Are We There Yet?

 

Anyone who has traveled with children in tow has heard the question at some time....."Are we there yet?  The long hours of a car trip can seem endless......no matter how much time you spend on social media or playing car games.  Yeah.......are we there yet?  

This season of our lives with a pandemic moving like a tsunami into 2022 probably has us saying....Are we there yet?  To the end of this craziness.......are we there yet?  

Today as I still heal from a virus that acts like Covid but tested negative for Covid, I have found myself weary and discouraged.  And today when the wind is blowing, the temperature is dropping, and pandemic and political chaos reigns in our country, the world............I am asking, "Are we there yet?  Is the shift coming?  

This morning when I started to wallow in the weariness of it all, God brought to my mind a few things He has given me in the past......nothing new for 2022......but words from God going back over four years.  

In August 2017 we went to Bethel Church in Redding CA for 10 days.  It was not a conference, or an event, just the two of us stepping into a world we had only experienced from our living room.  And while we were there God blessed us greatly.  He also spoke to us through the prophetic words of two people whom we had never met before, but who shared their gift with others in a structured, prayerful way.   For ten minutes or more they spoke over us and were spot on with what they were saying and they also gave us words for the future.  One person said, "I see you on your hands and knees moving forward.  It is a time of humbling for you.  You have always been strong and independent, relying on yourselves and your abilities and you have a great foundation under you.  But you will need to humble yourselves and depend on God alone.  He will eventually pick you up and you will leave this season behind but during this time, remember the joy of the Lord is your strength.   It was not what we wanted to hear, but it was only a year later that I was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer and the journey has been one we could not do alone ever since. 

A few months after this prophetic word, I  had a vivid dream one night where Jesus said to me, "I am giving you a new car:.  I replied "I don't want a new car.  We love our car."  He said firmly, "I am giving you a new car".  He walked over to the car in my dream and I said, "It looks just like the old car!"  He opened the backseat for me to get it, and then he climbed in behind the wheel and said, "Let Me drive"........

Today I find myself asking Jesus..........."Are we there yet?"  When is this humbling journey coming to an end?  As I look around our country I ask "Are we there yet?"  If you are driving Jesus, are we there yet?  

So what do we do, when we are NOT there yet.  When a pandemic continues to cover us like a tsunami.  When life knocks us around.  What do we do as we sit in the backseat of the car...........We rest.  

God has been highlighting the word rest for me this whole week.  Rest has always been a four letter word that I deeply dislike, basically because I spent so many years sofa bound with Lyme Disease.   But God's word tells us to come to him and rest....and within the word rest are so many other words we need to embrace. I heard yesterday a teaching that stated that rest is relational.  It is really about being in the Presence of God.  Where we trust..............praise........... worship...........have peace........... receive God's love...........and it is in resting that we let Jesus drive the car.   

So on this cold, windy 6th day of January 2022, if you are feeling weary and not feeling the "Yeah, this is a new year"  Whoohoo", I suggest you rest.  It is okay to not be okay, and it is okay to be okay.  Just rest in His Presence.  Receive. Trust.  Praise Him.  And let Jesus drive the car.

Don't You See It?!

Forget the past............see, I am doing a new thing!  

Can you not see it?   

Today I read through Isaiah 43, after one verse popped up on Facebook.  I had been searching for a scripture, for something to wrap itself around my heart and calm the internal shaking as I waited for one more doctor appointment and one more test result.  Everything about this journey has been unpredictable, so I was holding my breath in anticipation of what was to come.  My, always hopeful, always steady, always strong hubby was showing some defeat as he walked with me through another cancer journey.  He was just as weary as I was, which had a sobering affect on me.  I hate when he is burdened with my stuff, but when you have been married 49 years that is what happens.  

So I grabbed on to Isaiah 43:19 that said,

"Look at the new thing I am going to do.  

It is already happening. 

 Don't you see it?  

I will make a road in the desert, 

I will make rivers in the dry land." ''

 Yes......we were ready for that.  A new thing......Just walking out life carefree and healthy.  In a devotional today I read..........."You will never be in complete control of your life.  It just isn't possible.  You want to feel completely safe and secure.  But even if you plan out every detail, the world will mess up your plans So just stop trying to be in control.  Stop trying to make your life completely safe and predictable.....and boring.  Instead grab My hand and jump in with both feet."   (Sarah Young, "Jesus Calling".)

It is what we want, isn't it.  Just to feel safe and secure as we live each day.  Yeah.  But our world is broken, and we need only watch the news or read a newspaper, tweet, or Facebook to see just how broken it is.  In the midst of us trying to control what is uncontrollable, Jesus says............Come on!  I am doing a new thing....See it???  Take my hand and lets jump into this together.

I am all for adventures in faithful living.  Oh, yeah.  Where do you want us to go Jesus.....we'll go!  What do you want us to do, Papa?  We will do it.  Come Holy, come!  It all sounds easy.........

Unfortunately, the enemy does not want us to surrender and jump in.  He wants us defeated and at times he throws so much crap our way that we lose our focus.  We just want to survive another day without melting into a puddle that has us surrendering not to God but to Satan's antics.  Joel and I have found it very difficult to move forward in hope lately.  And that is okay.  No condemnation and all that.  We have been taking breathers from the battles.......letting Papa and His angel armies fight for us.  I have read 6 lightweight mysteries in the past 10 days.  Joel has "putzed"  and napped more. Today's news made us stand a little straighter and injected us with more hope.  There is always hope.

The doctor's report was that the "big chunk" (doctor language) taken from my back had wide "clear" borders.  Yes!  Stitches were removed and the redness and bubbling on skin was just a reaction to the stitches.  Healing continues~ I go back every 3 months for 2 years and then every 6 months.  Good news.  We were so ready for good news from the world of white coats and stethoscopes.  We were putting our hope in the words from the doctor.  Necessary, but also not the final report.  The final reports come from God's Word.  And today His word came to us from Isaiah 43.

"Look at the new thing I am going to do.  

It is already happening. 

 Don't you see it?  

I will make a road in the desert, 

I will make rivers in the dry land." 

Rest In The Knowing

I have now received Exodus 14:14 or some version of it over twenty-six times.  It just keeps coming and along with it more and more understanding of what God is telling me.

While being part of Bonnie Gray's launch team for her latest book, "Whispers of Rest". I have realized that resting is a powerful way to battle the enemy. Not the lay down and nap kind of resting, but the trusting.  Trusting God in the battle....in the moment.....in the resting....in the knowing.

I have known that one of the ways I do life is as a warrior.  It began early on in childhood I expect, and continued on through other circumstances as a way to do life.  Staying hyper-vigilant, I know how to do battle very well.  How is that working?   Not so much.  Jesus keeps calling me to it over and over again with a gentle, loving persistence to rest in Him.

Bonnie Gray knows the journey well....her own story not unlike mine and so many others.....Different people, different locations, different circumstances but yet the same.  All having the need to rest in the arms of our Jesus and trusting Him with our life.  Trusting Him to fight for us when necessary while we rest in the knowing that all is well, that we are not alone.

Recently during my meditation time, God showed me a beautiful white stallion, almost surreal in his beauty.  Then I noticed an angelic rider holding a sword.  Immediately a long row of white horses appeared all with angelic riders carrying shiny silver swords.  Across from them was a row of black horses and hooded black faceless riders carrying dark gray swords.  The Lord's angel armies fighting the enemy's soldiers.  In what God was showing me, Joel and I walked down the row and turned to face the darkness.  Then we backed up so we were standing near the flanks protected by God's spiritual army.  I then heard the chorus....."Our God is an awesome God....He reigns from Heaven above....With wisdom power and love...our God is an awesome God. (Michael W. Smith).

Certainly there is comfort in knowing God reigns from Heaven above and He intercedes for us behind the scenes. I cannot help but think about our friend Linny, and the battle she is in.  Her body fights autoimmune diseases making this liver issue even harder to win.......BUT God.  God is God and He is fighting her battle.....we know that we know that we know that.

I think about two of our grands graduating this year.  Both of them heading off on their own to college, no longer under the daily care of their moms and dads.  We can see the turmoil in the parents as they face the changes ahead, trying not to worry or keep hold of those leaving the nest.  God will be with them, fighting for them.  Just stay calm.

Trips to the doctors, hearing words like biopsy or cancer, heart disease or Lupus.........they strike fear into our hearts.  Yet we are not alone, and we can stand firm in believing God does not want us suffering with disease.  He fights for us, and protects us under the shelter of His wings.  Just stay calm....rest my child.....rest in the knowing.

Recently I heard someone say, "I am so weary of the battle"........And I believe God would reply......"I am fighting for you, my child, just stay calm.  Trust me .......surrender your need to fight and just rest in me. I've got this.  After all, I am your Father.  Come......rest........in the knowing."

Sometimes we gear up for battle, wearing God's armor we are "dressed to kill" as Rick Renner has titled his book on spiritual warfare.  We use the tools God gives us to face the enemy.  Other times our armor is just to rest in the knowledge that God is fighting for us, and responding to that knowing with praise and thanksgiving believing we already have the victory.  We rest in the knowing.

In The Hallway

While scrolling Facebook yesterday morning a quote on Start Your Day With Jesus caught my attention.  "Don't stress over closed doors behind you.  God has NEW doors opening for you if you just keep moving forward."  It caught my attention because I had just read something else about closed doors from Dr. Brian Simmons who writes "I Hear Him Whisper".  He is also the author of the Passion Translation of the Bible.  The title of yesterday's "I Hear Him Whisper" was "The Right Door Will Open".   Then during morning devotions, up popped the closed doors theme once again.  Three times within an hour.

Today I listened to two separate teachings at Bethel.  One on the Holy Spirit and one on the story of Esther.  During each of those teachings "open doors" came up again.  God definitely has our attention.

Sometimes doors open wide, and we are able to see how God has made the way for us.  I remember when our oldest daughter Beth and her husband were living and working in the Twin Cities.  Bethany had been working at a church in a suburb there, when an opportunity for her to apply for a job at a church in Chicago came up.  I saw this opportunity and felt a strong urge from God to tell her about it.  A couple interviews and a job opening for her husband later, and they were on their way to Chicago.....many miles and hours away from us.  There were times I wished I had never seen that want ad in our ELCA's national magazine, but that would have been wrong. This was part of God's plan for their lives, and the 10 years they spent there were life changing.  Only God.

When doors close it can be difficult to see this as God.  A closed door can be discouraging in the moment.  When Joel was stationed in Duluth MN we visited friends at Luther Seminary in St. Paul. Joel knew he wanted to be a pastor, and he knew that there was a good chance he could get an early out of the Air Force.  We were so sure that this is what God wanted for us, that we even looked at buying a house only a few blocks from the seminary.  When we returned from our visit, Joel went in to the base to apply for early out.  Much to his surprise, he was told that he could not apply since he had "orders" pending.  What orders??  He soon discovered he was being sent to The Philippines.........and thankfully, we could all go with him.  That door closed hard, and we went to the P.I. for two years. Those two years were life changing in so many wonderful ways, and brought into our lives two of our children.  What blessings they are.  Only God.  And seminary?  It was still part of the plan.........but when God opened the door.

Sometimes we stand before a door, and we long for it to be open.  We look around for any sign that we are before the right door, holding the right key, any sign that God is hearing us....and we are met with silence or only hear one word.  Wait.  Waiting for the right door to open at the right time can be excruciating.  We find ourselves in the wilderness, which is just a place we don't want to be.  In this place we need to take our eyes off of our efforts and our desires and put them on Jesus. So, we praise Him in the hallway.

We praise Him in the hallway because we know all His promises in the Bible are yes and amen.  We praise Him because He has a plan for us....for good and not evil.  We praise Him because of what Jesus did for us, what He still does for us.  We praise Him in the hallway until the next door opens at exactly the right time.  Even in the hallway we are not alone.   We learn to rest in the hallway, and while we rest we praise Him!

Sometimes We Need To Just Hand God Our Warrior Princess Sword

This verse is so persistent in showing up.....Saturday night I was on Facebook and it popped up again.

"The Lord will fight for you, just stay calm."

Exodus `4:14

Sunday it came into my vision in yet another image shared.

                                                                         

Where are we going with this God?  Through prayer and meditation I have come to understand that putting aside the natural/physical of this staying calm and resting business, there is much more to grasp.  Where do we fight from?  A place of fear or a place of victory?  Who fights with us?  And who fights for us?

So Sunday morning I started doing a little google research to see what others had to say about this verse. Tony Evans, pastor and evangelist, had a good article on the topic.   He talked about the story in Exodus 14 where Moses was preparing the people to cross the Red Sea.  Pharaoh and his soldiers were coming behind them and Israel looked to be cornered.  BUT GOD....... When Moses trusted God to fight their battle, the Red Sea parted.  Think about this.  It divided.   Come with me and see it......Water on either side of Israelites high above their heads.....held back by some invisible force...by GOD.  How frightened they must have been to walk into what looked like certain death.  Did they then realize how powerful their God was?!  They must have turned to Him as the earth shook, the water rose, and everything in the natural had to give way for the supernatural!  They learned quickly that no battle is too big for God.  And to watch Pharaoh's men drown in that same sea, shouts of victory must have filled the sky.  Proverbs 21:31 tells us "Victory rests with the Lord!"

I recall a true story about a man named Mike Hesch who had a huge cancerous tumor on his chest. He believed God wanted him well, and he did everything he could to make that happen.  Continual prayers, laying on of hands, scriptures read and spoken, commanding, asking, rebuking.  After years of this he was no better and the tumor was growing.  He then came to the understanding that he had done all he could and needed to just rest assured in knowing that God would take over the battle.  The price had been paid on the cross and he, Mike, needed to just trust what he knew to be true.  Sometimes we need to fight hard against hell, and others times we need to trust God to fight for us.  As he lay on his sofa resting it came to him, "What do well people do?"  He got up and went and washed the windows that day. Thus began his journey to complete healing.  Could this be a good example of Exodus 14:14?

My tendency when I receive a verse like this over and over is to lean to the idea...."what is God preparing me for now?!"  Do I need to get armor ready like Xena, warrior princess?  Not the best thinking......my excuse is all we have been through.  It kinda keeps me living on alert.  But I don't believe this is God's intention here.  Let me repeat.  This is not God's intention.

The Christian life is often presented as a battle.  It is also an inbuilt part of many of our natures.  In truth, there are plenty of battles we fight as we experience all life has to offer.....and all the enemy brings against us.  We may be battle ready like Xena as we face each day, but maybe we need to consider that one of the best ways we fight our battles is when we rest in God and trust Him to fight for us.  When we stand firm from a place of peace instead a place of fear we are making it hard for the enemy, that ol' deceiver, to make headway against us.  Trusting God gives us the peace to declare, the joy of the Lord is our strength.  Victory is the Lord's!  Sometimes we just need to hand God our sword and rest awhile.

I'm not sure what lies behind God soaking me in this scripture, but I am embracing it.  The love that covers me every time it shows up.  The peace that comes to the surface when I declare it aloud.  The joy I feel knowing how much Papa loves me.  I receive it like a warm blanket, like a sword in my hand, like shoes of peace on my feet

Absolute Surrender

It began last fall..........the verse showed up in my vision through social media and I wrote my first post about it in mid September.....

"The Lord your God will fight for you......just stay calm."  

Exodus 14:14

This verse had jumped out at me in the questions I pondered.  And then my intuitive daughter Bethany and her family gave us a wall hanging for Christmas that resonated another translation of it.

Thus began God's persistence in bringing His Words to my attention.  Over the past four months that verse has popped up often ~ I' m thinking at least 9 times counting the one from this week that has me putting pen to paper.  

God is making a point, and as much as I don't always like the message I need to embrace it.  Just be still.... you need only be still......and let me fight for you.  

This is difficult for me....being still.   When I was sofa bound I had no choice but to be still in a broken body.  When I was set free, I vowed to never be on the sofa again, so it can be emotionally challenging for me to be still and let go.  Echoes of the past make it hard.  And speaking of echoes of the past, the "be still"l takes me back to the six year old little girl who fought against the abuse to her body.  I would resist, striving to get away, but eventually the strength and size of the abuser would overpower me.  It left an imprint on my brain.  When I could no longer resist, I was still, and bad things happened.

In my mind I know these are lies now, and Sozo has released me from most of the trauma surrounding these seasons of my life.  I know that I don't have to always be the fighter, the resistor, the striver.  I know I am safe now, but at times the old way of survival rises from the grave.  And sometimes my urge to fight my own battles gets in the way of what God is doing.  Just saying............

In the past, when God has sent me the same verses over and over again from different sources, he wants my attention.  I confess many of those times were connected to God trying to tell me to rest in him....be quiet in Him.....be still in Him. It is what I now describe as "absolute surrender"......words came to me from God as I meditated with Him this morning.  Absolute surrender requires absolute trust.  

Can you relate?  We hear all the time we are to fight to win the race....even Paul tells us that in the battle.  But in truth we cannot do this alone.  I'm sure God is not done showing me what he wants me to grasp from this subject, but today I am holding on to the comforting words that HE is my defender and I can trust Him.  I can lean back in His arms as the "little girl" and be safe.  I can lean back into His arms as an adult and trust Him to fight for me.  I don't need to always be fighting my way out of disease or distress.  God wants me to let go of the old way of living and trust Him.  He wants us all to trust Him with our past, our present, our future.  We look to Him alone.

When we trust God, when we believe His promises, when we understand Jesus as our healer, protector, provider, friend, warrior......then we can let Him fight for us and be at rest about it.  It is not that we stop doing our part, but we learn to stop striving alone, and walk forward from a place of knowing we have the victory through Jesus!  We give Him absolute surrender knowing that He fights our battles and that no one can stop the Lord almighty!   

                             

   

Mountains, Butterflies, and Sleighs

Today I stopped over to my internet friend Sharon's cyber home and read a powerful post and analogy about God being like a mountain in our lives. Solid, never moving.   It was just what I needed to hear today as the problems in life began to appear like mountains. Immovable and never-ending. The Bible tells us we are to "cast those problem mountains into the sea", but sometimes the mountains become so much bigger than my God as I focus on them...speaking to them and commanding them to be gone.  Sometimes I forget that I need to tell the problem how big my God is, NOT tell God how big my problem is.

God, in His love and wisdom, presented me with Sharon's words of insight this morning, and peace settled right back into my soul.  It can be so easy to take our focus off of what God has done for us, how much He loves us, and wants what is best for us.

We have been praying for friends and family, and friends of friends and family who are in storms and finding the "mountain shrouded by fog" like Sharon spoke of today.  Dear sweet children like Steven and Samuel who are fighting cancer and dear James and his medical challenges.  Friends and family who battle the disease called cancer ~~Dale, Kris, Barb, Jo.  Myself as I wearily prepare for cataract surgery the end of the month.  Those who search for answers.  And our sweet friend, A. ,who battles Lyme with such grace and deep faith in our God.    Our hearts break for those who are walking through storms.  The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy.

When life gets in the way and screams at us on a level that is hard to ignore, we can get lost in the voices that speak death and destruction.  When we are in a vulnerable place, the future can look uncertain. Some might wonder where God is in the midst of it all.  He is here.  Solid, immovable. Offering abundant life.

Last night Bethel had their baptismal service and I listened as person after person, and child after child shared why they wanted to be baptized.  Over and over I heard.....because Jesus died for me....loves me......healed me.......Never changing is our God.

This morning as we meditated and prayed about our future, saying "yes" to God at all cost, I saw clearly Joel and I being held in the large hand of God.  We were holding hands, and also each of us had hold of a finger of God's as we moved around swiftly and with such grace that soon it was like we were on a butterfly as we soared and yet then seemed to glide across an invisible ice as if in a sleigh. It was Wonderful.  We were in the Father's hand together and all was well.

He is here.  He walks beside us holding our hand.  He walks before us preparing the way.  He walks behind us because He has us covered.  He carries us because He loves us. with such a deep unfathomable love.   And sometimes we soar on the wings of a butterfly or glide in a sleigh with Him on our journey.  He is always with us.  Always.  Solid, immovable like a mountain.  The great I AM holding us in the palm of His hand.

In The Midst of it All

I woke up this morning after 9 1/2 hours of sleep and thought.....I don't really want to go to Bible study today.  I have no energy, I am down and out, and lets add a little "poor me" to that.  I hurt and I don't like going out in public without a bra.  Seriously, I am way to over-endowed for this kind of free living!  I told Joel I was not sure I was going and he said, "Well just ask Holy about it. "  I knew I was not in a good place when I resisted asking.......

I showered, dressed and then asked.  I asked Holy if He wanted me to go to Bible Study......He said, "It is up to you."  I then asked if it would help me if I went and before I could finish asking I got a strong, "Yes!"  Okay then.

I went in down and came out up.  Isn't that just how it goes when we study the Word, share with fellow believers, and are able to lay hands on and pray over those in need.  Hearing the faith stories of others is always uplifting.  Seeking wisdom found in His Word encourages.....Getting the perspectives of others enlightens.  Praying for others brings our focus on the One.  God is in the midst of His people.

.  This morning I saw on the TV a written statement concerning this latest mass murder in CA.  "GOD IS NOT FIXING THIS"  I don't know what it means and I am not so sure I want to know either.

Where is God in the midst of it all?  In the midst of a newborn baby who's brain is dying............in the midst of a waiting room with women suffering from the affects of radiation............in the midst of a group of people celebrating Christmas who are gunned down by senseless violence...in the midst of it all.......

God is in the midst of it all.  It is much easier to see God at work in a room full of women studying prayer, and actively praying, then in the midst of a senseless  act of violence or a baby dying.  God does not want this baby dying, women suffering, mass murders.  NO.  It is Heever from God.  It is the enemy that has come to kill, steal, and destroy.  Not God.

God weeps with us.  I had someone ask me once where God was when I was being sexually abused as a young child.  I told this person that God was with me, holding my hand and crying with me.  God weeps today too.  He waits in expectation for us to seek Him.  God weeps with those who mourn the loss of life yesterday in CA.  He walks with those who endure the radiation in the hope of restoring their health, and provides the wisdom and care of the medical world.  He comforts the baby who's brain is dying.  He heals.

I don't pretend to have answers to the whys of sickness, disease, pain, abuse, and murder that comes against people.  BUT when the world seems to be losing its senses, when the enemy of God seems to be winning the battles, what I do have is His Word and His promises. And His Word is truth.  I do have His truth.  I hold tightly to His truth.  It is all there, inside those pages. And the truth sets us free.

A Touch From God, Something More, and The War We Fight

The first time I felt the physical touch of God was back in 1974.  I was hungry for more in my faith, searching for peace in my life.  At that time we were attending a Lutheran church in Duluth, MN in the mornings and a Spirit flowing place called The Tabernacle on Sunday nights.  One night I went up to the altar to pray.  As I knelt there with my hands folded I felt someone unclasp my hands and lift them up into the air.  As this was happening I could feel warm hands on mine, so I opened my eyes to see who was doing this.  No one was there.  No one was nearby.  The warm hands I felt were not visible to my human eyes.

This event impacted my life, deepening my desire for "more" of God's presence.  Moving to the Philippines brought me to friends who had the gift of a prayer language and seemed to have that "something more" I desired.  I took great comfort and strength as part of a group of interdenominational women who spent time worshiping, praising, and praying together on a weekly basis.  I even experienced healing for a large boil when a group of women prayed over me.  Oh how I missed my friends (love you Helen H.) after heading home.  I still miss that group 39 years later. 

When we returned to the states I read Catherine Marshall's book, "Something More" over and over.  Frances Hunter also became part of my reading menu during the charismatic 70's.  Then life intervened.  We lived in a traditional Lutheran world.  Our family grew, sickness took hold, and it took another 36 years for me to be gifted with my own prayer language and experience once again the presence of God in a physical way through healing and through Holy Spirit manifesting.  I love my relationship with the Trinity now.  I could never go back, and pray daily that God will open up to us more of His presence in our lives in anyway He sees fit.

Thinking about this took me back to a time 3 years ago when someone asked me where God was when at age 6, I was being sexually abused.  Joel and I believe He was right there beside me, weeping with me.  You see, He has given us a free will.  He gave Adam and Eve dominion over the earth and nature, but then sin entered in.  In our fallen world, bad things happen to good people.  Satan has come to kill, steal, and destroy, not God.  I don't blame God for what happened.  I was in a situation that opened the doors to abuse from an older cousin and then a friend of the family.  Evil walked in the door and my circumstances made it possible.  God did not want me suffering abuse, it was NOT part of His plan for my life.  Evil in any form is not part of His plan for anyone's life. 

Over the years of Joel's ministry and our own lives, we have heard so many stories of neglect, abuse, hate, deceit, and even murder.  In our broken world we all experience Satan at work.

I cannot help but think about the 9 people who were murdered last night during a prayer meeting by an evil young man who wanted to "kill black people".  How do we make sense of that?  We know where these people are now...heaven rejoiced and welcomed them home..... but they died because evil entered their church in the form of a lost young man.

Oh, come Holy Spirit come, fill us with your goodness and give us courage to fight evil in all forms.  Give us courage to follow your command to preach the gospel, heal the sick, cast out demons, and raise the dead.  You commanded us to love one another.  You knew we would need to fight a spiritual war when you gave us these commands.  We.  are. at. war.  Let our light so shine that others will hunger for what we have.  Let Your presence fill our bodies, our homes, our churches, our communities and drive out evil in every form.  Come Holy Spirit come. Bring us a touch from God.

Seeking Spiritual Whitespace

This past Sunday afternoon through Tuesday noon Joel and I attended the Northeast Iowa Synod pastors retreat in Dubuque Iowa.  It was the first time I went, so I was looking forward to the retreat and meeting some of Joel's colleagues.

My expectation was that we would be engaged in what Bonnie Gray calls "spiritual whitespace"  A time of rest and renewal....in ways that bring you peace and joy and healing. 

There was a speaker from Chicago's ELCA headquarters whose list of accomplishments and degrees took 5 minutes to read!  She lived and breathed academia, and for six hours over 2 days we took in her lectures.  I am not a theologian, but I was not the only one who found her fascination with research and presentation of Jesus as male and female a bit, actually more than a bit unsettling.   For me it was also frustrating and definitely not relaxing.  It was hard work for my brain to stay engaged.  I speak from my heart first and run it through my brain.  She spoke from her brain.

On day two I looked around and observed other rostered pastors, spouses, and staff.  Were any of them waiting for the point to be recognized, and how to apply this information to ourselves and our congregations?  Many had their iPads, tablets, and phones in hand.  Some were checking emails and Facebook (yep), others were taking notes.  I was making an effort to stay focused.

Don't get me wrong, there is a place for this kind of learning, although in all honesty, you could not pay me to sit through it again!  What kept running through my head was the question..."Is this a retreat or continuing education?"  In my opinion, there was nothing restoring or healing about those hours spent on hard chairs. 

In search of spiritual whitespace, I began to look forward to the worship times.  A man named Richard Bruxvoort Colligan led worship with Psalms set to music, using guitar, banjo, and drums.  It was beautiful, as we sang David's songs of lament and praise.  He would engage us in deep breathing, prayer for those on our left and right, and have us sit in silence until it became almost uncomfortable.  In these morning and evening moments, spiritual whitespace existed.  Moments to restore, rest, renew.  Moments to connect with Jesus in intimacy, One on one.   We also attended a service at Wartburg Seminary.  There is nothing like hearing a church filled with pastors singing.  Oh my the power in their voices!  Great food for the soul. 

Reflecting back on these days, I realized that no matter the circumstances, we have the opportunity to seek out and find spiritual whitespace, as we did within the beautiful music, the powerful church service at the Wartburg chapel, and even while swopping stories of our first years of ministry with friends over a meal.  Seek and ye will find.....  God waits patiently for us, in nature, in church, in our living rooms, even in hotel conference rooms.  He longs to give us nourishment for the soul.

Come To Me

This last Friday a sweet friend and I had a good conversation about what we are walking through in our faith journeys.  She awaits the birth of her child and is standing firmly focused on Jesus.  I am moving through a symptom challenge and standing firm myself.  As often happens K. shared words from God that resonated for me too.  God is like that.....bringing souls together.....using His words to reach more than one.....speaking in a way that brings our eyes right back where they need to be.  On Him. 

Ann Voskamp shared this video on Facebook yesterday morning.  Joel likes to arrive 45 minutes ahead of church starting, so as I sat waiting for the time to pass beforehand, I listened to Jenn Johnson from Bethel Church sing "Come To Me".    I immediately entered into a place of rest.  Yes, once again the Creator has been speaking to me about rest.  That place right close to the Son that gives us a peace we don't quite understand but long for.  That Something more.

When praying for guidance in the "storm", God talked to me through my friend, speaking to us both, " "It's not about you.  I am enough.  Resist the devil not from a place of striving, but from a place of rest." 

God continued answering my asking early Sunday morning with several words from a TV preacher ~
"Keep you peace.  Enter into a place of rest.  Resist the devil from a place of rest.  No weapon formed against you will prosper."  Two hours later I was flooded with His Presence as Jenn Johnson filled the air with her praises for the Lord of Peace. 

I just love how God meets us where we are at with just what we need to move forward.   He loves us that much.  He desires an intimate relationship with us.  We were created for that.  He beckons us with "Come to me...."   He beckons to His place of rest where He is more than enough. 

In Quietness and Trust

As most of you know, Joel and I were both healed from Lyme Disease and other conditions over two years ago.  Joel's healing took place instantly.  As our friend LInny says, it was a microwave healing after Joel and I watched a teaching on God's will to heal.  Some of my healing was microwave, some has been more crockpot (slow cooker) style ~ a process.  A lot of inner healing had to take place first at God's insistence.   A few symptoms remain, which I believe will also leave.  Recently one symptom I usually battle on a small scale, returned with a vengeance and has been speaking loudly.  It will remain nameless, as I don't want to shine a spotlight on it.  But suffice to say, I am so grateful for the prayer warriors who have been on their knees and standing in agreement with us, just like Aaron and Hur held Moses arms up when he needed support.  Joel and I have been praying and commanding as believers, and keeping our eyes on the Healer and His promises. We know the outcome.  We know that no name is above the name of Jesus.  The battle is won because I walk in victory.  according to His Word.  We all walk in victory thanks to Jesus.

For reasons we do not understand this battle sometimes ramps up between 12 and 2am making it hard  to sleep.  Anxiety creeps in as I remember the past and how difficult it was to deal with.  It is during these times that we put our focus on how BIG our God is and not how big our problem is.  No weapon formed against us will prosper.  

Today as we did our private study time before coming together to have devotions, Joel said to me, '"I have a verse for you!"  (concerning the symptom).  He began to read Isaiah 30:15.  As he read, I smiled and felt the love of God envelop me.  You see, this verse and I are old time friends.  It was December 13, 2012 that God first brought this verse to me.  Just one week later when I went to the first Sozo Ministry session for inner healing (as directed by God), one of the women intercessors in the session with me said, "I have a verse for you from God.......Isaiah 30:15. " I knew then that God was using this ministry for healing.  Once again this morning, God reminded me of His presence and promises.  Joel did not remember the importance of this verse for me, but God did.  Only God.

This verse is written on my blog page, and I wear it on my wrist.  I wear a bracelet made by Ann Voskamp's son Caleb that says, "in quietness and trust shall be your strength.".  It is a daily reminder of where my help comes from.  It is a daily reminder to rest in the knowing what I know that I know.  God's promises are real.  We all can lean back and rest in Him trusting when it is hard to trust.  Resting when it is hard to rest.  In the stillness we keep our eyes on Him.  Our Savior.  Our Healer.

I love how God uses Scripture to speak to us.  It is His LIVING Word.  It is a weapon of warfare as stated in Galatians.  It heals as stated in Proverbs 4 and Psalm 107.  Let us never underestimate the power of His Word in every situation, in every circumstance, in every sickness, every symptom.  Especially with the enemy.  We fight the enemy, who has come to steal, kill and destroy.  But why has Jesus come?  To give us life and to give it more abundantly.  Hold that promise tight!

We can stand on His Word in quietness and trust, knowing the same power that raised Jesus from the dead resides in us giving us the strength to prevail.  God is more than willing to remind us of His promises.  Whether through your hubby, God's written Word, or that gentle whispering Voice within.

In quietness and trust.......

Space To Breathe

This week Bonnie Gray over at Faith Barista asked her readers to write about an experience with spending time in quietness. Bonnie wrote a book I have talked about here often as part of her launch team ~~"Finding Spiritual Whitespace:  Awakening Your Soul To Rest".  Whitespace is that space where we rest with God as His beloved.  Finding joy in the quiet places.

When I read Bonnie's prompt, I immediately saw in my mind a recent moment of quietness.  Joel and I were channel surfing one evening and could not find anything worthwhile to watch on the screen from our comfy chairs.  After a few minutes Joel stood up and said, "I am not going to sit and watch lousy TV another night.  Let's do something!  Let's go to the lake".  Iowa has very few lakes but there is one only a 20 minute drive from us that we enjoy going to.  We grabbed our sunglasses and hats and off we went.

Soon we found ourselves sitting on a bench in front of the lake.  The sun was warm and low on the horizon and the winds were gentle.  Several people were strolling together along the walkway and others were sitting on the beautiful stone wall built during the depression era. Boats, pontoons and jet skies criss-crossed through the water as it reflected the sun's light.  Families stood out on the docks fishing.  Far across the horizon the "Lady of the Lake" double-decker paddlewheel boat was taking people for a evening ride.

As we sat together arm in arm, I could feel my body relax.  Large bodies of water seems to have that affect on people, or at least on us.  We spent a glorious hour de-stressing while enjoying the view.  Conversation was optional as we sat quietly watching a screen only nature could create.  It was such an enjoyable evening we have gone back a few more times. 

It is so important to take time for quiet spaces, for whitespaces where we rest with God.  Where we stop doing and embrace being.  Bonnie's book, "Finding Whitespace" is a wonderful guide for moving into that place of rest, of trusting God while sitting in quietness. 

I am linking up today with Bonnie and her Whitespace Link Up.

Come To Me

 

It was early in the fall of 2012 that I began receiving this scripture found in Matthew 11:28-30.  When I receive a scripture three times or more I pay attention because I know God is speaking to me, but during the fall of 2012 I received these words from God 23 times.  Twenty-three times in six weeks!  It was even to the point that early one morning I was watching TV and the Catholic Diocese had an ad that came on....the scripture they quoted?  Matthew 11:28-30. 

"Come to me all you who are weary and carrying heavy burdens,

Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me;

 for I am gentle and humble in heart

and you will find rest for your souls. 

For my yoke is easy and my burden in light."

Matthew 11:28-30
 

It did not take long for me to realize that God was really serious in His message to me, so I began to stop resisting and began opening my heart to what he wanted to tell me about resting.  You see, REST was a four letter word to me.  Yes, I know it is only four letters long but you know what I mean.  I had spent the past 10 years forced by Lyme Disease to rest most of every single day.  I was homebound and isolated from the world, barely hanging on to life according to my doctors.  So when God opened my eyes to all He had and has for us, He placed me on an exciting journey in healing, and the last thing on my mind was resting. I was eager for complete healing, making every effort to have it!  Yet Jesus was telling me to rest in Him.  Rest.  I can remember responding like a child and saying, "No!!"  I do not want to rest. Yet I could not ignore the 23 times I received His Word on resting from 23 different sources  "come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest."  Rest for our souls.

What Jesus revealed to me was a different kind of rest than what I had been forced to endure.  This was more an entering into rest with Jesus.  (Thus the title of my blog now).  What I learned during that season of my life was that my striving for healing was not productive....it was controlling and came from a place of fear.  Jesus was speaking to me about trusting Him on my healing journey! We cannot rest with Jesus unless we trust in Jesus.  I needed to trust Him when He told me I would be well.  I needed to trust Him when He revealed that Jesus already paid the price for my healing....for all healing.  I began to speak it aloud.  "I trust you Jesus."  "I trust you when my circumstances di not line up with Your Word."  I needed to rest in His love for me, just staying calm, knowing that He would fulfill His promises.  He has and He is. 

During this time I learned something else.  There was beauty to be found in this resting, because there is beauty to be found in trusting in Jesus. Jesus is our Healer, our Savior, our Provider.  We can rely on His promises.  That is beautiful to behold! 

There are still times Jesus has to remind me to rest....to trust....and it is during those times I recall what Jesus promised.  "Come to me.....I will give you rest for your soul." 

I am linking up with Bonnie over at Faith Barista and writing on her prompt words, "moments of beauty and rest".

With His Love

When I receive certain verses more than once or receive several verses on the same topic I pay attention to what God is trying to tell me.  Early in the week the word quiet showed up several times in scripture.

"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him."

Psalm 62:5

"You're my place of quiet retreat,

I wait for your Word

to renew me."

Psalm 119:114

Msg

 I knew these blessings were more for my mind than my body.  My body has been demanding I rest, but my mind was resisting.  And these verses reminded me of the scripture God gave me to go with my words for 2013~rest and trust.

"In repentance and rest you will be saved.  In quietness and trust will be your strength."

Isaiah 30:15

The main verse that I focused on was Zephaniah 3:17........starting with the part that I read in my Daily Light devotional.  "He will quiet you with His love".  Later that day I came across the whole scripture on a blog I was visiting.

"The Lord your God will be with you.  He is mighty to save.  

He will quiet you with His love.  He will take great delight in you.  

He will rejoice over you with singing!"

Zephaniah 3:17

This verse is packed full of good news!  We are first told God is WITH us.  Always.  Forever.  With. We are never alone.  What a comfort that is.

Then we read He is mighty to save.  Our Rescuer.  Sending His Son to save us.  Savior.  A mighty warrior on our behalf.

Next we learn how He quiets us.  With Love, not just any love~HIS love.  This part of the scripture has been my rock this week.  Washed in His blood and now His love.  Amazing.

We hear that He takes great delight in us.  Not just ordinary delight which would be more than enough, but GREAT delight.  The definition of delight is to take joy or pleasure and enjoyment in.  This is how our Father God feels about us.  This is how important we are to Him!

 Finally, He rejoices over us with singing.  God feels so happy and joyful about us He sings over us.  Powerful! 

How can we doubt the Fathers love for us?  I am taking note of God's instructions to let Him quiet me with His love.  To remember.............He delights, He saves, He is with, He sings, He loves. I pray the same for you.  That you be quieted and embraced by our Father God's love. 

Passing The Test

"Come to me all who are weary and carrying heavy burdens

And I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you.

  Let me teach you for I am gentle and humble of heart, 

and I will give you rest for your soul.  

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30

Last fall God blessed me with 26+ (I quit counting after 26) encounters with the above verses in Matthew 11 in only a few weeks.  God was making more than a small effort to get His message across to me!   I believe He was preparing me, teaching me, and providing the answers I needed for peace in my circumstances just like any loving Father would do.  With patience He gently reminded me over and over again that the only place to rest was with Him.  Trust Me....Trust Me....He was whispering.

Needless to say, after last fall's encounters with Matthew 11:28-30, I felt the words I was to meditate on this year were "rest" and " trust".  They really are connected for me.  I truly need to trust God in order to rest in Him.  His plan, His love, His healing, His wisdom.  Rest in Him.  I even changed the title of my blog in my quest for entering into rest with our Lord Jesus. 

Now if I could just make the leap into His lap and stop struggling.......

This past Sunday morning Joel Osteen spoke on "entering His rest".  Especially at times when our circumstances have us feeling overwhelmed or we are challenged by storms that come our way.

A storm comes up.........financial, emotional, physical, spiritual.  Money is scarce, anxiety wants to take up residence, the doctor gives us a bad report, or we find ourselves wondering where God is in our mess.  A storm.

God wants us to trust Him in ALL circumstances.  He wants us to climb up on His lap and rest while we let him calm the storm, or calm us while we (God and us) go through the storm. 

I flunked the test.  You see, Joel Osteen said yesterday, "When you are at rest, you are passing the test."  I flunked the test.    :)    When I "rest", when I stop striving to get well, I truly feel anxious, because I believe deep down in the six year old part of me that when you stop fighting, when you are still and stop resisting, bad things happen to you.  I also am one who prays, but then I take the reins back from God's more than capable hands!  Thus:  I. Struggle. with. resting.

When I was battling Lyme Disease I would pray and pray about it, and then I did research and more research,  followed a strict diet, took a ton of supplements, herbs, and antibiotics, and followed a rigid sleep and rest schedule.  I felt I just had to do everything exactly right in order to get the 2 + 2 = 4 result I was looking for.   It is not that those things did not help, they did......but I did not trust the doctors or God to get me the results I desired.  As you probably know the healing that came my way in the past year was the result of prayer.  Only prayer.  Interesting.

Now, with the setbacks I have had this year I am still striving to get the results I desire WHEN I desire them. I end up taking my eyes off of Jesus and unto Dr. Google or my own efforts.  Striving.

That brings me back to the resting.  God has shown me the same verses in Jeremiah a few times concerning my healing.  "I will give you back your health and heal your wounds says the Lord."

I know I will be healed.  He has promised to give me back my health.  He has promised to heal my soul wounds.  But when?  I resist it being at His timing.  It is hard for me to trust sitting on His lap.  It is hard to rest in His arms and trust Him with it all. 

Just being honest here.

Because, here is where the truth lies about my present journey......When I enter into His rest, I am passing the test. 

I have learned from Ann Voskamp that one way to learn to trust is by taking in all those small and large things in life.  Write them down and meditate on all God blesses us with on a daily basis.   "Eucharisto comes before the miracle." (Ann)  Grace.....gratitude......trust.

So each day I am making the effort to find those things I am grateful for.  In the midst of feeling just plain awful I am holding on to those many things that come my way by the grace of God.

Laughing with Joel
Crying with Joel over the death of our sweet dog Levi last Friday
A cardinal stopping by and gracing my view
A heavy rain that reminds me of our years in The Philippines
Being able to sit on a stool and make pancakes
Eat pancakes with fresh strawberries and coconut whipped cream
Sitting in what was once my mom's recliner and remembering her
A text from a daughter with pictures to share
Entering Papa God's rest and sitting on His lap...even for a moment
Passing the test....one day at a time. 

Entering His Rest

 "Come to me all who are weary and carrying heavy burdens

And I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you.

  Let me teach you for I am gentle and humble of heart, 

and I will give you rest for your soul.  

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30

I have changed the title of my blog!  Lately life does not seem like an adventure but more a place of resting with the Lord.  After receiving Matthew 11:28-30 nearly thirty times over a period of weeks in late fall 2012, I am only now beginning to understand these words from Jesus.  It seems only right to make a shift here, too, as I grow and learn from my Teacher.

This past week I have begun reading several things about "entering His rest" and what it means.  Reading what the Bible has to say about rest, and what teachers like Graham Cooke, Faith Blatchard, Andrew Wommack, and Greg Mohr say on the subject is enlightening me.  So much to learn so little time.  For now, I am resting physically and spiritually, and give thanks for God's goodness, and for those of you who grace my cyber home.

Come To Me

I love this video and song by Kari Jobe so much I am sharing it a second time.  It goes along with the verses that have come my way again this week.  God is urging me to rest in Him as I come to a place of trusting  my future in His loving hands.

 

"Come to me all who are weary and carrying heavy burdens

And I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you.

  Let me teach you for I am gentle and humble of heart, 

and I will give you rest for your soul.  

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30

God's Waiting Room

It is the day before Easter.  In some denominations, this day is called the the Easter Vigil.  At services held,  baptisms and communion are offered.  In most Christian homes, the day is spent in preparation as we wait for Easter to arrive. The family gathers to dye Easter eggs,  there may be last minute shopping for the latest fashions and baskets for the kids, and kitchens are busy preparing food for a big dinner after services on Sunday.

After Good Friday's sobering services, we look forward to the hallelujahs of Easter morning! And the day in between...........Saturday............seems to be the day of waiting.  Waiting to hear those words that define our faith. 

He is Risen!

I  wonder what was going through the minds of the apostles....of Mary the mother of Jesus.....of those believers who heard the Word or were healed by His touch.  Did they wait with baited breath this day? He was to rise on the third day....did they wonder if it would happen?  Did they trust His words?  Did they wait in anticipation and some sense of hope while they gathered in God's waiting room.


Have you ever found yourself in God's waiting room?  It is not an easy place to be if we are focused on getting answers, on our circumstances, or on the what-ifs that come with life. Waiting.

W.a.i.t.i.n.g. 

Waiting feels like we are doing nothing...hearing nothing....seeing nothing.....But waiting is an action and it requires faith.  Faith is daring the soul to believe what the eyes cannot yet see.  We wait for Jesus with anticipation.  With hope.  We wait with hope because we know the rest of the story.    We know that He died and rose again for our sins and for our sicknesses. We know He sits at the right hand of God.  We know the rest of the story as we sit in God's waiting room.  We can find rest for our soul here, as we trust in His promises. 

"Those who wait upon The Lord will renew their strength.

They will soar high on wings like eagles

They will run and not grow weary

They will walk and not b faint."

Isaiah 40:31

Today is the Easter Vigil, but for those of us who await the words  "He is Risen" with a knowing heart, we find peace in the waiting room.  We know the rest of the story and can trust it with all our heart.

Come To Me You Weary One

COME TO ME YOU WEARY ONE

By

Kari Jobe

"Come to me all who are weary and carrying heavy burdens

And I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you.

  Let me teach you for I am gentle and humble of heart, 

and I will give you rest for your souls.  

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30

It is Holy Week and watching The Bible last night on the Lifetime channel brought to life the period of time that led up to Jesus death, and the great suffering He carried for our sins at Calvary.  "We will never know the cost to see our sins upon that cross" ~ this is a verse in a praise song that speaks so much that truth....... We will never know the depth of what it cost.

This song by Kari Jobe has been anointing me with comfort this week.  I am weary.  And yet I cannot help but ponder and give thanks for what Jesus sacrificed for me...for you.....for all.  With perfect love He opens His arms and gives us shelter from our struggles....as we remember that the cross provided rest for our souls.