Monday, February 25, 2013

Jesus, Take The Wheel

Last night we spent the supper hour at our local urgent care.  I came home with a "powerful antibiotic" and a mix of emotions.  Taking a medication that could cause me as many symptoms as it promises to take away was not part of my plan.  But here I am.

Let me back up three weeks...or maybe a year?  Three weeks ago I started to have symptoms of a UTI.  Watching a live stream at a healing school gave me a word of knowledge for "someone healing from a badder infection" and I claimed that for myself.  By the next day the symptoms were gone. Yippee!  Then the middle of last week they started to return and no matter how much I spoke scriptures, prayed, or commanded the body, they continued to get worse.  Friday the cramping started and by Sunday morning I was asking God  "why" and what to do.  Bear with me, this shared drama has a point.

Two verses came to me as I prayed.  Out of Proverbs 3,   "Trust in The Lord with all your heart........"and my trusty sidekick appeared again....Matthew 11:28-30~ "Come to me all who are weary....."  Late Sunday afternoon Joel and I prayed and waited for the Holy Spirit to speak.  Joel said to me, "We'll, I have been told something strange.  You are to walk to the river and back!"  Hmmmm. Okay, then. In obedience we went walking.  Soon after we returned I went in to the bathroom.  When I came out I told Joel I was seeing bright red.  Lots of bright red.  He said to me, " That is our answer.  I am taking you to urgent care."  Off we went and here I am. This was not the plan.  My plan.   But then, we did ask Jesus to "take the wheel" didn't we.

Jesus definitely directed me to use medication to heal the UTI. I wanted healing through prayer only.  Notice the words..."I wanted"..... I have been focused on one goal the past year~healing...supernatural healing.  Some healing has come that way, other things I am still waiting for.  Some things the body has taken care of and some things, like this infection are healing from medication.  It is not for me to decide the "how" of my healing or the "when".  It is not about me.  Jesus, take the wheel.......

Often Joel and I hear from others that sometimes God heals and sometimes He doesn't.  I have this visual of God picking and choosing which of His children to bring out of disease and each one eagerly hopes that God will hear their quiet internal voice saying......"pick me, pick me!"  Can you imagine only taking one of your children to the doctor for help...picking just one to be healed....and ignoring the others.  Is that a loving parent?  I don't think so.  If God decides who is to die today and who is not, why go to the doctor at all?  Why fight to live?  Wouldn't we be going against God's wishes?

God sent His son to die a terrible death on the cross for our sins and our diseases.  He does not send disease or tragedy.  We live in a fallen world where the devil goes after us, not God.  The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy.  Not God.  I have few answers. I don't know why everyone is not healed.  I don't know why Joel was healed overnight and I was not.  I don't know why I need to take antibiotics rather than be healed by the power of God.  I do know....oh yes I know with my whole being that Father God loves us all.   I do know His plan is always best and we can trust Him.  I have few answers, but I do have His promises.  Oh, Jesus, take the wheel.

"For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord,
plans for good and not for evil. 
Plans to give you a future and a hope."
Jeremiah 29:11


Pia said...

love this post renee. this spoke to me because i'm also praying for healing. this answered some of my "silent" questions. i can also relate when you said "i wanted..." yeah, i wanted supernatural healing too. but God has been healing me one at a time. and yes, it's not about me but all about Him.

"Can you imagine only taking one of your children to the doctor for help...picking just one to be healed....and ignoring the others. Is that a loving parent?" --- this made a lot of sense. certainly Jesus wouldn't do that to us. He wanted us all healed but yes, how and when is not our concern... it's not about us.

Jesus, take the wheel... AMEN!!!

Kim said...

Renee... Hugs. You know I'm praying for you. This does sound awful, and I wish you weren't going through it. I don't have any answers either. In my case, God has used lots of medication to heal me, but He's also spared me from undergoing certain procedures and treatments that I did not want to go through. I am not Him (His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts, so I know He's smarter than I'll ever be), but sometimes I wonder if He chose to walk me through years of treatment, because He knew it was one of the things I never wanted. I had to learn to trust Him. It scares me to write that, because I know there are things I'm still scared of very much and are holding back in some ways. I realized while writing this that I need to talk to God about those things and place them in His hands. I hope that you are feeling better soon. Please keep me posted.