It Is A Mystery

I have shared the story of how Joel and I were "prayed together" by my older sister who helped raise me and our family friend Marian who worked at our church.  They came up for parents weekend in the fall of my first year at The Lutheran Bible Institute in Golden Valley, MN and while touring the dorms they met Joel.  They told me a couple of hours later that they had "met the man you are going to marry".  I was 18 and coming out of a relationship that had hurt my heart, and I wanted nothing to do with guys.  But they said, "He wants to be a missionary, just like you and we can just see the two of you in a hut in Africa!"  When they pointed Joel out to me, I was surprised, exclaiming, "He is loud, obnoxious and he wears boots!"  They replied, "We will pray about it."  Three months later we went on our first date and we married 18 months after that.

Joel was introduced to the mission field through his second cousin, Rev. David Simonson who was a missionary in Tanzania with his wife Eunice.  He really wanted to combine a life of adventure with his desire to share the gospel and Africa was at the top of his list. When I was 13 I can remember studying the bulletin board at our church and reading about the missionaries we supported....the Grants, with their five boys, who served in Brazil.  (Many years later God connected us to one of the boys, David, who with his wife Deb became our friends!)  I would think about what it would be like to be missionaries in a foreign country.

So, when Joel and I joined as one, the mission field was a dream we had for our future.  As Joel served in the military eight years, then went to seminary and was ordained, we raised our family.  We still talked of the mission field even as Montana beckoned us and our family grew.  In the eighties we looked into the mission field, but we were told by the powers that be that our multi-racial family would be a hardship at that time on the mission field.  We also did some serious talking about our kids having to go to boarding schools if we were in Africa.  Having attended LBI, we knew some missionary kids quite well, and several had gone through tough times leaving their parents and living in boarding schools.  We did not want that for our kids and did not believe that is what God wanted either.  So we stayed stateside, believing that God had closed the door, but that some day we would head out to do mission work......once our family was grown and gone from the nest.

Then sickness became a way of life for me and that dream faded.  It still had it's hooks into us deeply, and over the years we would periodically revisit the grief we felt for never having fulfilled that dream that we believed was from God.

Today I read on Facebook about Operation Bootstrap Africa ( David and Eunice's ministry) presenting a plaque to be placed at the Maasai school for girls that they founded.  It was being placed in David's memory.  He died at the age of 80, after serving as a missionary with Eunice for over 50 years.  He was and is still so beloved by the Maasai that they honored them with land and their home and his burial place overlook Mt. Kilimanjaro.  Their three sons run a Safari sightseeing business in the area.  Their two girls are stateside and Eunice lives in their home in Africa.

So, was our dream inspired by God?  It would not be the first time we strongly felt God lead us somewhere only to have the door closed later.   Whether we closed the door (with not wanting our kids in boarding schools) or whether God closed the door, it closed.  There is mystery wrapped up in it all.  Our mission field has really been mostly just "preaching to the choir".  Those who already know and believe.  It has taken place on American soil in such places like Montana, Minnesota and Iowa.  Certainly not as adventurous as we imagined!  And yet, I know that Joel has touched the lives of so many as they have let me know over the years.

Back to dreams and desires.  I remember a few years ago I told Joel I thought he should go to Africa to see David, visit his ministry and see the places that have always drawn us.  He told me, "I can't go.  I am afraid if I go.......I won't want to come back."  Yes, the dream runs deep within.  We have done what we could to further missions in Africa from our home in the USA knowing that missionaries need our support.

We believe that God works all things together for good to those who love him.   He has blessed our lives in so many ways over the years.  He has blessed Joel's ministry and the years of serving.  I believe He used Joel and hopefully me, to help others know Christ, and have a close relationship with our Lord.  I expect that one day, when we get to Heaven we will have questions about this unfulfilled dream that has held a piece of our hearts for so many years.   For now it is a mystery and we work hard to put it to rest and live our lives here.......in the good ol' USA..... trusting that God is guiding our journey as He always has.