Monday, September 13, 2010

Memorial Box Monday: Winning The Battle

What I am sharing for Memorial Box Monday just happened today. It may seem insignificant to some, but not to me. It is God's way of letting me know I am not fighting my battle with Lyme Disease alone. I often feel like I am in a war and never sure who is "winning". Today God assured me the victory is His.

The past two months have been very difficult with nerve pain so intense that there have been times I have asked God to either heal me or let me die. My hair has been falling out, fluid has been forming pockets in my lower legs, headaches have been intense at times, I broke out in sores all over my chest, arms, and back that are still visible 5 weeks later, my body has continual tremors, and the all over neuropathy has caused even clothing to feel raw on my skin. This has all been from die off of Lyme and Bartonella bacteria in my body. Nasty stuff.

I need to go back and say that I did not call my Lyme Doctor when all this was going on, I just assumed I needed to tough it out and get to the other side where things would get better. I chose to go it alone.

On my way to my 3 month Lyme appointment today I found myself very anxious, not knowing what was ahead. I have felt so exhausted from fighting this enemy within for the past 3 years, especially after going through cancer surgery this past spring. My husband also has Lyme disease and is on part time disablility because of it.
I brought our devotion books along on the 3 hour ride, and when I opened the Daily Guidepost to today's devotional, this verse was at the top of the page.

"Don't be afraid of your enemies, always be courageous, and this will prove to them that they will lose, and that you will win. because it is God who gives you the victory."

Philippians 1:28

As soon as I read this verse, tears filled my eyes and peace filled my soul. God was telling me not to be afraid of the Lyme and what it could do to my body. He reassured me that I do not need to fight this battle alone...that I cannot fight it alone.....but I CAN win because God is going to give me victory. He has provided us with the best doctor ever, who as a Christian brings God into her practice on a daily basis. She has survived both cancer and Lyme herself just like me, and she has deep concern for her patients.

Today my Lyme doctor told me I was fighting too hard on my own. That we could win this as a team, with a little patience, a lot less medication, and a lot less intense die off. The relief I feel is palpable. She gently reminded me that she is there for me and not to wait to get help next time. God reminded me that she is using her gifts to help her patients and I need to let her!
This is not the first time God has had to remind me that I need to trust Him and surrender to His plan for my life. It is not the first time that He has reminded me that the victory is His in defeating the enemies we face ~ whatever they may be. He brought me through cancer surgery and He will walk with me through this too. I don't have to do this alone ~ He has provided so many people to help me win this battle.....and the victory will be His. He reminded me that I have already won the victory through with when His son died for my sins.
I think I will put a written copy of this verse in my Memorial Box along with a little toy soldier to remind me that the victory is the Lord's.

Stop over and visit Linny at to read other Memorial Box Monday stories of God's faithfulness or link up your own.


Mom Of Many said...

What a wonderful story of God's deep love for His own: reminding us of His care and concern and provision....

We have been praying for you...we just redid our prayer bulletin board, but if you come take a peek you will see your name at the very top of the bright green paper...and we do pray for you!!
I will add all the symptoms that you mentioned today asking Jesus to completely heal them all. The battle, indeed, is the Lords. Love you sweet friend. xo

The Spicer Family said...

Renee, that is a beautiful story! I love the gentle way your Father spoke His love into your heart and then confirmed it through your doctor.


Susan A said...

hi Renee, I am sorry that you are going through a hard time with Lyme's disease.

Just today I read a verse which encouraged me, and I thought I might share it with you.

It's in 2 Chronicles 20:17

Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the LORD with you, O Judah and Jerusalem: fear not, nor be dismayed; to morrow go out against them: for the LORD will be with you.

the key is to praise Him, and He will take care of the rest:

2Ch 20:21,22

And when he had consulted with the people, he appointed singers unto the LORD, and that should praise the beauty of holiness, as they went out before the army, and to say, Praise the LORD; for his mercy endureth for ever.
And when they began to sing and to praise, the LORD set ambushments against the children of Ammon, Moab, and mount Seir, which were come against Judah; and they were smitten.

Wish that there is something that I can do to comfort you.