Just A Sentence...........

Recently I heard a teaching by Eric Johnson of Bethel Church that keeps echoing in my head.  "Whatever circumstance you are going through, whatever storm you are in, you need to remember that this is just a sentence in the story of your life.  Maybe a paragraph......but not the whole book." Don't get stuck here".

I have been trying to remember that as I face a week of more appointments and tests and so many unknowns.  I have been trying to see this journey as just a sentence in my life, but at times it has felt like so much more.  Three decades of fighting illness does that to a person.  Three years of freedom has given me a taste of the life I know Jesus has for me.

Yesterday I was feeling a bit sorry for myself.  I am on a third antibiotic for a UTI....I could not take the first one longer than 5 days, the second for more than 4, and now on day 4 of this one, I was having some pretty awful symptoms from it, including some brain stuff.  Joel noticed it and told me not to take it last night.  I did not, and by bed my head was a lot clearer.  These symptoms and fighting a persistent UTI have really ticked me off.  All I should be having to focus on is the surgery ahead.  Grrrrrr

Thinking about Eric's teaching, I realized I have two choices.  I can look at this season with medical challenges as a sentence or paragraph in my life, or I can look at it an endless novel with an unhappy ending.  If I look at it as a novel, it is dark and filled with despair, doctors, drugs, and pain, and I will lose in the end.  If I look at it as a paragraph or sentence  in the story of my life, there is so much more to focus on........

Today I woke up feeling pretty good and then while out walking we discussed the nuclear radioactive stuff that will go into my breast and I started to worry I would react to it like the old Renee  who had MCS might have.  Fear rose up again at what is ahead, and then I got really angry.  I am sick and tired of fear coming in and stealing my joy.  I am NOT that person any more. I recalled going to the dentist last week.  Four years ago I would have had throw up headaches for days after going to the dentist and spent a good week on the sofa.  Not this time.  I was just fine.  Yes, I will make the techs aware of the possibility with the injections, but I am expecting nothing to happen.  NO.  I refuse to partner with reactions anymore.  To the antibiotics, to the chemicals injected, to anything that goes into my body.  I refuse to partner with fear anymore over every test, every injection, words spoken to and over me, and the surgery.  PAPA GOD is in control and I am standing on HIS promises.  I am focusing on Him and the healing that has taken place in me.........

I am remembering the last 3 plus years of freedom and joy, the laughter, the trips, the hopes, the dreams.  Forty-seven years with my wonderful cowboy preacher with many more to come.  Our great kids, in-loves, and grands that grace our lives.  An end to all this and victory over cancer again. Healing and hope.  Always hope.

When I remember how much God loves me I smile inside.  When I think about my journey with Holy Spirit the past three years I smile even more.  When I focus on Jesus and what He has done for me I know without a doubt that this is just a sentence in my life.  Just one short sentence or paragraph in a life so blessed.

Just a sentence.............