Another giant surfaced and was slain for me today. At my yearly exam last week the doctor suggested I be checked by a dermatologist for an autoimmune skin disorder. I got in right away on a cancellation and went the next morning. To my surprise she took two biopsies as I lay in that awkward position that only women understand. One to see what kind of skin disorder I was dealing with and the other to see if one spot was skin cancer. The doctor's demeanor, concern and actions were hard to ignore. The word cancer sounded so loud and ugly.
I just kept thinking, "not again....not again." Throughout the week I made an effort to keep my eyes on Jesus, with worship songs and promises. I listened to the recording of the prophetic words spoken to us at Bethel, over and over. I reminded myself of God's faithfulness throughout the days. There were moments when fear still wanted to rise up and take my breath away as it brought to mind worst case scenarios.
So hearing from the doctor today, 4 days early, that it was NOT cancer....that it was benign......brought both physical and emotional relief. A giant of what if's was taken down.
I have never doubted God's faithfulness. I have countless memories of Him walking with me, with us through trials. We have faced plenty of giants in our 49 years together. I just could not muster up the courage to face one more. And the waiting was so hard.
A song from Bethel music kept coming to mind..........."He's in the waiting......He's in the waiting."
In the waiting, I gave thanks for all the good reports last week....mammogram clear, eyes good ~ pressure down lower and visual test improved. Blood work good, melanoma check good! Yeah, lots of doctor appointments. In the waiting I remembered the victories in Him. It helped keep the giant from looking so powerful.
Joyce Meyer spoke in her devotional today about how David killed the giant, Goliath. In 1 Samuel David talked about the Lord delivering him from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear. He knew he would deliver him from the hand of Goliath too. He looked back at the faithfulness of God and remembered.
Max Lucado wrote about David and Goliath in his book, "Facing Your Giants". A study we are doing for our group also is talking about David. He so often praised God for showing up in his life. Lucado says: "Focus on your giants and you stumble. Focus on God~ your giants tumble."
While I lay in that awkward position that day I was truthfully numb with fear. Too many biopsies and too many surgeries were on my mind. What I needed to remember was the many victories through Jesus! And, as strange as it sounds, it came to me during this procedure, that it was time to write the book.
Holy had been speaking to me over the past two years to write a book. I asked Him what I would write about and why? Why? God spoke clearly to me about Joshua's story of building an altar after the Jordan river stopped flowing and they were able to walk into the promised land. The altar was to be a reminder of God's faithfulness. Holy told me that each story I write will be part of the altar built to God's faithfulness. A legacy for our grandchildren and great grands to come. I still put it off............until last Tuesday night when I made the choice to walk in obedience.
We all have giants we face, whether in body, soul, or spirit. We never face them alone, but sometimes that giant seems so big, and never so much as when we are waiting.....for a breakthrough...for a test result....for financial help.....for healing. It is during these times that we make the effort to remember His faithfulness. Like the song says..........we are never alone ~ He's in the waiting!