"This is normal". I have been waiting a long time to hear a doctor tell me those words. Unfortunately they came with the skin issues I am having with the radiation. Burning and peeling going on in places that should not burn or peel. This past weekend things looked better and the coconut oil and lavender essential oil mix I used under my arm took away the sunburn and left a nice tan. But after yesterday's radiation the skin flared up again in other places. Especially under where the bra elastic fits. So, now I am living like a braless hippie, and using a special compounded cream for burns with lidocaine added for the pain. I am used to pain and did not think I needed it, but the doctor insisted and it will be nice not to deal with constant irritation and discomfort.
So, being honest here, I asked Joel...."Where is the Wrap-Around-Shield God promised me? Joel replied, "He is there, protecting your organs and keeping this from being really bad. It may be what you stand on if the Dr. decides to shorten the treatments. Dr. M. mentioned that today. God does not go back on His promises." Yes. I am still standing firm on God's promises. Not matter what. If He promised to be my wrap-around-shield then that is what He is.
Joel was talking to another woman today who shared she has weird things happening during the radiation. Another agreed. One has a foot that gets really hot. Another said that food tasted funny to her. One has burns under her arm that turned black. I get chills and shake after some treatments. And certain foods nauseate me. Now, the nurses blow all this off, saying it is not connected, just burns and fatigue. But here sat three of many women who are having weird things going on during treatments. Too bad the medical staff blows it off. They may learn something. For me, this was very helpful. I have always felt the patients know more about what they experience than those who treat us. Whether it is medication side effects or other things like radiation. I have had only one doctor truly validate what I had to say with symptoms...our Lyme doctor and I think she is rare.
The only one I had to compare my journey to was my sister K. who had only some fatigue with her treatments. After talking to others I am realizing she is unusual and thank God she is......and for once I am normal. Giggle. I think this is one of those times I would rather be the "strange bird" my surgeon called me.
I have 12 treatments left, and wish it was over......But for now, I am staying warm with the fireplace giving off heat, I'm enjoying a good book, and I am giving thanks for God being my wrap-around-shield and Joel walking with me side by side. In fact twice today two different people made comments about how we hold hands all the time. Even after so many years. Yep. I would not want to do this without him. I am blessed.
1 comment:
I have had you on my mind for the past few days. I have been dealing with vertigo...I had no idea how miserable that was. Even a trip to the ER wasn't much help. That Doctor should read this post, I told him it wasn't flu like at all, but he insisted. Another bout and another doctor finally got me on track. I hope to feel much better soon.
I remember my mom had burning too with her radiation...very uncomfortable I remember...and in such challenging places. I can't quite picture you as a hippie though, Renee! I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you continue to feel Gods prescence throughout each day. Hugs to you and Joel.
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