I am now being challenged by a nasty flare up of my Lyme Disease and CFS/ME as a result of the surgery. Being on the sofa or in bed 20 hrs a day has been difficult. But more of a challenge has been my effort to resist accepting my "life after cancer" I know it is a process, just like my body's recovery, but I have used a lot of my limited energy to keep my feelings stored behind a locked door in my mind. This week I finally was able to open that door, come out from under my wool comforter(affectionately named Woolie) and attempt to deal with my new reality. The great news is, I don't have to do this alone. God has promised to always be with me. God has promised to be with all of us. In Isaiah 41:10 (NLT) we read:
Today's email devotional by Rick Warren spoke of surrendering to God and what that means. Resistance, surrender, acceptance ~ these are all words that are swirling around in my head and heart right now. I saw an image of a small child who squirms in her father's arms, wanting to get down and be on her way when the father only wants to protect his child. I saw myself doing the same thing. Do you ever find yourself resisting God? God is willing to hold us in His loving arms, protecting, and guiding our journey ~ but I seem to be resisting and squirming, determined to do things my way. The difference is I am old enough to know that my Father wants what is best for me, when often a small child does not. It is just so hard to let go of our own will, isn't it!
I have a lot to learn in this life after cancer and I HAVE that privilege, but first I need to cease resisting where I find myself, surrender and accept God's plan, and focus on all the goodness that has come from this journey. It is a journey we all take at different times in our lives for many different reasons, but we are all blessed to have God's promise to walk with us along the way.
For more inspirational posts visit Charlotte and Ginger at Spiritual Sundays. http://www.bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/