Sunday, March 1, 2009

Grace vs Grief, Grudges, and Guilt

Today I watched Rick Warren at Saddleback Church on my laptop and he talked about forgiveness..I thought I did pretty well with forgiving others and moving on with the people in my life....and then he asked us to think about what people come up in our minds when he asked certain questions.

Like: "What memory do you have that continues to hurt you, and is it connected to another person?" "Is there anyone you blame your problems or unhappiness on?" Or: Who is the 1st person to come to mind when I ask the question, "What is the greatest hurt in your life?" Is there anyone you tend to keep score with...tit for tat....he hurt me first type of thing....And "Do you react negatively to someone because they remind you of someone else?
He brought up grief and sadness over a broken relationship, holding grudges against others, and feeling guilty about our own actions. This is where I had to take a good long look at my own inner self. I had to ask myself whether I was holding resentment towards someone else and was some of my sadness in a certain relationship due to feelings of rejection and lost expectations. I have always known that resentment makes us bitter and unhappy. It is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. Guilt is a no brainer for me...lots of guilt ~ some real and most a figment of my imagination. I discovered I had some work to do to get to a place of letting go and letting God in certain areas of my life. I desire to come to a place of complete healing through grace.
So I ask you if you have any hidden resentments, grief, anger, or guilt that is holding you back from the pureness of God's love, forgiveness and grace? His amazing grace!!!! Maybe you want to ask the same questions that are listed above, write down or think about your answers and nail them to the cross of Jesus who died for us all. Maybe you want to let go and let God in your relationships and with yourself. Grace is a healing place .....a good place to be.


Jan Lyn said...

This is a complicated topic and a healthy read. A lack of forgiveness or bitterness usually hurts us even more than the ones we blame. I find as a human forgiveness does not mean that we will forget all, but is a good indication to be careful not to hold onto blame, nurse my wounds and continue to count it all against others. It's not easy, and I find that it feels great to let go of things, forgive and move on, but often I realize forgiveness is not a one time process and a indicator of how I should love or set boundries the next time....? Thanks for this read, it spoke to me.

Renee said...

Jan Lyn
You bring up a very important aspect of forgiveness ~ that often when we are trying to let go of something or forgive someone and move on it is a process. Not a one time deal.
Glad this spoke to you, Jan Lyn...your mention of it being a process spoke to me as a great reminder for myself.

BoufMom9 said...

This is a fantastic post! Really got me thinking and honestly, up until Tuesday died, there was a friend of mine that was holding a grudge with me and I just couldn't get past it. Since she died, i have finally just let her go and it's amazng the peace I feel.

Renee said...

So glad that you were able to do that, Debi. I am working on that with someone very close to me and who I felt hurt by. It is a process for me but I feel less upset about it each time i turn it over. Sometimes I ask myself, WHY are you hanging on to this hurt? Do you feel justified to do so??? Or are you getting something from it somehow?
When I have let go of grudges it does feel freeing and peaceful doesn't it.
Again, you are in my prayers with the death of your friend's child Tuesday. So very sad for them and so many others.