Good Saturday morning to you on this cloudy day here in Iowa. We have had beautiful weather this week making it easy to have our windows and doors open. Pleasant temps and little humidity. Joel has been out biking and we have been doing some porch sitting. It is just to nice to be inside all the time. My yellow pansies are still blooming and so are our petunias and geraniums. Their bright colors cheer a person right up.
Speaking of cheering up. last weekend we went up north in Minnesota to attend our granddaughter's graduation party. We were able to spend time with three of our kids, a few grands, and many family members. It was so great to hug on everyone. So great to laugh together. So great to watch our family....one of my favorite things to do is just observe how well they do life. It was challenging for me physically, but not as hard as we thought it would be. We are so glad we could go!
Speaking of challenging, with my commitment to be fully honest here, the pain continues. Three words that seem to try to consume my life. The pain continues. It has been at a 4-5 but the last three days has gone up to 7-8, once again waking me around 4 or 5 am. Again, just being honest, this increased pain has also increased my anxiety and low energy. And I expect some of that is knowing that this coming Tuesday I will spend the whole day in Rochester getting fitted for a prosthetic eye. Four appointments ending with a artificial eye being put in. I should be excited for this but I am anxious for how the damaged nerve will react to it. As I have said before, I have lived for decades with Lyme damage (pain) and did fine managing it. This ophthalmic/trigeminal nerve pain? It has me in a wrestling hold that I can't get out of. The MRI tests are not until July ( busy time for them?) so the wait continues for treatment. I don't know if I need to continue to write much about this. The bottom line is, my life has changed lagain and some days are good and some are bad and even a few are ugly. I expect a pain medication is in my future ....................unless...............until.............
And this is where we stand on the unless.....which we are declaring is an until..................
Until God comes through with the promises I received two weeks ago from Julie Meyer, the woman I have never met who had words to share with me from God. So personal..........so spot on in some areas..........a promise for breakthrough. A Matthew 7 command to keep asking.........seeking.....knocking. A promise for joy replacing tears.........I am holding on to these promises. Sometimes, I confess, by a thread, but I am holding on. Holding on to God and HIS promises. Cuz....I'm still here.
Speaking of still here, I have questioned the reason at times .....I know there is a book I feel I am to write, and I was on chapter three of this book titled "Adventures In Faithful Living" when I lost the vision in my left eye. My right eye is seeing through beige dry macular degeneration, with strange images and when I look at a white computer screen my vision blurs in and out...yep. it's challenging but I do Saturday's Scribbles so feel I can do this book one day at a time....for a few minutes, etc. I am putting it "out there" in the public so as to motivate myself. Anyway, below is a picture that shows what I am seeing through....or at least similarly. If it is bright out then the swirls are brighter.....if it is dark, darker. But always there. Always. The retina Dr. says my brain is trying to stimulate itself from losing my vision in my good eye, and creating things that are not there. There's a name for it. Okay then. So, next week I am stepping out in faith and into writing a book to self publish in the future. So many stories to share that reveal how God has woven his way into our lives.
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