Lime Green Tennis Balls

This week I have been sorting through some of the over 1250 articles I have written for my blog.  In the process I came across this one written in 2012, and decided to re-share it with you readers.  

In the dream I was sitting in my home church sanctuary, which was quite large. Behind me was a big balcony. While in the pew, probably the 5^th pew from the front on the left side where we always sat as a family, I kept getting hit with tennis balls. Lime green ones. I kept looking around to see where they were coming from but could not see anyone throwing them. Finally I asked aloud, "WHERE are these tennis balls coming from??" A voice answered, "Satan". I looking up behind me as another one came down and hit its target~ ouch! While glancing over my shoulder I also noticed that many of the tennis balls never made it down to me, but were stuck in mid-air!

In my sleep I immediately thought, "I really need to change this dream".....so as the tennis balls were reigning down on me, I heard myself say, "Satan, in the name of Jesus and by the authority given to me as a believer who is 1/3 wall to wall Holy Ghost, I command you leave this sanctuary! You cannot stay here!" Of course he left. He has to!

I awakened from the dream and as I lay in bed, I started pondering the meaning of it. Very quickly I heard a voice inside me saying, "YOU are the temple of God, YOU are the sanctuary of God and Satan has no authority over you. A light bulb moment ~ the sanctuary in the dream was actually me.

“You realize, don't you, that you are the temple of God, and God himself is present in you?

No one will get away with vandalizing God's temple, you can be sure of that.

God's temple is sacred—and you, remember, are the temple.”

I Corth 3: 16,17

The Message

I continued to lay quietly in bed and ponder the tennis balls. Satan was hitting me with tennis balls....hmmm What does that mean? First of all, tennis balls are not rocks! They can hurt but not really harm me. They certainly cannot kill me! Even if they could,  death has no lasting power because we have eternal life!!! AND all those balls stuck in the air?? I realized that they were the ones that God kept from reaching me. I was protected from many of Satan's "fiery arrows" that came in the form of lime green tennis balls!!

The Lord was taking care of me even when I did not know I needed it! God is always watching over us. I fell back to sleep thanking the Lord for his protection, thanking Him for giving us the Holy Spirit within and the believer's authority to tell Satan to take a hike. Thanking Him that Satan has NO authority and runs from the name of Jesus. Thanking God that I am being pelted by tennis balls and not rocks.

Lime green tennis balls? Who would have thought I would find comfort in such a thing....but I did. God can use all things for our good, even a dream about tennis balls!

** Much has happened since this dream eight years ago.  There have been more of those lime green objects tossed my way and I would say a few rocks too.  In fact, I would venture to guess that in 2020 we have all had more than a few tennis balls thrown our way, finding their target in the process.  But God is aware of every one of them.  And His Word still holds true.  It may be wise to carry around a tennis racket to return those balls to the sender!  We can do so as we speak to our mountains and remember, we are His sanctuary.  His temple.  His child.  And 1/3 wall to wall Holy Ghost.

"Surfing Uncertainty"

I was reading an article about Alan Alda in the AARP magazine yesterday and his response to the journalist's question got me thinking.  He was asked if he was optimistic about the future for his kids and grandkids and he responded that with the world changing so rapidly, he did not think there was any point to being optimistic or pessimistic....people just needed to "surf uncertainty because that is all we get".

I understood what he was saying..........there is a whole lot of uncertainty going on around us right now.  In our world, our country, our states, our communities, and I would expect within ourselves and each personal journey.  We are riding the waves of uncertainty about tomorrow.....But unlike Alda, a man who is a proclaimed agnostic, I know there is more to the equation.

When I visualized myself surfing the waves of uncertainty, I saw myself "attached" to the board with that ankle leash that keeps the board and rider connected.  That is how I see life I guess.  Uncertainty may fill our world to overflowing right now, but we are not alone.  There is a Certainty, the One, our Lord Jesus and   HE is our certainty in an uncertain world.  No matter what is going on around us, and plenty is, He is there.  His promises keep us steady while on this ride.

I am continually amazed at how divided our country has become.  Social media has made that so easy.  We can't agree on anything, it seems, but maybe one thing still can hold us together.  Maybe one thing, not really a thing but the One who can unite us.  Jesus.

The pain and suffering is palpable in our country right now.  So much loss.....jobs, finances, health, socializing, life as we knew it, and even life itself.  Man oh man it is challenging.  But God.............

No matter where we find ourselves today.  No matter what waves we are riding , we must remember to get on that surfboard of life eternal and keep our eyes on the shoreline.  Stay connected.  Stay focused.  Stay believing on what we know for sure, what IS certain in the uncertainty.

It Is Coming, Receive It

I had been journaling with God and sat back and closed my eyes to wait for His response.  I immediately saw myself on my knees.  All around me the ground was burned, blackened from fire and there was a layer of ashes everywhere, some still smoldering.  I heard God say, "I want you to visualize the beauty that will come from theses ashes."  I then saw myself lift my arms up into the air and heard the chorus of the song, "Rise Up".  I then saw myself stand up with my arms in the air, giving thanks to God.  

I have been praying Isaiah 61:3 lately, asking God for beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of heaviness.  The beauty for ashes has laid on my heart as a reminder that God does just that.  He turns ashes into beauty.  Have you felt the heaviness of our country, our world weighing you down?  In many respects this is a season of mourning, even despair for people, and sometimes ashes.  But God.   God promises to the city of Zion..........and to all of His children...........beauty for ashes.

There are many circumstances in our lives and the lives of those we know and care about that give us the need to hold tight to His promise.  There are situations with people we don't even know that need God placed right in the center, right now.  Is there anything you need God to bring beauty from?  Is there joy needed to replace your mourning?  Do you need a garment of praise covering you to replace the spirit of heaviness?  Yeah..........me too.

God's promises are for today.  Bring it on God!  That beauty for ashes, that joy, that praise that can clothe us.  Bring it on God!  I receive it.  We receive it.   We rise up from the ashes and receive the beauty coming.  It is coming.  Receive it.

Let Me Rock Your Boat

Yesterday we fasted in preparation for a session of prayer last night with a couple from AZ who have a powerful ministry.  They are good friends with our sweet friends Dw and Linny, who suggested we call them. We felt the need for some prayer....and insights so we set a time to talk last night.  During this time of fasting we took the time to listen to our recorded prophetic session from when we were at Bethel Church in CA in the fall of 2017.  Please note that when we receive words we pray over them, looking for God to come through in the words that come from others.  Testing the truth of it in scripture and discernment.   We strongly believe the words spoken during that session were from God and we hold them close whether we understand it all or not.

We received several things we are hanging on to, but one that stood out for me today was when the man, who was also named Joel, asked us if we ever rock the boat......He said it was a bit strange, but he saw a vision of us rocking a boat.  We did tell him in our world, that we probably do rock boats with what we believe and practice, things such as God wants us ALL well, Jesus died for sins AND sicknesses.  Holy Spirit wants to shake up your world with visions, encounters, and His Presence "manifested" in many ways.  Speaking in tongues is a gift available to all, etc. etc.  It makes some people uncomfortable.  Been there myself.   In the words this other Joel said, he told us God wants us to keep rocking the boat.  He kept saying it over and over again  "keep rocking the boat".  He told us we are very aware that we are doing what God wants us to do......and then said, "God says when you stop rocking the boat He will be bringing you home.  To heaven.  In other words, we replied.........."Keep rocking the boat!"

The past few months, this challenging journey we are on, has kept our focus narrow and has not left much room for rocking boats and truthfully at times I have doubted and struggled with His promises to me for healing.  Were God's promises lies?  Even saying that makes me uncomfortable.  God never lies. And His promises are "yes and Amen".  Over time I have told Joel more than once that I questioned how I could speak about healing being for now and for all when I am battling cancer for the 4th time and the future looks scary?  I was healed of Lyme, of chemical sensitivities, of cancer, of thyroid disease ( no longer on meds after 27 yrs).  Healed of a cyst on my leg....it just left!  Healed of living life from my sofa.......  And yet.......here I am in the midst of the biggest battle of my life so far.  Can I still speak about healing?  Let me say, my experience right now?  It does not change the truth of what the Bible says.

Plenty of people have prayed for me, over me, yet this time a miracle did not take place.  Jesus is using doctors to heal me.  I can't say I am happy about that, but I am being obedient in using the treatments, doctors, and surgeries to heal.  It is a journey in humility.

Speaking of being humbled, we were forewarned by God about this journey at that same prophetic session. Lori, the woman at our session shared that she saw us crawling on our hands and knees.  We were going through a difficult season and being humbled in the process.  She went on to say that we were strong and independent people and that we were going to need to now rely on God.  Just like the verse I keep getting, God will fight my battles...just stay calm.  She also said that there would be grace in the journey and we would stand up again and there would be a new thing for us!  We have hung on to those words at the end......sometimes for me only by a thread, but we hang on to His promises.  We don't believe God gave me Stage 3b cancer, but we do believe He can and will use it for good.   And we believe every prayer that has been prayed for me and for Joel has been heard by God.  Look at how the mass is breaking up?!  The kidney surgeries are over.  Strength is returning.  Hear our prayers, O Lord.

Do all people get healed?  No, we know they do not.  Do all people receive a miraculous healing?  No they do not.  But the point for me is, I believe we can.  "By His stripes we are healed."  I believe what it says in the Lord's Prayer.  "The kingdom come, thy will be done on EARTH as it is in Heaven.  In Heaven we won't need healing, will we?!  I believe that there is sooooooooooo much more for us. Catherine Marshall wrote a book many years ago called, "Something More".  I read that book often and felt her same hunger for something more in my relationship with Jesus.  It is available. He desires it too.

I confess, at times I seek the healing more than I do the Healer.  I desire the miracle instead of desiring a more intimate relationship with Jesus.  It is what He wants you know.  For us to seek Him.  For us to want a close relationship with Him that has us talking with Him throughout our days and nights like a good friend.  Because He is one.  The One.

Seeking God and a closer relationship with Him is what it is really all about.  We don't understand the mystery of it all....God is God and we are not, but we know He wants to communicate with us all throughout our days and nights.  He sent His son,  He sent Holy Spirit.  As we surrender to Him, stand firm on His promises, and let ourselves be embraced in His loving arms, we believe all will be well.  We trust Him.  We let Him fight for us.  We rely on Him.

Even in this difficult season of crawling on our hands and knees,  or maybe because of it, we seek Him more than ever, we trust Him in the storm.  As He teaches us humility and trust we lean on Him.  And at times, we rock the boat.

Get Your Brave On

I was reading a short paragraph by author and speaker Lisa  Bevere and one sentence jumped out at me. "Get your brave on".  Yeah.  Sometimes we just have to intentionally pick up our brave and put it on.  Wearing it like a shield.......a cloak of protection.......or a pair of brave girl boots.....  Sometimes God says to a friend or to a daughter.........tell her not to give up.  A crossroad that begs an answer to the question, "Fight or give up"?   Sometimes a person needs to hear, "You got this!"  "Hang in there Mama".  Sometimes a person needs to tell themselves........We have this!  There is power in our own words.  So many also stand with us in our battles, don't they.  Friends and family, even strangers that encourage and pray.  Wow. So blessed.

So how do we get our brave on?  We remember we are not alone.  We remember God is fighting with us.  We remember what the promises of His Word tell us.  The truth found in the pages of our Bible.  We remember and we trust.  We trust that He is who He says He is.  We trust His promises.  We seek the prayers and encouragement of others.  Remember when Moses needed help to keep his arms up?    And we are especially kind to ourselves.  When we are battle weary we love on ourselves even more.  We ask for God to help us get our brave on.  When we hear from God we hold his words tightly.  We embrace His love and promises and we walk forward with the Lion of Judah.  In the mystery, in the struggle, in the battle, we lean into the Lion of Judah and we get our brave on!

A New Thing?

"Behold, I am doing a new thing.  

Now it shall spring forth, shall you not know it? 

 I will even make a road in the wilderness 

and rivers in the desert."

Isaiah 43:19 (NKJV)

This verse has gotten my attention the past week.  It has appeared on Facebook and in my email devotionals.  It is a verse that God highlighted for us at Bethel Church when we received the prophetic words over us.  Words that encouraged and words that warned us of a season on our hands and knees.  Yeah.

When I meditated on this verse I had an old vision come to mind.  Several months ago I experienced a visual encounter with God.  He woke me one morning telling me He was giving us a new car.  I remember arguing with God that we did not need a new car.  We love our Enclave and it is new to us.  He continued to insist He was giving us a new car.  Then when I prayed about it later, the visual encounter came to me.  Jesus stood beside an Enclave that looked just like ours.  He told me to get in, and then said, "Let Me drive."  He got in the front driver's seat and I got in the backseat behind him.  Joel was in the passengers seat upfront.  I said to Jesus......."Is this our Enclave or a new one?"  He told me it was a new car.  When we stopped and I got out I said to Him, "Well, thank you?"  And He laughed and said, "That is what I wanted to hear."

Studying this verse a few days ago, I saw the Enclave again and it all became clearer to me.  The verse speaks of God making a new road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.  Here was Jesus driving ~ taking us down a road......was this the new road in the wilderness?  Was the "new thing" He is doing the "new car"  He spoke about?  I believe so.  God often speaks in mysteries and this was an example of that........and the explanation that came months later.

It has been another challenging time for me.  A broke tooth is going to require an extraction.  The surgery to remove the stone in my left kidney is scheduled for next week.  I continue with eye shots that are helping, but not without pushback.  I am still on antibiotics for the UTIs.   And then there is the cancer treatments, which have my white blood cells at only 1100.  IF they drop lower I will have to go off the verzenio and possibly hold off on surgery for the last kidney stone and tooth extraction.  I am too vulnerable to infection.

SO can I take this visual encounter, can I grasp hold of this promise from God, to make a way in the wilderness, a road....and hang on tight for my future?  Can I "see the new thing"  Can I "perceive it?"  God is asking me too.  No matter what the future holds He is asking me to let Him drive........to see the new thing...........to believe His promises.

Spring Is Bursting Forth

It is the last day of winter, or so we keep hearing!  Tomorrow is the first day of Spring and hope rises just like our temperatures.  It will be in the 50's by the end of the week.  I look forward to opening our windows and sitting on our front porch again.  Winter has let go of it's grip and Spring is bursting forth.

I have thought back on the winter seasons of our lives.  Certainly the great losses we experienced for so many years while battling Lyme Disease.  A threat on Joel's life, resulting in a risk to our family that lasted over six years.  The death of our son Kevin at age 25 due to congestive heart failure, and the loss of another son to his destructive lifestyle and choices.  And of course the winter season we are stumbling through right now with yet another cancer diagnosis plus more in my body.  Winter seasons.  We all experience them to varying degrees.  Some may be a result of our own choices, but most are unexpected events that come our way in life.  That come with living in a broken world.  Still, these winter seasons are only part of our story.  God works all things together for good.....Joy comes in the morning!

The recent flooding in the midwest is really beyond our comprehension unless we find ourselves in the midst of it.  The governor of Iowa flew over the destruction in SW Iowa and said the farmland looks now like a vast ocean.  Record storm..........record flooding.  You can read story after story about the devastation, but you can also read story after story about the goodness of people.  Those who reached out to help others.  I love that.

When I think about Lent I cannot help but think about how God has rescued us from our own winter with Jesus.  The goodness of God in sacrificing His Son to save us.  I love that.  What kind of love is this?  So difficult to comprehend.   To understand.  And maybe we don't.  Maybe we don't use up our energy trying to understand or analyze the winter seasons of our lives, nor comprehend this unfathomable love given to us.  Maybe we just believe and rest in the knowledge that the goodness of God will prevail.  Winter will end.  Spring will burst forth!  We are seeing signs of it in nature here in our corner of the world.  And if we look hard enough with observing eyes, we will see the signs in our own lives, our own winter seasons.  Spring is bursting forth!

When Life Gives You Lemons

My sister Jan has a beautiful lemon tree in her back yard at their winter home in Mesa.  It produced so many lemons this year she put an add on their community email for people to come and take as many as they wanted.  Her hubby loves lemon pie, so he gets his fill as the tree flourishes.  She is making something good from all those lemons,

When life gives you lemons........make lemonade or maybe lemon pie.  Make something!  Don't let yourself get bogged down in the sourness of the season. Don't be chewing on those lemons.  On a side note, we had a good friend in New Mexico and she used to suck on lemons the way you would an orange.  It was actually eating away the enamel on her teeth! 

Life has been more than a little challenging for myself and so many others I know.  As I lay on the sofa it feels like lemons have piled up around me, stacked high.  Just what can I make with all these lemons?

I was sharing with my friend Katherine what has been going on in my body lately.  A lament of sorts as I grieved the life I lost for the one I have now.  So many issues, so many struggles.  She asked me  a very important question that gave me pause.........."How are you feeding your soul?"

Joel and I have both described this journey as one that seems to be stuck in time.  Just going in circles like the Israelites wandering in the wilderness.  There has to be purpose for this season.  These lemons thrown my way eat away on the soul just as the acidic fruit eats on tooth enamel.  Need to feed the soul.

How do we make something good from all the lemons?  Each one of us would have a different answer to this question.  Jesus tells us He will work all things together for good for those who love the Lord.  There is the Word on that.  Solid.  Trustworthy. 

So when life gives us lemons, let's squeeze every ounce of juice out of those sour little things the enemy sends our way, and lets make an effort to make some lemonade.  Or a great lemon pie!  It won't always be easy, but it is not impossible with God.  Feed your soul 

Those Moments in Time

There are moments in time which we hold precious.  They are often brief and require us to delve right in while quietly praying they won't end.  Lately one of those moments has come to my mind over and over.

It was a holiday gathering.  Most of our grands come with their parents for 2-3 days once a year, maybe twice.  During one of those times that 3 of our 5 families were still hanging around, our oldest told us that a couple of the kids had some questions about faith, the Bible, and God Himself.  We sat around the dining room table that evening and listened to their questions and their thoughts, responding as best we could.  The parents were within hearing distance and a couple of them joined in once in awhile.

There were some hard questions that we did not have the answer for.  Like, "If someone does not believe in Jesus before he dies, will they always go to hell......or will they have another chance"?  One of our granddaughter's had a seriously important and hard question that she was struggling with.......and the answer was not there in black and white.  Only mystery.......we believe God's word so we go back to His Words, His promises and we step into trust.  We just don't have all the answers do we?!

Our one child says they have a notebook they are putting all the unanswered questions in so when they get to Heaven they will be able to ask God for the answers!  There is the thought that in Heaven those unanswered questions won't matter anymore.

We have learned over the years that we can take all our questions to Jesus and He listens.  From scriptures we see His answers are often told in stories, rather that cut and dried.  In my own experience there are questions that immediately are answered and other that just don't get answered to my satisfaction.  And in those times I try to find peace with that whole rest and trust action that God seeks from us.

I hope and pray that our honesty with our grands was a blessing for them.  We know what we know and we express that to them...our beliefs after 70 plus years, but there are also those questions we do not have a firm answer for.  And that is where we seek God more and rely on His word.  And when we can't make sense out of some of those Bible passages, we rely on His love.

In a few congregations Joel has taken the sermon time for questions. Even as adults we have plenty of questions don't we.  Joel's responses are usually what "the Lutheran Church believes, what the Scriptures say, and also a few "Joelisms".

I hope we have more of those precious moments with all our grands.  They are growing up so quickly, and shaping their own minds, while, as is our prayer,  standing firmly on the foundation their parents have laid out before them.  We are so grateful for those precious moments in time.  So grateful..............

Nevertheless.......

Joel has already put over 100 miles on his recumbent bike.  He is riding 10 to 15 miles at a time, working his way out of the winter slack and lack, and getting his legs back into the groove of his favorite past time.  He loves biking in nature and with the arrival of Spring he is on his way!

It is great to have this long winter finally behind us.  I love having the doors open, listening to the sounds outside......birds singing.......kids playing.....adults talking.  No longer cooped up in our houses we greet our neighbors and catch up on porch sitting.  Yards are being raked and fertilized, hostas and flowers nurtured.  Baskets and pots of flowers are brightening up the neighborhood.  We have not yet purchased any plants, but I'm hoping to find a black-eyed Susan vine.  I love their happy faces!

When winter lingered this year it was hard to remember that Spring was coming.  Snow piled high......nevertheless, we knew it would eventually melt...it would warm up....Spring would arrive.  And it did.

This morning I listened to Joel Osteen preach on TBN.  He is a bit of a dessert preacher....certainly not one that gives me much meat and potatoes, but he does bring truth to what he speaks.  Today he was talking about having a "nevertheless" attitude.  The doctor's report is not good.........nevertheless God's Word says_______.   Struggling with my finances.......nevertheless God will provide.  Things will improve.    Relationships are strained......nevertheless God's love heals.  We persist because we stand in the "nevertheless" of knowing God and His promises.

This winter season was tough and long.  In nature and in life.  It was hard to not dwell on the snow and cold still gracing us in the middle of April.  It has also been hard to not dwell on the health issues that have persisted for me. 

So what to do?  I'm thinking we add "nevertheless" to our vocabulary and to our attitude.  Nevertheless the snow will melt and Spring will come!  Nevertheless, God is walks with us through circumstances.....We are able to rest in this knowledge and persist in our belief.  We embrace the nevertheless.

Nevertheless shifts the atmosphere.  Nevertheless shifts our belief.  Nevertheless puts our focus back on Papa God and His promises.  Nevertheless helps us to remember.......God is faithful.  God is with us.  His Word is truth.  No matter what the seasons bring, nevertheless there is God.  Only God.  So grateful.

If God Said It!

If God said it, then that settles it.  Reading these words in the book, "Stronger Than The Battle" by Havilah Cunnington, affirmed what God had been patiently reminding me yet again about His promises for healing.

Let me explain here.  Most of you have followed my health journey with breast cancer.  The surgery, radiation, and recovery from the latter took a long time.  Our move to Arizona was put on hold to be re-evaluated.  The cataract surgeries added to the mix.  The next year were two surgeries for malignant melanoma followed a few months later by a diagnosis of Lichen Sclerosis.  Honestly, it brought me to my knees.  Then in December my vision suddenly became distorted, and a quickly scheduled trip to a retina specialist had me going through a battery of tests to get a diagnosis of wet Maculer Degeneration.  I had my first eye shot on December 29th.  This last medical earthquake literally put me under the covers in bed, weeping.  Just being honest here.

In that moment in time I came to the end of my ability to keep fighting.   Exhausted and weary I fell asleep on December 26th asking God to somehow let me know that what we believed about healing was His truth.  Did you really say "by His stripes you are healed?"  Did you really promise to "give me back my health and heal my wounds?  Havilah explained my doubts with God very well in her book when she said,

"The enemy will always try to change 

God's periods into question marks"

Havilah Cunnington

I fell asleep that night and did not have my usual chaotic, intense dreams that have plagued me for years.  I had a dream that I was in a house in Redding CA.  Brian Johnson, musician and son to Bethel's father of the house, Pastor Bill Johnson, was laying on a sofa sleeping.  I went over and put a blanket on him just as a mom would.  Then Bill Johnson came up beside me and said, "Let's go walk together."

We then went outside and walked the city streets for a very long time, as he chatted to me and I mostly listened.  I woke up at 4 am from this vivid dream and knew that God was speaking to me.  Pastor Bill Johnson believes "by His stripes we are healed." I thanked him for answering my prayers so quickly, and for reminding me that what we believe about healing is the truth found in God's Word.  My experiences do not change the truth that God wants us well.  

A week later while I was reading Havilah's book I read, "If God said it, that settles it."  She went on to write about how exhausted we become when we fight our battles from a defensive position.  In a defensive mode our goal to is protect ourselves.  It is a place where we fight is response to fear.  Well, I certainly have responded in fear to what has been going on in my body and our world.  Reacting is not wrong, it is the way we were created, but if we continually respond and live on high alert, it is damaging to our bodies.  She explained that it is so much better to respond to our struggles from what she describes as a discovery mode.  A discovery mode means that we resist the enemy  but we do so from a place of knowing that if God said it, that settles it.  We have an assurance that we have all we need inside of us ~ that same power that raised Jesus from the dead who gives us the victory.  We have already won our battles because if God said it, that settles it.  We do not respond from a place of fear, because we know we are called to a place of victory.

Throughout all the medical garbage I have gone through, the 27 years of Lyme, the three diagnoses with cancer, the eyes, the skin.  Through it all I have never walked alone.  God has always been there for me.  I get that.  In the past nearly 6 years Joel and I have learned there is so much more that God wants to give us.  So much more of Him, of His purpose, of His healing.  My dream about Bill Johnson, who believes as we believe, was a gift from God to affirm that no matter my experiences, this is the journey we are on.  This is the truth He wants us to share.  Healing is from God, and it is available to all who believe and use the authority given to us by Holy Spirit who lives in us.  God's Word speaks of healing, Jesus healed ALL who came to Him, and He told us to go out and "Heal the sick, cast our demons, cleanse the lepers and raise the dead."  (Matt. 10)

It is coming up on the 6th anniversary of Joel's miraculous 4 am healing, so my writings will focus on that amazing time in our lives.  My words I am focusing on this year are "so grateful", so with that in mind I am grateful today for the healing that has taken place in my body and Joel's.   I am so grateful for the Word that teaches us about healing and salvation. I am so grateful for the close relationship Papa God wants with us.   I am so grateful for the dream He gave me.  I am so grateful for Havilah Cunnington's words written in her book that have affirmed for me............"If God said it, that settles it!"  No matter my experiences, no matter the battles I face, we all face, God's Word and His promises hold the answers for us.  If God said it?  That settles it!

A Heat Wave

We're having a heat wave......a tropical heat wave........ Today Joel and I walked outside in the fresh air.  It was a balmy 36 degrees, the sun was just starting to go down, and the wind was nonexistent.  It was wonderful!  After so many days of lows in double digits below zero and highs creeping up to a few degrees above, we are rejoicing!  My bones are so happy.......and getting out into the fresh air?  There is nothing like it!

January has us taking out the Scrabble game and this year we have Bible Scrabble, a Christmas gift from one of our families.  We have spent today putting away the tree and decorations, and Joel got the outdoor lights down.  The main living area always looks a bit bare when we say goodbye to Christmas.  Now we wait for Spring.

January always brings with it a question we revisit time and time again.....Why do we live where it is cold and snowy?  The days are short and the sunshine limited.  We both like dry heat, my body smiles when heated by the sun, and Joel is ready to let go of snow blowing and the like.  It is still on our bucket list to spend at least winters in a dryer climate, but we have not felt the go ahead from God.  He has what is best in mind for us and we are saying yes to that  ~ even if it means bitterly cold winters for now. 

Speaking of what is best, the other day I heard someone say, "If God tells you that you are moving forward, but doesn't move you into your purpose in a timely fashion, maybe He is using you to do what is best for others."  You mean it is not all about us??!?  Ha....

Yet, the last prophetic words spoken were about us, over us and for us.  They spoke of God having "a new thing" for us.  That it won't look like our "formidable past" but will be new.  That God already has it in place for us and to keep walking forward.  Don't stop. Yet here we are.  Feeling a big stuck and like we may be walking in circles.  Here's the thing about prophetic words......they are for our future.  So, we give thanks for what is coming while being so grateful for each day.

Like today.....the geese were flying, the squirrels were out, the sun was shining, and the weather was amazing.  We were able to get outside and walk in the beautiful association where we live.  So grateful.  So grateful for fresh air, sunshine, pathways to walk, and of course the tropical heat wave we are experiencing here in north Iowa.  

We're having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave.....

Warfare Worship

This morning as I quietly mediated an angel appeared in my mind.  He was big and powerful and barefoot!  He turned around and began walking with purpose down a hallway.  As he walked he pushed with his right hand on a door to the right flinging it open to reveal bright light that hurt the eyes.  He continued forward and pushed open another door revealing the same light, and then yet a third where he stopped and stood quietly.

As he opened these doors I walked behind him and at the first door I stood and lifted my hands and said one word......Hallelujah.  At the second door I again stopped and lifted my arms and said, "We praise you Jesus".  At the third door the light was so so brilliant and powerful I got down on my knees and gave thanks.  I heard the words, "Worthy is the Lamb! Worthy is the Lamb!"  The angel then disappeared.

Over the past few months the concept of praise being a mighty weapon of warfare has continued to "hound" me.  In devotionals, on Facebook, during Bethel teachings, and as of late, in Havilah Cunnington's new book "Stronger Than the Struggle" due for release on January 9th.  Havilah is a leader, teacher, and pastor at Bethel Church and School, and I am part of her large book launch team,  I am enjoying very much an e-copy of the book. One thing she talked about "warfare-worship" and it certainly resonated within me.  Today's meditation during my quiet time only affirms to me the need for praise and worship.

Here is an idea (not mine)!  Everything we do is a form of worship to our Lord if we release it all to him.  From the mundane to the miraculous we worship our creator with our words and actions.  OR...we do not.  There are only two choices.   Besides the mundane or the miraculous, there are times we need worship to be a form of warfare.

When we were at Bethel and received the prophetic words at our private personal session, one of the people asking God for words for us told us that when mountains come to us (and we all face them ) we will laugh with joy when we stand before them BECAUSE we know what is coming.  We know that God's promises to us are on the other side.  We laugh because the joy of the Lord is our strength.  I confess that this year has sometimes been difficult for us with a few health mountains, and, too, the struggle to know where we belong.  My first reaction is not always to laugh with joy.  It is not to praise.  My words and actions do not always proclaim how good my God is.  Guess that makes me pretty human.   

But if praise is a weapon of warfare....if warfare-worship holds the power it did for Jehoshaphat to win a battle against many forces and for Jacob to break down the walls of Jericho, we best take notice.  If God tells us to intentionally worship and praise, we best be obedient.  "Praise is the highway to the throne of God".

Worship positions us for intimacy with God.  Worship positions us to keep our focus on the One, while doing battle because the Lord does fight for us.  Sometimes we are told to stand firm, sword in hand, alert and courageous in the battle with the enemy.  Sometimes we are told to rest and trust Him to fight for us.  Sometimes we are told to praise him, doing warfare-worship by lifting our voices, our hearts in praise to the One.  For, as I was told this morning....worthy is the Lamb!  Worthy is the Lamb!!!

Fine Tuning Our Focus

For the last several months we have driven down a busy street in our "micropolitan" city, passing by a confederate flag flying high on a flag pole in the front yard of a small house.  It seems out of place up here in the upper Midwest.  We don't know who lives in the house, and are not curious to find out.  Sometimes we pray for whoever lives there....other times we pass by in silence.  Just kitty-corner across the street is a church.  An apostolic church where many of the faces inside on Sunday morning are not white.  These are black Christians who would deeply feel the historic significance of this banner waving their way.  Sobering.  Especially after the past couple of weeks.  Sobering.

This week a good friend of our oldest and her family grieves the loss of two fellow police officers in his department in Florida.  I watched a TV video yesterday of this man washing and sweeping the blood off the street where the police officers were ambushed.  Washing the blood of his good friend off the street.  A symbol of deep compassion, solidarity and respect.  A family of blue coming together to grieve the loss of two of their own who were called to serve and protect.  Our son in blue has experienced this kind of loss just last year in the department he works for.  It is all so sad.   Sobering.

Just a couple of days ago I was reading author and speaker Ann Voskamp's blog where she shared that she is in the midst of recovering from what was a minor surgery and quickly evolved into the beginning of heart failure. A shocking "suddenly" that turned their world upside down.  Sobering.

Ann's story brought me to that of my sister's.  A little over three weeks ago she had a heart attack and ended up having 6 bypasses.  She is a walking miracle.  We just went up to spend a day and night with her as the siblings take turns keeping her company this week. The doctor said she will experience 1% improvement a day ......6 months will bring full recovery.   She is doing so well, but the scars are vivid reminders of all she has gone through.  It is all sobering.

When life throws such circumstances our way it is so very hard not to focus on the hate....or the horror.....the shock...or the trauma.  So darn hard to walk through the valley of the shadow, but we never walk alone.  Never.  It is important to keep our focus on the truth the Word holds for us.  We don't deny what is going on, but we don't empower it either.  We need to fine tune our focus.  We choose to empower what we know about our Lord, what He promises. The sobering events may leave us wounded and in pain, but God is still with us.  God is still faithful in our broken world.  He weeps with us, He walks with us, He listens, He reminds us Who He is.  The Lord who provides........protects.........sees.........heals.............fights for us. Yeah, that is who God is.

"He gives us beauty for ashes

the oil of joy for mourning

the garment of praise 

for the spirit of heaviness."

Isaiah 61:3

A Lifetime of Saturdays

I have been re-reading a book by Susie Davis entitled, "Unafraid:  Trusting God In An Unsafe World" It is her own story of moving out of a life controlled for decades by fear and into a life of trusting God in all circumstances.  In one section of the book she shares an amazing analogy surrounding Easter weekend as Christians speak of it, and how we do life today.

On Good Friday we remember how Jesus suffered and died on the cross while His disciples and His family watched in horror.  On Saturday we remember how they mourned His loss and feared for their own lives........Saturday was a day of "what ifs" and discouragements....fears.  Silence from the tomb.  And then Sunday came~ Jesus rose from the dead and left the tomb!  Victory reigns!  We know this well and base our faith on the Resurrection.

Susie then talked about how she sees Friday as representing the really bad things that come into in our lives.  Things that bring physical, emotional or spiritual trauma and pain.  On those "Fridays" we focus on surviving.  Then Saturday comes and we find ourselves asking "What the heck just happened?" Fear knots our stomach and we worry....we  look for ways to cope, ways to keep it from happening again.  But ALL the worries and fears hold us in the limbo of Saturday, not understanding that Saturday is not a place of wholeness or wellness.  We get stuck in it, and Sunday never comes. Somewhere deep inside we long for the joy of Sunday where God makes all things new, we long for Sunday where resurrection power brings us hope and healing.  Yeah....But how do we get there from a place of fear?   Maybe we just intentionally step into it one day at a time.  During Susie Davis's journey to freedom she realized that she had been living a lifetime of Saturdays.   Fear was controlling her day to day living.  John Hayford once asked, "How would you treat a friend who lies to you as often as your fears do?"  Yeah..........fears can keep us trapped in a lifetime of Saturdays.


Even though I had read this book before, I found myself caught up in the stillness of knowing you have just read something profound, something that is going to reshape your life.  You have this choice, you can look back or look around and be lead to stay in the Saturdays or you can take a leap of faith into Sunday!  And this Friday ~ Saturday~ Sunday cycle?  It will happen often.  It is just part of the broken world we live in, but Sunday is our goal, it is where we step out in trust.  After what Jesus did for us on Good Friday, how can we not help but trust Him!

I confess I have gotten stuck in Saturdays,  the trauma of a "Friday" event bringing to the surface the questions of Saturday...."What the heck just happened?" Joel and I have said it more than once in the past two years, and yet often our search for answers actually holds us captive.  It is when we look to Jesus and remember that Sunday holds victory, that peace reigns.  When we tried to reason, answer or figure out the whys of Friday events, "Sunday" living is far away.

During Susie Davis's journey to freedom from a life of fear, she realized that she had been living a lifetime of Saturdays, while deep inside she hungered for Sundays with Jesus.  There is a great video on YouTube that speaks of Good Friday and Easter Sunday.  The man's words tell the story of Jesus crucifixion, the suffering He endured.  At the end of each sentence spoken of the darkness of that day, the preacher says...."but Sunday's a coming!"  I love that reminder that on the day the covenant split in half, we know that Sunday is coming!  The Resurrection!  The Victory!  It is for us, too.

If you find yourself in the midst of a "Friday" event or situation, there is hope.  The journey from Friday to Sunday is a process we go through.  The opportune words here are "go through".  We  remember how often fear "lies" to us, and we speak God's truth over our situation, reaching for Sunday's victories.  One day at a time.

What Are We Magnifying?

While living in The Philippines, one night I was sitting in the living room watching TV.  The doors and windows were open to let in the breeze since we did not have air conditioning in our off base house.  All of a sudden I heard scratching on the locked screen door.  I listened quietly and heard it again.  It sounded like someone was trying to break in (my imagination working overtime) so I quickly called to Joel.  He came and went over to the door.  He discovered there was something, not someone trying to get in.  A rice beetle!  Rice beetles are sometimes a food source in the P.I. and other Asian countries.  They like to eat rice, and people catch them and boil them, breaking open their insides to suck out the rice.  Those who work in the rice fields have scars from their nasty bites.  Somehow this beetle made its way up on our patio, drawn to the light inside I expect.  The noise seemed loud, probably magnified by my fear, so that I was sure it was a person trying to get inside.  It turned out to be a bug.  They are nasty looking, but if you avoid their pinchers you will not be harmed!

Today I heard Joel Osteen say, "Magnify the promises of God, not your problems!"  This brought me back to that night in the Philippines when I thought for sure someone was breaking in and it turned out to be a bug.  My fear magnified the situation.  I actually felt that recently with a Melanoma diagnosis.  I have quit telling people about it unless they ask because when many hear the word, Melanoma, they react.  Just today a pastor asked me what I had surgery for and when I told him he replied, "Ohhhhhh" with a big eyed look.  I felt like he was magnifying the "problem" so to speak.  I don't need anyone to do that for me, I am pretty darn good at doing it for myself!

So maybe this magnifying the promises is not such a bad idea.  Magnifying the problem is definitely not helpful, so I'm thinking that if we take God's promises and put them under a big ol' magnifying glass things will look and feel pretty darn good!  At the least, hopeful.

There are so many promises of God to magnify, we would never run out of making our God bigger than our problem!  One of my favorite is the verse sent my way over 5 years ago now...."I will give you back your health and heal your wounds, says the Lord."  Jeremiah 30:17)  Another good one is....."Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and He will make your paths straight.  Indeed, do not rely on your own wisdom, and stay away from evil, then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones." (Prov. 3)

I expect there are promises we can magnify for just about every situation we encounter! God is good that way.

Take A Breath and Stay Calm

#17

When God sends me a verse 3 or more times, I pay attention.  I have been consistently getting "The Lord will fight for you, just stay calm (or be still) from Exodus 14 for a month now.  The seventeenth one found above arrived Sunday night via Facebook and Start Your Day With Jesus.

When this popped up, I showed it to Joel right away, but instead of feeling at peace about it, we both felt a bit apprehensive.  You, see, # 16 had arrived last Wednesday night, right before an eye appointment scheduled for Thursday morning.  The results of that exam were not encouraging and affirmed my feelings I'd had that this verse was warning me of what was coming.  Yeah.....I know....not good spiritual thinking! Just being honest.

So Sunday night this arrived before my eyes just hours before I would be going in for a mammogram on my left breast to see if the "something new" they found last fall had changed.  We took a deep breath and asked Jesus once again to heal the "something" and that they would not find anything at all.

Monday morning the tech took several images of the left and I went to sit in the waiting room.  She came in 15 minutes later and said the radiologist wanted more images.  Ugh.  Been there before........ So after being pinched and twisted and flattened yet three more times, I ended up back in the waiting room. I told God I was getting really anxious and trying not to be.  I then picked up my phone and went on Facebook.  Immediately the picture below popped up.

I felt a sense of peace come over me.  Here was partly what God was trying to tell me with Exodus 14:14.  Even though He has given us the authority to speak healing....we need Jesus ~He is our Healer.  And the verse underneath?  This was the very first promise God sent my way 5 years ago when I began this healing journey from 27 years of sickness, and I still have it taped to my bathroom mirror. Sunday night I had questioned whether this verse was from God...and where was His "yes and amen" promise, and the next morning here it was in print, on social media.  Only God.  Just be calm.....descended upon me.

A couple minutes later an elderly woman came in and sat down in the room with me.  She asked me if I had had breast cancer.  I said yes and she said, "Well, let me tell you my story......." and proceeded to talk about all the horrors she went through and how it started in her right breast and went into the left.....and how many times she battled it and blah blah blah.  I looked at this woman nearing 80 and my thought was......The enemy is using her to frighten me and take away my peace.  I had no doubt. So I found myself tuning her out, quietly refusing to partner with her story.  I went back to focusing on what God had just brought to my attention.  When they came to get me for the ultrasound, I was very relieved to leave her verbal death march.  

The ultrasound tech was friendly and spent a great deal of time with her wand doing its job. We talked about her job, my history an our sore little toes!    As time went by I wondered what was going on as I knew it was taking longer than normal, but before I could ask she said, "Well, I am not seeing anything in the two areas that I am to look at".  After a few more pictures, she took them to the radiologist and in another 10 minutes she returned to tell me I could go.  The extensive testing had been because it had all disappeared!  It was gone.  Only God!  

While laying on the table I had heard God tell me to pray for this young tech.  I was reluctant, but knew I should step out and do so, so when the test was over I asked her if it would be okay if I prayed for her.  She said, "Yes, it would!"  SO I laid a hand on her and prayed several things that came to mind, ending with her hurting toe.  

What an amazing morning it was.  God was in the midst of it all, fighting for me, revealing to me His peace and presence, and giving me an opportunity to pray for one of His kids.  

I am still studying this verse, but have gathered the whole message of the chapter into the pursuit of all God wants me to learn from His message.  I believe God speaks to all of us in unique and special ways.  How does God speak to you?  How does He reveal His presence to you?  Because He is with us.  When a doctor's report is bad and when it is good.  When we sit in a waiting room looking at a tree filled with pink ribbons for cancer survivors, and when the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy through the words of a hurting woman.  He is with us, fighting for us.  We can lean back, and have Peace present in all our circumstances.  The Lion of Judah fights for us, so take a breath, and stay calm.  

A Good Age

As I sit tonight and ponder tomorrow's birthday, I find myself in a place of reflection.  I feel the need, once again, to put pen to paper.  Tomorrow I will turn 69........my last year in a decade we thought I would never see.  It was 10 years ago I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease after 23 years of battling a mysterious illness.  Our Lyme practitioners revealed my body was dying.....working at only 22 per cent when I first walked in the office.  They could help me live, but could not heal me. Only God could do that.  I remember I was so ill I laid on the floor of the van to get to the Dr.'s office.  Joel told me after my health returned, that he really did not think I would reach age 60.  But, God.  But God had other plans.

In the past decade I have battled cancer twice when healthy cells went rogue and developed into uterine cancer and then a few years later, breast cancer.  It is gone now.  Lyme is dead and gone also, through a healing released in my body by Jesus, our Healer.  I have a new and better life with all the freedoms I experience now.   I. am. still. here.

Sixty-nine is a good age.  An age I find myself grateful to be.  I. am. still. here.  I also find myself deeply desiring 20 more years of life on this earth.  I look forward to great-grandchildren while treasuring each morning I open my eyes.  I still can battle fear of sickness or death, but I counter it with praise for the day I have.  I can name too many friends who did not reach the age of 69, but I can name more who arrived.

Isn't life amazing?  Aren't our bodies amazing?  And our God?  More amazing still!  Tomorrow the sun comes up on a new year and I will rejoice.  Reaching 69 is a gift I will unwrap and enjoy.  I will walk into it with praise, grateful for every wrinkle, gray hair, cellulite bump, and more.  I. am. still. here.

Frozen Ground

It is raining here...beating down on winter ground, leaving a small pond in the neighbor's yard and a creek along the side of our house.  Frozen earth beneath keeps the water from above limited in its descent.  Living water unable to penetrate the cold frozen ground.

Yeah.  That maybe says it all.  The Living Water, our Jesus is so often limited by our beliefs, our unbeliefs, our frozen ground.  Limited because the choice is ours....the believing, the unbelieving.  He waits with love in His heart.

What seems like ages ago now, we headed to a one night conference in Minnesota to hear one of our favorite teachers speak about healing.  He asked a question that we are still pondering. "Who is Lord over your life?"  We would all probably answer "Jesus, of course!"  And yet.................I can almost guarantee that we all can uncover little lordships in our lives that interfere with Jesus as the Lord.  Savior?  Yes, but Lord over our fears, our desires, our soul?  Maybe it is related to money, control, security, sickness, children...........Living water finding resistant frozen soil.  It was a great teaching of which I cannot give justice in my written words, but let me suffice to say that we knew THIS is why Holy Spirit wanted us to go.  For the inner us........He likes to shape and change us on the inside, renewing, transforming for His purpose.

A few days after arriving home, I was hit with a virus from hell.  Cuz that is where they all come from.  Coughing, hacking, sneezing, fever, chills, fatigue, weakness, aching, blah blah blah.  Six days and 12 meals of chicken soup, nearly 2 kleenix boxes later, lots of sleep, a continual supply of essential oils and prayer and I am finally recovering.  I asked for prayers from The Knee Team a few days in and quickly developed a fever and new symptoms......failed prayer?  Nope.  This let me know that prayer was having an affect on the sickness....my body was fighting back....so maybe the virus....but I know prayer is a might weapon of warfare.....  When I was too sick to read, watch TV, talk, or do much of anything, this virus had my attention.  Here was a perfect example of something else being lord of my little life....and over my body.  I felt like crap and distractions were hard to find ~ I succumbed to discouragement.

Today looking behind me, I am able to see how easy it is for our circumstances to lord over us.  So. easy.  This one virus was a small example.  It had me. One little virus had me at it's beck and call, unable to fight.  I remembered the verse God has been sending and I asked God to fight for me, through The Knee Team....through His Son, and I spent my time working at remaining calm, resting.

The teacher we listened to that night had asked...."Are you willing to change lords?  Stop adapting to sickness, or fear, or whatever the enemy is using to lord over your life~~ and turn to Jesus.  We don't deny what screams loudly, we just tell the problem how big our God is.  Jesus loves being our Savior.....He also desires to be Lord over our lives.

What do we talk about more?  The disease.....the symptoms.....the circumstances in our world.......the latest drama unfolding on TV or social media..........OR do talk about the promises of Jesus.  The Word. Who reigns.

It is still raining........the water is rising....limited by the frozen ground.   Oh Lord, don't let me be frozen to the Truth of Your many promises....Your Love......Your Word.  Melt my heart with Your fire as You reveal these little lords in my life that interfere with you being Lord of All.  Remind me how Big you are and how small my problems are.  Let me whisper.........Jesus.

Angels In Red

I went for my physical and mammogram yesterday.  I am always hoping I won't here any bad news, but usually something crops up, and it did.  Minor things really, but frustrating and requiring something further.  Moving on from the doctor I headed over to the imaging center for a mammogram.  Yesterday Joel told me he had been praying about my mammogram and God had shown him a picture in his mind of the word "clear" over my right breast.  I paused and said, "I have two breasts you know..."  Two to pray for.  So when the tech told me I needed more pictures on my left breast a fear gripped my heart.  Was God telling us something?  I focused on one of God's promises to me from 4 years ago......

"I will give you back your health and heal your wounds"  

                  Jeremiah 30:17

Then the tech came back and said the Dr. wanted an ultrasound.....to make sure that what he sees is all there is...... and again as I waited and waited for a last minute ultrasound,  I prayed and spoke the verse God had been sending me all week...

"The Lord will fight for you...........just stay calm".

Exodus 14:14

Just stay calm.  He knows me well.  God knows I don't stay very calm with health issues.  I fought Lyme 27 years, cancer twice, and glaucoma for several years.  The Lyme was healed by prayer, the cancers by God using doctors and radiation.  The glaucoma is still awaiting it's healing and is managed with drops.  You would think I would be used to things not going smoothly, but I am not.  I still can become a slave to fear as I go through tests, procedures, etc.  I still have a love-hate relationship with doctors, hospitals, etc.

As I waited I talked to God about my fears, declaring I was over this medical crap!  Enough already....I asked for His help on this one.  I thanked Him for fighting for me.  He quietly and patiently listened, I'm sure.  I texted with Joel what was happening as he sat in the waiting room, and he sent me encouraging texts back.  Time went by.

The ultrasound went well, with a new tech chatting with me as she worked.  She shared she was going to a Bible study that night....I had said nothing about my faith.  I asked her what church she went to, and she said she was raised Lutheran but now was just a Jesus lover.  She had gone to a Holy Spirit conference at our son's church in the Twin Cities....we talked about that a bit and I shared that Joel was a pastor.  She went to take her results to the radiologist....once you have had breast cancer there is no waiting for following day results.  They are given to you before you leave the building.

She came back and said it still looks round, smooth, and has no markers for cancer.  Thank. you. Jesus.  She told me I would need to come back in 6 months for a recheck and asked if there was anything else she could do for me....I said, "Well, can you make it go away"  She said, "I can pray for you..."  I told her I would like that, and she did pray for me and for healing, and as she did tears fell on both our hands clasped together.  After she finished I told her that God had provided me with a gift today....her.  I briefly shared Joel's healing story.  She said to me, "It had been a long rough day" she said,  and she felt God blessed her with having me for her last patient."   We closed the place down, there was no one else left in the clinic as we hugged and Joel and I said good-bye.

Isn't God amazing?  He provides for us in the most amazing ways.  Certainly I desire to walk in divine health.  Certainly I want to hear only good news when I go to the doctor.  It is on my "bucket list"!!  But we are never alone on our journeys through life and God sends His angels to help us along the way.  Some of them wearing red hospital uniforms!