Saturday, December 29, 2018

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday morning here from north Iowa where the weather has been all over the board.  It was 42 and raining on Thursday, snowing and cold on Friday.  We have little snow, though,  compared to those north of us in Minnesota.

Speaking of all over the board, the past two weeks have been more challenging than anything I have experienced in many years....if ever.  The good news is that my hemoglobin is going up, the fever is long gone, and and labs from the cancer center are holding steady.  The bad news is I continue to be nauseated, nothing tastes good except for smoothies and roasted and carmelized sweet potatoes.  Thank God for that.  I have lost 11 lbs, but seem to be stable now in the weight category.  I have spent most of my time napping, resting, or sleeping.  We think that my recovery from the surgery from hell is slow because I am also on treatments for breast cancer and they have their own list of challenges.


Joel has been a saint with all the cooking, caring, and encouragement he has sent my way.  I am richly blessed to have him in my life.  So blessed.

And so blessed to have so many people praying for us as we walk this journey.  I have not let myself think much about what I went through and what it all means.  I am not ready to face it all yet.  I am just grateful we are seeing progress.  Slow as it is, we are seeing progress in my recovery.  Thank you for praying and for encouraging us.

Monday, December 24, 2018

Merry Christmas!


Joel and I want to send Christmas blessings to you and your families as we celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ!  Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 17, 2018

A Difficult Journey

Last Wednesday I went in for surgery to take out kidney stones that were too large to be removed any other way. It did not go well and the surgery failed. The first procedure was to take 15 minutes to an hour and took two and a half hours. The surgery itself failed because the kidney became so inflamed and what needed to be done could not be done. I lost a lot of blood, I could not even keep down water and spent two days vomiting. . I became dehydrated iand my veins kept collapsing, and I could not eat or drink.

It is been a difficult few days. We are giving thanks that I am now home as of late Friday night, and we are seeing progress.  I am eating and drinking, not throwing up, and I'm able to work on gaining strength. I have been grateful for everyone's prayers, knowing they sustained me through this difficult Journey. I have much to share with how God showed up in other people and even how we were able to be a comfort to some who were suffering themselves. For now I rest and I ask for your continued prayers. It's a season to remember and give thanks to our Lord for his goodness, in sending his son. Where would we be without Jesus!

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

1 1 3

I was laying in bed this morning "worry meditating" over all that would be going on in the next 48 hours.  For some reason I tend to believe the lie that I can control what will happen and how it will happen with my worrying.  I don't like to not have everything in place.  I don't like surprises, but the journey the past two months has been filled with surprises of the not so good kind.  While going over and over things in my mind, I saw the numbers 1 1 3.  They stood out clearly.  My thought was, that is a Bible chapter, so it must be a Psalm because you can't find 113 in any other book of the Bible that I was aware of.

Later when I was worry meditating once again, I remembered the number and looked it up.  Psalm 113 is a psalm of praise to our Lord.  Praise Him and praise Him again.

"Hallelujah!  Praise the Lord!
Go ahead, praise the Lord.
All you loving servants of God!  'Keep it up!  Praise Him some more!
For the glorious name of the Lord is
Blessed forever and ever.
from sunrise brilliance to sunset beauty
Lift up his praise from dawn to dusk!"

Psalm 113: 1-3  Passion Translation

Sunday night we went to a city-wide worship at the large Lutheran Church here in town where people from several denominations gathered to sing praise and Christmas songs together.  It was wonderful and while there a pastor from a church we once attended came and prayed for me a powerful Holy Spirit led prayer.  It was just what I needed.  Thank you Jesus. 

Two hours later while at home my eyes started acting funky.  I began seeing zig-zag colored lights shimmering and moving and they took up the right side of my vision.  Then faces on the TV became distorted so I could only see fractured faces.  It was scary.  This lasted about 20 minutes and then disappeared.  Monday we headed to the eye clinic for a thorough exam.......was it the retinas?  Was it a blood clot?  Was it from the antibiotic I am on, the eye injections, or the cancer drugs?  We don't know the answers concerning the meds, but they were able to rule out the retinas or blood clots, so are calling it an "ocular migraine" without a pain.  I did have a slight headache afterwards.  One more surprise that I did not need at this time of so many things on my plate. Seriously?  Needless to say this event worked to take away the beauty of the earlier event.

Today God brought my focus back on worship and praise.  Praising Him in the midst of it all.  Praising Him for being in control when I am not.  Praising this God of ours who is a miracle making mountain moving God who walks with us every step of the way through the valleys.  Through the lows and the highs.

It is not easy, this sacrifice of praise.  It may not change my circumstances, and it maybe won't change yours, but it does shift our focus off of it all and on to the Lord our God and in praising God something does shift.  Inside of us.  God's purpose for praise is not just for His glory....to pat Him on the back.  His purpose is for us to see His glory and the power of His love for us, His kids.  Praise is a weapon of warfare in a world where Satan works hard to destroy our relationships with our Lord. Praise shifts the atmosphere around us and in us, loosing fear and worry tentacles and kicking them out and filling us with God's peace no matter what we are walking through.  Again, I will say it is not easy, but it is possible.

So today as I prep for surgery, and tomorrow as I go through the tube insertion and then surgery, and as I recover I will be praising my God.  For His grace provides.  His love covers.  His hands heal.  I pray that this day, this week you find yourself praising God for His goodness in the midst of life and whatever circumstances come your way.   It is how we connect with God.  It is how we shift the atmosphere....... It is how we fight our battles.............


Saturday, December 8, 2018

Saturday's Scribbles


Good Saturday morning to you from cold and snowy Iowa.  Our temperatures are consistently below average and I'm thinking it is going to be a loooooong winter in our corner of the world.  So grateful for our warm house, gas fireplace, and wool comforter at night.

It has been a busy week with an eye shot on Tuesday, an appointment with the urologist on Thursday, and a pre-op physical Friday morning. I went right from the physical to the cancer center where I had  lab work, an appointment with the oncologist, and two more injections. The doctor noticed more positive changes in the breast!  The treatments are working.  I will enjoy having the weekend off before surgery prep on Tuesday and surgery on Wed. to remove 3 large stone in my rt kidney.  That will require an overnight stay as they go in through my back, placing a tube in my kidney.  Then the doctor goes in through the tube to take out the stones.  Prayers appreciated.

We have been enjoying some Christmas music and a few Christmas TV shows.  It always takes me back to some of our best memories of Christmases in the past.  With the weather, decorations, cards arriving in the mail, and the music and TV shows, "It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas........."

The first year we moved to west central Minnesota, my extended family came for Christmas.  We moved in November 1989.  It was cold and snowy, but everyone came north to join us for the holiday, and everyone stayed at our house.  Yep.  Around 30 people crowded into our home with their suitcases, presents, and bodies.  Most of the kids were younger so that helped.  The basement had just been finished so we had spent 6 weeks with church volunteers building, sheet rocking, carpeting, and painting rooms before they came.  The heat vents had not been installed correctly so even tho we had the heat blaring, it was dang cold in the basement.  My brother told me there was a wind chill in the family room where they guys all watched football, and many people slept.  Yikes!

That was the same year that Joel's parents came for Christmas Day dinner and we served them pumpkin pie before they headed home.  Later, when the rest of us had pie we were stunned to realize that we had forgotten to put the sugar in the pie!  Joel's folks never said a word, just quietly ate their pie and left for home!  I would have loved to have been in on their conversation as they headed back to their place.  We have laughed over that sugarless pie story for years!

We had moved hours away from our previous call, to "the middle of nowhere" as one family member expressed so eloquently.  It was not an easy drive to get to our very small town.  But that year everyone packed up and made the trip.  It is a Christmas we have never forgotten 30 people crowded into a house with 6 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms and made it all work!  Oh, and someone had strep throat so many of us ended up sick in bed with it ourselves!  It still makes me smile when I think about that Holiday gathering.

I am sure all of you have Christmas stories to share that make you smile or laugh out loud!  Stories about family, fellowship, and maybe even a few sugarless pies!  Memories held dear.  And, hopefully, many more to come!

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Take A Breath


I looked at the eye specialist and said without really thinking, "Take a breath!"  And he did.  Joel told me he nearly burst out laughing at my instructions to the doctor.  "Take a breath!"

On Tuesday morning I headed in to see the retina specialist.  The eye injections are not working well, so they are giving me eye shots every two weeks using the drug Eylia one time, and Avastin the next.  The doctor calls the leaking vessel..."resistant".  They seldom see this problem, so we are hopeful that it will work quickly.  Seriously, I need a break here with this body.

So the retina specialists come from Des Moines and see around 40-50 patients in a day.  That is a lot of people, a lot of injections.  My doctor is always in a hurry.  Tuesday was no exception.  He raced in, checked my eye, numbed it a bit, then injected Novacane in it.  He said he would be back and on his way out he told the nurse to get an Eylia shot ready.  At the same time Joel and I both said, "Avastin!"  He quickly corrected himself and repeated our words.  "Yes it is Avastan today."  He left the room for a few minutes and then came rushing back in.  All I thought was, "He is going to put a needle in my eye, he needs to calm down."  So.............I said to him, "OKAY, Take a breath!"  He stopped abruptly and did just that.  Then proceeded to give me the injection.

Don't you often feel like the world is spinning at top speed.  I sure do.  Especially in this winter season of my life.  Sometimes I hear Jesus say to me, "Just take a breath".  It is going to be okay.  Rest, relax, t.r.u.s.t Me.  Take a breath..........

I have an old friend who using breath when anxiety rears it's ugly head.  She "breathes in Jesus" and breathes out the anxiety.  I have done the same thing when sleep evades me.  It is helpful.  There is a Psalm that says, "I will praise you as long as I breathe."  Breath is what keeps us going.  In more ways than one!

Joel is still chuckling over my instructions to the doctor!  I never thought twice about it.  I was advocating for myself.  He had already goofed up what med I was to receive, so I was not about to have him put a needle in my eye "on the run".

How many times a day or a week do we need to "take a breath"?  How many times do we need to rest, relax, and trust our God as we walk through circumstances or situations that threaten to steal our peace?  It would do us all good to stop and take a breath!

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Expectations In The What If's

Expectation.  Positive speculation.   Affirmations of a renewed mind.  So, how do we know we have the renewed mind that the Bible talks about in Romans?  When our minds do not go to the worst case scenario as "what ifs" invade our thought process.  When we have expectations for a good outcome......when our speculations are for good and not evil.  Pastor Kris Vallotton shared in a recent sermon how he suffered from a nervous breakdown six years ago that left him sofa bound and unable to function well for over six months.  He had physically burned out from his travels and ministry and his body shut down.  God walked with him through the healing process, helping him fight for wholeness.  During this season of winter he began to study neuroscience and how the brain works in relation to the Bible's instructions to renew our minds. God knows how important it is for us to have hope.  How important it is to rely and God's promises.



It all relates to my present situation and the difficulty I have in not seeing the worst case scenarios that want to play out in my mind.  I am in a tough place.  The reality of my health concerns seems so big.  The eye injections are not yet helping my left eye.  I need kidney surgery again soon to remove the large stones in my rt kidney.  I am dealing with stage 3 breast cancer and the treatments are causing me to struggle on a daily basis physically and emotionally.   I can easily feel and see myself being knocked around by what the enemy has thrown my way.  There are days I just want to cover my head or lose myself in Netflix.  There are days I do just that.

But God.

There is a scripture that comes to mind.......2 Corinthians 4: 8-10 NLT

"We are hard pressed on every side by troubles, 
but we are not crushed.  
We are perplexed but not driven to despair.  
We are hunted down but never abandoned by God.  
We get knocked down but not destroyed.  
Through suffering our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus
 so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies."

Yeah.  hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, abandoned, struck down.  In all honesty it is how I feel now way too often.  But what do I KNOW?

I know God is fighting for me.  (For Us All)  Every day is filled with opportunities to see His goodness.  I have lost count of the many times I have received the same scripture......The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." I know my posts have been relentless in this message......I have needed it and I expect some of you do too.

God has promised to fight for me, for us.  Because He loves me.....He loves you.  Expect it!  He truly is so much bigger than anything we face in life.  During this Christmas season, we have an opportunity to focus on the baby born in a manger.  Born to bring us salvation and healing. Born to love us.  Born to fight for us. This is what we know.  Open the scriptures and hold tight to His promises......Born is the King of Israel!  Our King.  Our King who fights for us!


Saturday, December 1, 2018

Saturday's Scribbles: Advent, Cozy Robes, and Earthquakes

Good Saturday morning to you from our corner of stormy Iowa where significant rain, sleet, ice, and  snow are falling across the northern part of the state.  Between 5 to 12 inches are expected to fall, depending on the track it takes. Joel went for a two mile walk early this morning before it all started.  December is coming in with a bang.  Another winter far from the Arizona sun.  We have resigned ourselves to this winter season of our lives, with sickness and weather. In hope we believe that it is a season we will walk through doing the best we can in the process.  Some day the sun will shine, the snow will melt, and Spring will come.

Christmas tree 2018

We have been enjoying our Christmas tree so much.  It stands tall in our living room.  Our small angel tree graces a dining room table to brighten up that room.  Decorations are everywhere, and Christmas music is at our fingertips.  Don't you just love this time of year?



I have just finished week two of the daily meds and today I am feeling it more than ever.  In fact it is a P.J. day, and with the stormy weather, it seems right.  I ordered two new bathrobes recently and the one that is like a floor length sweatshirt is so warm on days like this.  I can't imagine not having a robe to relax in.  I could not justify the cost of most robes so went online and found a company, Blair, that had robes for sale quite reasonable.  In fact, cheap!  I had a coupon and free shipping and paid less than $40 for two robes that fit and do their job well.  None of my girls wear robes, in fact our middle daughter says she thinks it is a "generational thing" to even own one.  On days like today, I am grateful to have two robes for half the price of one!

This past week our oldest son, Matt, came for a visit.  We had lunch together and spent a few hours catching up on hugs and family.  I was able to send him home with my traditional pumpkin bread and a mini poinsettia graces our table, a gift from him.  When we lived in the Philippines, poinsettia bushes grew wild.  They were so beautiful!

George H.W. Bush has died at the age of 94.  I was always fascinated with his wife, Barbara.  She was a fiesty outspoken woman who loved her family and husband fiercely.  A real character.  I saw her in one photo during a White House event, and she was wearing a bright blue dress.  In today's political climate, that would not fly.........there is such a division with red and blue.  Even the White House trees are decorated with all red balls.  Everything appears to be a political statement.

How about that earthquake in Alaska...........and the 300 plus aftershocks in one day?!  Yikes!  I remember when we lived in the Philippines and had a small quake.  I was talking with the sewing girl and the door started banging and lights started swinging from the ceiling.  Our maid Nora had the kids out for a walk and I panicked.  I ran outside screaming for them. By the time I got outside it was over.  Joel was at work and said he could see a wall "waving" as it moved from the quake.  Our maid and the sew girl were not phased by it at all.   I kept thinking, where does an island go during a quake?  Down?  Ha!  Strange as it sounds, during our middle daughter's graduation in west central MN there was a brief quake.  We were aware of a rumbling noise and then a big bang.  Turns out it was a quake, but the only thing we noticed when we got home was a couple of pictures askew. 

December brings with it Advent, a time of waiting and preparing for the birth of our Savior Jesus.  I always have enjoyed this time of year.  I fondly remember our nightly devotions with the kids, lighting candles on the Advent wreath (special made in Philippines), opening up a door each night on the Advent calendar.  I loved when the family gathered together to focus on the coming birth.  I pray your December is filled with good memories of the past, and new memories for the future.  And maybe a warm bathrobe too!

Thursday, November 29, 2018

Christmas 1968


As I was listening to Christmas music today, I remembered our first Christmas together as a married couple.  It was 1968, Joel was a lowly airman in the Air Force, stationed at Rantoul Illinois for 9 months of tech training to work on air testing in airplanes.  We lived in a small Airstream trailer that was not wide enough for me to lay across......and I am under 5' 3" tall.  The bathroom was small enough that we could sit on the stool and wash our hands in the sink at the same time!

It was our first Christmas away from our families, we were living on $200 a month, and had little to spend on gifts.  But we bought each other 1 gift.....I bought Joel a pair of western boots and he bought me a bathrobe.  Joel has worn boots for as long as I can remember.  I love wearing robes, and still do enjoy having a robe to change into in the evenings.  We had a tiny tree with presents from my family under the tree, adding to our own gifts for each other. I had made cookies like we did at home........ending up with so many different kinds, we actually took most of them out to the barracks to share with other airmen who could not go home.  I don't recall, but I am thinking we had the traditional turkey dinner.

We were lonely for family, but we were so thankful to be together to celebrate.  We attended a local Lutheran church not far from our trailer house for Christmas Eve services.  I don't recall if we phoned home.  We could not afford a phone so if we did it would have been a collect call!

We have spent many Christmases far from our extended families and eventually as our kids grew into adults we have spent them far from our own family.  But we have always had each other.  For 50 years now we have never missed a Christmas together.  So grateful.  Our holidays have been celebrated in Illinois, New Mexico, Utah, Minnesota, Montana, Iowa, and The Philippine Islands

This year we will spend a quiet Christmas together, and our focus will be the same...........the waiting and anticipation with four weeks of Advent, leading up to the worship on Christmas Eve, and the focus on Jesus our Savior.

As we prepare to enter the Advent season, this year I am especially grateful for the love that sustains us as husband and wife.  The years behind, the present season, and the years to come.  I am thankful for the Presence of our Savior in the midst of our celebration.  We no longer live in a small Airstream, poor as "church mice" and newly separated from our families.  We have fifty years behind us, a foundation of faith and family to sustain us.  We are blessed.

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

All Out of Fight? God Isn't!



"He is with you.  He is for you.  
He fights for you when you are all out of fight. 
It is okay to rest. He is  your strength." 


Last Friday I felt pretty crappy.  Some days are like that.  I found myself under three blankets, and just could not get warm. Waves of nausea kept me swallowing and weakness kept me sitting.  Some of our family was still here and it saddened me that I could not function well for the few hours we had left together.  Then Saturday I felt pretty good.  We even went on a small adventure to one of our favorite stores here in town.  We did not stay long, it was small business Saturday and busy, but I got out.  There is no rhythm or reason to when I will feel like hiding under the covers and when I will be up and about.   It just is what it is.

The words I quoted above are from a Facebook page that I enjoy.  Definitely Friday was one of those days when I felt out of fight.  What I need to learn is to be okay with that and rest, because GOD is my strength.  Today I briefly saw a visual encounter of the Lion of Judah.  He looked at me fully and I saw His eyes were a beautiful blue..........then they turned green.........and then brown.  They were filled with a deep compassion and love that I felt deep inside.  Not too long ago I felt the Lion of Judah and saw Him in a visual encounter lean against my side.  He was warm to the touch and I could feel each breath He took.  Jesus was on one side of me and the Lion on the other.  Suddenly the Lion took off running at high speed like you see on TV with the lions in Africa.  I heard Jesus say, "He is taking down the enemy."

He does fight for us..........and if He is for us who can be against us?  We know someone who is struggling with the death of their long time spouse........we know someone who is dealing with the heartbreak of a child in pain..........we know someone who is saddened about a loved one who is terminally ill.  I am sure you know someone who is weary of the battle. We all do, we all have been there at some time or another.  Let us remember that when we are weary God is not.  He will fight for us.  Always.  Forever.  That is how much He loves us, our fierce Lion of Judah.

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday afternoon to you from our corner of Iowa where fog and rain has been hanging around.  Parts of Iowa are going to get a major snowstorm tonight and tomorrow, but so far, it is tracking to the south of us and we are not expecting any snow at all. 

Our Thanksgiving was a great celebration of family and good food.  And quite a few games of cribbage!  From the youngest to the oldest the table fills with kids, adults, and 4 cribbage boards.  In fact they usually take cards and a board back to the hotel at night.  We were able to celebrate with all but our Des Moines family.  The annual football game did not happen, but the family enjoyed a brisk walk after a meal of turkey, all the side dishes and pie, ice cream and bars.  Grandma Na spent more time on the sofa than she wanted, but it was fun to watch all the festivities.  We opened Christmas gifts Thursday evening as some people had to head back to other priorities.  Friday morning some of the grands decorated our Christmas tree, so we have been enjoying that already!  Everyone headed home Friday after Joel and I headed to the cancer center for labs, a Dr. appt. and more injections.  It was a good celebration with many memories to tuck away.

Kurschners

Mark and Noah

Sarah and Jonas

Our youngest daughter created a beautiful jar with lights and flowers for me.  Inside she had the family write notes of encouragement, Bible verses, etc. for me to take out and read when times are tough or I'm feeling sad.  It is a beautiful reminder of Who is with me, fighting for me, and who lovcs and prays for me. I am richly blessed.

Jar filled with love and encouragement

Saturday Joel and I went on a short adventure to a local store called Mason City Real Deals.  So festive!  We did not purchase anything, but it felt good to get out and do something that did not involve doctors.  Joel was going to put up outdoor lights, but a few were not working...... again....... so we decided to just trash the old lights and buy new ones in an easier style.



Our oldest daughter and her family gave me a plaque that sits on our coffee table within view.  A reminder for me that because God has me, I've got this.  Another family gave us a framed photo of their kids......a good reminder of why we fight for living.  Just being with family was such a blessing.  

I hope and pray your Thanksgiving weekend was filled with an abundance of blessings!  We have much to rejoice about.  So grateful!




Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Thankful Living


It is Thanksgiving week here in America.  A time for good food, fellowship, friends, family, and football.  Mostly in that order I expect.  It is my favorite gathering Holiday because it is the only Holiday when our family actually celebrates on the day.  We will be minus one family this year, which makes us sad, but we will still take a few photos, give a few hugs, play a few games of cribbage, and eat too much food.

Our first Thanksgiving as a married couple, we were separated due to Joel being in the Air Force, and having just finished basic training.  They "lost" his paperwork for a while and he ended up staying in Texas.  I spent the day with my family and he spent the day in the barracks.  One Thanksgiving in the Philippines, a typhoon came through and we ended up eating jello, chips, a bit of under cooked turkey and dessert.  Joel had to work, and as a meteorologist, he sat before a dark screen with a candle for light, waiting for the typhoon to pass.  Quite the image, really.

There is always something to be thankful for.  We have much to give thanks for this year.  Certainly, the cancer battle wants to steal our joy, but we cannot help but be grateful for family, who continue to pray and encourage us.  Friends who do the same.  Thankful for the cancer center just 12 minutes away from our home.  Thankful for Joel's Interim position.  Thankful for the treatments being tolerated, the kidney surgery going well.  Thankful for a warm home with a gas fireplace that turns on with a remote, a Bose player that has us already listening to our favorite Christmas music. Thankful for a store where we can order dinner for the family when energy is low.  Thankful for the money to order the meal, buy Christmas gift cards, and just plain have what we need and more.  We are thankful for a God who promises to fight for us.  We are blessed.



I look forward to gathering around our table, making memories and receiving a bounty of blessings.  I pray for you the same.  It is a time for thankful living.  There is always something to be thankful for!


Saturday, November 17, 2018

Saturday's Scribbles


Good Saturday morning to you from our corner of Iowa where the winter season has arrived well before Thanksgiving!  I do remember one Thanksgiving in Minnesota where we had a mighty snowstorm that caused us to cancel our trip to grandparents.  The snow was high, the roads were slick, and staying home was the only option!  Joel was out this morning snow blowing, as the white stuff began falling last night. They are promising it will be 41 at Thanksgiving, but we will see.............I'm hoping!

Speaking of Thanksgiving, most of our family will be here Wednesday night and Thursday to celebrate.  They are heading home Thursday night and Friday afternoon, as some have other things going on.  There is an understanding that Mom will need more rest too. We ordered the meal this year!  It makes sense. 

This past week as I sat in the cancer center, I noticed the people around me.  There was a young woman with her newborn baby.  The mom had a port in and was getting ready for chemo.  On Thursday I noticed a young child, around age 4, with a mask on, waiting to see an oncologist I believe.  There are many elderly there, and a few that are ages 40-60 I expect.  The staff that work the front desk are amazing.  I have dealt with them for three years, and now is not any different.  In fact, when one woman saw I was back, she asked me what was going on.  As I told her, I remember saying, "I just had surgery on my kidneys, so I am not in fighting mode, but I will be again."  She stood up, grabbed my hands, looked me in the eyes and replied, "Oh, and we will fight with you!"  That is how they are.  Caring, sincere, and personable.

Thursday we had a 1 1/2 hour appointment to discuss the SERD drug treatment.  Because of what it does to the body, it is considered a chemotherapy.  So many rules and precautions to take.  Joel has to wear gloves to even touch the pills, do my laundry, etc.  Bathroom etiquette has rules now, and even bodily contact. Good grief.  I started the pills Friday and can tell.  NO reactions though, just side effects starting.  Expected.

We did go out this past week and take care of Christmas.  This year it is all "cash or cards".  Much easier to deal with.  I love taking the time to pick out a special gift for someone, but not this season.  I am also loving the Hallmark Christmas movies.......and the Dr. Blake series on Netflix.

I was watching Dirty Jobs on TV, where Mike Rowe was taking care of the pins at a bowling alley.  It took me way back to 1980 when I bowled on a league in Medicine Lake Montana.  One woman on the team was probably 80 and could hardly lift her ball, but she could get to the line, drop that ball, and score high!  I would take our 4 year old son Mark along, and he loved it because he was able to have treats!  Pop and candy!  It was the only team I was ever on, but I enjoyed it.  Now days the only bowling I do is on the Wii.  I still do pretty darn good though!  Ha.....

Enjoy your weekend, treasure the moments in time, hug your family and friends...........and yourself!








Wednesday, November 14, 2018

The Warring Angel


"You've got this!"  I have had both friends and family speak these words to me in the past month.  There have been many days when I did not feel like I do.  Nada........One day as I thought about what was and still is ahead, I heard Jesus say, "I'VE got this.  He is fighting for me........for you, too.  Then a book title caught my attention.........."You've Got This Because God's Got You"!  And there it is.  The power behind the words.  The reason I have any handle on this at all is because I believe God has me in the palm of His hands.  He is fighting for me, and Holy lives in me giving me the strength to win this battle.

Yesterday I closed my eyes and Jesus took me into Heaven.  We walked down a familiar hallway, passing all the doors, so I asked Him, "Where are we going"?  He said, "The Throne Room.".  I had never been there so when we went in and I saw God sitting in all His glory on the throne, I went down on my knees, thinking this is where I should be when in God's presence.  But God stood me up and I leaned against Him.  He then gestured with His hand and asked me, "What do you see?"  I looking around and to my left I saw a huge group of people and angels singing praises and thanksgiving to God.  In the middle of my view there was a massive angel in a sword fight with a dark presence that was wearing armor and riding a slate colored horse.  Jesus said to me, "That is the spirit of death."  My heart was pounding as I watched my warring angel fight with this prince of darkness.  Before long the angel beheaded the spirit of death with his mighty sword.  Again, I was reassured that I was not fighting this battle alone.  I then looked to the right and saw a white mist.  In the mist I saw was the word T R U S T moving gracefully to a dance I did not hear or understand.  God's hand then came down out of the sky and handed me a big open Bible.  I thought and spoke aloud to God, "Your Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."  That is where my visual encounter ended.  As I shared with Joel what I had seen he told me he had just asked God for a word for me during his own quiet time, and God had said, "She can trust Me'.

The Bible is full of scriptures that speak to trusting God, no matter our circumstances.  Isaiah 30:15 is a favorite of mine, along with Proverbs 3.

"This is what our Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel says, 
 In repentance and rest is your salvation, 
in quietness and trust is your strength."
Isaiah 30:15

"Trust in the Lord your God and lean not on
your own understanding.  In all your ways
acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:4,5

There is so much going on right now that I am needing to take things just one step at a time.  I look for God in the midst of it all and find many blessings and ways He is showing up.  I see not only God but the doctors "fighting for me".  They are using their knowledge to do what they can to help me get well.  I am grateful.  Yet I know that my help comes from the Lord.  Through His warring angels, His Word, His power.  And so we praise Him, we worship our God who saves!  So grateful.


Monday, November 12, 2018

Moments In Time


I realized Sunday morning that there are moments in time where this journey with cancer, kidneys, etc. does not fill my vision, my thoughts, my prayers, my very breath.  There are moments now where I can find joy.  Laughing at The Golden Girls, viewing a sunset, make plans for Thanksgiving, buying Christmas gift cards.  There are moments, and I am so grateful for them.

I especially am enjoying the weekends, when the caller id on the phone does not tell me the cancer center is calling, or the urology department, the eye clinic, the imaging department or others are not wanting to schedule the next thing.  Yeah.  Yesterday I woke after nine hours of sleep.  I have not slept that long for the past month and it felt so good.  All snuggled in under my Woolie.  Nice.

Even though the phone does not ring, the doorbell does.  Saturday UPS delivered an overnight "urgent" letter to me from our insurance company.  They have overturned the denial so I am able to add the daily medication to the injections.  An answer to prayer as we continue in this valley season.  We are going on through to the promised land and we are giving thanks for all moments big and small that sustain us along the way.

Moments in time. Recently our daughter Beth sent us the YouTube link to our granddaughter Abbi's chorale concert.  It was so amazing to click on the link and hear her singing.  A moment in time when we could be a part of her Senior year from afar.

Moments in time:  A phone call from our oldest son laced with words of encouragement, a few chuckles, and a few words of wisdom.  A text from our middle girl asking how I am doing?  The knowledge that our kids are all praying for me, for us.  Believing in the power of prayer, believing in our Lord.  Giving thanks for the moments.

Moments in time: Turning out the light at night and snuggling up against Joel's back.  A wonderful way to close my eyes and drift off to sleep. 

The journey ahead is difficult and long, but God provides moments in time to encourage and strengthen us.  Moments in time to enjoy the small blessings that come our way. 

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Saturday's Scribbles

Good Saturday morning to you from our cold part of north Iowa.  The low last night was 11 degrees.....and with winds adding to the mix?  Ugh!  The sun is shining, but the fireplace is what is warming my toes today.  Joel had to drive up to the Twin Cities Friday afternoon to attend our friend Barb's funeral.  We have known Barb and Dan since Joel and Dan were at seminary together in the 70's.  Barb fought a hard battle, but cancer took her earthly body in the end.  But not her soul.  She was a fine, caring Christian who loved her family and the Lord.  I am sure when Jesus opened His arms to her He said, "Well done good and faithful servant".

Joel arrived home late Friday night and after a good night's sleep he headed south to one of the churches he is serving to help officiate at a funeral for a church member.  I think he will be ready for a good nap after Sunday's services.  It has been a busy week.

I was unable to go with him to our friend's funeral.  I am doing well after the surgery, but have been fighting a cold.  Thursday I had to have a bone density test and then an echo cardiogram.  Friday morning was spent at the cancer center.  Lab work, a visit with the doctor, and two injections of SERD hormonal drugs to start my treatment. A 5 hour round trip was not advisable under the circumstances.  The good news is my heart and bones are fine and my blood work looked good.  The challenge is in getting our Express Script to okay the expensive pills that go along with the injections.    The doctor is working on that, but most importantly we are praying on that! 

I am thankful that the elections are over and we can go back to prescription drug ads instead of political ads.  Although they both stink!  I am enjoying Hallmark Christmas movies, although it makes me want to get our tree decorated~  Ha!  I also have been enjoying a couple of shows on Netflix.  Two British shows, Dr. Blake Mysteries and Land Girls, have filled my time when the sofa calls me or I need a distraction from life in general.  We still watch NCIS faithfully.  Do you have a few favorites?

Thursday night we dug out the "Woolie"!  It was time.  My organic wool comforter keeps me so warm in the winter months.  All I need is a top sheet and the Woolie and I'm good to go.  As I have said before, I believe wool has healing properties.  Joel wears wool gloves to sleep at night and believes they keep his hands from hurting.  I sleep with a Cuddle Ewe under the fitted sheet which is stuffed with wool.  Then I have the Woolie as a cover and oh my, it is Heaven!  I am probably boring you.....time to move on!

Off and on we think about getting another dog.  We usually talk ourselves out of it, remembering the costs, the upkeep, and the risk of ticks coming into the house.  And then there will be a story like our daughter shared on Facebook this week........Beth woke up to a "rancid coffee smell" which soon turned into a nightmare when they discovered their 95 lb puppy, Koda had pooped liquid poop all over the carpeted floor of their bedroom closet.  They woke up to the smell!  Reason #whatever on why we need to live without a puppy companion right now.

When I went for the echo the woman performing the test began visiting with me.  Her Christmasy name seemed appropriate for this season to begin.  She shared she had been diagnosed as a kid with bone cancer, survived that to be diagnosed with thyroid cancer two years ago.  She was cancer free once again.  Such a young woman to have dealt with so much.  Life is full of challenges, and the grace with which she was handling hers was not lost on me.  Bless her Lord with health and full healing as she journeys through life.  Bless us all.

God has continued to send different versions of Exodus 14:14, each one a comfort and strength.  I leave you today with the latest....

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Surrounded By You

When I began this journey with lobular breast cancer, a friend sent me a song she had heard at church on Sunday morning.  It is written by Michael Smith and titled, "Surrounded".  Today as I was listening to this song on my playlist, I immediately remembered when Joel and I had been to Destiny Church in Rochester MN and three women had spoken over us the prophetic words God had shown them.  One woman said, "I see Holy Spirit surrounding you completely.  Everything you need is right there, just reach out."

The words of the song are simple..........."It may look like I'm surrounded, but I'm surrounded by You."  A song of praise to replace a blanket of heaviness.  It does feel like I am surrounded.  The advanced cancer, the kidneys, surgeries, the treatments in my physically challenged body.  Yeah......surrounded by the enemy.   But God.


As I thought about what we had been told at Destiny Church, I saw Jesus standing beside me, reaching out to me.  I took my hand and placed it in His warm, firm, steady hand.  Like the woman said to us, we need only reach out and what we need will be right there.   The love and prayers of family and friends, the medical help needed, our great God!

We may be surrounded by the enemy, but our inner circle is all about Jesus.  Holy is right there encompassing us, holding us. We all have battles we fight at one time or another.  We may feel overwhelmed, but it is God who surrounds us with His love, His goodness, His healing.  For that we give You thanks, Lord. 

Saturday, November 3, 2018

Saturday's Scribbles


Good Saturday evening to you from our corner of Iowa where the rainy weather seems to have set the mood here in our home.  Joel has just returned from a walk in the rain, hoping the fresh air will help him overcome the cold that is trying to take up residence.  I would love to be outside and will step out on the porch later to take in a few breaths, but I am mostly resting on the sofa dealing with the aftermath of the kidney stints and adjusting to my bladder's complaints that foreign objects are invading.  The surgery went well, and yesterday I felt pretty good.  Has anyone else noticed that it is the second day when it hits you?  Yeah.  I'm glad all went well in this first procedure so the kidneys can heal.

In the past 17 days I have gone through 14 procedures, tests, biopsies, doctor appointments and blood draws.  I am loving the weekend because there are no phone calls from various clinics, just Hallmark Christmas Movies and. Netflix.  Waffles for supper ~a comfort food for me.

Fall is quickly leaving, although there are still a few trees sharing their beautiful colors, but the ground is covered with those leaves that have let go and created a blanket for us to walk on.  Don't you just love the sound of leaves crunching under our feet.  Joel has been preparing the yard for winter.  Seasons come and seasons go, in nature and in life.

Speaking of that, while I was in surgery this past Thursday Joel received a call from a long time close friend, Dan, who shared that his wife had died peacefully surrounded by family just that morning.  She fought valiantly to stay on this earth, but death came.  Jesus welcomed her home and knowing her, His first words were "Well done good and faithful servant."  We mourn her loss while rejoicing in the freedom she is now experiencing.

Scribbling back to the Hallmark Channel and Hallmark Mystery Channel, don't you just love the light hearted happy endings that come with their movies?  Sometimes it is just what a person needs, especially when life keeps you off balance.  I am thinking we may have to put up our tree and get out the Christmas music early this year!

I hope your week has been uneventful.  Just a run of the mill, every day is normal type of week.  If not, be sure to take time to stop, breath deeply, and treasure every moment of joy.  And remember how much God loves you.  Recently I read a quote that said, "It is one thing to know God is love, but it is another to know God loves YOU!  He does, you know.  He truly does.

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Confirmation, Cancer, and Hope

This past weekend we packed up our car and headed out of town, leaving behind the dark cloud of cancer.  We went north to celebrate our granddaughter's confirmation.  A time of affirming her baptism and confirming her faith.  We are so proud of her.  Her statement of faith still resonates with us.  So very grateful that God is the center of the lives of our children, in-laws and grandchildren. 
It was great to hug on some of our kids, snuggle with grands.  We are so blessed. 

Daughter Bethany and Mom
(our confirmation family does not allow their pics on here 
so they are absent in photos but not our hearts!)


Granddaughter Abbi and Grandma

'
Grandson Noah

What a wonderful time it was!  It ended too quickly.  God has continued to give me different scriptures that are letting me know He is fighting my battles.  Seeing some of the family has helped me to understand that there is a whole team who are leading the way in prayer. 

Sometimes we can only stand firm and let God fight for us.  The endless appointments, tests, labs, and diagnoses have been more than challenging.  In the midst of the cancer journey a problem with my kidneys surfaced through the PET scan.  We saw the urologist Tuesday and each kidney has a very large stone and in the rt one is is causing some blockage.  So tomorrow morning I will have day surgery to have a stent put in my kidney.  I also saw the oncologist and he has shifted his plan to be a powerful neo-adjulent hormonal therapy, hoping to avoid chemo for my body.  We are digesting this and will decide if we are on board 100%.  IF it does not shrink tumor on skin and inside in 4 weeks he will then go to chemo for 3 months.  Surgery will still be around March, doing chemo or hormonal treatments first since it has invaded the skin.

My emotions are up and down and all around.  Sometimes I feel strong and sometimes not.  During the latter times I ask Joel to remind me of what we know for sure..............That God is with us.  That He fights for us.  That we know that we know that no matter what comes, the victory is ours.  Even in death the victory is ours.  Yet we declare as scripture says, "I will live and not die, and declare the works of the Lord."

Which brings me back to our granddaughter who confirmed her faith in God this past weekend.  A step of faith and commitment in our grand, who knows where her help comes from.  So grateful we were able to be there celebrating with family and their friends.  Let hope rise! 

 What I woke to Monday morning in Minnesota
Sunrise of Hope!

Thursday, October 25, 2018

A Bumpy Ride



The past ten days have been absolutely overwhelming.  All we could do, are doing is hanging on to each other and remembering that the Lord will fight for us. It is a bumpy ride.   I have been through blood tests, a breast MRI, a PET scan, three more skin biopsies, and appointments with a doctor and the surgeon.  It seemed like every test brought with it yet another test, and more bad news. Joel and I would hold tight to each other in tears and sometimes anger, trying to make sense of this.  I am not so sure we can make sense of it, so we hold on to what we know.  God is with us.  

Here is the diagnosis as of yesterday.  I have a large tumor behind the nipple in the right breast and the cancer has invaded the skin around the nipple.  The good news is that it has not gone into the lymphatic vessels with what they tested.  The PET scan gave us more hope because the cancer has not moved anywhere else in the body.  After days of bad news this report brought some relief.  The PET also showed I have a lot of kidney stones in both kidneys and the starting of blockage.  I had no clue.  No symptoms.  So I see a urologist early next week for this new glitch.  I will see the medical oncologist on the same day.  Because the cancer is on the skin I will have chemo first.  It is so far been diagnosed as a Stage 3B.  Serious stuff.

A team of doctors are meeting today to discuss my case and the breast cancer advocate will be with them.  One was surprised by this lobular invasive cancer appearing so large in a radiated breast less than 3 years after surgery and radiation.  A totally different kind,  I have been told it is sneaky, hiding, spreading out so you are unable to feel a lump.  It does not show up on a mammogram until it is large and sometimes not even then.  It is not always seen with an ultrasound either.  The MRI made it all clear.

We have bee feeling the prayers of family and friends.  We have tried to take this one hour at a time.  We remind ourselves of God's goodness............His promises to us..............that the ultimate victory is ours.  We remember the verse I have received 3 times recently and countless times in the past.



I am looking out the window as I type and enjoying our neighbor's colorful tree.  So rich with color.  This morning we watched a lone deer come into our yard and graciously give us something else to think about.  Tomorrow we will head up into Minnesota to celebrate a grandchild's confirmation.  It will be good to have something else to think about.....to celebrate.  

In the early hours of the morning on Wednesday, I asked God for a miracle.  I also asked Him to send someone my way during the PET scan at the hospital who was in need of encouragement and prayer.  Someone who needed to hear about God's love.  It turned out that one of the people helping me was suffering from Lyme Disease.  As we talked she cried, we cried together and I tried to encourage her not to give up.  To keep fighting.  She was okay with me praying so I held her and prayed for her.  This small encounter was such a gift for me.  To be able to reach out and help someone else who was in pain felt so good.  And I do think the miracle we received was that it was not anywhere else in the body.......nor the lymphatic vessels as they thought.  

God does fight for us.  It may not always seem like it, but He does fight with us and for us.  



..



Sunday, October 21, 2018

In The Storm

A few days ago, before the diagnosis, I asked God "Where are you?"  I was struggling with yet one more test, one more "rule out or rule in", one more biopsy.  As I shared before, I immediately saw a lighthouse on a cliff with a beam of light radiating out from the shore.  I was in the stormy sea being tossed about, looking at the Lighthouse.  Jesus then said, "Keep your eyes on Me."

It was a simple but yet powerful message.  He did not cause this storm, but He sees it.  He wants me to seek and see Him until the storm ends.  And it will end.  I shared this visual encounter with our oldest and she sent me a beautiful picture that encompasses what I saw.


We all go through storms in life.  Some more difficult than others, but never do we go through them alone.  Jesus is our rock.  He is steady, loving, powerful, and faithful to His kids.  He is our Light in a dark world.

Today I heard a story of healing from a young woman at Bethel school.  She was struggling on whether she believed in healing or not because of her mom's physical condition.  God spoke to her and said, "I have not called you to always understand Me, I have called you to trust Me."  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.....  (Proverbs 3)  We can trust Him in the storms that come our way, and keeping our eyes upon Jesus makes that possible.  He is our Light!

Thursday, October 18, 2018

The Dammit Doll Unearthed


Three years ago when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, our oldest daughter sent me a doll in the mail......a Dammit Doll to use when I was frustrated.  Today I dug that doll back out because yesterday I was diagnosed with another kind of breast cancer in the same breast.  It has absolutely stunned both Joel and myself.  How can this be?  I have now had 4 different kinds of cancer in just 8 years.  There are no words, and yet words are what I do best to express myself. 

Yesterday we were both numb.  I cried all day and still find my cheeks wet at times.  Yesterday I felt very sorry for myself.  Yesterday I "gave up".  Quit.  No more, Jesus.  Just take me home.  I am not afraid of being dead, I know where I will be.  I know my body will be whole and free once I move from the earthly realm into the heavenly one.  Weariness filled my body, soul, and spirit right now.  And where the heck is God in all this?  "Why" questions keep popping up in my brain, fear rises like bile in my throat and anger seeps out my pores.  Where is God?


I asked that question of Him two days ago...."Where are you God?"  I immediately saw a lighthouse on a cliff similar to the one on the North Shore  of Lake Superior, called, Split Rock.  I saw myself out in a stormy sea and I could just see the beam from the lighthouse.  God said, "Keep your eyes on Me."  It wasn't the answer I wanted, but it is the answer I received.

So, once again I am on a journey I would rather not take.  Tomorrow I have a breast MRI as this kind of cancer, Infiltrating Lobular Pleumorphic Cancer tends to move around.  Only 20% of breast cancers are this diagnosis.  It has moved out of the gland so the MRI with contrast will show the doctor whether it is in other areas or the other breast.  It is complicated with the lymph nodes due to the surgery and extraction of nodes three years ago.  I see a surgeon Monday and will get results then.  I am planning on having a double mastectomy.  Enough already.

Life is certainly to be treasured isn't it.  I expect there will be hard days ahead. Today I am almost ready to fight again.  Not quite, but almost.  I am a warrior by nature so I will not give up on this life. I expect that Dammit Doll may come in handy at times.  I know that I cannot walk through this journey without God on one side and Joel on the other.  Without the prayers of friends and family.  In
Job it says, Satan may "slay me" but I will serve Him. 

This is not from God.  Do I understand why He has not intervened here?  No I don't but I do know He did not cause this nor does he use sickness or suffering to bring Him glory.  He is going to use this awful experience for good somehow.  He is in the midst of my journey, and yours, whatever that may be.  He is with us always.

So today I am okay with not being okay.  I am okay with crying, with crying "uncle" in this situation.  I am not one to give up, and God has told me more than once over the years not to.  Am I mad at God?  Yep.  He can handle it. 

Your prayers for Joel and myself would be much appreciated.  For now I am working hard to live as my mother did for years as a recovering alcoholic.. "One day at a time."  I am keeping my Bible close by and the Dammit Doll I unearthed  within my reach, while holding tight to Joel and hanging on to hope for tomorrow. 

Friday, October 12, 2018

Bumps, Bruises, And Hallelujahs



It could have been so much worse.  The what-ifs formed a long list, but the hallelujahs outnumbered them.  The story itself is funny, scary, and as old as time.  

On Wednesday afternoon I was taking something to the garbage bin in the garage, and as I walked briskly to the container I tripped.  I tripped hard over a solid plank of wood Joel has on the floor that guides him where to stop the SUV when he drives in.  I moved forward trying to keep my balance.  First one shoe fell off...........then the other.  As momentum gathered I went at least 10 feet ahead, slamming into the garage door as I went down.  I hit my right upper back and then my head against the garage door, coming down on my left arm and knee before rolling twice and coming to a stop on my belly and face.  My sunglasses flew off the top of my head, my glasses were half off my face, and I found myself laying in a puddle of rain water.  

Joel was watching from the kitchen door, and was frozen at first in fear as he saw and then heard me hit the door and floor.  He said he came over expecting to see blood or a broken limb, or even me laying unconscious.  Meanwhile, anger rose up in me.  and he heard me yell, "NO, NO, NO!  This is NOT happening to me."   It was just two weeks ago I walked into Joel's new office, forgetting you had to step down two steps, and I fell, this time landing on my feet and against a desk.  Now this??!?

If you found yourself giggling when you read my story, I get that.  Later on I did too, but Joel said it was not funny to watch.  It was really scary.........he checked me out before he helped me up and into the house.  It did not take long to be giving thanks that nothing appeared broken or badly hurt.  I got cleaned up, put on comfy clothes and we covered my back from top to bottom with essential oils mixed in coconut oil.  I immediately asked a few prayer warriors to pray and give thanks.  We watched and waited but nothing more came to light.  

Today we are giving thanks that only a few bruises are showing up.  My lower back is always an issue but it is holding and just achy like much of my body.  Stiff and achy, but nothing like we expected! We keep shaking our heads and giving thanks that this body is doing okay after such a bad fall.  Hallelujahs just keep coming!  I'm thinking a guardian angel cushioned my fall.  It could have been so much worse!  These bumps and bruises will fade.  Our hallelujahs expressed with gratitude and thankfulness will last forever!

And that plank of wood on the garage floor??  I have bumped into that before and this time, well, this time was the very last time that will be happening.  It is gone.  And a tennis ball hanging down from the ceiling of the garage has replaced it!  At least I can't trip over that!

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Those Moments in Time




There are moments in time which we hold precious.  They are often brief and require us to delve right in while quietly praying they won't end.  Lately one of those moments has come to my mind over and over.

It was a holiday gathering.  Most of our grands come with their parents for 2-3 days once a year, maybe twice.  During one of those times that 3 of our 5 families were still hanging around, our oldest told us that a couple of the kids had some questions about faith, the Bible, and God Himself.  We sat around the dining room table that evening and listened to their questions and their thoughts, responding as best we could.  The parents were within hearing distance and a couple of them joined in once in awhile.

There were some hard questions that we did not have the answer for.  Like, "If someone does not believe in Jesus before he dies, will they always go to hell......or will they have another chance"?  One of our granddaughter's had a seriously important and hard question that she was struggling with.......and the answer was not there in black and white.  Only mystery.......we believe God's word so we go back to His Words, His promises and we step into trust.  We just don't have all the answers do we?!

Our one child says they have a notebook they are putting all the unanswered questions in so when they get to Heaven they will be able to ask God for the answers!  There is the thought that in Heaven those unanswered questions won't matter anymore.

We have learned over the years that we can take all our questions to Jesus and He listens.  From scriptures we see His answers are often told in stories, rather that cut and dried.  In my own experience there are questions that immediately are answered and other that just don't get answered to my satisfaction.  And in those times I try to find peace with that whole rest and trust action that God seeks from us.

I hope and pray that our honesty with our grands was a blessing for them.  We know what we know and we express that to them...our beliefs after 70 plus years, but there are also those questions we do not have a firm answer for.  And that is where we seek God more and rely on His word.  And when we can't make sense out of some of those Bible passages, we rely on His love.

In a few congregations Joel has taken the sermon time for questions. Even as adults we have plenty of questions don't we.  Joel's responses are usually what "the Lutheran Church believes, what the Scriptures say, and also a few "Joelisms".

I hope we have more of those precious moments with all our grands.  They are growing up so quickly, and shaping their own minds, while, as is our prayer,  standing firmly on the foundation their parents have laid out before them.  We are so grateful for those precious moments in time.  So grateful..............

Saturday, October 6, 2018

Saturday's Scribbles




Good Saturday morning from the Midwest where Fall is showing off its beauty.  The trees here are wearing the colors orange, gold, and rust, which is brightening up the sun-less skies.  It has been cloudy and rainy off and on all week and it appears it will continue another week.  Not good news for the farmers who are attempting to harvest their crops.

I just waved good-bye to my cowboy preacher as he heads north an hour to his favorite day of the year, actually another holiday for him ~ Rendezvous Days ~where he goes for 12 hours to step back in time to the days of trade, tents, Muzzleloaders, open fires and wood smoke.  He absolutely loves it and I am so thankful he can go.   We talked a bit this morning as I thought back about when he was so very sick with Lyme.  He would still go, but after driving an hour he would then have to nap when he arrived.  He would walk around a bit, find a place to sit, and then go back to the car and nap again.  And again.  It was no way to live, and we know so many people who suffer with that hideous disease.  Lord have mercy.

Looking back at Joel's health before his healing reminds me of my own journey and how much better I am.  Sometimes with the cancers and major eye problem I forget....I forget that I cam so much stronger, walking 30-45 minutes a day, doing housework, cooking, getting out and about and even learning to drive again.  Seriously a long way from being sofa bound or confined to the house.

Our granddaughter Abbi just turned 18 and celebrated Homecoming at the same time.  Eighteen seems so far away as I walk in my seventh decade of life, but I do remember it being an exciting time. It is amazing to watch, even from a distance,  as our grands do life.  Most of them are teens now, and busy as students, athletes, and musicians.  We are so grateful for the good people they are!

Even though we have lived here in Mason City for 22 years now, we have moved 23 times in 50 years, and have left friends behind in several places.  Having long distance friends seems to be "normal" for us, and this past week we Skyped with some friends who are just that.  It is always good to catch up and laugh together.  We talked to old friends on our Anniversary, too.  They called from South Carolina where they moved after George retired from the Air Force.  We met them while we were both stationed in the Philippines, and we have kept in touch since.  Helen and I became fast friends and "sisters in Christ" as she labeled us.  It was hard to say good-bye when we parted, and we have not seen them face to face since!  What a reunion we will have in Heaven.  Friends are precious, and not always coming in quantity.  Those we hold dear truly are sent to us by God and for them we are so grateful.

I hope my rambling has you looking at fall, at friends, and at family for the gifts they are.  Enjoy each and every moment with thanksgiving.