If God Said It!

If God said it, then that settles it.  Reading these words in the book, "Stronger Than The Battle" by Havilah Cunnington, affirmed what God had been patiently reminding me yet again about His promises for healing.

Let me explain here.  Most of you have followed my health journey with breast cancer.  The surgery, radiation, and recovery from the latter took a long time.  Our move to Arizona was put on hold to be re-evaluated.  The cataract surgeries added to the mix.  The next year were two surgeries for malignant melanoma followed a few months later by a diagnosis of Lichen Sclerosis.  Honestly, it brought me to my knees.  Then in December my vision suddenly became distorted, and a quickly scheduled trip to a retina specialist had me going through a battery of tests to get a diagnosis of wet Maculer Degeneration.  I had my first eye shot on December 29th.  This last medical earthquake literally put me under the covers in bed, weeping.  Just being honest here.

In that moment in time I came to the end of my ability to keep fighting.   Exhausted and weary I fell asleep on December 26th asking God to somehow let me know that what we believed about healing was His truth.  Did you really say "by His stripes you are healed?"  Did you really promise to "give me back my health and heal my wounds?  Havilah explained my doubts with God very well in her book when she said,

"The enemy will always try to change 

God's periods into question marks"

Havilah Cunnington

I fell asleep that night and did not have my usual chaotic, intense dreams that have plagued me for years.  I had a dream that I was in a house in Redding CA.  Brian Johnson, musician and son to Bethel's father of the house, Pastor Bill Johnson, was laying on a sofa sleeping.  I went over and put a blanket on him just as a mom would.  Then Bill Johnson came up beside me and said, "Let's go walk together."

We then went outside and walked the city streets for a very long time, as he chatted to me and I mostly listened.  I woke up at 4 am from this vivid dream and knew that God was speaking to me.  Pastor Bill Johnson believes "by His stripes we are healed." I thanked him for answering my prayers so quickly, and for reminding me that what we believe about healing is the truth found in God's Word.  My experiences do not change the truth that God wants us well.  

A week later while I was reading Havilah's book I read, "If God said it, that settles it."  She went on to write about how exhausted we become when we fight our battles from a defensive position.  In a defensive mode our goal to is protect ourselves.  It is a place where we fight is response to fear.  Well, I certainly have responded in fear to what has been going on in my body and our world.  Reacting is not wrong, it is the way we were created, but if we continually respond and live on high alert, it is damaging to our bodies.  She explained that it is so much better to respond to our struggles from what she describes as a discovery mode.  A discovery mode means that we resist the enemy  but we do so from a place of knowing that if God said it, that settles it.  We have an assurance that we have all we need inside of us ~ that same power that raised Jesus from the dead who gives us the victory.  We have already won our battles because if God said it, that settles it.  We do not respond from a place of fear, because we know we are called to a place of victory.

Throughout all the medical garbage I have gone through, the 27 years of Lyme, the three diagnoses with cancer, the eyes, the skin.  Through it all I have never walked alone.  God has always been there for me.  I get that.  In the past nearly 6 years Joel and I have learned there is so much more that God wants to give us.  So much more of Him, of His purpose, of His healing.  My dream about Bill Johnson, who believes as we believe, was a gift from God to affirm that no matter my experiences, this is the journey we are on.  This is the truth He wants us to share.  Healing is from God, and it is available to all who believe and use the authority given to us by Holy Spirit who lives in us.  God's Word speaks of healing, Jesus healed ALL who came to Him, and He told us to go out and "Heal the sick, cast our demons, cleanse the lepers and raise the dead."  (Matt. 10)

It is coming up on the 6th anniversary of Joel's miraculous 4 am healing, so my writings will focus on that amazing time in our lives.  My words I am focusing on this year are "so grateful", so with that in mind I am grateful today for the healing that has taken place in my body and Joel's.   I am so grateful for the Word that teaches us about healing and salvation. I am so grateful for the close relationship Papa God wants with us.   I am so grateful for the dream He gave me.  I am so grateful for Havilah Cunnington's words written in her book that have affirmed for me............"If God said it, that settles it!"  No matter my experiences, no matter the battles I face, we all face, God's Word and His promises hold the answers for us.  If God said it?  That settles it!

Ordinary or Extraordinary?

As I read Ann Voskamp's blog post describing her journey with unexpected heart failure, two words resonated with me....."ordinary glory". Ordinary glory.....finding the glory of our Papa God in the ordinary ~ the laughter of children, the rising or setting of the sun, the beating of our own hearts.  As I shared with Joel her written words he responded with....."There really is no ordinary glory". This does ring true.  The glory of the Lord comes into our ordinary and makes it all extraordinary.

When we walk through the valley and find ourselves looking back on that season, it is important to use our spiritual eyes to see how God released His love and wove His goodness, His glory into each step along the way. He makes the ordinary extraordinary.

And what is the ordinary?  Well, I mentioned a few above.....the laughter of children, the beating of our own hearts.........the rising or setting sun.  I guess it is those things we take for granted in life, like our next breath.......or the food set before us.  Yeah.

When we traveled West through all the wide open spaces in the winter of 2015, I noticed all the different sunsets...and began to photograph them as I realized each one held it's own beauty.  In our neighborhood it is hard to find the sunset or sunrise with all the trees and houses that block the view. Not so on our favorite farm where I can wake early and view the sunrise from the window that brings it right to me on the upstairs landing.  It never fails to bring gratitude to my heart.  So, too, the sunset over our favorite Iowa lake.

Our favorite Iowa lake at sunset

The sunset we saw in Kansas was different than those we experienced in Arizona.  I hope I never tire of pausing to experience God's ending to another day created for our enjoyment.  We were not able to see the eclipse here with our overcast skies, but even watching it on our TV, we were completely in awe of this unusual occurrence.  Our Creator's intricate detail and power displayed!  Those events do amaze us and should!   But I throw out there the idea that the ordinary can amaze us too.

Bill Johnson in his book, The Supernatural Power of the Transformed Mind, said we need to live in the "everyday miraculous". and it should just be the norm.  Miracles seen as normal.....now there's an idea worth contemplating.

Ann Voskamp has encouraged millions of people to write down every single thing they are thankful for in each day......it changed her life, and when she shared her story with the rest of the world it has changed others too.  Being grateful for it all....because we are here to experience it.  Because we are here to receive it from our Papa God and share it with others.  Because when we do give thanks for the ordinary it does become something more.

So, maybe there is no ordinary when we let God into our lives.  Maybe it is all extraordinary.......and maybe when the Lord's Prayer reads.....thy Kingdom come on EARTH as it is in Heaven.....that here on earth does include the everyday miraculous.  And the extraordinary includes not only a rare eclipse, but the every day sunrise and sunset.   Thank you Papa for making the ordinary extraordinary!

Rejoicing Over The Ashes Miracle

Sunday afternoon we went to the lake to sit by the water, stroll the walkway,  and just relax.  At five we headed over to the Central Gardens to watch an outdoor concert.  Such a fun afternoon.  We went to bed that night relaxed and thinking "all is well" with no clue there was a "suddenly" coming.

At 7 am my phone rang, waking me to the news that my sister Janelle had had a heart attack, was at the hospital and having tests.  Soon we were told she would need emergency open heart surgery. After many hours of surgery she was in ICU after having 6 bypasses.  At age 62.  Yesterday we drove up to see her for a short visit.  She is surrounded by her four girls, and good health care. It is still hard to digest, the suddenly of open heart surgery when the day before she had been out walking and running around her favorite lake.

Suddenly.  Too often we have to deal with the suddenlys of life.  All is good until it is not.  Then what.  Well, for my family today's suddenly put everyone "on their knees" in prayer.  We are a praying family and for that I am so thankful.  We reach out to pray for each other and pick up our phones to text prayer groups like The Knee Team to ask for prayers when needed. There is both power and peace found in prayer.  Jesus our Healer!

All day long Monday I kept hearing a hymn in my head, and found myself humming and singing...."Great is they faithfulness....." "great is thy faithfulness.......morning by morning new mercies I see...."  It reminded me of the verses that God has been highlighting for me out of Isaiah 61, joy for mourning, beauty for ashes and a garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness.  The beauty for ashes came first from Joel, then again as I was meditating......later it was on a TV teaching and then a song.  Beauty for ashes.  New mercy!

While I was meditating Sunday morning God showed me sweeping with a broom a bunch of dirt and grim off the floor.  I questioned what it was, and heard...."symptoms".  I picked them up in a dustpan and was going to put them in the garbage and I heard, "put them on the fire".  I looked to my right and saw a fire smoldering, so I dumped them there and then heard....."beauty for ashes".  Beauty for ashes.

As promised we do receive from God, beauty for ashes and I am declaring that for my sister as she goes through months of recovery and changes after this "suddenly" in her life.  Long story, short, it is a miracle that she is still here and we are on our knees with humble thanksgiving. Janelle is a strong woman and will walk through this journey carried by love, prayer, and her own determination.  But I am also praying and giving thanks for all the beauty that will come from this.  Overwhelmed with gratitude that God is giving her beauty for ashes.

And Then God.......Only God!

On the side of our house stands a dying tree.  When we first moved here this crab apple tree would be full of pink blooms each Spring.  It was so pretty.  And then sometime over the years as Joel and I took up residence in our chairs fighting Lyme trying to find some sense of normalcy in each day, the tree became sick and old.  It bloomed less and less and last year took a "last stand" as we spoke to the tree and prayed over it.  (It is living after all, and we do have dominion over nature.) Well, our praying did not change the outcome.  It is barely standing and will need to come down this Spring.

It grieves us.  As I stood and stared at the beached wood, sparse branches with no sign of green or pink anywhere, I felt sadness well up inside.  And gratitude.  So much gratitude.  Gratitude that we are not like this dying tree.  When I saw the Lyme specialist in 2007 she told me my body was functioning at around 20%.  I was slowly dying.  When Joel was diagnosed he was functioning at 45% and had to go on disability for 3 years.  He managed 15 hours a week of work at a church where people treated him with such grace.  Bless you St. Peter's Lutheran.  Bless you.

During that season of our lives, Joel slept 9 hours a night and napped 4 hours a day to function.  I spent a great deal of my days laying on the sofa or in bed.  Our sweet dog Levi was our only company most of the time.  Just fixing meals was an effort.  It. was. scary.

And then..........thanks to our friend Katherine's suggestion and a teaching by Andrew Wommack, our world changed overnight.  Joel was miraculously healed and I began the process of healing.  I am not where I want to be, but I am not where I was.  I am healed and have been set free, and I expect all symptoms to leave as God promises in His Word.

 Unlike our apple tree, life returned to us and we were able to flourish.  We never want to forget the precious restored gift of life that we were given.  We have plans to wear out, not rust out, serving God as He guides us, sharing who He is!

Our poor apple tree has succumbed to age and disease, but I will remember its beauty in Springtime, the way God created it.  And I will remember that we once looked like this dying tree, and then God............only God.

You Can Have It All

You Can Have It All

Recently I wrote about Joel and I seeking roots during this season of our lives.  We have been living in this small city 20 years next month, so of course we have some roots here already just through experiencing 80 changes of seasons, the years of ministry, and of course the great people we have met and grown to care about.  And then there is the familiar.  There is something to be said for the familiar.

Roots are found in our families, in community, in our homes, careers/callings, in our houses of worship, those places where we feel accepted and embraced for who we are.  Even as we change. Especially as we change. There is something to be said for change, too.

Today it has re-surfaced...the seeking roots spiritually, in our faith journey.  It is another kind of season, where we find ourselves worshiping in two worlds....that of our foundational Lutheran denomination, and that "something more" which God has beckoned us into....leading us to a non-denominational church for such a time as this.

There is no doubt in our minds that God has called us into a place of the charismatic, the prophetic, and the supernatural healing.  Absolutely no doubt. Somewhere in this calling, this beckoning into more, is the place where God is leading us to put down roots.  We are not naive enough to believe we will find the perfect place to live or worship, but we know we will be led to the best for us according to God's plan.

I won't deny that there is a noticeable tension here, in this pause in our journey with God between the old and the new.  And I find I am saddened by those from our "old" world who choose to judge us by the path we have taken. On the other hand, over the past four years in our "new" world we have had to defend our mainstream denomination more times than I care to count.  We are still learning to define who we are now, so how can anyone else be allowed to define who we are or are not?  Only God.

Even with the struggle to re-define ourselves, we would never go back.  God shook our world to it's core four years ago with Joel's overnight healing and Holy Spirit shake-up, and there is no return to what was.  There is labor before birthing a baby and it feels like there is a labor we are experiencing now before birthing more of the new in our spiritual lives.  We are in this amazing, terrifying, exciting, and challenging process as we seek all God has for us.  We have told God He can have it all....every part of our world..as we ask for "more" at any cost.  We may be experiencing some of that "at any cost" tension now.  

Bonnie Gray said today in her blog post "There is a place for us:  Jesus Himself."  It is a comfort to be reminded of where our heart calls home.  In Heavenly places, this is where we have eternal roots.  It is not to stop us from seeking a place to plant our feet deep into the damp soil of the ground, a community, a church.  We are created for relationship to the land, with ourselves and people, and with our Papa God.  Above all we seek the latter.  At any cost.

Mountain Moving Miracles

I read Linny's blog, "A Place of Simplicity" and she speaks often of God as being a
"miracle-working, mountain-moving, awe-inspiring gasp-giving God!" While reading her blog I have been reminded over and over again of what God is capable of doing, and wants to do in the lives of His children. This mantra has touched me deeply and found a home within my soul.
I have started looking for mountain-moving miracles in our own lives, and I have not been disappointed!

My husband and I are "Partners in Lyme". We are fighting a difficult battle, but we know God is walking with us. Joel has had to apply for disability as he is presently unable to work. For two months our congregation paid what is called a medical leave salary for his position as Senior Pastor. He filled out paperwork a month ago and sent it off to the people who needed to also fill it out and send it off to our ELCA so that they could have their own insurance company look it over and decide if he was eligible or not. Unfortunately, our doctor was unable to fill it out and send it off when she received it, as it was put in his medical file when it arrived. Three weeks later we called the ELCA and were told they were waiting on the paperwork from our doctor, so after a phone call, things were set into motion and nearly a month later than expected, the necessary papers were sent off to the insurance company. We were told it could take another month to be approved. Joel had understood that he would continue to receive money from his employer for accumulated sick days and vacation days, but yesterday Joel was told that due to his application for disability, his position had been terminated and he no longer was employed by our congregation! What to do? We needed money for the mortgage, bills, and food. Our out of pocket medical costs for treating Lyme are unbelievable and we don't want to give up treatment. We know we are two of the "lucky" ones because we have options....but I must be honest and say we were pretty stressed out by this turn of events. We did not have to be.

It seems God had a mountain-moving miracle planned for us. Early this morning we received a phone call from the insurance company saying they had just received the paperwork and they were giving us a verbal approval for disability! Wow! No long period of waiting, no wondering if he would be approved, no worry, no scrambling to find money for our daily needs. God is a miracle-moving God and we experienced this today.

Another miracle is in the making in our lives too. A crisis that I choose not to speak about, has been causing our family a lot of stress and worry. Prayers have been raised for God to step in and perform a miracle in the lives of two little ones we love and care about. Today we saw a glimpse of that miracle God is working out. It brings tears to my eyes and joy to my heart to feel His love and see the "mountain" beginning to move. We are praising God for the miracle we know is coming!

I am forever grateful for the mountain-moving, miracle-making, awe-inspiring, gasp-giving God that Linny reminded me of. In my battle with chronic illness, I had forgotten the great power of our loving God. Do you have awe-inspiring stories of our mountain-moving God? I know you do! How blessed we all are and may we never forget the miracles God is waiting to perform in our lives!

A Miracle

Jeremiah 32:17 “Ah, Lord God! Behold, you have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm! Nothing is too difficult for you.”

Our friends, Marilyn and Leon, dealt with a life-threatening disease for over two years of Leon’s life. He was diagnosed with incurable asbestos type cancer, which created a tumor in his lung that grew so large that it was bending his esophagus to the side and he was having trouble swallowing his food. He would often need to go into the hospital to have fluid removed from his lungs so he could breath easier. He was told by his doctors that there was nothing more they could do for him. He went ahead and planned his funeral, asking Joel to preach at his “celebration of life”. Then they decided to really enjoy the time he had left and spent each day making it special and filled with family, fellowship, and travel. In mid December of 2003 his son-in-law came home on leave from Iraq and the entire family celebrated their “last Christmas” together. Leon continued to get worse and we fully expected to get a phone call from Marilyn announcing his death before the end of January 2004.

Then things begin to change. Leon began to gain some strength back and his breathing became easier. We wondered if this was the calm before the storm so-to-speak, as many who are dying begin feel to stronger a few days before they actually die. It is like the body rallies at the end. As time went by, though, Leon became stronger and stronger and continued to feel better. He went to see his doctor, X-rays were taken, and the results were unbelievable. The doctors could find no sign of the tumor in Leon’s lung. It was completely gone. Everyone was stunned, and his family doctor told him there was no medical explanation. It had to be a miracle. A couple of days later Leon had a seizure from the pain medication he was taking and ended up in the hospital where doctors there repeated the X-rays, once again confirming that he no longer had a tumor in his lung. He was sent back home. A week later he went to see his oncologist for his check-up and after looking at all the reports, the cancer doctor said, “The other doctors must have made a mistake. You never could have had asbestos cancer in the first place. It would never disappear.” Marilyn then spoke up and challenged him, “You mean our local doctors, the X-rays, and the doctors at Mayo Clinic were all wrong and misdiagnosed Leon? All his suffering and pain was not real?” The doctor walked out of the room, but in a short time he returned, walked over to Leon and shook his hand. He said, “I do not use these words lightly, but we have no explanation for your recovery. It is a miracle.”

Leon is back to his old self now and lives a normal life. There is no sign of cancer anywhere in his body. He continues to enjoy life to the fullest, never taking for granted the gift of healing God gave to him.

I have shared this story with several people, and each person has had a different response. Although most are amazed, some are skeptical, and wanting a reasonable explanation for the disappearance of the tumor. One person asked me if he was on certain medications that could have brought about the healing, while another person asked me if the doctors could have been wrong…did they each take their own X-rays or use the same ones. And another wondered why Leon would be healed and not others who were faithfully prayed for as well. There is no medical explanation for Leon’s recovery, and we do not have the answers behind the miraculous healing by God either. Questions do go unanswered.

What we know for sure is that the Lord healed our friend of a fatal disease. The how and the why of it are not as important as our response – to glorify and praise God for this miracle and share the witness of this healing with others. The focus is not to be on Leon or his doctors, but on our Lord. It’s a miracle to behold.

To God be the glory!!!