heart to help Him fulfill those plans. (Jeremiah 29:11)  Do not fear, I am with you always ( Matt. 28:20) ) and delight in you. (Zeph. 3:17).

And so, she decided to start living the life she'd imagined.

And what does this mean for you?  What promises stir you to live the life you had imagined?  What dreams has God laid on your heart?

AND SO, 

SHE DECIDED TO START LIVING

 THE LIFE SHE'D IMAGINED

Walking The Land

There is something about the West that has always drawn me.  It is not just because my husband wears cowboy boots, vests, denim shirts, and a great Stetson hat.  No, it is much more.  I love the way the land presents itself.....both barren and beautiful at the same time.  We have lived out west in Utah, New Mexico and Montana and I lived as a child in South Dakota so we are familiar with western landscapes. Each place had it's own beauty to offer.  After returning from Montana to the Minnesota in 1983 we mourned the loss of living in the West for a long time.  It was not just the people, even though they were great.  It was not just the mountains and their majestic beauty, since we did not live near the Rockies.  It was the land.  The history embedded in the land. The pioneer spirit is there ~~independent, rugged, persevering.  We have only been back to visit Montana one time, mostly due to my past health issues, but memories are held close to our hearts.

I am attracted to places like The Pioneer Woman's BLOG, not for the recipes, but for her stories and photos of their life in Oklahoma.  I find it all intriguing.  Wide open spaces, hard work, and a satisfied life.  At least that is how I see it.  Joel and I both like the West.  If we believed in reincarnation, we would be thinking we were once pioneers out west, but since we do not, I think that maybe the beauty of the West, the history the land holds, and our good memories are what pull us in.  I expect it is one of the reasons we liked Gold Canyon AZ so much.  It certainly would not be due to it being near Phoenix.  Gold Canyon sits on the edge, nestled between the Superstition Mountains and the suburbs of that over populated desert city.  There is a rugged beauty to be found there in the green desert.

The land out West draws us.  There are also other places the land calls to us,  but in different ways.  Joel's childhood home and land is familiar and holds history.  In fact we will be buried in the cemetery next to the church where he grew up.  Just a quarter mile from the home farm seventeen Dahlens are buried, so far.  The lakes, rolling hills, and farm fields  where Joel spent his whole childhood bring forth an emotional response.  We are also drawn to the land and front porch of one of our families.  A porch that gives us a view of the flat fields and roads for miles, bringing us a sense of peace and quiet.  Far from town, it holds generations of history that you can sense deep in your soul.  I am grateful that our three treasures there will have that history for themselves and can look back at who walked the land before them.

In our years of moving, the 22 plus moves we have experienced around the country and overseas to the Philippines, our children missed out on putting down any deep roots, and so did we.  But as adults they have each found a place for themselves.....a land where they left footprints that brings them peace and a sense of "here is where we belong".  After a few years of "wandering" they walked the land God gave them and put down roots. They are living out God's purpose for their lives on their own soil and we are so grateful for that.

Do you feel drawn to your own land, a land you have walked on where you held the soil in your hands? Many have done so.  One blogger friend shares amazing photographs of the beauty surrounding her from their home in rural Wisconsin.  Another shares the stunning view she has from her home of a proud towering mountain in Washington state.  Another speaks of their home in the mountains of California. Yet another, city life, vibrant and alive to her.  Each place is as unique as the people who share their stories.  Each one says...."we have come home"......

I cannot express fully the connections between the land, God, and our own need for roots, but as I read Christie Purifoy's book, "Roots and Sky" and as I have read the comments on her blog, this need for roots in a land God has provided resonates with so many people.  This is beyond the desire for roots in the eternal.  It is the need to be able to "walk the land" and know that you know that you know where you belong here on earth.  I believe that sometimes we choose the land and sometimes the land chooses us.

Do you know what my hope and prayer is for each of you, for all of us who desire to walk the land?
That we have found or will find our own place to walk during our journey on earth, where we have dug deep into the soil, put down roots and feel at rest.  A place where our dreams and God's purpose for our life have united together to create the peace and quiet our souls longed for.  A place where we realize "we have come home".

Sunday Came And We Remember And Rejoice!

Holy Week is important to us and good Friday brings with it the overwhelming reminder of what Jesus did for us.  The reading about the death of Jesus on YouTube kept reminding everyone that "Sunday is a coming". If you have not heard it, take the time to read my former post where I have it downloaded.

I thought about the "It is Friday, but Sunday is coming" when we were up and out the door at 5:45 Easter morning driving through fog on two- lane roads and on the Interstate.  Going past the casino with too many cars for such a day as this, we headed to worship, gathering with other Christians.  Yes, Sunday came and "He is risen" echoed in the sanctuary as dawn arrived!

And even on Easter morning, or maybe especially on Easter morning adventures with God take place to delight, amuse, and remind us of God being God.  I had only gone to this church with Joel one other time and so I sat half way down in the sanctuary, thinking others would be filling in around me.  It did not happen.  As Joel walked to the back of the church before the service started he stopped and whispered...."You must be new here, you are sitting down front", and then quietly chuckled as he walked away.  What a stinker!  It seems that he forgot to tell me that at the first service everyone sits way to the back. Since only 75 were there that was possible.  It is a widely known that many Lutherans prefer the back pews but my family never got that memo...nor did Joel's.  I'm grateful for that.

After church I visited with a couple.  They told me they were going to miss Joel, and then then husband asked me questions...."Did I command for healing too?  Did it work?" I answered and he continued....and where did you get Lyme?  In North Dakota?  I replied and he asked, "Well, then, was it North Dakota that your husband got the idea to wear boots?"  I told him Joel has always worn boots and we never lived in ND.  Was he thinking of Montana?  "Well, then, was it in Montana that he got the idea...."  I told him no.  He always wore boots.......but the hat came from our years in Montana.  He seemed satisfied with that answer and moved on.  I am still amused (mostly) at how some people get stuck on Joel's attire.  I do find it cute when a child like the little girl at church walked by Joel and said...."Mommy, a cowboy!"

During the second service I sat downstairs in an alcove near the entryway.  I could hear the service but did not need to be among the 420 worshiping.  While there a dad came with his young teen son.  The boy looked sick and my first thought was~ flu~ so I avoided him.  Then the dad called 911.  The boy had been stung by a wasp in church and had many allergies.  I felt I was to pray for the boy but tried to ignore the urge.   I could not so I stood and asked if I could pray for him.  The boy said yes and the dad asked me to watch him while he looked for mom.  I laid my hand on his head and prayed for the symptoms to leave, commanding his body to stop reacting and for healing to come and reminded the boy that God was protecting him.  He thanks me and he got better, the dad and mom returned, the police showed up and then the ambulance.  The EMTs checked him over and he was fine. I felt very blessed to be able to pray for him and see God move in his body.  That is all we can do.....listen, obey, pray, and leave the rest in God's hands.  When I was done praying I realized that Joel was preaching about the salvation-healing connection at that moment.   I think God was sending me a message, and hopefully this boy will remember the ways God showed up when he needed help.

It was a special Easter morning, and definitely "Sunday Came".  We remember and we rejoice!  The devil was defeated.....Jesus rose from the dead.  And the same power that raised Jesus from the dead and out of that tomb lives inside of us.

Phone calls, texting with siblings, a nap, and ham dinner for two rounded out our day.  We experienced delight in worship, amusement in the questions, the excitement that comes from praying for someone, and the love of family.  I am so grateful that our older children have church homes and celebrate Resurrection Day!  And I am grateful for the adventures that come with faithful living!  Yes, Sunday is not only coming but it came!  He is Risen!

Welcome Home

As I mentioned before, I have been reading Christie Purifoy's book "Roots and Sky". It is not so much a reading of her words but a devouring.  First let me say, sadly, it has been years since I have eaten chocolate chip cookies....but my analogy lies in past experiences!   You know how you lift a warm chocolate chip cookie fresh from the oven to your lips and eat it in three bites, but then when you reach for the second one you take your time to savor its texture, flavor, and sweetness?  Yeah, that would be me with the book,  "Roots and Sky".  Taking in all that I can in big bites, knowing I will go back and read it again, underlining, reflecting, and savoring the texture, flavor and sweetness found within its pages.  Some books are meant to be read more than once.

It is a simple book concept, journaling Christie's perspective of their first year in the red brick Pennsylvania farmhouse they purchased.  A place that Christie, her husband Jonathan, and their children plan to intentionally put down deep roots.  But don't be deceived, because like most simple things, there is the complex to be found within. There are gifts to be opened and at this time in our lives as we long for roots, it has been a delight to read.

"As humans we roam the entire world.  We even venture beyond it into space.  The whole planet is ours, but the whole planet is not our home.  Instead, home is the ground we measure with our own two feet.  And home is the place that measures us.  Home is the place that names us, and that we in turn, name.  It feeds us, body and soul, and if we are living well, we feed it too.  Home is the place we cultivate with our love."  Christie Purifoy

Home.  We have always taken the houses we have lived in and made them into a home.  Did our best to cultivate love and acceptance in a variety of houses.....an old 1930's with an add on kitchen, ranch style parsonages, and one split level on three acres of land.  All without air conditioning, one without bedroom heat, a couple without enough space.  We made do, grateful for a home.   We have owned a variety, too, of mostly "unique" looking homes, since they always drew our attention when house hunting. We fed these places and I think they fed us well, but we knew it would be temporary.  When looking for roots, something more is needed.  Seasons need to pass, but an attitude of "this is where we belong" needs to be nurtured. Revelation comes, and you just know that you know that you know......you are home.  You sense it deep in your soul.

One of our children has a front porch on their house.  It is a place where I am always drawn.  I can sense the generations before that have nurtured and loved the land and this place they called home where roots run deep.   I find it very calming to sit in the early morning light and take in the peace that permeates the air.  It is what we long for in our own "red brick house".  And I believe God will guide us there.

Today I leave you with Christie Purifoy's words......:"This is the inheritance I long for.  I want to observe the ordinary things of earth~~~~the moon, the stars, the rainbows, even the yellowed leaves on the old cherry trees~~and receive their messages.  To hear them say what every weary traveler, every earnest seeker longs to hear ~  Welcome home."

Some day we will be welcomed home to Heaven, our eternal home.  Yet, we were also created to live here on earth and as "earnest seekers" of God's will and His purpose for us in this season of our lives, we long for our own place where we hear the words, "welcome home".  I don't think we have long to wait.

The Now And The Not Yet

"Lord I love the house where You live, 

the place where your glory dwells."

Psalms 26:8

Joel and I watched a movie a few weeks ago titled, "5 Flights Up" starring Diane Keaton and Morgan Freeman.  It resonated for both of us, this slow moving movie about an aging couple, and the importance of having roots in a place, a community, a home.  A few days later I felt the need to watch it again and after searching every Redbox in our town, we headed to the one video store we knew of and found it there.  We watched it together and then I watched it a third time, because I felt like it was "speaking" to us in this season of our lives and did not want to miss any of what God was telling us.

During this same time I came across the book "Roots and Sky"  by Christie Purifoy.  I read the first few pages on Amazon and felt a deep "need" to read this book.  Like. Now.  I tried to order it and it was already sold out so I waited until it was available and when it was I was so eager to get it that I was trying to find other books to order just so I could get my free shipping.  Ha!  Books I was not sure I wanted to read, especially when I still had books to read here at home!  So, even though I love to underline and fold pages and hold a book in my hand,  I downloaded it on Kindle.  I knew this book was going to "talk" to me just the way this movie did.....even more so.  I knew I would treasure what God was saying through the thoughts of Christie Purifoy.   I have not been disappointed.

"Roots and Sky" is a true story about Christie, her husband Jonathan, and their children.   A story about their quest for roots.  A journey of how they were able to "leave their wilderness" and follow God to a place where an 1880 red brick house welcomed them.  A place of roots and sky that became a "coming home" for their family.

Our family has moved a lot.  Joel and I have been married nearly 48 years and we have moved 22 times.  We have lived here 20 years this April, so those moves took place while we were raising children.  Even though that is a lot of moving, I smile as I remember that my mom and dad were married 23 years when he died and she had moved with him 42 times.  Lots of moving, little opportunity to put down roots.  Our moving has been with the military and ministry, and roots do not run deep when you move every year or every few years.  As adults our children have found places with their families to put down roots. Roots that are growing deeper in the places they call home.  Even though we do not speak for them, we are pretty sure that it is mostly intentional.  Our moves around the country and overseas gave them a world view and plenty of unique adventures, but there were many challenges, too.

In this season of our lives we are wanting to put down roots.  We are just not so sure what that looks like for us yet.  You might think that since we have lived here in Iowa for 20 years we would have roots, that this would be home.  We were called here to serve a congregation and Joel did so for 10 years.  He served another briefly, before Lyme Disease disabled him.  He has filled in, served, and been staff support and Interim for 20 churches in the area. We have met so many wonderful people here.....have lots of good memories and more than a few of the not so good kind.   The town is familiar and convenient, and our "family" has grown with the many churches Joel has served and the place we worship and fellowship now.   And still, we find ourselves, like Christie Purifoy, looking for a place to put down roots in the final chapters of our lives.  A place that beckons us to live for the next 20 years.  And we want to mix that up together with a new purpose and adventure without the loss of family connections. Healed from the Lyme that kept us in chains for so long, moving forward after breast cancer, I guess we want it all.  Maybe we already have it.  Maybe it is ahead of us in our own red brick house.

This longing can draw us into living in the "not yet" as Christie describes it.  Instead of living in the balance of the now and the not yet, our focus is only the not yet.  We know God needs to be in the center of our lives, and it is our constant prayer, giving thanks and surrendering all as we say, "Lord we will follow you. Move where you say to move, stay where you say to stay, go where you say to go."  Sunday morning Pastor Jeff described having faith while in our circumstances as being in a waiting room.  It does feel a bit like a waiting room, this place of trusting God to reveal His plan for us in His timing. We believe this stretching, this pondering, this birthing is from God.

You may find yourself there too, in the waiting room between the now and not yet. Here is the good news.  Jesus meets us there too.  He is in the now.  He is in the not yet, and He is in the waiting room. That place we go to rest with Him, trusting Him.  Our "red brick house" will look different than someone else's.  Our now's and not yet's will be unique.  But one thing stays the same.  Our God. He is good.

Lead us forward, Lord as your children, in the places you have for us.  Whether in the now or the not yet, the waiting room........You are here and You are good.

Mountains, Butterflies, and Sleighs

Today I stopped over to my internet friend Sharon's cyber home and read a powerful post and analogy about God being like a mountain in our lives. Solid, never moving.   It was just what I needed to hear today as the problems in life began to appear like mountains. Immovable and never-ending. The Bible tells us we are to "cast those problem mountains into the sea", but sometimes the mountains become so much bigger than my God as I focus on them...speaking to them and commanding them to be gone.  Sometimes I forget that I need to tell the problem how big my God is, NOT tell God how big my problem is.

God, in His love and wisdom, presented me with Sharon's words of insight this morning, and peace settled right back into my soul.  It can be so easy to take our focus off of what God has done for us, how much He loves us, and wants what is best for us.

We have been praying for friends and family, and friends of friends and family who are in storms and finding the "mountain shrouded by fog" like Sharon spoke of today.  Dear sweet children like Steven and Samuel who are fighting cancer and dear James and his medical challenges.  Friends and family who battle the disease called cancer ~~Dale, Kris, Barb, Jo.  Myself as I wearily prepare for cataract surgery the end of the month.  Those who search for answers.  And our sweet friend, A. ,who battles Lyme with such grace and deep faith in our God.    Our hearts break for those who are walking through storms.  The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy.

When life gets in the way and screams at us on a level that is hard to ignore, we can get lost in the voices that speak death and destruction.  When we are in a vulnerable place, the future can look uncertain. Some might wonder where God is in the midst of it all.  He is here.  Solid, immovable. Offering abundant life.

Last night Bethel had their baptismal service and I listened as person after person, and child after child shared why they wanted to be baptized.  Over and over I heard.....because Jesus died for me....loves me......healed me.......Never changing is our God.

This morning as we meditated and prayed about our future, saying "yes" to God at all cost, I saw clearly Joel and I being held in the large hand of God.  We were holding hands, and also each of us had hold of a finger of God's as we moved around swiftly and with such grace that soon it was like we were on a butterfly as we soared and yet then seemed to glide across an invisible ice as if in a sleigh. It was Wonderful.  We were in the Father's hand together and all was well.

He is here.  He walks beside us holding our hand.  He walks before us preparing the way.  He walks behind us because He has us covered.  He carries us because He loves us. with such a deep unfathomable love.   And sometimes we soar on the wings of a butterfly or glide in a sleigh with Him on our journey.  He is always with us.  Always.  Solid, immovable like a mountain.  The great I AM holding us in the palm of His hand.