Monday, July 21, 2014

Letting Go Of Our Yes For God's No

"There is no yield in our lives
until we yield our yes to the Lord"
Ann Voskamp

This past April we made plans to go to a healing conference out in Colorado that was scheduled for mid August.  We were so excited!  The ministry that was holding the conference is one I listen to on nearly a daily basis.  Along with speakers every night, we were going to spend 5 days going through their class on healing, then putting the teachings into practice.  It sounded great so we signed up, making hotel reservations near the college in a place with a great view of Pike's Peak.  When Joel interviewed for an Interim position he let them know we would be gone for two weeks in August. We made all the plans to go, and hoped to see our grandson Eli and some old friends while traveling.

And then we prayed.

We prayed, believing God would bless this latest adventure in healing.  How could He not?! He had sent us to another conference last October so we assumed He would want us to go to this one too!  We spent a couple of weeks praying and meditating and to our dismay, both of us strongly felt God say no.  No?  We struggled with that no, and prayed again.  And again.  Consistently we felt we heard a strong no. 

We decided that maybe we were to attend another conference that was going on at the same time in Florida....yes, maybe we were to go there.  Nada.  Another no.  When Joel's mentor and our friend Merv died we found out they were having a memorial service at Yellowstone mid August.  The celebration of life was at the Mammoth chapel at the same time as the two conferences, so we felt maybe this was the answer to why God was saying no.  With prayer and determination we tried to work it out, but to no avail.  We felt we had to say no.  Another disappointment.

So, when I read Ann's quote above, it spoke to my questioning soul.  Giving our "yes" to God is really a matter of trust.....and obedience.  Sometimes obedience is not fun.

When, out of obedience to God,  I drank from a natural Spring in Indiana last Fall, I was nervous about it.  What ifs kept coming up, but I drank, and the results of that have been 9 months free from the continual UTI's I was plagued with.  Was it the water?  No.  A dear friend heard from Holy Spirit I was to drink from a natural was so strange she did not want to tell me, but HS kept after her until she did.  We took it very serious and with God's guidance found an Amish spring to drink from.  The healing was the result of doing what God told me to do.   We get that.

We don't get why going to a conference where we would soak in His Word and learn more about His gift of healing is a firm "no".  But we are staying home from conferences, from our friend's service, from the 6 different things we had opportunities to do that week in August because we are yielding our yes to Him.  I don't pretend to like it or understand.  We just believe that He knows what is best for us.

The first time I left home after 10 years of being housebound, we prayed and prayed about the journey.  It was a step of faith.  Joel heard these words as he worried about the trip.  "She needs to go.  I will be her place of safety."  Out of obedience we went.  And then out of obedience last October we went on a two week trip to a healing conference in CT that change lives forever.  This August out of obedience we are staying home from another healing conference that we felt would change our lives.  Letting go of our yes because God said no.  We can trust Him.

I just read on one of my blog posts from two years ago these words.  "Radical obedience is doing what God says, obeying Him when it does not make sense."  Maybe this is not on the scale of radical, but it definitely does not make sense to us in the natural world.  I am sure that somewhere down the road we will look back and see how God worked this into His plan for our livcs.  For now we wait, letting go of our yes for God's no.

1 comment:

Sharon said...

The hardest thing to do in life is letting go. Letting go of our children, our dreams, our plans - our very lives. It is especially hard to let go when we think God would be so happy and pleased if we did such and such. However, it is then when we learn what it truly means to die to self. The cost of discipleship is high, but the cost to do our own thing is higher.

How often we miss out on blessing when we don't obey His "no" - how often we miss out on blessing when we don't obey His "yes."

Let's listen closely, and do what He says. For He knows best - Fathers are like that...