This morning Joel and I sat quietly after asking God to share with us something He wanted to tell each of us today. Immediately I saw myself surrounded by white feathers. They were swirling around me and I was standing waist deep in feathers. I saw myself smiling as I reached out and put one in my hand.
As I pondered if these were angel feathers or God's sheltering feathers I heard these words: "Your worries are as light as a feather...." I was stunned by what God was saying. I questioned, "All these white feathers are my worries? Waist deep, surrounding and swirling around me.....worries? God interrupted my thoughts with His words....."Your worries are as light as a feather when placed in MY hands." I saw God's enormous hand come down from the sky and then I saw myself putting a feather in the palm of His hand. Of course! What I had heard became clear to me when seeing His hand......
When we place our worries into God's hands, they become light as a feather in our lives. They do not burden us or weigh us down. God has often used feathers when He talks with me. Our oldest daughter reminds me of that with gifts focused on His sheltering feathers and a friend sends me text images of feathers periodically. Feathers led us to Bethel Church nearly 3 years ago and scriptures on feathers helped me walk through cancer in 2015. And today God used them to bring peace and assurance to an old worrier! Psalm 91:4 has become such an important scripture for me over the past five years, that I want to share it with you today.
I would expect we all have a few worries weighing us down right now. I know I do. Being honest here, I struggle with worrying the cancer will come back. I worry about Joel getting Covid-19...I worry I will get it, or our family members and what that could mean for them. Do to childhood situations I experienced , being "safe" has always been at the top of my needs list. Through Holy Spirit's guidance most of that has healed, but the last two years of cancer and surgeries and now the Covid-19 virus are whispering to me that the world is not safe, my world is not safe. Yeah, I worry.......And many many times I am not even aware of how much those worries creep into my mind, body, and spirit.
But God is aware of how the enemy spends his time seeking to "kill, steal, and destroy", even in our worries. In His deep love for us He wants us to know where our peace and courage lie. It is in Him. Today He opened the door for me to be aware that He is waiting for me to once again place all my worries in His more than capable hands. All of us can place our worries in God's capable hands, and by placing them in His hands, they become light as feathers!
A couple of weeks ago I closed my eyes and quietly waited for God to show me anything He wished me to see. I then saw myself sitting on a hillside looking down over bay and could see small boats and sailboats in the water. On my left Jesus sat next to me and I linked arms with Him. On my right was Holy Spirit, a swirl of colorful energy spinning around. I felt heat against my leg and foot and when I looked the Lion of Judah was leaning against me. I asked where God was and heard Him say, "I'm behind you. I've got your back."
This was all I saw but it gave me great comfort. Surrounded by the Trinity, protected as I move forward in this season of my life. I liked knowing that Jesus, the Lamb is also the Lion. He sacrificed His life for me, for us. He also fights for us as the mighty Lion of Judah. It was a good reminder for me.
Recently I reread the story of a couple who experienced an angel coming to the husband's need as he went through a terrible ordeal when a freak accident resulted in him being medivaced to Mayo Clinic. Several people saw this guardian angel in men's clothing with unusual happenings affirming that it was an angel! Such a beautiful story of how God shows up for His children. Stories, or testimonies shared give God praise, but they also build up our faith. We realize how much God loves us and remember His goodness.
When Joel was 16 years old he was outside one morning and looked up in the sky. There he saw three crosses. His thought was, "That is someone's cross..." It was just a few days later that his dad died suddenly and unexpectedly. He believes God spoke to him that morning with a visual of three crosses in the sky. This event profoundly shaped Joel's faith.
My friend Linny Saunders and her hubby Dwight have so many stories to share of God's faithfulness that she even wrote a book called "The Memorial Box". They have an actual large curio type box where they keep visual reminders of stories where God intervened in their lives. With 14 children, and 9 still at home, they have many stories to share. She keeps a memorial box because of what it says in the book of Joshua where God's instructions were that Joshua build a memorial so when future generations look at it and ask what it is for, they will hear the many stories of God's faithfulness as they ventured into the promised land. We all have those stories to share too!
A few years ago when Joel was interim at a small church in a small Iowa town, he asked if people would share their "Faith stories"with the rest of the congregation. They were willing to take 5 minutes during Sunday morning services to share and listen to how God has shown up for His children. It was wonderful! So many had great testimonies of how God intervened, spoke, or showed up in the lives of His children. Those stories we heard benefited and blessed us all!
It is good to hear how God works in the lives of His children and it is good for us to look back and remember how He has blessed us during different seasons of our lives. He is a good good Father. Someone today may need to hear your faith story. We all have them. I love to hear the stories~ I am sure you do too!
This coming Sunday our small micropolitan city will hold a joint service at the college. It is the 500th anniversary of the Reformation and the 4 ELCA churches will worship as one. Joel was in Gutenburg, Germany during the 450th year......and here it is, 50 years later and we are celebrating Martin Luther and the Reformation.
We watched the movie "Luther" this week from the comforts of our living room. It is part of Joel's preparation for his sermon next Sunday. Not for the joint service here in town, but for the smallest of congregations he fills in at an hour away. A country church that worships 15-20 people on a good Sunday morning. They are unable to sustain a pastor, but wanting to keep the doors of their church open for worship. They are an active group, willing to sacrifice and serve to keep going for as long as they can. I expect Martin Luther would smile at their determination.
What Luther did was courageous, bold, crazy, and out of obedience to God. He did what he felt God was calling him to do, but it was costly, messy, and at times scary. He studied the scriptures in depth and from his studies came a rebelling of what had become at that time a corrupt Catholic church. He sought the Lord in his studies and found grace. Grace for the people. That grace led him into the Reformation and Protestantism was born.
Joel's and my histories run deep in the Lutheran church. His great grandparents gave the land and helped build a church in NW Minnesota.....my great grandparents gave the land and helped build a church in SE Minnesota. Joel's parents were active in their country church, located just a quarter mile from the family farm. My parents story is much different, but as a young child I was periodically taken to church by one sister, and eventually raised in the church by my oldest sister and family. Joel and I met at The Lutheran Bible Institute in Mpls. MN. Our children were raised in the Lutheran Church where dad preached. Definitely a foundation rooted in Jesus and the Lutheran Church.
Our journey has taken us many places and we have sat in the pews and chairs of a variety of denominational and non-denominational churches. While in Albuquerque NM (Air Force) we used to attend a Sat night Catholic Mass with a guitar playing priest.....it was the 60's! In Duluth two years later we would attend and Joel even preached at a Lutheran church Sunday mornings. Sunday evenings we would head with friends downtown to The Tabernacle ~ a large Assembly type church. It is where I first heard the gift of praying in tongues. In the Philippines from 1974-76 we attended an interdenominational church on Clark Air Base, took part in a Baptist Serviceman's club off base, and I was part of a wonderful interdenominational group of women who gathered weekly in private homes. The first time I was prayed for and received physical healing was with those woman.
Once Joel went to seminary our places of worship were confined to only the Lutheran Church where Joel served. For 32 years we graced their pews, walking with the ELCA through many changes. Now, with Joel retired but still filling in, we still often sit in Lutheran houses of worship, but we also go to other non-denominational churches that embrace more of the prophetic, charismatic, and healing.
We never expected to be on such a journey, but like Martin Luther, and all of the "ordinary" people, we are trying to walk in obedience to God. Forever grateful to our great grandparents for their sustaining faith and obedience to God, forever grateful for hear the Word as children and receiving Jesus into our lives, forever grateful for our children knowing and serving God, and forever grateful for God beckoning us to more. We celebrate this weekend the foundation of the Protestantism and especially the Lutheran church through Martin Luther and the large roll it has played in our faith and the faith of so many others.
Recently I was watching the news about a professional baseball player who went on a tirade and cut up other players "throwback" uniform shirts because he did not want to wear them. It sounds so bizarre and just plain crazy, but it took me back to a situation in my life that occurred when I was around 21.
Joel was assigned to Rantoul, Illinois for 9 months of training in the Air Force. We were living on $200 a month (I am not kidding) and so I took a job doing day care at the house of a Sgt. and his family. The first few days went okay and then the Sgt. came home for lunch unexpectedly. I had already fed the kids, but he was not there for them. I was sitting in the living room and he came and sat by me, and let me know in a manipulative creepy manner that IF I did not do what he wanted me to do, if I did not have sex with him, he would make sure Joel got in trouble. Joel was only an airman first class at the time and this guy was a Sgt. so he could have made things miserable for Joel. I got up and left the room, saying I had to go check on the kids. Soon after he stormed out into the kitchen and opened the cupboard, taking out a large can of cocoa. He proceeded to dump the cocoa all over the kitchen floor and then took a half gallon of milk out of the fridge and poured it all over the cocoa! Yeah, crazy. Then he told me to clean it up, slamming the door as he left the house. It appeared to be normal behavior to his kids as they were not surprised and showed no reaction to this stunt. After he was gone I proceeded to wipe up the mess on the floor.
I went home after work, told Joel what had happened and quit that day. I never said anything to anyone in authority, nor did Joel. We prayed the Sgt. would not attempt to get Joel into trouble, and he did not. You may think that the officer/enlisted stuff is not a big deal, but it was at the time. I remember one time when we were shopping in the grocery store and I had just picked up the last package of pork chops. A woman came over and grabbed it right out of my hands. She said, "I am a Colonial's wife and I want those." Alrighty, then......We just walked away. Yeah............
When I recalled that first story of the cocoa and milk, I wonder how those kids grew up. Certainly living in such a household had to have a negative affect on them. How awful! And I wondered about the many people in authority acting out of control and no one tries to stop them. Seriously, whether the authority comes with money, class, power, or more, it seems to suppress many of those who are being submitted to the bad behavior magnified maybe because they feel beneath those who are acting out. Maybe out of fear of reprisal. I would hope we would responded differently today to that Sgt. and his disgusting behavior.
And getting back to the story of the pitcher who cut up everyone's baseball shirts? He was given a suspension......How about a little counseling to go along with that?! Seriously. Is he married? Are his kids experiencing such behavior at home when he can't have his way?
Why in the world do we put up with such bad behavior from others? I don't have the answers, do you? Whatever the answers, and I expect there would be many, we need to stand firm in our faith, discerning with prayer how to respond to the bad behavior magnified that goes on around us.
This past Saturday night we listened to the last broadcast of "Prairie Home Companion" on public radio. Garrison Keillor has been producing this show for the past 42 years and we have been listening the majority of Saturday nights since 1983. As we got older we would have pancakes or waffles on those nights while listening to the tales told. We don't eat pancakes weekly anymore but we do still enjoy having pancakes periodically while listening to Keillor speak about Lake Woebegone, "where the women are strong, the men are good-looking, and the children are all above average." A place filled with a lot of Lutherans, church suppers, and faithful people with character.
The foundation for our faith comes from the Lutheran churches we were raised in. I like to say that Joel was raised with the Waltons in Lake Woebegone. If you are too young to remember the Waltons or are not familiar with Garrison Keillor and his stories of Lake Woebegone, do a google search and you will understand. Joel's family church, Aastad Lutheran, was less than a quarter mile from the farm he grew up on. He remembers fondly the church community, mowing the yard and graveyard as a kid, Lutifisk suppers, and all the fellowship that took place there during congregational gatherings. He credits his pastor with answering his many questions as he went through confirmation, a time to learn about and confirm his faith in God. He was between the ages of 6-8 when he started having dreams at night where he was preaching. God chose him at an early age to be a "proclaimer of God"~ which is what his name means. Prayers were prayed, the Bible was read, and their faith was lived out in their daily lives. It was a good place to live, with the Waltons in Lake Woebegone.
My foundation came a bit later in my childhood. My sister Jan took both of us to be baptized at the Lutheran church where we lived when I was around 6 and she was 17. We seldom went to church then, but when I moved in with my older sister Jo at age 12, St. Olaf Lutheran Church became a major part of my life. We always attended Sunday services, were involved in Sunday School, youth groups, Vacation Bible School, Lenten services, Bible studies, and served in the community surrounding us. I confirmed in my faith along with over 100 others when I was in 9th grade. My sister Jo worked at the church and it became like a second home, a very comfortable place for me. Joel and I met at the Lutheran Bible Institute in Golden Valley MN. This foundation of our faith has served us well.
Four and one half years ago, God opened up the doors of healing and more of Holy Spirit to us. It has taken us on a journey that has blessed us in so many ways. We really have had no desire to leave the Lutheran church where Joel has served as a minister for 36 years, but after being shaken and stirred, Holy Spirit has led us on a slightly different pathway. It has brought us to this time of transitioning. What we would love to have is a church that embraces and practices the gifts of the Spirit, healing as for all, and an openness and acceptance for what is alike about us all and what is different.
We did experience that at Gold Canyon Methodist Church in Gold Canyon AZ. It was great to hear the senior pastor embrace other denominations and tell the congregation that we have something to learn from each and every one of them. His illustration on this was so powerful that we were astonished by it.......and blessed. I think I shared it before, but felt it was worth repeating. Pastor Fred had everyone stand and then asked them to think about another denomination other than theirs but not say it aloud until the count of three. At three everyone said what they were thinking and we heard a variety of denominations named. Then he asked everyone to say at the count of three who all these denominations worshiped and believed for salvation. At three everyone said.............JESUS. Yes............Jesus. Many doctrines and traditions rise out of many denominations, but Who we worship and believe for salvation is only one. The One. Jesus. Pastor Fred went on to say that every denomination that had Jesus at the center had something to offer us as Christians. I remember him saying that the Catholics bring ritual, the Lutherans tradition, the Pentecostals, Holy Spirit, etc. etc. What do we have to offer?
This illustration has been held close to our hearts as we transition into who Christ has called us to be. I just love how He is guiding us. I don't necessarily like the stretching and shaping, or the pruning that is going on, but I love how God is guiding us as He prepares us for this "Senior Season" of our lives. I am so glad we went with my sister and BIL to the church they frequent while in Arizona. I am so grateful for what the pastor had to say. It confirmed what we have been thinking, and it certainly was from God.
Joel does not live in Lake Woebegone anymore. It was a good place to be, but we have traveled quite a bit since living there in 1968. I no longer think of St. Olaf Lutheran as my second home, either. We are not sure we belong in the Lutheran traditional church anymore nor are we comfortable out of it. We are not sure where we fit in yet as we journey along this bumpy pathway, but we do know that with Jesus in the forefront, all will be well. We have had many adventures with God leading the way, and this one also has a guaranteed outcome! The best is yet to come!
I have listened twice this week to a Sunday sermon on faith by Eric Johnson at Bethel Church. The Hebrews 11 faith we read about in the scriptures. During his teaching he asked this question ~ are we living our lives on cruise control?
When Joel and I went to a conference in CT in 2013 we quickly realized that even after spending our lives believing and serving, there was so much we still needed to learn about God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, faith, healing, and more. It is now 2016 and we are still in the process of learning more. It is a life long process. Some of what we have learned has come through sitting under the teachings of others, whether online, in church or in a book. Some of our learning has come through seeking God, and some has come as a result of circumstances and challenges that have caused us discouragement, confusion, and more. In Eric's sermon he said that when challenges from the enemy come into our lives, we need to ask God to "increase our faith". If we are feeling defeated, turn that around and use it as a motivator to move forward in our faith journey. And don't make continually living on "cruise control" an option. Increase our faith, Lord. As we learn, as we seek, as we face challenges.......increase our faith.
Eric's teaching reminded me of the book "The Prayer of Jabez" by Bruce Wilkerson. It has been around for many years but recently God brought it to light once again.. We were at my sister Jan and BIL Lanny's home in Mesa and Joel was looking for the magazine he kept in the bathroom. I had confiscated it to read for myself, so he picked up a small book on the back of the toilet. It was the book, "The Prayer of Jabez". He began to read it once again with new eyes and was so drawn in that when we got home he took it our copy off the bookshelf to read. We have been going through it here at home for devotions, while praying the prayer of Jabez on a daily basis.
"Oh that You would bless me indeed!
and enlarge my territory,
that you hand would be with me,
and You would keep me from evil
that I may not cause pain."
I Chronicles 4:9,10
This is a simple prayer that seeks God and desires to live beyond any limits. It is an insightful, deeply honest request from a Biblical character who is only mentioned once and who's name means "to cause pain". Jabez felt he was living a life on cruise control, and he wanted more. He was seeking more of God.
I believe we all have an inner desire to seek God. An inner desire to have a closer relationship with Him, on all levels. But life gets in the way. Fear gets in the way. I feel the need to repeat that one......fear gets in the way. False Evidence Appearing Real gets in the way. I think pastor Eric Johnson is right on when he says to use those challenges or difficulties as a motivator, asking God to increase our faith as we walk forward through life. No more cruise control! Increase! And like Jabaz we can pray.......Oh that you would bless me indeed!
I was listening to a woman speak in Bible study last Thursday morning when she began to quote a verse to go along with her thoughts.....it was Isaiah 60:1
"Arise and shine, for your light has come.
The glory of the Lord is upon you."
This was the 7th time I had gotten that verse in just a few days. God is definitely making a point and I definitely need to pay attention. The extra blessing came from the fact that just the night, before during the time of prayer in our Wednesday worship at church, this same woman had prophesied over Joel and I when we went up for prayer.
Let me first begin by saying that as soon as the lead pastor asked T. and her husband to come up and pray for others I felt in my spirit that Joel and I were to go to them to ask for prayers on what we had been seeing and hearing from God.. We were not disappointed. When she spoke words of knowledge over us, it confirmed what we had heard in our hearts. We came away saying "wow". Thank you Jesus! God often repeats what He wants us to hear through scriptures, books, people, and our own intuition. It is important to keep our ears open. our eyes focused and our hearts ready. II believe T. sharing the verse God has given me so often, is a confirmation from Him concerning what we heard from her. We are so humbled and grateful by His goodness.
Our journey with prophecy and speaking in tongues has been a short but amazing one. Just four years ago God started opening our hearts and minds to the "something more" He has for us. First came physical healing, then a new prayer language, followed by Holy Spirit encounters. Prophecy has slowly come to us both as a gift and a gift to give others.
Today I read a post on Facebook that shared what a professor at a seminary had to say about speaking in tongues, stating that these gifts were for those times, not now. They were no longer relevant for us today. I feel sad for those who don't believe the gifts of the Spirit are Biblical for today. As I have said before, it has taken us to an amazing place that we cannot go back from. It brings us so much joy and has deepened our relationship with Holy. The thing is, we are not unique because we have experienced healing, the prophetic, or because we speak in tongues. We are still Joel and Renee! Yes, for some who knew us before and are not comfortable with the changes, we are just, as a few have said, "west of weird". But this life is for everyone who desires it.
This same woman shared some of her life experiences at the Bible Study. She comes from a family where healing and deliverance was common. While speaking she said, "It may sound weird, but............." My reply to her was, "Oh we LIKE weird!" Weird is good as long as God is in the middle of it, and being west of weird works for me as long as I know it is from God. Certainly it is not weird to us, but, well, a place we belong. A part of me feels like I have come home to the familiar the past couple of years. And I know that in our search for roots, which I wrote about earlier, I cannot let go of this place I live, with the prophetic, speaking in tongues, and Holy Spirit encounters, and our deep desire to share what we have learned with others.
So, if you consider us your west of weird friends, we ask you to consider the "something more" God has for each of you, for each of us. Maybe you have already "been there, done that". Maybe you are further along the path than we are. It is a good place to be. We are still pretty new on this journey, and look forward to what else God has ahead for us, even if some think of us as west of weird. We like this kind of weird!
When we lived in the Philippine Islands, the heat and humidity made for fertile ground for infections to set in. Our daughter from the P.I. came to us with staph and it would come out on her body in the form of huge boils that were very contagious. It was always difficult to watch doctors lance those boils, drain them, and then stuff them with gauze. I had one and it was so painful I could not stop myself from yelling when they lanced it. And then our oldest daughter, Beth, who was nearly six at the time, got one in the corner of her eye. We could not imagine how painful it would be to have the doctors go after that one.
We took her in to the base hospital and turned her over to the doctors while we prayed and paced the floor in the waiting room. We expected her to be hurting, but when she came out she was calm and collected. We headed for home and finally my curiosity got the best of me and I asked her if it was really painful when they lanced the boil. Her reply? "Oh, no. It did not hurt at all. I just asked Jesus to keep it from hurting and He did."
A child's faith.....and God's response.
Another time we were heading to the base from Angeles City where we lived. On the way there our car died. It was just our oldest daughter and myself and getting stalled off the base was not the safest place to be. At that time we did not have cell phones, so we were on our own....with a long walk to the base or a long walk home, not being guaranteed our car would still be there when we returned! I tried to start the car. Nothing. Again....and nothing. Nor on the third try. Then on the fourth try it started up and purred like a kitten. I was surprised, but Bethany was not. Her statement to mommy? "I knew the car would start Mom, because I prayed about it.
A child's faith.......and God's response.
Beth was only four when she came home from Sunday School and told us that she knew she would go to Heaven when she died. I asked her why she believed that and she said, "Because I asked Jesus into my heart today!"
A child's faith.......and God's response.
These memories remind me of a story I read that was shared by Joyce Meyers. She was talking about prayer and that we do not have to pray long prayers to receive from God. She shared an example of a mom who was having a lot of stomach pain and was laying on the sofa. Her little boy knew she was hurting and he came over to her, put his hand on her tummy and said, "Mommy.....Owie.......Jesus." And her pain left.
A child's faith..........and God's response.
Lord, let us have the faith of a child. Trusting, expecting, and believing for Your response.
This morning I was listening to a teaching at Bethel Church in Redding. Havilah Cunnington was speaking. She has a strong anointing on her for the prophetic. Holy Spirit speaks to her about people and what He is doing in their lives. Usually the prophetic word or words of knowledge are a confirmation of what you already are hearing from God. Today I heard her say to those at church and online,
"You are in your final round of Jericho.
There is a breakthrough coming........"
A very generic statement right? She actually said more, but this is what I am sharing here because it resonated with me. Another reference to Jericho. One. more. time. Number 7. This is a powerful way that God speaks into our lives, through repetition, confirmation from others, and from His Word.
The seventh reference of Jericho was speaking of the seventh time Joshua walked around the walls of the city. Obeying God, Joshua and the army marched around the walls of the city with the priests and ark of covenant leading the way,. On the seventh day they marched around the walls seven times and on the seventh time they all gave a shout and the walls fell down and were destroyed. You can find the story in chapter 6 of the book of Joshua.
Seven is the number used for completion and perfection in the Bible. I believe that once again God was telling me that the radiation is the completion of this journey with breast cancer. The end is coming! Rejoice, shout praises, and the walls will crumble. I needed to hear this.
Seven is also a number for perfection. Another place in the Bible we hear of perfection is regarding God's love. His PERFECT love. In 1 John 4:18a we read, " There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear........"
A couple of weeks ago I laid hands on a woman and prayed for her. Her whole body shook in fear and it was evident in her eyes. Something she was dealing with was overwhelming her. Been there. In fact recently I have had fear try to take up residence. It is an old childhood "roommate" that I have kicked out of my life more than once. I have experienced freedom from fear when I received inner healing from sexual abuse and echos of my childhood, yet fear regarding breast cancer, endless doctors and procedures, and radiation was messing with me. Mostly a delayed reaction!
I don't know where you confront fear in your life, but I expect for most of you, there is one or more areas where the spirit of fear mentioned in Timothy comes calling. I believe Satan uses the spirit of fear often to attempt to weaken our faith. Some fear in certain circumstances is healthy, but most of the time it is not. We all deal with fear, but when it comes calling, we need to remember that God's perfect love casts it out. It takes effort to turn from what yells and listen for that still small loving Voice, but that is where we are going to find peace. I pray that young woman I spoke over is walking in peace knowing who has her situation covered.
God loves us too much to leave us where we are. He does not want fe r to be any part of our daily lives so each time it does arise we have an opportunity to turn it into a walk of faith. We can turn to Him in trust and believe that not matter what we are feeling, experiencing, or seeing, the power we have inside of us lets us live in victory when we walk by faith.
Several years ago, before I began my healing journey I belonged to an online email group of women who were all chronically ill. Dealing with MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivities), CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), Lyme and more. Most of us were looking for answers to improve our health. It was a good group, but when I began to experience healing in my body, I made the difficult decision to leave the group because I wanted to focus on healing and not on symptoms and sickness. For me that meant stepping away from their support and into the world of "God wants you well!"
Today I heard from a Louisiana friend in the group that another member had died in her sleep. She had been a scientist at one time but ended up very ill from chemical exposures. She lived mostly in isolation in Australia with the man she loved. She was a Buddhist. We used to email quite often, and also wrote a few letters back and forth. Even though she knew I was a Christian I never spoke to her about my faith, she never spoke about hers. I "respected" her decision to be a Buddhist and did talk to her about my faith. Until 2 months ago.
This group member who died emailed me two months ago to see how I was doing. I decided it was time to share with her our healing journeys and what Jesus has done for us. What he wants to do for everyone. I just want others to have what He has to offer. I was not pushy, but I shared openly about what we have learned about healing, about Jesus dying for sins and diseases, how he had miraculously healed Joel overnight. I shared about how much we love our Lord and Savior and that He has guided us our whole lives.
I never heard back from her.
And today I heard she has died. Oh, how it saddens me. I can only hope my words or someone else's had an impact on her life. I can only pray the Lord has mercy on her soul.
I confess in the past I have let my cowboy preacher do the preaching, but we are all called to preach the gospel (in word and deed). We are all called to heal the sick, cast out demons, raise the dead. Jesus gave us these instructions and we all need to take them seriously. It can be a matter of life or death. It is a matter of life or death for each one of us, isn't it.
As I remember my friend, I am giving praise today that I know Jesus as my Savior. I am so grateful for all I have learned and experienced with healing. I am so grateful for the Father's love. So, so grateful.
I was looking at a Facebook post recently, and the words, "Free-fall in Faith" caught my eye. It was a message from Dr. Brian Simmons, the author of the Passion Translation of the Bible. When I finished reading, I could not stop thinking about those four words...."free-fall in faith". So, I did what we all do when curious, and I googled it! Not much came up except for a story from Guideposts magazine that was about a woman who was afraid of heights. For her birthday one of her more daring sons surprised her with a special gift. Skydiving! When she told him she was afraid of heights, he said, "No you aren't." "You are just thinking yourself afraid. Trust God! She did, and took the leap from a plane, and the rest is as they say.....history. Certainly considering her sons words helped her step out of an airplane and literally "free-fall" in faith.
There is a Facebook page that I connect with that has as it's title, "I have a mustard seed and I am not afraid to use it". Oh, don't you just love that?! The Bible tells us that faith the size of a mustard seed is really all we need. And the facilitator of that page empowers the mustard seed size faith when she/he says, "I'm NOT afraid to use it!
Mom and Bethany
Yesterday was our oldest daughter's birthday. Happy Birthday Bethany. I remember when she was first married and living in Minnesota where she and her husband worked. I read in The Lutheran magazine about a job available at a large church in a Chicago suburb and I encouraged her to apply. She would be working with a well known woman in our denomination and I felt drawn to tell her about it. She did not want the job...did not want to move....but she felt The need to apply......after which they asked her to interview on the phone...she did...and then followed that up with an interview in person. They offered her the job!
Her husband Kevin needed a job in the company he was with in order for this to work out and it was a long shot, except that God was in the middle of it all and when he checked into the Chicago company, he got hired there! They spent 12 years in Chicago and have fond memories and close friends from that one step of faith. A free-fall in faith. God just loves it when we step out in faith and trust His plan.
Granted, we don't always understand His plan, but we can trust His love for us. There are times in our lives, of which I can think of more than a few, where we felt like we were literally free-falling and had to hang on to our faith, believing in His love to see us through. Even though it can be hardI would rather be free-falling in faith that walking on solid ground without my Savior. During those times when doubt or fear want to take up residence, we need to look back and remember. God is faithful. He does love us. He has a plan for good, and we can trust Him. Even when free-falling in faith......especially when free-falling in faith. Just remember, you have a mustard seed, and you are not afraid to use it.
A long time friend of ours died a week ago. Pastor Merv Olson was a man who lived life with gusto, a man who had a heart for the people of God and the Gospel. He was 77 years old and leaves behind his wife Joyce, and three children and their families.
In 1978, after two years of seminary Joel needed to go on Internship, spending his third of four years "out in the field" learning the skills of a pastor. We were a big family and there were only three places that could support a family of six. Malta Montana is the one we chose. Malta Parish consisted of 4 churches in 4 towns, plus summer worship in a hot springs resort area and services in the small mining village of Zortman located in the Little Rockies. We have never regretted the decision to sell our home and step out in faith, heading West. Our year in Malta shaped our lives in so many ways and so did Merv and his family. We still talk about the adventures we experienced, where we participated in cattle drives, branding cattle, rodeos, services in the little Rockies, and long drives to worship in the small northern Montana churches Joel was assigned. Often on those drives we would never meet another car, but only encounter eagles, antelope, and the best of nature. We can add to those adventures eight funerals in a little over 2 weeks, of which three were victims of crime when some evil men drove through the state trying to escape to Canada and murdered three people who lived in one of the very small towns Joel served. Joel had been preaching and teaching in churches over the years long before he was ordained, but he had never officiated at a funeral. He learned quickly during those two weeks.
Merv gave Joel the guidance and support he needed, while letting him know he trusted his abilities, and he never said no when Joel needed advice late at night while writing a sermon. He played a major role in Joel's seminary education and he even came to Minnesota to be a part of Joel's ordination service in 1980. We have remained friends with Merv and his family as we moved on and life took over. He even came to Minnesota to be a part of Joel's ordination service in 1980. There are people who impact our lives in a big way, and Merv was one.
Reflecting on Merv's death, we could not help but give thanks for this man and what he brought into our lives and the lives of countless others during his 50 years of ministry. We could not help but look back and remember all that we learned during our year in Malta Mt~~the people we met, the state we grew to love, the experiences that shaped our world. We count it all joy!
Since Joel and I began this latest adventure in faithful living, God has turned our world upside down. As most of you know by now, Joel was physically healed overnight. A microwave healing...instant! Joining in with the middle-of-the-night healing wake-up call from God was another surprise. As a solid traditional Lutheran Joel had told me more than once that he would not know what to do with the gift of speaking in tongues and had no desire to have it. God had other plans ~~~~Joel was also given a prayer language along with his healing, which spun him around 360. In fact, that night changed both our lives forever. My healing has been mostly crockpot style, but I eagerly welcomed and received the gift of a prayer language shortly after Joel. We wonder now how we ever lived without having this amazing spiritual gift and we are so grateful for where God has led us on our healing journey. For the two of us there was no going back. Two years and four months later there is still no going back. We love our life.
We also love to tell our story. That was evident again today when we went stove shopping. We ended up at Menards and while Joel finished up our purchase I went out to the car to wait. And wait..... and wait some more. After a text from me asking where he was....I received a two word reply. "Healing story." Okay then. It seems the clerk was hearing Joel's story and had questions for him. Before he left they prayed together. Right there in Menards. That would be my cowboy preacher husband. Sharing his story with the world. I was very annoyed as I waited in car, until he shared with me what I am sharing with you. He was doing what God calls us all to do. Speak of Him in our storytelling.
"I love to tell the story
Of unseen things above
Of Jesus and His glory
Of Jesus and His love." (old hymn)
I heard a pastor preaching today and his words affirmed for me why God likes us to tell our stories. You see, God loves being known and recognized by others as your God. And when you tell your story of how God has moved in your life, He is glorified and your faith is strengthened. Besides giving God glory and building our faith, it draws others to Him.
Joel's microwave healing is only a part of his story....of HIS story. My crockpot healing is just a part.....the gifts of the Holy Spirit and Holy Spirit "hugs" He blesses me with are only a part of our story. We have a long HIStory with our God and many stories we share.
Not everyone wants to hear our story. Not everyone believes our story. But in obedience we keep speaking about a God who heals. A God who loves. A God who desires a close relationship with us. A God who saves. We all have a story to share, and I believe God smiles when we voice it. He smiled today when Joel shared his story and HIS story with the clerk in Menards. He delights in hearing us tell our story. His story.
I am counting it all joy as I link up with Ann Voskamp today at A Holy Experience.
Stopping over a few days ago to visit Anita's blog, did you bring your camera? I was drawn to the words by John Piper that she posted.
This past week God has been instructing me in this, to acknowledge His glory and who He is. It seems every book I pick up or every teaching I tune in to online speaks of giving Him alone the glory, the honor and praise to the God who sees us, the great
I AM.
Last night Joel and I watched a teaching by Leif Hetland who spoke about the three chairs we live life from. Chair #1 he calls the Spiritual Life where we rest in the knowing. Chair #2 is the Soulish Life where we live by the senses, what we feel, see, taste, touch, and hear. A place of compromise. Chair #3 is the chair of the lost, who do not know Jesus. If you sit in chair #1 you are saved. If you sit in chair #2 you are saved. If you sit in chair #3 you are lost and need a Savior.
He went on to say that in Chair #2 we do what we do for God.....it is where most of us live life striving to be better, do better, live better, help others and please God to receive His blessings we read of in the Bible. In chair #1 we do what we do because the blessings come from God. It is in response to God, and what He has already done for us. A place of peace and deep joy. Oh, this is where I want to live and breathe. What struck me so deeply was that in chair #1 we rest. We rest in the knowing we have the answers to all our problems and needs. The answer is
I AM
We come to God with a disease.....His response is I AM the God who heals you. We come to God with a financial issue.....He says, I AM your Provider. If we are brokenhearted? I AM your Comforter. Are we feeling lonely? I AM El Roi, the God who sees you. Does fear run our lives? He says, I AM your protector, I will fight for you, just stay calm. Feeling lost? I AM is the God who saves you and goes back for even one lost of His sheep.
The Bible is filled with so many ways of defining who God is. So many promises meant just for you, for us. Lord we glorify You, the Answer to all our problems, all our needs. We give thanks and praise and honor and glory to
I AM
My friend Linny over at A Place Called Simplicity calls Him a miracle-working, mountain-moving, awe-inspiring, gasp-giving God! AND if our God, I AM, is a miracle working God who moves mountains, if He is awe inspiring and takes our breath way, THAT God has the answers to all our problems and we can rest (in chair #1) in the knowing that He loves us that much. How can we doing anything else besides speak of His glory! How can we help but make known the great promises waiting for the world! He is the great
I went into the garden of my heart a couple of days ago while meditating...and I immediately found myself in the ocean being tossed about by the waves and wind. In fear I cried out to Jesus, "Help me!" I heard Him say, "Stand up." As I stood on the ocean floor, I realized that the storm was still raging, but I was only in water up to my chest. My thought was, I have something firm to stand on. Once I stood upright I still had trouble standing, but Holy Spirit, Jesus, and Papa God all surrounded me and brought me back to shore.
Something firm to stand on.
Just yesterday Joel said he felt we needed to hang on to what we know to be true ~ go back to the beginning and our firm foundation. Jesus, our Savior. Jesus our Provider. Jesus our Healer. Our Comforter. Our Helper. Our Rock.
Standing is difficult. Literally, I mean. In a total crash. I am sofa material right now. A number of symptoms I do not care to list......physical, emotional, mental. What do I know as truth?
I have been in a desert place with my writing lately. More than once I have clicked on "new post" and started to write, only to find my mind a blank, or my words are sounding empty. I just have not had any inspiration or felt I had anything worth sharing. It took me awhile to realize that this has been right where God has placed me ~ in the desert, searching and reflecting on some important things that He wants to teach me. I am still in the middle of that place, but there is now a trickle of water that is starting to refresh my soul.
When I began this blog, I was going to use it to write articles like I did for a non-profit newsletter I published for over five years. I sent it out to around 140 Christians who were living with chronic illnesses. It was called, "The Encourager" and that was its purpose....to encourage and connect others who were mostly homebound and isolated. I loved all aspects of this, but I became reactive to inks and could no longer continue. Thus I started blogging. A precious gift in and of itself!
I made a decision to write this blog without centering it on my illness. My other blog, Renee's Reflections is where I share the ins and outs of Joel's and my journey with our health issues. It was challenging, but I put forth the effort to make this blog inspirational without connecting my journey to our adventures with chronic illness. What I ended up with, though, was a place where I felt limited and confined. A place where I was not totally being myself.
Somewhere there is coming forth a place where I can be true to myself without always focusing on our illnesses. A place that continues to feed my soul, encourage others, and glorify God. A place of balance. That needs to begin within me, and I don't feel balanced yet. For several reasons, I am still in a desert place, but of course I am not alone! God is with me, and He will lead me out of this wilderness just as He promises. For now, I wait in the desert, believing streams will flow once again.
Do you remember the song "Sunrise, Sunset" in the movie, Fiddler On The Roof? It is such a beautiful song! When our second oldest daughter was married, Joel officiated at the service and during the sermon his friend sang this song. There was not a dry eye in the church!
Sunset
This photo was taken from our front yard
~~~~~~~~~
"Sunrise, sunset,
Swiftly go the years
One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears"
I was thinking about this song today when I reminisced about our family gathering. How tall the grandkids are getting. How old they seem. No need for grandma and grandpa to have a high chair anymore. No one expecting. Our family certainly is growing as one season follows another.
~~
I also was giving thanks for this past year. Like everyone else, it has been laden with happiness and tears, and through it all God has walked with us. So many blessings to be grateful for.
~~
As the sun goes down on this day, and soon on another Christmas...and then another year, let us never forget the goodness of our Lord who wipes away our tears, and brings joy into our lives.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5,6
I wrote a post a few days ago for Spiritual Sundays that spoke about the mystery behind suffering, and the many comments I received gave me new insights into this topic and affirmed some of my own. The comment shared by my friend Dominique from "4 Walls and a View" gave me pause and an important piece to this puzzle I have been putting together.
I had been reading and talking to others about the many ideas surrounding the subject of suffering. Does God use our suffering? Is it sometimes part of His plan or assignment for us? Does God want every person to be healed and well? What are the causes behind suffering? Can we solve this mystery? Should we even try?
Dominique shared, "Maybe we were never meant to figure it all out. Maybe this is just part of our journey that is called faith." I had to chuckle when I read this. My practitioner tells me I like to have "all my ducks in a row". I do not like surprises and I like to have all pieces of the puzzle in place! Like that ever happens in real life! Dominique is soooo right.....we will never figure it all out. We are not meant to. God is God and we are not!
This journey of discovery I have been on has expanded and deepened my faith and helped me realize that I can find acceptance and comfort in living with all the mysteries of God. I know that God will use us as we are and where we are today. It is my desire to serve Him whether I am healed or not. It is not about me. It is about putting the spotlight on God...His glory....His desire to further His kingdom. Dominique's words helped remind me that I can trust God, and not lean on my own understanding. Trusting and leaning on God ~Not a bad place to be.
This past week I read a book by Charla Pereau entitled, "Charla's Children". It follows Charla and her husband's journey in founding an orphanage and mission center in Mexico and how God guided and directed them throughout this unique adventure in faithful living. It was very inspirational to read all the daily miracles that occurred when they lived by faith believing God would help them to fulfill His plan for their lives, and provide for the orphans. They have not been disappointed!
This book came to mind when I was reading a quote by Christian Psychiatrist, Paul Tournier,where he spoke about living in a climate of faith. These powerful words have taken up residence in my mind since I first read them. Tournier wrote that after years of working in therapy with people who struggle with a variety of problems, he has come to realize that a climate of faith provides a new perspective and opportunity for healing. This occurs, he says, when we rely on God's grace and love for His children instead of just human solutions. The Bible certainly tells us the same thing. Among other scriptures, Psalm 121 says it clearly. Where does our help come from? Our help comes from the Lord!
No matter the problem or the circumstances...big or small, God is in the details of our lives and with His deep love and abiding grace for His children and our willingness to live in a climate of faith ~ all will be well!
Join Charlotte and Ginger at Spiritual Sundays (www.bloggerspirit.blogspot.com) for inspirational posts or to share one with others. God bless.
Good Friday is a time to remember with great humility and appreciation what Jesus did for all of us. He suffered and died on a cross, carrying the weight of our sins upon His broken body.
