Come away with me....
to a secret place.
Rest in My loving arms.
Not only when you are fearing the moment,
but always.
Live your life from the Father's arms.
These are the words I wrote last night as I expressed my thoughts on what I had been hearing and reading throughout the day, the past many days. I read them aloud to Joel before bed, and we talking about how to live from that secret place....in the Father's arms instead of from the soul....the me part of us....the flesh part.
So when I saw the title of Bonnie's article over at Faith Barista, I knew God was speaking. "The Beloved is Real: Do You Have a Beautiful Secret Place?" I opened her post and was overcome with the past, as she talked about the secret place she had created for herself as a small child. Bonnie has been sharing her journey of healing from PTSD and her traumatic childhood. She is an amazing woman of God who has been using her own story to give voice and courage to so many on a similar path. I am one. Each time I visit her cyber home I am changed.
Today she spoke about how, as a child, she had created this special world in her mind, where she felt beautiful, safe, loved, and alone with Jesus. She shared this with her therapist ~ this make believe world she felt she needed to let go of. She was not a little girl anymore. I was brought to a place of stillness by how her therapist responded. He replied,
“This is a beautiful place Jesus made just for you and Him. It’s where He’s preserved you safe.”
“It’s the opposite, Bonnie,” ”It’s time for you to make your outer world reflect you inner world — where you are completely loved. Cherished."
How sacred these words given to her listening heart. Precious jewels from Jesus spoken through a man of God. I began weeping for Bonnie, but soon realized I was weeping for me too. I could not help but reflect on my own childhood where deeply hidden memories surfaced and held me captive in PTS not too long ago. For me inner healing has come over the passing of time with Sozo ministry, and this inner healing opened the door for more physical healing too. Only God.
Just the past ten days Holy Spirit has been working to bring more healing to the deeper, hidden places within. I have been undone...there really is no other word for it....undone with the Father's love I have experienced. I keep telling Joel, "This has purpose, this is powerful" as I make the effort to keep my heart open to His will and remind myself ..."less of me...more of Him".
Today as I read Bonnie's post I thought about my own place of escape during my childhood when I believed I was invisible and all alone. Immediately the apartment my mother and I lived in came to .mind and I vividly saw the secret place where I felt safe and happy . The sofa was my bed, but there was a large closet with a window upstairs in my mom's bedroom that I called my own and I would go up there and sit. When the sun came in the window in the afternoons it was a bright place and after school when the quiet was unsettling, I would climb the stairs to this special place and play with my dolls. The seven dolls I spoke to were my companions and with them I did not feel alone.
Come away with me....
to a secret place.
Rest in My loving arms.
Not only when you are fearing the moment,
but always.
Live your life from the Father's arms.
As I continued to reflect on my secret place of so many decades ago I realized that it was created again within our own family. We have seven children, like as a child I had my seven dolls. I never felt alone when our house was full of kids! The loneliness deep inside was kept at bay with a full house. But now the children are gone many years, and it is not my hubby's job to be with me 24/7 although everyone we know would tell you that I would be thrilled if that were so.
God has been telling me in His gentle but powerful way that I can let go of those lonely feelings that held little Renee captive because they are and always have been a lie. I have never been alone. Jesus has always been with me, keeping me safe, holding my hand when I was not, and filling my life with His Presence. I have been undone by His presence as He has been healing me of the deep places within. "Ask and you shall receive".
God has been telling me in His gentle but powerful way that I can let go of those lonely feelings that held little Renee captive because they are and always have been a lie. I have never been alone. Jesus has always been with me, keeping me safe, holding my hand when I was not, and filling my life with His Presence. I have been undone by His presence as He has been healing me of the deep places within. "Ask and you shall receive".
Jesus says I am with you always. He never leaves us. Ever. I stopped running from the silence years ago, but I did not let myself heal from the memories that came with it. I did not know how....just toughen up, get over it, and all that, right? But I had to stop believing the lies from so long ago that I was alone and I had to put out my hands to receive the truth that Jesus had for me today nearly 60 years later. I have my secret place of intimacy with God every moment as I rest in His arms. I can bask in the Son-shine that fills me~ heart and soul~ the way I basked in the sunshine filling that small room so long ago. I am not alone in the secret place, the secret place which is in the Father's arms...moment by moment, day by day. Always,
Come away with me....
to a secret place.
to a secret place.
Rest in My loving arms.
Not only when you are fearing the moment,
but always.
Live your life from the Father's arms.
5 comments:
This brought me to tears, Renee. "God has been telling me in His gentle but powerful way that I can let go of those lonely feelings that held little Renee captive because they are and always have been a lie. I have never been alone. Jesus has always been with me, keeping me safe, holding my hand when I was not, and filling my life with His Presence." Such heartfelt words that speak to those deep parts of loneliness within me. I thought - Yes, that is what He is telling me, too. Thank you for sharing this, Renee.
So very timely in where I am. Thank you.
Wow Renee, I love how Bonnie's sharing has opened you up to look at your childhood memories. I love when we can be transparent and then others realize none of us has it all together really. I can just see you playing with your dolls. I used to seat all of my dolls in my window seat with my little sister in the middle of them and teach.
Blessings and love,
Debbie
Trudy, thank you for coming by here...so thankful you found it comforting and helpful.
Renee, I read this post a few weeks ago when you shared, but I wasn't able to comment at the time. I wanted to come back today and say thank you for sharing this. It's a very powerful testimony to what He's doing in your life and the love He's whispering to you.
Your words about how He's showing you that He's always been there are incredible. I was so in awe to read the part about 7 children even... isn't it such a God thing?
God is doing many things in my inner world now, too. It's been a liberating but confusing process, because it's meant change and acknowledging privately and publicly who I've been and what He's done and what He's placing in my heart for the future. I keep thinking, "Are You sure this is OK, God?" He is saying the same thing, "Look back at your life. The point isn't that you've never been good enough. The point is that I've always been with you."
I know that I can't comment as often as I'd like, but I'm blessed that we're walking some of this journey side by side. Hugs.
Post a Comment