Yesterday we fasted in preparation for a session of prayer last night with a couple from AZ who have a powerful ministry. They are good friends with our sweet friends Dw and Linny, who suggested we call them. We felt the need for some prayer....and insights so we set a time to talk last night. During this time of fasting we took the time to listen to our recorded prophetic session from when we were at Bethel Church in CA in the fall of 2017. Please note that when we receive words we pray over them, looking for God to come through in the words that come from others. Testing the truth of it in scripture and discernment. We strongly believe the words spoken during that session were from God and we hold them close whether we understand it all or not.
We received several things we are hanging on to, but one that stood out for me today was when the man, who was also named Joel, asked us if we ever rock the boat......He said it was a bit strange, but he saw a vision of us rocking a boat. We did tell him in our world, that we probably do rock boats with what we believe and practice, things such as God wants us ALL well, Jesus died for sins AND sicknesses. Holy Spirit wants to shake up your world with visions, encounters, and His Presence "manifested" in many ways. Speaking in tongues is a gift available to all, etc. etc. It makes some people uncomfortable. Been there myself. In the words this other Joel said, he told us God wants us to keep rocking the boat. He kept saying it over and over again "keep rocking the boat". He told us we are very aware that we are doing what God wants us to do......and then said, "God says when you stop rocking the boat He will be bringing you home. To heaven. In other words, we replied.........."Keep rocking the boat!"
The past few months, this challenging journey we are on, has kept our focus narrow and has not left much room for rocking boats and truthfully at times I have doubted and struggled with His promises to me for healing. Were God's promises lies? Even saying that makes me uncomfortable. God never lies. And His promises are "yes and Amen". Over time I have told Joel more than once that I questioned how I could speak about healing being for now and for all when I am battling cancer for the 4th time and the future looks scary? I was healed of Lyme, of chemical sensitivities, of cancer, of thyroid disease ( no longer on meds after 27 yrs). Healed of a cyst on my leg....it just left! Healed of living life from my sofa....... And yet.......here I am in the midst of the biggest battle of my life so far. Can I still speak about healing? Let me say, my experience right now? It does not change the truth of what the Bible says.
Plenty of people have prayed for me, over me, yet this time a miracle did not take place. Jesus is using doctors to heal me. I can't say I am happy about that, but I am being obedient in using the treatments, doctors, and surgeries to heal. It is a journey in humility.
Speaking of being humbled, we were forewarned by God about this journey at that same prophetic session. Lori, the woman at our session shared that she saw us crawling on our hands and knees. We were going through a difficult season and being humbled in the process. She went on to say that we were strong and independent people and that we were going to need to now rely on God. Just like the verse I keep getting, God will fight my battles...just stay calm. She also said that there would be grace in the journey and we would stand up again and there would be a new thing for us! We have hung on to those words at the end......sometimes for me only by a thread, but we hang on to His promises. We don't believe God gave me Stage 3b cancer, but we do believe He can and will use it for good. And we believe every prayer that has been prayed for me and for Joel has been heard by God. Look at how the mass is breaking up?! The kidney surgeries are over. Strength is returning. Hear our prayers, O Lord.
Do all people get healed? No, we know they do not. Do all people receive a miraculous healing? No they do not. But the point for me is, I believe we can. "By His stripes we are healed." I believe what it says in the Lord's Prayer. "The kingdom come, thy will be done on EARTH as it is in Heaven. In Heaven we won't need healing, will we?! I believe that there is sooooooooooo much more for us. Catherine Marshall wrote a book many years ago called, "Something More". I read that book often and felt her same hunger for something more in my relationship with Jesus. It is available. He desires it too.
I confess, at times I seek the healing more than I do the Healer. I desire the miracle instead of desiring a more intimate relationship with Jesus. It is what He wants you know. For us to seek Him. For us to want a close relationship with Him that has us talking with Him throughout our days and nights like a good friend. Because He is one. The One.
Seeking God and a closer relationship with Him is what it is really all about. We don't understand the mystery of it all....God is God and we are not, but we know He wants to communicate with us all throughout our days and nights. He sent His son, He sent Holy Spirit. As we surrender to Him, stand firm on His promises, and let ourselves be embraced in His loving arms, we believe all will be well. We trust Him. We let Him fight for us. We rely on Him.
Even in this difficult season of crawling on our hands and knees, or maybe because of it, we seek Him more than ever, we trust Him in the storm. As He teaches us humility and trust we lean on Him. And at times, we rock the boat.
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