Thursday, August 23, 2012
Conversations In The Garden: Overcoming
Spending time with Jesus in the garden of my heart continues to be very healing, and writing about these adventures is an important part of my journey. Once again this week my time with Jesus turned to the childhood abuse. Evidently, there was more I needed to hear.
Jesus and I walked up the path until we came to the large boulder. The boulder still had the crack from top to bottom with a stream running through it that continued down the hillside to the garden meadow below. I noticed that the stream was wider now. There were flowers growing on either side and around the boulder, making it look like a different place than before. This time there was a way around the big rock, and I actually walked to the back of it where I was able to easily climb up on top. From there I had a beautiful view and spent some time looking around. In some strange way I felt comfortable there, and then Jesus asked me an important question. " Are you going to stay up there?"
I looked around and thought about this new indentity. I had not only survived years of Lyme Disease, CFS, and MCS, but I had survived cancer. Now I was a survivor of sexual abuse. I was good at surviving, but was being a survivor enough?
I looked at Jesus and replied "no" to his question. I did not want to stay there. I took His hand and jumped down, ready to move forward. For so many years I only saw myself as a person with a dibilitating illness, and it was a heavy burden that I carried around. I did not want to think of myself anymore as a survivor, but as an overcomer. With God's help that is what I would be.
Sometimes we get comfortable where we are at because we have been there so long, and change is hard. At least the place we find ourselves is familiar, and fear can hold us captive to what we know. But God loves us too much to leave us in the midst of our circumstances. He wants us to continue to grow to be more Christ-like,, and that often means embracing change. It most definitely means trusting God as we take a step of faith into the unknown. It is not always easy, as the only way out is through, but we are never alone. Never.