The More

It all began innocently enough.  She sat on her sofa searching for worship music on her laptop. Scrolling down the many videos available her eyes stopped on one by Heidi Baker and Ruth Fazel.  As she touched the keyboard the most beautiful music filled her ears.  Worship music to Jesus,,, soft, mellow, and so so intimate in ways she did not yet understand.

As she stood alone in her living room and sang along, she reached her arms skyward and asked for "more" from Holy Spirit.  More of the Presence in the room, in her body, in her heart.  It began slowly.  A gentle heaviness descended upon her making her move involuntarily.  Soon it was hard to stand so she sat and then it was hard to sit upright so she laid down, letting the Presence of God cover her like an heavy blanket.  A warmth filled her....a peace and sense of contentment and deep love that she longed to hold tightly to.

When this living, breathing blanket came, the Presence moved in.  As days passed there were times her husband needed to help her get around the house, as she continued to be under the Presence of God.  The encounter was at times frightening while at the same time so powerful she did not want it to end.  It was at times confusing while at the same time filled with clarity.  She was experiencing what she did not yet have words for, but knowing it was from God, she surrendered to His will.  Through the encounter, He began the process of the healing she longed for.

Four years later it continues to be difficult for her to describe what occurred during those weeks, as she daily opened her eyes to the glory.  His presence.  Time seemed suspended, yet went by so quickly.  The season of encounter was so intimate, so revealing, so healing as The Presence ebbed and flowed in intensity. doing a graceful dance in her, upon her.  She did not want to live or breathe without it, but slowly the Heavy Blanket subsided and eventually routines returned.  But not to normal.  Nothing could ever go back to what was.  With each sunrise she felt God was with her, but in remembering she could only seek more, ask for more, receive with open arms the More.