Meeting Jesus In The Garden

I am linking up with Ann Voskamp over at A Holy Experience.  Stop over and be blessed.

I have not spoken much lately about the garden of my heart or my journeys there because they are so personal, but I have continued to meet Jesus in this special place to be in His presence.  He speaks to me there and sometimes we are joined by Papa God and Holy Spirit.

 I am a visual learner,  so letting Holy Spirit use my imagination to meet with Jesus is a great blessing for me.  After three years of this quiet time practice, I have learned to trust what Jesus tells me as we walk through the garden of my heart. He has gently shown me areas of my life that need His healing touch.  Thank you Jesus.

When I first began dealing with the childhood sexual abuse that surfaced from its inner depths three years ago,  I would see a huge rock formation blocking the path I was trying to walk on.  Now, that rock is small, tucked away to the side of the path, and does not interfere with my journey.  Healing has come and what once blocked me from moving forward is now mostly put to rest.  Thank you Jesus.

I used to see a huge mountain with the words FEAR written on it.  Several weeks ago when I went with Jesus to that mountain it was now only half a mountain without a peak , and the word TRUST was where the word fear used to be.  Jesus told me that it was time to build up more trust in Him.  Fear no longer was dominant in my life.  As I would build up my trust in Jesus the mountain would grow bigger and stronger....like me... and the fear would continue to grow smaller taking up less and less space.  When I asked Jesus how to build this trust he showed me a visual of myself walking across a swinging bridge blindfolded.  He was behind me guiding the way with His words and His Word...and as I got closer to the other side he was ahead of me encouraging me on.  Building trust.

Another area of my garden once resembled a thick jungle with vines overhead blocking out the sunlight.  When I asked Jesus at that time what the thick heavy vines were He told me they were the lies from Satan that I was believing.  Remember, the enemy is the father of lies. (John 8:42-44)  He then showed me the roots of these vines that went over to the mountain of fear, feeding it!  Now, three years later, there are only few vines left overhead, and the sun comes through bringing warmth and healing to the area...and as I said before, the mountain of fear is now a mountain of trust. Thank you Jesus.

There is also a place right inside the gate of my garden where I go down stone slab steps to a burden area.  I can see the cross of Jesus there and big boulders all around.  For a very long time now I have taken my burdens there.  They are sometimes carried in backpacks, or sometimes I carry them in my hands.  They may be worries, anger, sickness, fears, or even people and often they are represented by objects that are unusual, like today ~ combat boots .  Seriously.  I came in wearing them and when I sat down on the steps I was asking myself why.  I thought maybe I was preparing for a battle, but when I saw myself removing the boots and leaving them there, I gave Jesus a questioning look.  I asked Him if I was to stop fighting for wholeness and just rest in Him and He said to me, "Stop resisting."  I knew immediately He was talking about a church position my husband Joel had just agreed to.  I was struggling with it because of personal reasons.  Then Jesus said, "For I know the plans I have for you....plans for good and not evil....."  We climbed the steps back into the garden and I went into the meadow by a stream where I now saw myself dancing barefoot....laughing and joyful.  Not at all like I was feeling.  I then heard this verse ~"The joy of the Lord is your strength."

There are other places in my Garden where I meet with Papa God, Jesus, and/or Holy Spirit.  Mostly Jesus meets me there and it is a time to listen  and observe although often it is a place that I also pepper Him with questions. He is patient with me always.  I am so grateful that I can visualize these times together in the garden, and for the guidance and healing that comes from them.

Counting precious gifts from a loving Savior.

Jesus wants to have a close relationship with us.  Going into the garden of my heart, visualizing these special times with Him has given me a special way to connect and grow closer to my Savior.  I have not arrived, but I am on my way.  Each of us has a special way of having a relationship with Jesus.  He meets us where we are at and He calls to us lovingly, urging us to come closer.  Trust Him. 


My word for 2014








Counting the gifts..........
~gardening with Jesus
~combat boots
~barefoot dancing
~burdens to release
~smaller rocks
~treasures to carry
~His plans

Polka Dot Love

I am joining with Bonnie over at Faith Barista today and writing on her prompt word ~ beloved.  Be loved. 

Today my husband Joel came home with a couple great surprises for me..... I was watching a teaching online when he came into the house and said, "I found something for you"......and out of a bag came a metal stamped basket that matched the colors in our house.  Adorable!  Then he said, "Oh, and I have something else for you"....and from behind his back came a cute top with polka dots and strips.  I immediately started crying, as I was overwhelmed by his gift.  You see, we walk in the mall every day in the winter and I had been looking at this top now for several weeks through the window of my favorite store.  I was waiting for it to go on sale, hoping to purchase it then.  Today as we walked by the shop, I noticed the tops were 25% off.  That was a start! I would be able to justify the price and could add it to my slowly growing spring/summer wardrobe.  ( I was homebound for 9 years and had not needed many clothes then.)  I wondered aloud if the price would go down more or if they would have my size, but never expected that Joel would go back to the store after lunch today and buy it for me!  I thought about Bonnie's prompt word right away.  I have often said that I know how much God loves me because he brought Joel into my life 48 years ago.  Today Jesus whispered to me.....be loved by him, my beloved.

Jesus often shares His love with us through the people he brings into our lives , but He also waits for us to come to Him for a loving relationship.  His love for us is palpable ~ living.  So here for us. He will not disappoint us.  His arms are always open as He whispers into our hearts......be loved, my beloved.  Be. loved.  Let me love you with an everlasting love for you are My beloved!

While reflecting on Bonnie's prompt I began to ponder why it can be so difficult for us to always accept the love that Jesus offers.  His love for us is so strong, so present, so here.   Is this what holds us back?  The power in His love?  Does His love invite us to open our hearts with such transparency that it frightens us?  Do we doubt that our Creator could love us with all our faults and weaknesses laid out before Him?  Or do we have a trust issue?  No matter what gets in the way, Jesus sees us as we are and invites us to be loved as His beloved.  All we need to do is respond and embrace it, breathe it in.  Say yes.

I find great comfort in this....being His beloved.  And I also find great joy in something like a polka dot top that speaks of being loved. 

How Deep Is His Love!

My heart was deeply touched while reading Bonnie's recent post over at Faith Barista.  She was sharing the word God had given her to focus on in 2014 ~ beloved.   When she talked about a paintful childhood memory during her post, it resonated within.  She is healing from PTSD that surfaced over a year ago, and openly shared how she remembered laying on the floor weeping as a small child, feeling all alone and pondering why she was even here.  Now as an adult, she knows she was not alone, she knows Jesus was with her.  As an adult she goes back and visualizes Jesus with her during those painful times.  It is helping her heal from the PTS that holds her back from the full life God has planned for her.   My heart both ached and rejoiced for her as she opened her heart to her readers.

When Bonnie shared how she goes back and visualizes Jesus in the midst of a painful memory, I nodded my head in understanding.  It is part of the process used in Sozo ministry and I have used this same technique now for over a year.  When a negative memory surfaces surrounding my own childhood, Joel, who is trained in Sozo, sits with me as I visualize Jesus there in the midst of the painful memory.  I walk through it with Him, release the memory to Jesus by handing it to Him, forgive those involved including myself, and then ask Jesus for a blessing in return.  Often there is a great release that comes, calming my spirit and filling my heart with joy.  The Sozo techniques have released me from the PTS I was diagnosed with over three years ago.   It has been a significant part of my healing journey.

I am giving thanks today, knowing that Sozo is yet another way that God is putting all the pieces of His divine puzzle together in my life.  Bringing the Healer into my inner healing.  Jesus.  His presence.  In His love He desires to help us find wholeness.  Oh, do we even begin to grasp how much He loves us?  Is His suffering in vain as we look for answers to all of life's problems in so many other places?  He tells us in John 10:10 that He has come to give us life and to give it to us more abundantly. 

My word given to me for 2014 is Jesus.  Our Healer, Protector, Provider, Savior, Friend, Guide, Counselor.  We cannot fathom the depths of His love for us, but let us begin to embrace it.  Jesus.

My Word For 2014: A Name Above All Names

Today I am linking up with Faith Barista to share my word for 2014 and the story behind it.  Bonnie is a wonderful woman of God who is sharing her faith journey with those who grace her cyber home.  God speaks through her words into the hearts of His children.  Stop over and be blessed.

 

~~~~~~~~

Recently  praying I was about what one word God wanted me to focus on this year.  In 2013 my words to focus on were a continuation of rest along with trust, based on Isaiah 30:15.   "In quietness and trust will be your strength."  I have been blessed by that verse so often over the past twelve months.

When I finally put some reflective time into asking God for direction, I felt drawn to the word rejoice.  Praising Jesus and rejoicing in all He has given us....not a bad way to spend the year.  Then I felt drawn to the word forward as it came up over and over again in devotionals that were focusing on the coming new year.   Moving forward.  Letting go of the past and moving forward with whatever God has planned for my life.  Both were good words to focus on, but I continued to feel unsettled.

Then I read Ann Voskamp's post on Jesus.  Jesus who became flesh.  I immediately felt a sense of peace, believing that this was the word God had chosen for me.   Jesus.  God had been guiding me in this direction since late September when we began discussing the possibility of attending a conference on healing. One of the speakers was going to be Michael Koulianos, an evangelist who wrote The Jesus Book.  At the time I ordered his book and another about Jesus titled, Crazy Love, by Frances Chan. They are on my bookshelf waiting to be read.

Earlier this week when Ann revealed that her Jesus Project for memorization this year was based on the book of John, it struck a chord.  God has been patiently and persistently speaking to me for so long on the need for His Word to be held in my heart, going deep, transforming and healing me. This project would help me with that. 

Then there has been the magnetic pull to Jesus. 

For the past two years my focus has been on healing.  I have pursued, studied, prayed for and spoke about it.  I have desired more and more from the Miracle Worker!  While reading one of Smith Wigglesworth's book on healing a few weeks ago, I read a story of how a person was healed by the intercessors saying only one word over and over as they stood around his bed ....that word?  Jesus.  Sometime stirred in me. Oh the power in that one word.  The love, compassion, forgiveness, wisdom and power all in one word.  I began to praise God by doing the same.  Saying Jesus over and over with gratitude as I meditated, prayed, rejoiced, struggled to sleep, or fought physical symptoms.  My lips speaking aloud His name, centering my focus. I began to realize I not only want more from the Miracle Worker but I want more of Him too.  I wanted to spend more time just being with Him.  A subtle shift began to occur.

Yesterday we decided to brave the cold and go to a nearby church.  On the way I asked God to confirm the word "Jesus" as His choice for me in 2014.  He did not disappoint.  First of all, when we walked in the sanctuary we saw this beautiful sculpture above the alter.  It brought a smile to my face.

 

 

 

Jesus word sculpture

When I looked at the gospel for the day it was in the book of John!  "In the beginning was the Word and the Ward was with God and the Word was God."  John 1;1. This is the first scripture Ann was asking readers to memorize in her Jesus Project this year.  To add to that, the pastor had a great sermon on  Jesus who became flesh.  I grabbed on to these words, "Let the Word of God speak to you and through you.  He cried for you (as a baby) and He died for you.(as an adult). 

Confirmation.

Reflecting back on it all ~ Resting in Jesus (come all ye who are weary), trusting in Jesus for my healing journey, praising (Jesus), moving forward (with Jesus), reading the Word (In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God) ~~All the pieces of a divine puzzle started coming together as only God can do.  I love when that happens. 

So this year my word is Jesus.  As I read and memorize scriptures with the Jesus Project, rest by trusting all the more, praise the Lord, and move forward on my faith journey I will be focusing on Jesus.  The One who put it all together.  The Word that became flesh.

My Word For 2014: A Name Above All Names

Today I am linking up with Faith Barista to share my word for 2014 and the story behind it.  Bonnie is a wonderful woman of God who is sharing her faith journey with those who grace her cyber home.  God speaks through her words into the hearts of His children.  Stop over and be blessed. ~~~~~~~~

Recently  praying I was about what one word God wanted me to focus on this year.  In 2013 my words to focus on were a continuation of rest along with trust, based on Isaiah 30:15.   "In quietness and trust will be your strength."  I have been blessed by that verse so often over the past twelve months.

When I finally put some reflective time into asking God for direction, I felt drawn to the word rejoice.  Praising Jesus and rejoicing in all He has given us....not a bad way to spend the year.  Then I felt drawn to the word forward as it came up over and over again in devotionals that were focusing on the coming new year.   Moving forward.  Letting go of the past and moving forward with whatever God has planned for my life.  Both were good words to focus on, but I continued to feel unsettled.

Then I read Ann Voskamp's post on Jesus.  Jesus who became flesh.  I immediately felt a sense of peace, believing that this was the word God had chosen for me.   Jesus.  God had been guiding me in this direction since late September when we began discussing the possibility of attending a conference on healing. One of the speakers was going to be Michael Koulianos, an evangelist who wrote The Jesus Book.  At the time I ordered his book and another about Jesus titled, Crazy Love, by Frances Chan. They are on my bookshelf waiting to be read.

Earlier this week when Ann revealed that her Jesus Project for memorization this year was based on the book of John, it struck a chord.  God has been patiently and persistently speaking to me for so long on the need for His Word to be held in my heart, going deep, transforming and healing me. This project would help me with that. 

Then there has been the magnetic pull to Jesus. 

For the past two years my focus has been on healing.  I have pursued, studied, prayed for and spoke about it.  I have desired more and more from the Miracle Worker!  While reading one of Smith Wigglesworth's book on healing a few weeks ago, I read a story of how a person was healed by the intercessors saying only one word over and over as they stood around his bed ....that word?  Jesus.  Sometime stirred in me. Oh the power in that one word.  The love, compassion, forgiveness, wisdom and power all in one word.  I began to praise God by doing the same.  Saying Jesus over and over with gratitude as I meditated, prayed, rejoiced, struggled to sleep, or fought physical symptoms.  My lips speaking aloud His name, centering my focus. I began to realize I not only want more from the Miracle Worker but I want more of Him too.  I wanted to spend more time just being with Him.  A subtle shift began to occur.

Yesterday we decided to brave the cold and go to a nearby church.  On the way I asked God to confirm the word "Jesus" as His choice for me in 2014.  He did not disappoint.  First of all, when we walked in the sanctuary we saw this beautiful sculpture above the alter.  It brought a smile to my face.

 

 

 

Jesus word sculpture

When I looked at the gospel for the day it was in the book of John!  "In the beginning was the Word and the Ward was with God and the Word was God."  John 1;1. This is the first scripture Ann was asking readers to memorize in her Jesus Project this year.  To add to that, the pastor had a great sermon on  Jesus who became flesh.  I grabbed on to these words, "Let the Word of God speak to you and through you.  He cried for you (as a baby) and He died for you.(as an adult). 

Confirmation.

Reflecting back on it all ~ Resting in Jesus (come all ye who are weary), trusting in Jesus for my healing journey, praising (Jesus), moving forward (with Jesus), reading the Word (In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God) ~~All the pieces of a divine puzzle started coming together as only God can do.  I love when that happens. 

So this year my word is Jesus.  As I read and memorize scriptures with the Jesus Project, rest by trusting all the more, praise the Lord, and move forward on my faith journey I will be focusing on Jesus.  The One who put it all together.  The Word that became flesh.