Leave Nothing Unsaid

Monday I read a story about a woman who wrote about the death of her father from Covid-19.  He had gone into the hospital for a problem that had come up, as easy fix, especially since her dad was a healthy 76 year old.  Just two days later he was diagnosed with Covid-19.  She believed he would make it through the virus, he was strong and healthy for his age....for any age.  But very quickly he ended up alone in the hospital, dying as the virus destroyed his lungs.  Even though she lived just a few minutes away, her only communication with him was when the nurse laid his phone on the pillow by his ear and she talked to him....even though he could not talk to her.  She talked for hours, and listened to him breathe for hours.  She set up a conference call with her siblings and they all spent hours talking to him about their good memories with the father they loved.  Eventually his breathing labored, but he hung on.   They finally took a break from their phone conference, and soon after he died.  In a hospital, alone while his family grieved their great loss.  Less than 10 people at the funeral as allowed, they buried the father they loved.

THIS is Covid-19 at it's worse and it is happening over and over again every day somewhere in America.  I could not help but shed tears reading her detailed story that began as emails to friends and family and eventually was posted on Facebook.  Tragic, painful, and so real and raw, just as death is.

Yesterday a sweet friend, Linny Saunders from Place Called Simplicity wrote on Facebook about the death of her mom from Covid-19. She was very open about it, and I am sharing only what she shared online.   Her heart is broken, like so many others as they are separated from those they love.  Linny was able to be on Face Time with her mom for two hours, saying everything she wanted to say to her....she left nothing unsaid.  Her mom could not respond, but did make enough sounds twice for Linny to know she was being heard.  From thousands of miles away Linny poured out her heart, telling her mom that she wanted her to stay on earth and come live with them, but if she wanted to go home to Jesus and the loved ones who have gone before her.....that was okay.  There is deep comfort in knowing where her mom is and Who welcomed her home, but the pain and sadness are real and we mourn with her the loss of her mom.

As a pastor, my husband has been by the bedside of many people as they took their last breath.  He has stood vigil with families, prayed with families, grieved with families.  We both stood with others by the bedside of my mom when she took her last breath.  Many of you have stood by the bedsides of those you love as they left this world and God welcomed them home.   With this monster Covid, I am not sure who it is more difficult for right now, the patient or the family.   This dying alone separated by a virus that has no boundaries and no mercy.  The isolation so palpable.   I believe both the victims and families can hold on to the hope that Jesus is with them in the hospital.  They are not alone as they appear.  Sometimes it is the nurses that are physically with them, but we also know that Jesus and His ministering angels are right there in the room.  It may not feel like it is enough for those who grieve, but it is something.  Something and Someone to hold on to as loss overwhelms.

Recently one governor told people to be sure to let your loved ones know how much you care about them....."leaving nothing unsaid."  During this unsettling time, I find that Joel and I discuss dying more.  What we would do if one of us gets Covid, and if God forbid we do and one of us ends up in the hospital, then what decisions will we make.  We hug each other more. We intentionally laugh more together.   We are more grateful for each day together..........even more so than when I battled cancer this past couple of years.  As a pastor and pastor's wife, as a 4 time survivor of cancer, as elderly who have lost loved ones in death, we understand it as much as we can I guess, and are grateful for each day we wake up to.  At least that is our intention.  We are trying to leave nothing unsaid............

And maybe that is one thing we can all do. One thing we can learn from this virus pandemic.   Put aside differences, grudges, fears, and what more?  Just leave nothing unsaid with those you love and care about.  Make things right with God, and then make things right with family and friends.  Because life is unsettling and unpredictable right now.  We hope for the future, we believe there will be a future, but we also live and breathe in the reality that we have just today.  Today we can reach out and leave nothing good unsaid.  It is a good way to live even when there is no destructive virus eating away at our country.  Let us leave nothing unsaid.