Thursday, February 27, 2014

Learning How To Live Free


This week Faith Barista's prompt was a question focusing on our faith journey......What are you learning about yourself?  My answer takes me back to the beginning, bring me into the present, and make room for the "something more" in my future!

After being sick 27 years with Lyme Disease and several co-infections, and spending 10 of those years housebound, I was healed by Jesus from the disease in March 2012.  Getting my body to recover and heal from other conditions such as chemical sensitivities, Lyme arthritis, and more has been a process, but I am seeing my health improve more every week.  I have also been set free from childhood abuse and PTS using Sozo Ministry and sweet Holy Spirit to guide me. 

For the first time in ten years I have been able to go visit our children and their families in their homes, attend church, shop in stores, and have people in our home without consequences to my heath.  Last October my husband Joel and I went on a long vacation for the first time since 1986. Thank you Jesus!  When God impressed on my heart to walk out my healing ~ literally ~ I could walk only 3 minutes without being exhausted, but now I walk 45 minutes nearly every day without fatigue setting in.  None of this was possible just 18 months ago.  I have been learning how to live free.

"It is for freedom that Christ set me free,
so I will stand firm then, and never again
be burdened by a yoke of slavery or bondage".
Galatians 5:1 (paraphrased)
The recovery of my health has been an amazing "only God" journey, but I would be remiss if I did not share what I am learning about myself through my relationship with Papa God.  His priority has been my relationship with Him.  Oh, I know He wants me whole and healthy, but He desires intimacy even more.   Saying yes to this "even more" has opened my heart to deeper healing and discovery
on a soul level.  A place of knowing more of God's love  and wanting others to know the depths of His love, too.

I learned that even though my faith was strong and I had great survival instincts and skills, I had trust issues.  I lived my life never feeling safe or secure, I lived my life on alert.  You cannot get much rest when you are always on alert to what might happen next.  It wearies the body and soul. 

Jesus says, "Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest...."  in Matthew 11.  We cannot rest in Him unless we trust Him, so in obedience I have been on a journey to discover more of His love.  Knowing how much God loves me has been the foundation for trusting Him, which results in saying yes to Jesus when He beckons....come...come....I will give you rest.   In entering that rest, I am finding freedom.  Freedom from a life on "alert", free to be who God created me to be, free to see myself as God sees me.  Knowing that even with my imperfections I am enough.  God delights in me.  This is really BIG.  Do we really get that?  God d.e.l.i.g.h.t.s in us.....in you...in me. 

I could say so much about what I am learning after 27 years of disease, 57 years of hidden childhood trauma revealed and released, and this continual journey into intimacy with Papa God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit.  I truly can't even describe it all, but experiencing it has let me begin to live free.  Free of disease, free of fear, free of PTS, free of self-condemnation or the condemnation of others.  ALL because of the Father's love, Jesus sacrifice, and Holy Spirit's empowering gifts.

It is for freedom I have been set free!


3 comments:

Cheri Gregory
(aka "Mrs. G")
said...

I love how you are learning to no longer live life "on alert" -- that's such an apt way to describe it! What an incredible testimony you have, and what an awesome "Papa God" we serve!

Sharon said...

Renee, your story inspires me, encourages me, reminds me that God is more powerful than any set of circumstances in life - whether He removes them, or enables me to overcome.

GOD BLESS!

Trudy said...

I am sooo happy for you, Renee. To be freed from physical and emotional struggles is such a blessing. I'm afraid I'm still too often on "alert." I love what you say concerning our intimacy with Papa God - "Saying yes to this "even more" has opened my heart to deeper healing and discovery on a soul level." Thank you, Renee.