After watching Pastor Greg Mohr's teaching on the heart yesterday at Charis Bible College Healing School, I woke up today asking God to reveal to me anything in my heart that needs changing. Soon after I read two blog posts that both spoke about....yes~~our hearts. Only God.
I find that I don't write as often as I would like to about what's in my heart regarding my beliefs on healing. I like to avoid conflict. I like everyone to be happy within themselves and with me. And I confess, I don't like looking foolish. After all, I am not exactly the poster child for Gods healing power. Right now in my family that belongs to Joel with his obvious overnight physical healing from many conditions and diseases. My healing has been slow and not so steady with challenges interwoven in. I have seen great progress while at the same time I am not "there" yet.
This morning God spoke to me through Bonnie Gray's words, "I cannot outrun my heart". Bonnie writes about her story with PTSD and her recovery from childhood trauma. Her first book will be out soon. Outrunning our heart? We cannot, even though we try. What is in our hearts permeates our body, soul, and spirit. I believe our whole being cries out for healing including our hearts.
Then I read a post by Holly Garth. She was a guest blogger over at Ann Voscamp's cyber home. Her words about looking foolish resonated. "Sometimes looking like a fool comes with the territory of God-sized dreams." Holly shared David's story of when he danced as the Ark of God came into Jerusalem. His wife was critical of how foolish he looked....but David was not worried. He was rejoicing and praising His God.
Oh, Lord, I am so sorry I worry about pleasing people more than I hunger to please you. Thank you for revealing this part of my heart to me today.
Recently I shared one short statement on Facebook that upset two old friends from a newsletter I used to write. These are situations I try to avoid. The adult me cares deeply about the feelings of others. The little girl in me wants to please people.
I need to please only God.
"For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Gospel.
Our purpose is to please God, not people.
He alone examines the motives of our hearts."
I believe with all my heart that healing is part of the Gospel we are to proclaim. After deep study and prayer over the past 19 months, Joel and I both have come to this conclusion. I believe He sent His son Jesus to die for our sins and for the diseases that the enemy brings against all of us. I do not believe God uses sickness to punish us or that He keeps us sick. I do not know the mind of God and I certainly don't have all the answers, but I do have His promises to depend on. In the past I often prayed for healing, and when it did not happen I decided God did not want me well for reasons beyond their understanding. Now I pray for healing and if I do not see it I still believe God wants me well. It is not arrogance, it is not denial, it is not wishful thinking. It is what I read in His Word.....in His promises. If I look foolish, then I will do so remembering I am to please God and not man. We are to walk in obedience.
God spoke to my heart today and I pray that what I write speaks to yours. He wants to heal our hearts too. He wants the very best for us as His children. Trials come and storms rage, but stand firm....knowing that it is for freedom that Christ set you free. Therefore never again be burdened by a yoke of slavery to sickness..........to fear............to worry.........to pleasing people. It is for freedom that we have been set free. The Bible tells me so.