In Quietness and Trust

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. 

 In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.  

Indeed, do not rely on your own wisdom, fear God, and stay away from evil.  

For then you will have health for your body 

and healing for your bones (and nerves.)"

Proverbs 3:5-8

Today I listened to a teaching by Bill Johnson that spoke about trusting God.  His grandmother lived with his family the whole time he grew up, and she would speak scriptures aloud to him every day. These verses were ingrained in his brain.......in his heart.  As he spoke about not leaning on our own understanding my situation came to mind.  Joel and I have been struggling with what we understand. About healing, about hearing God's voice, about His promises.   Bill went on to say, if we think we have full understanding of God and how He works in our lives, then there is no mystery.  And if there is no mystery of God left, there is no need to trust Him.  And trusting God?  Yeah..... it is big in my life.  It is necessary for all our lives.

I am not saying He gave me cancer to get me to trust Him.  Nope. "The devil came to steal, kill and destroy, and I have come to give you life and give it to you more abundantly" Jesus said in 

John 10:10.  But this is no surprise to God.  This not moving and dealing with breast cancer has us going back to the Word and studying how we hear His voice, and once again reading what He says about healing.   It has us spending more time in prayer in this Warm Room we have created.  Prayer is warfare.  I think I will be saying that a lot.  Good is already coming from what the enemy has meant for harm.

So we sit in the mystery of unanswered questions here with the move to Arizona cut off, and a diagnosis of cancer that has us doing a 360 on our daily walk.  We can only trust God in the process. Even dealing with all new doctors right now (my primary is on medical leave herself) is difficult for me.  But as we go from appointment to appointment;, as we hear good news and bad, and make important decisions in the process, Jesus whispers in our ears..........trust Me in the midst of all you do not understand.  Trust Me.  

In my morning prayer and imaging time with Papa God and just  a few days before we knew the results of the biopsy, I sat with Jesus in the garden of my heart.  I was holding a small satchel which is often filled with things I need.  I took out a Bible and a couple of other things.  Then I reached in and out came a miniature of the wood and metal plaque that is on our living room wall.  It says one word in big letters.  T. R. U. S.T.  It is all about trust.

You don't understand?  Trust ME, because you know who I am.  I am El Roi, the God who sees you.

You don't know what the future holds?  Trust ME.  You feel confused and worried?  Trust ME

I ordered a bracelet 18 months ago from Ann Voskamp's blog site.  It is sterling silver and is engraved with the words "In quietness and trust is your strength".  The day after my first mammogram I lost the bracelet. I could not find it anywhere and it is almost always on my wrist.  I was heartbroken not to have this reminder to trust.  We asked Holy Spirit to put it somewhere we could easily find it, but after waiting for a few days I stopped looking.  Then today, after I listened to the teaching on trust, and after writing most of this post, I was in the bathroom and noticed the kleenix box was empty.  I picked it up to take to recycling and heard something rattle inside.  I shook it upside down and my bracelet fell out!!  I started praising God and weeping.  It is no accident that on the day I listen to Bill about trust, on the day I pray about trusting God in this process, on the day that I write a post to that affect, my bracelet shows up inside an empty kleenix box.  Only God!!!

I will trust in the Lord, my Papa God, with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding in this diagnosis, this change of plans for moving.  I will try in all my ways to turn to Him and acknowledge Him as my Lord, my Papa, my Healer, my Provider.  My God who sees me and loves me.  I trust that He will make my/our path straight.  I won't rely on just my own wisdom and I will fear (live in awe) God.  I will stay away and rebuke the devils lies, and I will trust that I will see healing for my body and full health for my bones and nerves.