The past ten days have been absolutely overwhelming. All we could do, are doing is hanging on to each other and remembering that the Lord will fight for us. It is a bumpy ride. I have been through blood tests, a breast MRI, a PET scan, three more skin biopsies, and appointments with a doctor and the surgeon. It seemed like every test brought with it yet another test, and more bad news. Joel and I would hold tight to each other in tears and sometimes anger, trying to make sense of this. I am not so sure we can make sense of it, so we hold on to what we know. God is with us.
Here is the diagnosis as of yesterday. I have a large tumor behind the nipple in the right breast and the cancer has invaded the skin around the nipple. The good news is that it has not gone into the lymphatic vessels with what they tested. The PET scan gave us more hope because the cancer has not moved anywhere else in the body. After days of bad news this report brought some relief. The PET also showed I have a lot of kidney stones in both kidneys and the starting of blockage. I had no clue. No symptoms. So I see a urologist early next week for this new glitch. I will see the medical oncologist on the same day. Because the cancer is on the skin I will have chemo first. It is so far been diagnosed as a Stage 3B. Serious stuff.
A team of doctors are meeting today to discuss my case and the breast cancer advocate will be with them. One was surprised by this lobular invasive cancer appearing so large in a radiated breast less than 3 years after surgery and radiation. A totally different kind, I have been told it is sneaky, hiding, spreading out so you are unable to feel a lump. It does not show up on a mammogram until it is large and sometimes not even then. It is not always seen with an ultrasound either. The MRI made it all clear.
We have bee feeling the prayers of family and friends. We have tried to take this one hour at a time. We remind ourselves of God's goodness............His promises to us..............that the ultimate victory is ours. We remember the verse I have received 3 times recently and countless times in the past.
I am looking out the window as I type and enjoying our neighbor's colorful tree. So rich with color. This morning we watched a lone deer come into our yard and graciously give us something else to think about. Tomorrow we will head up into Minnesota to celebrate a grandchild's confirmation. It will be good to have something else to think about.....to celebrate.
In the early hours of the morning on Wednesday, I asked God for a miracle. I also asked Him to send someone my way during the PET scan at the hospital who was in need of encouragement and prayer. Someone who needed to hear about God's love. It turned out that one of the people helping me was suffering from Lyme Disease. As we talked she cried, we cried together and I tried to encourage her not to give up. To keep fighting. She was okay with me praying so I held her and prayed for her. This small encounter was such a gift for me. To be able to reach out and help someone else who was in pain felt so good. And I do think the miracle we received was that it was not anywhere else in the body.......nor the lymphatic vessels as they thought.
God does fight for us. It may not always seem like it, but He does fight with us and for us.